I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution in
learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!! "I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
Documentation of my "lekh-lekhâ
exercise" in October 2009 - scroll
down on each of these pages!
It was after heavy storms
and drowning rains,
on December 3, 2004,
when - in my tent on Rakhaf-
"water reached the soul" as we say in Hebrew
that I came to understand,
that I, too, deserve a flat,
security and comfort,
a flat for which I can pay
with my Old-Age-Pension.
Within one hour
this dream flat appeared...
It was the Eve of Shabbat "va-yeshev"
- "he settled" "and Jacob settled
in the land
where his fathers were strangers,
in the land of Canaan."
[Gn 37,1]
2011_05_31
That's how my castle looked like in December 2004.
Soon, Peretz, a man whom I had known through hitchhiking,
brought all my stuff from my son's home at Mazkeret Batya,
including mattrasses, which now would serve the veranda.
I had once retrieved them from a junk-heap at Modi'in
Within some months my landlord let paint the house,
and the sight was much prettier.
The computer corner - after 7 years looks
- quite the same, but it's not the same computer, and not the same loudspeakers,
and the paintings - my brother's "State of Israel", and Mimi's
"Hagar and Yishmael" have found a place on the wall above
my bed. Also the walls were re-painted by Ofir
in Oct. 2009, and since then there is this "upside-down rocket"
glued the computer screen
3rd of December, 2004
This is the little kitchen-corner, leading to the shower room,
sepated from the "living-bed-study-music room by the small
TV-set,
which I bought (!), when I lived in my tent in my daughter's garden.
I was independent, even with concern to the toilet,
but had electricity and therefore TV (no cables!) and computer.
3rd of December, 2004
When
I had to leave the Dead Sea because of the heat,
I left the cave intact, so I or any guest could sleep there.
Though for "general people" the cave is almost inaccessable,
for the thieves it was not.
After I had already moved into this flat, but hitchhiked every Shabbat
to the Dead Sea,
I was about to dismantle this lamp, which connects to the two dearest
people in my past.
Anyway there isn't any source of electricity any longer.
But something stopped me.
As if the cave without the lamp about my bed on the "second
floor" would be without value.
The next Shabbat it was stolen, together with my kerosine-lamp,
the tea-pot etc. etc. How did I find these shelves around
my mattress and how did I install them?
My "equipment-angel", whom I call "Ezriel" (God
is help), had prepared everything:
"Eckerstein" bricks in the garden, a huge door-board with
a mirror on my veranda,
two metal shelves somewhere else, which exactly fitted the head
of the mattrass,
the yellow scarf which belonged to an Indian "Salvar",
a
gift from Gabriela in India,
and the golden scarf,
a wedding-gift from my mother-in-law, Edith Rosenzweig.
I,
who never buy anything, no clothes and very rarely food,
bought the cheepest radio-disk-tape-recorder.
The 12 Volt one I had bought for my solar system at Metzuqee-Dragot,
was stolen from my cave with all the solar system. [this happened
right after I closed the last "Diary"
of Noah's Shore, in Febr. 2004]
I also bought two lampshades, one for the ceiling and one for
the desk,
the desk that Ra'ayah, my son's wife, had found for me on the
street.
Many things in my flat are, in fact, found "on the street"
...
I desired, that soft light would shine all over the beauty I had
created.
The main material in these shades is copper,
because it looks beautiful
and because it compensates for my very dear lamp, now stolen,
which originally served as a candle-bowl to keep tea warm on it,
and which in 2002 gave reason for a tiny sculpture in puzzle
piece 51
In Modi'in where
I lived from 2001 in a rented flat,
I converted the lamp into a 220 V kitchen lamp,
but in the cave I had solar power and 12 V DC...,
3rd of December, 2011
7 years later the apricot-tree outside the window is dead, but the treasures
on the desk are still the same,
with a little drawing of Mika to the right> The
Tape-recorder +CD discs + radio was discarded long ago. Who needs devices
likes this, when every music can be heard via Internet?
