The Purpose  of   HEALING - K.I.S.S. - as stated 12 years ago - was and is   to help me and my potential P E E R s  "to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness, and - by extension - all of CREATion!"

Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013 and Overview of its main libraries [If you look for a word on this page, click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]

I focus my experiencing and awareness on being "a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel": I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb' pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness, so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve, and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!! "I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"

"Earth Keepers and Ocean Keepers :
Creating the Paradise Earth" :
Archangel Michael through Celia Fenn
www.spiritpathways.co.za

 

..., it is time to begin the process of creating the Paradise Earth.
... as you enter into the Higher Vibrations of the 9th Dimension,
you may be called to become an Earth Keeper or an Ocean Keeper.
...
the incoming energy of the Divine Feminine activates your Pineal gland

...many of you will continue to pursue your soul development
as healers, spiritual teachers and therapists.
... This is important work, and will bring you much joy
as you increasingly become more creative and relaxed in your work.
But some of you will feel within yourselves a calling
to serve the Planet in new ways.
These will be the Earth Keepers and the Ocean Keepers..
learn to be the caretakers of the Planet.

.. the Dolphins and Whales are leaving your Oceans.
And you are sad...
But they are handing over to you the responsibility for tending the Oceans
and ensuring that the Oceanic grids are kept in a healthy condition in the New Earth.
They have made a space for you to assume your responsibilities.


Does that mean that they will never return?
No, indeed, it is up to you to invite them to return to the Oceans
as your guests and fellow workers.
But, it is also up to you to ensure
that you can offer them a pristine environment
and a friendly and supportive welcome.
.. In the past you have been disempowered by the belief
that you cannot "do" anything to halt the degradation of the Planet,
but we say, indeed you can.
As you join forces with the Nature Spirits and Elementals,
you will find that you do indeed have the power
to recreate a pristine Paradise environment on this Planet.

...So, dearest ones, it is time to celebrate this new development.
You are ready to become the stewards and guardians of your Earth.
And while each and every human on the planet
contributes to this task,
there will be those of you
who will be called by the spirits of Earth and Ocean
to be of special service.
These ones will learn to listen to the Earth and the Ocean,
to speak with them,
and to convey their messages to humanity.
This will be the first step in creating harmony
between the Planet and her peoples once again.

This will eliminate "natural disasters",
for people will know
when the Earth needs to move or release pressure,
for the Earth keepers will be there to receive messages,
as in the past
when humans had better relations with the Earth itself.

Those who are called to be Earth Keepers
will be drawn to the Earth and Nature.
They will communicate with the Elementals and the Devas.
...they will work with the animals and the plants and the mineral kingdoms
to maintain peace and balance.
They will take responsibility for their particular environment,
...

Those who are called to be Ocean Keepers
will work with the more Feminine energies of the Oceans.
...
They will work with the Ocean Spirits, the Mer people, the sea nymphs,
and the creatures of the Oceans, especially the Cetaceans,
to ensure harmony and balance between Earth and the Oceans
in the Paradise Earth.


It will be a "partnership"
that will include humans as co-responsible
for the well-being of the Planet
on the spiritual as well as the material levels.

Is this not a wonderful way to serve the Earth?
Many of the young Indigo beings
who are now entering adult life
will be called to serve in this way.
They will release their frustrations and angers,
and will become the "Rainbow Warriors" that they were meant to be.
It will bring them much joy
to learn the wisdom of the wilderness
from the wise elders of the human race.

...

LIVING IN THE NEW EARTH

YOU AND YOUR CRYSTALLINE BODY
by Celia Fenn

...The energy "outside" seems to be moving too fast,
and they become stressed and "unable to keep up".
Ironically, the answer is not to move faster,
but to slow down physically
so that the inner vibrations can rise
to match those on the outside.
The higher the inner vibrations,
the calmer the person becomes,...
and the more able
to open to higher states of awareness.

