2009_11_16
A series of coincidences, triggers and their purpose
It was fixed, that I would arrive at Lod at 15:37,
which meant that I had to leave my home at 12:25,
if I wanted to jump into the Arad pool a second time,
before marching on to the 13:30 bus to Beersheva.
Since Immanuel and I had finished our remote-control work
on fixing technical problems on my computer only
at 12:10,
and I still had to water my garden and pack my things,
I was very pressured and asked "on the inside":
'Should I postpone my journey for an hour
or even more?'
After all, Immanuel has just informed me,
(the technical reason for the withdrawal from
"My Desire" on Nov. 15-16)
that he wouldn't be able to fetch me from Lod train-station,
and that I would need to take a taxi.
The answer "on the inside" was, that I should hurry.
I managed to swirl around in the pool for 7 minutes only,
reached the bus and the train in time and arrived in time.
The photo through
the dirty train windows hardly gives
an idea of the breath-taking spectacle performed by sun and clouds,
while Brahms' 1st symphony played in my ears.
Now I was sitting in the taxi and the idea occurred to me:
'I could help Efrat by taking Mika from
kindergarden.
After all she has returned from her 4 days in Thailand only in the
early morning and gone straight to work.'
How strange,
that this very fact didn't lead me to the opposite conclusion:
'Since Imma hasn't seen Mika for 4 days,
she'll want to fetch her from kindergarden herself!
And since Mika hasn't seen Imma for 4 days,
she'll wait all day long for being fetched by Imma.'
But as Efrat said later, after we had worked out our triggers:
"It all happened,
so we'll have this conversation."
While in the taxi, I called Efrat ~~~ no answer.
After 5 minutes I sent her an SMS ~~~no answer.
[Later we found out,
that these attempts appeared on my phone, but NOT on Hers!]
Despite feeling ambivalent and even a bit scared,
I asked the driver to bring me to the kindergarden.
I cautiously entered the "afternoon-kindergarden"
with Ortal and Zippora and only a third of the morning-children present.
Once before I did this and Mika ran towards me and jumped on me, but
not so this time.
She clearly saw me, but I didn't see her and asked: "Has
Mika already been fetched?"
When she was pointed out to me and I was pointed out to her: "See
your grandma!"
she looked at me (nothing in her face showed her deep disappointment)
and said:
"Why hasn't Abba come!"
"Because he is busy!"
(he had told me, that he had an appointment with the lawyer of his
dead father, that's why he couldn't fetch me.
Later it turned out, that he stayed home in order to sleep before
flight after the intense days during Efrat's absence).
"Why hasn't Imma come!"
"She didn't answer my phone, so I came straight from the train
to you!"
She digested this for a while, and then said into the total silence
in the room :
"at .... klum! - You are .... nothing!"
It wouldn't have mattered to me, if we would have been alone with
each other.
But in front of her mates and teachers I felt she had put me to shame.
I tried to play it down by asking in an amused voice:
"I am nothing?"
She didn't even relate by saying: Yes, you are nothing.
She simply repeated - seemingly emotion-less:
"at klum!"
Why had I attracted an asura?
And more important:
why had I created a situation, which sooner or later would make her
feel guilty?
Or - as Efrat put it later, after she had scolded Mika harshly about
her behavior-
"now she has got a "sritah"
(a scratch, new Hebrew slang for "trauma")
and will be afraid of what to say to you!"
 
Something in her face here reminds me
of little Christa (1941-42)
Out on the street she had forgotten about
her disappointment.
She took my hand , and when we passed the entry to "Wadi-Park",
she even wanted me to go there.
"No, but Imma doesn't know, that we already
left the kindergarden,
she is probably on her way here and we must not miss her!"
I still believed, that since Immanuel had taken the car to Tel-Aviv,
Efrat would need to walk by foot the 7 minutes - something she hates.
The problem was, that there was more than one track to reach home.
Mika insisted on a certain path, which misled us and I became afraid.
When she became tired etc., I took her on my arms - heavy as she is.
