The Purpose  of   HEALING - K.I.S.S.

- as stated 12 years ago - was and is

  to help me and my potential P E E R s 

"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,

and - by extension - all of CREATion!"
Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013
and Overview of its main libraries

[If you look for a word on this page,
click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]


I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"

 

 

Overview of & Links to the Pages of My Community: Desert Vision-Rihlah Parting from its realization in the exterior World

 

 

2003_03_14; last update: 2007_12_13

Desert    W a t e r    Vision
 Water in the Wilderness (3)
Along the Syrian-African Rift: RED SEA - SINAI 1996
Page Three -- Fragments only

I lift my eyes to the mountains,
from whence will come my help,
my help from YHWH
who makes heaven and earth.
Bible, Psalm 121,1; Tune: popular

 

[still to be told: it's mentioned at least in Learn&Live 12, >Dec. 12-24, 2010]
The sad story of the fraud of that Egyptian couple, the loss of money, of trust and of my "gareed" design.]

We inaugurated our Rihlah on September 13, 1996, which was the day of the Jewish NewYear.
Among the first six guests from six countries - and not many were to follow -
there was my friend Professor André Nayer from Bruxelles.

Andre, the child of Indian parents, born in South-Africa, but most of his life in Bruxelles,
was connected to a committee of the European Union,
which concerned itself with the laws of Labour.
For this reason Ram Eisenberg,
who met him in a concert or so, in Jerusalem in 1992,
sent him to me to the Succah.

There came about 85 visitors during that Shabbat in May,
but Andre was the only weekend guest and I was the only host.
The "click" between us was so strong,
that a few months later he registered for our silence meeting with Dieter and Batyah.
As I took part in that silence too, we did not talk,
but met sometimes in the Isaac-succah and talked by writing.
He was going through distress with his wife and another woman he loved.

Because of this talk I dared to approach the big professor,
when the coincidences after that appearance of Love reached a peak:
In April 1994 my love was scheduled for a seminary in Bruxelles,
while I had Renata's ticket gift for Germany in my pocket .
"My love's hotel is paid, but it does not include me, of course,
could I be so impertinent as to ask you to host us for a week?"
By then Andre had already made up his mind to live with Claire.

We were welcomed with utmost warmth and hospitality.
And, of course, Andre always tried to assist me in my cause.

What a joy then, that Andre took time out from his overloaded life,
to help me test my fragile, immature, impossible creation in Sinai.

I was excited, but also scared,
and - as I saw later - rightly so, because Andre got sick,
not as badly as I seven weeks before,
but too badly to enjoy the harsh pleasures of the Table wadi ,
and he had to shorten his week with us.

Being so focused on Andre's coming,
I made an unforgivable mistake with my potential partners.
But I did not know this until after unbelievable pain later that day.

I had informed Ahmed and Aziz what a big shot was coming to us,
that he, though small in size, had a vast audience of students etc.
I said, that I would go down to the road, and wait for him there,
and that they should give him a warm welcome, when we would come up.

When Andre saw me from within the service taxi,
he stopped it and stepped off in the middle of nowhere to embrace me.
I invited him to first go down to the sea to take a swim.
When we finally arrived in the Bedouin tent,
which served as our kitchen and dining place,
there was no one there.
I felt ashamed and angry.
High above a rock we found our guest and helper Sandra in her pyramid.
"Ahmed and Aziz have both gone down to the beach."
I didn't know where to look, --- I was so terribly ashamed.
Andre tried to make it easy for me.
I left him with Sandra and went to search for my "partners".

Further down the wadi I saw Ahmed coming with water cans.
I ran towards him and attacked him madly.
What shoved me over the brink was what he said about Aziz :
"He went to go fishing near his shack on the beach ,
because he has some debts and must pay back the guy today."
He volunteered to fetch him, but I screamed at him:
"You go up and be with your guests!"
All the time I had trained them to look at the Rihlah as theirs
and to relate to the guests as theirs,
and now "they" had forced me into the position of a boss.


I sped down to the sea, not our usual path,
since Aziz' shack was further to the south,
but crossing difficult terrain to shorten the way,
it was a miracle, that I didn't fall and break a leg.
I saw Aziz standing far out in the shallow water.

