2001_06_27
Mother Pages
Stories of the Mother:
Heart of Stone
Channeler:
The Mother is in Hell and her
Heart has turned to stone.
The Stone of Earth is the Heart of the Mother.
Earth Stone is the Mother's petrified Heart.
"The fact that my Heart turned to stone
should indicate to you
how much damage I have sustained there.
Immobilized by terror, overcome by shock,
my Heart turned to stone.
I was petrified and my Heart has reflected this."
Channeler:
Grief stricken, deeply saddened, quivering lip, flowing tears,
with confusion and torment on her face,
the Mother drifted backwards in space.
Like a space ship whose engines have failed,
disabled without the life-force of her Heart,
she drifted helplessly out of control,
slowly through the rank and file of all of us,
she drifted farther and farther away from the Godhead...
into the unspeakable tortures that lie in wait for her in the
darkness.
"I watched in horror as my
Heart condensed.
Starting in the core,
ridge upon ridge calcifying
from the intolerable pain of abject terror
combined with the rejection of love.
I wasn't loved by anyone or anything in this Creation.
"I felt like a paralyzed
victim of my own Heart.
It's weight threatening to drown me like a
rock-filled bag of unwanted puppies.
I felt calcification delivering death to my Heart.
And I have been dead there ever since.
The formation of minerals and striations are
the inarguable signs of my Heart's compression.
They are my wounds and scars, and they run deep.
Veins that once pumped life-force calcified into hardened arteries.
"My Heart is so cold,
yet I still have compassion for it
as I know it was never a Heart of stone in the beginning.
But I am the only one who has compassion for my Heart,
for I am the only one who knows the truth.
I am the only one who knows what happened to my Heart.
And I am the only one who knows how my Heart
feels.
"Some
of you share this compassion,
seeking communion with my Heart,
exploring me through the caves~ the walls of my Heart.
Honoring some of my crystallized tears expressed in the dark,
unknown to most.
"Others of you blast away
at me, pick at me, gouge and scrape my surface,
marring me with your graffiti -
spewing your contempt for my Heart for all who follow to see.
You have no honor for my Heart.
"I have given you many jewels
with which to behold the beauty and splendor of my Heart.
Beckoning, hoping you would heed my call,
hear my Heart in yours.
I thought maybe I could attract your attention
by sparkling irresistibly in the darkness of my treasure chest.
I hoped you would open your own Heart in recognition of mine.
I hoped you would finally be able to see my beauty
and that perhaps you would then deem me beautiful enough to love.
"But alas, you missed my point
~ at least most of you.
You have used the jewels of my Heart to adorn yourselves.
Finding yet another way to use me to gain acceptance
for yourselves -
denying me yet again. Ignoring my pain.
"I have been so 'pretty'
for you.
And you have not seen me there.
I have sparkled and glimmered and glittered for you.
Pathetically begging for your love and attention.
Trying to show you how rare and precious I really am.
But in your fascination with the fragments,
you have once again lost touch with the bigger reality.
"You have all been so cold
towards me.
You all passed judgment against me
when you watched me drifting past you,
helplessly, aimlessly, powerlessly.
I saw your icy stares of disgust for me.
You deemed me pathetic.
All of you disowned me then.
All of you seeing me through the denying eyes
of your Father.
Not one of you made a move towards me...
no offers of compassion, no pleas for mercy on my behalf.
You all watched me drift like a dead rock out into cold, dark,
lifeless space.
"Everyone of you have business with me.
You each have to take ownership for your choices there.
You all have to reconcile with me and my Heart.
But I must accept that reconciliation with me must come from me,
for me, first.
There cannot be reconciliation with you until I have reconciled
with myself.
This is a journey I must walk alone.
I have hated myself for so long.
You have had no acceptance for me
because I have had no acceptance for myself.
I must find love for myself.
I must find acceptance for myself.
I must learn to forgive myself.
And by my example, then may you follow.
"To reconcile with me
you must reconcile with your Self and your own Heart.
If you want us to be together in New Heart's Creation,
then here is where we begin~ in your Heart."
Mother
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