3 - DeRohan, Ceanne - ORIGINAL CAUSE 2,
THE REFLECTION LOST WILL HAS TO GIVE,
Locating the gap between Spirit's vision and reality on earth.
182 pages ~~~Four Winds Publications, Sante Fe, New Mexico, 1987

October 31 , evening – November 1, morning, Sunday,
at Arad , alone in my castle

I've been waiting to begin this third page of sculpting one DESIRE on each day
with a desire, which - even after 30 years - I cannot even get into exact focus!

To use "Abraham's" language, the phenomenon and intensity of what I don't want,
is so overpowering, that until this hour, I cannot even see clearly what I Do want.

I, therefore, shall take time and space to circle-orbit the "phenomenon",
before "launching the rocket of a desire", even if only the draft of a desire.


The pain I felt, when listening to an old tape with David Morris' two moving songs,
pain that this good songwriter & singer was never "received" by the Internet-world.

The pain I felt now, when Moshe Klein, my friend, forwarded a refusal-letter to me:
an essay which explained his mathematical insights was not seen fit for publication!

The pain I feel, whenever a child or a grownup - a family member or any person - ,
sits around a dinner-table and wants to say something, but is overridden by another,

a pain which epitomizes the question which has been torturing me for 35 years:
what about people's "Cain":
wanting to give,
but there is no one to receive?

Kajin brought , from the fruit of the soil, a gift to YHWH
...for Kayin and his gift he had no regard. [Genesis 4:3-5, Fox]

see a dialog with "God" about "not being received" in Godchannel

addition in January 2013 on my recorder, copied from there on Jan.12, 2014: the reason for the gap between what people want to create and give and what people can receive:

and see my 5 sculptures about Kayin & Hevel 7 years ago:



I've well healed the emotional hole in my wholeness: the Cain in myself.
At least, when the hole is triggered , I can breathe, sigh and then laugh!
But when I "believe" that another's "Cain" is triggered, I can not laugh!
And mainly, it drives me crazy, that I do not understand even in theory,
how the udders of the cow ~~overflowing, exploding with milk to GIVE,
can ever be emptied by calves whose capacity to drink is sooo limited!
Why is there such a horrid, illogical disproportion
between the amount of what people want to give,
the fruits
of their WISDOM, of their CREATIVITY, of their LOVE,
and the amount of what humans are able to receive?

I cannot "desire", that the abundance of myself or others will be received!
This would be like desiring that God make a stone too heavy for him to lift!
"God", too, would like to give all s/he has learnt through evolution at once,
but how then would "EXPANSION" through us in time-space reality go on?

When I said to Yanina - during our routine phone-talk on Shabbat morning -
that the worst part of my pain about 'Cain' was my identification with others,
"or more correct my projection on others",
she, the Jungian psycho-therapist, said:
"a projection always finds a hook in the other
on which to hang on my kitbag."
In this very second of hearing the word "hook",
- while climbing down the steepest passage to my "Wadi of Compassion" -
I had bent down to once again put back the strap into the hook of my sandal,
but this time in vain, the hook had widened too much and was about to break.

Amaced by this funny coincidence I had an insight and shared it with Yanina:
"Whenever my bladder will feel squeezed
because another person doesn't get enough attention
I'll first breathe and let go of the part, which is nothing but my projection
and then I'll "pray", i.e. give all my heart's attention to the other person,
desiring for him/her - that s/he may learn to receive him/herself. "

Self-Acceptance would solve Cain's problem of needing others' receiving
in order to appreciate, acknowledge, love him/herself..
It might heal the pain "of not being received",
and from their the re-action of Cain, symbolic for humankind's entire history,
will fall away: no need to kill others, no need for wars.
Again and again I'm quoting that line in the song of a soldier in "Wallenstein":
"Nur im Felde da ist der Mann noch was wert",
Only in battle is the man still worth anything".
This was not quoted, but exemplified today - by horrible numbers and images
connected to the Thirty Year War, of which a doc was seen on channel 3SAT.
What was new and adding another layer of pain to all that's connected to War:
the role of the women as it comes to light in the diary of an anonymous soldier.
"without the work of the soldiers' female companions in the camps etc.
no war could have taken place or be carried through!"
This soldier's woman delivered 4 babies- only to be carried to the grave after birth.

But even if I myself become more and more whole
and won't need that anybody receives my FRUITS,
and even if the "hook" in others will be taken care of
by focusing on what I do want for the other person,
(instead of identifying with his real or projected pain)
even then my thinking feels troubled by that question.

MY DESIRE TODAY The second and third line are rooted so much in Biblical language, that any translation will be poor. My desire is – that I may finally understand the purpose of the disproportion between a human's need to GIVE from "the fruit of his soil" to other humans and the limitedness of us humans to RECEIVE the fruit of another's creation.

There was a partial answer the next day:
Not to my outspoken question about "the purpose of the fact",
but to the unasked question about "how to deal with the fact"
at least in the realm of my personal experience:
If I see myself as more than a limited aspect in physical time-space-reality,
- if I see myself as who-I-really-am, which is a hologram of all-that-is,
then I can see all-of-creation as well as "all-that-is" as the receiver
of my wisdom, my creations, my love!
In other words:
If my ego is no longer dependent on being received by another human being!
and if I truly trust that "my fellows" will learn to receive themselves as I do!
and there will be left "only" the question about what to do with my overflow,
there is an answer,
which I got already some time after my son suggested to establish a website:
the Internet is a limitless space-time container for all I desire to give-convey.
In the beginning, yes, I had the illusion that Healing-kiss would bring me peers

But now I understand and accept, that even in the virtual realm
I and my "overflow" can be digested only in homeopathic doses,
and I managed to let go of my expectations, because I now know,
that I don't have to do or say or write anything to attract my peers.
When the time will come - they will appear
See Puzzle-Pieces 2b, PEERS> Maryam, 2002/03/17; 2007_11_22
"I'm happy about the "peerdance", which we completed today,
in delightful cooperation, my son Immanuel and I."

