Mika and Tomer
[sculpted on August 4]

As I said, Shabbat was a day too full of feelings, also and more so, for Mika.
This was probably the reason for her behavior towards me.
Efrat had voiced, that my best help would be in being with Mika,
but I feared, that this would not work...

Though we had played nicely together, before and during the pond adventure,
she, of course, much preferred her sister Elah,
and when Elah once left the veranda and Mika stayed with me alone,
she screamed: "I want Elah! I want Elah!"

Then there was a moment, when Efrat brought Mika into my room,
and I did everything creative to keep her there.
I also brought her the two Qi-Qong balls, which she once had liked so much,
and which I now re-discovered when my room at Shoham was emptied.
But she grabbed the heavy metal balls with disgust
and was just about to throw them into some corner,
when I preceded her, put the balls in my backpack and said,
that I would take them with me to Arad.
I also reproached her:
"How would you feel, if you bring a gift to somebody,
and that person throws the gift away with disgust?"
She started to whine and prepared to get up "to go to Imma".
I couldn't prevent that Imma heard the screams and came in.
So I told her the story in Mika's presence and responded accordingly.
Efrat had ever so often asked me to be a boundary to Mika
and not let her treat me badly....

In the late afternoon Efrat asked me to take Mika out on her bike.
"I want Tomer", said Mika, but Tomer didn't want to come.
So I pushed her along our street.
When the street ended in untended fields and orchards
and I wanted us to rest under an olive tree before going back,
she screamed again: "I don't want to be here. Go home!"
I said: "I'll wait until you can ask for that in a pleasant way."
She started to cry (see the image of the altar yesterday...) - but not for long.
Then she stayed quiet, without a word or a cry.
It took about 5 minutes until she could overcome her pride
and ask me nicely: "Let's go home, savta!"
So I began to turn her bike into the opposite direction,
but even before having completed the turning, she screamed again:
"Not there, not there!"
So I again sat down and waited until she would relate to me respectfully.
The crying was short as before, but the silence lasted at least 10 minutes.
I sat to her left, a little behind her , and watched her face all the time.
Sometimes suddenly a "Mika-smile" scurried over her face,
but she did not turn her head to me nor open her mouth.

Then she had the smartest of ideas:
without looking at me, she gently took my hand,
moving it cautiously into the direction she wanted us to go.
I tried to signify silently, that she also should open her mouth.
She looked at me then - but not being able to do this - held on to my hand.
It was so touching, that I got up and began to drive her back.

Since I knew, that Efrat needed to be alone to get some work done,
I tried to slow down our return as much as possible.
When we were close to the junction of the new house, I asked Mika:
"Where is our house?"
She pointed to a spot on the other side and insisted even when I said: "No".
So I saw this as an opportunity to prolong our walk.
"We'll go there and you'll see, that it's not our house!"
But when we arrived at that spot, her pride didn't allow her to admit her error.
Every time I asked, where is our house, she pointed further forward.
So we walked and walked until the water-tower of Bet Nehemya,
where the road turned left.
She still did not agree with me, that she had been wrong.

There was a big compound with horses,
and despite the about 10 barking dogs, one of them roaming around freely,
I brought her to the fence of one stable.
She enjoyed watching the 4 elegant horses,
but people came and warned me of the electric fence and the dogs.
So we left, a bit frustrated,
and now actually turned back on the road on which we had come.
"No, no!" she screamed,
" we are not going to our house, we are going back!"
But she understood, when I explained
that our house was not before us but in our back
and that we had missed it long ago.
It was not until we reached the edge of the parking-lot with her parents' car,
that she identified the house.
"It's alright to be wrong, Mika,
and you have come to this house for the first time only yesterday.
We all make mistakes, but we have to learn to admit them".
She may not have understood the words "to be wrong, to err, to make mistakes"
but she'll not forget the experience, I'm sure.

Later - around the heavy wooden table - Imma asked Mika:
"Did you enjoy your walk with grandma?"
Mika looked at me , I looked at her, and we both knew,
that now the truth had to be told.
"Shall I tell Imma, what happened?"
She agreed and after I had finished, Imma asked expressively:
"So you haven't behaved very nicely towards grandma?"
"No", said the little girl honestly, and with this honesty all was well.

