The Purpose  of   HEALING - K.I.S.S.

- as stated 12 years ago - was and is

  to help me and my potential P E E R s 

"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,

and - by extension - all of CREATion!"
Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013
and Overview of its main libraries


[If you look for a word on this page,
click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]


I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'

pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill
>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"

 

 

 

K.I.S.S. - L O G    2 0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart

 
1

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1
2
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How
Learn
And

I
The
Train

 

Heal
Conditions
In
Myself
For
Creating
Into
Heaven
Those
Whole
On
Conditions
Self-acceptance
Earth
Daily


sanctus-qadosh
sanctus-holy
sanctus-heilig

 

Intro to k.i.s.s.-l o g + all dates ~ Library of 7 years ~ HOME ~ contact ~ SEARCH ( of Latin characters only!)                  my eldest granddaughter's video-gallery

 

"to feel better requires that you become better at feeling"
June 24/ Sivan 21, Tuesday, still 52 days -
at Shoham
Parting from my obsession to complete this page--- on June 29

back to past ~~~~~ forward to future




The FOCUS of MY INTENTION TODAY

Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want, then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what may!
6:40 [Mika's parents will leave at 7:00 and fly to Paris for 2 days and I'll be responsible for Mika]
I desire to not only fulfill my task of caring for Mika in every demanded detail,
I desire to let her lead me in establishing a relationship which will be nourishing for both of us.
I desire for Efrat to trust me and her daughter and let go of too much controlling via SMS.

I desire for Immanuel & Efrat to celebrate their short togetherness outside family and country.
I desire that both will grow together into their new status of being the sole custodians of T.
I desire that both will constantly SEE, that they chose this Foursome as the pivot of their drama

image of the day


hodayot [thanksgivings] for today

7:05
My Body, my Partner, my God
I give thanks to the microrganisms that constantly inhabit us
to the "human flora" which "include bacteria, fungi and archaea".
I give thanks to those organisms - called "normal flora or microbiota" -
which perform tasks without which you could not function nor live.

[there are about ten times as many bacteria as human cells in the body
(1000 trillion or 1 quadrillion (1015) versus 100 trillion (1014)).
Though normal flora are found on all surfaces exposed to the environment
(on the skin and eyes, in the mouth, nose, small intestine, and colon),
the vast majority of bacteria live in the large intestine
]

I'm so very grate-full for the way I was led to encourage my children
to take the decision of hiring that expensive house at Bet Nehemya:
as their future home (from Aug. 1) in the "House of God who comforts",
knowing, that this house with 5 rooms, a garden and close to nature,
would allow E.'s panic of "having T. in the house" relax to a great degree,
which in turn would help my son to cope with this huge challenge ahead,

also trusting that they will learn to balance their finances better
(by being more disciplined with daily necessary expenses and 'small luxuries'
instead of trying to increase Immanuel's income by grabbing for more flights,
which would waste precious time at home for the integration of the Foursome.)
Thanks for this night's word
"u-te-naham-eni" you have comforted me Is.12:1

Addition on August 20, 2009:
How could I have been so wrong in recommending that house in that village?
On August 27, 2009 my family will leave this house in its unpleasant surroundings,
and until Sept. 23 they cannot even move into the newly hired flat, back at Shoham
and will have to receive my daughter's offer to find refuge in their home at Modi'in.

"Bet-Nehemya" - "the house of God who comforts" - was only an experience...
an experience which taught Efrat (and ME!), that a "modern" village in Israel
is both - far from Nature and far from a life in a community and communication.
Perhaps my pressure to succumb to that expensive offer had the indirect purpose:
to understand once and for all, that "Shoham" will be the right place for my family.


Continuation of yesterday: three images of the wall with the old olive trunk sculptures

 
 
 
   

 

 

The morning hour with Mika was alright,
she had been told over and over what to expect from this day.
But the grief, which was smothering in the little heart, came to the forefront,
when we left the flat, then the house, then drove through town, then got out of the car.
Except for her exclamations: "Hinne etz-banana!" - "a banana-tree" , which she now discerns everywhere,
after I had showed and explained it to her "scientifically" during one of our recent outings,
she kept repeating: "I want Imma!"
Only when we entered through the gate of the kindergarden, she exclaimed again: "Hinne etz-banana!"
but she knew very well, that it was only a similarity of the leaves in the small plant, which reminded her of a banana-shrub.


"Ani rotzah aet Imma" -I want Imma

 

 

 

Finetuning to my Present

8:45
I'm back not only from having brought Mika to her kindergarden,
but from an additional assignment, paying a bill for Efrat, small, but "hateful",

i.e. bringing up feelings of "I don't want to do this!"
especially not if i have to ask 3 times, where the postoffice is ,
and not, when this office is hidden in a maze of floors and corridors
which arouse claustrophobic sensations in my body.