The Spiritual/Endocrine System

The Pineal Gland: The Higher Vibrational Portal to the Body

... The portal between the physical and material body
and the realms of energy and light
is the body's Endocrine or Hormonal system.
It is through this portal
that light transmissions from the light bodies
are mediated into physical chemical messages
that enter the bloodstream as hormones.
These hormones regulate
the energy distribution and functioning of the physical body.
If the Endocrine system is overstimulated,
it produces the energy surges and imbalances that many people feel
as they adjust to their new body and its energy flows.

...
It is the work of this time
to live with this higher level of consciousness
and still be grounded enough to function clearly in the physical world.
....

The Pituitary: The Key to Balance

The Pituitary gland is the "master endocrine gland",
whose basic function is to regulate the activities of the body
through controlling the hormonal balance.
...

We must emphasize,
that the human body is a marvellous self-regulating organism
that always seeks balance.
In this process of bio-energetic evolution
it strives to assist you to find that balance as quickly as possible
so that you can enjoy the power and energy of the new crystalline body.
The rewards will be increased longevity,
perfect health
and boundless energy.

 

But the problem right now for many of you is often
that the way that you live
is not allowing the body to make the adjustments that it needs.
So as your Pituitary gland feels the increasing stimulation,
you will need to slow down.
If you do not, the body will do it for you.
That is why so many people experience illness
as their body forces them to slow down
and to allow the recalibration or adjustments
of the bio-energetic hormonal or Endocrine system.

 

It is far better, to heed your body's instructions to slow down.
If you feel stressed or tired, then rest.
As you rest, your Higher Self will work
to create the balance in your Spiritual/Endocrine system
to allow you to handle
the increased levels of vibration of the incoming energies.

Calming the System:
The Role of the Thymus Gland
and "Breathing through the Heart".

 

The best way to work with calming and balancing the body
is to work with the breath
and the energy of the Thymus gland,
or the "high heart".
...

You may have noticed
how when you are anxious
you may breathe in a very shallow way,
even holding your breathe.
...

So, the way to calm the bio-energetic system
and to return balance to the body
is a technique that we call
"Breathing through the Heart".
When you breathe deeply and focus on the Heart Chakra,
you flood the system with the light energy of Unconditional Love.
This, in turn, counter-balances
the excess electrical stimulation at the Pineal
by providing a feeling of calmness and peace.

The more you learn to breathe deeply,
to become a "conscious breather",
the more you will activate the function of the Thymus,
which not only enhances feelings of Unconditional Love,
it also plays a fundamental role in the health of the body
by supporting the physical immune system.

A Strong Body
supports a Strong Spiritual Endocrine System

..., unless you build your physical strength,
you will be unable to support the demands
of the new energy load on your body.
For the New Earth crystalline body is a strong and healthy body.

It is designed to move and to be active.
It likes fresh air and outdoor activity.
The more time you spend outdoors,
breathing deeply as you walk
or engage in other physical activity,
the more your body will be assisted
to regulate and balance
the new crystalline bio-energetic system
as you make the evolutionary shift.

Once the balance is established,
you will feel calm, peaceful and powerful.
You will be able to use your twelve chakra system
to create the miracles that you desire in your life.

So, you can understand
why it is so important to assist your body in this transition
as it "re-wires" and "activates" your Spiritual Endocrine system.
It will achieve balance all the more quickly
if you co-operate and allow the process
by slowing down
and consciously working
to create balance in your life.
To feel balanced and harmonious
on both the inner and outer levels
should be the aim
as you move into full use
of your wonderful and powerful
New Earth Crystalline Body.

October 6, 2009
THE DANCE OF LOVE AND PEACE
Archangel Michael through Celia Fenn

....
At the time of the New Moon, on the 18th,
it will be a good time to meditate on your relationship with your community
... how you can be an expression of Love just by Being Who You Are
and by fully expressing Who You Are.
....
....each one of you is an expression of the Divine Love and Grace of God.
It is only for you to exercise your free will
and to choose how you, as an individual,
will be an expression of the Divine Grace within the One Energy of Community.

