Edited Godchannel/heart

Introduction:
What was the conscious reason for this journey -
as differentiated from its "purpose in my drama"?

In Dec. 2009 I got an e-mail from my young friend Irene (45),
to whom I owed such vital support during "Nebo-let-Go"2006.
This time it was her, who needed urgent and vital support...
In time I understood, that we needed to meet - face to face !
After some non-feasable ideas I proposed to meet in France,
i.e. neither in Israel in my home nor in Germany in her home!

At that time - and even now, Sept.2010) I was so moved by Giono's book,
"Que ma joie demeure", "May my Joy stay-on", see below
that I longed to actually live and walk in the spaces of this novel.
By then, May 2010, Irene had already booked a holiday house in Ireland.
It seemed natural, that I would join her and her two sons for 2 weeks.

We could have both figured out, that this would not work well:
a close-knitted family, mother and 2 sons of 9 and 12, and I....
In 15 years we had met only once for 3 days in Irene's home.
So many exterior and interior worlds were separating us!
But if not for this "SOS scream", which I imagined (!)
I would never have broken my holy routine in Israel.
Since my horrid experience in the Pyrennees in 2001,
I felt and feel no desire whatsoever to travel abroad.
Since 2001, I flew to Europe only twice,
once for joining a retreat in AUschwitz-BirkenAU,
and a year later, in 2004, for my sister Ursel's funeral.

After 6 days we found the way to part from each other lovingly,
but it took me another 8 days of being on my own and alone,
though in the most beautiful places with Nature and people,
till I grasped, why I had set up this scene in my drama at all.

I had to FEEL, that the Conditions-for-Heaven-on-Earth,
which I had "discovered" and applied all my life,
were ~~~~ conditions~~~~ after all!
"Grate-Full-ness, Zest-Full-ness, Full-Fill-ment".
In a situation which does not allow for the feeling of Full-Fill-ment,
and therefore also "Zest-Full-ness" will crumble and wither away,
I'm only left with Grate-Full-ness.
[See the sequence of The Wave of Gratitude in Sept. 2010, in Learn&Live 2005]
Why isn't this enough to feel pure Joy?
I don't know! But it is a fact! At least for me.

To experience and admit and confess,
that I do not yet know how to feel JOY,
and that therefore all I've invented to fulfil those conditions
are actually drugs,
this humbled me deeply.
I needed all my training in releasing judgments,
in order to womb, accept, embrace myself
and breathe-move-sound my feelings of "not-worthy".

