focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution in
learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!! "I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
pp13 Feel All There Is to Feel
2001_09_06 ; last update: 2006_01_03; new
entries below: 2010 yet another update on 2008_01_10: I came across this
page a day after the coincidence
with Diana's sharing about "Emotions have to be moved" and Victor's
e-mail with the link to the
Hebrew Site about Right Use of Will.
The entry of 2006 is the answer to Diana, and , of course, a valuable reminder
January 2, 2006, I came "by chance" across
this passage in "Right Use of Will"
and realized that it demonstrates the most practical way
of integrating Will-Body-Spirit or Feeling-Body-Consciousness!
"Now I want
to explain what I mean by emotional release.
When you have an emotion such as grief or fear come up [Rachel: or any vibration of discontent
or uneasiness with yourself] you need to feel it in your
Body until your Body
urges you to express it in some way. Then express in the way your
Body is urging you to do.
Express in this way until you feel no further need to do it.
Surrender to the expression while it is happening
and let it take its course freely.
Be in as much a state of openness and acceptance as possible.
Let the emotional release show you what it has to teach.
Pay attention to everything
that comes into your consciousness at this time. Let everything that happens find acceptance
with you instead of denial.
Release any judgments that surface and seem ready to go.
When the release subsides, rest and remain open.
IF more emotion surfaces, release it as your
you will receive from doing this
are not anything I can put in a book.
You will find that your emotions
have so much to teach you that you did not realize previously
that you will soon find yourself wanting your emotions
to release their old charge
so that you can remember your past, learn
and feel free
Your Body is going to soon realize how much better it feels
when it no longer has to hold old charge.
... I may speak to you and tell you how to do it
or I may send you an experience to
... This is why I am now sending this book to Earth.
Even though many people do not at present want to hear from Me
and would prefer to face their own reflection without knowing it,
some want My help.
A strange technical occurrence:
The left frame
[=quotes from Godchannel.com
or from the 8 books of "Right
Use of Will"]
from the local (working) site
of this puzzle piece,
though it is still listed in the pp folder as a separate file.
The only way I can correct this now
and at least save the text,
is to establish a double table:
puzzle piece 13 Feel All There Is to Feel
p.237 "You have to allow yourself
what you feel
what you think,
if you want
to throw the balance
where it needs to be
with any kind of speed
there is no desire
and without desire
Vibration is life
and so it follows
that you must have
desire to have life."
p. VIII "I have been impelled
Right Use Of Will
to Earth at this time because
the beings there have not been expressing
vibrate their space
and hold it open
for themselves. "
beings on Earth
have been experiencing
as seeming to close in on them, and their power
as seeming to be insufficient
to meet the situation
facing Earth now."
" You need
it's not true; denial of the Will
has made it that way.
You must now start
reversing the situation."
"Guilt is a problem
because it makes the feeling much harder to feel,
and this is the main reason
most people have tried to get away from their feelings.
hold the guilt in place.
Rather than try
to ignore the feelings,
it's much better to find the judgments
and release them,
so the guilt can leave,
and the grief can be fully felt.
have no judgments against yourself, the grief can well up
and flow through you. Grief that is free of guilt
is a beautiful, deep feeling, very much like love.
And as the grief
space opens for joy.
Erect the shrine if it feels right,
and allow it to remind you
of your grief, and your love."
quote is about
how "God" felt the first feeling
- FEAR -
but, since he didn't understand it,
- he just felt that he didn't want this-
he cast it out - the first denial
"THE FIRST CREATION"
I had always been,
I had existence
took a long time.
"There was a point
in My progression
when I became aware
that I had existence.
When I became aware of Myself,
I already knew many things
but I had to realize them.
had to feel also
or it could not know.
In fact, a feeling
of having consciousness
is the way in which I realized
I had consciousness.
There were no words at first, only a feeling
that I had existence.
I had desire to know more.
although I did not know it,
I had ...[fear] that did not believe
I could know more.
had given birth to fear
and did not know it
because I had no understanding.
then became Lost
because I did not realize
that I had to allow Myself
to feel it.
"I had a
desire not to believe
that I could know nothing more about Myself
and so I ignored the fear.
"I did not know then
that I was love,
and I did not realize
I had given unlovingness
in the form
of denial of My love
to My fear.
"I had had
and I pondered it.