 

 

 

 

November 1 , evening – November 2, morning, Monday,
at Arad , alone in my castle- I delight in my song

The Cain-Symbol was exacerbated in another programs in 3SAT's "theme-day"
"Germany".
The miracle of Berne : the 1954 FIFA [Football] World Cup Final,
"The 1954 victory is regarded as a turning point in post-war German history
due to being the first feeling of success for a beaten nation, living in a destroyed country
the first time since the Second World War the German national anthem was played in public."
The doc often used the term, that at my time (until 1964) did not exist in German:
"Selbstwertgefuehl", "The Feeling of Self-worth", or my term: "of Self-Esteem".
It also showed the shadows of the ecstasis of the national Feeling of Self-Worth:
the horrible reactions in Hungary and the dire consequences for the ball-players.
It was NOT associated to what I've always seen as the real reason for "Nazism":
The German nation, humiliated after World War I much more than after WW II,
divulged a monster which in ever so many ways returned the Selbstwertgefuehl,
and not only by exalting the German "race" on the dark foil of "Untermenschen".

 

MY DESIRE TODAY My desire has been - with all my heart and all my soul for 35 years - that every man and woman would heal the "Cain and Abel" in them, Cain killed "his fellow" because he did not feel worthy, Abel let himself be killed because he did not feel worthy. My desire is that Wo/Man will learn to accept whatever s/he feels and first of all his/her greatness, who s/he really is!

From my page about healing "Cain" 2002, including my song of 1984

What can be "the good-feeling-thoughts"
as stepping-stones towards total self-acceptance?
In 2002 I suggested and still suggest today:

Then will stand up "the bruised reed" and will live;
then again will shine "the dark wick"!
See two other songs, where "Cain" is mentioned:
"The movement of the sea is the wave" and "Bat-Adam"

 

 

 

You said, “I will go forth, into a sea of contrast;
and from it, more ideas will be born.”

 

 

 

 

my family in 1975

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.14-15
Your Relationship with Your Parents

Flawed premises,
around your relationships with your parents.

From your Non-Physical vantage point, you understood
that your physical parents
would be your important avenue into physical experience,
and that you would be born into a stable enough environment
to be able to get your physical footing. …
But you did not intend to look to them
to determine your life’s purpose for you,
or for guidance about the correctness or effectiveness
of your physical journey.
…,

when you were first born into your physical body, the relationship
between you and You (your Non-Physical Inner Being) was such
that you were nearly still that One Pure, Positive Energy.
But in those very first new days in your physical body,
you began to experience a gradual shift in your own Consciousness

… as the new infant in your mother’s arms,
you had two Vibrational vantage points active within you
—and so, you then began to feel emotions.
Since you just came from an environment
where you had absolute knowledge of the Well-Being
of the Universe and of planet Earth and of All-That-Is,
when your mother held you
and worried about you—
you felt uncomfortable.
When your parents felt overwhelmed with their lives—
you felt uncomfortable.
When they gazed at you in pure love and appreciation—
you felt the alignment of their Beings,
and you felt comfort.
But, even in your infancy, you remembered
that it was not their job
to shine their alignment on you.
You remembered, even then—even before you could talk or walk—
that it was not their job
to provide a haven of comfort and aligned Energy for you.
You knew it was your job,
and you knew you would figure it out.
And, meanwhile,
you were able to easily withdraw back into the alignment of your Oneness—
and so you slept.
Often.
You came into this physical environment knowing
that you would be surrounded by contrast right from the beginning,
and that this contrast
would provide the nucleus of the creation
of your own life experience.
You understood
that just by being present in this Earth environment,
you would automatically find your own preferences,
and that both wanted and unwanted aspects
would be of benefit to you.
And, most of all, you knew that you would be the one (the only one)
who would (or could) choose for you.
However, by the time you came into the life experience of your parents,
they had (in most cases) all but forgotten that about you.
Which brings us to another flawed premise:

Flawed Premise #2:

my parents,
because they were herelong before I was born,
and because they are my parents,
know better than I do what is right or wrong for me.

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.16

You did not intend to use the opinions of your parents
to measure against your beliefs, desires, or actions
in order to determine the appropriateness of them.
Instead, you knew (and still remembered, long after you were born)
that it was the relationship
between the opinion (or knowledge) of the Source within you
and your current thoughts, in any moment,
that would offer you perfect guidance in the form of emotions.
…
Of course, it is possible
to have a wonderful, effective relationship with your parents
if you first find the alignment between you and You.
But, unless you have achieved alignment between you and You,
no other relationship can be a good one.

 

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.17
Your Relationship with Your Siblings

Instead of achieving their alignment with who-they-really-are,
they are asking you to behave in a way that makes them feel better.
That is what conditional love is:
“If you will change your behavior or condition,
then as I observe it, I will feel better.
So I am giving you the responsibility for the way I feel.”


