The Purpose  of   HEALING - K.I.S.S.

- as stated 12 years ago - was and is

  to help me and my potential P E E R s 

"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,

and - by extension - all of CREATion!"
Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013
and Overview of its main libraries

[If you look for a word on this page,
click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]

I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'

pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"




Back to Overview of all Songs

InteGRATion into GRATeFULLness
Singing&Sounding keeps me Sound


update 2008_01_28: I want to point out a "channeled" English translation of some lines in the second stanza : see K.i.s.s.-L O G 2008_01_28



Dedicated to Ya'acov, my brother-peer
see part of the story in "Water-Last Glimpse"

Last line of
the traditionial Hebrew Litany
"Our Father, Our King"

+ second stanza by
Christa-Rachel Bat-Adam
see continuation of its message

Late at night - 2007_08_17- Gal Mor said:
"You are singing first the traditional lyrics, and then yours!
It means, that you do not judge the first ,
but accept it together with your own."

It was, as if she had read a fleeting thought of mine,
while I let her listen to this song:
"Shouldn't I have separated the two stanzas
and created two different sound-buttons?"
No, I shouldn't!


"What are deeds to us, what are honor and bravery to us!
For all your manifestations in matter we must give thanks!,
For all your materializations in my feeling I do give thanks!"



The next morning:

At 23:20 I had completed this page with what I thought was a not yet recorded song
"mal'u asamenu bar".
The last activity was to insert the newly created page in the "Overview of other Authors".
But lo ! - the song "mal'u asamenu bar" already existed on June 10!
I was "not pleased",
especially since there had been a problem with recording the song and converting it into a sound-button,
and I had to do it all over again.
For what purpose did I attract this error and waste of time?

I let it rest for the night.
Waking up this morning I felt overwhelmed by feelings of sorrow,
following a deeply moving talk via "Skype" with Ya'acov Hayat yesterday evening .
[see The Story of Ya'acov, written in England, August 1997]
After a pause of almost 3 months he called me - remembering my birthday on August 15.
I asked him to update me about his life, but whatever he told,
was the very opposite of what I wanted and want for him:
"Heaven on Earth", or FULL-FILL-ment.

He told everything without expressing the slightest pain, anger or frustration,
except once, when I asked him:
"But how do you make a living now for yourself and your family."
"I'll tell you, but if you could see me, you would see how I flush with shame:
I've finally succumbed to living on the Allowance for the Disabled,
since all my endeavors to make a decent living failed."

Even his endeavors to contribute his excellent talents and experience
as a "counselor" and "facilitator" - without money -
have been rejected by some people.

I couldn't help saying:
"I don't understand your life!"

It was then, that he agreed, with a thin laughter:
"I begin to not understand it myself!"
Unlike in the past, when I had immediate advice for "frustrated" people,
I sighed , paused and said:
"This predicament is too huge to "do" anything about it.
I'll simply feel it, feel it with all my being, for the time being..."

Before that I had tried to encourage myself and him:
"Is there anything you are grate-full for?"
"Oh yes, for many things."

The first "thing" was, that he was "granted" to listen to a person in distress and support her.
He also mentioned Yael, my granddaughter, 8 years old, when she was Yaacov's pupil,
whose "Thank You" painting and words of 2004 are pinned up next to his computer [see below].
Still, I felt depressed and deeply pained by looking at my "brother's" life.

Suddenly a number struck me: the number 19! It is a meaningful number in the Jewish calendar.
[Only on Nov.25, 2010 - !!! - I learnt, that this is the time of the moon's orbit:
"Let's say, that it was Full Moon when you were born.
It will take 19 years, until you'll celebrate a birthday, when the Moon is Full"]

"You know, that my own predicament of lack of full-fill-ment lasted until November 1988,
until I was granted to create at least one thing in the exterior world: "Succah in the Desert".
I was 50 years and some months old then,
exactly as you are 50 years and some months old, now.
I was not granted to realize the larger vision,
of which the Succah was to be only a scientific R&D model ,
on the contrary , from 1993 onward every new creation in the frame of this vision, failed,
until I was forced to stop all exterior realizations, in January 2006.
[See the link "Predat-Nebo-Let-Go" on my website ARARAT-HeART]

"Still, I never fell back into the abyss of feeling Lack of Full-Fill-ment.
Everything I did - and failed - was fulfilling for me at the time I did it,
and in addition it taught me so much,
that now I KNOW, what my true vocation is.
It is not hidden in my Peace-through-Desert-Hosting-Economy-Vision,
It is not in creating exterior circumstances,
which would help people to get out of their victimhood and self-hatred,
it is my own healing and growing into wholeness,
from where one day I'll play my part in creating also the exterior "Heaven-on-Earth".