I yelled in utmost fury, not caring about some guys on the beach.
Aziz came back and reacted defiantly, even cockily.
I went out of my mind and ran into the sea with pain too big to bear.
Aziz came after me, grabbed me harshly and dragged me back.
I don't know, what kind of threat I screamed at him,
but he did leave the beach to go up to "his" guests.
I myself crawled slowly north along the beach,
until I found a place to sit and to finally cry.
I must have screamed and cried for 2 hours.
Then it struck me!
Not irresponsibility was the cause of their absence,
but FEAR!

I had wanted to make them feel proud!
Their first guest would be a professor!
Instead I had frightened them to death.
How could they, hardly educated,
runaways from their own society,
host such a high guest from Europe?

Only now I remembered my pain with Freidj,
the local Bedouin in Tarabeen,


Now , on the beach 2 km north of Freidj's village
and 1 km north of my collision with Aziz,
soothed by the light of the sun set over the sea,
I woke up to my own blindness,
to my stupidity, my insensitivity,
yes, to my own unconscious fear!

For why had I broken my own law?
Didn't I always insist, that I was coaching them,
but would not do the things   f o r    them?
Why hadn't Ahmed gone down to the road and received Andre?
Or if I "didn't rely on him" (??), why hadn't I taken him with me?
Wasn't it, because I feared,
their sight would lower the professor's confidence?
That he would feel unsafe with "this kind of hosts"?


Oh these shameful awakenings in my life!
Like the one with Tomer more than 6 years later,
[see puzzle piece 48b- FEAR; 2003_03_13]
which prompted me to sculpt this lesson in Sinai!

Night had covered the sites of my raging.
Slowly I climbed up our wadi, my head sunk.
How did I meet our guests and my trainees?
I don't remember.
But I do remember me and Aziz sitting in my tent,
maybe the next day or even days later.
I shared with him what I had understood.
And he - he too admitted, that he had acted badly.
He let me know, that he was sorry for having hurt me.
And we hugged.
A moment of grace.


 

Ahmed Sawarqa, in Sinai 1996, my closest co-worker, and I,
used to comfort each other with this verse from the Qur'an.
Any translation can only faintly convey the beauty and depth of this consolation.


Sûrah-31,22 or Sûrah Luqmân


Whosoever surrendereth his purpose to Allah
while doing good,

he verily hath grasped the firm hand-hold.

Unto Allah belongeth the sequel of all things

tune:
Christa-Rachel Bat-Adam: May 5, 2005

 


 


.not completed

 

" For HE created newness
on earth
female encircles
(or "encloses" or "encompasses")
male! "
"They will no longer teach each other
saying: "Know YHWH"!
For they shall all know me,
from the smallests of them
until the greatest of them."
"And their soul will be like a watered garden."
Jeremia 31, verses 21, 33 [34], 11 [12] , another stanza in the "Rejoice will the Wilderness" song


Ronni-Ronnu - Jubilate

I came back from my superhuman effort in Sinai,
after the miracle and mirage in the form of Ranni.

Yehuda Amichai

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



At dawn I had parted from my Bedouin trainees,
walked down my Wadi-a-Taula, my Table-Wadi,

waited for a public transport taxi at the roadside,

passed the Egyptian and Israeli side of the border,
waited at the station for a bus to the center of Eilat,
walked from there to the outskirts of the town,
from where I was taken by a car for a stretch.

Standing at a junction all alone in the August heat,
nothing but desert and an empty highway around,
a tune entered my heart and head and mouth,
a tune to the cherished prophecy about a tent.
The first Hebrew word looks like :"ranni",
Later I learnt that it's pronounced: "ronni",
also the root of my daughter's name Ronnit.

Still the first stanza is dedicate to Ranni, Ran Lichtner,
then the kind of angel, who always - predictably - stands
at the edge of another abyss of mine.

Over the years I added 2 more stanzas
with prophecies that start with this verb:
ronnu - jubilate
the same verb in the plural form.



See the entire song now in 2007 Song-Game

Jubilate, O barren,
you who did not give birth
exult, break-forth in jubilation
you who did not labor,
for more are
the children of the desolate
than the children of the married.