And yet - the next morning when Efrat said:
"I know, who will be very happy to go home today",
I heard myself answering without thinking : "Mika".
Oh, how did they come down on me, both Efrat and my son.
"You, yourself, will be happy to leave us after all the work you did!
what's the matter with you concerning Mika!
Don't you know her! She is a little child etc. etc!"

I had to go inside for something, and when I returned, I was told:
"Tomer says that you are stigmatizing (mefaslelet) Mika!"
I was stunned and laughed at him:
"that's right! you've learnt the word!'
The day before - on an outing for which Tomer had asked for
and during which he asked deep questions as so often,
[side-tracking me to something else, whenever my answers became "too" deep...]
I had taught him the word, which my daughter once invented,
a derivation from the word "sculpture" , paesael, in the Ten Commandments.
Now - in the early morning on the veranda - he told the context himself:
"I had asked grandma about her difficulties with Ayelet,
and she said, she didn't want to tell me,
for she would risk that then I would stigmatize Ayelet."
"Oh yes", I remembered, "and then I told him the moving story
about Ayelet's grand idea
of the 4 hands of the Quartet with Mika's hand in between."
I had also told Tomer about the drama "Andorra" by Max Frisch
(mentioned often on Healing-K.i.s.s., i.g. puzzle piece 12 and puzzle piece 22)

************
I now read the following sentence about Max Frisch's Andorra:
"Only the Priest is ashamed of his actions and makes no excuses,
aware that he of all people should not have stereotyped Andri,
interpreting it as a breach of the second commandment,


"You shall not make a sculpture or any image."
[since I could not find any exact English translation of Ex. 20:4 , I made my own..]
****************

While we were talking, Mika wanted to play with Nella,
but another dog, small and cute, had entered the lawn,
and Nella preferred the dog as playmate.
Suddenly Mika seemed to remember her wisdom the day before.
She came and took my hand, gently, without words, leading me to the dogs,
as if saying: "Maybe you can return to me my Nella!"
How on earth could I solve this problem and get rid of the other dog?
Again I was helped - quickly and miraculously!
Without thinking or planning I opened the gate, both dogs rushed out,
then - with no hope - I called Nella, and - can I believe it - she came back.
Now the dog was inside, but how make her play with Mika?
Again a tiny miracle:
I talked to Nella softly and when Mika approached her,
she held still and let her hug her.

I was and am so grate-full for this little situation:
For me there was a real healing in both:
Mika's double hand-holding and Tomer's application of the message:
"Thou shalt not make an image"
on my relating to Mika!

I haven't mentioned one more condition for the trigger to ripen:
Efrat is the one who crowds the house, closets, shelves etc. with shoppings.
There is hardly a day, if even one! that she does not buy something,
which in my eyes - and mostly also in my son's eyes - is "unnecessary",
like toys or clothes for Mika.
She also buys things for me - different house-shoes last winter, for instance,
as if one pair wouldn't be enough.
The most ironic purchase for me was, what she handed over to me on this Friday:
3 pretty boxes of "straw" (?), one inside the other. Boxes!
The first trigger for me is - the consumerist pattern,
the second trigger is - the spending of money for nonsense,
so there is not enough money left for the big, but vital things.
It was Me, who had to point out to them 5 weeks ago,
that they had no choice but renting that terribly expensive house at Bet Nehemya.
The third trigger for me is the throwing-away pattern,
be it food, which was forgotten in the chaotic fridge
(when I put order in it, and the fridge then looks "empty", Efrat gets crazy.
"When I was a student and had no money to buy food,
I would paint pictures and place them in the fridge
in a way that it looked full."
Which is the opposite pattern of my preference for an orderly almost empty fridge,
to which no new food is added , until what is still in it, has been used and eaten.)

Now compare Efrat's addiction to shopping - and my being triggered by it -
to her complaint about my "seven hundred pitchewkes", none of them bought,
and you have - in addition to the circumstances on August 1 -
the most fantastic conditions for the eruption of a volcano.


