App-Desert Peace Process 2002-SuccatSarah

The Purpose of HEALING - K.I.S.S.

- as stated 12 years ago - was and is

to help me and my potential P E E R s

"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,

and - by extension - all of CREATion!"

Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013
and Overview of its main libraries

[If you look for a word on this page,
click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]

I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"

See further down 2012 the last three of
The 8 RIGHT USE OF WILL Books

Overview of and Links to the Pages of My Community: Desert Vision - Succah

Parting from its realization in the exterior World

A DESERT PEACE PROCESS - 2002 - Succat Sarah

Dawn over the Succayah

Succat
Sarah

The Road to
Mitzpe-Ramon

Hebrew
e-mails

"SARAH"

The Change of the "Sarah" Succah as a symbol for the change in the Succah Concept ????
2002_10_13-4 ;


At first I closed the sides only by stitching double sheets (netshade&jute) and velcro fastener	In the second year Ilan Sabag, my first ingenious carpenter, made this window


Then Renata made two windows on the Western and one on the Eastern side in addition to the sheet doors, in which - after 4 years of frustration with the velcro - enormous zips were stitched into the 2nd or 3rd generation of double sheets. But they too had to be replaced every two years, which was a hard and time consuming job, done mostly by us, the women, but at Gadi's time mostly by Gadi.	Here the view shines through the lower window. At that time it was impossible to find a really functional shape of a solar lamp. Gadi made up for the storky leg, by inserting it into a piece of marble. The cushions, covers, curtains and ornaments through the years since Sarah's existence reflect the creativity (and availability of time) of the team, in this case of Dorit and Efrat.


I'm one of the last guests in old "Sarah", with view to "Yitzkhaq" [Isaac] , "Rukhara" and "Rivqah" Rebecca]	The second floor for honeymooners


Inside and outside, morning sun and shades, rocks and carpets	A perfect place for meditators

	Part of the standard kitchen in a succah
Climbing on rocks to the second floor	Behind the kettle: the toilet kit for your secret desert spot	Looking at the stars through the open "door" from the bed downstairs


Desert herbs in a dark bottle and an earthen jug cannot hide the ugly zips and the broken window, which were one of Avi's reasons for rebuilding "Sarah" and giving up its (symbolic) triangular shape.	Still the view into the Eastern part of the Succayah wadi, towards "Leah", "Rachel" and "Ishma'el", was beautiful.

When I came for the second time for the sake of this peace process, I found a new Sarah,
not only renewed, like "Yitzkhaq" and "Rivqah" have been renewed, but really new.

I felt pleased and scared at the same time.
More than pleased with the beauty of Sarah,
but shocked, because the triangular form was gone.

In the beginning, when Dani Qish suggested this form as the simpliest to execute,
I connected no symbolic value to it.
This started to change through many experiences in the years to come.
My awareness woke up, when Ram Eisenberg invented the pyramidal tent.
This tent is a "tetra"-"eder",
i.e. it consists of four triangles, one of them is the earth beneath the structure.

Though the succah shape is a quite distorted tetraeder,
it still is totally different from the shapes of most houses/huts on this planets.

Then I started to learn about the meaning - some say, the "energetic" value - of the triangle in general and the tetraeder in particular.
It is not yet the time to share these experiences except for the one, that permeates this website as symbol and sound of the fourfold
GOD

While I was grieving over "Sarah", the meaning of this change emerged:
"You have understood and agreed, haven't you,
that the law of the temporariness of the "Succayah Parent" is invalid at present,
Abraham Dror will be - as can be foreseen - the Parent as long as he lives.
It is not by chance, that he transformed Sarah exactly at this time,
between your first and your second peace process visit.
The time for the livability of the threedimensional triangle is not ripe,
not in physical functional structures and not in relationships between lovers."

A beautiful porch above the spot where I had combed my hair opens the view to the Ya'acov Succah, which will be the next to be renewed.

