The Purpose  of   HEALING - K.I.S.S.

- as stated 12 years ago - was and is

  to help me and my potential P E E R s 

"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,

and - by extension - all of CREATion!"
Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013
and Overview of its main libraries

[If you look for a word on this page,
click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]

I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'

pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"



2009 -Scroll down - to read the inserts which exemplify My exploration of "Abraham/Hick's" teachings
about learning "Good-Feeling-Thoughts" , a concept which is complementing "Right Use of Will" and



About the books


P. 121-2
P. 66
P. 21
P. 102
P. 68
P. 36
In pp 14 I told how I encountered the Blue Book
Pages in Healing-K.i.s.s., on which all 8 books = 1731 pages [+the 2010 edition of the Blue Book, discovered in May 2013]- appear copied and graphically edited:
Intro I-VI   Intro VII-XI
p. 1-7
           p. 8-19
p. 12b-23     p.24-31
p.30-39        p.40-49
p.50-59        p.60-69
p.70-79        p.80-89
p.90-99        p.100-109
p.110-119   p.120-129

Intro I-XII
Intro I-III
Intro I-XIII
Intro I-V

Intro I-V
p. 206-215

p.33-93 (excerpts)
p.132-146 (excerpts)
p.147-155 (full text)
intro and first 30 pages
were missing in my book

but are now (Sept.13, 2012)
retrieved and inserted, together with the rest of the full text:

Intro I-VI + p.1-6
p.7-25 full text, including the "lost chapter" eliminated by the channeler and retrieved
p.25-37 (full text)
I understood, that the full text must be online:
p. 38-155 (full text)

June 20, 2013: at the end of the 2010 version of the Blue Book I find - together with the list of the 8 books - this recommendation:
"These books need to be read in order.
Getting ready for the sequels
involves moving along with the material in Right Use of Will enough
to know if this information is right for you.
These books let you know your Original Cause
by helping you access belief systems
lost in the subconscious long ago,
yet influencing our lives every da.

www.rightuseofwill. com

Listen to one exemplary and nourishing quotation from each of the eight RUOW books, either on this page above or below the fifth RUOW discussion in

THE BLUE BOOK - 1984- Content and Links - first inserted in 2003
Original INTRODUCTION (and principles
of editing the book on this site)

Right Use of Will........................................1
Clearing Illness and Habits.......................2

Free Will in the presence of Opposition..8
Limits on the Self......................................9

Discipline, death and Reincarnation
     Resulting from the Original Spilt
     of Spirit and Will................................12

Inner Listening........................          .. ...15
Judgment Release..........     ..      .........19
Realities Precipitating toward Earth   23
Emotional Release.............     ...     ......32
Right Use of Will as a Healing
   Power  for Yourself and Earth.     ....37

The Influence away from Free Will... .42
Denials shared by Many....    .. ............44
The Feminine Principle...........     .......49

Sex and Children................    . ...........50
Free Will between People...    .. .........55

Form and Graven Images..   .... ..........61

Acceptance...............  ................. 64
Twists and Turns on Judgments  68

The Land of Pan...........................74

Understandings on Denial..........118

Steps to Healing
     & Complete Recovery..    ....  127

Intimidating Form........................132

Version of 2010 [discovered in 2013, when my young friend Boris ordered "The Blue Book" for himself']

FOUR WINDS Publications

Copyright 1984, 1986, 2010,

Ceanne DeRohan-
All rights reserved...
Four Winds Publications
551 Cordova Rd. # 112
Santa Fe, New Mexico,
87505, USA


Healing and Evolving
the Emotional Body

by Ceanne DeRohan

Dedicated to the Earth

INTRODUCTION ...............................

RIGHT USE OF WILL........................1


LIMITS ON THE SELF.......................9

INNER LISTENING......................... 12

SELF................................... 15

FREE WILL IN THE PRESENCE OF         OPPOSITION.........................15

JUDGMENT RELEASE....................17

EMOTIONAL RELEASE................20



THE FEMININE PRINCIPLE.............................41

SEX AND CHILDREN......................................42

FREE WILL BETWEEN PEOPLE......................49


DENIALS SHARED BY MANY...........................55



THE LAND OF PAN............................ ..74

Last updates: 2005_01_12; 2011_11_01; 2013-06-21

from Godchannel :
"There is however, a body of work
that reflects many details of my experiences, thoughts and feelings.
It is a series of books called Right Use of Will.
Although there is no connection
between the channelers on this web site
and the channeler of the Right Use of Will books,
my message has a similar purpose.

"Here I am primarily addressing the spirit
in you.
In the Right Use of Will books
the message is
for and in support of the Mother
in you.

In both cases the purpose is
healing of the Gap
that still separates Spirit and the Mother
in you,
and all of Creation.

"There is no other source of 'outside' information,
including this web site
that offers such a rich mixture
and large number of glimpses
into the true being of Spirit
and the Mother of Creation

whose essence is called 'Will.'
I recommend the Right Use of Will material
if you are serious about healing
and about following my lead
toward wholeness."


From the Right Use of Will homepage

" There are many books that talk about how to control emotions,
but do not demonstrate a deep understanding of them. ..
Balance between thought and emotion is necessary.
Controlling not advisable compared to evolving them. ...

"What has been overlooked is that there is
an evolutionary path for emotions, ....
As emotions evolve
alignments occur
without the use of pressure, coercion or manipulation
"The emotional body expresses as emotion, desire, receptivity and intuition.
This is our Will.
Without desire and emotion, we do not have the passion to do things.

We become slaves driven along either by the insistence of our mind or
the demands and expectations of others. ...
Without getting to know our emotional body and evolving it,
we can be manipulated through our emotions.
We can be easily led or misled.
If our emotional body is seriously shut down,
we can do anything, no matter how abhorrent, just because we can.
[In "Abraham's Teachings" this is called
"Your Emotional Guidance System"!
"My books address these questions and show you
how to evolve your Will.

The Will must be free in order to balance with the Spirit.
From this balance comes true Heart.

"How often is it said, “Do you choose love or fear?”
Why not choose both?
Why not bring fear within love, help it and find out what contributions it has to offer?
Isn't that the loving thing to do?

Ceanne DeRohan - The eight Right-Use-of-Will Books

A Healing has taken place:
the Right Use of Will books are no longer taboo on the Internet, but are now being advertised right there,
and the pages concerning RUOW in have therefore been restored.
Still I do not want to delete the sculpting of my past anger,
nor some signs of my acrobatics of rescuing some of the info,
for it is by contrast that the mind learns best.
Jewish tradition, beginning from the two seemingly contradicting Stories of Creation
(Genesis ch. 1 versus Genesis ch.2) -[see my interpretation in "The Rainbow between God and Noah"]
taught me, that it is by comparing different versions,
i.e. different perspectives of the same story or law etc.,
that understanding grows.
See "Bio-Testimony", 1982 Autobiography p. 356-7

last updates: 2005_11_12 - 2011_01_11

From the Introduction to RUOW
on a "Spiritual Index"
[in August 2012, I rediscovered it on another website
and quoted it above my excerpts of the last 3 books]

"These books are very intense
and difficult to process.
The cosmology they present
can be very challenging.
They were designed to trigger
our deepest fears, terror, and rage
so that emotional clearing can occur
and bring us into a state of healing.

"God and Mother have plans
to move together now
and we must be ready,
by vibrating within a place
that does not contain
any guilt or denials of any kind.
He suggests that this is done
by having loving intent to heal
by having the Spirit (Father)
meet the Will (Mother)
in the Heart,
centered in the Body.

[correction -2005_01_12- :
'Spirit' alone is not the 'Father',
only 'Spirit' together with 'Body'
is called 'Father'.
See this exact terminology in the updated page
of "Who is God" in "Godchannel"]

"We highly recommend these books to anyone
who has already been consciously working
on their emotional body,
... and to anyone
who is aware and looking for solutions
to this world's problems."


last update: 2002_06_20 - 2011_01_11

Quoting the RUOW books
has become problematic:

Is the wording "USE of Will" fitting?

"The right use of Will by humans
seems to be ... loving her,
helping her bring back her lost parts -
and feeling into her
as she guides us moment-to-moment.
So we can know
what we TRULY desire to have and to do,
not what guilt tells us we "should" want or do."

[from an answer of the Channelers to a question
in the Godchannel Forum]

Now RUOW has become
taboo altogether.

"The author of the books has asked
that they no longer be mentioned
or discussed in public on the internet"

This quest of   Ceanne de Rohan,
the channeler of all RUOW books,
to the 
channelers of Godchannel,
came shortly after I had a problem
with linking my new healingkiss to

I sent an e-mail to the Channelers
and they found the reason.
In the link-box I had typed
/ruow/html instead of /ruow.html
a slash instead of a dot...

Unless I'll be won over to the taboo,
I'll share my learning from RUOW!!!

"You are right to not do things
that don't feel right,
regardless of the source of the advice.
Your own sense of what is right for you
or not right for you
is better than anyone else's,
including mine.
And that goes for things
I tell you on the inside
as well as outside channeled guidance

like this..."

"Information here
or in other channeled material
is meant to be helpful
and most definitely not to be dogma
or in any way mandatory.
It is also your responsibility to do
what is right for you,
and only you can be the judge of that.

Please do this work the way
that suits you best,
and ask me on the inside
for help or advice
if you feel unsure
about what to do next."





"...There is however,
a body of work
that reflects many details of my experiences,
thoughts and feelings.
It is a series of books called
Right Use of Will
channeled by Ceanne DeRohan.

"There is no other source
of 'outside' information,
including this web site
that offers such a rich mixture
and large number of glimpses
into the true being and reality
of God and the Mother of Creation
whose essence is called 'Will'.

"I recommend this material
if you are serious about healing
and about following my lead
toward wholeness... "


[Several links no longer work,
like that which announced a translation
in French and Italian.]


There is now also a Hebrew translation on the market,
accomplished by Talila Hendel,
a pupil of who was my pupil and friend in 1987,
Wardit Bar-Ilan, now Dvora Ilan.
I had introduced to her the Blue Book,
and - deeply stirred by its stories about Atlantis and Lemuria -
Dvora developed her own diagnostic tools and healing methods
for the people she recognizes as having lived at the time
of either Atlantis or Lemuria.
It was Wardit who first inspired me with my Desert Vision.

Nov. 1, 2011: See my deep disappointment ,
when I - during a visit of Talila - had to learn,
that she no longer appreciated RUOW,
"there are new energies on earth now".

As to how the Blue Book came into my hands, see puzzle piece 14 "God's and my Will's Desire"

Though there is now a complete list of the books , with nice images, on the Internet,
I want to leave my own, then so laboriously compiled list, on "Healingkiss".
I am adding
Ceanne's description in the right frame of the presentation of each book.


Healing and Evolving the Emotional Body
Received by Ceanne de Rohan

Four Winds Publications, 1984

"Most people have felt that they must eliminate their own feelings and opinions and do what they imagined was the Will of God. Will has for so long on Earth been misunderstood, judged against, disciplined, punished and denied that most people no longer even know what their Will is. An understanding is needed here: The Will of God is not in opposition to the Will of the individual. Will expresses as intuition, feeling, emotion, receptivity and desire. Evolution of these aspects of the self can bring them into alignment and partnership with Spirit. Spirit and Will are both divine.

2 - DeRohan, Ceanne

Four Winds Publications, Sante Fe, New Mexico, 1986,198p

"To find one's origin
means finding responsibility
in how you got to where you are. "


"If there is a God who has any power, then why is it the way that it is on Earth?" The ways in which people have answered this question have consisted mostly of rationalizations designed to help better accept what their feelings do not want to accept. The Unseen Role of Denial is why it's been the way it's been. When we deny parts of ourselves, these parts can become so lost from us that they find other ways to express, even expressing through other people. These books tell stories to help denials surface for personal evolution.

