Edited Godchannel/heart2

2000_06_18 - last update: 2008_06_05 [see Chronological Overview of the Godchannel files since 1997]
[Christa-Rachel Bat-Adam:
the Heart Pages do not present "messages from Deity" (always colored in red) as most other pages,
but present expressions of New Heart through humans]

Heart Pages
[re-studied on July 21, 2010]

Heart Pages Guide

Channelers' note: Welcome to this new area of the site.
Expressions of New Heart will be posted here.

- Psalm from Heart of Mother's Body
- Coming Home
- New Heart's Beloved
- Heart Daughter's Torch Song

Psalm from Heart of Mother's Body

Finally, it wasn't my prayer or meditation,
not fasting or practices or frowning concentration,
not spiritual exercise or breathing through my feet.
Finally, it was the way the sunlight fell upon the car seat
that coaxed me to allow you to enter in my eyes.
Normally so guarded, closed and shy,
my sudden invitation to you came as such surprise.
Yet there I found your loving in the place behind my eyes.
Not knowing what I wanted to, or might have liked to feel,
I let you catch me off my guard behind the steering wheel.

It was your bright love-clouds I drew into my heart.
Informed by loving light, I felt myself a star,
an inverted triangle rising to invite
your pyramid of loving cascade, kissing me with new sight.
Of my breast you made adoring pink desire.
I felt my joy-snake squirm around your tender fire.
Moving down, down into my stomach-heart, down into my gut,
gratefully, lusciously opening at your loving touch.
Down, down, love opening my opening love, out my opening place, down,
joyously, ecstatically through my legs into the ground.

I wanted to call it loving lust, but that did not sound right
to describe your love-opening of me.
"Yes, yes" was not enough to contain it most completely,
so I tried to say, "Oh, God" but that was a title, too formal,
like 'Captain', and not the way I felt,
so I said, "You, you" but that was too dividing, too split,
so I cried, "We, us, our!" but even that didn't fit.
"Love, love" came closer as I drank you without shame.
Your love-sun in my sky, I found your secret name
(which means, that-close-to-me)
and blessed you, "I, I, I..."

Coming Home

I am coming home
Home to my home in me
Old intimidating forms remain
Only as whispering shouts now - powerless

At last I can sense that I am the power here - ("I am right aren't I?")
Falteringly yet irrevocably & with increasing grace of balance - yet clumsy
as this sentence still,
Claiming my power and responsibility
For my manifest me, my Body, sensed, felt, thought about, danced, stilled,
moved, vibrating in sound and light, called, responsive, healing, youthing

New sense of the Father of manifestation in me
Building, guiding me, in friendship & love
Towards moving the terrified rage, the raging terror
Arising as I sense the Presence of my True Heart's Desire

Lusting, longing in adoration even worship of her
Is this the final recognition?
I've fooled myself with false true-loves
So many times before - and even they were true in their times

This is the time, the weekend, all signs point to now
I recognize her in me already
Bravely, truly, seeking to stay in balance
Approaching her in trepidation.......

Only Now will tell
Unfolding through true, healing cycles, rhythms of time
Enveloping us in the bumpy turbulence of our re - membering joy
At finding our lost-selves at long lost last.....

This my awakening dream - expressed
As I perceive it unfolding in my life, in me - subtly
Yet with increasing intensity;
Not that I couldn't deny it like before, if I wanted to

Just that, what with it manifesting all around me n'all
Still somewhat subtly, but with increasing definition

I no longer want to

I have chosen to live

New Heart's Beloved

I feel your Winks from deep in me
Reflecting in my eyes, I see
You have found Her where She is me
Thank you Beloved Grandfather

Now together, We Manifest
Heal the Whole for All Be Blessed
As New Heart's Desire Express
Thank you Beloved Grandmother

I remember who I was
And who I am now, yes because
I am you Here and you are Love
Thank you Original Heart

Now together, We Parenting
Will end all pain death suffering
To Dance the Beauty Healed-Whole Sings
Thank you Beloved Body

Torch Song

I stand alone in a void
Brimming to the rim with feelings.
From the soles of my feet
To the top of my head
Beams of energy surge through me.
Suddenly...
A single spotLight slices
Through the abyss on the stage of life.
I stand just behind the white gold Light
Trembling imperceptibly with fear.
I move to the Light
And I step in
Making it clearly apparent
I am wearing my Heart not just on my sleeve.
Nearly mummy-wrapped in shimmering emerald green
Only my slumped over shoulders are bare.
As I pull my lowered head up to gaze beyond my tiny space,
I note a sea of colors visibly surrounding me-
Brilliant Reds, Oranges and Yellows
Bright Blues, Indigos and Purples.
Each one pulsing and quivering
Just on the verge of vibrating their wholeness.
I withdraw to my inner side
Touching an array of denied feelings,
Remembering instantly why I am here
I do have an assignment.
From the depths of my soul
Stir emotions deeply hidden within.
They must have expression
Of this I am certain,
Although something in the darkness
Seems to want to hold me back from allowing them to move.
An urgency comes up and I grab on with tenacity to my intent,
Then I call in support from the Originating Source
For She holds the power to break me free from that something in the darkness.
In an instant with firm resolve as my companion
My lips part slightly and a breath escapes.
As my mouth opens with courage
My song flows upward and outward.
And though there are no words
It manages to touch a place of stark sadness
And represents a grief unexpressed up until now.
As the song expands from a low moan to a vociferous howl
I am joined first by a whimper that then crescendos
To a harmonic wail bursting forth from that ocean of color
Just beyond my reach.
Time stands still while the mood becomes intense.
When the final note is uttered
I am covered in a golden hued green
My shoulders no longer slumped but now straight.
I note the colors just beyond me
Now vibrating in near fullness
Glimmering on the outside
With a golden halo cloaking each of them.
I sense we are now united by a new revelation
Because my feelings tell me so.
We have just unlocked a special door
Where within lies more deeply buried emotions,
Those of rage and anger.
Because we just sang a chorus of release
We are free to take another step to freedom.
So, as we descend to begin moving the rage and anger
In much the same way we just moved the sadness and grief,
FinallyI accept my assignment with joy and less fear,
Viewing it as an evolving journey
To an extraordinary healing
That emerged from my Heart
Stirred by the remembrances of leading that emotion-expressed first
Torch Song.