I had a beginning concept
of progression or time,
although no way to measure it. I realized
that I had pondered this
"not feeling good"
someplace in Myself
for a while.
p.III "I want to introduce you
now to some feelings you have not known before,
no matter what your impressions are of Heaven...
are feelings of joy
that do not have to deny anything in order to be joyful,
feelings of joy
that have no undercurrent feelings
of being only an intermission
in an ongoing war and joy
that need not hold back
because of what tomorrow may bring.
"To have these feelings,
you must be free of denials.
The more you have limited
the expression of some emotions,
the more the capacity
to experience and express
all of the other emotions
is also affected.
you are not fully conscious.
If you have denial,
you have guilt
because you are not allowing
your true vibration.
part [of me, Spirit]
began to be drawn
into the smooth, rhythmic wiggling
of the magnetic essence.
I found her movements pleasing then,
and I felt for the first time
in my existence ~
to focus on the pleasant new feelings,
so I disregarded
my curiosity and suspicions
and paid attention to the JOY
that was becoming
the foundation of my heart.
presence of the Mother
I was experiencing love,
but I didn't know
that's what it was at the time.
It was different than
what I'd felt
in my earlier inner reveries.
Whatever it was,
I knew I liked it,
and I wanted more.
and with it came the feeling
that I must detach
from this thing,
or I wouldn't be able
to learn more about it.
I did detach and study
the magnetic essence again,
and that's when I knew
that I wanted to use it
to help me understand myself better.
I noticed its reflective nature
and I wanted it to show me what I looked liked.
"In my detached,
away from the magnetic essence
I could study it,
and make judgments about it.
I came into contact with it,
I came under its spell,
I lost my sense of being myself. Although I felt enraptured by
the closeness, love and joy,
a part of me felt somehow confined and enclosed.
if I wanted
to use this thing as a mirror,
I'd have to get close enough
to see myself,
and yet stay separate enough
to avoid being caught up in its energy.
an engineer then,
adding to my already budding talents as scientist..."
did not know then
I was love,
and I did not realize
I had given unlovingness
- in the form of
denial of My love
to My fear."
the intellect has failed in everything
and the feeling is buried underneath its ruins
God is too remote - there - abooooooove
And I , in God's big plot of miiiine,
almost loose my mind
on the way to a neeeew renaissance.
I came across Tamir's song about 7 PM, just half an hour
before he sent me an SMS: Hilah and I are in the delivery
He desired, that their son would be born during the New Moon
and so desired I. The prayer was heard, the son was born today
Maryam, 2001/09/10; last update:
Fine-tuning in "Feeling Totally":
My individual (!) outer reality is
I'm also improving my skill to enjoy, to be happy.
I have thus created the space for feeling
lines, said by the "TOR",
the Fool who started to Feel and live,
when "TOD" (Death) took him away:
Dann schwinde alles blasse Leben hin.
Erst, da ich sterbe, spuer ich, dass ich bin.
Wenn einer traeumt, so kann ein Uebermass
Getraeumten Fuehlens ihn erwachen machen,
So wach ich jetzt, im Fuehlensuebermass,
Vom Lebenstraum wohl auf im Todeswachen. Er sinkt tot
zu den Fuessen des Todes nieder.
Here is my attempt to translate
all colorless life fades.
Only in dying I feel that I am.
When someone dreams,
the excess of dreamt feelings
might awaken him.
That's how I now, since feelings abound
in the waking death,
wake up from a life only dreamt. He collapses dead at
the feet of Death.
"My education and training
had led me to believe
that emotions were complicated events
that needed to be analyzed and scrutinized
in order to be understood.
I believed it necessary
to expend considerable time and energy
processing emotional experiences
to ascertain their origins, their influence, and their meaning.
All of this changed for me in 1986
when I read a book called The
Right Use of Will.
The book had a message that resonated deeply for me.
The message was this:
emotions dont need to be analyzed or processed
if their energy is allowed to move freely in the body.
This alone would be sufficient for insight to be gained.
And I have found this to be so.
When I simply breathe
and allow emotional energy
to move freely in my body,
without ascribing meaning to what I am experiencing,
whatever insight is needed
to integrate the experience into my life
is revealed automatically.
Ive found that its much easier to explore emotional
when I dont get bogged down in endless processing and psychologizing.."
This "TOO MUCH", which closes
in on me more and more,
restarted with an urge to follow the "24
Stunden um die Welt",
yesterday's program of the "3 SAT" television channel
with videos [interactive on the Internet]
about 120 places from among the 700,
declared as "Cultural Heritage of Humankind" by the UNESCO.
Contrary to my creative skills, which can keep me going up to 12 hours
my receptivity, the ability to take in, to respond to stimulations,
is limited to two.