In this month too,
the old energies of the Atlantean Negative Codes continues to be released on very deep levels,
to allow for it to be replaced with the Light of the New Earth Codes
that are guiding the Evolution of Humanity on its Journey into Higher Expressions of Light.
The old trauma of the Atlantean "disaster" continues to reverberate through the psyches of those
who seek to hold onto the old ways of power and control and manipulation.
Beloved Ones, know that those who seek these darker paths do so
because they feel a deep inner fear
and a sense of guilt and unworthiness.
They fear that they have "failed"
and that God has abandonned them,
so they need to try to control their own destiny
instead of allowing their destiny to be a part of the greater plan of Love and Compassion.
And, when you enter into dramas of duality with such ones,
you merely reinforce their sense of unworthiness and lack.
Far better it is, dear ones, to forgive such ones
and to release them from their roles as bearers of the illusion of darkness.
For when you forgive, then you release.
You do not condone actions that are based in low vibrations of fear,
but you release the effects that such energies may have on you.


Now, as for the Negative Atlantean Codes and the energies of "victim"
that are surging through the Collective to be released,
we will say that FORGIVENESS is the first step.
Forgive, Release, and let go.
The Victim Dramas are not part of the New Earth, nor ever will be.
As you forgive those who still seek to perpetuate those dramas,
you also release yourself from being drawn into
the weavings of this very old trauma based energy.
And, you move upwards into the clear Spiral of Light
that expresses the Divine Energies of
COMPASSION and BEAUTY and KINDNESS and CREATIVITY and PEACE.

For, Beloved Ones, in this month of October, you will be challenged to make that choice
to be a vessel for the flow of the energies of PEACE and COMPASSION.

"Abraham" (2002) e-mail quote on May 14, 2011

Everything exists for joy.
There is not one other reason for life than joy.
We've got nothing to prove to anyone,
because nobody other than All-That-Is is watching
…We're not trying to get someplace else;
we're not trying to get it done,
because there is no ending—we cannot get it done.
Everything exists for the purpose of joy in the moment.

Whispers from Veronica
May 16, 2011
Why Talk To An Entity?

"One would wonder who we are. An energy without linear form with a desire to communicate through words. We understand how those firmly planted in this reality would have reservations to our intent.

"Once or twice" we have embodied our energy for our own personal evolution. We speak this with a smile as we count the multiple dramas that have led us to this communication. We offer a view point that exceeds the parameters of your current environment. Where you see the trees in the midst of the forest we see the leaves and why they have grown as they have.

We are not linear though we have experienced it many times. We are merely further along the path. Our intent is to expand all of us further.

A sense of familiarity encompasses all as we continue in conversation. Embrace the flow of connections as we continue to blend with your essence.

The universe and all of its parallels are but a brief moment. This moment may change all of your experiences and answer your deepest questions. It's all right to know us for it will lead you to knowing yourself.

Welcome friend......."
Editor's Note: When VERONICA said "Once or twice" above, she was joking if that is not apparent. VERONICA has incarnated physically many times and enjoyed the process.

"Abraham" (2005) e-mail quote on May 17, 2011

Just do your best to keep yourself in balance.
One of the first things that causes Energy misalignment,
is asking or demanding too much of yourself in terms of time and effort.
In other words, you just cannot burn the candle at both ends,
so that you are physically tired,
and then expect yourself to have a cheerful attitude.
So, the rule of thumb has to be:
"I'm going to be very, very, very happy,
and then do everything I have time to do after that."

Today more from "GoodNews" :
a link to a site called "Simchah":
I had just written about "Joy" in Judaism
in the context of completing the compositions
of some 140 professional, artistic photos,
taken on Itamar's Bar-Mitzvah in Febr. 2011

"And thou shalt rejoice
before the LORD thy God,
thou,
and thy son, and thy daughter,
and thy man-servant,
and thy maid-servant,
and the Levite ..., and the stranger,
and the fatherless, and the widow,
that are in the midst of thee,
...
And thou shalt rejoice
in thy feast,
thou,
and thy son, and thy daughter,
and thy man-servant,
and thy maid-servant,
and the Levite, and the stranger,
and the fatherless, and the widow,
that are within thy gates.
[Deuteronomy 16,11; 14]

In Judaism "Joy" simchah and "to rejoice" lismoach
is a commandment, a Mitzvah!
There are at least 10 synonyms for "Simchah"
as the Hebrew Wikipedia says.
It's significant, that - as I often mention -
in the English Wikipedia "Joy" is rendered as "happiness",
but joy is not the same as happiness!

