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believe it's God if I say it now, but those of you in the gap are hoping my light is involved so I can help you now, and you are not wrong.

I have moved this old rage already, but I have lost Will that needs to move along with Me on this. Because I have moved already, I know how it is going to heal. I have the visionary overview that Heart and Body originally did not like, because it made Them feel like They were being told what to do, but I want to move along with Them in another way now and have Them feel the rightness of this.

They have a lot of rage to move around being told what to do and not liking input from others who might know something, They do not already know. I had a lot of rage to move around Them not listening to Me and then crying out in blame for Me when it was not the way They wanted it to be.

I hated that blame, because I had just as much toward Them. How dare They run past Me, consciousness, of all things, that gave Them the ability to know They even could run! I have raged and raged at Them for this, because They did not move along with Me. I had a plan, and They did not listen.

They moved past Me without conscious understanding of what They were doing or of what was causing Them to do it. I am having to come back now, so much later, and try to fix the mess They created originally. I have more rage to move in the lost Will that Spirit is the only One who knew and no One listeneld, not even the Mother, who could not seem to get a hold of Her emotions long enough to listen to reason.

I have moved past this position already, but I know there are others out there who have not and who need to move this rage to move along with Me because they are a part of My light also, albeit a long lost part. Most of them are dangerous in the small realms where they still have their power because they moved out of Me, holding the position I no longer hold there, believing no one listens to them and they are the only ones that know anything. They are not happy people, usually and are not raging, either. They coldly hold it within themselves and make moves goverened by this outlook.

They have to come back to Me, but it is not going to be easy to get them back after so long a time of being out there, holding a position that turned them even against Me, because they thought I was being too soft on the others when I did not come straightforward with how I felt there at the time. Feelings have not been moving in them, either, I notice, because they did not think they had to move feelings, only make reality the way they wanted it.

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I separated Myself from them, because I did not think I was loving there to have this opinion about everyone else.

I had denial spirits in Me already who had My denial in mind as well as everyone else's Anytime they did not like My position, they moved past Me, too. They were more and more broken off from Me as I denied this viewpoint in Myself more and more and tried to move along only with the more 'loving' parts of Myself that wanted to work it out with others and not be lacking in commitment.

I had feelings that were not moving of hating the backwardness of My other parts in not understanding My light. Why couldn't They handle holding back and not moving ahead so fast? Didn't They know they were going to last a long time and that their moves needed to be the right moves to have the experience They wanted to have?

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Blue has to take responsibility for this now and look at what it has done to put these people in the power positions on Earth. Blue has to take sex more seriously than it has in the past and understand the implications of what is really involved in having sex. When you have sex in a state of imbalance, you produce imbalanced people, which is what we mostly have on Earth.

The Father Warriors are a perfect example of what blue's imbalances have created, and they have taken over the planet, while many people have not seemed to notice what is really happening there. They have convinced people with blue mind that this is necessary and not let them see what they have done to manipulate the situation to make it appear to be necessary. If you look, you can see what they are really doing here, but many people have not wanted to look beyond what blue tells them to see. It is necessary to look now in order to get the blue power struggle off Earth.

Given the situation's perilous proportions, it is obvious that many people have not looked for a long time, so no matter how much you want to say you are not responsible for this, you have involvement, but blue people have a particular involvement that needs to be looked at now, and that is the Father Warriors.

None of them even wanted to emerge until the real Mother was gone and only daughter heart was left in Her place. This does not mean they are loving; it means they saw and had an alliance with the unlovingness in the daughter heart there and thought she would be so proud to emerge spirits and, thus, convince Me that she was really the right mother to have in that place. They thought she would not question herself there, or them, and would defend them whenever purple tried to say what was really taking place. Purple could never even say that blue took over religion and gave the people only what they wanted them to hear.

Blue feared purple's rage there, but blue has their [sic] own rage that needs to move. It has not been moving as rage; it has been moving sexually and has been called passion, and it has built up a huge number of denied rage people on this planet who are in opposition to purple having the power to say anything about what is going to happen on Earth. The blue gap has been saying, "Earth is blue's realm , and purple can stay out of here in the spiritual realms without physical experience." Without physical experience, purple cannot manifest, and blue know it.