No more velcros and zips and sheets so frustrating for the team-workers and also not exactly convenient for the guests. The price for "Sarah": the triangular shape is gone.

Dawn over the Succayah

Succat
Sarah

The Road to
Mitzpe-Ramon

Hebrew
e-mails

September 9, 2012

My mother was born in Leipzig
on September 9, 1909.
She died in my arms in Israel
on February 20, 1985.
"Everyone could die like that",
i.e. in such loving care,
said Prof. Mario Rabinowitz ,
founder of the first "Hospice" in Israel.
Now, on this day, I check the theme of "Sternstunden der Philosophie" in 3SAT
and it is about
an interview with a man,
who felt like a cosmic peer of mine,
Prof. Gian Domenico Borasi, Palliative Medicine,
After intent listening for 55 minutes
I opened a site, which says it:
"Compassion and Presence
>Spiritual Care for the Living and Dying".
That interview brought up not only
my experience with my mother,
and not only my eviction from that hospice
where I volunteered to talk with the dying,
but the horrid scene during
my 4 weeks service in a hospital in 1959.:
I felt like holding the hand of a sick man,
not even guessing that he was dying.
The main (Christian) nurse
pulled me out of the room , and screamed:
"You will never be suited to work as a nurse"
video: Ueber das Sterben-About Dying

September 8, 2012

Exactly 10 years after I began the Desert-Peace-Process
I'm using the free space on these pages for copying and graphically editing the info from
the last three of the eight books of Right Use of Will
Since the copying and excerpting of the Red Book is completed,
I continue to copy - without any omissions
the Orange Book and the Indigo Book.
Since I found out, that the Indigo Book has been "re-done" byCeanne, the Channeler,

Isn't it fitting, to listen to Haydn's "Creation", [with English subtitles of the lyrics)
while continuing to copy the chapter about
"THE ORIGINS OF PAN, OR THE ORIGINAL OFFERING OF THE APPLE?
I was singing in the choir, when the Israeli Symphony Orchestra performed "Creation" in Jerusalem in 1982

The orange, 6th RUOW book
[channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1995]
6 LAND OF PAN
The Loss of Power and Magic on Earth
Dedicated to The Father of Manifestation,
that maligned, misunderstood, but essential Part of God

The indigo, 8th RUOW book
[channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1995]
8 INDIGO - The Search for
True Understanding and Balance
Dedicated to
The Four Parts of God in Loving Balance

p. 200

since it was becoming increasingly intrusive into Our pleasant space with its, at first, buzzing, but now, growling and snapping noises, and that since He seemed more attracted to it than the rest of Us were, He seemed to be the One who wanted to, and therefore, should, go and investigate further. I had the impression that if He went, He might come right back to Us to give Us further impressions and information, but that was not how it turned out.

Once He left, We felt like We had lost the Father of Our encampment. I started feeling worse from there, and I felt the guilt already that I had wrongly encouraged Him to go or should not have let Him go.

First, there were the cracks and murmurings of terror about what this all meant and the possible reasons He had gone, including, now, that We were not as appealing and interesting as we had thought, that He had found whatever this was and preferred it, that He was not going to come back or that He could not come back because something terrible had happened, as indeed We feared from the increased terribleness of sounds coming now from that place. He had headed for. There was also the feeling of a smoldering split amongst Us that, if there had been words to say it, I feared would have blamed Me for encouraging HIm or letting Him go and blamed Him for not appreciating what He already had. There were many pictures empathically passing through Us, most predominantly, the picture that something terrible might be happening there and might be about to happen to Us, and that sending out others to find out what was going on might be a feeding of Ourselves to it One by One.

We weren't sure if this was really true or not, though, because many of the sounds now had a sound or feeling of sexual fernzy to them that We weren't sure We liked any better. Perhaps Our enfolding part had another partner and could get much more happening there and didn't want to come back. Whatever it was, I, and those around Me, still felt fear, but now it was for so many reasons I do not want to list them all. We had a growing feeling of dread and terror, even, that something We weren't going to like at all was about to happen. It seemed to be hanging in the void around us, like a thick night of stark terror.