And then - in contrast to the lack of communication by phone -
a double little miracle,
we reached the road - though at the wrong end - just in time,
when Efrat - further above - was about to turn into it!
and --"by chance" looked into our direction and discerned
us.
When we reached her, I was not spared her anger:
"But I, I wanted to fetch her from the
kindergarden!"
Mika entered the car, I closed the door behind her and walked home
alone.
Only after 10 minutes they came in:
"I'm not angry, only disappointed!"
said Efrat gently.
She had needed those 10 minutes with Mika outside.
When I entered the house, I met my son!
He had not gone to Tel-Aviv and therefore the car was with Efrat.
My attempt to help, "to make it easy for people" was, as
so often,
not only unnecessary, but downright NOT RIGHT!
He, too, let me feel, that he wasn't pleased with my "initiative"!
I felt terribly triggered,
not so much by the threefold rejection I had just experienced,
but by the fact, that my inner voice had mislead me.
Moreover - that I had decided against my own desire-
to take my time and - without pressure - enjoy the pool
and come an hour or even two hours later to my family.
This pattern of preferring what I BELIEVE to be another's need to
my own need
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
will I ever get free from it?????
I am grate-full, that none of us could "control" our emotions,
and so we sat down, Efrat, Immanuel and I,
and despite Mika's protest, since she wanted to be the center,
and walked away angrily: "I'm going to
my room!"
we did talk.
After everyone had said, why s/he had been
triggered,
we came to point, as I saw it:
"Last time you doubted, Efrat, that I still
wanted to come to you,
and be present with Mika and you, while Immanuel is on long flights!
The truth is, that I'm no longer as sure as I was, if I am really
needed!
Couldn't it be, that you are now moving towards independence from
me?"
Efrat found this "not to the point" at all, but brought
up another issue.
"We already talked about it last time,
when you said to Mika:
"I came especially for you!"
(meaning: "you should take advantage of
the time we have together").
"I told you, that with such a sentence you educate her to please
you!"
"Yes, I accepted that!
And I accepted that you advised me not to court her, but to let her
court me."
"If so, nothing has changed:
As you said 3 years ago: "my room is always open.
I shall not initiate, but I shall always be available (lo
yozemet, aval zminah)"
This is all what is needed, this is what makes us glad and feel whole."
In that minute Efrat had to go out , in order to bring Ronni, Mika's
friend, in.
I used the time to make my son aware, how I had struggled with his
sentence:
"(Perhaps
this will be the beginning of a gradual process of liberation)"
(Oct.24-25)
He was surprised!
I emphasized, that my desire was that Efrat may indeed become free
from ME.
But since the manifestation of this desire meant my own liberation
from Shoham,
I might make mistakes, as with this wrong timing of fetching Mika
from kindergarden
I asked him to be aware of what needs to change and to tell me gently,
but clearly
and in time!
When Efrat came back (and Ronni joined Mika, who had forgotten her
anger, in her room)
and we once more thought of the strange coincidences during the last
5 hours, she said:
"It all needed to happen exactly like that,
so that we could have this talk together!"
For me there was an additional lesson:
Even if I for the umptiest time succumb to my "making it easy
for people" pattern,
the mess which may result from this might be part of a staging,
which will advance awareness and communication of the actors in my
drama...!
The next morning, before kindergarden
The present fashion
are 3 dimensional stickers,
which can be taken off
after they have been stuck on a surface.
But Mika and her friends
stuck the stickers in their albums
accidentally, without an idea behind it.
So I taught her
to create
a composition.
In Hebrew it's the same word,
"compositia",
and , of course, difficult to pronounce
for a little girl.
But she liked the word
and after trials and errors
she managed to use the term herself.
The first composition was a flower... |
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When she began
a composition with little bears,
I asked her:
"What is written here,
is LOVE in English!
What does LOVE mean?"
She was sure of her quick answer:
"LEV"!
LEV in Hebrew means HEART!
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The camera was still with me,
when I - as usual - accompanied Mika and her mother to the car - to
kindergarden and job.
