It's addressed to MY FEELING,
I mention those five, which still tend to terrorize me,
if I'm fine-tuned enough to even notice them!

Pressure-Pain, MY FEELING, Shame and Fear and Fury, I embrace you kneeling, like Rachel her Uri (*). Breathe,cry, yawn and tremble, sense my love, so gentle! Do not judge yourself, Fear, Let's grow in my womb, Dear!

Rachel [1890-1931] was the most famous poetess among the first Zionists.
She lived at the Lake of Tiberias and yearned to have children, like the Biblical Rachel.
A poem, in which she dreams about a child, which she would call Uri,
has become especially famous,
after the singer Achinoam Nini put it on her repertoire.
[The beginning of the song can be heard on "israel-music"- 4th song]

From the website
Healing to Wholeness


Driving Backwards

Healing what has already been hurt in us
is much easier once we stop hurting ourselves.

There are two major ways we continue to hurt ourselves
­ making judgments,
and
trafficking in the future.
Thinking about,
worrying about
or being anxious
over what may or may not happen in the future
can make us feel bad,
and take energy away from where we actually are
­ the present moment.
It's only here in the present that the healing work can be done,
it won't happen in the future.

Godchannel: From God's Page
"Another, perhaps more useful metaphor is
that we have been on a long bus trip through Creation.
Like the bus which you drive
in the way you do
through your own life,
I am the driver of a larger bus
and you are aboard. ........

"You will begin to notice little differences in your life
as you make your way toward the front of the bus.
As you move closer to me
you'll notice more synchronicity
and deeper meaning in events.
There'll be more things
that go well for you,
and a growing sense of wholeness in life.
Your senses will expand with richer colors,
more melodious sounds and deeper feelings.

"There may also be what seem like misfortunes.
I must tell you
that the road immediately ahead is quite bumpy,
and it may also feel a little like a roller coaster.

"The secret here is not to stay rigid in your seat,
but to rise and allow yourself to be loose and flexible.
You want to be light on your feet
and move with the changes
so you can stay in balance
as you make your way forward.

"The easiest and quickest way to do this
is to release your judgments.
If you haven't already been to the page on judgments,
I invite you there now.

The practice of driving backwards
can make it much easier to be fully present in the moment
­ by 'turning around' and bringing ourselves back from the future.
Over the centuries extensive conditioning has trained us
to focus on the future.
The culture has taught us to 'look forward' and 'plan ahead.'
There's been tremendous importance placed on trying to guess
what the future will hold,
and emphasis on doing things
to help make the future safer and more abundant.

All of this preoccupation with the future assumes
that we are not already inherently safe and fortunate.
Fear of harm
and fear of lack
have been driving our culturally conditioned obsession with the future
­ forward.

Driving backwards means we're still moving forward toward the future,
but turned backwards, not looking to the future.

Driving Backwards

"If you would like to learn a better way of driving,
I'll share a secret and show you
how I am positioned here at the front of the bus.
I am facing backward.

"Yes, I drive backward.
I am certain that our destination is wholeness,
and I know all roads lead there.
I cannot second guess which turn will be for the best.

"In not facing toward the future,
I follow the deepest guidance available,
the miracle of Creation itself ...

Creation is a result of the Light that issues out through me
and is captured by the Mother.

Ahead of me there is nothing.
Behind me is everything, all of Creation.

"If I was facing forward
I would not be able to see anything,
I'd be staring into the Void.

Facing backward, however,
I experience all of Creation
streaming out behind like the wake of the swan,
or the flow of a river where I am the source.

"As I evolve through time, Creation evolves with me.

There are two great advantages in doing this practice.

First, when turning away from the future
we very quickly return to the present moment.
Becoming fully present in the one, eternal 'now'
is the aim of most spiritual practices,
and a great advantage in doing process work.
This is especially true
when dealing with material
at the deeper levels of personal and transpersonal process.

The other advantage in moving forward
with our backs toward the future
is that now we're able to see the past more clearly.
The past is a vast memory bank
of valuable information
about what's worked and hasn't worked in given situations.
Looking toward the past gives us the advantage
of not only our own learning experiences,
but also what we know
of how others have managed in similar circumstances.

"Facing backward as I am has several advantages.

"First, you more easily stay centered in the present moment.

"Second, you automatically find the grace in the 'flow' of Creation
and move toward the center of it.

"Third, you resonate more closely with me,
making it easier for us to communicate on the inner planes.

"Fourth, you get good practice driving your 'bus'
the way it was meant to be driven.

"Facing forward toward the future and the Void
has two disadvantages.

"First, it prevents one from participating in Creation,
which is always happening here in the present moment.
Looking toward the future sends energy out ahead
that creates resistance to the flow of existence,
taking one away from what is and making life more difficult.

"The second disadvantage of looking to the future is
that it prevents one from appreciating and using
what is and what has been, Creation itself.