We did not even know if Our firelight-like glow was protection for Us or a beacon calling to these frightening sounds and showing them where we were, but We wanted to keep Our glow going, not only for OUr own warmth and comfort, but for Our Father to find His way and return to Us if He would or could.

p. 201

Caution felt that for safety's sake, We had better reduce Our glow. The fire had fallen back to embers anyway when My patriarch left, as though the heart were taken from it by His parting and We left it there, having no feeling anymore of wanting to cultivate it to rise higher. We huddled around it, more and more fearing together there that we were a family who had been left with only a Mother because the Father had either gone off and been killed or had left Us for another family, and it might be a family of wild beasts.

We were left on Our own. We huddled even more together in Our dread, all listening and feeling together to see if We could find out anything by which to know more about what was really going on there.

It wasn't long before We felt we were falling away from all that We had felt We had going there.[sic] Our fire was only coals, and Our apprehension, dread and terror had grown into a thick compression all around Us. Then, as the coals were dying into ashes, the darkness turned ashes also and everything around. Us with it. I hoped morning might at last be coming and the return of Our Father with it, but its grayness felt bleak and I felt a great feeling of dread which became a sudden urgency that We must go out and look for Our Father.

We could barely move and started out with a tattered alignment, seething with splits, but I felt I must find out something even though My feelings already told Me this was going to have the wrong outcome for My heart. Before We had gone very far, We were struck by a great smack of light.

During all of this, I had been in another place too, simultaneously. In My reveric moments in a dream state, I had experienced Myself looking up through the warmly glowing colors around Me. It seemed as though I was looking up through a lucidity in Red, Orange and Yellow into a beautiful and wonderfully illuminated green where I saw a little elfin woman-girl whose form seemed quite well defined while Mine seemed still unknown to Me.

I saw her within a halo of soft, golden light which felt to Me like My presence there. This soft, golden halo, at times, became a wreath of golden leaves and other forest shapes, and at times seemed to become an actual golden ring, as though of golden metal, beautifully formed by tiny elfin creatures dancing around amongst a circle of trees making the ring shape of it. When I saw the ring, I saw only green and a beautiful sky blue floating behind it in changing patterns that were also fascinating to Me like

p.200 [continuation of "The Isle", Shabbat Sept. 22, 2012, Mona's birthday]

nearly as much as their own children, wanted to protect them and could see that they weren't going to be able to stop them from going for much longer.

The Celtic people decided to go to the temple people with their complaints once again. Once again, the temple people were very accomodating, but this time, the local people demanded more than polite response. They had had to much of that only to have nothing really change.

One young mother, who could not stand the tension of how it felt there and who had a baby in her arms that was one of the temple children, even told them that they had been findng babies hat they were sure were the result of pregnancies the temple people claimed to never have and that they had been raising them as their own children. She even told them that some of them now wanted to come to the temple to study and that they were not going to be allowed to unless there was a real change in the temple. The local people made it clear that they wanted a change in the temple or else they wanted the temple people to leave.

The ones they were speaking to told them it was mostly the female head of the temple that was the problem and that it had been her idea to go into the caves under the Tor. They told the local people that if they wanted to demand a change in the female head of the temple, they would support them in that and would be able to make a position shift if that took place. They said they didn't want any feelings of hostility she had stirred among the local people to reflect on them. They told the female head of the temple only that displeasing the local people could not be tolerated anymore, because it was the local people upon whose hospitality their continued presence depended.

They then used the opportunity to finally displace the one who had appointed herself head of the temple on the ship by getting the local people to say she had to step down, so that it did not even look like they had anything much to do with it. They seized the moment to appint another head of the temple who was more in alignment with the rest of them and presented it as a position shift, but it was not a real position shift. They just became more secretive about what they were really doing.

