| The
Purpose of HEALING - K.I.S.S.
- as stated 12 years ago - was and is
to help me and my potential P E E R s
"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,
and - by extension - all of CREATion!" |
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I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
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K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
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1
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How
Learn
And |
I
The
Train |
Heal
Conditions
In |
Myself
For
Creating |
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Whole
On
Conditions
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Self-acceptance
Earth
Daily |
Click!
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Then those who see Ha-Shem, will talk
among each other,
and he listens and he
hears
yatakaalamuna allathina
yarau'na-hu ,
va-yusri va-yasma'
Dann die IHN schauen, werden reden miteinander,
und er lauscht und er
hoert
Puis ceux qu'ils voient Ha-Shem, se parlent
l'un a l'autre
il entends,
il ecoute
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It seems that I chose 26 actors
for my life's drama and those 26 actors chose me! One
common trait of all roles is "mutual dependency"
between them and me.
With 16 actors - my family - the mutual
dependency is life-long! With my landlords
at Arad & with my 6 starchildren, born
between 1986-88, it may be temporary.
My children: Immanuel, Ronnit, Micha; my
children-in-love: Efrat, Uri, Ra'ayah; my 10 grandchildren [born
1987-2005): Elah-Alon-Tomer-Mika; Jonathan-Rotem-Yael-Itamar;
Arnon-Ayelet
My landlords: Ofir & Meital+ Lior (2002) & Amit (2005).
My starchildren: Lior Oren, Zipi Winkler , Dina Strat , Meshi
Taib, Gal Mor, Boris Arons [26=YHWH=13+13=ahavah+ahavah =LOVE!]
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Intro
to
k.i.s.s.-l o g + all
dates
~ Library of
7 years ~ HOME
~ contact ~
SEARCH
( of Latin characters only!) my
eldest granddaughter's video-gallery
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Actions:
Kisslog: healing-creating
TV & Internet: learning
With the family at home,
including Elah
with Tomer at Abu Gosh.
Playing w. Mika. Traveling
|
Interactions:
with Immanuel and Efrat and Mika and Elah, then (without
Elah) fetched
Tomer from Ben-Shemen, had dinner at Abu-Gosh, drove T. back,
drove home through the rain. |
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The FOCUS of MY INTENTION
TODAY
Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want,
then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what
may
7:51
I desire to watch with
humor how I attract nano-blames & re-act as if still believing
that I am righteous.
I desire to clarify the nano-problem in the relationship between
my son, me and Efrat (see
below)
I desire to radiate joy and wholeness not only to Immanuel,
Efrat & Mika, but to Elah & to Tomer.
I desire that Tomer will cause his father & stepmother to
stop worrying and begin to enjoy him.
I desire my travel back - tonight - to be easy.
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image
of the day
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hodayot [thanksgivings] for
today
My Body, my Partner,
my God
I give thanks to your fitness and wellness
[again no time to be specific,
since I wanted to use the free morning hour for much finetuning]
I am grate-full for the full-filling togetherness yesterday,
and especially for the threesome walk, also with recovered
Nella.
I'm grate-full that my son has become my trainer in releasing
righteousness. I'm grate-full for a beautiful German movie:
Don Quichotte 2008:
"The World is too magnificent to hide in the dark corners
of your soul."
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A
DREAM
The alarm of some car or house woke me up at 6:20,
and with it a dream emerged with such force,
that my mind spun it on after I was awake:
People, young people, gathered in some kind of a huge
veranda- court,
my precious chimes (a gift from David, while I was at
Ein-Gedi)
and other items were hanging from the low ceiling.
At first the people behaved without respect towards
me,
but suddenly I took over some kind of leadership
and said something like:
"Only those who know what
they want here, shall gather around me."
I sat on the ground and a small double circle of people
closed in on me.
But soon there were more and more circles around us
and with it confusion took over again.
While already awake I tried to make my voice heard:
"Within 3 minutes you divide
into circles of 8 people
(so that later pairs of working with each other could
be formed),
and only those people stay who
know exactly what they want from themselves,
mind you : what you want from yourselves, not what you
expect from ME.
I shall only be a sounding-board for what you already
know inside.
All other people I want to leave."