2012-03-07: Both books of "ORIGINAL CAUSE" ,
started to be copied by me on and along the pages of the Blue Book
3 - DeRohan, Ceanne - ORIGINAL CAUSE 2,
Locating the gap between Spirit's vision and reality on earth.

182 pages ~~~Four Winds Publications, Sante Fe, New Mexico, 1987

"How you really feel is what needs expression and in the most natural way possible.
Let this, temporarily, at least, exclude lengthy speeches and emphasize guttural sounds.
In view of this, understanding is
that the definition of love needs to be expanded
to include emotions that have been labeled 'negative'."

"When the will receives judgement instead of love and light
it becomes lost from the light and thus the term, 'Lost Will'.
Much of the Will essence became lost so long ago
no one remembers what happened to it."

"To recover this Lost Will it is necessary
to first connect to the lost memories of what happened to it.
These lost memories go as far back as our origins."

"When the Will receives judgments instead of love and light, it becomes lost from the light and thus the term, "Lost Will." The definition of love needs to be expanded to include emotions that have been labeled "negative." Much of what we've judged to be negative became lost so long ago no one remembers what happened to it. These lost memories go as far back as our origins. How you really feel is what needs expression and in the most natural way possible. Temporarily, at least, suspend words and emphasize non-verbal sounds. Doing this in private can evolve these emotions.



"The gap between Spirit and the Will moving out into manifested Creation caused a loss of consciousness in Manifestation, thus diminishing the presence of manifested Spirit. The gap between Spirit and Will is a real space, as real a space as you will ever want to find, and is the reason Heaven and Earth seem separated. To bring light into this gap, you need as much understanding as possible. These books are a series and need to be read as such. They tell stories in a progression meant to surface things from the subconscious.

2012-June The Green Book and the Yellow Book
started to be copied by me on and along the later pages of the Blue Book

5 - DeRohan, Ceanne -

Four Winds Publications, Sante Fe, New Mexico, 1992
Gives understandings as to why lovelessness is more present on earth than love in its true form.
How to heal this by going back to the Original Cause and giving Heart more presence there,
and thus more presence in the here and now.

"...if We cannot soften Our stance,
the gap stands an excellent chance of pounding Us down into stone, left for dead to wander alone,
blown on the cold and lonely, loveless winds of deep, dark space,
and all the tears that will have been cried
will be nothing more than rain falling on stone,
for life will have disappeared without a trace of anything that could have let Us know
where We went wrong by not trying to reach for Our lost Heart Song."

"Heartlessness is most of the reason the lost Will has remained lost.
Heartlessness needs to move into Heart presence now if We are to save Earth.
How to do this is not a mental solution, for love has to be felt to be real.
If you follow the path to your lost Heart presence, you will find it."

"Heart Song is about finding the places in our hearts that are not vibrating within loving acceptance. The underlying emotions, even emotions called hateful, need the vibration of expression without being acted out. Expressing these darker emotions in a safe way can bring evolution to them. Without increased heart presence, the balance we need cannot be found and the gap will continue to manifest the extremes.

The Loss of Power
and Magic on Earth


"You may not think you know or even remember Pangea. You may not remember any past lives, as far as you know. If you pay attention to little glimmers of other times and places, if you really allow movement in the emotions you feel but do not normally allow to move, you begin to see how the cracks in your accepted reality can be widened into openings, or doorways, in which more is seen, felt and understood. Patterns can be recognized and evolved so that your history doesn't have to repeat itself. "
2012-08-03 The Orange Book and the Red Book and the Indigo Book
started to be copied by me on the pages of Desert Peace Process 2002

A Healing Of The Chakras

Four Winds Publications, Sante Fe, New Mexico - 167 p.

This is the seventh book
in the Right Use of Will series.
If this is the first book in the series that you have picked up,
do not read it
unless you are willing to go back and read all of the other books
in order first

What year?

"This book is about the imprinting, or the blueprint in the subconscious, that underlies everything; how it was put into place, what is in it and how to heal it . We are all imprinted in ways that we have never been able to move past, no matter how hard we have tried. There was very little room left for consciousness once imprinting was in place. Bringing imprinting from the subconscious to the conscious mind can begin the process of sorting it out and making shifts at the deepest levels. Evolution of consciousness and the emotional body looks like our only hope for survival as a species.
While this book is very helpful, it would have been more helpful if I had not deleted a chapter about the male side that said I felt this, but I didn't let her know, I felt that, but I didn't let her know, etc. I did this in a moment of deep fear and self-hatred coming from my imprinting about males. I was using a computer instead of my old typewriter which made the delete button easy to push. I have recovered this chapter, and when you order this book it will be included as an insert. If you already have this book and want this chapter, please send us a self addressed, stamped envelope or your e-mail address and we will send it to you.

channeled by Ceanne de Rohan
in 1995

Dedicated to
the Four Parts of God
in Loving Balance

The Search for True Understanding and Balance

This eighth book completes the Right Use of Will series, which give you the help you need
to access old belief systems and change them at the deep level
where they lie buried in the subconscious, yet influencing our lives every day.
The focus here is balance.

"If there is one thing we need, it is true understanding and balance.
Imbalance has brought us to where we are now.
Heart has not been given priority or been able to prevail
when imbalance has not let us know what true heart really is.
Finding heart balance is not only possible, but necessary,
if we are going to survive on this planet.
Heartlessness has taken us to the brink of destruction and is moving ahead fast.
A healing change involves looking back into old patterns that have fed this.
Otherwise it cannot be fixed at the deep levels where it needs to shift,
and shift it must, one way or another.
Please help by finding your own old involvement here and moving to change it".

On March 1, 2011, I checked de Rohan's website again, and found this update:
Some of us have had lives that were peaceful, pleasant and successful,
but many of us have lived lives traumatized by disastrous events
that seemed to come upon us
just when we felt ourselves expanding
into the uplifted lives we were seeking.
If you need stories to understand the makings of these reversals,
Indigo could help.

I have not wanted to let Four Winds reprint Indigo until I could find time to go over it again. I was thrown into quite a bit of confusion when I was channeling Indigo because the material was so triggering that I wasn't able to realize, until lately, that the Mother had 2 incarnations at Delphi that I was experiencing as super-imposing on one another. I was just too triggered when I was trying to channel the book. Indigo will reappear when I feel that I have received it as clearly as I am able. -Ceanne DeRohan

On August 28, 2012, I discovered that de Rohan had, indeed, "redone" this book.
I don't know, if there is a new version in print, yet this is what appears on her website:

INDIGO (REDONE with more understandings and information)
The Search for True Understanding
and Balance
ISBN 1-929113-07-2 US $25.00

Some of us have had lives that were peaceful, pleasant and successful, but many of us have lived lives traumatized by disastrous events that have seemed to come upon us just when we felt ourselves expanding into the uplifted lives we were seeking. Along with many new understandings, Indigo tells stories of such lives.

What was not understood then was the role being played by our denials. Please do remember that this process is about bringing our denied and lost Will places up into the vibration of our self-acceptance and evolving presence. By finding what has lain dark and hidden in our denied and lost Will, we can bring it up into God's Loving Light and nourish ourselves with more loving presence, depth of understanding and forgiveness.



Words of the Channeler:
"In numerology, the number eight is power in the physical plane. This power needs True Understanding and Balance which Spirit and Body cannot find without the Will and true Heart. By finding what has lain dark and hidden in your gap, you can bring it up into loving light and nourish the positive in your life with more presence and depth of understanding.
Indigo is the last book in this series.
This book goes to some very dark places, so don't read it until you feel reason to go there. This book was really difficult for me. It took me a long time to process it and I felt quite lost for a long while. I did, however, find my way through it and start to come back up. Don't forget that this process is about bringing the lost, light deprived places up into the vibration of our evolving presence.

[on March 1, 2011 , I read:
"... up into the vibration of our love and evolving presence. By finding what has lain dark and hidden in your gap, you can bring it up into loving light and nourish the positive in your life with more presence, depth of understanding and forgiveness.

I want to quote from the page "Frequently Asked Questions"
on the Right Use of Will website:


Q: I am afraid if I let my emotions come up, they'll take over, and I will be destroyed or I'll destroy others.

A: This is a common fear and an old judgment on the emotional body. I suggest letting your emotions come up and be expressed first with yourself in a safe place. If fear of this is strong, start with letting yourself feel the fear, give it what expression you can and see what it has to teach you. Emotions can teach us much. They are not something to just "manage."

Suppressing emotions can cause body blockage, illness and even DNA damage. Forcing emotions to express can cause depletion. Holding them down can cause explosive behavior. Let them up in a private, safe place until you feel comfortable letting them express without having to build up to the point where they burst past your controls or make you feel sick. Don't overdo it. Please don't use emotions as an excuse to verbally attack, dump on or overrun another in the name of emotional movement. Don't use honesty as a weapon.

Q: How do I get my emotions in motion?

A. One way is to try to pick up the thread where it was severed or knotted from infancy to adulthood. Try risking making some sounds to see if your emotions are repressed from conditioning about how you are allowed to express yourself. Even if you think you sound terrible, frightening or like a dork , risk it. There’s not a down side I can think of if you do it in a private place. If it increases your self-hatred give that expression until it turns into compassion and love.

Q. How did you come to channel the books?

A. After taking an herbalist class, I was trying to make sense of things, especially in the area of physical challenges. I wondered why one person had a stomach problem, another person had a foot problem, and another a back problem. I had been meditating for many years and my mind could become silent at times. I began to hear what seemed like possible answers to questions during some of those silent times. Sometimes the answers were outside the parameters we normally consider to be this life. I tried out the information and found it was usually helpful. If not, I would seek further and try to find out what I might have overlooked or misunderstood.
One question led to another. Unraveling questions often involved going backwards. I followed the threads, fascinated, through past lives to Atlantis, Lemuria and Pan. I then came upon Original Cause and discovered Imprinting. It probably could have happened another way since the imprinting is right here in our subconscious, but that is the way it happened for me. The impressions that appeared in my mind were often complex, sort of like spheres with tangencies to other spheres. Often, they just appeared all at once. The information seemed beyond the scope of linear words. I was then guided by word impressions that I could write down. Through quite a process with my fear and doubt, I came to trust that this was God. Always the feeling of love was strongly present. I began opening to the unfolding of layers hidden in my emotional body. The progression has had a wisdom to it. This path has been a fascinating path of self discovery, albeit, not free of what is involved in embracing long denied parts of self.
Writing these books has not been easy and smooth... like whatever's told to me, I just accept it. When I started to write down what I was hearing, I didn't know it would turn into all these books. It hasn't been just a smooth glide. It involved a lot of fearing, doubting, personal processing, questioning and dialoguing with what I was hearing. That's part of Free will, isn't it, not to just swallow whatever we're told?

Q. What about translating these books into foreign languages?

A. There are translations in Italian, German, Hebrew, Spanish and French. I haven't found them to sell well. I think the reason is that I was able to speak directly to the pulse of my own country and the translations don't speak directly to the pulse of those people.

Q. What if I am too messed up--what do I do?
A. I suggest releasing the judgments involved in that view of yourself, along with doing what you can do. You can be messed up and still try. You can feel emotionally paralyzed and carry that part along with the part of yourself that can function. The more functional parts of your self can parent the less functional parts of your self. Parent lovingly, with compassion and understanding. Be receptive. Question the voice that is berating, even scathing, critical and punitive. Ask it what wisdom, advice and guidance it has to offer. See what happens when you do that.

