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and further down 2012
the first pages of the Red Book from
among the
The
8 RIGHT USE OF WILL Books
2003_06_23; last update: 2003_07_01
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and further down 2012
the first pages of the Red Book from
among the
The
8 RIGHT USE OF WILL Books
2003_06_23; last update: 2003_07_01
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Later it should have replaced the idea of a SHIP in the "RedSeaPartnerSHIP-Game"
1997_12_14
NGO "shutafut"
/ "Mushaarakah" / "Partnership" The RED-SEA-PARTNER-"S
H I P "
1. General Information a. "Partnership"
presently musters its force and resources b. "Think
globally, act locally!" c. "Partnership"
chose the project of a "RED SEA PARTNER- S H I P " d. "Partnership"
is in search for Jordanian partners,
2.
The Project b. On the SHIP
simple dwellings will be installed, c. The fact that
the SHIP will be on the border d. The fact that
the SHIP will be exactly on the border Each partnership
is based on three conditions: e. In the beginning
the SHIP will serve as a situation for meeting; f. The SHIP will
also serve as an experimental model for the free passage of citizens,
3. STEPS THAT HAVE BEEN TAKEN: a/ The pyramidal
tents for the SHIP were built and erected at the beginning of this month
b. The FOUR NATIONS
TENT serves as a "performance" of part of the project, c. We achieved
the beginning cooperation of the municiplity of Eilat, d. We also got
the consent, in principle, e. There is a
precedent for a free exit from Israel:
4. STEPS THAT HAVE TO BE TAKEN: a. The SHIP:
2. The SHIP (barge)
will be adapted to the project 3. The SHIP will be towed and anchored at the intended site in coordination with the relevant authorities.
b.
Licenses;
April 1998
It was then, that we started to search for a little
Katamaran, to turn it into a model of how the raft would function.
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The seventh, 7th RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1995] 7 IMPRINTING A Healing of the Chakras Dedicated to The Healing of the Gap and the Survival of Love |
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p.25 I have many versions of this to tell,
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p.26 and not gloss over it. When I first told the story as though it was only colors dancing to please Me, I was having orgasms there already. That is what was causing the explosions. It was very immature sex though and I did not know I was having it. I was just feeling good and floating in the reveric aftermath of the orgasms without questioning, or letting Myself question, the rightness of the wrongness of feeling good. I wanted to feel good, and that was all. I did not know that I needed to assimilate this lower part into Me more and understand it more. I was enjoying the sensations there without assimilating what it meant or anything more about it other than that it was pleasure. When the Mother wanted Me to take responsibility for the progeny coming forth, I did not know what She meant. I only knew that I wanted to go into those feelings and move that way. I thought I was receiving the lower part of Myself and assumed it was receivng Me. I thought I felt it and that I knew all I needed to know there. I assumed it had the same ability to know Me. I handled it on My terms and did not understand that there were any other terms. When it did not demonstrate the same intelligence I had, I judged it to be inferior and its ways not to be as good as Mine. I liked Myself and the way I moved there. I did not let anything interfere, get in My way, or slow Me down. When My lower part did not want to move ahead into these feelings with all of the eagerness that I did, I judged it to be of a slower speed in its ability to receive, feel and understand. I now know I was a not knowing there [sic] that was like the difference between a lover and an adolescent rushing ahead because he's wild to release the pressure of sexual frenzy and can't think of anything else until he has done this, but I did not like anyone or anythng else telling Me what to do, and so I did not listen to input from any other parts of Myself. I did not know how to handle My own physicality there, but I also did not notice that My physicality could have had any knowingness that could have helped Me there, or that the other voices I had been listening to did either. I felt they all must not be feeling it as intensely as I was, or they could not be telling Me to hold back and go slower. Instead of being made to feel wrong, I wanted to make Them wrong. It was partly true that They were not feeling it just the same as I was, had Their own point of view and that We were not able to get a mingling that resulted in an alignment there, but My feelings of sexual urgency pushed past Them with a rage that seemed to |
p.27