I also imagined, that in case those "other people"
would not leave voluntarilty,
I would suggest to the sitting circles:
"Please, without any word
- radiate your wish, that these people may leave,
so that you can do effective work with yourself, which
will benefit also them."
And the astonishing thing would happen: Those people
would actually leave!
Then of course I would have to limit the amount of people
even more,
since there would be still too many to do effective
work.
But the sleeping-waking dream ended there....
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Finetuning to my Present
NOT a dream!
The context of the first situation I don't remember.
But I remember all too well the following.
Immanuel is sitting on the sofa, while Efrat and I
are somewhere standing.
Efrat - with "serious" humor:
"It's only because of you,
that your mother doesn't want to stay here.
Not because of her house, garden, pool in Arad, but
because of you!"
I keep silent and do not correct it,
but savor both: that my son "has to hear this",
and not from ME,
and that my daughter-in-love defends me.
Immanuel does not utter a word.
Only this morning (it's now 8:07) I became aware of
this crooked process,
and though I promise each day, to no longer try to
change myself etc.,
this crookedness implies too much potential of deteriorating
denial (or what??)
and I must put it right expressively - without blaming
myself or anybody else.
Another situation which needs finetuning:
Immanuel from the kitchen sink, while the rest of
us sits around the dinner table:
"Mother, the
"Brita" (a
jug which filters water)
always needs to be filled up."
He had said this once or twice in the past, and I
am very careful to do this usually.
"It was too cumbersome
to put the jug under the tap,
since the sink is full of dishes."
I said this with a low voice, and luckily left it
at that.
Efrat - again feeling discomfort for my sake - said
lovingly:
"You are so perfect, that
it's even good, that here and there a tiny blemish
exists."
What had "really" happened, was this:
I had asked: "Does anyone
want a cup of coffee?" Both wanted.
Since the "Brita" was empty (in this case
it was emptied by Efrat and not re-filled),
and - pressured (!) by my promise to offer coffee
- I felt that there was no time,
- to first fill the jug,
- wait until the water would run through the filter,
- and only then fill the electric kettle,
- wait for the boiling of the water and pour it into
the prepared cups ---
(This pattern of feeling "pressured", whenever
someone is waiting for me,
is something I've been watching for decades...).
So what did I do?
I - secretly - squeezed the electric kettle under
the tap - despite the dishes,
and filled it with unfiltered water.
While the water was warming, I could have filled the
"Brita" in the same way,
but I didn't.
Summary: I fell into the "righteousness"
trap once,
but at least I did not do it by blaming someone else,
like:
"It wasn't me, who
left the Brita unfilled, but your wife!"
12:29
I found a chance to ask Immanuel and Efrat "to
talk"....
"for 5 minutes only"
- a time measure which caused Immanuel to smile rightaway,
and when - with his response - it took perhaps 15
minutes, he mocked me again,
good-heartedly, but still - my fear of taking other
people's time - was triggered.
[not completed]
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Finetuning
to my Present
This Finetuning is into whole and harmonious situations:
The walk of our threesome yesterday was simply delicious.
Immanuel was comfortable with me and it seemed to me,
that he even made an effort to be more patient,
and to make up for his former impatience.
Mika turned out to be a brave hiker,
Both Immanuel and later Efrat mentioned again
- with humor, but they must have been terrible triggered at
the time -
my expression that "this girl is
totally degenerated",
despite my attempt, previously and now, to make them quote me
exactly:
"Not the girl is degenerated, but
her legs are!"
But , hopefully, they can forget this incident now,
after I explained - and Immanuel adopted the explanation:
"Obviously Mika is like you were
that age:
You became tired and bored when walking on an easy path,
but the more difficult , stony and steep the track,
the lighter and easier you skipped along it."
Most of the track, i.e. the exterior situation, needed concentration,
but this didn't prevent Mika from staging a parallel virtual
story
about "Mother Bear", "Father Bear" and their
children...
And whenever Immanuel would forget that he was an actor,
and would call Mika "Mika",
she would sternly remind him:
"Not Mika, but Mother bear"!
It had been the same when we played in my room the previous
day.
She had decided that I was Gal and she Amit, two of her kindergarden
mates,
[see "Galli and
Amit" for instance on July
6 in Shoham's Sunflower-Park]
and when her mother came in, she was Mika.