Also remember that you don't have to have help, but you can get help without losing yourself. Seek until you find the help that is right for you. Believe you deserve help and healing. Emotional movement can do a lot, but we also have physical bodies that have physical needs. No one part of us can do it all. ...

Q. I am noticing I have a lot of splits in my personality. How do I heal this?

A. Some of the other questions might have helped you. You can also read up on brain chemistry and alternative healing with nutrition, trace minerals etc. Don't challenge yourself to do it all emotionally. Use an integrated approach. Work on being interactive with the various parts of yourself. They probably don't split off unless there is lack of acceptance and/or trauma. You may want help with trauma. There is a lot of help available in many forms in the world today. If you can't seek it for yourself see if there is someone who will help you seek.

[The next question is about "Reclaiming Lost Will", but since this concept needs a lot of background info, I'm quoting here only those sentences that refer to "Moving Emotions" in general!]

.. . Instead of talking yourself out of those feelings, give them expression as sound, breath and maybe also body movement.
... in the safety of your own home. Giving expression to your emotions with sound creates a vibration that makes a space, a magnetic receptor site, ...

Also remember that the reflections triggering you can involve projections on your part. For example, if you banished your anger with, among other judgments, the judgment that anger is destructive, you will be triggered by any anger that appears to you to be destructive. This is not necessarily the essence of the anger.

..., you can allow yourself to go into any emotions that are triggered, remembering that this is not the same as acting them out. You will gain understandings if you express the emotions and remember you are responding to your picture of whatever this is. If you pay close attention to your inner-self during this process you will gain understandings.

Q. How can I ground myself?
A. I suggest surrounding and protecting yourself with loving light by asking for it, and also grounding yourself in nature. Actually put your bare feet on the earth in as non-toxic a place as possible. It was recently shown in a study that emotional vibration that has love in it can overcome many problems including electromagnetic problems.


Q. I'd like to try the path of emotional movement but I've heard and read so much about "negative" emotions and how damaging they are that I'm not sure if I want to get into this. It might drag me down, damage me, or I could get permanently stuck in these so called "negative" emotions.

A. There is much information out there that says "negative" emotions are bad, don't allow them, they're harmful etc. I used to react with anger to these kinds of statements. When I let my anger express I realized I felt like emotions were being blamed. I was in a real dilemma of confusion with myself. I judged myself for having "negative" emotions. This compounded the problem.

It didn't occur to me until I received this channeling that there was
a path of evolution for emotions. Acceptance for these emotions ...Direct expression of emotions through the sounds they want to make can help them evolve quite a bit. When something is suppressed, imprisoned or banished, what does it do then?

... While you may very well go down, it is a very worthy place to go. Even if you need to "wallow" you can find your intent. Is it to bring those parts of yourself up into more love and light? The key is to bring these “negative” emotions up rather than have them take you down permanently. Parent these emotions. What kind of parent are you going to be to yourself?



The new book, Feelings Matter, explains why most of our modern approaches to pregnancy, childbirth and early infancy have been negatively affecting the development of our brain and nervous system. It also explains why so many of the problems we have been facing today have their origins in these early stresses. Feelings Matter addresses this root cause and gives very applicable information on what we can do now to help ourselves and what we can do to stop passing these problems on.
Even though there have been commendable efforts to return to our more natural ways, 95% of births in the United States are still traumatic, 65% highly traumatic. These traumas can have a lifelong impact because they have usually resulted in brain and nervous system impairments that, although intuitively recognized by a few, were not scientifically seen until technology developed the ability to “see” them. Perhaps now that science has “seen” them they can gain the widespread acceptance and understanding they need.
These impairments have been surfacing as the behavioral, emotional, psychological, relationship, stress and physical problems so rampant today. Because these impairments in the development of our brain and nervous system have occurred early, in the nonverbal parts of our brain, their root cause had been overlooked until very recently when some scientists decided to shift their focus from the Neocortical, thinking brain, and study other parts of the brain that had previously been dismissed as outmoded.
Meanwhile, this lack of knowledge along with the widespread conditioning that has said we develop automatically have been generationally increasing the imbalances in our brains and nervous systems until many of our human qualities have become so imperiled that they are almost not remembered anymore. Even when we may think we have not been affected, we may find that we are, even if only by living with those around us.
Feelings Matter has made the science interesting, and as much as possible in one book, has included either in the book itself or in the resource section, nearly everything we need to improve the brain and neurological organization in ourselves and those we care about and may be able to help.

Feelings Matter, is a good supplement to Right Use of Will because it speaks directly to body’s needs and explains how meeting these needs unconditionally helps us to integrate all of our aspects. We hope you will find this book of interest because we believe this information to be very important for ourselves, our babies, our children, our parents and our future generations.

Discovered on January 19, 2009

From the Right Use of Will homepage [the underlinings are mine]:

Feelings Matter
Keys to the Unexplored Self
by Ceanne DeRohan

ISBN 1-929113-09-9

I have been searching for answers for quite some time, because I have had a persistent feeling that despite all of our exhorting of one another and all of our efforts to improve our situation on this planet, there has been something underlying that would explain why we have not been very successful, and instead, have continued to live out the adage that history repeats itself.

When I came across the information that the functioning of the majority of our brains has been becoming increasingly imbalanced and dominated by the part of our brain referred to as our Reptilian brain stem, I felt that here was an important piece of information that had been missing. I wanted to know more about what this meant.

I have since learned many things, among them that even though the symptoms and enactments of advancing Reptilian brain domination have been becoming increasingly apparent all around us, it has just now been recognized for what it really is, for how it happens and for what this really means. This book is about how and why this brain imbalance has been happening and what we can do about it.
While there are many things about our Reptilian brain that are good for our survival, domination by our Reptilian brain is not the way our human brains are meant to develop. All the parts of our brain are meant to develop and function in an interactive balance, and yet, Reptilian brain domination has become so prevalent that it has come to be regarded as normal. Reptilian brain domination has even been been described as “human nature,” but it is not the true nature of humans.

Understanding the far-reaching effects of Reptilian brain domination, how it happens, why it is so detrimental and what we can do about it may take awhile to sink in, but essentially this is a brain imbalance that has been imperiling the very qualities that make us loving and caring human beings. Reptilian brain domination results in reacting rather than thinking and feeling. These reactions are to protect perceived threats to the self, real or not.

Reptilian brain domination reduces life to a binary world of self and other in which survival means that self must prevail. It has not integrated enough to see that we are interdependent. Where there is Reptilian brain domination, there is a deep-seated imprint that we have only self to depend on. Distrust is high. This makes it difficult to think beyond self, to have good relationships with others and to effect any sustainable change.

Perhaps some of the appeal of Reptilian brain domination has been the illusion that because we don’t really care all that much, or perhaps, at all, about others, we are free to do whatever we want and ignore the consequences to others because they are not us. Are you aware of how much reactionary behavior we have in our current system of living? Becoming reactionary is not normal human behavior. Taking action when there is a real survival threat is normal human behavior, but Reptilian brain domination can blur that discernment.

By understanding Reptilian brain domination we can become able to see that it has been the root cause of most of our many and collective problems.

Addressing Reptilian brain domination can enable us to more effectively make the shifts we need to make on the deep and underlying levels where these shifts need to be made, not only in ourselves, but also socially and globally.

To understand, and even to believe, what it can really mean to have Reptilian brain domination, it seems necessary to have a foundation of understanding in the current knowledge about our brain development and also the causes of our many current imbalances. In the light of this, I have tried to make the scientific information in this book as readable and emotionally engaging as I could.
Although it has now become known as a scientific fact that we can grow brain cells and neural pathways at any age, now called neuro-plasticity, many of us have still lacked understanding of how to effectively improve our brain function in the 2/3, (or more), of our brain that does not respond to words.

Because we can best restore brain balance by using a synergistic blend of approaches, shifting our brains to a state of greater balance can seem to be more difficult than it may at first appear. However, if we have the desire to do it, it isn’t likely to be too difficult for us to accomplish. Based on the research that has been done about what stimulates what parts of our brain to develop, I have included many practical suggestions for improving the development, integration and balance in our entire brain and nervous system. Our efforts can produce results while also being stimulating, enjoyable and even fun, and need not be particularly “mental,” because in most of us, it is the parts of our brain other than the Neocortical, thinking part that need the most help.

There is also a lot of information in this book about the role that stress has been playing in our brain and nervous system imbalances, information on nutrition and detoxifying our bodies and also what can be done during pregnancy, birth and early infancy to stop perpetuating our developmental imbalances.
As a stepping stone to finding additional help, there is also a resource section included at the end of the book. There are now many ways available to get the help we need. Also, by listening to ourselves, we can find inner promptings to guide us on an interesting journey of self-discovery, challenging us to develop more parts of ourselves.

Better brain development and balance can result from giving our brain what it needs. With that help, our brain can make many shifts for the betterment of our entire being, and subsequently, everything around us. After all, our brain is the processing center for our intelligence, and its state of development is reflected to us in everything, internal and external. Why not improve its development, integration and balance?

Although Feelings Matter is not part of the Right Use of Will series, it contains the same basic concepts applied to our brain development, our health and our ability to function in our daily lives.
Anyone you wanted to give a copy of Right Use of Will, but didn't think they would accept the information, can read this, because the same basic concepts are all backed up now with science.







I follow my understanding and new lekh-lekhâ on January 1, 2009,
  that - after 7 years - I should no longer create new pages on my 2 websites,
but intermingle the evidence of new experiences with that on existing pages.

My study and application of "Abraham/Hick's" teachings

about learning "Good-Feeling-Thoughts
from November 1-9 ,2009
continuation of the inserts from October 16-31, 2009 in "The Mother's Eruption"
which is the
continuation of the first inserts from October 1-16, 2009 in "I honor all their experiences"

October 31 , evening – November 1, morning, Sunday,

at Arad , alone in my castle

I've been waiting to begin this third page of sculpting one DESIRE on each day
with a desire, which - even after 30 years - I cannot even get into exact focus!

To use "Abraham's" language, the phenomenon and intensity of what I don't want,
is so overpowering, that until this hour, I cannot even see clearly what I Do want.

I, therefore, shall take time and space to circle-orbit the "phenomenon",
before "launching the rocket of a desire", even if only the draft of a desire.

The pain I felt, when listening to an old tape with David Morris' two moving songs,
pain that this good songwriter & singer was never "received" by the Internet-world.

The pain I felt now, when Moshe Klein, my friend, forwarded a refusal-letter to me:
an essay which explained his mathematical insights was not seen fit for publication!

The pain I feel, whenever a child or a grownup - a family member or any person - ,
sits around a dinner-table and wants to say something, but is overridden by another,

a pain which epitomizes the question which has been torturing me for 35 years:
what about people's "Cain":
wanting to give,
but there is no one to receive?

Kajin brought , from the fruit of the soil, a gift to YHWH
...for Kayin and his gift he had no regard.
[Genesis 4:3-5, Fox]

see a dialog with "God" about "not being received" in Godchannel

addition in January 2013 on my recorder, copied from there on Jan.12, 2014:
the reason for the gap between what people want to create and give
and what people can receive:

and see my 5 sculptures about Kayin & Hevel 7 years ago:

I've well healed the emotional hole in my wholeness: the Cain in myself.
At least, when the hole is triggered , I can breathe, sigh and then laugh!
But when I "believe" that another's "Cain" is triggered, I can not laugh!
And mainly, it drives me crazy, that I do not understand even in theory,
how the udders of the cow ~~overflowing, exploding with milk to GIVE,
can ever be emptied by calves whose capacity to drink is sooo limited!
Why is there such a horrid, illogical disproportion
between the amount of what people want to give,
the fruits
of their WISDOM, of their CREATIVITY, of their LOVE,
and the amount of what humans are able to receive?