In this case I forced myself to take in as much as time and vigilance
for almost every video or in-between discussion were of extreme interest
But too many emotions drowned me, too much thinking pushed me,
too many ideas, of how to sculpt information-feelings-thinking into
exacerbated my frustration concerning all the sculptures I've not
And to add guilt to the pressure and
the frustration: Tomer
wanted to come for some hours and I agreed,
but I could hardly conceal my lack of enthusiasm.
"I need to work", said the slave driver in me.
Oh, the shame about pain, that has
Who can possibly understand, leave alone justify my predicament?
How can I not judge myself?
The State of Israel
after 55 years of existence:
6.7 million people,
i.e. 8 times more than
when the state was founded
81% are Jews,
who are 38% of World Jewry.
Since 1948 immigrated to Israel
about 3 million Jews.
During the last year more than
140 000 babies were born.
[81% = 5 427 000 Jews
= less than the 6 millions murdered
by the nation into which I was born.]
The Day of
Independence - the official ceremony in Jerusalem - on my television:
320 young people from my dancing town Modi'in moved into a Menorah-candelabrum
Later they moved into two hearts
is this puzzle piece so miserable?
It should be the center piece of this site!
After 26 years of "owning" the information,
that I should feel and accept my feelings,
I see myself still fighting them ever so often.
shouldn't feel this!"
"Why didn't I avoid this situation,
so I wouldn't have to feel so bad!"
"Why do I keep torturing myself
with unnecessary suffering."
The only thing I can do,
when watching this constant nagging,
is to accept myself doing this nagging..
But I also want to remind myself ,
that "to feel all there is to feel",
means to make a conscious effort,
to feel the feelings I'm grateful for.
Like - if I get a complement,
I pass over it within a second.
If I get blamed or humiliated,
I dwell on it for days & years.
As every year 12 candles were
lit by 12 representatives of the nation.
I was most impressed by this candle:
not one , but two soldiers, who serve in the Border-Guard,
a Jewish girl
who immigrated only 4 months ago from Morokko, without her
and a Druse boy from Sajour in Western Galilee,
whose brother was recently killed in a terror attack.
This could have been my granddaughter
who also was among the 320 dancers from Modi'in
I'm very aware of the feeling
of not wanting to exist,
which "attacks" me often.
But I am rarely aware of the feeling of "Yes, at this moment I do want
The reason for having opened
this page right now,
- while still focused on the Tomer
is an "insight" , which I want to catch before
it's gone. (I laugh at what I feel coming
to me as "insights",
because I mostly had had them before and forgot)
All the time I preach to
myself and others,
that feelings have to be felt,
because DENIAL of feelings
is the cause of all misery on earth,
and I can prove that eloquently.
But now I remember a line in the "Blue
which I've started to copy and edit on this site:
"Right Use of Will offers ....to recover
the powers of the Will .... an opportunity ...of
enjoying life to its fullest".
- it's so banale, I'm ashamed to call it an insight -
it's not only for saving myself and humankind from misery,
that stopping denial is asked for,
but in order to enjoy life to its fullest.
Enjoying life doesn't mean, that the feelings have to be"good".
I KNOW, that I can enjoy almost all feelings,
for the very reason, that they are feelings,
which means I am vibrating and therefore living.
Which means, that instead of judging
for creating bad feelings (mainly three:
"I should work and complete what I've started!"'
"I shouldn't have said or written this or that, or I shouldn't
have talked so much,"
and: "I don't want to exist".)
I want to be GRATE-FULL
for all these OPPORTUNITIES TO FEEL.
Also when I've done something,
which causes a turmoil (Ruth's letter)
for others and for myself,
instead of blaming myself, I should be grateful for this great chance
even if it's anger and fear, guilt and shame.
I'm watchful right now.
I let myself feel, that I enjoyed my breakfast,
Ra'ayah's bread and butter, Ronnit's fantastic jam,
I also felt the pressure of setting out for my daily
going to the pool, and choosing to take the
path of my Hill,
both back and forth, which is becoming ever
I want to do both, pool and path,
but neither do I want to leave my home and my home-page, [especially since I have an intuition
or a fear~~~,
that the "time of gestation" might come to an end,
and that in some months I may be "on the move" again.]
so I feel my ambivalence of taking this break at all,
and also the ambivalence of taking it now or later.
then came a phonecall from my landlord, on this day of Israel's Independence
and Palestine's Naqba, that my check for the rent had come
for no reason I can imagine.