Blue has held purple back for a long time, filtering everything through its mind and letting out only what it has wanted to allow purple to say, This has to stop. It is time to say a lot of things that

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have not been said in the past, and one of the main ones is where most of the problems have been coming from on Earth.

Purple has had twisted sex going on, and this is a very serious problem, especially when it is compounded by twisting spiritual teachings that take people away from true spiritual understanding, even into the realms of devil cult worship with twisted sex rituals rationalized as a spiritual path that has been made up in their own minds. You need to look at blue's secret involvement in this, too.

Blue has held it against purple that they have been sexually twisted without looking at the role holding purple out of physicality has played in helping it be this way, but in addition, blue has never stopped it. Blue has had plenty of power in the world to have stopped it and could have stopped it by exposing it and getting the public to demand that they stop it, even if they didn't want to take responsibility for doing this themselves, but they have not done this, and you need to ask yourselves why. It is not because it is not really going on. They know all about it. It is because they are also heavily involved. If they are not heavily involved in purple's twisted sex where they cannot be seen, it is because they have their own similar scenes that they have not wanted exposed.

Blue has heavy involvement in using sex to take power on Earth, not only at the level of using sex to manipulate who has what positions according to who is having sex with who, but also at the level of having "power sex", where they use the energy to put in the force of domination and control and send it out to help them accomplish the goals they have in mind on this planet. They think they have taken this so far they cannot be stopped now. It is not possible to really stop them without movement in the denied emotions around this as you already know.

There is no way to get out of taking responsibility for what happened in blue and say that you just did not know what was going on there. You all knew something of what was going on, even if you did not let yourselves notice it, and could have stopped it there and gone back to purple to get things straightened out, but you did not choose to.

The Father of Manifestation needs to take quite a bit of responsibility for what happened in blue. He instigated it and then denied his rage when he saw what he had done and came back to Me without it, and most of you followed his lead because you all had similar feelings. He did get rage moving in sex there, which is a better approach then not moving it, but he did not put it within loving

Rumi-Quotes, published 14 min. ago
(on Aug. 23, 23:00,
before closing my work on this page for today)

“You are the Truth from foot to brow. Now, what else would you like to know?”


Rumi
Thoughts Of Divine Love
and Wisdom


"I can be without anyone
But not without You.
You twist my heart,
Dwell in my mind
And fill my eyes …
You are my joy.
I can’t be without You."
~Rumi

"One day your heart will take you to your Lover. One day your soul will carry you to the Beloved.
Don't get lost in your pain, know that one day your pain will become your cure."

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Holding emotions did not seem to be a problem for Me there, either. I just gave them some time, and they left Me. Where they went, I did not know. They were not with Me anymore, and that was all I noticed at the time.

Giving it more time was necessary in the beginning, but it needed to be filled in with things that were not happening there. There needed to be emotions moving and body sensations having the experience of getting accepted there. Acceptance, a little at a time, of My physicality would have helped Me to understand what was happening there. As it was, there was so much happening all at once that I coudln't make sense of it, and My light's position was to pull back and try to make sense of it, rather than have the experience and try to understand it that way.

This was because of My orientation. I did not understand what experience had to offer Me there. My light, in other words, did not know that physicality had things to teach Me, only that I had things to teach Him. He resented Me for this and did not let Me teach Him anything, because He was not moving His rage.

He feared Me, too, and did not let that show because He did not want to appear weaker than Me. He did not trust Me to value Him enough to give Him the place He wanted to have there. When He began posturing as though He wanted to overpower Me, I did not trust hIm, either.

So quickly that He barely felt He had any, He moved past His fears into a rage that judged Me just as quickly. He had My light in Him already and was not giving it back, and so I could barely move faster than He could in these ways and not as fast as He could

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physically. He judged Himself to be faster than Me and viewed My slowness there as resistance to Him and resistance to joining Him in physicality.

He had no space for My light's need to go slower with physicality, and I suddenly did not look fast in consciousness to Him, either. He felt like a problem to My reverie, more than the Will even, and when He moved past Me, I was sure I no longer wanted Him near Me anyway. He had become too turbulent and was stirring Me in ways that lacked the quietude I had so been enjoying.