When the second child enters the mix,
not only is there now more behavior for your parents to attempt to control,
but an even more confusing thing occurs for you:
now, not only are you considering your own behavior
in relationship to your parents’ response to what you are doing,
but you are observing the way
your parents are responding to the behavior of the other child.
The potential for distortion and confusion exponentially expands
with each new person who enters the mix.
Trying to achieve your proper personal behavior
is not possible through trying to adjust
to the desires and demands of the people you live with.
There is simply too much variety
in personality, interest, intention,and life purpose
coming in for you to sort it out on a behavior level.


But there is something you can do
that will bring each of these relationships
into perspective and satisfaction for you:
Seek alignment between you and You, first,
before you engage with any other.
And never ask for a behavioral change from any other
to use as your basis of improved emotion or perspective.
There are simply too many moving parts,
and you will not succeed.

[Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.14-15Pages 17 till 28:
in "LEARNING & LIVING TODAY, April 2005]

 

 

Efrat with Tomer and Yael 2001

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.28-29

The opposite was your intention.
You said, “I will go forth,
into a sea of contrast;
and from it,
more ideas will be born.”
You understood that joyous expansion would be born from diversity.
But as you attempt to control them (through influence or coercion),
you discover that not only can you not contain them—
but your attention to them brings more like them into your experience.
Your current society
is waging a war against illegal drugs, a war against poverty,
a war against crime, a war against teenage pregnancy,
a war against cancer, a war against AIDS,
a war against terrorism . . .
and all of them are getting bigger.
You simply cannot get to where you want to be
by controlling or eliminating the unwanted.

The flawed premise
“My group’s/our way of life is the only correct way,
therefore all other ways must be stopped,
because when I look at what I do not agree with, I feel bad”

is the basis of the majority of unhappiness on your planet.
Not only do those being pushed against feel the pain,
but those doing the pushing feel it as well.
In fact, the unhappiest,least fulfilled among you
are those who are pushing against others,
because, in doing so,
you are disallowing the most important relationship of all:
the relationship between you and You.

 

While it was your intention
for new desires to be born within you
and to accomplish those desires,
you had no intention of hindering, in any way,
the desires of others.
You knew that this world is big enough for everyone
to create their own desires.
And you were not worried
about being hindered
by your observation of their creations
(even if you did not like what you saw)
because you knew
y ou had the power to focus upon what is wanted.
And so, ridding your world of your personal unwanted
was not necessary.
You intended to decide what you want
and, by the power of your focus
and the Law of Attraction,
to attract it—
and to allow all others to do the same.
You understood that diversity
not only provides the basis
of your strength and of your expansion,
but of your very existence—
because if there is not expansion,
existence cannot continue to be.

Do We Have Power to Influence Others
Rather Than Control Them?

When someone seeks control over another person, or over a situation,
they never achieve it,
because in the attitude of control
there is such a big component of knowing what you do not want
that your Vibration and point of attraction
are working in opposition to your actual desire.
Even though you may join forces with others
to push against the unwanted,
and even when it appears
that your forces have overwhelmed the opposing forces,
you never actually gain control—
but, instead, you enhance, or add to, your attraction of more unwanted.
The faces and places may change,
but more unwanted keeps coming,
and you find no sustainable control.

 

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.30

...
But there is an even more important distinction
than the one between influence and control,
and that is the distinction between trying to get to where you want to be
from your awareness of what you do not want,
as compared to getting to where you want to be
from your awareness of what you do want.
The first is more about trying to motivate another to a different behavior;
the latter is more about inspiring another to a different behavior

In your effort at motivation,
because you are focused upon what you do not want,
you do not have the benefit or help of your true power.
But when you are focused completely upon what you do want—
thereby releasing all resistance or opposition to your own desire—
you are engaging the Energy that creates worlds,
and your power of influence is mighty.
In your connection to, and allowance of, your true power,
your influence
to bring others into their own power
is great.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

November 5, 2009 Immanuel & Tomer, 2002

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.30-32

How do we harmonize a diverse family?

.....
You eagerly came into this physical time-space reality
because it is the Leading Edge of creation
and you are a creator.
You adored the idea of focusing on this world of contrast
because you understood the value
the contrast would have in helping you, a creator, to focus and create.
You understood
that your own life would draw from you continual new ideas,
and that, by the power of your focus,
those ideas could become “reality,”
as it is known in the physical world.
And you knew the joy of choosing, focusing,
and allowing the creative manifestations.
You knew that, in every moment,
you would be able to feel the degree of Vibrational alignment
you were achieving
between your current thoughts
and the understanding
that the Source within you has on the same subject at the same time,
and you understood
that those feelings
of positive and negative emotion
would be the sole source
of your guidance
to help you create
and discover
and expand
along your Eternal path of becoming.

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.32-33

While it never feels good to you to view yourself (or anything else)
differently than the Source within you sees it,
over time you became accustomed
to the discomfort of your gradual disempowerment
- until, eventually, you began looking to others for guidance,
leaving your own Guidance to face into the background.
...

First we will direct our response to the child in this situation,
then to the parents, and finally to you who are asking the question:

To the Child~~~

Your parents mean well.
They are mostly just trying to prepare
you for the struggles of life that they have found along their way.
Their behavior indicates that they not only do not remember who-you-are,
but they also do not remember who-they-are.
That is why their behavior is guarded.
They feel vulnerable, and they believe that you are vulnerable, too.