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p.28 never experienced this before. I assume now there must have been a Father, but He was nowhere around that I could see, and I did not experience Him as present either. I could not see anything. I only knew that I was because I had sensations, unpleasant as they were. In time, I grew more used to them and grew closely with My Mother who held Me with Her all the time. She felt like a warm mother to Me, although I am not sure if We had temperature warmth or compression there. At times, it was suffocatingly hot, and We could not move. At other times, we felt Ourselves to be falling, out of control and unable to move in any way to take control of Our situation. What has been described as pleasant drifting in the light by the Father was not Our experience there. We hated Our experience there. The Mother did not like it that She had brought Me into Her world to experience unpleasantness with Her, but she also let Me know that it was somehow better having Me there with Her than being there all alone. One of My earliest imprints was that relationship was somehow better, or supposed to be better than being all alone. I was not so sure, but I felt Her, and once I felt Her, I could not think of leaving Her alone in the experience She was having. I did not know if I was boy or girl, I had no thought of gender until the Father called Me son. I did not know what it meant even then, but I thought it meant I was supposed to be just like hIm, or at least to please Him, which I tried to do as much as possible. From the very beginning, He did not like Me displeasing Him with feelings that were not in agreement with His. I do not know how I got offered up to Him or placed in His care, but it happened this way according to My Mother. She had feelings in Her heart of lostness in dark space and wanting to find something to fill it or get Her to the right place where She would not have these feelings of compression and terror anymore. She grabbed for anything She might find, but was also very careful about doing this because She did not know what She might find and had already had so many experiences She had not liked. She had to move rage and terror, but She did not know it then. She did not know anything then, except that She was and did not like where She was, or maybe, what She was, since She did not know the difference among things then. She was very simple and primordial in most people's terms, but in Mine, She was the most exquisitely protective and loving thing I could ever imagine having near or with Me, and I hoped |
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p.29 She would not let Me go any place without Her, because if it was a good place, I wanted Her to be there, and if it was not, I didn't want Her to be there alone. I loved Her, in other words, and did not want to be without Her. Even though She could not always hold onto Me in Our drifting and tribulations, I knew She wanted Me with Her and tried to find Me anytime I was lost. Sometimes She thought I might be better off if I did not exist anymore and tried to let Me go, but She could not bring Her heart to do that. She fastened onto Me from the beginning and has never wanted to let go. I never wanted to have to go either, not even to move in with Father. When He came along, I was drifting in sleep as though it were night, although We knew no difference then between night and day. He saw Me and took Me as a man might take an infant from a mother he does not think is properly caring for it. He never saw My Mother or even knew She was anywhere around. He did not notice Her or know that He had ever known Her, had sex with Her, produced a son or even that there could be such a thing as a son produced from what He had been doing there. My Mother does not know how He felt about Me from the beginning. She knew only Her own grief over My loss and Her hope that if I was gone, I had gone to a better place or somehow found one on my own. When She had thoughts that I didn't exist anymore, She hoped that was somehow better and that I had somehow made that choice. She really hoped I was not in a worse place where She could not find Me. She worried and fretted over Me most of the time, even more than Her own plight. She was so empathetic She could not imagine how I could be suffering the way She was and possibly live through it, or how She could if I was suffering. I was with Father, or I assume He was My Father since He recognized Me as His own, and so much so that He did not see Me as any different.When I tried to tell Him that I was, He told Me that He did not like hearing that and did not want Me to speak of it anymore. "I know what is best,' He told Me, "and You need to move along with Me." He did not give Me any chance to explain anything to Him. He said He knew it already. I assumed that it was My time to be with Him then, and that He knew what He was doing and that it was for the best somehow. I did not know what was going to happen, but I liked the light and moved to please Him as much as possible. I thought my |