I made her laugh, when I took a picture through the rectangular hole
in the seat in front of her.
After kindergarden Mika is keen on Imma's
spending time with her.
the 4 days of Imma's absence (Thailand!) must be compensated for.
Later it was grandma's turn to enjoy
Mika's creativity.
It began with a clothespeg, which she found in my room.
After some attempts to fasten different clothes together,
she despaired and demanded, that I invent something big.
So I invented "a tent" , into which she crept and played
"horse".
Why "horse"? Because among the junk which I guard for her,
was also the broad round strip which I had cut from a blouse.
It was a perfect bridle, except that she didn't want to run around.
She wanted to lie in the closed tent (this is the only photo she allowed!),
cover herself with a "blanket" and let me sort-of cradle
her in the bridle
- singing a primitive lullaby, which came to my tongue and lips just
then.
When this experience was exhausted
(a pity, that the loveliest creations can
never be documented, since I am a part of the interactive creativity...),
Mika was again with Imma until the time came to shower.
In the meanwhile I sat at the piano and played simple pieces.
Both Mika and Efrat were "enchanted" , and after the shower
danced to the music.
This is the first time, that I could overcome my resistence to playing
again.
The last time I tried, was with some difficult Bach music and Efrat
complained:
"Finally you play, but why something so heavy . Play something
light!"
So, since Mika no longer wants me present when she eats her cereals,
which is good, since she then concentrates and doesn't need to be
reminded to eat,
I continued with the "concert" the next morning. She seemed
to like it...
By the way , the wall behind me is of the same red color as was the
wall in my home at Modi'in (2001-2004),
but also the same color as my husband and I had decided on, when we
enlarged our house at Ramat-Hadar in 1966.
And it was the piano (which my husband agreed to acquire
after 10 years of our marriage), which came to stand in front
of the red wall.
Immanuel can live with this wall in Shoham only, because Efrat discovered
a pretty picture to be applied directly to the wall.
[See
the coincidence with the Red Wall on November 23 on the following
page!]
The next morning, November 18, 2009, I found
a surprise in my mail-box:
Haim Saban sat in his cockpick, while Immanuel was not on duty and
free.
Will this lead towards the manifestation of "My
Desire"on October 15-16?
October 15-16, 2009, Friday, Shoham
Desire that "MIKARO" may manifest
An Empire for advancing Self-Love
I am afraid, that by praising my son for listening to this "coincidence"
I might drag him into my old trap of the "tragic,
pathetic Petitioner"!
So, if nothing else, this is a chance for releasing a pain-based belief!
See
how I sculpted today's "DESIRE"!~~~~ November 18, 2009!
From:
Haim Saban [mailto:hsaban@saban.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2009 11:40 PM
To: Emanuel Rosenzweig (Mikaro)
Subject: RE: Mikaro - BE YOUR SELF. CREATE!
I like the broad idea,
but I believe that there are multiple sites out there in that
general area.
I would need to know a lot more, share w/my machers in this area
before I express a final view, so let’s reconnect once you’re
ready.
Tx for hosting me in the cockpit today ,vekol tov [Hebrew:
all the best].
Emanuel Rosenzweig to Haim
Wow, you are fast.
Yes, there are multiple sites (actually – thousands).
But even if I take the 10 best sites (according to my judgment)
– not even one is close to the description I wrote.
And of course – there is marketing (!).
Ask ANYBODY where can they buy a book online – most of
them will say Amazon (though there are so many other online
stores).
Will you get so clear and cut answer in our case?
In the US, Germany, France and Japan as well? I doubt.
Having multiple sites, dealing with crafting how-to, is good
for us.
It means that there is a potential. Huge one.
We "JUST" have to do it better, and put the right
weight on marketing.
I'm not arguing with you, just emphasizing.
I'll work on my presentation and structure the numbers, then
reconnect.
Of course, I'm always ready to answer any question.
Thanks (and of course, you are always welcome to our cockpit,
though we fly through the turbulences, not above:-).
Emanuel.
