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had polarized so extremely away from the Will presence they needed to feel this, they did not even know how dangerous and damaging what they were entering into there really was, and if they do not move to look now, they will not know it yet.

The Fire Dragons did not have balance or even really know what it was. When they had trouble hanging in the skies and had to go to the fire seas frequently to purify themselves, which was to move rage on their terms, they felt it was because they were being dragged down by the magnetic energy field of Earth and that rage movement had the power to move this out of them. After they had moved rage this way, they could rise into the skies with much less problem than when they finally had to go to the fire seas, which convinced them all the more that rage had the power to rev them up when they got bogged down. Without the balance they needed to hang in the skies, they could not resist the desire to stir the cauldron this way any more than they could resist stirring the cauldron they had been stirring with Lucifer's light in the skies of Earth, and what was about to leap from it was all of the manifestations of Hell on Earth in the form of all of Lucifer's monsters raining down upon the Earth in the tail winds of a fireball.

This causes Me to want to say: Balance is the cardinal rule of magic. Without it, you will not find the results you seek, and if you think you have, then you see not clearly and those are the lessons you will have to learn. Anything you stir into your cauldron of magic will manifest as it is, which is not necessarily as you see it, and let you think the problem is only everyone else's imbalance, look into your own misfired attempts at manifeting your own lives.

Once again, the tension and pressure was mounting on Earth. There were great contests and duels of magic and form change taking place in the court with the frenzied edge to them of being driven by the denials and undercurrents of competition, power struggle, pecking order and fear denial. There was also a heartlessness to this that did not feel good to My light at all.

Some of these events drew spirits to come and watch who might have been partying in the woods otherwise, and these great displays of form change, power and magic were becoming so fiercely competitive and power oriented that it looked like power was growing in some and being depleted in others in ways that were both intimidating and lacking in the feelings of fun and playfulness that had been present in earlier experiences with these things. There was a deadly seriousness that was not pleasant to watch.

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Without knowing how they were doing it, or even that they were doing it, many of the spirits there were losing the power to do anything other than to feed Lucifer their power and their essence through the Will denial the presence of his light was able to pressure them into, and which they entered into from their own wishes to avoid feelings at first, not knowing how it opened the door for him, and once his foot was in the door, he behaved much worse than the pushy salesman who refused to take it out. I would like to say here: If you do not feel love's presence, do not get involved.

As power grew in the hands of a few and seemed less present in the hands of the many, the denials they had, namely of fear, increased, and the more this happened, the more the Mother struggled with the lines from Hell gainng on Her in Pan, and the less able She was to cope with the struggle of holding Herself present in the midst of all of these denials anymore. She desperately needed the protection of the Father of Manifestation, but was unable to keep Herself present with Him in the places He went where He was not present with Her emotinally, which now had begun to take form with Him as being an unnoticed part of the audience for these duels in the name of learning things He needed to know about the participants there while He was also looking to see what kinds of powers they had compared to his own and trying to measure the strength of His powers compared to theirs, as so many were doing with this reflection of their own power loss, without moving the emotions they had in response to this, thinking that power was in controlling their emotions, instead.

Rage was almost never allowed to move except in the Fire Dragons in certan ways and forms, which was the example everyone had of rage, that did not feel very loving to them, and was not, since it was filled with the presence of unloving light empowering and driving it. Fear was hated by subconscious agreement and never allowed to move except in situations of such ridicule, condemnation and blame that it never gained consciousness beyond the self-hatred it was pushed into, and grief was only allowed to move for a little while before it was thought to be too much, which it was to the lack of openness to receive it, and especially when other emotions were havng to be converted to grief to gain any expression at all to relieve the pressure of holding them.

In this atmosphere, the Mother could not stay present in a

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group of people for long without feeling a tremendous increase in Her pain, suffering and held emotion level. When it was to much for Her, She could not move it there and She would have to remove Herself to express what she could privately. This left Her prey to all sorts of things that stalked Her as manifestations of the denied hatred of these feelings.