I cannot "desire", that the abundance of myself or others will be received!
This would be like desiring that God make a stone too heavy for him to lift!
"God", too, would like to give all s/he has learnt through evolution at once,
but how then would "EXPANSION" through us in time-space reality go on?

When I said to Yanina - during our routine phone-talk on Shabbat morning -
that the worst part of my pain about 'Cain' was my identification with others,
"or more correct my projection on others",
she, the Jungian psycho-therapist, said:
"a projection always finds a hook in the other
on which to hang on my kitbag.
In this very second of hearing the word "hook",
- while climbing down the steepest passage to my "Wadi of Compassion" -
I had bent down to once again put back the strap into the hook of my sandal,
but this time in vain, the hook had widened too much and was about to break.

Amaced by this funny coincidence I had an insight and shared it with Yanina:
"Whenever my bladder will feel squeezed
because another person doesn't get enough attention
I'll first breathe and let go of the part, which is nothing but my projection
and then I'll "pray", i.e. give all my heart's attention to the other person,
desiring for him/her - that s/he may learn to receive him/herself. "

Self-Acceptance would solve Cain's problem of needing others' receiving
in order to appreciate, acknowledge, love him/herself..
It might heal the pain "of not being received",
and from their the re-action of Cain, symbolic for humankind's entire history,
will fall away: no need to kill others, no need for wars.
Again and again I'm quoting that line in the song of a soldier in "Wallenstein":
"Nur im Felde da ist der Mann noch was wert",
Only in battle is the man still worth anything".

This was not quoted, but exemplified today - by horrible numbers and images
connected to the Thirty Year War, of which a doc was seen on channel 3SAT.
What was new and adding another layer of pain to all that's connected to War:
the role of the women as it comes to light in the diary of an anonymous soldier.
"without the work of the soldiers' female companions in the camps etc.
no war could have taken place or be carried through!"

This soldier's woman delivered 4 babies- only to be carried to the grave after birth.

But even if I myself become more and more whole
and won't need that anybody receives my FRUITS,
and even if the "hook" in others will be taken care of
by focusing on what I do want for the other person,
(instead of identifying with his real or projected pain)
even then my thinking feels troubled by that question.


The second and third line are rooted so much in Biblical language, that any translation will be poor.
My desire is – that I may finally understand the purpose of the disproportion
between a human's need to GIVE from "the fruit of his soil" to other humans
and the limitedness of us humans to RECEIVE the fruit of another's creation.

There was a partial answer the next day:
Not to my outspoken question about "the purpose of the fact",
but to the unasked question about "how to deal with the fact"
at least in the realm of my personal experience:
If I see myself as more than a limited aspect in physical time-space-reality,
- if I see myself as who-I-really-am, which is a hologram of all-that-is,
then I can see all-of-creation as well as "all-that-is" as the receiver
of my wisdom, my creations, my love!
In other words:
If my ego is no longer dependent on being received by another human being!
and if I truly trust that "my fellows" will learn to receive themselves as I do!
and there will be left "only" the question about what to do with my overflow,
there is an answer,
which I got already some time after my son suggested to establish a website:
the Internet is a limitless space-time container for all I desire to give-convey.
In the beginning, yes, I had the illusion that Healing-kiss would bring me peers

But now I understand and accept, that even in the virtual realm
I and my "overflow" can be digested only in homeopathic doses,
and I managed to let go of my expectations, because I now know,
that I don't have to do or say or write anything to attract my peers.
When the time will come - they will appear
See Puzzle-Pieces 2b, PEERS> Maryam, 2002/03/17; 2007_11_22
"I'm happy about the "peerdance", which we completed today,
in delightful cooperation, my son Immanuel and I."





November 1 , evening – November 2, morning, Monday,
at Arad , alone in my castle- I delight in my song

The Cain-Symbol was exacerbated in another programs in 3SAT's "theme-day"
The miracle of Berne : the 1954 FIFA [Football] World Cup Final,
"The 1954 victory is regarded as a turning point in post-war German history
due to being the first feeling of success for a beaten nation, living in a destroyed country
the first time since the Second World War the German national anthem was played in public."

The doc often used the term, that at my time (until 1964) did not exist in German:
"Selbstwertgefuehl", "The Feeling of Self-worth", or my term: "of Self-Esteem".
It also showed the shadows of the ecstasis of the national Feeling of Self-Worth:
the horrible reactions in Hungary and the dire consequences for the ball-players.
It was NOT associated to what I've always seen as the real reason for "Nazism":
The German nation, humiliated after World War I much more than after WW II,
divulged a monster which in ever so many ways returned the Selbstwertgefuehl,
and not only by exalting the German "race" on the dark foil of "Untermenschen".



My desire has been - with all my heart and all my soul for 35 years -
that every man and woman would heal the "Cain and Abel" in them,
Cain killed "his fellow" because he did not feel worthy,
Abel let himself be killed because he did not feel worthy.
My desire is
that Wo/Man will learn to accept whatever s/he feels
and first of all his/her greatness, who s/he really is!

From my page about healing "Cain" 2002, including my song of 1984

What can be "the good-feeling-thoughts"
as stepping-stones towards total self-acceptance?
In 2002 I suggested and still suggest today:

Then will stand up "the bruised reed" and will live;
then again will shine "the dark wick"!

See two other songs, where "Cain" is mentioned:
"The movement of the sea is the wave" and "Bat-Adam"













Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.8

And yet, as people interact with one another on important subjects,
they commonly plunge headlong into conversations and decisions and behaviors
before they have achieved any sense of true stability,
[see the trap I fell into, when my neighbor Shalom attacked me today, Aug. 2009,
for having dug up my compost–heap, thus releasing millions of insects…]

and then the return to stability is often very long in coming.
And often, once out of balance, they stumble into the next
and then the next and then the next out-of control experience.
Through the examples in this book,
it is our desire
to help you remember
the art of alignment first—then action.
Alignment first—then conversation.
Alignment first—then interaction.
Alignment first—then anything else.

People sometimes say, “Think before you speak.”
A wise intention,but we would take it further.
We would suggest,
and then evaluate the value of that thought
by noticing how it feels;
and do that often enough that you know, without question,
that you are in alignment—
then speak, then act, then interact.”

Someone who takes the time
to understand their relationship with Source,
who actively seeks alignment with their Broader Perspective,
who deliberately seeks and finds alignment with who they-really-are,
is more charismatic, more attractive, more effective,
and more powerful
than a group of millions who have not achieved that alignment.

There is no relationship of greater importance to achieve
than the relationship between you,
in your physical body,
right here and now,
and the Soul/Source/God from which you have come.

If you tend to that relationship first and foremost,
you will then, and only then,
have the stable footing to proceed into other relationships.
Your relationship with your own body
your relationship
with your parents, children, grandchildren,
the people you work with, your government, your world . . .
will all fall swiftly and easily into alignment
once you tend to this fundamental, primary relationship first.



Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.9-10
Are We Living Under Flawed Premises?

Whether you read this book in one sitting or over a period of several days,
an important transformation will take place within you:
Flawed premises that you have picked up along your physical trail
will fall by the wayside, one by one,
and you will return to the understanding
that is at the core of that which you are.
And when that happens,
not only will you begin to understand every current and past relationship,
but the benefit that every relationship has given you
will become immediately apparent to you.

Without exception, the flawed premise or unstable footing
that most people stand on is
because they care more about what someone else is thinking about them
than how they themselves are feeling.

It seems logical that an exposing of those flawed premises
would clear things up and put them back on their path of Well-Being.
However, when you are standing in the middle of a flawed premise,
focusing upon the results of it,
you are usually so engulfed in the Vibration of it
—and therefore so actively attracting because of it—
that you cannot see its inherent flaw.
It does not feel false
when your life continues to unfold
in the way you “believed” it would.



In order to discover or understand a false or flawed premise,
you have to stand back far enough and reconnect with who-you-really-are
before you can see it.
In other words, if you were to interact with an unkind (disconnected) person
who told you continually that you are not smart,
at first you would take issue with the idea.

The negative emotion you would feel is
because the words You are not smart
are so contradictory to the true knowledge of your Source.
But if you were to hear this again and again,
until you yourself began to believe and repeat the false premise,
now your own activation of the contradictoryVibration
would interfere with your own sense of intelligence,

and you would begin to attract evidence of your lack of intelligence,
in effect proving the false premise to be true.
It becomes increasingly hard for you to call this a “false” premise
when the evidence seems to be telling you that it is true.
Over time you come to believe it is true.
The good news in all of this is
that whenever you know what you do not want,

an equal and proportionate desire for what you do want
erupts from you,
and a rocket of desire
shoots forward into your Vibrational Reality.

In other words,
the potential for a greatly improved experience
is always born from an unwanted experience;
and, in time
(whenever the resistance ceases),
the improvement will come.

We write this book
so that you can allow your improvement sooner rather than later,
or sooner rather than not in this lifetime—
but in any event,
future generations will benefit dramatically from
the contrast your current generation is living.

It is our desire to assist you

in unraveling and releasing these erroneous, incorrect, unhelpful beliefs,
to help you free yourself from the bondage of these false premises.
We want you to remember who-you-really-are
and to stand in that fresh light,
in that fresh place of attracting
on all subjects.

Most people
who are in the midst of observing something unwanted in another person
believe that if the unwanted condition were not there to be observed,
they would not be observing it.
Most people
who are in the midst of observing something unwanted in another person
believe that the discomfort they are feeling

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.11

is because of the unpleasant condition that is being offered by the other person,
and that if the other person would no longer offer the unpleasant condition,
then they (the ones observing) would feel better.

Most people

who are in the midst of observing something unwanted in another person
believe that if they could control the behavior of the other—
through influence, persuasion, coercion,
rules, laws, or threat of punishment—
in the gaining control of unwanted situations,
they would feel better.

Most people believe
that control of conditions and of others
is the key to feeling better,
but that belief is the greatest flawed premise of all.
The belief that if you could get all circumstances to change
so that your observation of them
would then feel good to you
defies the Laws of the Universe,

as well as your reason for being here.
It was never your intention to control everything around you.
It was your intention to control the direction of your thought.

Throughout this book,
we will identify a series of flawed premises
that are at the heart of the confusion and distortion of your physical reality.
It is our desire that,
you will be able
to release the flawed premises
that contradict your Broader knowing
so that you can return to the natural state
of allowing the Well-Being of your life to flow to you.



4 of my grandkids 2008

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.12-13
Gaining a Clear View by Stepping Back

Before you focused a part of your Consciousness into the physical body
that you now recognize as you,
you were an intelligent, clear, happy, nonresistant Consciousness
eager for this new experience into which you were emerging.
Before your birth,
the only relationship you experienced
was your relationship with your Source;
but since you were, at that time, Non-Physical,
and therefore nonresistant,
you experienced no discernible separation,
and therefore
no discernible “relationship,” between you and Source.

You were Source.
In other words,
while you have fingers and toes and arms and legs,
you do not see them as separate Beings.
You see them as a part of you.
So you usually do not try to describe your relationship with your leg,
because you understand that your leg is you.
And so, before your physical birth,
you were Vibrationally intertwined with Source,
or with what humans often call God,
but the full integration of you with God was such that
there was no relationship between the two—
because you were all One.

In the moment of your birth,
a part of the Consciousness that is you
focused itself into your physical body,
and your first relationship began:
the relationship between the physical you and the Non-Physical You.


Here we come upon a significant flawed premise, or misunderstanding,
of many—in fact, most—of our physical human friends:

Flawed Premise #1:
I am either physical or Non-Physical,
either dead or alive.

This relationship (this Vibrational relationship)
that exists between
the physical you and the Non-Physical You
is significant for many reasons:

1. The emotions that you feel
(your Emotional Guidance System)
are because of the relationship
between these two Vibrational parts of you.

