| The
Purpose of HEALING - K.I.S.S.
- as stated 12 years ago - was and is
to help me and my potential P E E R s
"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,
and - by extension - all of CREATion!" |
|
I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
|
|
K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
whole&full-filled, never perfect&complete
Intro
to
k.i.s.s.-l o g + all
dates
January
22
T'u
be-Shvat-Feast of the Trees - at Shoham
back to past ~~~~~
forward to future
image
of the day
Ours is the right veranda in the middle
floor with the 3 flower boxes & the wind-wheel |
hodayot [thanksgivings] for
today
8:14
My Body, my Partner,
I give thanks to our right groin,
which - despite its pain - finds a way to let us walk,
and even dance and jump with Mika.
I give thanks to being safe in a built house,
enjoying the storm outside , without being troubled by it,
as so often in "Succah
in the Desert"
and only twice, but horribly, while living in "Noah's
Cave".
[see 19th
Day and 12th
week]
|
Storm around "our" house from the
back-side, i.e. the side which turns to the Hill-under-construction,
or what we prefer to call the "Dommim-Hill"
Storm-ripped trees, when looking from the long staircase
between the upper street (entrance to our house) and the lower street
along the Dommim-Hill
January 23:
I wasn't able to delete this and the following photo, though they
seem to be too similar to be inserted on a page,
which - according to the rules of the kisslog
game - should not be "heavier" than 1200 pixels.
But I'm so delighted with the composition of human architecture and
the trees' blowing in the storm,
that I preferred to postpone the sculpting of the Dommim-Tree to a
page next week,
reminding myself then, how I reached the lonely tree and chose the
perspectives of photographing it
on today's Festival of the Trees, Chag ha-Ilanot, Tu-bi'Shvat.
I
received another long letter from Tina,
in which she tries to prove that Jesus was born in Bethlehem,
not in Nazareth,
It was a mistake to even have said the few things I said yesterday,
but I would still like to know, why I staged this virtual encounter
in my drama.
|
In
another e-mail I read, that Buckminster Fuller once said,
“In order to change an existing
paradigm
you do not struggle to try and change the problematic model.
You create a new model and make the old one obsolete.” |
While I used the morning walk with Nella for enjoying the storm,
the noon walk got - unintentionally - extended by my urge
to reproduce the scenery of the "Nella-Lesson"
with the camera..
Maybe the pictures will help me to see the lesson more clearly
and to internalize it in a way, that no repetition will be necessary.
|
This is the turn from the road which we
- Mika, Nella and I - took to escape traffic
|
And it was here, after a few steps, where
I let Nella loose...
After about 100 meter she strayed into the area of the archeological
excavations. |
 |
It seems,
that no building takes place at present,
so that the remnant from the Byzanthine period can be excavated
and so that citizens can voice their opposition, - a bit too
late, I would say!!!
|
It was on the edge of these rocks, from where
we could no longer chase Nella, who was just about to climb up to
the highway (to Jerusalem).
Luckily she came to her senses, but not towards me and Mika in my
arms....
Carrying Mika along this horrid track, while
both my right groin and my left knee began to give way and make walking
difficult,
I became crazy with fury at the dog, who kept disappearing and appearing,
seemingly enjoying her successful defiance.
"I didn't know you could utter such curses!",
said Efrat later. And I: "I've
been with young people for so long, that's why!"
|
Driving
Backward to 1964, University of Tuebingen, Institutum Judaicum
Immanuel, 10 months old, was with my mother
at Boeblingen.
I was working as an assistant of Prof. Otto Michel and Prof.
Otto Bauernfeind.
The secretary of the Institute, who later arranged our wedding-dinner,
was Johanna Kretschmar.
One morning she entered the Institute, telling a horrible event:
"A mother with two children
was walking on the sideway.
Suddenly one child freed himself from his mother's hand
and ran right in between the cars on the street.
The mother, in panic, left the hand of her other child,
in order to save the first one.
The other child ~~~ too ~~~~ ran in between the cars.
Both children were killed."
Whenever I see this scene in front of my inner eyes,
I want to sob.
It is always, as if this had happened to me,
and as if it had happened not 44 years ago, but yesterday.
|
I continue to finetune to my lesson
with Nella:
Why did I take both Mika and Nella?
Hadn't I only recently warned Efrat
of taking Mika with one hand and Nella with the other,
while telling her that story of 1964?
What stupid pride is this -
to be able "to manage"?
Haven't I trained already
in simplifying my life,
my actions and my interactions,
so there would always be enough time, enough strength,
to not only "function well", but to truly live,
i.e. to savor life in its delicate details, its complex aspects,
no longer needing
"action" and "drama" to feel I am alive?
|
And then, when Nella slipped
into the costume of a trainer for me,
why did I resist and override every single feeling that flooded
me?
First Feeling: Shame!
- after having bragged, I was ashamed of having failed .
Second Feeling: Fury!
No human being would defy me as this dog did..
Third Feeling, Fear of future Guilt
- the dog had just entered the family,
and it was not my dog !
Fourth Feeling- More Fear of future
Guilt
- They had spent so much money on this dog already: 1800 NIS
for acquiring it from the S.O.S.-for Animals Organization,
for buying equipment, food and medicine,
for bringing her to the vet for a general check-up,
for going to the vet two more times,
once because she was scratching herself madly,
and just the day before because of her whoopingcough ...
A gorgeous fresh rosette of
the Butzin healing leaves
-the KingsCandle Flower, which will blossom only in June
|
On that day the drama with Nella did
not allow us to discern any flowers
All the more it was fitting today's "Tree Festival",
Tu be-Shvat,
to have discovered the first anemones in this winter! The
famous "kalaniot"!
What would have happened if I had truly lost the dog?
Would Shame and Guilt have killed me?
What about my Release of the first two
Judgments:
|
22:42
I shall let go now,
though I still don't feel whole.
In any case: thank you, Nella and Efrat, for teaching me!
As to the closure of this day with "Mika in Hanni's movement-group"
and of Efrat's talk with me about my renewed pain concerning Ronnit,
I may have time on Thursday or Friday.
Tomorrow at 8 o'clock it will be 45 years since I gave birth to Immanuel,
and the sculpture of the K.i.s.s.-L o g - page will be dedicated
to him!
song
of the day
A Stormy Night
A song for our children by Rafael and Rachel
|
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whole&full-filled,
never perfect&complete
Keep It
Simple Sweetheart
K.I.S.S.
- L O G 2
0 0 8
|