With the pressure and force of their own denials, and in the name of having fun, people in Pan had moved things out of themselves and into the woods so hideous as to make them no longer want to go there, or even any deeper into the woods than they had the protection of the group and familiar pathways to go.

There were many things lurking in the forests in Pan that were not encountered in the general runnings of many there who instinctively knew that banding together in groups was the thing to do, yet they excluded the Mother from all groups by making Her feel unwelcome there because of what they felt in Her presence and what She was trying to present. Even when She pointed it out, if it then rushed in on Her or them, they said that this proved She had caused it from some feelings of Hers such as rebellion, jealousy or revenge.

In the same ways that My feelings of wanting to smack at the spirits for their denials were hard to control, it is a wonder that the Mother has not smacked at you much harder than she has. That She has not is partly because of Her guilt, as well as Mine, and partly because of Our love, and partly because I was also pressuring Her heavily not to move these emotions, as She was also pressuring Me. Each of Us was pressuring the Other in the name of love, and in the name of protecting the children, but also, from fear of Ourselves and what might happen if We did express feelings We had judged against so heavily.

Most of the spirits in Pan were also doing the same thing, and, like Us, ignoring what was really happening there because they were emotionally ignoring what made them uncomfortable, not only in the beginning, but as time went on. The struggles for power were increasing in the duels of magic and form changes, the Mother was becoming more and more overwhelmed by the denials being made there, the Fire Dragons were infighting and raging more and more, and the Father of Manifestation was biding His time.

Feelings He was really the most powerful, but was not going to show His hand yet, the Father of Manifestation was losing power every moment He did not move His fear about whether His being

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the most powerful was still true or not. He was not letting on, even to Himself, that He felt this way because His mind was dominating His analysis of the situation while His denied terror was consuming the Mother so much She could hardly even stay present by His side.

She did not know it was necessarily His terror though. She thought it was Her terror of the impending fate of Earth, and while She wanted to rage at the Father of Manifesestation for appearing to be a "popcorn-eating" bystander who was avoiding the situation and, thereby, letting it happen, imprinting wasn't allowing Her to move in either direction here. Only grief moved in Her and a quaking that She felt was terror in Her grief. Meanwhile, denied rage was feeding the strength of the gap which was anplifying the terror it had vowed to hold down.

The night Lucifer chose to enter the Earth with his hoards, there was a huge party going on of the sort I have just described, which is very symbolic in ways you will learn to see as you move to understand this story more deeply, if you do not already see it, and the exact moment in which he chose to strike was also very synchronistic as magic is very synchronistic even unloving magic.

The mother on Earth had abandoned her position in the skies that night and let another take her place so that she could preside over the party, the contests and the duels. Sensing trouble in the skies, however, she had excused herself from the party as the Faerie Queen, and was running between forms, trying to call to the supposed ally she had left in her place that night to let her rejoin him. He was even more treacherous than the faeries had been, however, and had business of his own with My light, or so he thought, and would not listen to her.

When I saw Lucifer about to enter Earth, I smacked at Him instantly, Lucifer grabbed My smack and used it to knock the Fire Dragons out of the sky, which he had planned on doing anyway since he had not intended to honor any deals he had made with them. Lucifer had no intention of actually giving anything more than an illusion of such power and had only made these deals so they would help him and not cause him any problems.

He could do this, since My light was aiming for them also, having viewed them, and amongst them, particularly the mother on Earth, as having made the deal to let Lucifer onto the Earth.

This fireball rolled down onto the Earth, leaving the mother on Earth's nearly empty form of the Fire Dragon to fall to Earth like a discarded ragdoll in just the manner she had dished out to the

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Father of Manifestation.

I had hit the form of the power of the kundalini return [Sept.12, 2012-I still haven't grasped what is meant by "kundalini return", though the term "kundalini" is well known to me] I hated the most, and yet, there had been no real fight there because the mother on Earth had already lost so much of her essence into fragmentation.