p.30 Mother must know about this since She was always wanting Me to get to a better place and that She had given Her permission somehow, but My Father never spoke of this and I never felt I was allowed to ask Him either. I hated to have Mother out there without Us, especially since the light was so pleasing. I was constantly urging Father to notice Mother out there, but He never seemed to want to notice and said He was overwhelmed with what He had happening already. He gave Me the impression that it was not right time for Mother yet. I could not understand why, or why She hadn't said goodbye or told Me any of this. I saw Him collecting pieces He thought were Him, though, and the light was increasing. Why He didn't collect Mother, I did not know and I did not dare ask. "Right time," He always said whenever I did. I did not know when right time was, but I could not understand why it wasn't now. Now was when I felt an urgent need for my Mother, and He did not seem to notice or care. What was He going to do? Have me grow up without a Mother who I could remember and who could remember Me? Why didn't He remember Her, or care about Her, or move toward Her? was something wrong? I began to question Him and to pressure Him, in His words, to move toward Mother. I was sure She was out there somewhere and that He had only to look for Her. He did not seem to want to, and I wanted Him to not only look for Her, but to want to look for Her. She was darkness, or in the darkness, I kept telling Him, and He did not like the sound of that. I hated HIm for not looking for Mother and pressured Him more the longer this went on. He had his own ideas about things, and My ideas about progression were not among them. He hated Me for even having these feelings, and I did not know what to do then because I did not know how to find Mother either. I just had a feeling that She needed to move in close there with Us,and I did not have a feeling of completeness or peace without Her there. I knew She would love the light and have many things to say about it that We could share in Our relationship together there. I urged Father as much as I possibly could to go and look for Mother, but He never moved until Heart from the Will side called Him forth. I never saw Him get excited about anything until He saw those colors dancing before HIm. I got very excited too because I had a mate for Myself in mind and thought this might be Her. I started |
p.31 to move past Father to go to Her because She had Me convinced She was calling Me. I thought She might be Mother, but when I got closer to Her, I saw that She was not the Mother I had known and might be a mate for Me instead. I really got excited then. ["Oedipus complex"?] Had Mother been keeping Her for Me, letting Her grow and not letting Me see Her for some reason? I did not know what to make of Her, but when I saw Her move toward Me, She seemed to grow huge. I did not know I had done any growing since I left Mother. I had no concept of size, actually, until that moment when I felt so small in Her presence. She looked so great and grand, and I felt so small and insignificant. Majestic might be the word, except that that word is applied to queens, and I wanted Her to be a princess for Me. I felt as unworthy as any man trying to be a prince in the presence of his love, who happens to be a princess, or even a queen at an early age, since I did not know if Mother was alive and I did not see Her there. Where Mother was hiding Herself and why she was hiding Herself, I did not know, but I needed to move toward Her to find out. I wanted to ask these new appearances [why in the plural?] what they knew of Mother since they must have been with Her until they were so recently noticed by Us, but I did not want to give the impression that I was not interested in them. I sought only to seek their companionship and ask My questions later, but I never had the opportunity to find out anything. They had come forth in response to My call for love for Father[???] ; but I had been calling Mother, not them. They came in response to Me, I felt, but Father did not let Me find that out either. He went past Me and took Her in His arms like He knew He already. This completely confused Me. I did not know who I was or who She was anymore. I had thought I was going to have a mate and it was going to be Her, and now Father had Her. Maybe she was Mother after all and I had just never known Her that way. I did not know waht to think. I only knew I had lost My heart to this essence and now it looked like I wasn't going to be able to have Her and that it wasn't right for Me to have Her anyway. I had never been able to see how Mother looked when I was there with Her. I did not have eyes to see, or else there had been nothing to see. I did not think She had looked quite like this although not that different, either, in so many ways. My draw to this essence felt different than My draw to Mother, though, in so |
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The seventh, 7th RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1995] 7 IMPRINTING A Healing of the Chakras Dedicated to The Healing of the Gap and the Survival of Love |