I'm done with the phone-report to Efrat, who is still waiting in the airport.

And I feel relief.
Still I also feel pain about Mika's pain:
"Ani rotzah aet Imma" -I want Imma
she said with a voice, which was quiet with resignation.
She knew well, that she couldn't realize her longing now,
but neither did she cry or scream, which may have moved her grief more.
It was always this example I gave
when I was teaching Mutual Support ("Co-counseling"):

"Don't lie to a child! Don't utter silly consolations!
When she cries for her mother,
repeat her words with compassion:
"Yes, Mika, you want Imma, I know you want Imma".

Since this happened during the car ride over and over again,
I couldn't even hug her.
Nor would she have allowed hugging.
So I was soothing her by singing the song
I had explained to her as prelude for this day.

"You know, that when your Abba was small , he also had an Abba,
(and there was also Micha, his brother, - and who was his sister? - "Ronnit!"
she answered! So she knows it now!)
Well this Abba Rafael , who for you is Saba Rafael,
has made songs together with me
for our three children.
One of them is about how Saba Rafael drove with his tractor to the fields
and there he saw a lot of storks who were preparing for flight

[ho! Isn't Rafael's son, Mika's father, preparing for flight right now?]
and when they all had flown into the sky, one stork stayed behind,
it was very tired and so Saba Rafael invited it to be our guest for a while!
"

When I made a tune to Rafael's sweet story - in Immanuel's first year, 1963,
while there were so many miles between us in Germany and Abba in Israel,
I didn't know, that many wandering birds get tired on their flight and die...


I now watch what I've noted above:
the situations, associations, memories,
the people, the car-driving, the corridors,
- and the feelings which were or still are connected to all of them.
What a compression of living!
And I breathe and I sigh
and I drink my coffee
(which I don't have in Arad,
"Why?" asked I., and E::

"because her equipment angel Ezriel hasn't provided it!"
"Exactly! Coffee is definitely not a commodity,
which is vital, it's not even healthy")

It's from this last line,
that I could finetune to the Bet Nehemya experience
yesterday...






I ask Yafit, the assistent, to help sad Mika, but her effort to distract her
was not really successful. Still - I must let my litle girl go...

   


Here Mika suddenly reminds me of my mother (1909-1985) , quite unjustified as prove the few childhood photos of my mother which I possess

 

At night


I was scared again, scared of the car, when I drove to fetch Mika.
I made it alright, even in time (but the fear fulfilled itself the next morning...)
The only children left and in the care of Lee, Rachel's daughter, were Mika,
as well as a boy named Adam, about whom Mika keeps talking at home,
and Amit, the little girl on the photo, whose mother called:
"I'll be late, I'm caught in a traffic-jam!"
I asked, if I could stay, until the other children would be fetched,
so as to enjoy the interaction between the kids.
I was warmly welcomed and even brought a glass of water
.


Mika looked up from her tower construction,
greeted me with joy (though without getting up...)
and went back to her concentrated work.
The concentration continued, when she chose "kitchen" activity.
"I'm cutting corn for you, grandma!"
"I'm making coffee for you, Mummy (title of Rachel, the kindergardener) ! "

 

 

 

After Mika had fallen into sleep like a stone,
I reported to her parents, via SMS,
that it was "Heaven on Earth".
They asked, if I could write to them,
since after 9 PM, French Time,
they would get access to the Internet for a little while.
I first allowed myself some relaxation,
took care that the neighbor boy wouldn't forget to take Nella out
completed to deal with the technical problem
which had interfered with my interaction with Mika:
[
Ofir on the phone: "I forgot to tell you, that we'll go away for 4 days
and who will water your garden? "

In the end Zipi's good friend Shai will do it.
He'll come to Arad Thursday evening, just in time!
]
And then I sat down to write and write and write!
I did not correct it, leave alone sculpt it,
they were waiting, and indeed their response shows,
how grateful they were for my detailed reporting.

I'll leave the text as I sent it, not even read it again,
in order not to be tempted by my compulsion to correct.




 

 

Second and third letter to my children
who spend the night in Paris

 

 

 

 

Rachel joins Mika in ordering the toys,
which were used by the remaining kids,
a perfect cooperation between two women...

 

 

 

Lately Efrat decided to let Mika again take part in Hanni's circle, every Tuesday


What is it that makes Mika so thoughtful,
not as attentive, not as excited as the other five children?
In any case - I enjoyed the very fact, that parents - not only mothers -
gathered to dance to the sounds of different watches and clocks,
with Hanni, a young grandmother.

 

 

 


 

 

 

And then our Heaven-on-Earth really began!

Being a bit fed-up with all the parks and playgrounds,
and since we were in an unfamiliar part of the town,
I asked her, if she would like to walk around
and - for instance - go over to that football pitch.
"Football, football???!! Oh, yes!"

The place and space there was huge.
Mika was a bit disappointed, that it was empty,
and that we couldn't enter the gate we reached.

