I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want,
then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what
may! 8:46 I desire to wholly sense my
pain on my tongue and to wholly feel my little apprehensions
concerning this and the following 15 days of the Pesach season
= a "rupture" of my routine.
I desire to accept that I'm not at my best and do not have to
play "cheerful grandma" here. "I breathe and enjoy
every movement in my feelings, each sensation in my belly, on
my skin....
Spirit, Body, Heart and Feelings are manifesting God, this with
each and every breath we know." (see
song)
9:15
My Body, my Partner,
my God
Only 3 days ago I gave thanks to our tongue,
not imagining that there ever could be any pain.
Now the pain - not visible, but very much "there"
-
makes eating, drinking, even talking difficult.
All the more I give thanks to you for the usual perfect functioning
of all the muscles and nerves of our tongue.
10:05 I give thanks for having been able to
cautiously share with my daughter-in-love
how I am afraid of "routine-breaking days" in general
and of today in particular [Efrat: "I
hate these Shabbats, we have to simply pass them",
"But that's exactly what makes me afraid: your hating
Shabbats!
Since I'm here, I don't want to just pass this day, I want
us to enjoy it..."
"You don't have to burden yourself with my problem..."
"But I do burden myself with your problems, just like
you burden yourself with mine!
But if we intend to turn the curse into a blessing, we may
find the right balance
between you being with Mika, I being with Mika, and the three
of us being together!"] Though while sharing I felt E's
resistance and needed to voice also my fear of this
I felt better, and some nice interactions with Mika - like
watering the plants -
made the "separation" - their going out and my coming
here - harmonious.
I wonder, if I should go deeper into this fear of "routine-breaking
days"
- the fear of Sundays while a child, and of Shabbats since
I got married.
I don't have this fear, when I am al-one.
But on days, on which I am "too much" together with
others,
I feel the tension resulting a) from lesser intensity in my
living
b) in projecting on others that they expect something from
me.
But - and this is the reason I'm bringing up this problem
with you now -
let's assume there wouldn't be Shabbats and festivals and
school holidays!
there would only be ongoing "holy routine"....
"There would not be the kind and the measure of 'excitement'
which you , like everyone, needs to reach 'full-fill-ment',
'excitement' from both: delight and fright ,
the fright of facing challenges ".
I still haven't completed the work on 'shuvah' in the
Isaiah song.
and the discovery, that it has to do with joyful excitement.
"yes, if you could remember 'shuvah' in the moment of
fright,
the fright of 'routine-breaking hours/days' ,
you might be able to turn the fright into delight right from
the beginning.
And this then would be an aspect of
'Heaven-on-Earth-in-Body'!
"Exactly!"
Pictures from our outing on Thursday and Friday
to the other end of the trail, which I would like to call "the
Bareket trail",
but for the time being call "the Abba-Elah" trail, so as
to remind Mika of the hike on which the four of
us discovered it!
The
advantage of beginning the trail from the other end,
i.e. from the northern outskirts of "Gan Hevel",
the central park in Shoham,
is, that it's not too far to reach it,
while carrying Mika on my shoulders,
as long as we need to use asphalted streets.
The first time, we walked down the wild trail,
I searched for a place to sit on,
and found what at first I thought was a sewage cover.
But when there was no bad smell,
and we heard the water flowing evenly,
as if a little creek was running underneath,
I praised our angel for this "well".
It's there, where we can be "in Nature",
and still be comfortable,
when wanting to nosh something or to drink,
without risking to be hurt by thistles and thorns
and sophisticated flying seeds.
From there Mika can safely watch ants
and feed them
("if you give me a wetted crumb from
your mouth,
it will be easier for the ants to eat them!"
She shoved some crumbs to the tip of her tongue
and let me take them out,
while uttering: "disgusting!"
mag'eel.
How does she know this word?)
And when she suddenly sang two lines of a song,
not accepting my remark, that it was Pesach not Chanuka,
I showed her the gigantic dry stalks around the "well": "Look they all have a kind of 'chanukia'
on their heads."
And now she wanted me to pluck
one chanuka chandelier after the other,
big ones and small ones. "I'll bring them to Imma!"
When we finally left,
I convinced her to let the bunch wait for us on the 'Well',
and promised her twice on the way to retrieve it,
which indeed we did,
though our path back didn't pass there.
The greatest attraction are these animals,
which creep out in the dozens towards the evening now.
My research on the Internet did not help me to know for sure,
if this is a centipede or a millipede,
if it's a 'nadall' and poisenous
or a harmless "marbee-raglaim" = many
feets, or "rav-raglaim".
In any case, we touch the creatures only with a stick.