"Good News" quotes of an invitation
to a happening on the street on May 20, 2011, of
These people call themselves
"S-i-m-ch-a-h", "Joy",
the capital letters of their purpose.
They want "to be joyous and bring joy"!
in Hebrew these are just two verbs
of the same root: li-smo'ach ~~~ le-same'ach.
JOY BASED on LOVE BETWEEN PEOPLE

"Abraham" (1997) e-mail quote on April 16, 2011

What we feel from most physical beings
who are using the word "want" is
a yearning, a desire that is currently unfulfilled.
When we use the word "want" we mean it
as an object of attention to which I want to focus,
a desire
that I give my undivided, undiluted, not contradicted attention to,
so that the Energy that creates worlds
can flow through me toward that desire.

But what,
if my "object" is
to understand
the phenomenon
of "boredom",
of lack of zest,
lack of meaning,
of "not-doing",
not feeling "full-filled"?
To understand it for myself and for humanity on this planet, even for God and Creation???

"Abraham" (1998) e-mail quote on May 13, 2011

Because others cannot vibrate in your experience,
they cannot affect the outcome of your experience.
They can hold their opinions,
but unless their opinion affects your opinion,
their opinion matters not at all.
A million people could be pushing against you
and it would not negatively affect you unless you push back.
That million people pushing against you
are affecting their millions of vibrations.
They are affecting what happens in their experience.
They are affecting their point of attraction,
but it does not affect you unless you push against them.

Rainer Maria Rilke:
Ich fürchte mich so vor der Menschen Wort

Ich fürchte mich so vor der Menschen Wort.
Sie sprechen alles so deutlich aus:
Und dieses heißt Hund und jenes heißt Haus,
und hier ist Beginn, und das Ende ist dort.

Mich bangt auch ihr Sinn, ihr Spiel mit dem Spott,
sie wissen alles, was wird und war;
kein Berg ist ihnen mehr wunderbar;
ihr Garten und Gut grenzt grade an Gott.

Ich will immer warnen und wehren: Bleibt fern.
Die Dinge singen hör ich so gern.
Ihr rührt sie an: sie sind starr und stumm.
Ihr bringt mir alle die Dinge um.

Isaiah 30

8 Komm jetzt,
schreib das auf eine Tafel, die mit ihnen bleibt,
auf einem Brief zeichne es ein,
dass es werde fuer einen spaeten Tag,
auf die Zeiten hin zum Zeugen!

15 In Umkehr und Ruhe
werdet ihr befreit,
in Stille, in Gelassenheit
geschieht euer Heldentum.
Ihr aber seids nicht gewillt,


18 Und doch harrt ER ebendarum,
euer sich zu erbarmen:
denn ein Gott des Rechtes ist ER,
o Glueck aller, die seiner harren!

23 Dann gibt er Regen deiner Saat,
womit du die Scholle besaest,
und Brot als Einkunft deiner Scholle,-
saftig ist das und markig.
Dein Vieh weidet an jenem Tag
auf geweiteter Aue:

25 Dann wird geschehn:
auf alljedem hohen Berg,
auf alljedem erhabnen Huegel
sind wassersprudelnde Borne, -
an jenem Tage grossen Wuergens,
wa n n   d i e   T u e r m e    f a l l e n .

26 Dann wird geschehn:
das Licht des Bleichmonds
ist wie das Licht der Glutsonne,
und das Licht der Glutsonne
wird siebenfaeltig sein
wie das Licht der SiebenTage, -
an dem Tage, da ER
den Bruch seines Volkes verbindet,
die ihm geschlagne Wunde heilt.

29 Werden soll da euch Gesang
[this order of the line and the omission of the article "ha"-Shir
spoils the original a bit:]
Das Lied
wird euch sein wie ...]
wie des Nachts, da der Festreihn sich heiligt,
und Freude des Herzens
wie es, der bei Floetenklang geht,-
um zu kommen auf SEINEN Berg,
hin zum Felsen Yisraels.