2. As you reach for new thoughts and expansion,
out here on the Leading Edge of life,
you have the benefit of the stable knowledge
of your Non-Physical counterpart.

3. As you reach for new thoughts and expansion,
out here on the Leading Edge of life,
the Non-Physical part of you has the benefit of the expansion
that you carve out of your physical experience.

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.14

4. Every other relationship you have
(that is, with other people, with animals,
with your own body, with money,
with concepts and ideas, with life itself)
is profoundly affected by this all-important relationship
between you and You.









November 2 , evening – November 3, morning, Tuesday,
at Arad , alone in my castle


My desire is – to solve the dilemma:
Are Damon Toth (Canada, co-participant in Godchannel-forum) and I
meant to convert potential peership into real peership,
and is the fact, that I'm triggered by him,
meant to help me heal more holes in my wholeness,
or is this a waste of time and love at this stage
and it would be better to leave this virtual relationship?


It's absurd, how I've finally attracted a potential peer to my life,
who -like me- participated in the Godchannel Forum in 2000-2001!
(See there Damon's "In dedication of Body" and the following thread)
someone, whom -years ago- I tried to contact several times in vain,
and now, that he has come, I am so triggered, that I would prefer..
I am deterred by his very name: Damon (demon?), Toth (tot=dead in German).
Now his Internet- Blog brings up more triggers, the first two being:
his face hidden behind eye-glasses and a moustache that disgusts me,
and his profession: Real-Estate-Agent, arouse a multitude of judgments
and though he explained his satisfaction from this job in a way I could accept it,
---together with the main trigger - his xxxxxxx behavior in his letters - I can not.

But I do love his self-love , as it comes to light in his self-description:

It's a long story, but a good one.
I have found fascinating things about many things.
I have been fulfilled in ways
that I never expected.
I am full of hope for a greater future for many and the earth,
but ready for the disappointments.
I am learning to be my destiny~~~
I have come to know myself,
I have come to know the creator.
I like my sense of humour,
I like my sense of talk!
I like the crunchier peanut butter better.

I love to laugh and talk a lot,
I am a good orator and speaker,
I have become a really interesting guy, and my partner loves me for my company.

I have come to see the good in people,
and have learned
to be gentle with others.
I like to reflect on my life,
because it is my life!
Not too much bothers me anymore.
I am a very intense person, that can be charming and quite charismatic, but most times more serious.
I fight my temptations,
and the devil is in the details.

From "AS ABOVE SO BELOW" by Damon Toth

p. 282-4 We all try to avoid feeling certain feelings that we have
by never allowing ourselves to think about them.
When we think,
we have emotions reacting to our thoughts and responding to them.
... we tell our minds to switch to somethng else hoping
that it will move us away from our gap [where the denied feelings are]

This rarely works of course, and what then usually happens is
that we feel these awful things until they finally go away.
They are gone, but not for good.
They will be back again
as they didn't get the movement they needed to get out of the gap,
as you didn't accept them.
Having acceptance for those feelings means
bringing your mind's consciousness into those feelings
and not judging them as bad to have or wrong to feel.
There are as many triggers as there are stars in the sky,
and each one has the same effect; it knocks us into our gap,

For our feelings to express fully,
our minds need to remove the judgments
that it has put on these feelings
by saying that they aren't bad or wrong to feel that way.
Once this is done, they are free to express in our bodies.
These movements can be any movements.
Sometimes, it is rocking yourself to sleep,...
sometimes it is making the most unusual sounds...
sometimes it's screaming ... while jumping up and down.
... Whatever it takes for those feelings to move
is giving them expression....

[Continuation in "LEARNING & LIVING TODAY, April 2005]

Our first e-mail exchange: Oct. 10-13

On Sat, Oct 10, 2009 at 7:03 PM, Damon Toth <> wrote:
Hi This is Damon Toth, author of As Above So Below. I just came onto your site,
and read that you had tried to obtain my book. Please let me know if you ever did
get a copy of it, maybe I can help in that. Kind regards Damon Toth

Dear Damon!!!!! (Shoham, Oct. 13)
In the past I've tried several times - in vain - to contact you,
because your were one of the few on the Godchannel Forum,
whom I felt to be on my "wave-length"
and who "received me". ....
I managed to buy the book,
the only book in years,
with the credit card of my son.

I read the book eagerly,
and just, just now I held it in my hands,
when I was about to give away a third of my books
to a Bedouin teacher of Hebrew,
who wants to set up a library in his school.
Your book , of course, I kept...
But it is in my tiny "castle" at Arad (near the Dead Sea),
while at present I am on my family assignment at Shoham (near the airport),
as always, when my eldest son, now a pilot of El-Al airline, is on long flights.
I would have told you, what was the most important passage for me in the book.
(s. the quote on Oct. 26-27 about "How I am responsible for the perpetrators/victimizers")

I don't know now how to communicate with you
or if it's right timing to even start to communicate.
May be you know better...

Today's e-mail quote - Abraham 2002
Everything exists for joy.
There is not one other reason for life than joy.
We've got nothing to prove to anyone,
because nobody other than All-That-Is is watching.
... We're not trying to get someplace else;
we're not trying to get it done,
because there is no ending--we cannot get it done.
Everything exists for the purpose of joy in the moment.


November 3 , evening – November 4, morning, Wednesday,
at Arad , alone in my castle
On November 4, 1960, 7 times 7 years ago, in Jerusalem - Rafael-Christa -everything began,
at least everything that has to do with the 16 co-actors in my drama in the State of Israel.


49=7x7 years after the joining together of Rafael-Rachel
m y   d e s i r e   i s   a d d r e s s e d   d i r e c t l y   t o

YHYH who visits the fathers' avon*
upon the children unto the third and fourth generation
Please – convert the law which defines
that the denials in the life of father and mother
will have dire consequences in the lives of their children and grandchildren - from "mafria' le-mafrae" , "from frightful to fruitful"!

*This bug has never appeared before: when copying the verse,
  which is included in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:4)
  the word "avon", usually translated as "sin", or "iniquity", appeared mutilated,
  no matter, how often I repeated the copying from two Hebrew Bible websites!
  As if to demonstrate my interpretation: there is no sin, but there is DENIAL!

You said, “I will go forth, into a sea of contrast;
and from it, more ideas will be born.”

I wished, I had received "Abraham's" teaching about CONTRAST,
before and during and after my drama with the father of my children.

Yes, before I started to suffer from the fact , that I was "disturbing"!
That I should not have been born , since I was causing people pain!
I know now, and into depth really only now - thanks to "Abraham",
that OTHER PEOPLE CHOSE and CHOOSE me - "for contrast".
I know it now, whenever I see people in the pool swimming straight,
forth and back and forth and back , for half an hour in the same line.
Sometimes - I get to hear the anger about my swirling like a dolphin,
though nobody is forced to go out of his/her track to avoid collision!
I always manage to flip across the separating spiral~~to evade them.
They are angry, but maybe a desire is born to leave the beaten track!

May 1979 - glued only on paper side by side - 15 months before Rachel left Rafael

From puzzle piece 1b: Driving Backward to Retrieve Goodness>2001_12_06

Today's e-mail quote - Abraham 2003

A happy life is just a string of happy moments.
But most people don't allow the happy moment,
because they're so busy trying to get a happy life.











November 4 , evening – November 5, morning, Thursday,
between my castle at Arad and my family at Shoham


My desire is – that it will become clear to us now,
for what purpose Moshe and I chose each other for our dramas,
and that this purpose will begin to manifest and become realized.

Under an open, opening sky, my daughter and her husband's friend: Moshe Klein
Pesach 1987, between Bazra and Ga'ash ,- in an open field where my bus parked.

When searching for "mathematics" on Healingkiss-Search,
I didn't find the paper of Moshe, which I once had inserted, but I found this:

From an unsent letter to the Palestinian Lucy Nuseiba in 2003
"Can you accept a working theory,
that all the mess you and the world find ourselves in,
has to do with unawareness and denial of emotions?
And if so, can you open up
to becoming the first Learning Society with the aim of coping with emotions?
Even before the world will know about the planned spectacular event
and start to turn their heads into realizing self-determination
instead of indulging in victimhood
you'll set an example of learning, of training, of finally admitting,
that with all our fantastic achievements we still live in the stone-age,
concerning the evolution of our emotions,
which will be – some time in the future – recognized as the best part of living.

Before outlining my plan of a "spectacular event", I quoted, what gave me courage:

"In 1530, Copernicus gave to the world his work De Revolutionibus,
[the original meaning of the Latin "revolutio" is: rotation, orbiting, circling]
which asserted that the earth rotated on its axis once daily
and traveled around the sun once yearly:....

Copernicus was in no hurry to publish his theory,
though parts of his work were circulated among a few of the astronomers
that were giving the matter some thought;
indeed, Copernicus' work might not have ever reached the printing press
if it had not been for a young man who sought out the master in 1539.
George Rheticus was a 25 year old German mathematics professor
who was attracted to the 66 year old cleric, having read one of his papers.
Intending to spend a few weeks with Copernicus,
Rheticus ended up staying as a house guest for two years,
so fascinated was he with Copernicus and his theories.
Now, up to this time, Copernicus was reluctant to publish,
-- not so much that he was concerned with what the church might say...
(De Revolutionibus was placed on the Index in 1616 and only removed in 1835)
but rather because he was a perfectionist and he never thought,
even after working on it for thirty years, that his complete work was ready, ...
Copernicus died in 1543 and was never to know what a stir his work had caused.
…Two other Italian scientists of the time, Galileo and Bruno,
embraced the Copernican theory unreservedly ...
Giordano Bruno had the audacity to even go beyond Copernicus,
and, dared to suggest, that space was boundless
and that the sun and its planets were but one of any number of similar systems:
there even might be other inhabited worlds with rational beings
equal or possibly superior to ourselves.
Bruno was ...burned at the stake in 1600.
Galileo was ... in 1633, ..., forced to renounce all belief in Copernican theories,
and was thereafter sentenced to imprisonment for the remainder of his days.
Goethe: "Of all discoveries and opinions,
none may have exerted a greater effect on the human spirit
than the doctrine of Copernicus…."

I ask Moshe, why the links on the page about his murdered relatives don't work,
and "use" the memory of that list to tell him about the recent journey to "Poland"-
of Jonathan & Rotem, the children of my son-in-love, who was Moshe's best friend,
and of Shira & Yahel, the twins of Yaacov, whom Moshe knew well - 20 years ago,
together with three of Israel's Democratic Schools, which are close to Moshe's heart.

After having begged Moshe to inform me,
where Internet visitors can learn about him and his revolutionary wisdom,
I expressed another - but not unrelated - quest:
Where can I find a 3 dimensional, moving model of the solar system for Mika?
She will be four on Dec. 20, and after almost 3 years of intense living-together,
"the relationship between us has become very mature".
"you might remember,
what I said 21 years ago, in that cafe in Tel-Aviv, Dizengof Center,

(we met there by chance, when I visited my daughter, who had a job there as a sales-woman)
"you were excited about my Succah idea,
(now called: a Vision about Peace through Desert-Hosting-Economy)
and said:
"In this I want to support you!" and that's what you did all along."
I predicted then, that I would give my life to my vision till the age of 70
"and then I'll dedicate myself to the stars".
"And though the predictions came true only partly, they are not forgotten!"

Having come that far - through many hours of thinking and sculpting -
(and finally asking him, if he wanted to publish that refused article on my website)
I suddenly understood the message of both, my letter to Moshe and today's Desire:

"And now I feel like telling something - not by hints - but expressively:
If the Copernican theory, your re-volution ,
would combine with the e-volution of your emotion,
then Creation would truly advance!"






my family in 1975

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.14-15
Your Relationship with Your Parents

Flawed premises,
around your relationships with your parents.