"People coame, people coame!" she sang.
And indeed, later - towards sunset, that they started to arrive...


She looked around, saw the stairs we had just descended
and suggested: "Let's sit here and rest."


"Rest",
of course, means - the next activity...
In this case: trying again to learn how to photograph.
In the middle of it I got a phone-call from Arad.
There won't be anyone to water my garden from tomorrow!
Which needed to be followed by phone-calls on my part,
in order to find a solution.


I had to save my camera twice from Mika's still not skilled fingers,
but then she had to pee and to shit, and the camera could rest.
Since I couldn't focus on her cherished outdoor toilet activity,
she wasn't careful enough and wetted her skirt and pants .
Nobody was around, so I let her enjoy her nakedness.
Of course, by now she also took off her shoes.
"These are not shoes, these are sandals!" she corrected me.


Mika's photos of the football pitch - with a bit of help from Grandma

When the people - men - started to arrive,
they went to another gate, which we hadn't discovered before.
We went after them and detected a small very pretty - mini pitch,
or so it seemed, on which a father and a son trained football.

"Let's play football!"
Mika begged over and over again.
"But Mika, can't you see, that we don't have a ball with us?"


When father-son had left,
Mika was no longer ashamed to bring up her solution:

"We could play football "as if!"

"Oh yes, of course, why haven't I thought of that before!"

But when we climbed somehow into the place,
I understood that it was meant for basket-ball.
And as if Mika had known that all along,
she threw up a whitish cap of some bottle.
So she had secretely cared for an"as-if-ball".

I was amazed and delighted
and eager to let her full-fill her desire.
We trained a bit - it hurt a bit -
until I could hold her standing on my shoulders.

And she, indeed, hit the basket!

What a hilarious laughter!

 

What a pity,
that there was no one to document this scene!



We repeated the feat twice,
but then it was too strenous for me,
and what's more , it wasn't safe at all.



So Mika agreed to postpone basket-ball playing until Bet Nehemya,
where we'll surely install a real basket on the outside wall of the house,
as my children had done in one of their rented house at Kfar-Wradim,
- a delight for me and Tomer, who was about 10 then,
and who was the one who excited me for this game!

 

 

 

 

She still didn't want to go home.
More and more men - with a few small children -
came towards us.
I tried to figure out,
what the event would be tonight,
but Mika already kept me busy
with a new kind of acrobatics.

"What is this?"
"a stand for bikes to park in!".


For her it was a device to climb around.

If at least she would wear her sandals!
The ground was neither clean nor even.
Sometimes she took my hand to help her,
but she never hurt herself
- thanks to you, her guardian-angels!


At the time neither she nor I noticed,
what she would have called in English,
if I had asked her about the color of the stand:
"YELLOW".

So much yellowness!
but I won't think about its meaning now..


Immanuel's response

"Many thanks for the comforting and relaxing report.
Efrat lets you know, how grateful she is!

All the while we are truly having fun.
It flows how we know to do, when abroad.

A big hug to our Mikantush in the morning."

 

 


It should be translated correctly:
my strength and song is Jah , And it (or "he") is (or has become) to me freedom!
[Buber-Rosenzweig found out, that the real meaning of "yeshu'ah" is freedom!]

I learnt this song some 40 years ago,
and remembered it today
because the verse - Isaiah 12:2 - is in the same little chapter as
"u-te-naham-eni"-"And you have comforted me"




On
June 24, 2012, I added this verse - a bit modified - as a second stanza


I thank you that you scolded me ... and comforted me
My life's context: while copying the green and yellow RUOW -books,
I'm wondering, if and where I still have denials,
While awakening this morning I again remembered the painful story,
of
how I "blew" the togetherness with Tomer and his friend at the Kinneret
because I tried to please them and held back my feelings of anger for too long.
What was different this time, is that I could breathe and womb my pain,
and at the same time send most loving blessings to those two boys.



 

back to past ~~~~~ forward to future 2008/2012


Intro to k.i.s.s.-l o g + all dates ~ Library of 7 years ~ HOME ~ contact ~ SEARCH ( of Latin characters only!)                  my eldest granddaughter's video-gallery

whole&full-filled, never perfect&complete

Keep It Simple Sweetheart
K.I.S.S. - L O G    2 0 0 8


 

2012-06-21
Mika celebrates the end of first grade
and her school celebrates its 10th anniversary


2012-06-24


3 days ago Boris returned my tent - not yet folded .... - in order to travel to Russia for four weeks,
with his stepfather, whom he loves dearly, and with whom he wants to connect on a deeper level.
After a week in Leningrad, where Boris was born, his mother, who is with them, will go back to Israel,
while Boris and Genia will travel north to a village -and more "white nights"- to co-create in carpentry.

 

 

 

 

back to past ~~~~~ forward to future 2008/2012