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See
below, what I inserted in January 2011!
InteGRATion into
GRATeFULLness
Close-ups of my Past
2007_10_05:
Closeup of diary 1979_11_05
Don't force yourself to change
"When you try to change,
you manipulate and torture yourself…
it is much more useful to simply become deeply aware of yourself as you are
now.
Rather than try to change, stop or avoid something that you don't like in
yourself,
it is much more effective to stay with it and become more deeply aware of
it…
"When you really get in touch with your own experiencing,
you will find that change takes place by itself,
without your effort or planning.
With full awareness you can let happen, whatever wants to happen,
with confidence that it will work out well.
You can learn to let go and live and flow with your experiencing and happening
instead of frustrating yourself with demands to be different.
All the energy that is locked up in the battle between trying to change and
resisting change
can become available for participation in the happening of your life
that is both passive and active.
"This approach will not provide you with answers to the problems of your
life.
It does provide you with tools that you can use to explore your life,
simplify and clarify your problems and confusions,
and help you discover your answers – what you want to do"
(John O. Stevers; Awareness, exploring, experimenting, experiencing ,1971 - mentioned in "Gestaltreview")
2007: It is amazing how long it took me to truly follow this understanding....
The rest of the diary - and the letter - is not directly
connected to the above, but still relevant.
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Meine liebe Anke: Danke fuer Dein Mich-Teilhabenlassen. … Da Du Mona erwaehnst – lass mich Dir eines der 1000 Dinge weitergeben, die ich von ihr lerne: Schmaehe nicht den Menschen, der Du bisher warst ("erschreckende Entdeckung", schreibsts Du). Wandlung ist Leben, und natuerlich wollen wir Wandlung zu immer intensiverem, vollerem Erfahren des Lebens. Aber das bedeutet nicht, dass Du bisher nicht alle Moeglichkeiten, Leben zu erfahren und Leben zu bewaeltigen ausgeschoepft hast. Nimm Dich an, wie Du warst, damit Du Dich annehmen kannst, wie Du bist. Erzwinge nichts: "Wie der Baum, der getrost in den Stuermen des Fruehlings steht" , Du weisst, kennst Rilke's Brief an einen jungen Dichter! "Leidenschaftlich zu lieben, ohne abhaengig zu werden, bzw. umgekehrt -nicht aus Angst vor Abhaengigkeiten Leidenschaft zu unterdruecken." Zu diesem "Kunststueck" bist Du heute faehig, weil Du einfachere Kunststuecke grundlich geuebt hast. Freu Dich Deines Wachstums und wisse, dass alles reift zu s ei n er Zeit. Rhythmus: Ich habe mich von Partnerschaft fuer ein
Schabbatjahr zurueckgezogen |
July 1979 at Ramat-Hadar, still my home
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to
former accidental closeup of my Past 
to next
accidental closeup of my Past
2011_01_18
Continuation
of this "Good-Bye Present" to my 23
years of Grandmotherhood
i.e. of the sequence of "The
Life of Ayelet, which Ayelet has not known",
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 Playing "Kiosk" |
Playing what? |
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The kids constantly created performances for each other |
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Teacher and pupils
Painting recycled boxes
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Co-creation
"Speakers" - on the background of a school
beyond veranda and street
From the sequence about "A True Pesach"
A subfolder with the material I collected for The
Life of Ayelet, which Ayelet has not known",
presents a sequence, which is especially dear to me, about "A True Pesach",
which I proposed to the
Quartet and to Micha, my son, on Pesach 2003:
We would actually "go out" from "Slavery" and beak unleavened
bread...
I'm inserting those photos, which I skipped on the
page dedicated to Yael.
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Completion of this "Good-Bye Present" to
my 23 years of Grandmotherhood
i.e. of the sequence of "The
Life of Ayelet, which Ayelet has not known",
at the end of "Succah
in the Desert" -ninth Stage