1998_06_15
checked for updates on 2005_07_03

Healing Class Discussion Lesson I+II

Can the two devils exist in their own right place?
What does the Mother want to do?
How can we help you solve the problem of Ahriman and Lucifer?
I've forgotten what it's like to be happy.
How is reclaiming lost Will related to forgiveness?
Is Ahriman the part of me that denies?
The new road begins here.

Can the Two Devils Exist in their Own Right Place?

I feel great that I am a co-creator with God and the Mother of Everything,
I like the responsibility
and I would like to help tackle the problem of Ahriman and Lucifer.
Perhaps, God's own words
of finding a place for everything are the key.
Let us all allow the two devils to exist in their own right place.
Is this possible?

pp26b
"When the reintegration of the Spirit Polarity has been completed,
all of the qualities of the two devils will be back inside of me,
which is their right place and where they belong.
I will then be parental to them and responsible for
and in control of these qualities and traits.
There are many positive attributes to both Devils,
they were once me.
Almost all of their bad behaviors have been a result
of being cut off from me through my denial of them.
The denials will be healed when we are reintegrated.

"It will be very helpful to Creation
if you do the same and take responsibility for your integration.
Just as with me, until you own and integrate your own denials,
wholeness will be unrealized,
and the devils will seem to be outside of you
and in control of your reality."

What does the Mother want to do?

I agree with all You've written here
and I've read the first 4 of Ceanne's books
and am loving every page of the fifth book.
I'm looking forward to lesson 3.
God Bless You ... Bless You, God ... God,
Bless Yourself, You're awesome, Man, I Love You!!!
Thanks for being so real with us
and for facing your fears and problems,
and for letting us in on them.
Peace and love, and more power to You!

And may You bless those people
who are working on their computers
to make this website a reality.
In 1982, I had a dream in which Jerry Garcia,
of the Grateful Dead, was standing above me.
His head was surrounded by an enormous halo of light -
perhaps it was the sun behind him,
and he spoke one sentence to me,
"Truth and reality are two totally separate things."
Two years ago I finally interpreted that sentence in exactly the same way
that You expressed it in Your lesson on Truth and reality.

Recently, I had a dream
in which many hundreds of evolving-inclined people
formed a human pyramid
and began focusing their light onto a huge, round, flat mirror.
Being near the top of the pyramid or at its base
was not a show of how important each human was,
this was a lesson that we are all equally important,
and we can all work together and accomplish an amazing thing.
In my dream, all of us worked together
and we beamed a huge beam of light
in all of the rainbow colors up towards God.
It wasn't clear to me exactly why we did this.
I just knew it was for a wonderful cause,
perhaps to show God that we can help.
How can we help You solve the Problem of Ahriman and Lucifer?
Have you found their right place inside of You?
What does the Mother want to do?

"To know what the Mother wants to do
is to know your own deepest desires.
I know she wants to move.
She especially wants to move the terror, rage and hopelessness
that have been stuck in the deepest layers of the magnetic essence
since before the beginning of time.
And I know she must move,
if she and I, and you and the rest of Creation are to survive.
She wants to move freely, very deeply and completely.
She wants to move within you and through you.

"I too want to come with my Light
to support your acceptance of her,
no matter
how bad, sickening and repulsive these feelings might seem at first.
She hasn't yet been able to move her deepest held pain and hopelessness
because she hasn't yet been able to find acceptance for it,
or even consider trusting
that there may now be acceptance
where there has never been before."

How can we help You solve the problem of Ahriman and Lucifer?

Have you found their right place inside of You?

"These questions will be answered more fully in Lesson Three.
For now I will say that

pp26b
you can help me solve the problems
I created in my denial of Ahriman and Lucifer
by being aware of the role each of them plays in your life,
and choosing love instead of hate (Lucifer),
and choosing acceptance and understanding instead of cold indifference (Ahriman).

Lucifer's consciousness has been merging with mine,
and his separateness is much less distinct
than it was even a short while ago.
Ahriman's existence as an independent being
is still being defined,
and I have been withdrawing my projections more slowly from him than from Lucifer.
My primary focus now is
to first clearly define Ahriman as separate from me
and complete my differentiation from him.
When that is done, I'll begin the reintegration process,
this time with me in the parental role,
as I am now with Lucifer.

