I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution in
learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
1998/10/11
checked for updates on 2005_03_23, checked again and new updates
found on 2008_08_31; I checked the file for updates , after
it was, since Febr. 19, 2010 , included
in the new Denial
Pages - "an index that
lists the more prominent places on the site where denial energy
is discussed and the various ways of releasing it are described."
The title of this page is no longer "True Sacrifice",
but "True Sacrifice and & Deep Denial Release"
True Sacrifice & Deep Denial Release
pp31 "Sacrifice is one of the most misunderstood
concepts in religion.
The original meaning of the word is to 'make sacred'
or ask for a blessing of something.
But the practice of sacrifice became associated
with giving away or destroying something
that is valuable to you.
"I don't believe in that kind of
'sacrifice',
and I don't want you to give up anything you wish to keep.
"However,
the idea of giving something up to me
is heading in the right direction
when it comes to my denials.
"It is good to give up the denied
light in yourself and return it
to me.
and the deeply compressed denial energy
of the asuras,
Grandfather's denials,
the intensely unloving light that has trapped
the most pained and suffering parts of the Mother.
[Old
Version:] It is good to give up the denied light
in you
the asuras,
or 'denial spirits',
the beings of denial that have trapped
the most pained and suffering parts of the Mother.
"What I
wish for you to give up
is not something you want,
but rather something you want relief from~~~
the unloving light [Old Version: bad] that has been causing the pain
and suffering
you have had to experience.
"I don't wish for you to give up the
magnetic essence that is holding your pain,
but the denied spirit essence
that is responsible for the pain being there in the
first place.
"What
I wish for you to 'make sacred'
or ask me to 'bless'
is your emotional feeling in your Mother essence
that has been holding the suffering~~~
because in doing so
"you'll
both relieve the suffering
and free the emotion
so it may move as it wills
[Old Version:]
"you'll both relieve the suffering
and allow the emotion to move.
"I
wish to find the Mother.
And she is inside of you,
including her lost parts that are still
holding
all of the terror,
rage,
grief
and hopelessness
that Spirit had been unwilling or unable
to face in the past.
In offering up this deep denial energy to me now [previous update: in
offering up your pain to me now]
, you and I will be able to work even
more closely together~~~ [previous
update: you and I will
be working together]
offering our loving Light to the Mother in you
with the intention of healing.
holding
all of the terror,
rage,
grief
and hopelessness
that Spirit had been unwilling or unable
to face in the past.
In offering up your pain to me,
you will connect the Mother in you
with loving Light
and the intention of healing.
Get
up and dance!
Releasing deep Denial Energy [Old Version of title: Practicing
True Sacrifice]
"Here's
how to release deep denial energy.
[Old: Here's how to practice true sacrifice.] First, get
in touch with a 'bad' feeling.
There are plenty of opportunities to do this in everyday life.
[omitted
in new version]
If
you want to find additional triggers,
the information in the healing class,
along with the off-site recommended reading in that class
will help you connect with the deep pain of the Mother.
"When
you are experiencing something
that does not feel good to you,
[omitted
in new version]
it
is important to release any judgments
you may have about the feeling,
yourself,
and others that may be involved.
When the judgments are gone,
the surfice [?] denial energy of guilt and blame [Old Version
of this line: the guilt and blame]
will leave the feeling,
and allow it to flow more freely.
"Next,
"notice where the
feeling is in your body.
"If you like,
you can imagine you are in a sacred space,
say on the top of a high mountain,
perhaps in front of an altar.
Imagine that you are here
to perform a ceremony of cleansing[old: a Ceremony of True Sacrifice],
Imagine you're reaching into yourself and getting hold of the asuric deep denial
energy[old:
the asuric energy] in your feeling [Old Version of this line: and getting
hold of the bad feeling.] Imagine that your hands are pulling out
of the feeling
the denial energy including any additional
judgments [Old Version of this line :the
denied light, judgments and asuras]
that are causing the pain
in this part of your feeling, magnetic, Mother essence. [the word "feeling" is missing
in the old version]
"Imagine
you are pulling [old:moving]
the denial energy up through your chakras,
from just below the chakra or part
of your body
where you are feeling the stuck emotion.
You can use your hands on the outside of your body
to help move the energy up.
You can also 'squeeze' the energy up inside of you
by tightening and releasing the muscles in your body.
When you reach your crown, send the denial energy
on up to me.
"You
can say whatever feels right, for instance, 'Here, God, take this denial spirit
and and put it in its right place.' "Or, 'God, here's some unloving
light
that has been hurting me and the Mother.