The situation became even more complicated since we were not alone.
Tomer - I'll not forget how he looked at us, turned his back and walked away.
Immanuel - forever frightened of any triggering between his mother and his wife,
though 19 months could have proven to him, how rarely this happens -
was on edge himself because of the superhuman efforts of the last days and nights.
The last thing he could bear was an emotional "scene" on top of everything.
And what compounded his fright and anger, was,
that this time it seemed to be me, who "started all this",
his mother who had simply gone out of her mind.
Even the next evening,
when on the foldable couch in the corner of Immanuel's studio,
[a great idea of Efrat ! of making use of a new and necessary piece of furniture,
for which even in my eyes there didn't seem to be any space in this house !]
a quiet communication occurred suddenly between my son and me.
He still did not understand and not justify my having been triggered,
nor did he really grasp my way of coping with what I myself had attracted.

After a few minutes Efrat, who had run away, came back, trying to say something.
I screamed: "Do not talk to me until I'll have done work with myself!"
When Immanuel wanted to interfere, Efrat, too, made him shut up,
and when he turned to me reproaching me for not even agreeing to talking,
I screamed:
"None of you is capable of listening to my discharge, so leave me alone!"

This, of course, was correct: my discharge would have triggered them terribly.
It was preferable, that Immanuel blamed me and that Efrat felt guilty for half a day.

Yes, it took about 7 hours, until I could overcome my pain and resentment
and ask Efrat "to talk for 5 minutes".
And this only, because we were about to travel to the Shabbat dinner at Micha's.
I didn't want to sit with them in one car and at one table with an abyss between us.

But back to the seven hours.

My first re-action was to punish, to take revenge, "to show her!"
It wasn't after much crying on my bed,
and after Tomer's soothing action,
that I became aware that my behavior was just this: punishing, taking revenge!
I threw all the books from the blue shelf
and started to squeeze them into one of the three minimal spaces of the chest ,
in the left space I had already "ordered" my own small things,
in the small bottom drawer in the middle I ordered Mika's junk,
throwing away what could not be fitted into it.
Now there was only the right space, which could contain only part of the books.
So I looked into the books one by one
and decided what book would indeed "never be read again".
When - the next evening - Efrat and Immanuel had a look at the latter,
they agreed to all of them, except for a booklet in memory of Efrat's classmate,
who had been killed by a "stupid" accident in the army,
and except for a book (an entire book!) about the fashion of T-shirts,
which would be of interest for Tomer, who is so concerned about "fashion".

In the end I even enjoyed the order of the books I had accomplished:
the high books in the back, the low books in front, the rest discarded.
I took the shelf out of the room - the room now was shelf-clean!
But not for long!
Efrat - partly triggered, partly trying to compensate - brought in a low shelf:
"Maybe you want this, it doesn't interfere with the spaciousness
for which I yearned!"
I said nothing.
Another time, when I moved outside, Immanuel said;
"You can have the little foldable table, I don't need it!"
As if I had removed it from the room, because someone else "needed" it.
I could see everyone's efforts to appease me, but "now or never"!
Now or never would I get to the core of my hole,
and for this I needed to be left alone and refuse tables, shelves and everything else.

Whatever clothes and shoes I had not yet taken back to Arad before moving house,
I now packed in two plastic-bags and stuffed them into the miniature toilet "room",
which is next to the entry and would only be used by Tomer and me.
"I'll take them with me to Arad", I thought in defiance, "and whatever I'll need here,
will always be brought in my backpack and taken back in my backpack".

When I was done with all revengeful ordering, I lay on my bed.
I desperately wanted to sleep,
- the airconditioning, which I later replaced by a less electricity consuming vent -
should have helped me with that,
but instead I cried and sobbed and wailed and screamed into my cushion.

It was thus, that I gradually came "to my senses",
i.e. free of my self-pity and self-victimization
and aware of the nature of the hole, which had been triggered so badly.
And as I mentioned in the beginning of this report,
the awareness came in the form of two verses from the Gospel of Luke, the doctor,
(in my eyes - the account which really caught the essence of Jesus of Nazareth!)
which had been imprinted in me from my early childhood:
"Denn sie hatten da kein Raum in der Herberge"
because there was no room for them in the inn
Luke 2:7
"Die Voegel haben Nester und die Fuechse haben Gruben,
aber des Menschen Sohn hat nicht da er sein Haupt hinlege."
Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests;
but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.
Luke 9:58

In that situation the metaphors weren't even metaphors - they were physical reality,
or so it seemed to my aching heart.
Then, of course, I could see clearer and clearer:
they indeed were a metaphor - not for the present situation in the house of "Efrat",
but for my "house" in this life, in this world, among the people of this planet.
Once Efrat came in - bringing the pretty little table,
which at Shoham had been her smoking-table on the veranda
- as a compensation for that foldable table -

"ani lo rotzah le-tzamtzem otakh" - I don't want to curtail you -
but it's not her who curtails me, it's myself.
This is - after 70 years - my patterned, pathetic way of coping with the "fact",
that I am "the trigger number one in the world", as my friends once said.