"As I said, I was 50, when I was released, liberated, truly "saved" from FRUSTRATION.
Does this mean, Ya'acov, that you, 19 years my junior, and 50 years old as I was then,
are about to find your vocation?
I believe so!
But you will not have to live the kind of 19 years, I've lived since!
Your vocation may not at all be in realizing anything exterior,
and it is not by chance, that even such wonderful opportunities for sharing your gifts,
like working in your daughters' and my grandchildrens' "Democratic School",
or your last hope "to be the loving father of a night-cafe for troubled youth",
were taken away from you."

At that point we thanked each other and parted.

As I said, my entire consciousness and feeling were filled with Ya'acov, when I woke up.
As usual I stretched my body in bed, sighed, breathed, squeezed and relaxed my eye-lids,
and felt all I was feeling, without judging it and without running away into "functioning".
When I was complete, and got up, and did the little morning "tasks" with joy and gratitude,
I opened the computer.
The first thing I felt like doing was to exchange yesterday's song for a new one.
The new song should express what I felt with concern to Ya'acov's and my frustration.

Already yesterday evening - after our talk - I felt strongly,
that for some time I should "leave alone" all the other people,
whom I've been "wombing in my womb of compassion" in a daily ritual for the last 10 months,
and focus on the Full-Fill-ment of Ya'acov, my twin-brother.

So - what song would help me focus on this goal????????

Yael, June 2004
With this painting
you'll remember all the hearts
and all the loves
which are sitting around you.
This year I enjoyed so much
to be your pupil

Yael, June 2008:
The intent was,
that the big heart is Yaacov
and all the hearts around him
are the people,
the animals,
the plants
and the stones,
that love him.
After the night of the end of the year
I remember
that he called me and said
that he was very moved
by the paint-ing
and that he put it in his room.
Just recently he said to me,
that the painting was still there
at the same place.

Yael's, my granddaughter's gift for Yaacov, her teacher,
June 2004

Yael was born in May 1996

Ya'acov enjoys my grandchildrens' "tent" in my flat at Modi'in, July 2003

Ya'acov and Mika, my youngest grandchild, are making fun, April 2007



Relationship Counseling in my bus
with Orit, about to become Yaacov's wife

Much later.... in July 1997 ... we met again,
see a glimpse of this meeting and what followed from it
in "RedSeaPartnerSHIP>Last Glimpse>A passage for Ya'acov"

Yahel, one of Yaacov's twins,
performing at Independance Day 2003,
with my granddaughter Rotem.

Itamar, my grandson, enjoys sitting on Yaacov's lap , 2002

In the winter 1999-2000,
after my "assignment in the Desert" seemed to have come to an end,
and I found shelter at the new home of my recently divorced son at "Shoham",
I had to find "something to do",
and followed "God's" advice, "to cease manifesting",
and instead "to drive backward into the future".
One such journey was into my songs, my own, and especially those of others.
I leafed through all the books etc.,
in which songs in the languages I learnt (and partly forgot) were dispersed
and copied them into a little book,
adding an alphabetic list in Hebrew, Latin and Arabic letters
which I, some months ago, photographed and put on my computer.

This morning, searching for a song for Ya'acov and me,
I opened this Computer List for the first time ever.
Should the song be in Hebrew or in another language?
My eyes started to scan the Hebrew list,
but stayed stuck already on the second title:
"Avinu Malkenu"!

I felt and knew,
that this traditional song of asking for compassion
suited my feelings.
So I started to do the technical work
of exchanging the "erroneous" "mal'u asamenu bar" for the "avinu malkenu".

Sometimes I'm doing some research on a song,
in this case on the "piyutim" website.

The "avinu malkenu" song,
which I probably learnt already at my Hebrew Ulpan in September 1964,
contains only the last line of the long ancient litany, as I found out.
But in trying to reach this line by leafing through the entire litany,
I came across a wording,
which hit me like a thunderbolt:

"Our father, our King,
fill our barns with "sovva"!"



The first thing I understood, was
that the song chosen for yesterday "by error",
that very secular, very early-Zionist, song

"mal'u asamenu bar" ="fill [plural!] our barns with grain"

is based on this line:



I wondered, yes marveled at the wording of the line:

why isn't the metaphor of the "barn" completed with the metaphor of "grain"?
Like the harvest metaphors in my beloved song
Psalm 126, the famous Shir Ha-ma'alot,

with its chorus:
"those who sow with tears, will reap with jubilation"

and its last line:
He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed,
shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,
bringing his sheaves with him.

Why should our barns be filled with "sovva"?