"There is a third realm of Spirit denials that we will also discuss.
They are called the Asuras
and include beings of the Spirit Polarity known as 'Demons', 'Psychopathic Killers' and 'Denial Spirits'.
The right place for these beings is different than Lucifer's and Ahriman's.

"You have glimpsed a part of Truth with your dream of the pyramid
and the message that each part is of equal importance to the whole.
It is true that each person,
part,
feeling,
thought,
experience,
and action in Creation
is essential,
and therefore equally valuable and important to the whole.
On the journey to wholeness
one acknowledges the essential and invaluable contribution
of each and every part of themselves.

"The first step in doing this is
to stop denying
that there is something that is not a part of you.
And the second step is to stop believing
that some parts are less important than others."

pp29

I've Forgotten What it's Like to be Happy

This is my third draft of a letter I was planning to write in response to this course
that God is giving on healing.
I'll be brief as possible:
I'm not happy with God,
I don't think He's a very good father figure for the human race,
I think he's a deadbeat father
who lets his children run around like wild animals to kill and harm each other,
and He's directly responsible for my depression.
I've done my part,
trying to clear away conflicts from my past lives to help myself,
but I can hardly get anywhere because God won't own up to what He did.
All I feel is this feeling that I don't deserve what I have,
and I've looked in all the wrong places, except one: God.
God, in His infinite wisdom and apparent perfection, is at fault.
No ifs, ands, or buts.
I'm tired of blaming myself for this pain I feel; it's His fault.
Yet . . . and this is very sad of me to say . . .
I'm too used to not being very happy
and not being the teenager I should be
because I've forgotten what it's like to be happy,
I feel that being happy and laughing is now some precious privilege that I don't deserve,
and I even feel like this is my place in life: To be unhappy.
Why? For balance.
If someone's very happy and laughing somewhere on the other side of the world,
someone somewhere else has to be down in the dumps and depressed.
At least, if someone else is happy because I'm choosing to be so down and depressed,
then I guess I can be somewhat glad for something in the end, for my self-sacrifice,
giving up my happiness for someone else to have.
What would the Almighty say about this?

"As I said at the beginning of class, I am evolving.
Infinite wisdom and perfection belong to Grandfather, not to me.
I'm still learning, and yes, I make mistakes as I learn by doing.
You may not yet think I do,
but I know you are innocent,
and it's fine to blame me for anything and everything,
because 'the buck stops here'.
If you'd like to be free of the whole guilt/blame spectrum, however,
you can release the judgments you have against yourself and others,
including me, as I suggest on the page The Last Judgment.

"As I've said elsewhere,
the most fundamental value of this universe is free will.
I know that you don't have that condition now,
in fact almost the opposite is true here on Earth
because a few people have found enough power to deny everyone else's.
To deny a person's Right Power is to deny their freedom,
and this situation is about to change.

"As you and others awaken to your own greatness and who you truly are,
and as you reclaim your lost essence,
the balance of power here will soon be changing dramatically.
However, there will always be free will,
which means that your own individual responsibility must be the ruler of your behavior,
not me or anyone else, you and only you.

"If I had been a 'good' father,
and prevented my 'children' from running around harming each other,
I would have created a universe where everyone would have to do as I say.
In some ways, that would be much better than what we have now on Earth,
except for one thing.
There would be no freedom.
Instead of the 'wild animals' full of life and lust that you are,
you'd be like well trained pets. Ugh!

"There is some truth in what you suggest about balance.
However, your unhappiness is not necessary to balance others' happiness,
in fact it doesn't help anything.
I know that being an aware teenager in your culture at this time
is one of the most painful and difficult burdens on Earth.
I don't want you to sacrifice your happiness for anyone or anything.
I do, however hope that you will offer up to me your pain and suffering,
your depression and longing.
On the page True Sacrifice I have some specific advice
about how you can involve me in your healing process.

"If you ask, I will help you make it right, I will help you heal.
But I won't do it for you or to you.
That would take away the most valuable gift you own,
your freedom to evolve in the unique way only you can,
into the unique being only you can be.
Stay with me here and find the Mother and me inside of you.
Together we can make it the way you truly want.
My voice sounds like yours,
and its the one that tells you
that you're greater than you thought,
and that you are right to feel the way you do."

pp29

How is reclaiming Lost Will related to forgiveness?