It would take quite a bit of explaining to your parents to help them remember;
and if they were not asking,
they would not hear anything that we have to say, anyway~~~
There is a good chance
that you will be all grown up and out of their house
before they ask, or listen, or remember.

If you are asking and listening (no matter how old you are),
then we want to tell you the most important thing
that anyone could ever tell you:
It does not matter what anyone else thinks about you.
It only matters what you think.
And if you are willing to let them think whatever they want to think
—about anything, even about you—
then you will be able to hold your thoughts steady with who-you-really-are;
and you will, in time, feel good, no matter what.

As you hear this and remember that it is true
that you are a powerful creator
who wanted to experience contrast in order to help you
decide the things that you now want,
it will help you to feel more patient
about others’ not remembering.
When you remember
that everything is responding to you and the way you feel,
and you then gain control of how you are feeling,
you will find tremendous cooperation from many different places
helping you gain control of your own experience.

When you are alone and thinking about some of the trouble
you have been in with your parents
—you are inviting more incidents of being in trouble.


Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.34-35

But if, when you are alone,
you are thinking about more pleasing things
—you are not inviting more trouble.
You have much more control over the way others treat you
than you sometimes realize.
The less you think of trouble, the less of it you get.
[I again must warn strongly
of the danger of DENIAL!]
The less you think of your parents trying to control you,
the less they try to control you.
The more you think of things that please you,
the better you will feel.
The better you feel, the better things will go for you.

It feels to you
as if your parents are in charge of the way they treat you,
but that is not true.
You are in charge of the way your parents treat you; a
nd as you hear this, and practice this,
their change in behavior will be your evidence.
And the best part is
that you will be showing them (even if they do not realize it)
how to enjoy harmony by inspiring it rather than demanding it.

To the Parents ~~~

The more you see things in your child
that you do not want to see—
the more of that you will see.
The behavior that you elicit from your child
is more about you than it is about your child.
This is actually true of all of your relationships,
but since you think about your child more than most others,
your opinion about your child plays a greater role in his behavior.

If you could de-emphasize the unwanted behavior you see in your child
by ignoring it
—not replaying it over again in your mind,
not speaking to others about it,
and not worrying about it —
you would not be a continuing contributor to the unwanted behavior.
[I remember something that supports the "ignoring",
though I'm not sure, that ignoring is right in every situation:
Immanuel - perhaps at the age of 2 1/2, came home with a very dirty expression.
He said it about one hundred times, but I did not react in the slightest.
He never uttered it again, not go ME, but yes to a wagon-driver on the street.
That man complained and I advised him to do what I did: IGNORE!}

When you hold anyone or anything as your object of attention,
you are leaning in one of two directions:
toward what is wanted,
or toward what is not wanted.
If you will practice leaning toward
what is wanted when you think about your child,
you will begin to see behavior patterns
shifting to more of what you are wanting to see.
Your child is a powerful creator
who wants to feel good and be of value.
If you do not take score in the moment and decree him otherwise,
he will rise to the goodness of his natural Being.
When you are in a state of fear, worry, anger, or frustration
—you will evoke unwanted behavior from your child.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

November 5 , evening – November 6, morning, Friday,
with Immanuel, Mika, Efrat and Tomer at Shoham

MY DESIRE TODAY My desire is – that Levi, my adopted son, will become  a w a r e  of his abysmal hole, the hole which still screams: I am no good, and take time / help to wholly heal himself. See another great desire for Levi, on his 47th birthday on November 19, 2009

Today's e-mail quote - Abraham 1998 Your Inner Being would want you to manifest everything that you decide that you want. Your Inner Being would want you to know that you have value and the ability to have or be or do anything. Your Inner Being would want you to fulfill every wish and whim that you could identify.

Today I must give "attention" to something "unwanted": SLANDER of Others!
in order to "launch a rocket of what is wanted": S E L F-A C C E P T A N C E!

As an intro to this category of "giving attention" I'll quote a "conversation":
T and E mentioned the recent horrific murder of an entire family in Israel.
"Let's not talk about this!" I demanded. "This has to be talked about, too!"
"No!" I overrode E. who said: "At least you could phrase this as a quest!"

I didn't use the chance to explain, that the motive for such talk was voyerism:
  the kick which we feel, when we show us shocked by other people's crimes.
But yes, "This has to be talked about, too!" in order to grasp my role in them!

How that crime may have been the result of my own denial>fragmentation,
was well explained by Damon Toth in "As Above" - see quote on Oct. 26-27
and also in the cynical passage from the Green Book, see pp46>2002_03_23,
which I quoted despite my shame, that I delighted in that judgment of 'spiritual people'.

My first memory regarding slander has to do with pain about others being slandered.
It happened at Hechingen, where Cornelia recently had an experience with her pupils.
[See on Oct. 24-25}  Hechingen has completely restored its lovely 19th century synagogue!
Around my 9th birthday Aug. 1947 I was invited to spend my first holiday, 2 weeks,
at Hechingen  - today not farer away from "my" Stuttgart than 1 hour per train,
but then in the French Occupation Zone, while my town was in the American Zone.
The father of that family had been a colleague of my father, but ~~ was NOT killed.
Food was scarce and the meager meals eagerly awaited
("Can I have more potatoes?" "No! Your mother hasn't sent enough ration stamps!")
At one such meal guests of the Fabarius family were hosted with great joy and love.
Or so it seemed.
After they had left, a tornado of slander broke loose~~I felt terrible, horrible pain...