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p.32 many ways I did not know how to explain. I had sexual feelings, but I did not know it then. I had been urging Father to go toward Mother, and then when He got close to Her I did not know if it was Mother, and I began urging Him to go slower and take more time. I wanted Him to get to know Her first and make sure She was the right one for Him. He felt already that this could not be wrong for Him if He liked it so much, but that was not enough for Me. I did not want to move past Him there, yet I needed to move past Him to find out if this was Mother or a mate meant for Me. I sound like I knew more than the Father here, but I was not sure, which is why I backed down to Him more than I wished I had later when I saw how things turned out. Mother did not like it when I fell to Her in a state of damage and heartbreak. She could not understand how Father could be so mean to His own son. That He did not even know I was His own son was more than She could realize or understand at the time. Mother was so upset with Father there that I could not move Her past that place. She had to see Father there with His new companion for Herself. She started to move up toward Him with a rage and a fury I had never seen in Her before, but then she tried to calm Herself to move through the places She needed to move through to find hIm. She said She never knew what had happened to Me and had been unable to find Me when She had awakened there so long ago without Me. She said Her heart had broken there over Me and had never been the same since. she said She never knew Her heart could hurt so much as it had over losing Me. I did not know what this meant given what I had seen and heard Father say and do so many times. Did this mean that I was Hers and She was Mine and not His? I wanted to ask Her this, but She was gone already in search of Father, whom she said She did not even know existed except in a dream. She said She had never known Him in a waking state and did not like it that He might have another woman when She longed for Him all the time. She held Me for a long time before She went, though, and I knew this was the Mother I had missed for such a long time. We held one another and cried together of a long time too, that Father was so lost from Mother that We had never been able to have the home we had wanted to have there as a family together, that Mother had so many feelings of how She had wanted this family life to be and Father had no memory of Her or that He had had sex |
p.33 with Her or that He had children there, let alone a son like Me. [here begin the excerpts of the Red Book when I still hadn't got hold of the first 32 pages and also, when I still thought, that I would never manage to copy all the pages and that it was allowed to excerpt passages. I know now, that in order to really get into the feelings and memories and what all this has to do with me and my vocation for the world, I need every single word. I'm therefore complementing here, what was left out there. Sept.16, 2012] "Such a loving son,
too," Mother kept saying over and over until I began to feel like
Father might have left Her because He
just wanted Her to stop moving so much emotion and talking
about love so much. I hated to tell Mother that
I did not think it was right for Her to be pouring forth as
much emotion as She was, but it did occur to Me that She had
not been able to move past the place She had been in when Father took
Me so long ago. I wondered if this was why Father had taken Me and why
Mother had wanted Me to go, because She was not able to
move from this place. I hated this position now that I had known the light and was not sure if it was My right place or not. Pretty soon, I had an overriding need to go and see for Myself what was happening on the other side, Father's side that is . I wanted to go back to My place there and see how it felt. Now that Mother was found, I wanted to see if Father would listen to Me about Her. When I found Him, He had My intended in His arms alright, just as Mother had said. The color purple was all around them. He must have been savoring the light there because He wasn't acting interested in doing anything but drifting. I didn't know what to do. I felt left out and to the side thee. I |
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The seventh, 7th RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1995] 7 IMPRINTING A Healing of the Chakras Dedicated to The Healing of the Gap and the Survival of Love |