Isaiah 30

8 Now go,
write it before them on a tablet,
and inscribe it in a book,
that it may be for the time to come
for ever and ever.

15 in sitting still and rest
shall ye be saved,
in quietness and in confidence
shall be your strength;
and ye would not.

See and listen to my song (1986)
"Another Kind of Heroism"
and see an exact translation there

18 And therefore will YHWH wait,
to be gracious unto you,
and therefore will He be exalted,
to have compassion upon you;
for YHWH is a God of justice,
how happy are they that wait
for Him

"for him" is in Hebrew 'lo' = lamed vav =36!
From there - the notion of 36 Lamed Vav-niks
"In the World there are never less than
36 tzaddikim who welcome the Shekhina
in each generation" (Talmud Sanhedrin 97 b]
[read in the Hebrew AND in the English Wikipedia!]

"tzaddiq", usually understood as "righteous" was translated by Buber and Rosenzweig
as "bewaehrt", i.e. as someone
who lives his truth and walks his talk .
"shekhina" is understood as "God's Presence".
I understand it as God's female aspect ,
God's Will, the magnetic essence , God's mate.
[see Godchannel.com > God's Quest]

23 And He will give the rain for thy seed, wherewith thou sowest the ground,
and bread of the increase of the ground, and it shall be fat and plenteous;
in that day shall thy cattle feed
in large pastures.

25 And there shall be
upon every lofty mountain,
and upon every high hill
streams and watercourses,
in the day of the great slaughter,
when the towers fall.

26 Moreover the light of the moon
shall be as the light of the sun,
and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold,
as the light of the seven days,
in the day that YHWH bindeth up
the bruise of His people,
and healeth the stroke of their wound.

29 THE SONG
will be for you
as the night when a feast is hallowed;
and gladness of heart,
as when one goeth with the pipe
to come into the mountain of YHWH,
to the Rock of Israel.

See and listen to my song (2009)

"The Day is near"

[see and listen to the traditional song, which I learnt during the Seder of Pesach
in the family of my Professor for Bible, Shmaryahu and Yonina Talmon, 1961]


There are two prophecies,
one by the original Isaiah (8th century)
and one by the so-called Deutero-Isaiah (6th century),
from which I picked out lines and put them into tune.
[in "Index of Themes of all Songs of Bat-Adam",
I also listed many other biblical prophecies about
"Heaven-on-Earth", Redemption", "Water in the Desert" etc. ]




Isaiah 55:10-13




Isaiah 55:10-13
For as the rain cometh down and the snow from heaven,
and returneth not thither, except it water the earth,
and make it bring forth and bud,
and give seed to the sower and bread to the eater;
So shall My word be that goeth forth out of My mouth:
it shall not return unto Me void,
except it accomplish that which I please,
and make the thing whereto I sent it prosper.

For ye shall go out with joy,
and be led forth with peace;
the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you
into singing,
and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
See and listen to my song (1992) and the same with other prophecies

Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress,
and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;
and it shall be to YHWH for a memorial,
for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.

Isaiah 55:10-13 in the translation of Buber and Rosenzweig
[they worked on this passage shortly before Rosenzweig's death!]

Denn:
- Gleichwie der Regen und der Schnee
vom Himmel niedersinkt
und kehrt dorthin nicht zurueck,
er habe denn erst die Erde durchfeuchtet,
sie gebaeren, sie sprossen lassen,
dem Saeenden Samen gegeben,
dem Essenden Brot,
so geschiehts mit meiner Rede,
die aus meinem Munde faehrt,
fruchtleer nicht kehrt sie wieder zu mir:
sie habe denn getan, was mein Wille war,
geraten lassen, sozu ich sie sandte. -

Ja denn,
in Freuden fahrt ihr aus,
in Frieden werdet ihr hergebracht,
die Berge und die Huegel
brechen vor euch in Jubel aus,
alle Baeume des Feldes
klatschen in die Haende.
Anstatt des Kameldorns
steigt der Wacholder,
anstatt der Nessel
steigt die Myrte,
das wird IHM
zu einem Namensmal,
zu einem Zeichen fuer Weltzeit,
das nie ausgerodet wird.