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On
Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 11:30 PM,
Emanuel Rosenzweig (Mikaro)
<emanuel@mikaro.net>
wrote to Haim Saban, a man of power-money-honor:
Dear Haim,
When you told us a little about your family, about the different
ambitions, the different interests, about the artists and the
business oriented family members, I thought: this is interesting.
Though I'm not fully ready to spread the word, this is an opportunity
I have to catch.
Entering the door you opened, I'll describe
a vision I'm already working on.
I'll try to write it as short as possible, hoping it will be
clear enough to give an opinion on and intrigue enough to hear
more.
I'll describe three aspects:
(1)
The Mikaro vision (from the pilot point of view)
(2) The playground I want to base my vision on (I always land
back on the ground)
(3) Some marketing directions - more as a teaser, less as a
strategic plan.
The
vision of Mikaro
Mikaro's website will be the
first choice for any creator or crafter,
who is looking for guidance, training, how-to instructions.
• The
first - like Amazon is for book (and more) purchase. Like e-bay
is for 2nd hand bizarre stuff.
• The
first in any country around the globe, in any major language.
The
playground
Challenge:
Though there are thousands of websites around the internet,
which teach how-to, and countless books, not talking about TV
shows - yet, it is really difficult to find good explanations,
specially in video, with companion printable materials.
Once you find one (yes, there are a few), you are limited to
one subject, one interest. And if you find a site with a variety
of creation fields - then the explanations are poor, not consistent.
If you were lucky and found something relevant and doable for
you, then finding the tools and materials is difficult and sometimes
even impossible.
Need:
On the other hand - creation is in our soul. No matter
how old we are - children or elderly. Creation is part of beliefs,
culture, personal development, therapy - and yes - fun! A lot
of fun!. Creation builds self-esteem, respect, satisfaction.
The feeling of fulfillment.
Rapid leafing through relevant mailing lists
and search keywords - reveals a map of millions over millions
of people, all over the world, looking for instructions, inspiration,
communication in the community, materials and tools - all for
the matter of creation in general, or specifically crafting.
Marketing
direction
• Mikaro will be a subscription website
(it is part of the business model and major factor of positioning).
• It will include
a very wide range of creation fields and a continually growing
number of projects to choose from.
• The methodology will be
consistent. You experienced one project (and enjoyed!), you
can be sure that the next one will be as good as the last one.
(The source of knowledge will be creators from all over the
world, but the templates and processing will be in Mikaro).
• Every project will be instructed using video, step
by step, no shortcuts. Printed material (template, stencil etc.)
will be provided along side printed instructions.
Even if the user won't create anything, it will be really fun
just to watch the videos. Like using cooking books (usually the
reader reads it all, looking at the photos, but cook 3-4 recipes).
• The interface will
be very clean, wisely lay-outed, focused on training needs only.
No banners and ADs.
• The interface will be very clean, wisely
lay-outed, focused on training needs only. No banners and ADs.
• The first phase
will be in English, but other phases will include translation
of every piece of audio and text to other languages (this will
be followed by dedicated campaigns in the relevant countries)
• Each project
will lead the user to a shopping list of tools and materials.
The user will be able to choose between printing the list for
outdoor shopping, or online purchase through Mikaro.
• Around the creation,
a community with personal aspects will be developed, so users
won't share the user-name and password easily base on that there
will be some different models of subscription:
°
Per project pay (no subscription)
° Single
subscription (different levels of payment)
°
Family subscription (the family members will get a notice before
the birthday of other members, or
any other event, with a list of projects they can create as
a present)
° Institutional
subscription. For example:
~ Hospitals
~Elderly
institutions
~Community
centers
~Schools
~Kindergarten
networks
Haim,
I appreciate the time you spent on reading this brief description.
My intuition said it might be interesting for you, so I dared
asking for your opinion.
Of course, there is so much more behind the scene. A philosophy,
experience, life time, people involved. There are much more
details above this introduction.
If and when the time will get there, I'll share.
Please let me know what is your first impression.
From your guts feeling. You have strong, proved business intuition
which is interesting me a lot.