In hindsight I can see ever more clearly,
why my Higher Self or whoever squeezed into the program
~~~ 4 days with Elinor and Herbert near Chartres in France.
The fact, that and how we met - against my desire - shows,
how little we know about what is truly beneficial for us.
[See Stacey's account about her holiday in Utah in "Wave of Gratitude"]
The two lovely people, Elinor my age and German,
Herbert 80, of German-Jewish background,
a far relative of Edith Stein
both living and creating a small paradise near Chartres,
not only dedicated those days to me with all their heart,
but let themselves be assisted and supported by me !!
in addressing long-standing unsolved, denied, issues!

This means:
the Cain in me intended to give to my friend and was refused,
the Cain in me did not even intend to give to these strangers,
but was received.....

As expressed in the 2nd stanza of a once popular song
I don't want a house for me with a field, a field
I don't want a house for me with a green field
for all my reward is your voice which answers, answers
for all my reward is your voice which answers with laughter
My voice sings, my voice sings
but you are an echo to him
halleluja, halleluja, hallelu
woe to the song, woe to song
if it doesn't have an echo
halleluja, halleluja, hallelu

Of course, I felt great grate-full-ness, zest and full-fill-ment,
when my hosts drove me for 2 hours to the airport in Paris!
In hindsight it seems as if I was "upholstered" for "Ireland"!

June 22, 2010
Ben-Gurion Airport, Israel
I felt touched by most of the posters of the Keren Hayesod along the walls of the airport.
They exemplify modern Israel's History.
About Keren Hayesod - United Israel Appeal
First launched in 1920, in a bid to harness and direct the solidarity and material resources of world Jewry
towards an unprecedented endeavor to build and sustain a Jewish homeland,
Keren Hayesod remains at the forefront of a Jewish world partnership
that continues to play a key role in developing and reinforcing the Jewish State.

In hindsight (July 21, 2010) this history of solidarity is in excruciating contrast to the history of modern "Palestine",
as I experienced it - one more time - through Suad Amiry's reading-event about her book "Menopausal Palestine".
This happened during the "Literary Festival Week" in Bantry, Western Ireland - 3 days before my return to Israel...

1930

1943 " For the sake of rescue and immigration ! "

1945

1946 "A special enterprise for rescue and immigration"

1952 "And YOU - have you fulfilled your debt to Emergency Tax?"

1945 "The foundation was laid, the roofing-beams will rise"

1952 " 'And his beauty shall be as the olive tree' Hosea 14:7
Keren Hayesod's blessing for the people and the state"

1950 "The youth for border outposts "

1950
" 'he shall become a great and mighty nation' , Genesis 18:18 "
One Million in Israel on to the Second Million,
Keren Hayesod for Immigration and Absorption

1938 Keren Hayesod sows, the Hebrew people reaps

1943 "Give a hand to rescue - appeal for mobilization and rescue"

1946 "For the rescue of the remnant"

1946 "Work and bread for every Jew in the homeland"

1945 "25 years of Keren Hayesod - the territorial committee "

1942

1950 "Day of Immigration and Settling - Keren Hayesod, Tel-Aviv, 2.11.50"

1950 "to settle the wasteland,
to close down the transit camps, to permanent housing,
Keren Hayesod, the United Appeal for Israel"

1957

Most passengers were scurrying to their next destination in the airport, but this one looked up to the wall as I did

1974

1990

1990

2010

It's intriguing, that during the last decades the text on the posters is in English, with a hardly visible translation on the bottom.

I am enchanted by the symbol of "we are all in the same boat"! Part of the Star of David is above the water and part of it below!

This is the last poster in the row:

Keren Hayesod
the United Jewish Appeal for Israel

looks back in pride
and turns forward to action
and to coping with the challenges
that are still awaiting
the State of Israel
and the Jewish people
in the future.

In addition to the support
for imigration and absorption,
the Keren Hayesod will continue
to work
for strengthening
the social periphery of Israel,
the development
of the Negev and the Galil
and the deepening
of Jewish-Zionist education
in the diaspora.

We are shaping our future.
Together.

www.kh-uia.org.il

Two from among other fascinating posters along the rolling tracks in the airport:

The El-Al plane to Paris - for which Immanuel got a standby-ticket for me - chooses to fly through Turkey and across the Bosporus between Asia and Europe

As "logo" for the sequence of 33 files
- till the last page of Godchannel, on which I found free space,
through which I want to go deeper into my travel experience,
I chose the entry-image to the home-page of Frederic Back.
The ecologist Back created an animated film to the story:
L'homme qui plantait des arbres
[see an English translation:The Man Who Planted Trees ]
by Jean Giono,
whose book "Que Ma Joi demeure" ["may my joi stay-on"]
[see quotes in my page about Rilke and Giono]
accompanied me, physically and spiritually,
towards and through my travel in France and Ireland.
See about Back's film
[In France, June 24, 2010, I tried to buy this DVD, but I was told that it was no longer available...]

Elinor and Herbert Eckstein

who live 2 hours drive from Paris
25 km from Chartres
and its cathredral

fetched me
from Charles de Gaulle Airport
in Paris.

We took a first break
in the Bois de Boulogne
trying to figure out,
where we could park
and where we could sit
on the ground
(Herbert is 81 of age,
and I and Elinor 72!)

The experience
was not so much
for sight-seeing
as for getting familiar
with each other

After all,
we had met at Arad
only a month earlier,

Inspired by "Que ma joi demeure",
I delighted in Nature's details:
a creeping-rising tree,
pretty compositions of mushrooms,
strangely colored leaves

Continuation of the photos of my journey to Europe in 2010, in the Godchannel file
Heart Pages-I Am Awakening etc.