I said:"Uff!"feeling a strong resistance to
a) having to deal with something so unnecessary,
like going to my local postal bank,
standing in line
which will "waste my time",
b) having to feel, that I have to deal with
while I do everything to be free of "hassles".
So now you can apply your insight,
I'll do so, while going for path, pool and path.
83 minutes later, path, pool, path, thorns in my
sandals & clothes
a bunch of flowers and a big bunch of feelings.
Meeting the crowds in the pool I felt punished:
"What do I expect, arriving at 11 on this day!"
Now comes the choice:
Should I feel the suffering of the crowds?
Or should I get away from the situation?
I chose the latter, by choosing the outdoor pool.
I jumped head-on into the cold water, but alas:
there was a new reason for "suffering":
The lifeguard listened to a "stupid" radio program.
On request he reduced the volume, but it didn't help.
Noise at the wrong time and place is torture for me.
Did I again have the choice between feeling what IS
and getting out of the situation that forces me to feel?
Not really. Even swimming mostly under
water, when on my belly, or with cap-covered ears under
water, when on my back,
making vigorous, splashing movements to drown the noise,
did not let me get away completely from the torture.
I tried to feel it, to breathe it, to accept it, I couldn't.
So what about "enjoying life to its fullest?"
At the end of unbearable situations/feelings (shame on me calling such
ridiculous torment "unbearable")
there is only one savior: "getting used to it".
The magnetic Divine Feminine force expresses itself through
emotions and through the physical plane.
intense now because great healing is underway.
are ending lifelong relationships,
leaving projects that they have faithfully given their all
experiencing death of loved ones,
and facing uncertain futures.
They may be feeling great fear and trepidation
about politics, health, and the future of earth.
from childhood are coming up to be healed in everyone.
There are feelings that need to be healed now.
This is necessary for the transformation of consciousness
in the physical body.
into these feelings, sometimes memories surface that feel
They have so much pain associated with them
that the programmed instinctual reflex is to do everything
to avoid feeling them.
It feels like life itself is at stake...This is a true panic
experienced panic and these feelings are surfacing now to
Emotions heal through flowing.
Use eye movement to
relive the tragic event, if you can remember it.
Relive the memory over and over until all the feelings associated
with it have time to flow.
If you cannot remember anything, but just have the feelings,
flow with them using eye
movement and deep breathing.
times when overwhelming feelings are coming up to be healed.
Deep rythmic breathing is the foundation of holotropic breath
Just as a woman breathes while giving birth, keep breathing
when panic feelings come up.
"now will I cry like a
travailing woman, gasping and panting at once" Isaiah
addition to deep breathing, use eye movement
and stay focused on the feelings for as long
as it takes for good feelings to return.
Usually this happens quickly.
when panic attacks happen~~~
the old paradigm of shutting DOWN the feelings IMMEDIATELY
This has been
through medication, alcohol, diversion, disassociation,
denial, magic, hypnosis, etc.
habit and STAY WITH THE PANIC.
passes in SECONDS~~~
BREATHE and use EYE MOVEMENT,
and use every bit of will power and mastery
to stay with the feelings
and to FEEL THE FEELINGS through.
Conscious flowing is how feelings heal.
This is important,
everything depends on GETTING THROUGH THE FEELING
and NOT AROUND IT.
Flowing is how EMOTIONS heal,
denial just makes them unconscious
and the body stores them as tension and stress in the musculature.
Use eye movement and deep
instead of giving into disassociation
or destructive acting out.
It is wonderful
when panic comes up.
By healing these emotions, the Divine Feminine Force is
By healing the emotions of the dark dark wounding, the body
It is like having an emotional bowel movement.
Whether it is fear, anger, hopelessness, suffocation, betrayal,
this is the healing process at work.
The next time
feelings become unbearable,
stay with the feelings
no matter how painful they are,
use eye movement and keep
The feelings heal so fast it is amazing.
I've been reading this message now,
after I had re-immersed myself in learning about
What is not mentioned in the Angelic Message, is my MAIN FEELING: Pressure,
when I "believe" that something is expected from me.
It was this feeling which caused my near-sighted-ness in the first
And now, that I want to heal my eyes, because that's what they deserve,
I wonder, how I can heal a life-time of such pressure.
Right now I believe, that only by limiting "the situations
can I free myself, and not so much by "feeling all I feel".
When expectations from others cause
I'm giving my own eyes more loving attention.
What I'm grasping lately, by watching friends like Irene and Yaacov,
is how megalomanic I have always been in playing the super-woman.