When I was much older, I became aware with shame, how I secretly enjoyed it,
when about an admired or envied person, famous or not, "bad things" were told.
And though I don't remember (denial!?)- I may even have passed on such stories!
What was the "kick" in this?
Self-worth, what else:!
the need to feel, that the envied person is not better than me!


This experience with my own participation in slander, be it ever so subtle,
helps me to cope with the slander exerted against me, be it ever so crude.

"Abraham" says, it is of no importance, what others think or say about me.
This is true as long as the result of the slander is only that I'm seen as bad!
My chosen belief is: "I can bear the shame, I can bear to be judged as bad!"
But what, when the slander seems to damage what I want for "the World'?
I hope, I'm not giving attention to the unwanted by giving just one example:

"They say, that you were 'evicted' from the Succah, because you quarreled with the team!"
The absurdity:
according to any law the Succah belonged to me, and I did my lekh-lekhâ from my creation,
because one condition for a "Desert-Hosting-Economy" is, that the land stays public land.
My first outcry was:
How will the world now believe in my vision about Peace through Desert Hosting Economy?
Yet even before "Abraham" I knew, that my vision will manifest in its right time.
And I saw, that slander was people's solution to the problem of their self-worth:
"Not only has this woman created something from nothing -
she then leaves it to others with not even a penny for herself."

I am sad about yet another - unaware, unconceptualized - result of self-hatred,
but since "they" are not in my personal life, it's easy to trust that they will heal.

Not easy is it, when a close co-actor in my drama "puts into his/her head",
that I - "once", years ago - "said something", which hurt the person badly,
and the hurt is such, that this beloved family-member disconnects herself.

Not only had I never "said that" - it would have been utterly absurd to have said it.
Abraham! what, if a beloved person not only chooses my very being as "contrast",
but invents "sentences", which I'm supposed to have said, in order to be triggered?

It would be alright, when the person would be aware of the trigger and heal by it.
But what, if the invention adds yet another layer of feeling a victim and unworthy?

It's in such a case, that "Abraham" would say, what at first seems cruel:
You cannot be of help to a person by identifying with the person's pain,
and it doesn't matter, if the pain is connected to what you did, said or are,
or if the person unawarely staged a trigger by imagining you said something.
Be aligned with what you DESIRE for this person, that's your way of helping!

Levi, my almost adopted son, 1970 & 1975

The example of Levi Abargil/Bar-Gil puts this theory - and my wholeness - to a test:

Levi & Ayelet flew to the US for 12 days, to teach their "Education through Dance".
"There was enormous chaos about who would take care of the little girls", told E.
{see a sculpture about the family's visit exactly on my 70th birthday, Aug. 15, 2008)
"so I asked Levi: couldn't Rachel be of some help- partly? She is so good with kids!"
"No, no, not Rachel!   She claims, that I am her adoptive son,
but when I once wanted her to become familiar with my kids,
she said: 'No! I have grandkids of my own!' I was deeply hurt."
E. was surprised: "That's impossible!   Rachel would never say something like that."
Even Talli, who hardly knows me, said: "No, can't be! Must be a misunderstanding!"
[See one of my first "Desires", phrased on September 30, 2009,
concerning the partnership between Efrat~Talli~Levi~Ayelet]
At home, not only Immanuel shook his head, - even Tomer said: "ein matzav!"
Meaning: 'Under no circumstances could grandma have said a thing like that!'
{See how Levi celebrated Tomer's 8th birthday inviting Tomer's entire class!)

I was deeply shocked, and again - not so much about the slander of Christa-Rachel,
as about the pain, which Levi was and still is causing himself by this absurd belief.
Later I even asked for Efrat's support, so I could "move" and understand my pain.
It was then, that she shared much of her 3 months experience with Levi & Ayelet.
And she summarized the hidden plight of her new boss with one phrase:
"There is an abysmal hole of not-feeling-worthy, not feeling loved!"

I knew about this hole, and knowing Levi's childhood, it seems to be all too justified.
Once more I see the little boy, lying next to me in my bed, in his violent nightmares.
I would need volumes to show the victim-situation which Levi "staged" for himself..
The "CONTRAST" which Levi was determined to desire and to live,
seems to be exactly following the recommendations of "Abraham".

Not only did Levi found an empire as a teacher of dance & education through dance
- he is constantly loving and laughing, all is well, I love you, I love you , I love you!
After endless failures in finding the right wife, he did find Ayelet, the best of wives (?),
and being the same age as my son., a father of a 22 y' old daughter, has now 2 kids.
"But neither Levi nor Ayelet can bear the slightest dissonance between each other."
Levi tries to please Ayelet and Ayelet pleases Levi and always: I love you, I love you.
This dire product of the ancient hole, constantly needing to please all people around,
makes cooperation difficult: it leads to evasion of issues, and finally to bad results.



Levi (written in Hebrew and in Arabic on his "Partnership" shirt),
during a "Partnership" workshop at Herzlia, summer 1979


After all this work,
yesterday with my daughter-in-love, and now through sculpting,
I am at peace with trusting my adopted son,
that he will heal into true self-love. [But see 2011_01_23 on the Immanuel-page ]



But I am not at all at peace with "Abraham/Hicks" and their mantra,
Be aligned with your Source, which knows that you are worthy,
and then think "loving-feeling-thoughts" as the first step
of becoming a "Vibrational Match" to your desire.

"Abraham" does never mention the need to heal holes,
the need to be aware of triggers, which I attract,
to point out a Hole in my wHoleness which now wanst to Heal.