From your Non-Physical vantage point, you understood
that your physical parents
would be your important avenue into physical experience,
and that you would be born into a stable enough environment
to be able to get your physical footing. …
But you did not intend to look to them
to determine your life’s purpose for you,
or for guidance about the correctness or effectiveness
of your physical journey.

when you were first born into your physical body, the relationship
between you and You (your Non-Physical Inner Being) was such
that you were nearly still that One Pure, Positive Energy.
But in those very first new days in your physical body,
you began to experience a gradual shift in your own Consciousness

… as the new infant in your mother’s arms,
you had two Vibrational vantage points active within you
—and so, you then began to feel emotions.
Since you just came from an environment
where you had absolute knowledge of the Well-Being
of the Universe and of planet Earth and of All-That-Is,
when your mother held you
and worried about you—
you felt uncomfortable.

When your parents felt overwhelmed with their lives—
you felt uncomfortable.
When they gazed at you in pure love and appreciation—
you felt the alignment of their Beings,
and you felt comfort.

But, even in your infancy, you remembered
that it was not their job
to shine their alignment on you.

You remembered, even then—even before you could talk or walk—
that it was not their job
to provide a haven of comfort and aligned Energy for you.
You knew it was your job,
and you knew you would figure it out.

And, meanwhile,
you were able to easily withdraw back into the alignment of your Oneness—
and so you slept.

You came into this physical environment knowing
that you would be surrounded by contrast right from the beginning,
and that this contrast
would provide the nucleus of the creation
of your own life experience.

You understood
that just by being present in this Earth environment,
you would automatically find your own preferences,
and that both wanted and unwanted aspects
would be of benefit to you.

And, most of all, you knew that you would be the one (the only one)
who would (or could) choose for you.
However, by the time you came into the life experience of your parents,
they had (in most cases) all but forgotten that about you.
Which brings us to another flawed premise:

Flawed Premise #2:

my parents,
because they were herelong before I was born,
and because they are my parents,
know better than I do what is right or wrong for me.

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.16

You did not intend to use the opinions of your parents
to measure against your beliefs, desires, or actions
in order to determine the appropriateness of them.
Instead, you knew (and still remembered, long after you were born)
that it was the relationship
between the opinion (or knowledge) of the Source within you
and your current thoughts, in any moment,
that would offer you perfect guidance in the form of emotions.

Of course, it is possible
to have a wonderful, effective relationship with your parents
if you first find the alignment between you and You.
But, unless you have achieved alignment between you and You,
no other relationship can be a good one.


Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.17
Your Relationship with Your Siblings

Instead of achieving their alignment with who-they-really-are,
they are asking you to behave in a way that makes them feel better.
That is what conditional love is:
“If you will change your behavior or condition,
then as I observe it, I will feel better.
So I am giving you the responsibility for the way I feel.”

When the second child enters the mix,
not only is there now more behavior for your parents to attempt to control,
but an even more confusing thing occurs for you:
now, not only are you considering your own behavior
in relationship to your parents’ response to what you are doing,
but you are observing the way
your parents are responding to the behavior of the other child.
The potential for distortion and confusion exponentially expands
with each new person who enters the mix.
Trying to achieve your proper personal behavior
is not possible through trying to adjust
to the desires and demands of the people you live with.
There is simply too much variety
in personality, interest, intention,and life purpose
coming in for you to sort it out on a behavior level.

But there is something you can do
that will bring each of these relationships
into perspective and satisfaction for you:
Seek alignment between you and You, first,
before you engage with any other.
And never ask for a behavioral change from any other
to use as your basis of improved emotion or perspective.
There are simply too many moving parts,
and you will not succeed.

[Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.14-15Pages 17 till 28:
in "LEARNING & LIVING TODAY, April 2005]



Efrat with Tomer and Yael 2001

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.28-29

The opposite was your intention.
You said, “I will go forth,
into a sea of contrast;
and from it,
more ideas will be born.”

You understood that joyous expansion would be born from diversity.
But as you attempt to control them (through influence or coercion),
you discover that not only can you not contain them—
but your attention to them brings more like them into your experience.
Your current society
is waging a war against illegal drugs, a war against poverty,
a war against crime, a war against teenage pregnancy,
a war against cancer, a war against AIDS,
a war against terrorism . . .
and all of them are getting bigger.
You simply cannot get to where you want to be
by controlling or eliminating the unwanted.

The flawed premise
“My group’s/our way of life is the only correct way,
therefore all other ways must be stopped,
because when I look at what I do not agree with, I feel bad”

is the basis of the majority of unhappiness on your planet.
Not only do those being pushed against feel the pain,
but those doing the pushing feel it as well.
In fact, the unhappiest,least fulfilled among you
are those who are pushing against others,
because, in doing so,
you are disallowing the most important relationship of all:
the relationship between you and You.


While it was your intention
for new desires to be born within you
and to accomplish those desires,

you had no intention of hindering, in any way,
the desires of others.
You knew that this world is big enough for everyone
to create their own desires.
And you were not worried
about being hindered
by your observation of their creations
(even if you did not like what you saw)
because you knew
y ou had the power to focus upon what is wanted.

And so, ridding your world of your personal unwanted
was not necessary.
You intended to decide what you want
and, by the power of your focus
and the Law of Attraction,
to attract it—

and to allow all others to do the same.
You understood that diversity
not only provides the basis
of your strength and of your expansion,
but of your very existence—
because if there is not expansion,
existence cannot continue to be.

Do We Have Power to Influence Others

Rather Than Control Them?

When someone seeks control over another person, or over a situation,
they never achieve it,
because in the attitude of control
there is such a big component of knowing what you do not want
that your Vibration and point of attraction
are working in opposition to your actual desire.
Even though you may join forces with others
to push against the unwanted,
and even when it appears
that your forces have overwhelmed the opposing forces,
you never actually gain control—
but, instead, you enhance, or add to, your attraction of more unwanted.
The faces and places may change,
but more unwanted keeps coming,
and you find no sustainable control.


Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.30

But there is an even more important distinction
than the one between influence and control,
and that is the distinction between trying to get to where you want to be
from your awareness of what you do not want,
as compared to getting to where you want to be
from your awareness of what you do want.
The first is more about trying to motivate another to a different behavior;
the latter is more about inspiring another to a different behavior

In your effort at motivation,
because you are focused upon what you do not want,
you do not have the benefit or help of your true power.
But when you are focused completely upon what you do want—
thereby releasing all resistance or opposition to your own desire—
you are engaging the Energy that creates worlds,
and your power of influence is mighty.
In your connection to, and allowance of, your true power,
your influence
to bring others into their own power
is great.









November 5, 2009 Immanuel & Tomer, 2002

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.30-32

How do we harmonize a diverse family?

You eagerly came into this physical time-space reality
because it is the Leading Edge of creation
and you are a creator.
You adored the idea of focusing on this world of contrast
because you understood the value
the contrast would have in helping you, a creator, to focus and create.
You understood
that your own life would draw from you continual new ideas,
and that, by the power of your focus,
those ideas could become “reality,”
as it is known in the physical world.
And you knew the joy of choosing, focusing,
and allowing the creative manifestations.
You knew that, in every moment,
you would be able to feel the degree of Vibrational alignment
you were achieving
between your current thoughts
and the understanding
that the Source within you has on the same subject at the same time,
and you understood
that those feelings
of positive and negative emotion
would be the sole source
of your guidance
to help you create
and discover
and expand

along your Eternal path of becoming.

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.32-33

While it never feels good to you to view yourself (or anything else)
differently than the Source within you sees it,
over time you became accustomed
to the discomfort of your gradual disempowerment
- until, eventually, you began looking to others for guidance,
leaving your own Guidance to face into the background.


First we will direct our response to the child in this situation,
then to the parents, and finally to you who are asking the question:

To the Child~~~

Your parents mean well.
They are mostly just trying to prepare
you for the struggles of life that they have found along their way.
Their behavior indicates that they not only do not remember who-you-are,
but they also do not remember who-they-are.
That is why their behavior is guarded.
They feel vulnerable, and they believe that you are vulnerable, too.

It would take quite a bit of explaining to your parents to help them remember;
and if they were not asking,
they would not hear anything that we have to say, anyway~~~

There is a good chance
that you will be all grown up and out of their house
before they ask, or listen, or remember.

If you are asking and listening (no matter how old you are),
then we want to tell you the most important thing
that anyone could ever tell you:
It does not matter what anyone else thinks about you.
It only matters what you think.
And if you are willing to let them think whatever they want to think
—about anything, even about you—
then you will be able to hold your thoughts steady with who-you-really-are;
and you will, in time, feel good, no matter what.

As you hear this and remember that it is true
that you are a powerful creator
who wanted to experience contrast in order to help you
decide the things that you now want,
it will help you to feel more patient
about others’ not remembering.

When you remember
that everything is responding to you and the way you feel,
and you then gain control of how you are feeling,
you will find tremendous cooperation from many different places
helping you gain control of your own experience.

When you are alone and thinking about some of the trouble
you have been in with your parents
—you are inviting more incidents of being in trouble.

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.34-35

But if, when you are alone,
you are thinking about more pleasing things
—you are not inviting more trouble.
You have much more control over the way others treat you
than you sometimes realize.
The less you think of trouble, the less of it you get.
[I again must warn strongly
of the danger of DENIAL!]

The less you think of your parents trying to control you,
the less they try to control you.
The more you think of things that please you,
the better you will feel.
The better you feel, the better things will go for you.

It feels to you
as if your parents are in charge of the way they treat you,
but that is not true.
You are in charge of the way your parents treat you; a
nd as you hear this, and practice this,
their change in behavior will be your evidence.
And the best part is
that you will be showing them (even if they do not realize it)
how to enjoy harmony by inspiring it rather than demanding it.

To the Parents ~~~

The more you see things in your child
that you do not want to see—
the more of that you will see.
The behavior that you elicit from your child
is more about you than it is about your child.

This is actually true of all of your relationships,
but since you think about your child more than most others,
your opinion about your child plays a greater role in his behavior.

If you could de-emphasize the unwanted behavior you see in your child
by ignoring it
—not replaying it over again in your mind,
not speaking to others about it,
and not worrying about it —
you would not be a continuing contributor to the unwanted behavior.
[I remember something that supports the "ignoring",
though I'm not sure, that ignoring is right in every situation:
Immanuel - perhaps at the age of 2 1/2, came home with a very dirty expression.
He said it about one hundred times, but I did not react in the slightest.
He never uttered it again, not go ME, but yes to a wagon-driver on the street.
That man complained and I advised him to do what I did: IGNORE!}

When you hold anyone or anything as your object of attention,
you are leaning in one of two directions:
toward what is wanted,
or toward what is not wanted.
If you will practice leaning toward

what is wanted when you think about your child,
you will begin
to see behavior patterns
shifting to more of what you are wanting to see.
Your child is a powerful creator
who wants to feel good and be of value.
If you do not take score in the moment and decree him otherwise,
he will rise to the goodness of his natural Being.
When you are in a state of fear, worry, anger, or frustration
—you will evoke unwanted behavior from your child.












November 5 , evening – November 6, morning, Friday,
with Immanuel, Mika, Efrat and Tomer at Shoham


My desire is – that Levi, my adopted son,
will become  a w a r e  of his abysmal hole,
the hole which still screams: I am no good,
and take time / help to wholly heal himself.