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p.35 highly suspicious of Her motives, as if She wants Me, and all who listen to Her story, to feel sorry for Her and somehow give Her another opportunity to get Me. And believe Me, She tells Her story to everyone who will listen. If I took You [Heart] from Her, I had My reasons, such as rescuing You from Her grasp; Her clutching grasp that never wanted to let You go, but I did not know I took You from Her. I did not notice Her there, and she did not notice Me, or I might not have let You add Yourself onto Me because I would have wanted to move away as quickly as possible instead. I did not like it that She had come toward Me, excited Me, led Me on and then refused Me at the last minute when I could no longer control My sensations and let them subside. What a cruel tease and torture! How shamed I felt when She acted so cool toward My spontaneity, My youthful exuberance, excitement and enthusiasm and My sexuality as though it was all a problem for Her! She did not look like fun was being had there until I came along. Why didn't She join into it? How enraged I became, a crying rage, really, when no sympathy was exhibited there, but I did not let Her know. I expected Her to understand Me if She was the right one. I interpreted Her hesitation as not loving Me the way I wanted to be loved there. I felt She was using Me for something I did not understand, I did not trust Her motives and I moved to leave. I did not let Her know though, I felt Her hooks go into Me at that moment, and I knew then that She had plans to involve Me in something I didn't want to be involved in, use Me for something I didn't want to be used for, take from Me something I didn't want to have taken or make Me give Her something I didn't want Her to have. I did not let Her know how I felt there, including that I had a sexual turn-on happening in response to Her there. I did not let anything I found unacceptable in My emotions show through. I had approached Her gently aand given Her time to find out how She felt about Me. All the while, My excitement was growing and Hers was too, I thought. Why had She rejected Me, set Me up, played Me for a fool this way? I did not understand, and since I did not trust Her enough to want to let Her know how I really felt, I did not ask Her. I was sure I knew, and besides, I could not trust Her to tell Me anything truthful; not when it was already clear that She would do anything to keep Me and not let Me go. She was going to say anything that would make Her look right and get Me to give Her what She |
p.36 wanted without giving
Me what I wanted. |
p.37 of the way about
why it wasn't the right set of answers or solutions I had given. They
never liked anything I had to say, in other words. [newly edited,
but [already
copied]I wanted to have sex
with Her, and they wanted to know if I was going to marry Her, make
a home there, stay and become a part of the family, help them and support
them for the rest of their lives and anything else they could think
of, if you wanted to put it in today's terms. |
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The seventh, 7th RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1995] 7 IMPRINTING A Healing of the Chakras Dedicated to The Healing of the Gap and the Survival of Love |
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16, 2012: The 1 hour dialog of the weekly "Sternstunde Philsophie" in 3SAT was dedicated - can I believe it! - to "a History of Feelings". What the scientist found out is far from the understandings I've been receiving from Right Use of Will and Godchannel.com in all these 26 years. But - at least - Feelings are becoming an issue for research. What I want to remember is what I've discovered myself: "Ich fuehle mich selbst. Ich bin", "I feel myself, I am", said in 1796 by the poet-philosopher Johann Gottfried Herder [1744-1803] in contrast to the so famous "Cogito ergo sum", "I think, therefore I am", by René Decartes [1596-1650], called "the Father of Modern Philosophy". |
Ich
fühle, also bin ich! Ute Frevert im Gespräch mit Katja Gentinetta [Vom Wandel der Gefuehlswelten] Dass Geschichte weit spannender
ist als das Aneinanderreihen von Daten und Namen, ist längst bekannt.
Mit der Gefühlsgeschichte ist nun ein weiteres Gebiet eröffnet,
mit dem Menschen noch tiefer in die Vergangenheit dringen können.
Denn Gefühle sind nicht nur etwas Privates, sondern in
hohem Maße von dem geprägt, was die Gesellschaft von den
Menschen erwartet. Ute Frevert, Direktorin und Historikerin
am Max-Planck-Institut in Berlin, erforscht die Geschichte der Gefühle
seit Beginn der Moderne. Und sie entdeckt dabei etwa, dass sich die
Epoche der Aufklärung mitnichten nur um die Vernunft, sondern genauso
um das Gefühl drehte. |
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On
the Eve of Rosh-Hashanah, September 16, 2012 I sculpted my response to post and dialogues from Sept.12, 2012 about "What are we fighting for" Before Immanuel, Efrat and Mika will come back from China, and share their photos from Yangshuo/Guilin, I'll insert a composition of their Galilee holiday in August.     
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The seventh, 7th RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1995] 7 IMPRINTING A Healing of the Chakras Dedicated to The Healing of the Gap and the Survival of Love |
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p.38 ....redeeming lost Will and dissolving Guilt |
p.oo ....redeeming lost Will and dissolving Guilt |
p.oo ....redeeming lost Will and dissolving Guilt |