Please take the part of this that isn't mine.'~~~ or whatever you are moved to say.
"Of course, nothing at all need be
said, just the intention is sufficient.
To finish,
imagine unconditional loving Light
coming back down to you
and blessing the feelings that had been infected with denial
energy [the previous
update added:and
judgments]
~~~
with my love and acceptance
as I move into loving alignment
with the Mother in you.
[Old Version:] "Imagine
you are holding these foreign substances
in your hands
as you reach upward and offer them to me.
You can say whatever feels right,
for instance,
'Here, God, take this denial spirit
and and put it in its right place.'
Or, 'God, here's some stuff
that has been hurting me and the Mother.
Please put it in the part of this that isn't mine
in its right place.' ~
or whatever you are moved to say.
Of course, nothing at all need be said,
the intention is sufficient.
To finish,
imagine my Light
coming to you
and blessing the feelings
that had been infected with bad light ~
with my love and acceptance
as I move with the Mother in you.
"If you don't care to imagine a ceremony,
or if the feeling is too deep and painful
to imagine doing a formal offering,
ask for loving Light
[Old Version: ask for my light]
to come down into the feeling. Imagine seeing it or feeling it as a solid ray of warm [old:bright]soft[missing
in the previous update]
golden light, like a gentle[this word is
missing in the old version] sunbeam.
Allow this ray of Light
to bathe the feeling
with divine love [Old Version:
with my love], acceptance and understanding.
"After a few moments,
imagine the ray of Light
drawing the denial energy[Old
Version: the bad light]in
the feeling up toward me
while more loving Light
comes down into the energy center or area of your
body where the asuric energy [Old
Version: where the feeling] has been.
[what a disastrous
confusion in the old version: "feeling" instead of "asuric
energy"!]
"The
running energy exercise in the channeling
class
is an excellent way to practice
feeling the Mother's energy physically,
and then bringing loving Light [Old Version: and then also bringing
my Light] into the energy center where it is desired.
"Your intention to have Loving Light [old:my
Light] present
with your most difficult emotions, and to return to me any denial energy [Old Version: and to return to me
any asuras or other denied light] that is not yours~~~
will have the effect of bringing the Mother and me
closer together inside of you,
and add energy to the healing of the original
issues in Deity
where the 'bad' feelings started.
"Also, both Spirit and Mother essence
will then be more available to help you
in healing the issue at the personal level.
Once
the denial energy is removed,
you will be able to find your own loving acceptance [old:
acceptance [in?] yourself] for what has been in your own gap.
"To this end,
always feel back into the feeling
immediately after releasing denial energy.
Now, with the intensity of the denial energy gone,
you can thoroughly feel
what the emotional essence has had to hold.
And you now can be with this feeling [old:hold
this feeling]
with loving acceptance.
In this way
your own spirit aligns with my loving light [old:your spirit represents my loving
Light]
in being here for the hurt part of the Mother in you.
Once
you have loved and fully accepted and integrated [old: once
you have fully accepted and integrated]
the part of yourself
you had been separated from,
no other denial energy can enter that
way because the gap has been closed [old: no other denial energy will
enter that way].
[missing
in old version]
"Finish up in whatever
way feels right.
Thanks are never necessary and always appreciated,
the important thing here is to allow yourself to feel
comfortable
in asking for my help
and for my loving acceptance of your feelings."
Christa-Rachel
Bat-Adam June 24, 2009:
I hope, it is enough, if I do the much simpler ceremony
of
"Inhaling God and Exhaling love,
love to whatever I feel just now,"
extending the inhale and the exhale
until I truly feel what my mind intends!
See "puzzle piece
30: Unconditional Love"
I follow my understanding
and new lekh-lekhâ on January 1, 2009,
that - after 7 years
- I should no longer create new pages on my 2 websites,
but intermingle the evidence of new experiences with that on existing
pages.
Since March 2009 I am "synchronizing" the chronological
process of the Godchannel.com files
with the chronological process of my photos and -
if there should be time - observations of the
"Walk About Love" continuation
of March 14, 2009 ,
last update of this page July 31, 2009
What followed on that Shabbat, was documented
only by Rotem Malenky,
who throughout the Walk filmed hundreds of hours for creating
what will be - one day - an extraordinary testimony.
I felt utterly insecure and frightened,
and this fact in itself should have shown me, that I once
more was on the wrong track.
The process between this first attempt to win over two
people,
and then another two people, and another two people, and
then 3 people, who included Stephanie,
to at least read my proposal,
and my giving up in abyssmal shame and despair didn't
take more than one hour.