In the New Testament Jesus was called - in Greek - a "scandalon"
(from which modern languages derived the word "scandal").
In German the translation of this term is "Anstoss",
which has two paradoxical meanings
(I now remember the long talk with Tomer about his question what a paradox is.
"once, when I'll have my own band, I'll call it 'paradox'!"
"Are you dreaming about a band? I'm glad" -
"It's not a dream, I won't do everything, everything in order to realize it!"
"Is there anything, you would do everything, in order to reach it?"
He hesitated a bit and then said: "I don't think so!")
"to push something - a car for instance - into movement"
and "to behave repulsively, scandalously", in other words: "to trigger".
It wasn't me who figured out that in this paradox - the "Anstoss" -
there was a valuable message:
I may be the Anstoss number one in the world,
but I'm being this,
because I'm meant to be an Anstoss in so many people's lives:
an Anstoss which will awaken them from their complacency and conformity
towards becoming themselves.

I wonder, from fear to fear to fear to fear,
why I still have such difficulty to accept this essence of my existence:
to be an Anstoss, who triggers - my childrens'.... holes -
but by doing so ~ unwittingly, with no intention whatsoever ~~~ helps them heal.

I've learnt to accept so many feelings , so many of my qualities, even my body.
But I've not yet learnt to accept my very existence among people.
I even went into every possible endeavor to get out of the lives of "people",
so that neither they nor I have to cope with "eventual" triggers.
For, as I'm saying here over and over again,
only in a relationship of ongoing mutual dependency
is there a chance,
that triggers will be transformed
from something frightful into something fruitful.
This is the reason, why I have confined my interactions almost solely to my family.
To my regret, but definitely to my benefit,
not all of the 16 members of my family are in continuous or in any contact with me.
They believe, they can ignore me, i.e. the triggers, which I represent for them.
But this is not the case with the Foursome: Immanuel, Efrat, Mika and Tomer.
And my task - not a new one - but a truly acknowledged and accepted task is now:
to accept myself as the "trigger number 1" of my family.
My birthday wish was and is such a trigger.
Even the humorous forwarding of Ra'id's condolence letter [see below]
is such a trigger.
And when I take the thunderbolts and lightenings with a smile,
I'm blamed: "ah! you don't care!"

Of course, this is what my fear of being blamed, attracts. What else?
Even if I don't "do" anything "bad" in the present,
I'm stupefied, when I happen to discern the distorted memories of my children.
We are all like that:
if there were 90% of "good" things, and 10% of "bad" things,
we'll minimize the "good" things to something general,
and exaggerate the details of the "bad" things into monstrosities.
But that everybody "does" this, doesn't mean, it doesn't pain me.
How often have I re-learnt and trained in:
"there is no way to be righteous and to be seen as righteous",
wherever I agreed to play a role in another person's drama,
I must accept both:
that the other person has cast me into the role that fits his/her learning
and that I have agreed to playing this role,
because it enhances my own learning.

To accept and constantly move my fears of triggering my children,
and to accept and move their blaming, with a bit of love and laughter,
and to be alert with much love and much laughter,
when I'll watch myself making myself small and if at all possible - invisible,
or squeezing my belongings into a narrow closet and onto a limited shelf...


While searching in my folder of "illustrations", in order to replace "The Scream",
I find this little geyser.
Yes, that's what I am and accept to be: a geyser, a regularly erupting fountain,
trusting, that even my children can enjoy the freshness of it , time and again...

Tomer came in, while I lay crying on my bed,
at first without knocking and with some impertinent demand.
Only later I understood that he tried to find a way to calm me down.
I sent him away.
Sometime later he tried again, knocking, asking,
if he could play a CD on the computer which I would like.
At first I didn't trust him: "it's only a way for him to get to my computer"
(since he does not yet have one in his own room).
But when I allowed it and he played very gentle songs,
all the while looking at me on my bed, still with a tear running down now and then,
I got it! He came as the "angel of the abyss",
a role he has played more than once in my life.