Moreover, the litany already asked for salvation from "hunger",
and for the provision of "kalkalah" and "parnasah",
i.e.the livelihood and making a living every day



looking in "Babylon" for an English term for "sovva",
I found not only the strange terms "satiation" and "satiety",
but the term "fullness".
All the 3 terms have a negative connotation,
meaning "to feel too full" of food or anything else,
but there is no neutral term in English
neither for being "satt", in German, or "save'a" in Hebrew
nor for the verb "saettigen", "sattmachen" in German, le-hasbi'a in Hebrew

[see Psalm 145 and the two songs about becoming satisfied with food]

But in "fullness" I felt the connection to "full-fill-ment",

and so,
with the term in Hebrew "sovva"
and the term in English "fullness"
I had found,
what I had been searching for so intensely for the last week:
a term for the main condition for Heaven on Earth,
- after the satisfaction of the basic needs:
food, water, housing, clothing, security, and love...-

Sovva - Fullness - FULL-FILL-ment.

It was then, that I walked to the pool and swirled in it,
which both - the walking through my little "Wadi of Compassion" -
and the Dolphin swirling in the water -
is the space in which my intuition, memory and creativity are at their peak.

I came home with a second stanza to the "avinu malkenu".

In beginning my own stanza also with
"avinu malkenu",
"Our Father, Our King"
I honor and bless "the people before me" ,
as expressed in the Heaven-on-Earth song,
and only make up for the male form of this address in my last line,
in which I encompass "God's" female aspect,
the magnetic essence versus the electric essence,
which expresses as will and desire, emotions and feelings.
But I want to stress,
that the present "God" does not want to play the role of "our father",
[see the last passage of "God's" comment on the book "Conversations with God"]
and even less - "God forbid" - the role of "our king",

See the passage:

"know that this 'father' thing is temporary.
As I've said,
these days the best way to understand my role in your life
is as the coach in your journey toward wholeness.
I'm happy to be helpful of course,
but until you don't miss me in the old father role,
you may not be grown up enough
to be wholly on your own,
your own creator."




Just a glimpse into another context of our friendship-partnership-brother/sister-hood:
Yaacov tries to help me with my two young partners, Tamir Peleg and Hagai Lev,
to start "ARARAT-HeART". in July 2004
There is another "Partnership"-image of Yaacov in "Desert Water Vision" (5)

See "The Story of Yaacob", August 1997

A new story started on May 24, 2009.
Its meaning became clear on Sept. 19.
It may be implied in 2 phone-camera photos
taken at Mazkeret Batya on Rosh Hashanah
when the two of us did NOT meet.......

Agreement 2009_11_09



On January 6, 2010, when we met on the veranda of my children at Shoham,
Ya'acov mentioned, that he always felt surprised when he saw photos of himself;
"I see myself very differently".
I took some shots on the spot and later sent them to him.
But it wasn't clear, if he liked himself on these....

February 14, 2010 - in the morning of our visit to Talila Hendel and in the evening together at Tamir's wedding


March 2, 2010, Ya'acov's 53th birthday
Ya'acov agreed to have a "Rachel-Birthday-Talk": 53 thanksgivings for the past and 3 desires for the next year.
I counted 64 thanksgivings, and he phrased 4 desires, which I asked him to later put in writing and send me,
so that I can think and desire together with him and for him.

In my 54th year
I experience joy and acceptance
of the experiences and events which I encounter.
acceptance of myself, of my life's path
and the things which I do and do not do.
I participate in the excitements and developments
of more people.

I travel, I am mobile and wander
and expand the radius of my movement.


April 14, 2010 [see also on Mika's pages]

A phone-call at 15:35: "Do you take Mika from kindergarden?"
"No, I didn't get permission for that!"

"I'm just entering Shoham, may I come for a short while?"
I find him outside - unexpectedly - in his new van.
Just 20 minutes before I had had the idea to search for a video of "La Belle et La Bete"
, Jean Cocteau 1946,
one of the few movies I went to see in the cinema as a student, probably in 1962.
It moved me so much, that I spent the money and time and went a second time.
Now I saw Ya'acov at the steering-wheel - through the open window of the front-door,
I saw him at eye-level, even a bit taller than me.
The transformation shocked me and reinforced my hope for the manifestation of the verse:

Then shall the lame man leap as a hart, [a verse in a biblical prophecy
see also and gather them from the ends of the earth,
among them the blind and the lame...
He demonstrated the van by driving me to Mika's kindergarden,
where we found her and her mother just entering their own car.

I remember, how Ya'acov told me once, when I used to visit him by bike in winter 1984-5:
"When I want to cry, I close myself in my room and put on some Blues Music!"

Tom Waits in the romantic commedy 'The Tiger and The Snow'
[set in occupied Baghdad during the Iraq War where Waits appears in a dream scene as himself, singing:
YOu can never hold back spring
[one of many videos] ~~~
[and another video with fantastic photos mainly showing homeless people in the city]

Recently I saw another deeply moving movie - this time on TV:
The Tiger and the Snow [2005]
with the beloved couple Robert Benigni and Nicoletta Braschi
from the Holocaust Tragicomedy "Life is Beautiful" [1997]

The snow & tiger scene ~~~~ Trailer in Italian

You can never hold back spring
You can be sure that I will never
Stop believing
The blushing rose that will climb
Spring ahead or fall behind
Winter dreams the same dream
Every time

You can never hold back spring
Even though you've lost your way
The world keeps dreaming of spring

So close your eyes
Open your heart
To one who's dreaming of you
You can never hold back spring

Remember everything that spring
Can bring
You can never hold back spring
a youtube with the lyrics only
The finale (with the song again), where his secret kiss makes her recognize who he is

On May 20, 2012, I also opened a song, of which the lyrics and tune seem to be by Roberto Benigni himself
There are several performances by Benigni, but I prefer this cover: Quanto ti ho amato [
how I loved you],
In a trio of three men [see from minute 4:00] Benigni presents a funny version-singing, dancing, kissing

See now, 2013 songs, August Nr. 3, how I adapted to this tune - someone's beautiful poem:
I am , I am a tree and old

[This is an automatic translation , and not everything is perfect,
but the ideas come through, I think]

If you had asked me: "How are you?"
If you had asked me where we go
I would have replied "well, sure you know"
I talk to you but without breath
I get lost in your eyes colossal
the North Star are you laughing at me and touches not, so not worth
I do not speak and if I'm wrong then I do not speak




April 19, 2010, Day of Remembrance [see - below - the flags on Sivan-Street]

Yesterday, on a little hike with Lior Cohen, my landlords' daughter,
we discovered this purple flower, in German: Lichtnelke, in English: Red Campion]
as it grew out of the asphalt,
close to the edge of the desert.
Now - half an hour before my weekly phone-talk with Ya'acov - I ran there again to photograph it.

Ya'acov, You can never hold back spring!

From the perspective
of this embodiment
of survival

I look up north
and see all the flags
in honor of
the Day of Remembrance
and the Day of Independence/Al-Nakba.

Looking south
I see the endless desert, crossing through Israel and Palestine
and all through
our Middle East


see 2 more images on
K.i.s.s.-log 2008_03_07

On that same page,
4 years later,
on March 7, 2007,
what this
'flower out of the mortar'

As to the edge of junk
(on the right image):
how it looks now,
after Daniel G.
- inspired by me -
rented this house,

as a physical location
for a new community,
as I forsee it

See the scene with Ya'acov and Talila, in p.14
and see the sculpture of Ya'acov with his family,
a newspaper cutting from 2001 , found in 2010.
See Learn&Live 4, about our beginnings 1984.

February 15, 2011:
Temporary Separation
  [Nov. 4, 2010, reinforced on Febr. 1, 2011]  : A Dream Tonight.

We got off your car next to a make-shift huge building in the middle of an endless field.
In the one-storey structure old clothes were being sold and that's were you were headed.
We entered into a very long corridor and you in your wheelchair raced ahead.
I was sure, that at some time I would see you again, and walked around idly,
passing the packed boxes to both sides, open boxes from floor to ceiling.
Without looking for anything, I came across some clothes, which once belonged to me.
I took them, - among them I remember clearly a thin purple-like sweater,
which I inherited from my daughter 10 years ago
and which has loyally served me - as an undershirt under thick sweaters,
for instance during my pilgrimage in the Pyrenees and last summer in Ireland,
and even recently in Jerusalem (see Learn&Live 16>February 3)
At the end of the corridor the area was less clear - free spaces, sideways, people.
But you were nowhere to be found.
Finally I decided to call you. I searched my usual small backpack and got panicky:
No cellphone! I had mixed it up with a TV remote control, when I left Mika's family.
It wasn't Shoham, it was Kfar-Wradim for north in the Galilee, where they once lived.
There was absolutely no chance, that you or anyone else could reach me,
unless I would hitchhike all the way back to the Galilee - in this unpleasant weather.
Standing there - perplexed, distressed and sad - I woke up.

[After Febr. 1, 2011- the chain of the symbol, inserted at the end of Learn&Live12 - broke...]



2012-02-21--- 2013_03_25DELICIOUS      DELETION


"Abraham" , (1997) e-mail quote on February 21,2012

2012-02-21--- 2013_03_25DELICIOUS      DELETION


A New Message From VERONICA - 2013-01-22

2012-02-21--- 2013_03_25DELICIOUS      DELETION

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