Make wide the place of your tent,
and the curtains of your habitations may stretch
spare not,
lengthen your cords,
and strengthen your stakes.
[Isaiah 54, 1-3; my translation]

ronni
'aqarah
Juble, Entwurzelte,
die nicht geboren hat,
brich in Jubel aus, jauchze,
die nicht gekreisst hat,
denn mehr sind
der Soehne der Verstarrten
als der Soehne der Verehlichten.

Weite den Raum deines Zelts!
deiner Wohnungen Behaenge spanne man auseinander!
spare nimmer,
verlaengre deine stricke,
deine Pfloecke verfestige!
[Jesaja 54,1-3; Buber-Rosenzweig]


Anna from Germany, who was my "successor" at the Rihlah for half a year ,
and a regular Sinai visitor, Ilana Horowitz, a Russian Jew, who lived in my home town Stuttgart,
planned a wonderful workshop in line with what we had dreamt together.
But in Sinai everything fell apart, all the tents were stolen, etc. etc.

 

 

 

2007_12_13

This is a letter, which Ahmed Sawarqa managed to deliver to me in May 1999:

 

2006_02_23 Completion of Ahmed's Story and the Story with Ahmed


I had to wait for 2 hours in Beersheva for getting a C.T. of my paining groin,
I therefore had time to call people whom I hadn't heard from for a long time.

Among them was Ahmed Sawarqa.

We both refrain from calling each other,
since any attempt to do so usually ends in frustration.
The connection between Arad and El-arish (Egypt south of Gaza) rarely works.

This time he answered right away,
and right away understood: "Rachel"?
And - both in Hebrew and in Arabic: "How are you?"
But then the connection faded away, and repeated dialing led nowhere.

Still I was happy, that this tiny exchange had been granted to us.
Meaning: "We are still in each others' lives!
We still dream about Peace through Desert Hosting Economy."

Mystically enough, it was on my birthday in August 2004,
when my mobile phone rang,
while I was walking in the desert between Arad and Masada and the Dead Sea,
near Rakhaf, the place where I was living in my fourth generation tent ,
the kind of tent, which Ahmed had helped sowing,
only that then , in 1996, it was the third generation version.


Almost eight years had past, since we last saw each other.
Now he was married, had two children, and worked in a store near El-Arish.
Once in 2 weeks or so he would travel from the Mediterranean to the Red Sea.


After my exclusion from Egypt on Nov. 8, 1996, we kept contacting via friends.
In 1997 the Egyptian Authorities offered the purchase of land on the beach,
provided people would build some "real" shacks [mobile tents were not "real"]
and thus ((?)) prove that they could run a hosting business.
Together with two partners, one of them living nearby in Nuweiba,
and with a little financial help from me
and from Anna, a German woman, who tried to replace me there for some time,

they bought the land rather cheaply and founded "Bamboo-Beach".
That's how they called the tiny hosting business - in memory of our tents.

7 years later, my "partner" Hagai Lev went to Sinai and searched for Ahmed.
He, indeed, found one of the tents still on the beach (the others had been stolen),
The present host knew "all about Rachel", as if he had met me in person,
and gave Hagai the phone-number of Ahmed's friend in El-Arish.

That's how I became blessed with that phone-call on my birthday.

A few months later, Ahmed got his own cell-phone,
but even now, we cannot meet,
I am not allowed to go to Egypt,
and Egyptians, especially Egyptian Bedouins, have learnt not to dare visit Israel.
But at least we know, that we are still together on this planet, dreaming...
Anna's photo of Ahmed.

 

This is Ahmed's sad story:

His father had an orchard near El-Arish, in whom he had invested all his life.
One day the Egyptian army uprooted the orchard,
because they wanted there - exactly there - to erect baracks for the soldiers.

Ahmed was so upset, that he felt, he could no longer stay in Egypt.
So he crossed the unfenced border at about the same spot,
where I would cross it in the opposite direction, a year or so later,
and for the same reason:
we both lost our heads in fury and protest against the authorities of our countries.

BUT !
There the similarity stops!
While I was only for 3 days in detention,
Ahmed, who reached Beersheva and was handed over to the police by a Bedouin!,
spent 9 months in an Israeli prison (where he learnt Hebrew),
and when he was sent back to Egypt,
he was put in prison there for another 6 months.