Heart Pages Guide

June 23, 2010 - still in Maintenon,
I was extremely stingy with using the two batteries which I brought with me for my camera.
Therefore those pictures which I DID take are truly extraordinary in my eyes..

A golf-park, to which many elderly people are flocking.
I'm overwhelmed by the green-green spaces everywhere.
In the back again a piece of the aqueduc

A man restores a window on the roof - and I become aware - in awe- of what people once created and keep on creating and restoring.
The spirals on both sides of the church tower, for instance!
Did I ever see such a device on a church or on any other building before?

Herbert (81) - always humorous...
with his two grandchildren,
Matthieu and Manon

I was extremely interested in both:
the business of "Les Ilots de St Val",
because of my Vision of what I call "Desert Hosting Economy",
but also in this facet of post-war family relations,
the more so as there is this family connection to Edith Stein,
whom I keep calling "my Siamese twin",
and from whose character and path I had to deviate so sharply

Kaethe Eckstein, the mother of Zwi Wiener (my neighbor at Arad),
was the sister of Erwin Eckstein, the father of Herbert.
Kaethe's and Erwin's mother was a cousin of the mother of Edith Stein.
Erwin let himself be baptized, when he married a Christian girl.
Herbert, his son, was born in 1929 - a Christian.
This didn't prevent the Nazis from threatening Erwin's drug-and photo-store in South-Germany , in 1935.
Erwin fled to France, and just before the war, his (biologically Christian) wife fled there too,
with the two children: Herbert and Annie
Erwin's sister Kaethe and Franz [the parents of Zwi and Hans and Marion], fled to France,
from there to Switzerland, but there the police handed them over to the Nazis.
Kaethe and Franz perished, while Erwin and his wife survived in Southern France.
After the war they managed to buy a piece of land in the district of Eure&Loire,
near the village Villiers de Morhier

Herbert - a soldier in the French army came to Germany in 1952 towards the end of the French occupation there.
He went to visit people who were neighbors/friends of his parents in Germany before his father's flight to France.
The friends lived at Worms (known to Jews because of the oldest synagogue in Germany and the wise man Rashi),
It was their daughter Elinor, whom Herbert married.
Elinor was ready to follow her husband to France and to a chicken farm far from any city.

Elinor with her son Gerard, his daughter Manon and his partner Maria

Manon with her stepmother Maria

When in the early eighties the hard work on the chicken farm was no longer justifying the poor income,
Herbert and Elinor (Herbert's parents were dead by then) turned the piece of land into a caravan camping ground.
They had to win over one by one of their adjacent neighbors so as to get the authorities' permission to do that.
When Gerard had grown up, and spend some years in the army and in other companies, he joined his parents.
(His sister Corinne lives nearby)
In time a house was built on the ground, where he lived with his first wife Gillaine and his children Matthieu and Manon.
In fact, he still lives there, but now with Maria, whose Portugese parents had been long time laborers at the chicken-farm.
She married someone, with whom she lived in Germany, but he died and after many years she came back to Gerard.
She, too, has 2 daughters (and another one from her first mariage, in Germany), Melanie and Dennis (I forgot where they live).
I learnt even more than about the relations between the members , German-Jewish-Portuguese-French. of this intriguing patchwork family.
There is the difficult story with Herbert's sister Annie, who was a partner to the farm, until they had to divide the land and separate the business,
and the easy story with Herbert's sister Corinne with her children Rafael and Lucille (is this Rafael, husband of Maria, daughter of Fritz, another brother of Erwin?)

Les Ilots de St Val, 1989: Where Elenor and Herbert - following Herbert's father Erwin - opened a camping place for caravans

Les Ilots de Saint Val

I used to pass this corner before opening the door to "my" room.
Once I found it illuminated with this mystical, artistic patterns...

Chartres - First of three visits within 3 days, with the Ecksteins

[During a visit at Chartres 23 years ago, which I synchronized with my birthday on August 15, 1982,
a date, on which Catholics celebrate Maryam's Ascension to Heaven
I wrote a German poem, inspired by my participation in a majestic procession through Chartres...]

The first thing I saw in Chartres, was this street-sign: "Street of Bethlehem, Twin Town with Chartres since 1994"

This simplified maze in the lawn outside the cathedral is just a naive symbol of the sophisticated maze inside

It is already past eight in the evening: Lovely young people sit on the lawn next to the cathedral , play and sing

Elinor waits for me above the high wall, colored by the evening sun

One of the cathedral's towers is already illuminated. People sit on the wall and look at the maze

The almost full moon adds to the romantic, mystical atmosphere around the cathedral

"Je ne savait pas que c'etait si simple de faire son devoir quand on est en danger."
15 ? 1940, Jean Moulin
"I didn't know , that it was so simple to do one's duty, when one is in danger."
I may tell about the hero of Maintenon, also the hero of France - against the Nazis - on a later page.

Illuminated by night

Continuation of the photos of my journey to Europe in 2010, in the Godchannel file
Finding the Will the Heal