When he wanted to go out with me,
I no longer refused, as I had done the night before.
And despite some small triggers
- he smoke 4 cigarettes in a row in my presence, which I should not have allowed-
and spitting next to me, which I so often had asked him not to do -
it was a good togetherness for him, for us, and for my process of relaxing.

When we came back and it was time to prepare for driving to Micha's,
I said to Tomer: "Tell Efrat, that I want to talk with her for 5 minutes!"
"I'll say, that savta tells you that..."
"Yes, you can say it this way."
Efrat came and asked me to go to the veranda.
She always goes there, first of all in order to smoke and to relax.
I hoped we could be in "my" room, undisturbed.
But I didn't object, and while on the veranda, I said:
"I'm not angry with you, it is.."
She already wanted to jump, but I soothed her:
"Please let me say a few sentences without you reacting."
After the next sentence, she distorted her face in opposition.
"You promised "without reacting",
"Even mimic is not allowed?"
"No!"
I told her about my hole and why I had attracted this trigger etc etc.
As the only concrete example of what had triggered me so much,
I quoted her sentence: "Don't think you can have the entire closet"!
"For this I apologize, it was stupid, illogical and had nothing to do with you,
but with a conversation the night before with Immanuel about the fact
(Immanuel later told me that it's not "a fact"...)
that my clothes are dispersed in different rooms
and not concentrated in one closet."
But as my being "parental" to having attracted that trigger,
she said, and rightly so:
"The problem is, that you now will act accordingly", meaning,
that I now would behave like she was not giving me space whatsoever.
"This might be true for the first time, and I ask your forgiveness for it!
There is this trend in me now, to punish you by   NOT   TAKING   SPACE!
Give me time to heal it, because the hole is so abyssmal you can't imagine ."

"But wasn't it me out of all your children, who invited you to live with me?"
She, indeed, had invited me, with the greatest warmth, to even give up Arad
and live with them in one family, in one house.
"But this is what I'm trying to get through to you.
My need for a trigger has nothing to do with you at all.
It is me who feels that I have no right to exist,
it is me who feels that I am a burden on everyone."
[I just peeped into that page called : My Being Too Much, - it is heartbreaking...]

At the end of - not 5 but perhaps 15 minutes - I asked Efrat to hug.
She stretched out a frozen body and face and I felt chilled.
But I also caught a glimpse of Tomer: he showed a shy smile of contentment.

The chill faded during the next hours,
and until the next morning the tension was all but gone.

Except that I still felt the "punishing need".
'I'll have to do something which counteracts this behavior', I said to myself.
"Efrat does not deserve this and to me it is the opposite of helping and healing."
So I began to relate to the low shelf, they had brought in the day before.
It was really more suitable than the high blue one,
of natural wood, low, integrating into the room.
I took the books out of the cabinet and re-ordered them on one of the 2 "floors",
again checking each of them, if they would "ever be looked into again".
In the end, I had established a perfect and harmonious order.
Only one book didn't fit in - my own book, the Hebrew edition of
"All Israel are Guarantors for each other",
which I once had given to each of the persons, whose faces appear on the envelope,
- also to Immanuel, who appears on the back of the book,
underneath Shim'on Peres, who is now the President of Israel.
I saw a message in this 'no room for my book among the books of my children':
'I'll return my Hebrew Bible from the closet in the chest to where I had banned it,
back to the place next to the reading lamp
to where it belongs and where it always was
ever since I began to commute between Arad and Shoham, on January 1, 2007.'
(it is the copy with the embroidered cover of my daughter, and Deqel's new bag).
'Underneath I'll place my book, because that's where it belongs !'

The now empty closet in the chest I used
for ordering my belongings more spaciously.

And I had to concede,
that it was - objectively - good, that Efrat's hatred of the blue shelf had forced me
to come up with a new and better solution ,
by first eliminating unnecessary books,
and then ordering the rest in a compact, overviewable way.