The local people reluctantly let their temple children go to the temple to study then, both because they felt they had been given something in response to their complaints, and because they could not hold these children back anymore. When these children came back to the temple people to study there, their parents did not tell

p.201

them they were temple children. The temple people did not recognize them as their own children, either, even though they knew that they must be.

These children were Celtic in many ways, but the temple people saw them as children who had something the others did not have, which was desire to learn what they knew and the mental acuity to do it. This was something they could work with. It was their own colors. They showed them off as students from the Celtic people who could learn what they had to teach and thought that they finally had some students who were going to tell them more of what they really wanted to know about the Celtic-Druid people, too.

The temple people began to see these students of theirs as the ones who could perpetuate the temple and took them under their wing, but when they initiated them into the temple, they told them that part of their mission was to go back to the Celtic people to learn as much as they could there, because the mission of the temple was the bringing together of both worlds. This made it seem to these children that their parents were resisting this grand and altruistic mission and purpose and that these children had a destiny to be the bridges between the two worlds.

This was a good goal, but it was not what was really taking place there. The teachings of the temple were the Spirit polarized teachings that have always been taught on Earth so far, and among the subtle repercussions that were not overtly spoken of there, these temple children were being taught to look down on their Celtic parents who had taken them in out of the goodness of their hearts, but this was overlooked by these children because they did not have that much heart presence, themselves. They had guilt to reflect to their [adoptive ?] parents that made them feel they were not being very loving to resist the coming together of these two worlds and that the temple people were meant to be there or they would not have come.

In perpetuating the temple, the temple people gave the most prominent positions in the temple to the children who were most like them and who they thought were most likely to perpetuate the temple the way they wanted it perpetuated there. The temple people showed these children only the classes they taught and certain spiritual practices such as meditation and never let them see the sorts of rituals in which they had been conceived until they were older and tested by many other rituals and initiations to make sure they were going to be like them in these ways, too.

Haydn's "Creation", [with English subtitles] Nr. 1 Einleitung,

RAPHAEL 7:00
Im Anfange schuf Gott Himmel und Erde,
und die Erde war ohne Form und leer,
and the earth was without form and void
und Finsternis war auf der Fläche der Tiefe.

8:30 Choir:Und der Geist Gottes schwebte auf der Fläche der Wasser,
Und Gott sprach: Es werde Licht! Und es ward Licht.

URIEL 9:56
Und Gott sah das Licht, daß es gut war,
und Gott schied das Licht von der Finsternis.

The indigo, 8th RUOW book
[channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1995]
8 INDIGO - The Search for
True Understanding and Balance
Dedicated to
The Four Parts of God in Loving Balance

p. 202

watching clouds and leaves, and when I saw the elf, the golden ring became the halo again, with the wreath the intermediate step.

Her appearance was fascinating to Me, and her dark, almond shaped eyes were deep looking and open, while Mine seemed still shut. I saw her hiding beneath the leaves of tree branches, already large and fully grown, old in feeling even, yet very new and young too, just like the elfin woman, herself. This green seemed like Her home. I liked it thee, but it seemed just a bit cool to Me and I preferred seeing it this way, from within the soft enfoldment of warm furs by the glowing fire of Orange and Red where I lay dreaming of looking up through the glow of Red, Orange and Yellow overhead. She was fascinating to Me, though, and I kept returning to her over and over, seeing her image always there and always doing the same thing.

I wondered why the elf was always looking up, but then I found the blue to be beautiful and fascinating too, at times so full of such beautifully delicious hues that I wanted to draw it to Me as a means to taste it, touch it and feel it more. Then I noticed that there was a face from time to time who seemed to be looking back from the Blue.

This face was a he to Me. I could not tell if he saw Us or not, or what he saw, but when he looked down upon Us, I saw a soft, shimmering white Light sprinkling down through green and showering a bit into Yellow. I liked this Light and wanted It to come to Me. I was fascinated and wondered if this was part of what was fascinating the elf and drawing her to look up so much, or if this Light was, for some reason, making her hide. I felt that she wanted to have a relationship with this blue face, but was shy and did not know how to go about it. I tried to encourage her to reach out, but she did not seem to like the idea to directly reaching with her hands. Then I felt unsure if it was Me who wanted the relationship and not her.