"An Egyptian prison is not like an Israeli prison.
We slept on the floor like sardines.
One could turn over only if all the others turned over too."
And he added:
"It was there that I stopped feeling anything.
I didn't even long for my mother any longer."

He told this story after we had been working together for several weeks already.
"Only now - doing this pioneer work together with you and Aziz - I know again,
that there can be moments of joy."

But in a way I let him down.
During one of Ahmed's nightly imprisonments,
to which my Bedouin partners were subjected several times,
usually for no pretext whatsoever,
one of the four kinds of police, which dominate Sinai, threatened us so heavily,
that I agreed with Aziz that we had to succumb.



So we carried all our tents and equipment down to Aziz' shack on the beach.
When Ahmed was released , he found none of us up there in the Table Wadi.
He was terribly sad and angry:
"Why did you give in! They may be just threatening!"

We had an Israeli guest then, a young man, who said to me:
"I'm truly surprised, that Ahmed takes this to heart so much.
I was sure, it was all your idea, and they were just staggering along after you."

We tried to keep up our business on the beach for some days.

But Ahmed, Aziz and the third, not very reliable host, Muhammed,
went back to their old ways of smoking grass
from morning to night and from night to morning.

I despaired.
I crawled into the shallow sea and far out there I screamed to God:
"You can do your shit yourself!
I can do nothing but being solidary with this scum of humankind!"
I cried my heart out, and when I came back, Ahmed said:
"You are utterly exhausted, Rachel, you need to go to Israel and take a holiday!"

This is the last sentence of Ahmed I remember.
For soon enough I did go to Israel - for 5 weeks,
recovering ,
finding money to pay for the purchased material of the 12 intended tents,
of which six had been sown by us already,
and advertising the Rihlah and a program of healing-hosting there.

A Space for Training Feeling: Mobile Hosting Enterprise

Except, that when I wanted to come back to Ahmed, to Aziz , to Muhammed,,
loaden with stuff for the Rihlah, like a solar panel, and gifts for the three,
I was not allowed to enter Egypt anymore - for an undetermined period....

 

 


Scroll down to the end of the Sinai-Page and try to understand , why the time was not ripe then nor is it ripe today, June 2009


And listen to my singing of this Sura from the Qur'an in Song-Game

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

By the morning hours,

And by the night when it is stillest.

Thy Lord hath not forsaken thee
nor doth He hate thee,

And verily the latter portion will be better for thee than the former,

And verily thy Lord will give unto thee
so that thou wilt be content.

Did He not find thee an orphan and protect (thee)?

Did He not find thee wandering and direct (thee)?

Did He not find thee destitute and enrich (thee)?

Therefore the orphan oppress not,

Therefore the beggar drive not away,

Therefore of the bounty of thy Lord be thy discourse.



 

 

 

 

 

In May 2009, Ahmed tried to contact me again, first by phone,
then by e-mail via his nephew Mesabh (pronounced masbakh).

Today, on July 12, 2009, I felt,
that I could no longer respond to Ahmed's or Mesabh's quest,
to communicate with me "on the exterior level".

I have this difficulty with almost my old friends.
I feel ashamed and grieved,
but I do hope, that somewhere in Ahmed's heart,
there will be understanding and inner communication.

 

on June 4, Mesabh sent a link to Bamboo-Beach,
the hosting business which was born out of our destroyed Rihlah
and wrote:


I felt powerless to respond, also because of the language, and asked Nimr Ismair for help

 


June 18, 2009 Christa Rachel Bat-Adam to Mesabh

Mesabh!
there are some mistakes in Nimr's translation of my letter:
I know, that not YOU are the owner of the Bamboo Beach business.

And in February 2006 it wasn't Ahmed who called me, but I called him.

And when Ahmed will open the link to "Sinai" on my site,
I want him to open also the link to "Desert Water Vision",
which is mentioned on that page,
and to read at least the last passage on the Sinai page.

And to write to Ahmed was difficult not only because of the language problem,
but because of the other communication problems which I mention.

Nimr also didn't translate, that he and I know each other since our "peace-work" from 1976- 1981.