Extraterrestrial Beings

......Thank you, Spirit.
Parts of your letter to those doing the healing work
reminds us of some other channelings from various sources
about the coming Earth changes,
and some of those are in alignment with what you have said in that letter.
Many of these sources are beings from other dimensions
who say they are here so they can help humanity
make the transition to new and better realities.
What can you say about these channelings?

"Most of these kinds of channeled works
accurately convey the thoughts and attitudes of their sources.
And nearly all of their information is accurate,
as far as it goes.
However, I would caution you to be very careful
about who you choose to align with.
Nearly every such 'extradimensional' or 'extraterrestrial' source
has an agenda they are not revealing in their channelings.

"For most of the eternity of this Creation,
loving Light has not been present in the Godhead.
As I have said, my deepest denial, Ahriman
has been God in my place,
except of course when his rival Lucifer has beat him to it.

"Under Ahriman's rule,
a 'plan' for the 'salvation' of Creation
was developed and implemented.
On the surface this plan looks very good,
but at it's core the planned 'salvation'
has meant salvation
from pain and terror,
and therefore from the Mother,
the true Will of Creation.

 

"Spirit in disdain of the Mother,
without the presence of Heart,
is essentially unloving light, Ahriman.
Spirit in opposition to the Mother
is also unloving light, Lucifer.

"In this case Ahriman's passive denials of the Mother
have been more devastating than Lucifer's active denials.
Ahriman's plan has been
to replace the Mother with various forms of 'technology.'

"Technology in any form means
Spirit control of matter,
and therefore of Will.

"At one time on Earth
it was possible
to simply will objects and even beings into manifestation.
It was possible to have abundance in life
and to accomplish great feats without any 'tools' at all,
beyond the basic understandings needed to perform real magic.
Life was easy and abundant
because Will was free enough to draw into manifestation
whatever was desired.


"However, as Body has said,
that magic was not in balance.
.....

"Nearly all of the extra-dimensional beings
that are presently working with humans on the inside
to prepare them for the 'coming changes'
are doing so under Ahriman's plan for a Will-less creation.
If spirits can have what they wish and do what they like,
why bother with the Mother
and all of her 'bad' feelings and other 'baggage?'
Why be dragged down by her pain and suffering?
Why not just lift out of her Hell,
and simply leave behind whatever doesn't feel good?
No one wants pain and terror, right?

"You and I know the answers to these questions,
but the vast majority of humanity does not, yet.

"And the majority of   'l i g h t w o r k e r s '   and others
who are sincerely interested in creating a better world
are being subtly deceived on the inside by direct contact with these beings,
and on the outside by their channelings.
But this is not wrong, either.
All of this will fit together in the end.
There is another plan, much larger than Ahriman's,
and it includes all of Ahriman's plan as well.
It is Grandfather's plan for helping the Mother realize her dream."

[read on in the original edited file , till you reach the last passage:]

"The healing work is about staying here on Earth

and confronting the problems Spirit has caused

in our abuse of the Mother, the true Will of Creation.

"This is the Mother's true and only home.
And this is where my loving Light
is now moving to be with her.
This is where we will be making
New Heart
together.
And this is where we will live together
without the need of death,

embodied by those
who choose to have us with them.

"This is where we all will finally realize
the Mother's Dream.

" I sincerely hope you will stay and help,
and I promise it will be well worth your while."

2009_01_01
"....Denn du bist doch jetzt endlich angekommen, an deinem Weg zu Dir selber, Du hast jetzt endlich Dein lekh-kekhâ vollbracht aus allem Zwang, einschliesslich dem Zwang , Dich zestful und fulfilled ("erregt und erfuellt"?) zu fuehlen. Du siehst doch, dass du nichts "tun" musst, um dich "dankbar" zu fuehlen. Du fuehlst es einfach, bei Tag und bei Nacht, bei so vielen Gelegenheiten.

Ich denke an Mika, aber damit sie sich zestful und fulfilled fuehlt , muss sie doch auch in jedem Augenblick etwas "tun".