I was seeing this from My own perspective. I was not sure how accurately I felt her or felt Myself in her, or how inside of her I was, or how much she felt Me, so I am not sure if she thought the face was looking at her and seeing Me, or if she thought he might not be as interested in her as in Me, or if he even saw Us or was aware of her, or if she was even aware of Me except as a presence of glowing, embracing , supporting warmth coming up into her from underneath her. Perhaps she did not know if he even saw anything of what was happening from Our side of this experience as We felt it to be taking place, similar to a face looking into still pond water

p. 203

which rippled gently at times, but showed him only his own reflection or the reflection of the light behind him coming back off the water, or if he saw into Us and into the life calling for him there.

We did not know these things then, and We did not find a means to ask. We were consumed by the imagery, which was all new to Us, or to Me, anyway, and everytime questions and uncertainties began to accumulate, the images and then the brightness and reality of the colors began to fade until I began to feel I should perhaps not allow Myself to have any such questions, confusions or doubts if it was causing Me to lose the beauty of the experience. Maybe We should go ahead and have the experience and find Our answers that way. We did not know.

I immediately loved this Light sprinkling gently down through Green and into Yellow. I wanted It to reach Me, but I did not immediately know if he was sending this down to Us, to her, to the forest, to everything there or to anything in particular, or if this Light just sprinkled down from him whereever he looked, since We did not know what he could see of Us, if anything at all.

There was nothing coming back from Blue to let Us know anything here, except that this silent but friendly seeming face and the springlings of Light went away from time to time as though he was not noticing Us, or wasn't very interested in Us, or was being distracted by something, perhaps something he liked better.

The elf was staying so hidden and cautious, fearful of both extending herself and of being rejected, I felt. I kept trying to encourage her to extend her hand, or to make an overture of some kind to engage this face looking down at Us from the Blue so that We could find out something, but she kept holdng back and staying mostly hidden, and the face kept coming and going, peering down into Us at times,

p.202

Some of them did not accept this and went back to their Celtic people, but even so, they subtly, and not so subtly, looked down upon them because they felt they had superior knowledge. It is not possible to bring two worlds together in balance if one or the other of them thinks it has superior knowledge, and by then, the Celtic-Druid people thought they had superior knowledge, too, because they were more grounded in the natural world than the temple people had ever demonstrated themselves to be in all the time they had been there.

nO BABIES WERE FOUND FOR A WHLE. sOME OF THE LoCAL PEOPLE THoUGHT THAY HAD GOTTEN THEIR POINT ACROSS IN A WAY THAT HAD CAUSED A BEHAVIOR CHANGE, BUT OTHERS FEARED THE TEMPLE PEOPLE HAD BEGUN TO DO SoMETHING EVEN MORE TERRIBLE WITH THEM, BUT IT WAS DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO ACCUSE THE TEMPLE PEoPLE OF THIS WHEN THEY PRESENTED THEMSELVES AS SUCH CALM AND LOVING PEOPLE MOST OF THE TIME AND WHEn SO MANY OF THEIR "OWN CHILDREN' WERE BECOMING TEMPLE PEOPLE NOW. tHE FAERIE KING WAS BESIDE HIMSELF ABOUT IT, SAYING THEY WERE NOT WRONG IN THEIR FEELINGS BUT HE DID NOT WANT TO SAY ANYTHING MORE AND THE LOCAL PEOPLE DID NOT WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING MORE FOR FEAR IT WOULD BE TOO MUCH FOR THEM.