For an hour at least she would always bring us back to our roles,
when we, the grownups, forgot who we "were" :
"Gal" or with her nickname "Gallush" and
"Mika",
while she herself was "Amit" or "Amitush".
Another wondrous experience was our Shabbat-dinner
(delicious, but with a cook like Immanuel this is self-understood..).
Recently the family had returned to a forgotten ritual:
At the end of the common meal one person asks another:
"How was your day, grandma?"
And I must then tell some details and my general feeling.
At first the order of family members being asked is this, was
accidental:
Grandma, Abba, Imma, Mika.
But since then Mika is adamant about not changing the order.
Which means she'll be the last one to be asked.
And she already knows how to answer to the point.
Yesterday night - before dinner -Abba said:
"Mika, we now want to introduce you
to a ceremony!"
And to my great surprise and joy,
it was my own Shabbat ritual, developed already in winter 1986-87,
when I- during my "Guest-Semester" in Berlin - invited
students to my home,
for both : the celebration of " Kabbalat
Shabbat" and the celebration of " Havdalah".
applied on every Shabbat Eve in Succah
in the Desert
which I had taught my family a little before the split between
Immanuel and his first wife
( "Exactly now, after we are finally
celebrating Shabbat so nicely - it's all over",
said R. with sorrow and grief - in May 1998).
When Efrat united with Immanuel, she adopted the ritual whole-heartedly,
and they celebrated Kabbalt Shabbat especially when Immanuel's
3 children visited.
But since Mika's birth in December 2005 they forgot about it.
Now the three parts of my - very deep -ritual with candles,
wine, challah
- returned:
It was incredible how Mika grasped the meaning of each part:
- the flames of the candles are being held together and melted
into one:
what I see symbolized in this, is the unifying of things which
I have difficulty to accept
with the rest of my being:
Or as I expressed it in puzzle
piece 7 Total Self-Acceptance:
The WRESTLING with
and EMBRACING of
the parts we hate in us
Immanuel simplified this into:
"What is my greatest wish for the next week?"
When it was Mika's turn to united the flames (with help),
she said clearly, as if she had done this ritual many times:
"I want Nella (the
dog) to become healthy again,
and I (myself)
don't want to be injured (le-qabbel makkah)".
In this ritual she wasn't the last, but the third person,
and it had to be according to this order also,
when the turn of wine and then the turn of bread came:
Immanuel filled the Shabbat chalice a little above the brim,
and everyone had to wish for "abundance" of specific
things.
For Mika's sake we simplified the word to "many things".
[I can't remember what did Mika said},
As to the ritual of the challah, Immanuel skipped my deepened
blessing:
thinking of one of the many processes of how the baked challah
reached our table,
which is the kind of blessing before every meal,
cherished so much by the "Quartet" on "Grandma-Days".
He "only" distributed pieces of the challah,
handing it first to himself
("for only if I love myself, can I love others")
and then to everybody else, by calling the name of each one:
"Efrat", "Mika", "Savta"!
[see some photos - though bad
- on Nov. 24]
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From
puzzle piece 50, Maryam,
2002_02_23-24
It is dark now, the "Exit
of Shabbat".
In Jewish tradition a new day starts with the evening,
"It was evening and it was morning
- ONE day",
states the first of the two Biblical myths of creation.
This myth uses 5 times the verb "God differentiated",
3 times for light and darkness,
twice for water and non-water,
the first dualities a new-born meets when leaving the womb.
But to make the point that duality doesn't annihilate oneness,
the myth doesn't say : evening-morning-first (rishon)
day.
Like it later lists the second, third, forth, fifth, sixth
day.
Though a day is diffentiated in evening and morning,
it is still ONE [aekhad].
Thus the rainbow is bridged from ONE
day [Gen.1,5],
through the ONE flesh that man
and woman become
everytime they "know" each other [Gen.3,24;
4,1]
to the ONE God [Deut
6,4], YHWH, all that happens.
But a word - aekhad - is not
enough to make us remember.
A regular day must be lived in Oneness!
therefore the seventh day is established:
After 6 days God "rested"
["shavat"]
from all doing [Gen. 2,1-2].
He did not create, he did not differentiate, he did not manifest.
The verb doesn't really mean "rested",
there are other words for "rest".