"Aber sie braucht kein Ziel, keinen Zweck, sie spielt. Heisst spielen nicht, wie Tiere, wie Kinder, das zu tun, was sich eben jetzt anbietet? Und fuer Dich heisst das ja nicht nur tun, es heisst vor allem fuehlen . Ist es nicht ein challenge in jedem Atem-Zug und Augen-Blick eben dem Atem nachzu-spueren, eben die Augen und Augen-lider zu bewegen? Koennte es nicht sein, dass Deines Herzens Auf-Mer-ken auf Atem, Blicken, Lauschen Dich in Dimensionen, Zeiten, Welten fuehrt in denen Du schaffen kannst, nicht angestrengt sondern spielend, wie Du es Dir , infolge deiner Selbstbegren-zung, nie hast ertraeumen koennen?

"Und ist es nicht wunderbar, dass Du nicht nur nichts tun musst, um die Welt zu retten, sondern auch nichts tun musst, um Dich dankbar, zestful and full-filled zu fuehlen, sondern durch Dein blosses DAAAAA-sein , MIT-sein , SO-Sein zum Lazerstrahl fuer die Welt wirst? "

"Was er gerade tat" [a chassidic story: "what was the most important thing for your Rabbi?" "What he did in every moment!']– wenn ich wirklich jeden "Handgriff" und "Fusstritt" – was fuer gute Worte nochmals: wenn ich mein Bewusstsein, mein Fuehlen und mein Spueren mit jeden Augen-blick, mit jedem Hand-griff, mit jedem Fuss-tritt vereine, dann ist Dankbarkeit das "Ein-und-Alles", was mir "in den Sinn kommt". Ist es moeglich, dass grate-full-ness sich ganz organisch wandelt in zest-full-ness und full-fill-ment? Wenn ich mein Bewusst-sein, mein Fuehlen und mein Spueren mit jeden Augen-blick, mit jedem Hand-griff, mit jedem Fuss-tritt vereine, dann ist Dankbarkeit das "Ein-und-Alles", was mir "in den Sinn kommt". Ist es moeglich, dass grate-full-ness sich ganz organisch wandelt in zest-full-ness und full-fill-ment?......

2009_01_02
.....Wieder wuensche ich, ich waere doch nach Arad gefahren, da haette ich Ruhe .

"Du bist hier geblieben eben zu diesem Zweck, dass Du die Wellen und Wogen aushaeltst. Es ist zu Ende mit deiner friedlichen Periode , und obwohl diese nano-Ereignisse nichts sind im Vergleich zu dem, was auf Dich zukommt, so musst Du doch jetzt trainieren. Es geht gar nicht um den Inhalt dieser oder jener Auf-regung, nicht mal das veraechtliche Verhalten von Nella [the dog] und Mika Dir gegenueber hat etwas zu bedeuten, und Du musst keine Energie auf die tiefere Bedeutung verschwenden, Es war richtig, dass Du Dich geuebt hast im Mitteilen Deiner Grenzen. Aber denke dran, dass Du nicht mehr an Dei-ner Selbstverbesserung zu arbeiten hast. Alles kommt zu Dir nur, um Dich in Deiner  SKILL  to  FEEL  zu ueben."

........
2009_01_05
...Freue dich, dass du absolut frei bist von Triggern, selbst die Sorgen, die du dir um diesen oder jenen Spieler in deinem Drama machst, regen dich nicht wirklich "auf", da du vertraust, dass alle ihre Lektionen zu "ihrer" Zeit lernen. Du weisst sogar, dass keiner deiner 26 Akteure von dem, was auf euch zukommt, physisch geschaedigt werden wird. Freu dich, dass du betreffs deiner websites ganz loslassen konntest. Auch wenn sie aus der Cyberwelt verschwinden wuerden, so wie deine 20 Succah-Archiv folder verbrannt sind wie noch so vieles andere deiner reichen Geschichte, waerest du davon nicht verstoert oder zerstoert. Du weisst, dass nichts verloren geht, und du hast alles getan, damit keines deiner Erlebnisse, selbst kein nourishment von andern, vorbeigingen, ohne einen Ein-Druck in deiner Seele, ja in unsrer Seele, zu hinterlassen. Freue dich, dass du so ganz bist und so reif, diese ganze Zeit-Periode nun loszulassen. Wie gut, dass du gestern, als du wieder eine Schandtat von Rafael erzaehlen wolltest, dieselbe geschluckt und sofort und nur in Dir selber "bewegt" hast. Freu dich, dass alles, was noch an Er-innerungen "hoch"-kommt, unmittelbar geheilt und als Kompost fuer deine Erde verwandt wird. Freu dich, dass dein grosses Problem: Schoepfungen zu vollenden, und das andere grosse Problem: Cain's need la-tet [see the song: "Bat-Adam"], von dir abgefallen sind. Selbst deine einzige noch unerfuellte Sehnsucht, einen Mann taeglich, stuendlich, umarmen zu koennen ...– lebst du so, dass sie dich er-fuellt und keineswegs an dir "nagt"! Du bist also ganz und du bist frei.
......

