COMMUNICATIONS WITH     DEITY

"You understood, that your question was not the point.
Tomer has been    causing pain  by blatantly breaking his promise to play inside the pool.
Tomer is tortured by his    anxiety    that he may hack off his own arm, i.e. loose your love .
Tomer is    apologizing    to you from the depth of his soul .
Tomer is a gigantic teacher, not yet visible to anyone but to you,
his   appearance    on the backdrop of nature is still hidden,
but his vocation is being realized all the time,
whenever you, or his mother or his father, or his father's wife, etc., are triggered by him.
All of you attracted him into your lives as one of your main actors,
just as he himself chose all these contradicting personalities and confusing life-styles,
in order to heal and grow and fulfil his mission of transforming hurting into    loving."

Yes, the drama sped up to such extent,
that by night communication occurred between Tomer's parents!

In the course of fixing Tomer's daily routine in a graphical chart,
Ruth & Tomer had once planned: Thursday, 6PM: fun with mom.
It took some clashes, until Ruth followed this paragraph,
but yesterday she even suggested to go up the Titorah hill,
which gave Tomer a chance to show her all the things,
that have been part of our experience in the past 4 months,
like the sidra tree, under which we used to picnic after the pool,
or like the huge mystical hand, engraved on a tomb-like rock.

"The togetherness was amazing for a change", said Ruth,
and taking advantage of Tomer's sensible, perceptive mood,
she started to cautiously check, how he would feel and react,
 if Daddy, whose 2-monthly visit is due, would take him with him.

Five months ago, when the school and Ruth were about to despair of Tomer,
Immanuel was desperately determined to take Tomer with him, even by force.
Now it is Ruth herself, who advocates this solution, with a terribly guilty heart.

3 weeks ago she started to plan this for the end of the school year, June 30,
but yesterday morning, while calling me from work and asking for my help,
she expressed her exhaustion: "Maybe, his father should take him right away!"

So when she called me after the "Fun with Mom" experience,
and quoted many of Tomer's sensible and "grownup" reactions,
I suggested to share these with Immanuel and asked him to call her.

This morning I found an e-mail from him for Ruth,
from which it wasn't hard to guess, that he agreed,
and this despite the bad timing:
his fickle situation at his work,
not even enough money for his own flight, leave alone Tomer's,
and the threat of war all over the world.
[As if to underline the difficulties,
an ice-storm in Detroit cut off electricity, heating, light, e-mail, TV,
and it will take the Electricity Company 5 days to repair it~~~]

"Still, you can see, that the question, where Tomer chooses to live, is already answered.
To move to his father in Michigan,  though, is not what he would have chosen voluntarily.
It's part of the necessary spiral of doing his work of growing and making people grow."

I can see this spiral.
What would have been disastrous five months ago, is now right :
Tomer has become older five months,
and since he was with me, has grown twice as much.
This means, he is now ready and able to consciously cope with what he will miss badly,
his mother, his brother and sister, his friends, the language, grandma and the Titorah hill.

Immanuel and Efrat will have a chance to watch themselves,
to see the holes in their own wholeness, which Tomer triggers,
and to let go of both, judging others and of deluding themselves,
that if the child was raised by them, things would be different.

But I dread the harsh challenges that will make their situation in the US worse.

"Don't forget, that this period, too, will last no longer than
until they and Tomer will grow as much as they can do this mutually .

"And other events will occur, which will put an end to this period.

"And then, they might be ready to understand
what you have been trying to convey to them,
that to cope with an 'actor in your drama' like Tomer
you need more than the usual family support system.

"Neither his mother and partner, nor his father and partner, nor you, grandma!
can deal alone with the triggers which all of you are creating with this teacher.
All of you should be around Tomer and available for Tomer,
so that when one is exhausted by being triggered, another will take over.
You had this micro-experience yesterday, do you want to tell it?"

Yes, this one time I'll go into all the details of two such scenes.

"I suggest, that during the last days with Tomer you focus on your drama with him,
understand its process into depth and bring it to completion in your mutual reality."

I'll do so, Mother.