I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
7:00 My Body,
my Partner,
my God
I give thanks to a part of our brain, about which I
learnt ...
The cerebellum (Latin: "little brain"), a region
of the brain
that plays a role in the integration of sensory perception
and motor control.
In order to coordinate motor control, there are many neural
pathways
linking the cerebellum with the cerebral motor cortex (which sends information to the muscles
causing them to move) and the spinocerebellar tract (which provides ... feedback on the
position of the body in space). The cerebellum integrates these pathways,
like a train conductor, using the constant feedback on body
position to fine-tune motor movements :
I give thanks for the fact,
that for once I'm not afraid of a plan,
which means that I'm focused on functioning on my part,
but am truly looking forward
towards "Grandma
Day" with the "Quartet".
When walking with Nella, I saw the first "Easter-Bells",
as they are called in German. Osterglocken under a young palm-tree!
Finetuning to my Present
I'm glad, I managed to sculpt
this day's Thanksgiving before the trigger at 7:45.
I'm still (8:50) trembling, though this was one of the rare
triggers,
which I recognized immediately as such,
and therefore was not triggered back,
but could listen lovingly to the discharge, and in this case - also got information
about the specific hole of E.,
which now wants to be healed
- as all holes in our wholeness which attract triggers
for the purpose of healing such holes.
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What characterizes the "activation
of a hole in my wholeness", is,
that the "trigger" has little to do with the
content of what is being triggered.
And since I could truly listen - which meant both:
to not take the blame for having organized a grandma-day
without asking E.,
and - more difficult - to bear the pain, that I seemingly
had caused her -
I could discern and perceive the pain so well, that
I dared to open my mouth: "Even I, your mother-in-love,
didn't know,
that you have such great pain concerning these 2 families!"
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An only child?[Waiting with
Mika in the car before driving to the train-station]
"and walking humbly with
your God" [Bible, Micha 6:5]
Please
let me find a way to .......
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"It
is the
feeling of Cain,
and the hole is more than personal - as you know.
But now that you yourself have become aware
of what was triggered this morning,
you can radiate on her
- without words -
what you desire for "Efrat"!!!"
Thank
you!
11:20
Please, go on listening to me.
"I'm right with you, inside
of you!"
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What I grasped only now - after
a flood of more discharge - is,
that deeper than her pain
about being "without a family around here"
herself,
is the pain about Mika
"growing up as an only child with no siblings".
I knew, of course, that this prospect tortures her without
end,
and that more than she wants my "being here"
for herself,
she wants Mika to have another family member around
her.
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I've
been doing this finetuning in your presence,
because I really need your help!"
"You
know, that the only help I can give,
is to stage experiences which will trigger her more,
and at the same time to surround her with people,
who support her, hold her, like a midwife the mother-to-be.
"The real work has to come from her own Free Will.
" I'm happy that you,
who became a trigger for her without intention,
were free and whole enough to also act as her supporter.
You were free of guilt - for having been the trigger,
free of guilt also, though taking responsibility -
concerning that lack of communication
between some of the main actors in your life.
You are not their victim,
but neither are you to be blamed for it.
Keep feeling and moving
this pain!
And at the same time radiate your desire,
the desire for continuous loving communication
between all the 16 members of your family."
Fetching
her from kindergarden. "Imma, see my drawings!"
On our way out we meet "Daddy", the kindergardener
(of Dutch origin)
For
the first time, it's not me, who is fetched from this spot,
after having arrived by train from the south, from Beersheva,
but me, who lets them off at this spot,
with the stroller and all the luggage of Mika.
I'll drive home to Shoham alone, in their car,
while they'll take the train and travel North, to Acco,
to Efrat's father and mother, and her brothers' families.
13:30
We had to leave together - to the kindergarden to fetch Mika,
to wait with Mika in the car,
until Efrat had bought "Falaffel" to eat,
to accompany them and let them off at the airport trainstation,
and to find my way back, driving through the maze of the airport
area.
Her last words were relaxed: "Enjoy
yourself!"and she meant it.
Now I may have 3 hours to rest and be alone and all-one.
I feel whole and at peace
with the way I supported my daughter-in-love
and also with the way she let herself be supported.
She couldn't yet say:
"Enjoy yourself with your four grandchildren
in my house."
But she could say: "Enjoy
yourself" , and it's with this blessing
that I live the hours towards "Grandma-Day"
Finetuning
to my Present
And then they came - an hour late , at
17:30 - all the four together.
Micha is abroad, and for Ra'ayah it was closer to bring her
kids to Modi'in,
from where Uri would take them together with his own kids to
Shoham.
I was grate-full for another hour alone with digesting the morning.
Only the next day, towards noon, I asked: "Why did you come so late, by the
way?" Arnon answered: "Because Uri and Ronnit woke up only
after 5 o'clock,
so Yael and Itamar hosted us with sweets(he
detailed them!), and then each of us took a shower!"
"You showered already at Modi'in?"I
said - in a low voice,
so Arnon could not guess my feelings behind my words,
the feelings of nostalgia -
the more than one hundred fifty grandma-days, (Modi'in July
2002 till June 2004)
when all of them bathed before being fetched by their parents,
or even before sleeping over,
"the big ones together", and the "little-ones
together".
And also the feelings of relief, and with it the fear which
was relieved:
they had intuited, that it would be better to not overuse Efrat's
flat ..
Since
I was terrible afraid,
that Nella would do, what she did with Micha and Arnon last
weekend,
and bite Yael and Itamar, with whom she was not familiar,
I led the children - and Nella - outside into the night,
so as to let the dog become used to the kids.
How wonderful, that none of these children inherited my fear
of dogs.
There was no chance, when I was a kid, that I would ever stroke
a dog,
let alone, if I had been bitten like Arnon was bitten.
All the four, but most of all Arnon, did everything,
to make Nella feel at ease with them.
We passed by the closest playground,
and the "little-ones" staged their first recitation:
"robotboy le-robotop
[5 times] "yafot la'asot tzarot"[it's nice to make troubles] "shev be-sheqet robotboty"[sit quietly, robot -
boy] [from the TV program "robotboy']
Ayelet:"Savta!
Take this picture!"
When
we walked around the Dommim-Hill,
along the ugly dust road of the future Commercial Center,
I saw this heart-warming image again,
and sure enough, when I showed them the photo the next day,
they had the same memory, the
"Full-Moon-FULL-FILL-ment" , "when we declaimed that song of ours
-
about the best quartet of the world"
and Ayelet suggested: "When you put this photo on your
website,
you can compare it with one of those pictures"
taken 6 months ago in Arad...
whole&full-filled,
never perfect&complete
Keep It
Simple Sweetheart K.I.S.S.
- L O G 2
0 0 8
February 29, 2012
Already on Febr. 3 Yanina sent a link to a video, but
I couldn't open it.
When yesterday another link to another youtube couldn't be opened,
I asked Daniel's advice, and that's how I became acquainted with a wonderful youtube parody: Loriot: Feierabend : Ich will nur ruhig sitzen
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The video, which Yanina had sent already on Febr.
3 and which I now could watch,
was totally different, but not less thrilling: Lemurian
Singing
When I told Yanina about our success and enjoyment,
she asked me to crop these 2 images from the latter:
******
The theme of the Iranian movie, which "stole"
the Oscar price from Israel,
is the Altzheimer disease and what it does to the family of a sick
father. This
info came from Clalit- Health Insurance
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