It is also not clear, that my singing of that verse in the Qur'an (man yuslim ...),
which Ahmed and I loved, can be heard on Song-Game 2007

I hope, that you understand all this and can explain it to Ahmed.
Thank you for helping us.
Christa-Rachel Maryam Bat-Adam

 

On July 2, 2009, Mesabh answered


Mesabh attached a photo of El Arish beach
(which is close to the region where Ahmed lives, when he is not at Bamboo Beach at the Red Sea)
"as a gift from Mesabh to Rachel"

 

On July 2, 2009
I only sent a short note and the link to the beautiful "peacesinging"

thanks for your letter, Mesabh,
it will take time, until I'll answer

 

When , on July 12, 2009, Mesabh asked: "Are you busy?"
I tried to convey the plight of my heart:
Christa Rachel Bat-Adam to mesabh

Dear Mesabh,
the reason for not writing is not, that I am busy,
but that I don't know what and how to write.
You did not even relate to the things I wrote
and to the links to my website which I sent you.
And I don't blame you.
My world is too far from your world,
and I prefer NOT to try to bridge what cannot be bridged,
except to send a message from time to time,
saying, that you and Ahmed in Egypt and I in Israel are alive,
until the time, when we can meet face to face.
Even with Nimr writing is too difficult for me,
and the same is true for most of my other old friends.
It is, as if there is no common language between us now,
even when those friends speak Hebrew or German or English.
Forgive me!!!!
And please , tell me - with explicit words in writing -
that you and Ahmed free me from your expectations!
PLEASE!!!!!!!

Christa-Rachel Maryam Bat-Adam

And 20 minutes later:
Once more, Mesabh!
I'm ashamed now!
somehow your letter had disappeared,
and I discovered it right after I sent my last letter.
I see now, that you DID relate to the links I sent you!
And that you DID answer my questions concerning Bambo-Beach.
Please forgive me!
Thank you also for the gift of the picture,
though I would have liked a picture of Ahmed's house and family,
and of Ahmed himself and of you.
But all this does not cancel my quest,
that you free me from continuing this correspondence.
PLEASE!

Christa-Rachel Maryam Bat-Adam

The next morning I found
Mesabh's reaction...
I answered one more time:


I feel terrible to hurt you like this, Mesabh,
but thank you for letting me go.

And please, do not just "tell" Ahmed,

but let him s e e my letters!

Maybe he will feel me

and understand me

and not be hurt too much!


Christa-Rachel


 

2009_11_11

 

Mesabh,
you sent this letter twice,
but did not react to my letter about the verse from the Qur'an.
On the other hand, I didn't respond to your letter,
in which you explained, how people can find Bamboo-Beach.
I can no longer find this letter in my mail-box,
so please send it again,
or describe again,
what people must do after crossing the border.

The problem is, Mesabh and Ahmed,
that I am not in contact with "people".
I once tried to make you understand,
why I don't want a correspondence with you at this time,
I tell you now, that except for the 16 members of my family
(3 children with their 3 spouses and 10 grandchildren)
there are not more than 2 close friends and some 10 less close friends in my life.
I have "frozen" many relationships,
since they are not helpful or fruitful enough for me at this time.
I want a few relationsships in t o d e p t h
rather than many relationships which are superficial.
Therefore - it was a rare incident,
that a relative of my daughter-in-love visited me at Arad
and said, that from Arad he would go straight to Sinai.

But perhaps God will provide more 'incidents' like that,
and for those cases I need correct instructions
about how to reach Bamboo-Beach.

The fact, that you turned to me already several times
asking for my help to find guests for Bamboo-Beach
seems to say, that you have difficulty in filling up your hosting-place.
I know, that this has to do with the political situation and the fear of the Israelis.
I'm very very sorry and sad, that we are still in that situation,
and that you at Bamboo-Beach cannot make a living by
"Peace through Desert-Hosting-Economy",
which, as you might know,
has been and still is my great vision,
for which I worked in Wadi at-taula in 1996
with the invention of the "Rihleh" (Pyramidion in English),
and of course before that and after that - in Israel's desert.

I believe, that your little hosting-business
and the fact, that there is still a connection between Ahmed and me,
is like a sign, that one day my-our vision will come true!

liLLah 'aqibat il-umour.....

Christa-Rachel Maryam Bat-Adam

Ahmed's Bamboo-Beach today
Ahmed


 

See more pictures on Desert Water 3, page 1 and on Desert Water 3, page 2