[See in my book "All Israel Are Guarantors for Each Other",online]


2009_01_08
Nun zur Hauptsache, hoert mich bitte:
Ich hatte wieder – wohl zum 3. Mal – einen Traum, der sagte: "Du musst ja nicht!" etwas ausfuehren, was du beschlossen hast, in diesem Fall: eine kleine Vorstellung vor Kindern. Lior Oren, die mich haette unterstuetzen sollen , sagte: "Ich packe inzwischen die Sachen". Ich bemerkte, wie ich mich fuerchtete, mich laecherlich zu machen vor den Kindern, ich beschloss, die Sache abzublasen, trotz der Scham, die damit verbunden war, und ich erwachte, dankbar, auch dankbar gegenueber Lior, deren Verhalten mir geholfen hatte etwas nicht zu tun, wovor ich von Anfang an Angst hatte, - ich war mir wohl wie ueblich der Angst auch bewusst, aber immer renne ich nach vorne statt manchmal – nach hinten. Der Spruch aus Wallenstein stand ganz klar vor mir – wie ich ihn gestern in K.i.s.s.-Log Januar 7, 2008 gelesen hatte:
    Fuehr ich die Tat zuende nur weil ich sie gedacht?
    "Wär’s möglich?
    Könnt ich nicht mehr, wie ich wollte?
    Nicht mehr zurück, wie mir’s beliebt?
    Ich müsste die Tat vollbringen, weil ich sie gedacht?"

"Aber du hast doch auch gelernt, dass wenn du etwas nicht schaffen kannst, es nicht die Zeit dafuer ist, weil erst noch etwas andres gelernt werden muss, entweder von dir oder von andern. .....

Du musst deine Ohnmacht gegenueber Deiner Abhaengigkeit von den andern puzzle pieces, einschliesslich Nellas, fuehlen und vibrieren und genau wie mit deiner Sehnsucht nach einem Mann, nach DEM Mann, mit dem dich die Liebe zwischen peers verbindet, - genau wie du durch deine blosse Sehnsucht, eben nicht Aufgeben, sondern dich weiter sehnen, immer staerker sehnen, eben dies eines Tages manifestieren wirst, so wird auch Deine Ohnmacht gegenueber all denen, die noch nicht begriffen haben, dass sich die Erde um die Sonne dreht und nicht umgekehrt, also dass einen Feind zu bekaempfen den Feind staerker macht, waehrend es darum geht, die schadende Abhaengigkeit in eine segenbringende zu verwandeln. – dass all dies , was Du erschaust fuer Himmel auf Erden, ja eben dank deiner Sehnsucht schon im Begriff ist sich zu manifestieren.

......Das ist eben deine Aufgabe jetzt-...zu erfahren, was Menschen und Gott Erregung und Erfuellung fuehlen laesst. Auch ich rede immer nur von den Gefuehlen der Mutter, also meinen eigenen, die ich nicht haben wollte , ich rede nicht genug von dem, was die generellen Begriffe: excitement usw. eigentlich ausmachen.

Vielleicht lese ich nochmals all deine Botschaften mit diesem einen Ziel - zu entdecken, ob du etwas darueber sagtst, was uns erregt und erfuellt, was die Gefuehle sind, die wir wirklich haben wollen, ausser Liebe natuerlich.
See more in the original diary on Jan. 7, 2009