It means exactly this: "to do not".
And it's very appropriate that in modern Hebrew
the verb "shavat" is reserved for "to go on
strike".
Both are celebrated - entering Shabbat and exit.
The Eve of Shabbat, the day of non-differentiation
is symbolized by the woman's lighting of 2 candles.
There only 2 commandments specified for women.
This is one of them.
The candles must burn to the end.
My unique tradition is to symbolize Oneness
by making the two candle flames One flame.
And by saying out loud or at least in my heart,
what I want to unite in myself :
Something I am in conflict with,
something I don't love in myself.
For this is the meaning of becoming One,
as God JHWH, "all that happens", is One:
"you shall love JHWH, your God,
with all your heart"
which means According to the ancient interpretation:
"with both your creative impulses, the good and the bad".
[Deuteronomy 6,4-5 + Mishna
Berakhot 9,5]
But now the day of Oneness, Unitedness is over.
We are not to stay there,
we are to re-enter into creation and manifestation.
And we celebrate "Havdala", "Differentiation".
This time we light one, united candle,
a helix of either 2 or 6 separate strands.
And we extinguish it with wine,
while blessing the differentiations.
Now we are ready for a new week of creating.
"Shavua' tov", "a good week", we wish
each other.
And we don't sing "Aummm", we sing "Amennnn".
From puzzle piece 53
Joy, Maryam, 2002_03_10-11
.....
The family adopted my tradition of uniting
the flames,
and when it was my turn to do so and say out loud,
what in myself I want to unite,
I dared to share the culmination of
my week's healing work:
"I want to unite the pain about
the lack of recognition for my thesis
with my new understanding that I, in fact, chose & need
this denial."
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An Overview of the experiences on this Shabbat
- details see on Nov. 25
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Mika in the morning
- stretched out on the bench
in the corner of the garden |
With her father
and her stepsister:
Elah ,
who came to visit
for a few hours
(I do hope, it wasn't the quest for money which made her initiate
this. She wants to again rent a flat with co-students, after
she had returned to her mother's from her former rented flat,
in which her father had invested much time and skill,
- Immanuel's children and "money" is a subject, which
I'm gradually learning not to let it touch me anymore....) |
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Elah is working on folding and ordering Efrat's
uncountable shirts and blouses and trousers,
something Efrat gets nauseated by, while Elah loves it,
And in the end Elah will go home with a fat bag of inherited clothes....
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Elah
has gone
and we drive to Ben-Shemen to meet Tomer.
We want to go to an oriental restaurant.
"Jaffo or Abu-Gosh?"
Luckily Tomer chooses, what I wanted too:
Abu Gosh,
and there a restaurant,
which we sometimes visited,
after an intense day in the library
of the Hebrew University in Jerusalem.
We? Rafael, Tomer's grandfather, and I.
When? In the years 1968-1972. |
This is the nicest corner
between two dining halls,
but it's too cold outside.
"If I had known beforehand,
that Abu-Gosh,
i.e. the height of Jerusalem,
would be an option,
I had taken socks with me!"
Luckily Efrat had a blanket in the
car,
and Tomer and I alternated in wrapping it around us.
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A few hours later - rain! - and back home:
a beautiful rain-touched - sunlit veranda
And last but not least - some evening hours
of playing with Mika in my room:
Abba has prepared a plate with fruits for us!
Continuation
of our Foursome on Friday afternoon and the Eve of Shabbat |
As to more
images of our togetherness - the threesome walk and Shabbat
Eve
- see tomorrow |
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Actions:
Kisslog: healing-creating
TV & Internet: learning
With the family at home,
including Elah
with Tomer at Abu Gosh.
Playing w. Mika. Traveling
|
Interactions:
with Immanuel and Efrat and Mika and Elah, then (without
Elah) fetched
Tomer from Ben-Shemen, had dinner at Abu-Gosh, drove T. back,
drove home through the rain. |
|
Intro
to
k.i.s.s.-l o g + all
dates
~ Library of
7 years ~ HOME
~ contact ~
SEARCH
( of Latin characters only!) my
eldest granddaughter's video-gallery
whole&full-filled,
never perfect&complete 
Keep It
Simple Sweetheart
K.I.S.S.
- L O G 2
0 0 8
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