tHEN ONE NIGHT, THE FAERIE KING CAME TO A LOCAL MAN AND TOLD HIM HE WANTED THE MAN TO GO WIT HIM LATER THAT NIGHT, BUT HE WAS NOT SURE WHERE YET. tHE MAN WAS NOT SURE NOW WHAT THE FAERIE KING WAS SEEING, BUT THE FAERIE KING BESEECHED HIM TO GO HOME AND WAIT FOR HIM. tHE MAN WAITED A LONG TIME FOR THE FAERIE KING, UNTIL WELL AFTER THE MIDNIGHT HOUR, AND STILL,THErE WAS NOTHING. tHE FAERIE KING WAS FLYING AROUND THE AREA LOOKING FOR SOMETHNG; THAT WAS ALL HE KNEW.

tHE FAERIE KING FELT THAT THE LoCAL PEoPLE'S COMPLAINTS HAD CAUSED THE TEMPLE PEOPLE TO MAKE ANOTHER SHIFT IN LOCATION AND HOPED he was not too late. The faerie king found a temple woman out on the moors who had just given birth, but no baby. He flew around nearby, but there was nothing there. He flew farther and father out, making circles, and finaly found a man.

He was just putting the baby down, and rather gently, as though he was eluctant to leave it, rather than throwing it or dashing its head upon the rocks [this is what Nazi men did with babies on mothers' arms, as "mentioned" in Rafael's poem about me in November 1960]. He actually called the faeries then to come for his son. In his compassion for the father not wanting to leave his son this way, the faerie king actually showed himself to this man for a moment there, but he did not touch the baby. The man left, and the faerie king did not hesitate. He flew back to get the Celtic man.

p.203

Urging him to follow as quickly as he could, the faerie king kept flying out ahead and circling back, hoping to protect the baby this way so that nothing would happen to him out on the moors before the man could get there. The man did not like having to go so far out into the moors by himself that late at night, but the faerie king made him feel that he had his protection there and that he must go with him.

He took the man straight to the baby and urged him to take the baby home to his wife. The man did not like the idea, because they already had so much trouble from the temple children and because he already had so many children of his own, but neither could he bring himself to leave the child there. When he brought the child home, complete with all of his complaints, his wife gazed deeply into the child's eyes to get a feeling of him, and when she began to get a feeling of loving him already, she said, "Oh, what's one more?"

The Father of Manifstation was only twelve years old when he begged his parents to let him go and study with the temple people, but he considered himself to be a man. His mother refused to allow this for as long as she could, telling him they were not good people there, but he appeared to not believe her and seemed even more interested in going. When she saw that she could not deter him, she told him he could go, but only when she felt he knew enough and was physically strong enough to protect himself from those people. He did not listen to her about this, either, and one morning, she found that he had taken his things and was gone She cried bitterly when she found he was gone.

The boy did not know why he must go to the temple, but he could not hold himself back anymore. When he reached the temple, which was several hours travel by foot away, he was only another child to them, but he was the minimum age they would take to be taught, and so they let him stay. He was eager to learn to read, which his mother had not let him do at home, because she said the only books were the temple's books, and she did not like what they had to say.

This had infuriated him more than she realized, and when he began to read, he felt like a sponge for the information they gave him there. He soon became one of their more trusted students because of his aptitude and eagerness to learn and soak up their ways, but he also began to feel that his mother might be right in some ways, because he did not feel that some of the things re-

The indigo, 8th RUOW book
[channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1995]
8 INDIGO - The Search for
True Understanding and Balance
Dedicated to
The Four Parts of God in Loving Balance

p. 204

buzzing sound was coming from.

I did not want to lose this Light or this imagery, and felt urgency growing in Me and a feeling that if she did not want to step forward, I wanted to somehow.

This took form as a motion reaching down into Orange and Red then, and a plucking of some of it so quickly and suddenly that I did not know what had happened, or even if it was her who had done it, until I noticed her putting it into the trees near their tops where these colors seemed to magically appear as flowers. I was so surprised and stunned and then delighted with the imagery of what I thought was her offering to the face that I did not feel into it then to see if it felt like She had done this angrily as if to say, "If you so much want to go forward, then here, you do it," or if it was a love offering she felt to make, or was urged by Me to make, or had agreed to, which had inspired the flower forms, or how long she might have contemplated within herself to give birth to these new forms.