Another great attraction are what Mika
calls "snails",
though I could prove to her, that they grown on stalks,
i.e. that they are fruits in the shape of spirals,
just like the milliped coils into a spiral, when scared. The first pages of Healing-K.i.s.s.
are full with these spirals...
A little girl walking home on a wild trail
at sunset
A faraway Dommim
tree in the early morning,
photographed from the civilized street, in which the little girl lives..
Imma before leaving for kindergarden: "Throw your dummy into your
bed!"
Mika obeys hesitantly, slowly, gradually.
Parting from the dummy is truly 'excruciating' for her.
In the afternoon we walk-ride to our "well"
again
Again we play with the millipeds, in several
places, with different populations.
Mika looked for "babies", which then had to be brought
to imma or abba,
Then she identified them with members of the family, including
grandma,
She so much loves the yakhad,unity
of the family!
So- since I was more skilfull with lifting the creatures on
sticks,
it was my task to bring the family together...
Mika
seen through the "hanukkia-stalks" on a background which looks,
as if no houses and streets were around
13:50 When my two girls returned
from their outing, it was Efrat's guess, that the pain on my
tongue indicated "Candida"', the more so as by now
my tongue was covered with a yellowish slime. Despite Shabbat
she reached her dentist and the pharmacist - and drove to Superpharm
to bring me oil of the Australian tea-tree to gurgle with and
a "Tongue Cleaner".
I've never heard of such a device, nor that, as Efrat taught
me, 80% of all bacteria in the mouth are on the tongue, not
on the teeth. The day before I had noshed especially badly.
And I've never been strict with mouth hygiene. Efrat gave me
a new tooth-brush. "It should be
replaced every 3 months and you probably use it for hundreds
of years!" I don't clean the cup, in which I put
the dentures at night, properly etc, "but
there was no problem so far!" "Well , now there is!"
she said.
I feel bad and shall go to sleep, - Mika, who had asked so
sweetly: "at mesakaekaet =mesakhaeket
iti?" do you play
with me, which we did, also went to bed and so did Efrat
15:37 I did sleep, but not having
eaten anything but "actimel", I now feel bad in the
rest of my body. Still I want to go on with this page. Soon
there won't be much opportunity for this...
. Candidiasis
often know as oral thrush is a fungal infection that occurs
when the yeast Candida albicans reproduce in large numbers.
It can also be called angularchelitis. It results in red and
cream or white colored, slightly raised patches on the mucous
membrane of the tongue, mouth and throat that form on the mouth's
moist surfaces. The mucous membrane beneath the patches is usually
raw and bleeding. The overgrowth of this fungus results when
the balance in the normal oral microbe population is disturbed....
Tissues under the patch can be painful It can cause difficult
in swallowing and diminish the sense of taste. ...This is a
common condition in .., elderly ... with denture wears who are
over closed ,... People with dry mouths also have a higher occurrence
of Candidiasis.
Treatment consists of controlling the conditions
that caused the outbreak. Because candidiasis is common among
denture-wearers, a thorough daily cleaning of dentures is important.
Removing dentures at night also allows the denture-bearing tissues
to regenerate. Saliva substitutes or prescription medication
can help. Good oral hygiene is essential. It can also be treated
with antifungal/anti-inflammatory ointment. Also try hard not
to lick your lips especially when the corners are cracked. Fluconazole
is very helpful along with rigorous daily oral care
Wikipedia: Candida: Another common
Candida infection is oral candidiasis caused by acrylic dentures,
especially in elderly denture wearers
After
a long while on the "Well", I could win Mika over
to walk/ride on,
and as the trail ran parallel to the southern outskirts of Bareket,
we heard Shabbat songs in Yeminite intonation from a public
loudspeaker. As I read, the people who founded the
place in 1952, were Yemenites. "That's music",
said Mika and loved to listen as I did.
The "composition" of Shabbat songs
and our lonely walk through high wild herbs
was delightful.
To add to the strange "composition" ,
we discovered an overthrown supermarket cart in the thorns!
It wasn't easy to get it going,
and when Mika sat inside, I was scared, it might turn over
- she had already been cleaned from thorns etc.
when I lowered her from my shoulders into the herbs -
but we had great fun,
while the sun disappeared and reappeared and added to our show... [as to the latter, see
tomorrow!]
song
of the day
Mika's two lines from a Chanuka song [while we are nearing Pesach...]
From 'banu khoshekh le-garesh':
'sura khoshekh, hal'a shkhor, sura bifne ha-or' 'go
away darkness, make place for the light' As
can be seen on the song page, my daughter has changed this text
to my delight,
but how should Mika understand what's wrong with choosing light
over darkness,
as if one could exist without the other?
