I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution in
learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!! "I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
Documentation of my "lekh-lekhâ
exercise" in October 2009 - scroll
down on each of these pages!
My intention is,
to not move from Khaelmonit Street 15 in Arad,
as long as this World continues to be as it is now
....
My kingdom is now whole,
even perfect,
everything found its place and nothing is missing.
Nothing
at all is missing in my life now!All
the past is with me - and all the future around me!
touch first and then click!
"Now
I am dancing and thanking,
day after day, hour after hour,
and there is no end to my joy."
I didn't have a camera
when I wrote this sentence
in Dec. 26, 2004,
when I sculpted "va-yeshev"
for a letter to family and friends.
So I inserted my dance
in my Modi'in flat
[spacious, but paid for by my children]
2 weeks before I left it,
on 2004_06_30
The Sufi Dervish spinning "Sama'a"
can be danced even in a public toilet! "What
is it good for?"
asked the pensioners in the hot sauna
of the Modi'in pool,
where I "swam"
333 times in 16 months.
What could I tell them in short but:
"It balances my body, my soul,
it balances all of me...
and it's fun!"
The settling in the "tranquil
oasis" (Bible,
Jes.33:20,
see my song ) in the middle of
the desert is not the only change in my life
There is my family.
Grandma-Wednesday at Mazkeret Batya, where
I had a room and my stuff from July 1 to December 9, 2004
Elah - after
a dance performance in July - embraces the quartet
For her last year in school, Sept 2004- 2005, she achieved her
goal,
of being accepted in the boarding school for ballet at Ginaton.
I'm happy for her, also because it is close to where my son, her
father lives.
I once met her in the train from Naharia after I had visited Immanuel&Efrat.
This was a rare opportunity for Elah of having to face her hated
grandma ...
I"ll still go hitchhike north for Grandma-Wednesday with
the "Quartet",
which always gives me a glimpse of the future "Heaven on
Earth",
only that now this will occur only once in two weeks [according to my daughter's wish]
and not once a week as in the last three and a half years.
Jonathan, Ronnit's
eldest,
celebrated his Bar-Mitzva in April 2004.
Alon's Bar-Mitzva
should have been celebrated in August,
but - after a painful lesson ... -
was finally arranged in November 2004.
The photo above shows the two boys,
when I again [like in 2003] took them
for a weekend to "our" jumping site
on the Lake of Tiberias, at Ginosar beach.
On the photo in the center,
taken by Immanuel, who visited us,
Alon jumps, while I, [on a permanent barge],
am waiting for my turn.
Rotem sits upon
one of the two "breasts" of "Mount Ararat"
Tomer
and his father in April 2003
at the end of my time as "foster-mother"
and again Tomer - with his stepmother -
in summer 2004, when I visited them.
In Sept. his mother demanded him back,
and his is now living with her in Tel-Aviv.
Then there are the changes concerning
my "Partners"
On July 13 we erected "our"
tent in the east,
and on Sept. 9, 2004,we erected it in the west
both times according to what "Rakhaf" wanted.
But Sa'ar, the owner of
"Rakhaf" also wanted, that we erect two additional tents... As to the R&D of the pyramidal tent,
see the pages in "the
PYRAMIDION or THE FUTURE"
a rare moment of working on the tents
together...
2004_10_11
Ever since July I was in panic of
the winter. I kept imagining,
that if we had a compound of three tents,
gathered around a covered center,
where we could use a gas heater,
we would manage.
Tamir, at least, found some nylon sheets,
so that - after (!) the first stormy rains on Nov.2 -
I could prepare my tent for winter.
I worked for 3 days, .... alone....
Tamir and Hagai didn't even call me,
to ask how I had survived the flood.
I am responsible-parental
for creating this situation,
but it doesn't mean, that I am not grieved.
And the grief has to be breathed-moved-sounded!
Facing Arad at sunset.
I know now, that the two tents were "not supposed" to be completed
and erected at that time.
For it's me, who "was supposed" to leave my tent and believe,
that I , too, deserve a safe place,
without having to give up the realization of my vision and my vocation.
Since
it will be the job of Arad's municipality,
to dispose of the monsters,
and though Ofir has "friends" there,
this will happen only the next day,
Ofir has to free the entrance to my home.
There was still more work to do for the crane,
but this was nothing compared to what "we had gone through"...
Two of the four trees along the wall between garden and road,
were so dead, that I could pull them out myself
(they had served as poles for my geranium flowers etc),
two others were still surviving
but no longer....
an image from my archive: July 2007: the overpowering "Satan-Shrubs"
to the right and the dead poles, which support the geranium
Now my precious pomegranate tree,
so tiny and miserable,
when I "took over" the wasteland
in front of my one-room flat
in December 2004,
will have space to grow and spread!
I've tears in my eyes - now -
when I watch how the first bloom,
which began to blossom,
while one fruit of the previous season
was still on the tree,
has shed its pretty petals
in order to evolve into a pomegranate...
Another uprooted root,
quite patheticly looking,
lies in front of my gate,
pointing towards
Albert's house.
The next day the garbage truck came,
and with the cooperation of Ofir,
four men succeeded in taking away,
what I had wanted to get rid of already then,
when I planned that "untimely water-project" in June 2006.
Now there was a lot to clean up,
done partly by Ofir the following week,
partly by me - in an ongoing effort,
to render beauty to what now lies waste.
For in order to create something new on the empty strip of soil
on both sides of the wall between us and our neighbors,
we must first "breathe" and "breathe" and enjoy
the space.
Moreover - the very same day, when the garbage-truck came -
I - and later Ofir and even Meital - had to launch the second part
of my "lekh-lekhâExercise"
....
Documentation of my "lekh-lekhâ
exercise" in October 2009
- scroll down on each of these pages!
All
the past is with me - and all the future around me!