And I am not talking about my super-human "projects" like
I'm talking about ever so many "small" and daily assignments,
just like what I did the last weekend.
If I would have been in my own flat with the five grandkids,
it would not have been difficult for me, the super-grandma.
But there were grownups around and there was a schedule,
and in the background a seething volcano in someone's soul,
which had nothing to do with the Quintet Grandma-Shabbat.
I'm teaching my friends
inserted above all 2008 "Communications with Deity";
"and walking humbly with your God"[
but what about myself?
Only twice I remember myself having said to someone:
"This is too difficult for me to do! You must do it alone!" (I could tell the story with Ram Eisenberg in
Succah in the Desert...)
(or about how I cancelled the invitation of 3 grandkids to Eilat...)
My children and grandchildren never ever heard this!
I'm always there, always available,
yes, taking upon myself more than anybody demands!
And then I'm wondering, that nobody can follow me!
I must , I desire to heal myself from this megalomany!
2010_12_01, Eve of Chanuka - holidays of
Did an "angel" push my eyes into this last passage?
For this morning I suggested to my daughter-in-love
exactly the same kind of megalomanic "Quintet-Day"! 2010_12_02, First day of Chanuka - holidays
I listened! And I cancelled what I had suggested!
Now I'm afraid of the reacton to the cancellation!
In any case, as to the pressure of this day: Dec.2, I've
created a sculpture which will
help me today
to continually breathe, blink and en-joy all I feel!
Back to 70 Puzzle Pieces Guide
helps me to learn and
to live that"God
.pplistPUZZLE PIECES GUIDE
-Preface to Puzzle Pieces Guide .pp1 - Driving backward .pp1b-Driving Backward
to Retrieve Goodness .pp2 - Peer Companions .pp2b-
Peer Companions .pp3 - Moving Emotions .pp4 - Identifying
Triggers .pp5 - Trapping Will .pp6 - Releasing Judgments .pp6b-Releasing Judgments
.pp7 - Total Self-Acceptance .pp8 - Understanding
and Choosing Experience .pp9 - Body the Master
Healer of Creation .pp10 -Denial of Will .pp10b-How God started
to feel and to deny .pp11 - All of Creation .pp12 - The Goal:
To become Parental and Whole .pp13 - Feel all there
is to Feel .pp14 - God's and
my Will and Desire .pp15 - Guilt&Blame
are the same .pp16 - Reality reflects
Denial .pp16b- Reality reflects
Judgments .pp17 - How I learnt
Moving Emotion Techniques .pp17b- Moving Emotions:
Sound .pp17bb-Sound +
17bbNote: Heart .pp17c- Moving Emotions:
Breath .pp17d- Moving Emotions:
Body Movement .pp17e- "Releasing"
or Moving & Evolving them? .pp18 - Good and Bad .pp19 - Body's Illness
.pp19b -Body's Death .pp20 - Everyone a
Hologram .pp21 - Oneness and
and Fragmentation .pp22- Perception and Projection
- Loving Hearts' Denials .pp24 - Lucifer and
.pp25 - Denial Spirits and Asuras .pp26 - Redeeming
Lost Will .pp26b- Redeeming
Lost Spirit .pp27 - Movement of
Lost Will .pp28 - No overriding,
no letting override .pp28b- No overriding,
no letting override .pp29 - Reclaiming
.pp30 - Unconditional
Love .pp31 - Sacrifice
what you don't want .pp32 - Doing the
Healing Work .pp33 - Greatness
and Grandeur .pp33b-Reflection
of Denied Greatness & Power .pp34 - Communication
with Deity .pp35 - Following
Will's and Body's Lead .pp36 - September
11, 2001 .pp37 - Gaps and Eruption
of Gapped Rage & Terror .pp38 - Unconsciousness,
Amnesia .pp39 - Deity and
Manifestation .pp39b -The Process
of Manifestation and Creation .pp40 - Cease Creating
New Manifestations! .pp41 - I Create my
own Reality .pp42 - Victim and
Perpetrator .pp43 - Self-Victimization .pp44 - No one needs
Correction or Punishment .pp45 - I need you
to feel how I feel .pp46 - Love&Light&Joy&Peace??? .pp47 - Mary and The
Mother .pp48 - Rage and Terror .pp48b -FEAR .pp49 - Ego .pp50 - "Let
Consciousness Serve Sentience!" .pp51 - "Laughter
- the Final Stage of Healing" .pp52 - Loving and
Healing Sexually .pp53 - JOY .pp54 - Light's Way
to Dwell in Hell .pp55 - Heaven on