I am very happy to have found this website.
Thank you God, and thank you Channelers for making it available to all of us
who have a real interest in healing our Self and getting It all back together.
I have been working with A Course in Miracles since '86.
I have read all but the seventh of the Right Use of Will series,
NDWs Conversations with God, Books 1 and 2.
I have a copy of the Urantia book that I read from time to time, but rarely.
And then there was Seth Speaks, by Jane Roberts
that really got me moving in this direction fourteen or fifteen years ago.
My comment is that I really feel accelerated by discovering this site,
recognizing a familiar Spirit and wanting to experience more,
especially toward the healing of the Mother
and of closing the gap between the Creator and Created.
My question is, how is reclaiming lost Will essence through emotional release related to forgiveness?
Is Unity really possible to experience?
I would also like to state for all to read
that I am most definitely willing to accept my part in God's Plan for the Salvation of the world.
I am just not very clear as to what that is, or what it means.
So any help towards this end is deeply appreciated. In the meantime,
thank you all for being here and for sharing so openly and honestly.

"There are several ways forgiveness and reclaiming lost essence are related.

Forgiveness means releasing resentments,
turning the other cheek and no longer needing anything from the one forgiven.
A Course in Miracles is a manual on how to do this with congruence and integrity,
but it doesn't address the issue of lost will or magnetic essence.

"Reclaiming magnetic essence that you've previously denied
requires coming out of denial
and feeling what you didn't want to feel before.
If it's a resentment,
and you release it
because you're now aware
that the problem was with you, and not the other,
then you're using the forgiveness model
to reclaim a projection,
a part of yourself
that you had denied onto another.

"Forgiving yourself by releasing judgments is then the next step.

"When you have completely accepted your previously denied essence,
whether it be spirit or will,
you will be forgiven by the part or parts that you had denied.

"In the case of will essence, there will be a release of the held emotion
when the denied part feels and accepts the light of your love and acceptance.
And you can involve me in the process by offering the stuck emotions to me.

"Yes, unity, or wholeness, is to become the foundation of human experience.
Fragmentation as we've known it is coming to an end.
Wholeness and unity of being will be the base
upon which you'll build the kind of world you've always known possible,
but hasn't yet been quite real."

Is Ahriman the part of me that denies?

I feel to be a piece of Heart
and I am now opening to allow within me mother-desire essence to align in love with spirit...
here in my body, here on earth.
I am grateful for what you shared about Ahriman, God.
What came to me in response was the sense
that Lucifer is what I have pushed outside me in denial
and Ahriman is the part of me that is within and did the denying.
Is that understanding similar to your insight, God?

"Yes, the act of denial is Ahrimanic, meaning he is involved in it,
and you may even say the inspiration of it.
The responsibility for denials, however, goes to the denier, and is a choice.
Ahriman is the presence within
that assures you that blame is correct
and that hatred is warranted when 'appropriate'.
He's the coldly logical scientist and accountant within
that decides on the validity of ideas and feelings
and the relative value of people and things,
and denies them when they don't pass the tests he devises."

pp14
I also appreciate that you acknowledged
that this internet medium is not one that fully empowers the Mother-Desire essence expression.
For me making music and making sounds
and breathing into raw emotion
and expressing true feelings
and splashing about in water
and feeling desire alive within me and....
these are ways I feel more appropriately support the needs of my own Mother essence.
Will there be a time and place where the Mother of Everything
has an all powerful consolidated consciousness and form instead of the fragments everywhere?

"You say it well.
Relating with the Mother and expressing her in your body
is often quite fun, and isn't all work,
or even necessarily difficult.
It is best, in fact, when it's like play.

"Yes, the Mother's essence is consolidating,
but not in the way consciousness consolidates,
around a single focal point.
Magnetic essence creates and opens space,
and unlike light,
is not limited to any particular space.

"Yes, she will be here on Earth,
and fully embodied in union with me.
Will you be shocked
if it's in you that our union finds it's finest form?"

Return to Lesson Two
Return to Lesson One