The mother on Earth had not regained her Fire Dragon form when the fireball hit. When she saw her Fire Dragon form falling from the skies, it was a major crisis for her. She flew through the night skies, transforming as she went into the form of a witch on a mission. When she found her Fire Dragon form dashed to the Earth, she wept bitter tears and raged at My light.

Apparently, this Fire Dragon liked to dish out what she could not take, which prompts Me to caution: Do not get in over your head; do not dish out what you cannot take. Do your homework at home as much as possible lest you find you did not know what you were entering, and if you thought you did, did not know all the rules you agreed to beforehand and that the rules had already set you up to lose.

The mother on Earth was furious that she had made a deal with "my Light" and that it hadn't turned out the way she had thought. She had been calling for her power to come back to her without knowing what she was really calling for. And so, I caution: Do not try to take power, and when you ask for power, you had better know what you are asking for. The safest course, therefore, is to let it happen naturally as an unfoldment of your own process.
[During the years of my work on the realization of my vision about "Peace through Desert Hosting Economy", I had constantly pleaded to find the people with the three k's: koah, kaesef, kavod: power, money, prestige, because it seemed to me, that my own ardent desire and my superhuman effort could accomplish almost nothing without the help of the 3k-people....And, indeed, it seems that on the exterior level I did not accomplish much. I understood from this - after decades of painful work and experience - that "letting it happen naturally as an unfoldment of my own process" is, what I had and still have to "do"]

she raged and raged that the deal she had made had not been honored and she raged and raged when she found out that she had lost her Fire Dragon form there and her ability to regain it. She raged at Me for a long time and blamed Me for this, which I did not think was fair or right of her since she had made the deal to let Lucifer onto Earth.

She could not move her emotions directly enough to feel more deeply than her rage and did not know how. She could not move her feelings to any place other than where they were trapped already unless the Mother was able to move Hers, and since My light would not allow the kundalini return to come back with Lucifer's presence in it, they had a major problem moving rage into healing, or anything else for that matter, since Lucifer controlled them more than they realized.

In other words, Lucifer hurled this Fire Dragon down from the sky, but I got blamed for it because I was the Parental cause of this without knowing it.

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My light did this, nonetheless, even if only by a lack of My presence there by which to be able to know what I was doing. Presence is the magic ingredient which makes it all work, and without it, it all works anyway, but not the way you thought it would or necessarily wanted it to. If you can sleep on the throne and still have it all happen the way you want it to happen, then you are in balance when you sleep.

Still, she sought to use her magic to regain power, and in calling from the place of vengeful and revengeful rage that she felt there, she was calling for Lucifer much more than she knew, and with much more power than the Mother had left to hold him at bay. In calling Lucifer to Earth as she was doing, she was also empowering him against the Mother.

Her rage was unsuccessful in penetrating My light, however, because I did not feel I had any involvement. I hit her from the gap with My own Fire Dragon breath. Which causes Me to say that if you do not find your own involvement, you may think you cannot be penetrated, which may make it look like invulnerability is a form of power, but it will deprive you of power in the end, and then you will be penetrated heavily.

When I saw Lucifer knock the Fire Dragon out of the way, I thought she deserved it. I did not think My light would do such a thing as give Earth to Lucifer, but I had already done this without letting Myself realize it. As I have said, anything you find outside, whether or not you recognize it, was inside first. The more you do not want to see it there, the more likely it is that you placed it outside to begin with in Original Cause. Therefore, the last things you find inside in the process of unfoldment into your subconscious may be the first things you placed outside of yourself in Original Cause.

Knowing nothing of Lucifer's plan for Earth, of his impending approach, or of anything else going on around this problem, the spirits on Earth were not expecting such a thing, and in fact, were feelng more protected than ever. When the fireball hit Earth, it hit the spirits the way it had in original imprinting and damaged them accordingly, too.

Thus, I would say, feel more deeply than you have thought you had to or you may find out what you have not felt into deeply enough from the way in which your magic manifests.

You have all played a role in what is presently manifest and happening on Earth, but you think you have not because you have not felt it deeply enough to know how you have been a participant in this.

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Anything you can say you are not a part of, you need to look at more closely and feel more deeply before moving outwardly, unless you just cannot understand it without more experience with it. That way, you are less likely to find yourself trapped into having to move outwardly or having outward events move you in ways you do not like.

When the fireball hit the Earth, it rolled past the party and into the woods, seeking the Mother who was blamed by the imprinting there.[????]

When the Mother saw the light of it in the skies above Earth, She tried to run but had not gotten far before Her legs gave out and the weight of the lines pulled Her down. She had given up there into sobbing terror. It was too much for Her.

She was cowering and trying to hide with a few faeries gathered tightly around Her. When She realized the fireball was, indeed, headed for Her, She ordered the faeries to run, but She didn't have to, They were already running.

When the fireball hit, it knocked the Mother so far out of consciousness that She did not wake up for a long time, and there was nothing left of Her form to be found either, and in the swath it cut as it rolled across Pan, it damaged without noticing the Ronalokas who were the only ones not in major attendance at the party.

The monsters who had been climbing the lines toward the Mother were blown off of the lines when She was hit. Already in the magnetic energy field of Earth, they came raining down upon the Earth in the tail winds of the fireball.

When Lucifer's hoards reached Earth, they began to do all of the things people have described as what they like least about Earth by creeping into the forms of denied fragmentation where they were most accepted. The then [sic] increased lost Will presence was able to move what consciousness remained there out of the way in favor of the imprinting from which this lost Will was operating.

In other words, they entered the great subconscious, and activated it there to do the bidding of its imprints and not the bidding of My light. From there it began to pressure the people on Earth to revert to their imprinted responses, or instincts, as they have also been called, and from there, animal forms were not far away, because animals represented imprinting without human heads to have another consciousness or to be able to talk about, or share it with another, other than by group pictures without much remaining ability to interpret them.

Giving form an opportunity to expand beyond the limits of this was not what Lucifer had in mind. He wanted everything to remain in the dark absence of My light's presence and not be able to learn anything more than what imprinting had already put in place there.



THE LAST DAYS OF PAN

Meanwhile, Lucifer was biding his time while the damaged spirits tried to recover, letting denial help him by trying to resume life as it had been in Pan as soon as possible.

As soon as he deemed it appropriate after his arrival on Earth, Lucifer appeared in the mother's court, which he had just given time to reconvene after the damage and shock waves that had moved through Pan. He made his appearance in a flurry of magic that materialized him there and said he had just arrived to help heal Earth. He announced himself as the greatest wizard of all and watched to see who flinched and who burned. He had duels of magic in mind already, but this was only play to him as a front for what he really had in mind for Earth.

He quickly decided those who flinched would be his first line of competitors, if he could get them to take up the challenge, and those who burned, his second. He cleverly worked the feelings being denied there, and could, because they were an open field to him from his viewpoint, and what a fertile field it was! He zeroed in on what was being denied like divining rods point to water under the Earth, and found the denials that were eager to get revenge.

Lucifer was a master of form change, and the mother on Earth did not quite recognize him, although something about him reminded her of what she had been communing with in the skies. She did not have the power to make him leave anyway and felt fear then, but pushed it aside in favor of the idea that if he was the greatest wizard of all, he might be her King. She decided to ascertain this by studying him, and by the way, without letting on, perhaps pick up a few tricks she did not already know that might help her regain her Fire Dragon form, and also, although she did not admit it, her lost power and magic on Earth. She made the same mistake the Father of Manifestaton made in thinking that studying the situation could be sufficient to regain her lost power there without realizing that most of her power loss was in her denial of

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her fear of him.

Lucifer played with this fear denial the way slight of hand artists play with their audiences by confusing their attention away from what they are really doing. He quickly developed the dramatic flair of his presentation to develop such an interest in the appearance he was making of healing the Earth, while actually searching for the Mother, and in the duels of magic he proposed, while actually planning to trap everyone, that the entire remaining population of Pan wanted to come and see his display of power, or though they did.

He gave out stories of his conquests and exploits in strange and foreign places other than Pan that made it seem like Pan's event was small compared to what he was used to in other places. He made it sound like there were other, bigger and better parties going on on other planets and that the inhabitants of Earth were just the leftovers, the dregs, to have fallen this far out into space.

The psychology worked, as it still does on those who are not sure enough of themselves to be able to love themselves as they are, and he delighted [Sept.12, 2012: further down Lucifer is depicted as having no Will at all, but "delight" is a feeling , isn't it? And all his vicious planning, doesn't it come from a "desire", i.e. the Will, however twisted? I don't understand this] in watching how much effort they put into producing this magic duel of his in competition with the stories he told. In this way, it was turned into the grandest event ever seen on Earth, according to the perceptions of some.

My caution is: Pay more attention to detail than you think you have to, even if it just seems like nagging, little, nit-picking voices barely heard around the edges, because details manifest around the edges of things in ways that can ruin the effect of the entire thing since this is always the position undealt with lost Will has to take.[?????]

Eventually, on the appointed day, at the appointed hour, when he had drawn and sucked on every bit of energy he could in the process of preparation, the duel commenced. The form changes were awesome, the moves quick and the precision with which they were executed, harsh and slicing, as though Lucifer did everything with the cut of a knife and the bite of steel. His methods felt ruthless.

Lucifer was putting everything into place, outwardly and inwardly, and in just the places he wanted them. The mother on Earth was studying this most avidly, as were many of those around her, to see what could be learned there, and right in front of their very noses, Lucifer was putting together the same trick the mother on Earth had tried, and they did not recognize it because of the form change.

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Lucifer challenged and ridiculed the ideas of others, and made fun of them in front of the court with the help of the satyrs, and the uproarious laughter of the others present there too, I would like to mention. He fed them bait and then pressured them not to respond emotionally, attacking them with his ridicule and heartlessness whenever they did. In other words, he played along the lines already established n court, but much more dramatically, intensely and ruthlessly, making it appear that all they had done before was child's play and saying as much to any who protested his methods.

Viciously and savagely is how I would say he played the court here, as if they were the deck of cards he was using in his sting operation. It felt like a gambling casino in which Russian roulette was being forced in as the game of choice, and all who declined to play were cast out as not brave enough to even be there. The participants, and also the audience, were being devoured by their fear denial. Lucifer was eating them alive, and they were not noticing it.

At the right psychological moment, he proposed a duel of magic on his terms, which were that the contestants no longer chose the forms they were going to take on. Instead, their opponents would choose them for them, and that to refuse a form meant default in the duel. This meant that no one chose Lucifer's forms, though, because he was master of all of them, and it did not matter what forms they chose. He did not stay in any one form for long anyhow as it did not matter to him what form he took on. With no Will to feel it, it did not matter to him how it felt to be inside the form either. He did not see why essence could not be rearranged indefinitely into whatever forms there were and sneered at other orientations.

"What difference would it make" he said, looking sinisterly around the court at the prominence of the mineral kingdom there in the form of the stone it had taken on, "if say, for example, I became a rock?"

Which he suddenly did. No one dared to move a muscle toward the fear they had felt on their night of horror. Then he knew he had them just as well as if he had been there that night to feel the presence of their fear [I thought, Lucifer "has no Will to feel"?] and see what had taken place there.

No one was sure then that they wanted to take the trip, but no one backed out either. They all hoped for the best and prayed to My light a lot more than they had at any other time in Pan, while at the same time fearing, without letting themselves recognize this, that

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they might be messing with something they should not be messing with and that My light might smack them again for it.

The light wizard came forward then and declared himself a candidate for this duel. A number of others stepped forward then also, and amongst them was the Father of Manifestation. He was in his old wizard form, but underneath his long, flowing robes, He still had satyr legs. He could not even move out of this form anymore, but He had decided it didn't matter because He had figured that Lucifer was going to press downward toward the mineral kingdom with his form change demands, and He felt HImself to be already closer to that and better able to handle it than He perceived the others to be there.

The contestants tried to oppose Lucifer then, and the Father of Manifestation amongst them, without revealing His true identity. Lucifer knew it anyway and planned to trap Him especially horribly in stone, which did not come to pass as it turned out.

The last rule Lucifer put in place was that the form they took on had to disappear completely, indicating that they had come back out of it with all of themselves. No one spoke out against the rules, and so the duels of magic proceeded.

Lucifer tried all the contestants, and choosing the forms in which they had the most fear, trapped them all, one by one, including the Father of Manifestation, in forms they did not like, or parts of them, at least.

All of them moved past their fear into rage and were able to get themselves back out of the forms they had become trapped in to a certain extent, but none moved the terror they needed to move there to recover completely, and to greater and lesser degrees, all had to concede victory to Lucifer since all still had parts of themselves remaining in the forms he had chosen for them.

He had not given them stone as a form yet, though, letting them all worry about when he might spring this on them. He asked if any felt they were not ready to concede yet, and the light wizard, a very blue and white piece of Heart, stepped forward and declared that Lucifer's tactics were unfair.

"Oh, in what way?" Lucifer challenged him.

Lucifer appeared to listen, and when this piece of Blue's denied heart presented an argument about time being a factor in getting in and out of form changes, Lucifer acted like he was going to give the contestants another chance.

"All is not lost then if you can get back out of the form changes you are lost in as you move along in the duel," Lucifer said more

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as a querrie of the light wizard than as a statement of his own opinion.

"Yes," said the light wizard.

"Have at it," [sic] said Lucifer who then issued the stone challenge.

This piece of Heart took the challenge, feeling he knew better than everyone else, even than the Father of Manifestation, how Lucifer should be handled there. To his credit, he recognized "the greatest wizard of all," to be an enslaving power, as did some others by then, and saw himself as saving Earth, since, as he saw it, no one else could handle Lucifer, or dared to, including the Parents.

When everything was in place, Lucifer let the light wizard do the work of casting himself down into stone, but he helped by pressuring him to go faster than he could handle into greater density than he could handle, since speed of change was the issue he had raised with Lucifer concerning his judgments on the completion or noncompletion of form changes.
   

Suddenly , the light wizard was a piece of bluish-purple, amethyst-like rock sitting there in their midst with a picture of a screaming face of terror looking motionless back at them from within it.

The light wizard went unconscious in the frozen moment of this terror, as though coming to [sic] meant feeling this frozen moment of terror forever, while his rage slipped out of the stone on the vibratory power it had left, which was not enough to be declared the winner there since there was still a sizable stone left in the midst of the court with its frozen face staring back at them as testimony that he was feeling something terrible trapped in there.
                    
It was a moment in time he has never wanted to remember and not a moment I envy him having to recover from his lost Will, but if he will move the emotions he needs to move around his issues with parents and remember his own lesson on time, I will help him recover this lost Will a little at a time and he wil succeed there.

Meanwhile, while the mother on Earth was busy judging Lucifer's magic to be less than her own, since this was such a little piece of stone compared to what she had done, most of the rest of the spirits of Pan were moved into their fear on their predatory hatred of fear, [?????] and there was a great stampede of animals again, this time defecating foul smelling, rapid fire pellets of fear onto the very snouts of the predators who were snarling, nipping and biting at their heels and throats and snapping at their tender undersides as they chased them down.

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Even though this trick was, in many ways, a repeat of the mother on Earth's trick, this was a much more major fall, taken for the second time there in Pan, and one that has not been recovered from yet.

The Will Polarized became the animals there with stampeding fear pursued by the rage polarized, and the Spirit Polarized remained as people who tried once again to live in the last days of Pan as though nothing had happened to them that they couldn't move past, and that the lesson to be learned was that Will presence was not favored by My light. They had Lucifer for a master now, though, without apparently noticing the difference in quality of light, and moved past a lot of emotion there to have lives with him in Atlantis.

Lucifer was called the dark wizard by Me, but not because of his color. He was called the dark wizard by Me because he has been ruthlessly able to be the best at whatever he does because he has played so heartlessly. This I have never liked in anyone, but even less in Lucifer because he has overpowered so many, and taken them into darkness that is the darkness of loss of vibration and the darkness of lost happiness that steals the brightness from the face and the smile from the lips, the spring from the step and the joy of hopeful expectation of what tomorrow will bring, and has put in its place the dark and dismal world of imprinting, power struggle and the heartless bleakness that dreads and fears what tomorrow may bring if the night is even lived through to see what it is.

Loving magic is never ruthless and does not overpower others or push them out of the way to make a place for the self because the self has learned its own right place and doesn't need or want to take the place of another. Good magic must be done by the right person, at the right place and right time and in the right way.

If you move in your Will as much as possible first, and even longer and more than you think you have to, outward actions can become easy enough that it feels like things are moving into place magically. Even then, don't trust it at first. Look for flaws, tricks and traps and move pockets of overlooked emotion they will reflect. Gaining trust is a major part of magic, but not by overlooking the reasons you have distrust. Trust comes from knowing yourself well enough to know that you can trust your feelings and trust the balance point of love in your own heart to manifest the balance you need to live your life the way you want to.

If you feel deeply enough, love what you feel and move along with how you feel, magic happens and is not something forced,

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manipulatled, stolen or otherwise turned to the unloving side of the art.

So please, move along now to the recovery of the lost power and magic which is your own and learn to know what that is by how it feels. If you are not being loving, you will know it by the reflection you get back, but don't be fooled by this either. Remember the twists of denial. Loving outwardly first is not the answer; loving inwardly first is.

My light has a lot to say and many pages have been omitted here that could have been included, but expression is not all there is to it. Feeling deeply enough is an important part of expression, and without that, you cannot learn what I have expressed anyway. By feeling it more, you could learn without My help, but My help has made it easier for you, and for that I would like to receive acknowledgement and gratitude. Find in yourself gratitude for the source from which it all comes; even the smallest source may turn out to be the greatest in some way. And along with that, feel deeply enough that you do not repeat old mistakes and do not fall for the same trick twice and find only bitterness and blame instead.

There's much that could and perhaps needs to be said about the last days of Pan, but all I can tell you now is that those who fled soon enough from the duel of the wizards, and reached the edge of the land, following the lead of the Father of Manifestation, were able to keep their forms more intact than the others and had His help to break off pieces of Pangea into islands for themselves where they were able to live, lost in the time of Pan for a long time, but I saw that they also felt the smack of My light and were re-imprinted to believe that they had to offer sacrifices to My light to be able to do it, and even took up the practice of human sacrifice, believing they had to give their God the best, and in imitation of the way they had seen these stabbing thrusts of light seem to go after, and even take, certain people. I also saw them breaking apart, according to who they were polarized emotionally, and also by color, into races, tribe and nations. And the Father of Manifestation escaped with them into these secret realms where He lived rather happily with His rainbow faeries until, after a long time, the loss of the parental part of the Mother began to weigh on Him, and even though His imprinting held Him back for a long time after He first thought of it, He began to look for Her again.