Then, any feedback will be appreciated.
And please - be direct. Don't spare my ego :-)
I'm not ready for fund raising yet, so this
is not the issue at the moment. We are still working on strengthening
the strategy, the business model(s) and a building the
mockup of the site and
the training template.
But if you have future good directions, I'll be happy to hear
about them.
Thank you very much and I hope this will have
a continuation,
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What
I learnt about Haim
Saban,
You said once that you are a one-note person, and that note
is Israel. Why?
"You can't explain love."
It's really love?
"More than love. Passion. A love that is passion."
Please explain.
"When we approach Israel
I always ask the pilots of my plane to
let me sit in the chair between them.
We don't play 'Heveinu Shalom Aleichem,'
but when I see the coast coming up my heart starts to go boom,
boom, boom."
Is Israel also part of your everyday life here, in Los Angeles?
"At 9 A.M. I start with London and Kirschenbaum [Channel
10's evening current events program].
After that, throughout the day,
if I see something about Israel on one of the four channels
that are always on in my office, on mute,
I immediately turn on the sound.
And I have Israeli music on my computer, classics and contemporary
singers, too."
I read about the
event, from which Saban came to my son's cockpit:
but I couldn't find anything about the "Saban Forum"
or as he called it: the "Saban Conference for Peace",
which he, as he wrote, organized in Israel for the 7th time.
I
also read about Saban's three loves:
Israel, The Democratic Party in the US, medical philanthropy
ON
one site
I saw a very moving photo of Saban with the following text:
Haim Saban (born 15 October 1944 in Alexandria,
Egypt) is a television and media proprietor.
With an estimated net worth of 2.8 billion USD, he is ranked
by Forbes as the 102nd richest person in America.
"I\'m a one-issue
guy and my issue is Israel."
"Saban is that most dangerous of persons, a billionaire
ignoramus and fanatic with enormous political influence."
As to the Haim
Saban website
- I am impressed with Saban's team,
which -according to the looks of its members - also includes
an Afro-American and a Far-East person.
About Saban it is said:
"Mr. Saban's
passionate devotion to the philanthropic and political arenas
reflects both
his wide breadth of interests
and his commitment to a strong relationship between the United
States and Israel.
Mr. Saban and his
wife Cheryl started the Saban Family Foundation in 1999,
which supports medical, children's and education programs,
including the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles, Soroka Children's
Hospital in Israel, .....
The Saban Family is on BusinessWeek's list of the 50 most generous
philanthropists in the US.
In 2002, Mr. Saban
founded the Saban Center for Middle East Policy at the Brookings
Institution
and he currently chairs its International Advisory Council."
After about 7 hours I
was ready to answer my son
attaching a photo of the
sculpture of today's DESIRE
November 18, 2009 - 3 PM, Israel
The most important sentence
in Immanuel's letter to us, is:
"In
any case, even if nothing will come out of this directly,
this is the first time, that I phrased something clear &
short,
while an influential person was the point of perspective.
This in itself is very important for me!" |
My computer in my room inside -
for seven hours
in order to create on this page with Lea Goldberg's song.
The pretty view through the window was worth a photo! |
|
The view behind Efrat is gorgeous at this
late afternoon hour today
Again
(see on Nov. 11) in the circle of creation for parents
and kids - with Dalit , the teacher (standing)
 |
Daughter and mother create separately
a chain of beads and a sculpture of papier-mâché,
but while daughter is absorbed by threading the beads,
mother is involved with the other parents
in a lively discussion
about the quality of the Democratic School at Shoham.
I myself, after having polished last week's earthen fairy
(it now has
to be burnt, then painted and burnt again),
responded to Efrat's quest
to form 47 little balls for holding candles,
which she later wants to combine to a heart
for Immanuel's 47th birthday in 2 months. |
On our way home:
The same perspective of last morning:
through the rectangular hole in the seat in front of her.
But Mika is tired now
(she also got the second shot against influenza today!)
and we both listen to a fantastic audio about Cinderella,
while Imma gets chips and falaffel balls for us to eat.
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