When looking at Levi's success in business, creativity and family-
it seems, that Levi's clinging to "loving-feeling thoughts" pays off.
But what about the price?
What about the formidable denials, which fragment off from him?
And the pain which he imagined from the mother who showed him his worth,
despite the raging around her : "either me, your husband, or this forlorn boy!"
or "nobody will play with your kids, since through Levi they bring lice to us!"
doesn't it prove, that nothing has healed yet???????????????????

What do you have to say to that pain, "Abraham!"
Open your mouth, Esther Hicks, let "Abraham" come forward!

 

 

 

 

 

November 7 , evening – November 8, morning, Sunday,
with Efrat and Mika at Shoham. Immanuel went on flight to New-York this night

MY DESIRE TODAY My desire is, that Tomer – today 15 years old - may love himself for all-he-is by nature! and for all he has gone through and learnt! And in the realm of his skills in body , music and dance – I yearn, that he may limit 'consumerism' and strive to expand his creation.

Among the new - joy-causing - experiences with Tomer,
is his delight in learning Tecktonik Dancing
He began his usual Internet-Music-sharing with me::
"This time I shall show you something
in a realm I've never shown you before:
Dance!
(Indeed, since "his period" of "Parkour", I hadn't seen him do any body work..)
He let me read the article in Wikipedia, and then opened different youtube videos,
focusing mainly on a tutorial with a Chinese (?) boy.
I now found videos with white dancers, with Korean boys,
and a Korean girl in a mini-bus

One tutorial appears in "Daily MOTION",
a video sharing service website like "youtube"
(another aspect of "Heaven-on-Earth", this sharing1)
Virtual teaching is often done on the background of a private bedroom,
"they simply film themselves and upload it to youtube.".
This technical possibility of "spreading what I create",
together with the universality of the dancers
enhanced my delight in the dance itself,
the more so, when Tomer showed me his own exercises ("very difficult"),
which he refuses to show or even talk about with any other family member.
Of course, it was out of the question to take a photo of his tecktonik dancing!
I must be content with the pictures of our family's celebration of his birthday.


Finally I sent an SMS to Tomer announcing my desire
and adding: May you on this day feel
Grate-Full-ness, Zest-Full-ness and Full-Fill-ment!


See more images of Tomer's birthday celebration in the sequence of "Mika's Heaven-on-Earth"

November 6, 2009computer screen Shoham

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.35-36
35
When you are in a state of love, appreciation, eagerness, or fun—
you will evoke wanted behavior from your child.
You child was not born to please you.
You were not born to please your parents.

To You Who Are Asking the Question ~~~
Do not worry about a child losing freedom to unknowing parents,
and do not worry about unknowing parents losing freedom to their children. Understand that all of them wanted the experience of co-creating
in order to come to a new awareness of desire.
Just see them all as having Step One (asking) experiences
where they are continually clarifying what they want.
Through feeling parental domination, the child gives birth to desires about . . .
~~~ greater freedom.
~~~ being appreciated.
~~~ appreciating others more.
~~~ independence.
~~~opportunities to expand.
~~~ opportunities to excel.