Later in the evening both of the two separate
people, who had agreed to working with me,
slipped away in the most pitiable, pathetic manner and
left me alone with my pain of failure.
I didn't even have a tent that
night, because I had lost the metal parts during my hitchhiking.
I retreated from the group as far away as I could,
and while trying to get some sleep in my sleeping bag,
I did my healing and thinking work.
Why had I created all this pain in my drama , the pain
of "not being received" ?
And what was it, that I should finally learn to change?
The answer - after
the movement of feelings - was based on what an "angel"
had taught me before:
While - in the evening - I was standing in the second
line around the fire
(there was never enough space around the fire to get warm...),
waiting for the person, who sat across me, on the other
side of the fire, to attend our meeting,
a young man came to stand next to me, not by chance obviously:
22 year old Thomas from my mother's
town Leipzig... "I read your document
and if it is right for you, I could give you some feedback."
He said it so gently and lovingly, that I could truly
hear, what he had to say: "The people who are
attracted to the Walk about Love hate everything,
which has to do with "structure" and "systematical
thinking and acting"!
Germans are famous for "systematical thinking and
acting",
and the holocaust could not have reached the dimensions
of slaughter,
if German "people" had not invented the most
systematic killing techniques.
Isn't it a sign of redemption,
that I, the born German, had to learn from a German, born
48 years later,
that it would simply "not work",
what in my eyes was an "effective" way of making
The Walk reach its goals?
And this was the conclusion I reached during that cold
night at Sapir: "The
Walk about Love needs to become
The Walk about Self-Love, about learning total self-acceptance.
But for the time being you can apply this only
s p o n t a n e o u s l y a n d
i n d i v i d u a l l y ,
when you have the chance with a person while walking together."
I have followed this message through my nine weeks
and once more on my "parting-walk"
on May 11,2009.
It benefitted many an individual walker,
but it was not effective with concern to the Walk.
since those people with whom I "worked",
most often left the Walk at some stage.
Still there was a miraculous sign on my last night: Zwi and Uriyah...
The next morning, Sunday, March 15, 2009
15/3/90 Noted in my little block: Diary
and Intention:
My bombastic initiative was staged for one purpose only: to
trigger the multifaceted hole which resulted from my past
overdoing for my vision. Also the disappointment with all
the people, who at first are so enthusiastic about me, and
after a few hours or days, begin to fear me (Ronny, Rivka,
Daniela etc.) and the extreme event with
David & Eilat - it "happened" so I can heal
more of my hole "people are having difficulties with
me". .
I'll not try to change my behavior. I'll simply accept that
the Walk about Love was created as a healing situation for
me and not as a "mission", which calls out for me
as a missionary. I'm grate-full for both, having survived
"Park Sapir" and having understood so fast, why
I failed big time yesterday. I'll be available, not initiate,
I'll concentrate on 12 people each day and only repeat their
names, say "shalom so and so", and not disperse
my attention. If a new face and name will come to me, I'll
note the name and focus on the person for as long as possible.
And I'll constantly remember, that I'm with the Walk about
Love in order to heal myself and not to teach. Thank you Body,
for supporting me so perfectly."
Here I noted a verse from the Bibel, which I learnt from Yakir
Lipman Renboim on our way to Darijaat:
The
preparations of the heart are man's,
but the answer of the tongue is from YHWH Proverbs
16:1
It is Sunday, March 15, 2009
Morning Circle: Erez (Israel, Arad) and Christie (Holland) center
the group by their spontaneous dance around a walking-stick
I did not know Erez then, but later this
week I would have an exhilarating as well as devastating experience
with him
We set out from Park Sapir into the direction
of Wadi Karkeshet,
a name and place who nobody has heard of except for me.
I walk in front - the path which is familiar to me - while the
group walks somewhere else.
What harmony!
I'm waiting for the others, who now come
near me , but rest under a group of acacias
Where I find myself, there is an old
mattrass under the tree.
I lie down and take a picture of my pouch, my leg, my sandal,
my toes
Instead of walking on to my parking place,
the group climbs up the rocks to the south of it.
Some strong people - like Maria (France) - always take the appointed
nylon-bag with them
and gather the garbage , which they find on the way
Dana had walked with me for an hour at least,
starting her talk with comparing me to her two grandmothers.
From that topic we entered into great depth, as it happens so
often when people join me, or help me up and down, during our
walk
See the triangles in the rock next to the the resting walkers