Here's how it goes for me.
I know that my destination or goal in life
is my complete wholeness.
But I don't know the specific steps it will take to get me there.
My conscious mind is only a part of me,
and not capable of figuring out
the step-by-step process of healing to wholeness.
I realize that for this journey
to be as quick, easy and painless as possible
I need to relinquish conscious control,
and allow deeper, unconscious resources to guide me.

So in my mind's eye,
I'm driving backwards through life on my journey to wholeness.
The view is like being in a train seat that faces backward,
or the backward facing seat in an old station wagon.
As I watch the scenery of where I've just been
go passing by,
it's as if I have an imaginary plate on my lap.

Every so often something comes onto my plate
that at first I don't know how to deal with.
However, by driving backwards
and looking toward the past
it's easy to see
what I've done before in similar circumstances.
I can review my successes and failures
and learn from the past.
When not focused on the future,
it's a lot easier
to draw on past experience
for guidance
about what to do in the present moment here and now.

The present moment is the only time there is.
The future is a mental fabrication
that each of us fashions for ourselves.
It's made up,
with the illusion of existence,
but in reality the future is only
what our minds imagine it might be.

Nothing will ever happen in the future.
The present moment is the only time anything can happen.
Being more present,
we have more resources
that we can use in the healing work
as we evoke the loving, resourceful, parental healer part ourselves.
Being in the present is much more resourceful
than being split between a mind
that is in the future
­ and a body and emotions
that are in the present.

This is not to say the future doesn't have value.
It's very helpful for setting events
and planning to do things.
There is a practical use of the future, and that's not at issue.
The issue arises when we dwell in the future,
being fixated there
as if our thinking and worrying about it will somehow improve it.

Because the ancient 'look to the future' imprint
is so strongly held in our conditioning,
it may take a little practice
to get good at this new way [of?] being.
The essence of the practice is
to simply catch yourself
whenever you find yourself
thinking about the future
­ and then 'turn around' and drive backward.
Each time you catch yourself in the future,
just do this practice,
and of course release any judgments
that may come up about not already having done it,
or not doing it 'right' or 'every time.'

Here are some signs that can alert you to being in the future:

1. A feeling of anxiety or worry.
Anxiety and worry are only possible
when the future is invoked in consciousness.
These are fears
about what may or may not happen sometime hence,
but not right now.
If I look around where I am
and I find that I am safe now,
I know that my fear is being generated by thinking
about what may or may not happen in the future.
Here's where I say to myself,
"Aha! I'm in the future."
And then I turn around.

2. Any feeling of uneasiness.
If we are fully present,
we find either our comfort in the moment,
or the pain or the joy.
An uneasy feeling
will almost always lead to the realization
that you're in the future again.

3. There is a lot of thinking.
Attending to the future requires thought,
and this takes us away
from feelings and intuition.
An overabundance of thought
is a sign to see
if futurizing is happening too.
If so, no problem,
just turn around
and release judgments, if needed.

Driving Backwards Under Guidance

Driving backwards
flies in the face
of any need to 'control' what will happen.
In driving backwards
we're trusting ourselves and the universe,
and that following along with the natural flow of things
is the path of least resistance
­ the easiest, quickest and least painful way
to wholeness.
Even so,
a reliable source of inner guidance
can make driving backwards even easier.
Not only are lessons from the past
more readily available in the present moment,
but we're also more attuned to our intuition.

Inner dialogue with 'the Folks'
[compare the page on Godchannel
Channeling Class Introduction and Interview with the Folks

or a similar source of deep wisdom and understanding
is an excellent way
to develop a clear and deep intuition
for moment-to-moment decision making.
Asking for advice
and then acting on what has been suggested
is the quickest way to develop this faculty
as a guidance system for backwards driving.

Trusting in the basic goodness
of the universe and our own intuition
is all we need to turn away
from expectation and disappointment,
become free of the future
­ and stop hurting ourselves
with unnecessary anxiety, worry or fear.
Whenever there's a question of what to do,
inner guidance is far better than 'the future'
when looking for an answer.

"There is much to harvest from the past,


and standing firmly in the present,


you can reel it all in,


make it your own.


Each event in the past has been an essential step


in bringing us to where we are now.


And where we are now is always the present moment.

"This moment now


is the farthest into the future anyone has ever been,


including me.


Savor it now and use it


to bring yourself to wholeness


by reclaiming all of the essence


you have lost to people and situations in the past.

"There is an extremely important quality


that you will develop


as you practice driving backward.


TRUST.

"You have an exercise

that is sometimes practiced in groups

where two people get together

with one person standing behind the other.

The person in the front allows themselves to fall backward,

trusting that the person behind will catch them.

"This is very much like


what you will be doing


when you're facing backward,


only this time it will be me


that is there behind you.


Will I catch you?


Am I truly there?


Is there any point to anything?


These are the questions of trust.


The answer to these questions is

yes, yes, yes."