Through offering parental control, the parent gives birth to desires about . . .
~~~ having more freedom.
~~~ experiencing more cooperation.
~~~ the child having a good life.
~~~ the child being ready for the world
he will step out into one day.
~~~ being understood.
In other words, this co-creative, contrasting experience
is causing everyone involved
to launch more rockets of desire
and therefore to Vibrationally expand to those new places.

... Before your birth,
you relished the idea of the contrasting relationships
that would cause your expansion,
and whenever you allow your own catching up with that expansion,
you will then bless the seeming struggle that made it so.

Will the Law of Attraction Do Household Chores?
Jerry:
Would you elaborate a little more on ways in which family members could harmoniously share in the responsibilities of common home maintenance
and help with the general flow of the activities of the family,
and still maintain their individual feeling of freedom.

When you speak of responsibilities, you are usually speaking of action,
and we certainly understand
that there are plenty of action responsibilities to be shared
in the making and managing and maintaining of a home environment.
And we also understand how it seems logical to most people
that when there are a specific number of things that need to be done
and there are a specific number of people to share those tasks,
an action regimen seems logical.
The thing that usually goes wrong in such situations
is that the people who are assigning the activities of the family
are often doing so from a personal place of imbalance
—not out of balance
because of the amount of work that they are personally doing,
but because of the resentment they feel
about having to do more than what they feel is their fair share,
or the frustration they feel
about the work not being done the way they want it to be done. . .
. Even though we are talking
about taking action to organize and maintain the home,
it is still necessary to find personal alignment first.
Which leads us to another flawed premise:

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.37-38

Flawed Premise #7:
With enough effort, or hard work,
I can accomplish anything.

When you are Vibrationally out of balance with your desired results,
there is not enough action in the world to compensate.
Without working to achieve Vibrational alignment with what you really want,
but instead, offering action to push against, or fix, existing problems,
the Law of Attraction will bring you
a steady stream of problems to fix—
and you will never get out ahead of them.
If you are focused upon problems—
the Law of Attraction will bring problems to you
faster than you can fix them.
If you are focused upon a disorganized home—
the Law of Attraction
will bring more experiences of disorder, disruption, and problems
than you can keep up with.
In simple terms,
the power of the Law of Attraction’s response to your Vibration
will always be stronger than your ability to keep up in terms of action.
You just cannot get there from there.
The only way to bring order to your life or your home
—or your relationships—
is to tap the powerful leverage of Energy alignment.
And when you do, things that were formerly a struggle
will seem to flow effortlessly.

Unless you are able to let go
of your chronic awareness of unfinished tasks
and uncooperative family members,
you will never be able to elicit good-feeling cooperation from others.
You have to find the feeling-place of a cooperative home
that is organized and good-feeling
before you can inspire that behavior from others.
The people in your life will always give you exactly what you expect.
No exceptions.

Many people tell us that they believe
that their negative expectations were born from observing negative behavior,
and not the other way around.
“I didn’t expect my son to refuse to take out the garbage
until he consistently refused to take out the garbage.”

You can find yourself in an endless loop
where you explain
that you feel negative because of the negative behavior of someone else.
But if, instead, you take control of your own emotions
and you think an improved thought because it feels better to do so,
you will discover that no matter how the negative trend got started,
you can turn it around.
You have no real control of what anyone else is doing with their Vibration
(or with their actions, for that matter),
but you have complete control over
your own thoughts, Vibrations, emotions, and point of attraction.

You must first find harmony between you and You,
and then, and only then, is any other harmony possible.
And when you consistently achieve harmony between you and You
(which is what we refer to as the state of allowing),
then it is possible to find harmony with others
even though you have disagreements.
In fact,
that is the perfect environment for expansion and joy:
diversity of beliefs and desires
—but alignment with Source.

.....

Relationships are usually better in the beginning
because you are both looking for things you want to see.
[meaning:
"I love you, because you cause me to love myself"
This is very very true and I heard it the first time,
when I listened to a speech of Martin Buber in the radio,
while still in Germany - Christmas 1963!]
And so, your expectation
is usually more positive in the beginning of your relationship.
Also, looking for positive aspects
is a powerful tool in finding your own harmony, or alignment with Self.
[But see - in the left frame - how this
- sometimes or often or always! -
is reached by monstrous denial!]
In the beginning, you both probably think
that the wonderful way you feel is
because of the harmony you have discovered with the other person,
when what has actually happened is
that you are using one another as your positive reason
to find harmony with who-you-really-are.
The Source within you only sees positive aspects in your partner,
and whenever you are finding positive aspects,
you are in alignment with
who-you-really-are.

What If One Doesn’t Want the Relationship to End?
Jerry: But what if your desires are really different from those of your mate?
What if one of you has decided to bring your relationship to an end
and the other wants it to continue?

We understand how that may seem like “different desires,”
but actually there is a powerful mutual desire
at the heart of what both people want:
the desire to feel better.
One believes that the action of separation is the most likely path to feeling better, while the other believes that staying together is the path.
Let us begin this discussion by pointing out another flawed premise,
which is a big part of the basis of confusion on this issue


Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.40

Flawed Premise #9:
The path to my joy is through my action.
When I am feeling bad,
I can get to a better-feeling place by taking action.
I can focus upon a situation
that I think is the reason I am feeling bad,
and walk away from it.
And once away from it, I will feel better.
I can get to what I want by leaving what I don’t want.

... the belief that another person is “making” you happy is incorrect.
Your happiness is your natural state of being.
The correct understanding is
that you are using this currently pleasant person
as your reason not to focus yourself away from who-you-really are;
...
Your true happiness happens
when you discover that no one other than yourself
is responsible for the way you feel.
If you believe
that others are responsible for the way you feel,
you are in true bondage,
because you cannot control
how they behave or how they feel.

It is natural that you would want to remove yourself
from things that do not feel good,
but in an inclusion-based Universe, that is not possible.
You cannot focus upon unwanted things—
and therefore activate the unwanted in your Vibration
—and get away from it,
because the pulling power of the Law of Attraction
is stronger than any action that you may offer.
As you walk away from one unpleasant situation,
the Law of Attraction will bring another
that feels very much like it, and usually quickly.
... To get to where you want to be—to that place of feeling better-
you have to reach for alignment between you and You

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.41
A Thirty Minute Energy-Alignment Process
41
and sit for five or ten minutes
writing a list of things you appreciate about your life.