Lucifer succeeded in splitting Spirit and Will farther apart in Pan by getting emotionally based form change to deny its emotion, and by getting it into emotion it could not handle as a means of

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trapping it in the forms resulting from this. Very heartless, indeed. The kind of heartlessness that caused My light to become so furious with him for what he had done, that I smacked at him again and knocked Earth off her axis. Again, Lucifer deflected My smack and used it to split the great continent of Pangea, which was already breaking apart in reflection of the split between Spirit and Will, sinking some places and leaving the rest to float and drift apart into what then became Lemuria and Atlantis.

There was a major loss of consciousness there, and the world of Pan moved down into a world of mostly imprinting. So many of the beings who were left alive there were trapped in animal forms that their lives on Earth, for all practical purposes, descended into animal life and did not surface again as human life for a long time; so long, in fact, that no one remembered being human before in the Heavens or any place else, except for the few who told Creation Myth stories. And myths were all they were seen to be by those who could not remember those other experiences for themselves, and yet these myths and stories have lived on because they have stirred something lost and deeply buried in the subconscious that does remember these things. In the same way, all Faerie Tales stem from Pan and the origins of Pan, and even though they have been thought to be just that, Faerie Tales, they also have lived on because they stir something deep and old, lost and ancient, hidden in the dark realms of the subconscious and surfacing in everyday life so vividly once you see it, yet so obscured by their lack of access to the conscious realms that people have been blind to the reality of their daily presence just as they were blinded by the original smack, and quite literally so.

If you gently hold or rub the belly of a small child who trusts you, and ask him or her when you feel an openness to do this, how he or she thinks it used to be, and how the child wishes it was on Earth, or wishes it would become, if they have My light in them, they will all tell you the same thing, which are stories of Pan and the Heavens before they came to Earth. Some have more detailed recall than others, but all have the same feelings of love for Faerie Tale reality and feelings of wistful nostalgia and heartache in their memories and recall of these times.

All you need to know, really, to recover your own lost subconscious and thus, also your own lost and forgotten personal Faerie Tale in which you actually lived and participated, is that the darker and more violent, loveless and more treacherus the Faerie Tales are that you were told or are drawn to, the farther out in the woods

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you were located in Pan, and the more rage and terror need to move around every step the farther you went out there, until you find the grief-stricken heart of the little child who experienced these terrible things and can nurture it back into happiness again and can hold it protected in the balance you have to find now.

The Godhead of the mother on Earth was not the only place of treachery, power plays, plot thickenings or cauldron stirrings, or any of the rest of the stuff of which Faerie Tales are made.

And as for the Parental part of the Mother who has been speakng to you in most of this story: what was left of Her curled into the soft, furry ball of a monkey form that only wanted to find whatever inner comfort and warmth She could find for Herself by curling in on Herself there, and also to hide, since no one in the outer world really seemed to love Her or want Her to have the consciousness She was reaching for there.

She could not handle feeling or remembering anything more about Her pain or Her problems in trying to have consciousness, and for a long time, that's all She did; have monkey lives with the Ronalokas who shared Her fate. She was a Mother presence, sitting with sad, staring eyes, feeling alone, even there, and often being ostracized by Her own monkey group for reasons She did not understand. She did not reach for anything more until predators found Her and made life miserable for Her even there. Then She had to reach for Me when I came to give human form to many in the Will Polarity who needed help in this way.

And all of you who have followed the Mother have lives in animal forms that also need to be looked at now to be able to reclaim the essence that needs release from there. Not all form is what it seems. Not all animals are animals, and not all humans are humans, even yet. So, as you look at these forms, don't move to love them or hate them as they are now. Work instead on moving your own imprinting and see what happens then.

And that is all I can say for now except that the Mother needs to surface in all of you as the Mother presence in your own Wills, so that you can find balance in your Hearts, for without that, your power and magic has not been good, any more than Mine has been good because of a gap in place to reverse it all, Without Heart balance being found by feeling deeply enough to find and change imprinting, only repeats of original imprinting can take place trapped in the many form changes you have experienced since then.
                            Selah