But for the casettes with their historic-nostalgic content - still to
be seen on the shelf next to the computer [s.above]-
I needed a walkman...
3rd of December,
2004
Over time so many books had to be given
away, or even thrown away,
because nobody wanted them.
Before I moved into my
mobile home
- which was, after the youngest of my three children was already half
a year in the army -
no scientific library wanted my 550 academic books,
so I gave them to the Tel-Hashomer Hospice for those Dying of Cancer.
Much pain is connected with the hostility I attracted in that hospice
in 1984...
I had wanted to help people die with wholeness in their soul....
Then again - during my first desert experience in Nov.-Dec. 1987 -
I buried 19 books in 19 caves,
always asking for a meaningful word,
before I put the book in a nylon bag, hoping that someone might find
it,
like they found the Dead Sea Scrolls of the Essene Sect after 2000 years.
I remember one book with lessons in French.
It opened at a picture of a sculpture outside a French cathedral ,
called The Last Judgment... not yet knowing then, how the God of "Godchannel.com"
interprets
this term...
I photographed all the caves and put together a neat album,
but it burnt to ashes together with my 20 folder archive about Succah-in
the Desert,
when the Abraham Succah and the Hagar Cabin caught fire,
following a leaking gas-bottle, Pesach 1998, 2 years after I had done
my "lekh-lekhâ"
Now among those books, I still need or want in my present life , there
can be seen the ones I wrote myself,
including the little one, my vision of a desert economy : Alt-Neu-Land
2003, which did not come true.
Above are the two covers of our RedSeaPartnerSHIP
guestbook, with their symbol of Partnership,
the prophetic photo with the Succah neighbor, my friend Hamdah, the
Bedouin ,
and Yael Gavish, whom I had appointed as my successor in the Succah....
Right to those two is a drawing of another prophecy,
which has to do with my Bir'am
Peace Project in the Seventies...
3rd of December, 2004
In Febr. 2004
the manager of "Orange Technical Services" came to the
cave,
but even he didn't succeed in connecting my laptop to cellular
Internet.
In July, on the first spot, where Sa'ar suggested to erect the
tent,
there was no cell connection at all, neither to the phone, nor
to the Internet.
But when, in September, "it" was decided,
that I move the tent somewhere else,
I was "rewarded" with phone and Internet connection...
3rd of December, 2004
"who will let me
fly, little winged bird, from my endless wanderings I want to rest
carefree"
3rd of December, 2011
Since someone associated the two rocks to a human behind, I glued the
picture above the loo.
There it still "protects me", after 7 years, together with all
the other treasures-
from right to left:
the pyramidal raft - which had to let go
of its cover, the model of a pyramidal tent, only yesterday [a
few days later I discovered both , placed separately next to each other
in front of the Cave!!!]
a ceramic boat, created by Arnon perhaps 5 years ago, which I use as
a chanukia,
the cherished postcare image - a man and a child roaring in a boat on
what I see as the Salt Sea;. two bags hanging above, one created by
me, one by Ra'ayah, Arnon's mother, my daughter-in-love,
next to a coat, bequeathed to me only a year ago by Efrat, Mika's mother,
also my daughter-in-love; next to Bialik's poem a chain, bought in
Old Jerusalem, when we still could visit there after 1967. Above desert stones and gifts from Hathra,
the Bedouin girl, and flowers I once found on the road,
stuck in what was intended for a Havdalah-candle,
created by the ceramicist Debby, who at my time in Succah-in-the Desert
tried her luck at Mitzpe-Ramon,
but I was almost the only client ! I let her make all the pottery ware
for our guests' breakfast and dinner,
and also beautiful plates for the Shabbat-candles and wine-cup, for
the Succah, for myself, for my children.
Last night when I lit my candles, I sent Debby my gratitude - she
couldn't make a living in Israel and returned to the USA. Below the window:
one of the few paintings I created myself - in my
tent at Metzoqe-Dragot in winter 1998-99