The face looking at Us from Blue saw these flowers, but we were not sure if he saw them as an offering, what the meaning of this offering was seen to be by him, or who he saw the offering to be from. Still, in spite of My urgings for the elfin woman to reveal herself, she stayed hidden under the trees and did not step forward and reveal herself. We waited to see what the face was gong to do. I held My breath, so to speak, and presumed she did too, not daring to feel how it would feel if he rejected OUr advances.

This dream was very vivid and real to Me, as if it were a reality progressing, be it ever so slowly, but it was still rather subconscious. When something drew Me more into the enfoldment where I was resting and aware, though still subconsciously, of Myself as more present physically and did not see any real presence of this other reality happening there yet, I tried to return to the dream and look for the elf and the face in blue over and over again while feeling Myself present in the enfoldment and undulating warmth at the same time.

As the dream progressed, I noticed more and more that whatever was distracting the face in Blue was a sound I found to be the same as the unpleasant buzzing sound coming in on Me in My enfoldment within the encampment, and was distracting his attention as it was Mine, but seemed more attractive to him than it was to Me and more annoying to Me than it seemed to be to him. I wondered and feared what his attraction to this might be, and how We could be so attracted to him if he was so attracted away

p. 205

from Us to something that seemed so unpleasant to Me.

I feared what this meant, but did not know how to, nor dare to, ask. I wondered if he might make it clear, or if it might make itself clear in time, and so We waited and looked and hoped for something to unfold that would bring Us to someplace other than where we seemed to be stuck. I began to fear that this energy behind the face was more of the reason the elf had been holding back, and that I had not been paying enough attention to these sounds, or had the impression they were penetrating from the other place into this dream. I did not know then where these sounds were really coming from. They were very disorienting, but I wanted to press ahead anyway out of the urgency I felt in response to the buzz, or because I didn't want the buzz to have the power to disrupt the pleasantness I was finally finding, or because of a growing agitation that it would not respond to Us or come within the folds of pleasantness I had found. I was confused and frightened and feared I should not have urged the elf who was closer to and who might have known or seen more than I did about those buzzing, snapping noises.

I felt a growing tension and impatience all around and heard something behind the blue face angrily scream, "Alright already! Let's get on with it! Where's it going to go from here? What's going to happen next?"

I was much too frightened of this anger to know how to move, and felt myself, then, very unpleasantly and unfairly pressured by this, and felt it was all too ready to override Me and not allow Me to unfold at My own speed and in My own way.

I began to notice this buzzing sound more and more, or else it was increasing, or both. I did not like it, and I did not like it that I could not escape it. I did not know what reality was what there either (sic). The buzzing was intruding into Our encampment and into this other experience and disturbing the peace of both places. The feeling of anxiety, fear, uncertainty and not knowing how to move was there, as well as a number of other aspects.

When Our Father left Us, I realized I had not shared the dream with Him to know if He had also been having the same dream and had gone to find out the truth of it. I did not know if it was information gathering, if He had lost interest in Us and had abandoned Us, or whether He had gone for other reasons having to do with whatever was going on behind the face in Blue or the buzzing sound or simply in response to His images of light, phallus-like to Him, snake-like lightening about to strike Me. I did

p. 204

corded in their books were right, and he began to ask questions and point these things out to them.

Some did not like his questions [Sept. 22, 2012- Here I added a "summary" about my own experience with "not having been received by many of my teachers". Yet when I had completed it, I felt that I had relapsed into my victimhood and of wanting people to pity me. "I should delete this passage", I felt, but I couldn't do it. So what happened? after the next few sentences, copied from the book, the entire program of "DreamWeaver", which allows me to create this website, closed itself! And though I usually click "save" after every few sentences, this whining passage was NOT saved!,] but when he became older, some allowed him to read their older and rarer books that had been brought from Delphi, and he began to have feelings, not only that he knew what was in these books, but that he had actually written them. He had already learned about reincarnation and began to consider that he might be the reincarnated author of these books. He began to do his own writings and more and more was given "favored student" positions such as were given to other temple children, but he did not know why. No one had ever told him about the circumstances of his own birth.