In doing this Energy-alignment work,
your point of attraction will not only yield to you
activities and rendezvous with goodfeeling people, places, and things
—but your ability to experience the delicious depth of them
will be dramatically enhanced.
Rather than doing things and going places to try to make yourself feel good,
deliberately get to feeling good
—and let those things and people and places come to you.
It is possible that once you come into alignment with who-you-really-are,
you will gravitate to a different relationship.
But it is also likely that the relationship that you are already in
was attracted from your point of being in alignment to begin with,
and now that you have achieved alignment again,
it will renew itself for you.
...
In any case, getting yourself feeling good before you take any action
is always the best process;
and when you do not feel good,
you cannot be inspired to any action that will solve the problem.

 

November 8, 2009computer screen Shoham


Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.42-43
Is There One Perfect Person for Me?
…….
If you are feeling lonely or frustrated about not yet meeting your mate,
you are not a match to your Vibrational Reality,
and so your rendezvous is postponed.
When you are envious of others who have wonderful relationships,
you are not a match to your Vibrational Reality,
and so your rendezvous is postponed.
If you are remembering past unpleasing relationships
and using those as your justification for wanting or needing a better one,
you are a match to what you do not want,
and what you do want is postponed.
But if you can bring yourself to a place of consistently feeling good,
even in the absence of the relationship that you desire,
the rendezvous is certain. In fact, it is Law.

The “perfection” of that partner means
that your partner matches the things
that your life has caused you to ask for,
but the finding of that partner
hinges upon you becoming a match to those desires first.
You cannot find your perfect mate from your awareness
that your mate is missing from your life.
You have to find a way
to no longer offer the Vibration of a “missing partner.”


In the same way
that from the sifting through your now physical experience,
you are continually launching new desires -
you also launched desires about your physical experience
from your Non-Physical vantage point before your bitrh~~~
sometimes those desires, or intentions,
did include such specific things
as creative traints or talents,
specific things you wanted to do,
or specific people you intended to co-create with.
A “Soul Mate” would be such a person.
But …every person with whom you share your planet
is a sort of soul mate.
And the feeling of Connection that people are looking for,
the exhilaration of being with someone with their hearts soaring,
really is not a function of the person you are with,
but instead it is a function of your own Connection with You.
We would prefer to think of Soul Mate
as you mating, or consciously Connecting,
with your own Soul or Source or Inner Being or Self.
When you, in your physical moment and time,
are offering a similar Vibration to that of your Inner Being,
you have indeed found your Soul Mate.
And if you consistently do that,
the people who will gravitate to you
will be enormously satisfying in nature.

The number one thing that prevents people
from rendezwousing immediately with their perfect mate
is simply their awareness and discomfort about not yet finding one.
Remind yourself, often, that you have done the work,
you have clarified your desire,
you have shot off the rockets of desire,
Source is tending to those combined wishes,
the Law of Attraction has organized the circumstances and events
through which the rendezvous will occur,
and now your work (your only work) is to stop doing that thing you do
that prevents your meeting.


[Compare this advice with Godchannel's advice on
"Divine Romantic Love"!
a precious chapter
in "Old Heart-New Heart",
channeled in June 2008]


If we were standing in your physical shoes,
we would remind ourselves
that we have already done the work of specifying and asking.
We would accept that the creation is already accomplished.
It is done!
And then we would think about it only for the sake of the pleasure of the thougth.
When the moment of thought is blissful and satisfying
- without the contradictory energy
of trying to make something that has not yet happened, happen -
your Vibration is pure and powerful,
and your creation can easily flow without hindrance.

November 8 , evening – November 9, morning, Monday,
with Efrat and Mika at Shoham.

71 years ago, 80 days after Christa's birth,
the pogrom of the "Crystal Night"
tore open the Hell of Deity's/Humans' GAPs

20 years ago, the Fall of the Berlin Wall
opened a porthole aeshnav into Heaven-on-Earth

MY DESIRE TODAY My desire is ~~ that the small porthole to Heaven-on-Earth which opened with the Fall of the Berlin Wall 20 years ago, - 51 years after the gates-of horror to Hell were torn open - will expand following the journey of four of my loved ones [see also Oct. 26-27, 2009- the symbolic image with Shira and Yahel]

"Broken Heart"

See the sequence of scenes, which I cropped from some 14 videos,
prepared by the "Documentation-Team" of the 3 Democratic Schools,
which took part in this year's voyage of the pupils of Israel to Poland.

2009_11_09, early morning
This night it came to me, that I must finally -update- that pretty page!
For something much more practical and effective has evolved in time:

Whenever I become aware of one of those nebulous feelings of discomfort,
also in nightly hours, when sleep escapes, and I try "desperately" to sleep,
I inhale "God" and extend~~extend~~extend to the utmost my breathing-in
and then - with body's relief of exhaling - I embrace the feeling and love it!
This "alignment with Source" results in feelings of wholeness and content!


Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.44-45
How Does One Find the Perfect Business Partner?

....
Flawed Premise #10:
I cannot have everything that I desire,
so I have to give up some things that are important to me in order to get others.

....
By focusing upon the wanted characteristics
of those around you,
you train your Vibrational offering
to match only the best in them—
and then the Law of Attraction
can no longer match you up with the worst in them.
When you focus upon the worst of them,
and train your Vibrational offering to match only the worst in them—
the Law of Attraction can no longer match you up with the best of them.


Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.46-47
Who is Best Qualified to Govern Us?

...if you focus upon something that your government,...
is doing that pleases you
—then you are not resistant to the things
you have chosen by the living of your life.
But if you are bothered by something you see
and are chronically pushing against it,
you then use that unwanted thing as your reason
to hold yourself in resistance to what you have chosen.
Appreciate your government, or any other, in every way you can;
...
Jerry: So how would you envision the perfect form of government for us here?

It would be a government
that allows you freedom to be or do or have as you want.
And that will come only when there is an understanding
of how you are getting what you are getting.

What is our natural relationship with the Animals?

... What humans refer to as an animal’s “instinct,”
we call an animal’s “state of alignment with Broader Perspective.”
Evidence of the alignment of the physical animal
with its Broader Non-Physical counterpart is all around you,
and so you accept it as animal behavior or “instinct,”
when what you are actually witnessing is a physical animal
who, because it is offering no resistance,
has full access to the Broader Perspective,
and who understands, always, the larger picture

Abraham/Hicks: The Vortex p.49

In the Process of Creation there are three steps:
• First: Ask.
(And the contrast of life experience causes you to do that.)
• Second: Answer.
(That is not the work of you from your physical perspective,
but, instead, the work of Non-Physical Source Energy.)
• Third: Allow.
(You must find a way to be a Vibrational Match to what you are asking for or you will not allow it into your experience
even though the answer is available for you.)

continuation of "My daily Desire" in
"Michael about Right Use of Will