See another great desire for Levi, on his 47th birthday
on November 19, 2009

Today's e-mail quote - Abraham 1998

Your Inner Being would want you to manifest
everything that you decide that you want.
Your Inner Being would want you to know
that you have value
and the ability to have or be or do anything.
Your Inner Being would want you
to fulfill every wish and whim that you could identify.

Today I must give "attention" to something "unwanted": SLANDER of Others!
in order to "launch a rocket of what is wanted": S E L F-A C C E P T A N C E!

As an intro to this category of "giving attention" I'll quote a "conversation":
T and E mentioned the recent horrific murder of an entire family in Israel.
"Let's not talk about this!" I demanded. "This has to be talked about, too!"
I overrode E. who said: "At least you could phrase this as a quest!"

I didn't use the chance to explain, that the motive for such talk was voyerism:
  the kick which we feel, when we show us shocked by other people's crimes.
But yes, "This has to be talked about, too!" in order to grasp my role in them!

How that crime may have been the result of my own denial>fragmentation,
was well explained by Damon Toth in "As Above" - see quote on Oct. 26-27
and also in the cynical passage from the Green Book, see pp46>2002_03_23,
which I quoted despite my shame, that I delighted in that judgment of 'spiritual people'.

My first memory regarding slander has to do with pain about others being slandered.
It happened at Hechingen, where Cornelia recently had an experience with her pupils.
[See on Oct. 24-25}  Hechingen has completely restored its lovely 19th century synagogue!
Around my 9th birthday Aug. 1947 I was invited to spend my first holiday, 2 weeks,
at Hechingen  - today not farer away from "my" Stuttgart than 1 hour per train,
but then in the French Occupation Zone, while my town was in the American Zone.
The father of that family had been a colleague of my father, but ~~ was NOT killed.
Food was scarce and the meager meals eagerly awaited
("Can I have more potatoes?" "No! Your mother hasn't sent enough ration stamps!")
At one such meal guests of the Fabarius family were hosted with great joy and love.
Or so it seemed.
After they had left, a tornado of slander broke loose~~I felt terrible, horrible pain...

When I was much older, I became aware with shame, how I secretly enjoyed it,
when about an admired or envied person, famous or not, "bad things" were told.
And though I don't remember (denial!?)- I may even have passed on such stories!
What was the "kick" in this?
Self-worth, what else:!
the need to feel, that the envied person is not better than me!

This experience with my own participation in slander, be it ever so subtle,
helps me to cope with the slander exerted against me, be it ever so crude.

"Abraham" says, it is of no importance, what others think or say about me.
This is true as long as the result of the slander is only that I'm seen as bad!
My chosen belief is: "I can bear the shame, I can bear to be judged as bad!"
But what, when the slander seems to damage what I want for "the World'?
I hope, I'm not giving attention to the unwanted by giving just one example:

"They say, that you were 'evicted' from the Succah, because you quarreled with the team!"
The absurdity:
according to any law the Succah belonged to me, and I did my lekh-lekhâ from my creation,
because one condition for a "Desert-Hosting-Economy" is, that the land stays public land.

My first outcry was:
How will the world now believe in my vision about Peace through Desert Hosting Economy?
Yet even before "Abraham" I knew, that my vision will manifest in its right time.
And I saw, that slander was people's solution to the problem of their self-worth:
"Not only has this woman created something from nothing -
she then leaves it to others with not even a penny for herself."

I am sad about yet another - unaware, unconceptualized - result of self-hatred,
but since "they" are not in my personal life, it's easy to trust that they will heal.

Not easy is it, when a close co-actor in my drama "puts into his/her head",
that I - "once", years ago - "said something", which hurt the person badly,
and the hurt is such, that this beloved family-member disconnects herself.

Not only had I never "said that" - it would have been utterly absurd to have said it.
Abraham! what, if a beloved person not only chooses my very being as "contrast",
but invents "sentences", which I'm supposed to have said, in order to be triggered?

It would be alright, when the person would be aware of the trigger and heal by it.
But what, if the invention adds yet another layer of feeling a victim and unworthy?

It's in such a case, that "Abraham" would say, what at first seems cruel:
You cannot be of help to a person by identifying with the person's pain,
and it doesn't matter, if the pain is connected to what you did, said or are,
or if the person unawarely staged a trigger by imagining you said something.
Be aligned with what you DESIRE for this person, that's your way of helping!

Levi, my almost adopted son, 1970 & 1975

The example of Levi Abargil/Bar-Gil puts this theory - and my wholeness - to a test:

Levi & Ayelet flew to the US for 12 days, to teach their "Education through Dance".
"There was enormous chaos about who would take care of the little girls", told E.
{see a sculpture about the family's visit exactly on my 70th birthday, Aug. 15, 2008)
"so I asked Levi: couldn't Rachel be of some help- partly? She is so good with kids!"
"No, no, not Rachel!   She claims, that I am her adoptive son,
but when I once wanted her to become familiar with my kids,
she said: 'No! I have grandkids of my own!' I was deeply hurt."

E. was surprised: "That's impossible!   Rachel would never say something like that."
Even Talli, who hardly knows me, said: "No, can't be! Must be a misunderstanding!"
[See one of my first "Desires", phrased on September 30, 2009,
concerning the partnership between Efrat~Talli~Levi~Ayelet
At home, not only Immanuel shook his head, - even Tomer said: "ein matzav!"
Meaning: 'Under no circumstances could grandma have said a thing like that!'
{See how Levi celebrated Tomer's 8th birthday inviting Tomer's entire class!)

I was deeply shocked, and again - not so much about the slander of Christa-Rachel,
as about the pain, which Levi was and still is causing himself by this absurd belief.
Later I even asked for Efrat's support, so I could "move" and understand my pain.
It was then, that she shared much of her 3 months experience with Levi & Ayelet.
And she summarized the hidden plight of her new boss with one phrase:
"There is an abysmal hole of not-feeling-worthy, not feeling loved!"

I knew about this hole, and knowing Levi's childhood, it seems to be all too justified.
Once more I see the little boy, lying next to me in my bed, in his violent nightmares.
I would need volumes to show the victim-situation which Levi "staged" for himself..
The "CONTRAST" which Levi was determined to desire and to live,
seems to be exactly following the recommendations of "Abraham".

Not only did Levi found an empire as a teacher of dance & education through dance
- he is constantly loving and laughing, all is well, I love you, I love you , I love you!
After endless failures in finding the right wife, he did find Ayelet, the best of wives (?),
and being the same age as my son., a father of a 22 y' old daughter, has now 2 kids.
"But neither Levi nor Ayelet can bear the slightest dissonance between each other."
Levi tries to please Ayelet and Ayelet pleases Levi and always: I love you, I love you.
This dire product of the ancient hole, constantly needing to please all people around,
makes cooperation difficult: it leads to evasion of issues, and finally to bad results.

Levi (written in Hebrew and in Arabic on his "Partnership" shirt),
during a "Partnership" workshop at Herzlia, summer 1979

After all this work,
yesterday with my daughter-in-love, and now through sculpting,
I am at peace with trusting my adopted son,
that he will heal into true self-love
. [But see 2011_01_23 on the Immanuel-page ]

But I am not at all at peace with "Abraham/Hicks" and their mantra,
Be aligned with your Source, which knows that you are worthy,
and then think "loving-feeling-thoughts" as the first step
of becoming a "Vibrational Match" to your desire.

"Abraham" does never mention the need to heal holes,
the need to be aware of triggers, which I attract,
to point out a Hole in my wHoleness which now wanst to Heal.

When looking at Levi's success in business, creativity and family-
it seems, that Levi's clinging to "loving-feeling thoughts" pays off.
But what about the price?
What about the formidable denials, which fragment off from him?
And the pain which he imagined from the mother who showed him his worth,
despite the raging around her : "either me, your husband, or this forlorn boy!"
or "nobody will play with your kids, since through Levi they bring lice to us!"
doesn't it prove, that nothing has healed yet???????????????????

What do you have to say to that pain, "Abraham!"
Open your mouth, Esther Hicks, let "Abraham" come forward!






November 7 , evening – November 8, morning, Sunday,
with Efrat and Mika at Shoham. Immanuel went on flight to New-York this night


My desire is, that Tomer – today 15 years old - may love himself
for all-he-is by nature! and for all he has gone through and learnt!
And in the realm of his skills in body , music and dance – I yearn,
that he may limit 'consumerism' and strive to expand his creation.

Among the new - joy-causing - experiences with Tomer,
is his delight in learning Tecktonik Dancing
He began his usual Internet-Music-sharing with me::

"This time I shall show you something
in a realm I've never shown you before:

(Indeed, since "his period" of "Parkour", I hadn't seen him do any body work..)
He let me read the article in Wikipedia, and then opened different youtube videos,
focusing mainly on a tutorial with a Chinese (?) boy.
I now found videos with white dancers, with Korean boys,
and a Korean girl in a mini-bus

One tutorial appears in "Daily MOTION",
a video sharing service website like "youtube"
(another aspect of "Heaven-on-Earth", this sharing1)
Virtual teaching is often done on the background of a private bedroom,
"they simply film themselves and upload it to youtube.".
This technical possibility of "spreading what I create",
together with the universality of the dancers
enhanced my delight in the dance itself,
the more so, when Tomer showed me his own exercises (
"very difficult"),
which he refuses to show or even talk about with any other family member.

Of course, it was out of the question to take a photo of his tecktonik dancing!
I must be content with the pictures of our family's celebration of his birthday.

Finally I sent an SMS to Tomer announcing my desire
and adding: May you on this day feel
Grate-Full-ness, Zest-Full-ness and Full-Fill-ment!

See more images of Tomer's birthday celebration in the sequence of "Mika's Heaven-on-Earth"

November 6, 2009computer screen Shoham

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.35-36
When you are in a state of love, appreciation, eagerness, or fun—
you will evoke wanted behavior from your child.
You child was not born to please you.
You were not born to please your parents.

To You Who Are Asking the Question ~~~
Do not worry about a child losing freedom to unknowing parents,
and do not worry about unknowing parents losing freedom to their children. Understand that all of them wanted the experience of co-creating
in order to come to a new awareness of desire.

Just see them all as having Step One (asking) experiences
where they are continually clarifying what they want.

Through feeling parental domination, the child gives birth to desires about . . .
~~~ greater freedom.
~~~ being appreciated.
~~~ appreciating others more.
~~~ independence.
~~~opportunities to expand.
~~~ opportunities to excel.

Through offering parental control, the parent gives birth to desires about . . .
~~~ having more freedom.
~~~ experiencing more cooperation.
~~~ the child having a good life.