His [biological] father was not there anymore, but his mother was, and since she had never gotten over abandoning him in that way and wondered everyday if he was safe or not, she began to think that this might be her son, since he was the right age and even knew his birth date, which corresponded with her recollection. She did not tell him why, but she began to befriend him and become his ally in the temple. When he told her of his feelings about the books, she did not think he was wrong there, but when he asked her to tell him everything she could about the trip they had made here, she could not tell him much.

She was a temple child herself and had not made the journey. All she was able to tell him was what she had been told by his father, which was not much. She told him that, for some reason, they were not allowed to talk about this and were forbidden to write it down. She said that the temple people preferred to say they were from the stars, but she finally gave in, and without telling him it was his father who told her, told him what she knew. The tale was fascinating to him, and he asked her to tell it to him over and over.

Meanwhile, the Celtic people were becoming more and more worried that the "bad light" there, as they called it now, was drawing something to them that they did not want. They were fearing already, hearing tales of the Romans' advance trhough Gaul. The grapevine was good then, and it did not take long for them to hear tales that were woefully disturbing to them. The temple people did not respond with worry. They said they felt protected there and did not think the Romans would be able to get to them, even if they did come into the surrounding area.

The local people feared this might not be true for long, especially if the faerie king withdrew his protection by moving to another place, as he had been threatening to do. by now, the temple

p. 205

people knew about the faeris because they had been raised with them and considered them to be their friends and allies since they had played with them along with the other Celtic children, but taking them for granted was not the right thing to do here, as many of the temple people were doing more than they realized, because they had begun to feel that there was no problem too great for the faeries not to be able to protect them.

If they had the protection of the faeries, as they believed they did, having grown up with them, then the faeries, like their parents, accepted them, and everything they did unconditonally, because to them, that was what love was. They did not understand how feelings fit in that were not within their own definition of love and judged against them according to their imprinting,[???????] even though they had been raised differently. To the Celtic and Druid people who had raised them, having love reciprocated meant not wanting to do things that did not feel good to the others involved was part of the definition of love, but to these children, that was g u i l t . They did not understand the reciprocity of love and focused only on how others needed to love them.

The Druids felt angry and did not come near them much anymore. They thought the temple people should be made to leave and did not have as much guilt as the Celts did there. They felt somewhat displaced as the spirtual guidance and the most learned people in the area.

The Celts did not want to be unloving or unfairly accusatory, and now it was made so much more complicated for them by having so many of their "own children" in the temple, and even some who had stayed with them and intermarried, still having some temple viewpoint, but what the Celts had stirring was making them fear that they were getting rolled over by something they did not like and that it was only going to get worse if they did not find some way to stop it or at least appease it. They felt they had no place to run this time. They did not think it could be stopped and did not know if it could even be appeased. They feared that human sacrifice was the only thing that might appease this, or a much greater sacrifice of human life was going to take place than what they were going to do.
[I'm strongly reminded of those German women and men, who had the same kind of feelings before 1933, and it pains me, that the present generation of Israelis never acknowledges or even wants to learn about the fact, that tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of Germans suffered in agony or even sacrificed themselves physically!]

Many of them feared this, and many of them offered to sacrifice themselves if it would help the community as a whole, but all hated the idea of having to do this, and they had temple children there telling them there was no problem and that they should continue to look to the faeries for protection if they felt they need it.

The indigo, 8th RUOW book
[channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1995]
8 INDIGO - The Search for
True Understanding and Balance
Dedicated to
The Four Parts of God in Loving Balance

Continuation of the two books in DesertPeaceProcess>The Road