Self-Determination in "AU"

Tiny Stars in the Darkest Dark,
the need for the Maximilian Kolbe Myth.

The Franciscan Pater and militant missionary for the immaculate Mother of God in particular and Mother Church in general,
Maximilian Kolbe, Nr. 16670,
asked to replace another inmate, father of a family, who was condemned to die in the "Hunger-Bunker".
When after2 weeks other victims in the Hunger-Bunker had died off, but Kolbe was still alive, he was killed by an injection of phenol.

At the Execution Wall Pater Manfred, a part-time participant in our retreat, said: "There was not only unbelievable evil in Auschwitz, but also unbelievable good." His example was "Pater Maximilian Kolbe, who sacrificed himself." This example made me mad. Later I approached Manfred, and affronted him: "Couldn't you have taken another example? Like that of the brother of Leon Blum, the leader of the French resistance, who - when pushed against the Execution Wall - turned around, took his golden ring from his finger and handed it to the executioner: "This is for YOU!" Manfred: "Since there are so many Poles among you, I was asked to refer to this Polish hero. For me his sacrifice means, that he was able to love unto the end." I: "But why sacrifice! Don't we have enough of sacrifice! How would you, Manfred, feel, if someone sacrificed himself for you!" Manfred: "But isn't love always connected with sacrifice?" My reaction was sarcastic... coming down on this belief of his like a tornado. Later I made an effort to appease Pater Manfred and to learn about him and his precious work. He has been living and working in Auschwitz for 13 years now, in the catholic Center for Dialogue and Prayer, (which balances the "Center for Youth Encounter", in which we stayed and which was founded by the Protestant "Action for Atonement") . But it was only during my solitude in Harmeze, that I understood, why Kolbe was THE hero of the Poles' Auschwitz. His behavior was an act of dignity or self-respect or self-determination or inner freedom, and that's why he became a symbol. When I talked at length with Pater Staniswov Stoj, viewing the symbol "Kolbe" in Marian's interpretation on so many of his paintings, he took the words out of my mouth: "It was a miracle! The Nazis could have simply said: "Oh, you want to go to the Hunger-Bunker? We'll just take you along too." In which case he would not have saved that other man, but thrown himself into his death by his own act. Which Jewish or non-Jewish mother would not have gladly died for her children, had she be given the chance? The madonna - carved by an unknown prisoner - on the brochure of the Harmeze monastery : is she really saying - you must love until sacrifice? My God-Mother is saying something else...

Since I was a deeply dedicated Christian in my childhood,
and in 1997 took back my Christian name Christa,
thus demonstrating that I am responsible for the Christian ...

I allow myself to affront the belief in self-sacrifice.
The following words in "Right Use of Will" totally and wholly resonate with me:

"There is a judgment that the one denying self in favor of another is in the spiritually superior position.
It is no longer appropriate-

In a documentary about September 11, on which more than 300 fire-fighters "sacrificed their lives" for others, Tony explains the need to feel worthy as the motive for self-sacrifice:the The firefighter Tony: "I wanted to do something I was able to live with for the rest of my life, this I can live with. A lot of the guys feel that way. You get up in the morning and look into the mirror and say: you are doing something with your life." "You do the job, you risk your life, to help others." It's only a matter of time till they have to put their lives on the line, so they wait and they wonder.

There was another Franciscan Pater, not less trained in Christian values. The Sinti-and Roma Museum shows his picture and says: "The Franciscan priest, Miroslav Filipovic, deputy commandant of the camp of Jasenovac / Yugoslavia, murdered Roma prisoners with his own hands."

But in the case of Saint Maximilian Kolbe something else is valid:
It is, what Marian calls:
"For the camp is not just beating,
not just death from work beyond human endurance,
not just a slow physical death,
constant hunger,
lice.
It is also a silent, interior NO,
a rebellion within the limits set,
an endurance to spite them all. "

Or in my own words:
Kolbe's deed was a sign of self-determination and self-respect,
and this sign was it,
what helped those who watched him and still watch him,
raise their hedas.

IN those first years, after I had "come in touch" with AUschwitz-BirkenAU,
I also learnt about Sophie Scholl and her companions of the "White Rose".
[see now, May 11, 2010 on the SongPage "'tis-the last rose of summer"]
These few students and their professor in Munic in 1943 knew,
that they had no chance to escape death,
when they distributed their flyers all over the campus.
They too sacrificed themselves for the whole nation.
And if not for them -
I, Christa, could not have raised my head in 1959 and onward.

The vital question is,
why do we let our situation deteriorate to an extent,
that "self-determination" does no longer imply "change of the situation",
but only "resistance", in what ever violent or non-violent way?

There are very few examples in the history known to me,
where "resistance" succeeded in defeating the oppressor.
It's a physical law: what I resist, persists.
[Oct. 7, 2009, this is explained in ever so many versions in "Abraham's" "Law of Attraction"]
When I apply force, be it ever so subtle, non-physical, I strengthen the one against whom the force is applied.
It strengthens me too, yes!
And that exactly is the great value of resistance in times when true self-determination,
which is the transformation of a negative dependency into a positive dependency
is no longer possible.

Right on this day - 2003_11_24 - it let's me doubt my own self-determination,
when I watch, how impossible it seems to be to win over partners
who would work with me on "Noah's Vision".
"Everyone has his own agenda, his own peace and ecology projects",
I was told this morning, when I again wanted to recruit a potential partner.

It is with some envy, despair, and not-understanding,
that I read a friend's drama about the Uprising in Ghetto Krakov,
given to me before I went to see the location in Krakov itself,
and the photos of the leaders: Shimik and Gusta.

Why is it only - I say it again -
when true change of the exterior situation is no longer possible,
that people give up all their own agendas,
be they personal, or be they for a cause,
and stand together and act together and die together????
Why can't self-determination and self-respect
be expressed in getting out of oppression
by transforming a negative dependency
into a partnership?
Do we have to wait for another AUschwitz-BirkenAU,
another apocalyptic perpetrator,
until we actualize self-determination?