~~~ the child being ready for the world
he will step out into
one day.
~~~ being understood.
In other words, this co-creative, contrasting experience
is causing everyone involved
to launch more rockets of desire

and therefore to Vibrationally expand to those new places.

... Before your birth,
you relished the idea of the contrasting relationships
that would cause your expansion,
and whenever you allow your own catching up with that expansion,
you will then bless the seeming struggle that made it so.

Will the Law of Attraction Do Household Chores?
Would you elaborate a little more on ways in which family members could harmoniously share in the responsibilities of common home maintenance
and help with the general flow of the activities of the family,
and still maintain their individual feeling of freedom.

When you speak of responsibilities, you are usually speaking of action,
and we certainly understand
that there are plenty of action responsibilities to be shared
in the making and managing and maintaining of a home environment.
And we also understand how it seems logical to most people
that when there are a specific number of things that need to be done
and there are a specific number of people to share those tasks,
an action regimen seems logical.
The thing that usually goes wrong in such situations
is that the people who are assigning the activities of the family
are often doing so from a personal place of imbalance
—not out of balance
because of the amount of work that they are personally doing,
but because of the resentment they feel
about having to do more than what they feel is their fair share,
or the frustration they feel
about the work not being done the way they want it to be done. . .
. Even though we are talking
about taking action to organize and maintain the home,
it is still necessary to find personal alignment first.
Which leads us to another flawed premise:

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.37-38

Flawed Premise #7:
With enough effort, or hard work,
I can accomplish anything.

When you are Vibrationally out of balance with your desired results,
there is not enough action in the world to compensate.

Without working to achieve Vibrational alignment with what you really want,
but instead, offering action to push against, or fix, existing problems,
the Law of Attraction will bring you
a steady stream of problems to fix—
and you will never get out ahead of them.
If you are focused upon problems—
the Law of Attraction will bring problems to you
faster than you can fix them.
If you are focused upon a disorganized home—
the Law of Attraction
will bring more experiences of disorder, disruption, and problems
than you can keep up with.

In simple terms,
the power of the Law of Attraction’s response to your Vibration
will always be stronger than your ability to keep up in terms of action.

You just cannot get there from there.
The only way to bring order to your life or your home
—or your relationships—
is to tap the powerful leverage of Energy alignment.
And when you do, things that were formerly a struggle
will seem to flow effortlessly.

Unless you are able to let go
of your chronic awareness of unfinished tasks
and uncooperative family members,

you will never be able to elicit good-feeling cooperation from others.
You have to find the feeling-place of a cooperative home
that is organized and good-feeling
before you can inspire that behavior from others.
The people in your life will always give you exactly what you expect.
No exceptions.

Many people tell us that they believe
that their negative expectations were born from observing negative behavior,
and not the other way around.
“I didn’t expect my son to refuse to take out the garbage
until he consistently refused to take out the garbage.”

You can find yourself in an endless loop
where you explain
that you feel negative because of the negative behavior of someone else.
But if, instead, you take control of your own emotions
and you think an improved thought because it feels better to do so,
you will discover that no matter how the negative trend got started,
you can turn it around.
You have no real control of what anyone else is doing with their Vibration
(or with their actions, for that matter),
but you have complete control over
your own thoughts, Vibrations, emotions, and point of attraction.

You must first find harmony between you and You,
and then, and only then, is any other harmony possible.
And when you consistently achieve harmony between you and You
(which is what we refer to as the state of allowing),
then it is possible to find harmony with others
even though you have disagreements.
In fact,
that is the perfect environment for expansion and joy:
diversity of beliefs and desires
—but alignment with Source.


Relationships are usually better in the beginning
because you are both looking for things you want to see.
"I love you, because you cause me to love myself"
This is very very true and I heard it the first time,
when I listened to a speech of Martin Buber in the radio,
while still in Germany - Christmas 1963!]
And so, your expectation
is usually more positive in the beginning of your relationship.
Also, looking for positive aspects
is a powerful tool in finding your own harmony, or alignment with Self.
[But see - in the left frame - how this
- sometimes or often or always! -
is reached by monstrous denial!]

In the beginning, you both probably think
that the wonderful way you feel is
because of the harmony you have discovered with the other person,
when what has actually happened is
that you are using one another as your positive reason
to find harmony with who-you-really-are.
The Source within you only sees positive aspects in your partner,
and whenever you are finding positive aspects,
you are in alignment with


What If One Doesn’t Want the Relationship to End?
Jerry: But what if your desires are really different from those of your mate?
What if one of you has decided to bring your relationship to an end
and the other wants it to continue?

We understand how that may seem like “different desires,”
but actually there is a powerful mutual desire
at the heart of what both people want:
the desire to feel better.
One believes that the action of separation is the most likely path to feeling better, while the other believes that staying together is the path.
Let us begin this discussion by pointing out another flawed premise,
which is a big part of the basis of confusion on this issue

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.40

Flawed Premise #9:
The path to my joy is through my action.
When I am feeling bad,
I can get to a better-feeling place by taking action.
I can focus upon a situation
that I think is the reason I am feeling bad,
and walk away from it.
And once away from it, I will feel better.
I can get to what I want by leaving what I don’t want.

... the belief that another person is “making” you happy is incorrect.
Your happiness is your natural state of being.
The correct understanding is
that you are using this currently pleasant person
as your reason not to focus yourself away from who-you-really are;
Your true happiness happens
when you discover that no one other than yourself
is responsible for the way you feel.
If you believe
that others are responsible for the way you feel,
you are in true bondage,

because you cannot control
how they behave or how they feel.

It is natural that you would want to remove yourself
from things that do not feel good,
but in an inclusion-based Universe, that is not possible.
You cannot focus upon unwanted things—
and therefore activate the unwanted in your Vibration
—and get away from it,
because the pulling power of the Law of Attraction
is stronger than any action that you may offer.
As you walk away from one unpleasant situation,
the Law of Attraction will bring another
that feels very much like it, and usually quickly.
... To get to where you want to be—to that place of feeling better-
you have to reach for alignment between you and You

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.41

A Thirty Minute Energy-Alignment Process

and sit for five or ten minutes
writing a list of things you appreciate about your life.
In doing this Energy-alignment work,
your point of attraction will not only yield to you
activities and rendezvous with goodfeeling people, places, and things
—but your ability to experience the delicious depth of them
will be dramatically enhanced.

Rather than doing things and going places to try to make yourself feel good,
deliberately get to feeling good
—and let those things and people and places come to you.

It is possible that once you come into alignment with who-you-really-are,
you will gravitate to a different relationship.
But it is also likely that the relationship that you are already in
was attracted from your point of being in alignment to begin with,
and now that you have achieved alignment again,
it will renew itself for you.
In any case, getting yourself feeling good before you take any action
is always the best process;
and when you do not feel good,
you cannot be inspired to any action that will solve the problem.


November 8, 2009computer screen Shoham

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.42-43

Is There One Perfect Person for Me?
If you are feeling lonely or frustrated about not yet meeting your mate,
you are not a match to your Vibrational Reality,
and so your rendezvous is postponed.
When you are envious of others who have wonderful relationships,
you are not a match to your Vibrational Reality,
and so your rendezvous is postponed.
If you are remembering past unpleasing relationships
and using those as your justification for wanting or needing a better one,
you are a match to what you do not want,
and what you do want is postponed.
But if you can bring yourself to a place of consistently feeling good,
even in the absence of the relationship that you desire,
the rendezvous is certain. In fact, it is Law.

The “perfection” of that partner means
that your partner matches the things
that your life has caused you to ask for,
but the finding of that partner
hinges upon you becoming a match to those desires first.

You cannot find your perfect mate from your awareness
that your mate is missing from your life.
You have to find a way
to no longer offer the Vibration of a “missing partner.”

In the same way
that from the sifting through your now physical experience,
you are continually launching new desires -
you also launched desires about your physical experience
from your Non-Physical vantage point before your bitrh~~~
sometimes those desires, or intentions,
did include such specific things
as creative traints or talents,
specific things you wanted to do,
or specific people you intended to co-create with.
A “Soul Mate” would be such a person.
But …every person with whom you share your planet
is a sort of soul mate.
And the feeling of Connection that people are looking for,
the exhilaration of being with someone with their hearts soaring,
really is not a function of the person you are with,
but instead it is a function of your own Connection with You.
We would prefer to think of Soul Mate
as you mating, or consciously Connecting,
with your own Soul or Source or Inner Being or Self.
When you, in your physical moment and time,
are offering a similar Vibration to that of your Inner Being,
you have indeed found your Soul Mate.
And if you consistently do that,
the people who will gravitate to you
will be enormously satisfying in nature.

The number one thing that prevents people
from rendezwousing immediately with their perfect mate
is simply their awareness and discomfort about not yet finding one.
Remind yourself, often, that you have done the work,
you have clarified your desire,
you have shot off the rockets of desire,

Source is tending to those combined wishes,
the Law of Attraction has organized the circumstances and events
through which the rendezvous will occur,
and now your work (your only work) is to stop doing that thing you do
that prevents your meeting.

[Compare this advice with Godchannel's advice on
"Divine Romantic Love"!
a precious chapter
in "Old Heart-New Heart",

channeled in June 2008

If we were standing in your physical shoes,
we would remind ourselves
that we have already done the work of specifying and asking.
We would accept that the creation is already accomplished.
It is done!
And then we would think about it only for the sake of the pleasure of the thougth.
When the moment of thought is blissful and satisfying
- without the contradictory energy
of trying to make something that has not yet happened, happen -
your Vibration is pure and powerful,
and your creation can easily flow without hindrance.


November 8 , evening – November 9, morning, Monday,

with Efrat and Mika at Shoham.

71 years ago, 80 days after Christa's birth,
the pogrom of the "Crystal Night"
tore open the Hell of Deity's/Humans' GAPs

20 years ago, the Fall of the Berlin Wall
opened a porthole aeshnav into Heaven-on-Earth


My desire is ~~ that the small porthole to Heaven-on-Earth
which opened with the Fall of the Berlin Wall 20 years ago,
- 51 years after the gates-of horror to Hell were torn open -
will expand following the journey of four of my loved ones

[see also Oct. 26-27, 2009- the symbolic image with Shira and Yahel]

"Broken Heart"

See the sequence of scenes, which I cropped from some 14 videos,
prepared by the "Documentation-Team" of the 3 Democratic Schools,
which took part in this year's voyage of the pupils of Israel to Poland.

2009_11_09, early morning
This night it came to me, that I must finally -update- that pretty page!
For something much more practical and effective has evolved in time:

Whenever I become aware of one of those nebulous feelings of discomfort,
also in nightly hours, when sleep escapes, and I try "desperately" to sleep,
I inhale "God" and extend~~extend~~extend to the utmost my breathing-in
and then - with body's relief of exhaling - I embrace the feeling and love it!
This "alignment with Source" results in feelings of wholeness and content!

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.44-45
How Does One Find the Perfect Business Partner?

Flawed Premise #10:
I cannot have everything that I desire,
so I have to give up some things that are important to me in order to get others.

By focusing upon the wanted characteristics
of those around you,
you train your Vibrational offering
to match only the best in them—

and then the Law of Attraction
can no longer match you up with the worst in them.
When you focus upon the worst of them,
and train your Vibrational offering to match only the worst in them—
the Law of Attraction can no longer match you up with the best of them.

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.46-47
Who is Best Qualified to Govern Us?

...if you focus upon something that your government,...
is doing that pleases you
—then you are not resistant to the things
you have chosen by the living of your life.
But if you are bothered by something you see
and are chronically pushing against it,
you then use that unwanted thing as your reason
to hold yourself in resistance to what you have chosen.
Appreciate your government, or any other, in every way you can;
Jerry: So how would you envision the perfect form of government for us here?

It would be a government
that allows you freedom to be or do or have as you want.
And that will come only when there is an understanding
of how you are getting what you are getting.

What is our natural relationship with the Animals?

... What humans refer to as an animal’s “instinct,”
we call an animal’s “state of alignment with Broader Perspective.”
Evidence of the alignment of the physical animal
with its Broader Non-Physical counterpart is all around you,
and so you accept it as animal behavior or “instinct,”
when what you are actually witnessing is a physical animal
who, because it is offering no resistance,
has full access to the Broader Perspective,
and who understands, always, the larger picture

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.49

In the Process of Creation there are three steps:
• First: Ask.
(And the contrast of life experience causes you to do that.)
• Second: Answer.

(That is not the work of you from your physical perspective,
but, instead, the work of Non-Physical Source Energy.)

• Third: Allow.
(You must find a way to be a Vibrational Match to what you are asking for or you will not allow it into your experience
even though the answer is available for you.)

Addition on April 8, 2010:
This very concise advice from "Process Coaching"
[based on Right Use of Will and Godchannel]
complements what's missing in "Abraham"!
The article with its links needs to be read in the original

continuation of "My daily Desire" in
"Michael about Right Use of Will