The next morning I had a chance to overcome my pride and admit this:
When we all seated ourselves in the car, Immanuel discovered,
that a big heap of big flagstones had disappeared from the parking lot.
I said, that yes I had seen a pickup with 4 people taking them.
But since they worked so openly and so loudly, I believed,
that they had gotten the order to take the tiles away."
"No, no, no! They entered a private area!
I intended to pave that lawn-less piece behind the house
for hanging up the laundry!"
I felt guilty! Why hadn't I woken him up!
But then I pulled myself together and said:
"Don't worry! Remember the blue shelf!"
He didn't understand, nor was he interested in understanding.
When I was alone with Efrat at some moment, I asked her:
"Did you understand the code of the blue shelf?"
"Not really!" she hesitated, scared a bit of what would "come now".

"Let the blue shelf be your code!
I was so angry, when you said that the books could all be thrown away!
and now see, what came out of it!
I screened your books, you checked your books and their order,
and everyone is content with the solution we found.
So maybe you'll find out, that the theft of the flagstones will be for the good,
because you'll come up with a much better solution for the laundry."
[July 10, 2011: after less than half a year at Bet Nehemya - all of us, including me,
were disgusted with that house and with that village, and they moved back to Shoham!
Only to be disgusted with that flat+garden again (that also included ME!).
But after 11 months - at the end of June 2011 - they finally had the chance to buy their own flat
and to keep improving its interior till - one day - they will be wholly content!]

I had dealt with my pride successfully,
and I had let her know that I was really through ,
through and behind the punishing attitude.

But am I now wholly accepting my being an ANSTOSS for my children?

[After the pool: "No! that's not the point! See on August 7!)

July 10, 2011

My fig-tree

Following July 9, 2011,
when my family came for a very rare visit to Arad -
I realize, that I really have healed that hole
of "having no right to exist",
I want - as a sign - to insert here 3 images,
which I took, on July 3 - of the miniscule buds on my fig-"tree".
The shrub, which - unlike other trees planted in January 2010 - still survives,
lost its 5 leaves
and I felt so sad, fearing, that "now this tree is gone too",
and not for the first time, for I've planted a figtree in the past.

I'm putting all my desire and intention in the future of these buds,
like I put all my desire and intention in the healing into wholeness'
the healing of myself, of my family members, of humanity.

Finetuning to my Present

While walking from Lehavim for half an hour, until a car picked me up,
I had an idea about how to device the 12 days until my 70th birthday.
It was reinforced while swimming and swinging (not singing!) in the pool:
the 12 days on which no interaction nor action nor traveling are expected,
shall also be free of any input via Internet or TV,
or at least free of sculpting an information or message I may receive from it.
The 12 days will be wholly dedicated to driving backward
probably into everything that is connected to the Rosenzweig family since 1918,
(I've finished the first reading of the 830 pages of the Gritli Letters!)
and perhaps - in between - of re-studying some Godchannel files into depth.

I got a confirmation of this plan , when I opened my e-mail
for the first time since the night between July 30 and 31,
since in the early morning of July 31 Immanuel disconnected all computer systems
and brought the hardware - by his own car - to Bet-Nehemya,
so that the YES company, scheduled for 9 AM, could at least connect TV.

The first personal e-mail was stupefying:
An expressence of condolence to the grandchildren of Rachel Rosenzweig,
from Ra'id Fadila, the son of my first partner in "Partnership", Rushdi Fadila.
[see "Search" , where I also discovered a page especially relevant on this day:
A beautiful experience towards the Closure of Healing-K.i.s.s. in July 2003 ]

"I searched for the name of my father, who died of cancer in 1991,
and came across your pages and your grandmother.
I am so sorry to learn, that she is dead! "
And then he tells, what I meant for him and what he remembers of Israel,
which he left for Germany, when he became 18 years old,
and his family's time at "Neve-Shalom"....
I translated the bad German of the letter into Hebrew and sent it to my children.
The feelings - in addition of being amused - are not yet clear to me,
and I don't know yet, how to respond and how to relate to Ra'id,
who was surprised to hear, that
"Rachel knew German and that her husband was from Germany"...
Is this what a visitor learns from my website?
Anyway , a letter in German from my home-country
- from the son of my Israeli Arab dead partner
about my death,
this is more than weird
and I must understand its meaning...
In any case - this e-mail about the past fitted my 12 day plan very well!
as did a second e-mail by someone called "Amir",
who does research on Kufr Bir'am and Kibbutz Bar'am
and was told that he should talk to me.
What does it mean, this double reminder of my peace-work 30 years ago?

Song of the Day

May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadows call
Will fly away
May it be you journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun