The Purpose  of   HEALING - K.I.S.S. - as stated 12 years ago - was and is   to help me and my potential P E E R s  "to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness, and - by extension - all of CREATion!"

Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013 and Overview of its main libraries [If you look for a word on this page, click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]

I focus my experiencing and awareness on being "a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel": I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb' pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness, so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve, and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!! "I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7		"AZ NIDBERU" - My new Midrash and song in 5 languages about the prophecy of Malachi 3, 16 ["YHWH" is named "HA-SHEM"= The Name]
1 2 3	How Learn And	I The Train	Heal Conditions In	Myself For Creating	Into Heaven Those	Whole On Conditions	Self-acceptance Earth Daily	Click!	Then those who see Ha-Shem, will talk among each other, and he listens      and he hears yatakaalamuna     allathina     yarau'na-hu , va-yusri        va-yasma' Dann die IHN schauen, werden reden miteinander, und er lauscht      und er hoert Puis ceux qu'ils voient Ha-Shem, se parlent l'un a l'autre il entends,        il ecoute

It seems that I chose 26 actors for my life's drama and those 26 actors chose me! One common trait of all roles is "mutual dependency" between them and me.
With 16 actors - my family - the mutual dependency is life-long! With my landlords at Arad & with my 6 starchildren, born between 1986-88, it may be temporary.
My children: Immanuel, Ronnit, Micha; my children-in-love: Efrat, Uri, Ra'ayah; my 10 grandchildren [born 1987-2005): Elah-Alon-Tomer-Mika; Jonathan-Rotem-Yael-Itamar; Arnon-Ayelet
My landlords: Ofir & Meital+ Lior (2002) & Amit (2005). My starchildren: Lior Oren, Zipi Winkler , Dina Strat , Meshi Taib, Gal Mor, Boris Arons [26=YHWH=13+13=ahavah+ahavah =LOVE!]

The FOCUS of MY INTENTION TODAY

Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want, then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what may
8:29
I desire to explore a specific "plonter", as we say in Hebrew, which is still there though in nano-size:
when Mika is "non-cooperative" (Is this term free of blaming epithets which would signify victimhood on my part?),
I tend to imagine E's judgment, that I'm a bad grandma, while E., when witnessing it, tends to defend M. as if I had blamed Efrat.
I desire to radiate lightness & ease on Efrat, who in these 2 stressful days (newspaper deadline), is driven to take control also of unnecessary tasks: I would manage to go to physiotherapy on my own, without her needing to drive me to and fro;
The cleaning tonight could be postponed or done by me: "No! Get off my back!I need control over the cleanliness of my house!"
I desire Efrat to cooperate with I. instead of feeling victim: "he allows me to employ the cleaner only twice a month".
She and I watched Alon Gal in "Mishpakhah Khoreget" coaching a couple in financial despair: "first of all you must cooperate!"

Cooperation and non-cooperation:
She actually came to sit in my lap
for a minute,
but back home
we couldn't make playing together
work...

hodayot [thanksgivings] for today

9:29
My Body, my Partner, my God
I'm still learning the sophisticated structure and functioning of our injured leg
and today I give thanks for the lateral collateral ligament (LCL)
which connects our femur to our tibia along the outside of our knee.
It keeps the outer part of our knee stable & helps control
the sideways motion of our knee - like keeping it from bending outward.
I give thanks to the anterior cruciate ligament (ACL)
which connects our femur to our tibia at the center of the knee
and helps control forward motion and rotation,
like keeping our shinbone [tibia] from sliding out in front of our thighbone [femur].
I give thanks to the posterior cruciate ligament (PCL)
which connects our femur to our tibia at the back of the knee
and helps control the knee's backward motion,
like keeping the shinbone from sliding out under the thighbone.

I am very grate-full , that the 3 1/2 days with my son among his family
were relatively harmonious (though tenderness from the wife's side was missing),
and that my presence did never cause any friction,
and may have had a soothing and perhaps healing impact .
I'm grate-full, that no claustrophobic feelings were haunting me,
not even during the uncomfortable situation with M. in my room in E's presence,
but that I truly could flow with life - between being available & being al-one.

last communication next communication
see in

"and walking humbly with your God" [ Micah 6:8]

7:12
It is early and i'm sitting here with you in my night-gown
thanks to the warm temperature (good for us, bad for the adamah)
I don't want to loose my thoughts but share them with you rightaway.

I woke up with 'murky" feelings , about nothing specific, just like that.
And remembered that fantastic sentence of yours:
"you'll be troubled, but it will not trouble you that you are troubled".
And immediately I'm "in sync"' ,
i.e. whole with my soul and connected with you!
It is fantastic how the patterned feelings of
"this or that wasn't right", "for this or that they are judging me",
fall away, and NOT becaused I've hardened my heart,
but because I'm free of righteousness
and free also of worrying for others, for the world,
- 'free of identifying with others' and suffering for longer than a moment.
I do feel, but I don't stick to it!

See song on April 2

I transform my pain which stems from identifying with them
into trust and radiation of wombing and love.
Yesterday I couldn't make Mika play with me in a cooperative way,
the situation - her mother having to work on the computer in the same room - was either the reason for this non-cooperation or made it worse.
I felt scared, that I was watched and judged
and that E. would soon interfere if I wasn't doing "right",
meaning either, that I wasn't entertaining Mika as she would entertain her,
or that I wasn't "assertive" enough, or too assertive.
I think, in some way both Mika and Grandma felt paralyzed ---
Efrat is not to be blamed, because she controlled herself and didn't interfere. But it was good for me to discern and feel these diverse feelings:
- my powerlessness to change anything
- my being hurt by Mika's unfriendliness
- my missing the intensity of "doing".

It was then, that I talked to you:
"Don't you think, it is a waste of enormous talents,
that I spend so much time with a small child,
and this, though she doesn't really need me,
for she is in a wonderful kindergarden,
and in this respect - caring & playing - has the most gifted, dedicated mother .
You said:

"First of all: your talents are not wasted.
As you read in"Seth" recently:
your talents are put to use elsewhere, nothing is ever wasted.

"Second: Your main talent is put to use
intensely, constantly, continuously and awarely:
the talent to feel all there is to feel and to evolve feelings in a way,
that you have become a pioneer of humankind
in understanding the conditions of heavon on earth:
to feel zest-full and full-filled all the time
and when a cloud comes or even some hail,
you just enjoy the feeling and- very important
- you let Body do work via any of its thousands possibilities."


Yes this is what i understood again this morning:
The very experiencing of my feelings is the creative act,
and so is the movement in Body,
but I so often imagine , that if I wouldn't have K.i.s.s.-log
as a basis for creativity and deepening my life,
I would soon be unable to enjoy that breath-to breath experiencing!
And this scares me.
Am I, are we all dependent after all on some exterior creating?

[AAnswer on December 12, when I edited and "completed" this page]

"Oh my funny co-worker: Let's assume "we all are dependent!"
Is it not you who was able to create your present reality?
this exterior time-space frame-work for creating and healing:
Computer and Internet in both your homes?
your website Healing-K.is.s. and your diary K.is.s.-Log accessable in both?
What is your judgment concerning being dependent?
And if your Higher Self should once choose a different exterior reality,
don't you trust that you'll always find a way to create?
Remember our communication and the pun I inspired you with, on Dec. 2:

"When in Prison,
be in Present
let your Presence heal!"

Your daughter-in-love said in pain (on Dec. 10):
"I envy your life, so balanced between acting and contemplating!"
And you know, that this is your life,
because YOU choose it to be like that
NOW !"

Yes! Thank you for replanting TRUST in me!

 

Finetuning to my Present

"Was klagst du ueber Feinde,
koennten die je werden Freunde,
denen dein Wesen, wie du bist,
im Stillen ein ewiger Vorwurf ist."
translation :"It is useless to complain against enemies,
for they can never be your friends, if your whole being is a standard reproach to them"

I suddenly remembered this old wisdom of Goethe,
but this time in a reversed way:
how come, that my daughter-in-love, who must feel "reproached" by some aspects of my very being,
like - in the present situation - by my way of handling money and contrasting Western Consumerism,
can live with me, while my daughter (though not for this reason) can not?
This speaks in favor of both of us, my daughter-in-love and me.
Since her life's script seems to contain: "dependency on Christa-Rachel",
she is forced to draw out her hidden strength of facing herself by facing me!
My life's script contains: walking humbly with your God,
i.e. utilizing my enormous talents and my great greatness
for healing the nitty-gritty of daily denials between people,
and of the constant frustration with themselves and with their lives,
and to do so by living a daily life, a moment to moment interaction
with my youngest grandchild and my daughter-in-love

Efrat had asked me to spend time with Mika on a Shoham playground,
[the scarce playgrounds at Bet Nehemya are dirty and dreary...]
so she could work for a while and wouldn't have to return to the office at night.
At 16:20 she came home (a third time today...), cut fruits for Mika etc.
and together we drove to the kindergarden to fetch Mika, and then to my choice:
the playground next to the municipality, where we had been only rarely
(once with the "Quintet", April 19). It was too far from Mika's former house.

Mika heads right to the installments for older children and even manages...

But on a climbing device for kids she isn't careful and falls and hits her chin.
I sing the line "but the chin is still searching for a friend" (see "Song" below),
and while she relaxed on a bench, she watched a child climbing on that device.
"Why is he playing scarecrow?" "He isn't! He only balances his arms."

In order to explain the term "balance",
I stretched out my arms, hands upward.
"Image an apple in this hand and an apple in the other hand:
the scales are even!
Now image a water-melon in one hand... the scale will tip" etc.
She was fascinated and proposed,
that we now play "water-melon" (grandma) and "apple" (Mika).
Since we were munching pieces of fruits,
"Water-melon" now had to tell "Apple": "please, feed me an apple"...

I don't know, why she soon changed the role of the "Water-melon"
into that of another "Apple",
but for the rest of our time - more than an hour -
we had to stick to our roles as apples, which meant
to not fail in using the masculine form of a verb,
in whatever context a verb needed to be used...

For instance , when she instructed me how to let her swing "alone",
not too slow, not too fast, she exclaimed:
"I am not afraid, I am not afraid", using the masculine form,
since she was still an apple, playing with me, another apple.

Nairobi, Kenya, Africa Dec. 1, 2008
"My daughter Mili took these photographs from her SONY Handy-Cam 800x, of what she calls -" a Smiley Moon".
Shashank Rawal, ( From Spaceweather's Great Conjuction PHoto Gallery)-

While on the playground we saw the moon,
and I lifted Mika to also discern Venus between the branches of two trees,
"but where is Jupiter (tzaedek in the Hebrew Bible)? " she asked.
"It must have already gone down! Know, that moon and stars set like the sun!"

Still in her pyjama Mika begins to learn from Levi's dances, his gift to us on Dec. 4.

Children Dances --Levi Bar-Gil:(DVD No. 75 www.rokdim.co.il)

One of the first songs "A Huge Family" she knows well from another DVD

To demonstrate, what difficulties I have with simple technical things like watching a DVD on the computer, I'll remind myself of these instructions: I cannot copy DVD-contents to the computer. At the Bet-Nehemya-computer I must insert the disc in the upper drive, then right-click the folder 75-dvd(G:). to exit the screen, I must click "Esc" , which minimizes the screen, then I click X in the upper right corner, to exit the folder altogether). I cannot photograph by "PrintScreen" on the computer, but must use the ordinary Cassio-camera)

 

Levi Bar-Gil teaches the steps of the children songs,
created by him, his wife Ayelet and a woman whom I don't know,
and then he dances with kids and parents

Standup comedies about "Big Brother" people, discovered by Efrat.
See little Mika behind Efrat's back

An excellent actress,
who plays Ranin in a parody,
which is partly gloriously funny
"Ranin! Big Brother wants to know
what happens in The House,"
"Ranin" mixes Arabic, Hebrew, English, Yiddish
"Oh, Big Brother, it's a fucking disaster,
I can't take it anymore,
the war between the Ashkenazis and the Orientals aggravates! they divided The House: --- all the Ashkenazis on one side
and all the Sephardis on the other side. "
"On what side are you, 'Ranin'?"
"How should I know? Where am I?
Big Brother, I can't even decide,
in which language to talk!"

"Caution! Keep away from her - the stinging bee"

audio with Lior Farchi and Subliminal
Yossi' Bublil's humming of Subliminal's song
[by which he warned one of the boys
who felt attracted by one of the girls in the House)
made the stinging bee song the No.1 hit in Israel

For the first time at Hevel-Park since July 31.
Before going to Immanuel's place in the centre of the huge lawn-spread hill,
I want Mika to sit once more at the foot of the "friendship" tree..
friendship between Shoham and the Arab village Tur'aan in the Galilee..

Mika plays alone, in my room, - her mother sits at "my" computer and what is MY task?

After a while Imma takes over, plays theater with her daughter,
and later sings with her to "youtube" videos on Immanuel's computer,
while he - for hours - prepares a huge amount of vegetable soup
and bakes his own wonderful bread
"so you'll have something to eat, when I'm away".
I dare to say: "Are you baking yourself because you think it's cheaper?
It's NOT, you know!"
"If you would eat subsidized bread, it would be cheaper,
but the bread that is bought for this house is not."
Anyway, I know, that for Immanuel cooking and baking is therapy,
and his way "to get away from it all".
And by then he didn't know, (I'm writing this two days later),
what renewed struggle would await him at Atlanta in Georgia, USA:
instead of focusing on his daily strenous hours on the flight simulator,
he is "busy" with his cellphone in Israel for hours on end.
It is hard for me to see people in the world suffer.
It is harder to see those around me suffer.
It is the hardest to see my child suffer,
suffer without end....

All my life it has been much harder for me to see others suffer
than suffer myself, even though my life wasn't "a rose-garden".
When I had burnt my fingers at that lamp above the organ
- in that church where I used to practice daily on my way home
(7:00 running 10 min. to the tram. School from 7:45 till 13:30,
homework alone in some classroom, walking to one or two pupils,
whom I helped with Latin or Greek, walking half an hour to the organ,
practising for 1 hour, walking home for 15 min, teaching my brother etc.)
my first "rational" thought was: 'How glad I am, that it happened to ME!"