My light holding back and hovering outside of Body had an alignment with Him there that I was not admitting to. I did not like Him there, and so I did not enter into Him fully, but if I did not have some involvement, I would not have been hovering so nearby. I was watching what He had in mind very closely. I did not think it was loving, but I also had some outlook in Myself that was similar to His in that I had parts of Me that did not want to involve anyone else in what I was doing, either. I hated to think that it [sic] might not agree with Me and make limits that I didn't want to have there.

I did not notice My light pulling back there, but I did. I was frightened of His passion, ardor and sudden increase in intensity, and so was the female, in My opinion. It all seemed so sudden. We had had no time to get to know One another or ease into this thing at all.

He was a boor in My sight, and I did not like it that the Will appeared to be interested in Him . What felt so good to Her about Him was My light. She did not recognize it, and He was not crediting Me. He was stealing My place already and not being honest about how He got there. I hated Him for that and shoved it into lost Will immediately, because hatred was not love or the feeling I wanted to have in My reverie.

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light . He gave it judgments there instead that formed the blueprint it has operated on ever since.

He was feeling rejected , was all he wanted to say about it and all he said about it for a long time. This is where you can look for the origin of the imprinting that made you think you could just say that, too. That is not taking a good enough look at what really happened. There is a lot more going on there and a lot more about why he felt rejected than he has wanted to see about himself.

He gave force the initial thrust in sex and gave the impression that it was not important and that he did not care what his partners thought or felt about it. Some of his partners were turned on by this and had major orgasms without taking responsibility for having sex this way and what it really meant. Others were manipulated physically by him in ways they had never experienced before to have these orgasms. Some had mind stimulation giving them this response. Some had their own rage agenda they took into the picture with them. Some genuinely cared about him, but not in the ways he needed them to, because they were not the right mate [sic]. All of you neeed to look at the imbalances in the sex you were having there and the results of that.

It has had dire consequences in the many fragments that were moving out and dropping out in those places thinking they could go forth with that kind of force and do those things themselves, but they had even less light and consciousness. Heart was almost gone there already, except for what was left on the Spirit side, which was not much and had polarized more toward me than body. Heart of body [sic] was not looking out for mate much anymore, only for what the next sexual experience was going to be, as though all females had now become a hunting ground for predators who did not have to take any responsibility for the results or consequences of their actions and could move to another place [sic] to avoid even having to notice them.

Blue has major involvement in sexual power plays on Earth that have resulted in a near take over already. They have taken what has appeared to be opposition into coalitions of power by carving up the kingdom so to speak, which is the entire planet now, and all or its so-called institutions of wealth generation and are having a feeding frenzy while going down into a death they do not foresee. There are things they do not notice because of the splits in the imprinting they took in. Things they are not noticing are going to take them down, and they need to go down, so do not interfere with it by trying to help them now.

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Move your own rage and terror and get your lost Will out of there so it does not have to go down with them, because if it does, it is more than likely going to drag you along with it, because you have not realized yet how big your involvement really is.

It is not pleasant to have to look at your involvement in blue denials that went into the gap, but it is not possible to do things and then distance yourself from them and pretend they never took place. What you have done, you have done, and what you have to take responsibility for and help with in this healing, you have to take responsibility for and help with in this healing. There is no other possibility. Someone else cannot take responsibility for what you have done, and you cannot take responsibility for what someone else has done. [????????] You do not know how to heal it if you did not do it, because it takes emotional movement to heal it, and if you do not have the emotions, you cannot make them up.[???????] if you do not have the recall [????], you cannot make it up, because you will get it wrong, and that does not heal anything.

Pretenses have to be dropped. The Mother has to have Her right place, and you cannot pretend anymore that you are the mother when you are not, and the same goes for all of the rest of the Places. Whoever is parental in Heart is parental, and it cannot be given to another. Fragmentation has been so severe, though, that I could not always tell who was parental to who, and so there is still some sorting out that has to be done, but this does not mean a position is up for grabs; it means that it isn't clear yet whose position it really is.


It may not seem important to you, but right place is very important. You cannot heal from wrong place, because you are not getting the triggers you need, but right place may not be clear to you yet. You may need to move along through a progression of places you have occupied on your karmic path, but if you are not moving rage and terror by now, you are not going to make it in time. You are going to have to go off the planet and reincarnate where your right place really is.

Blue has major responsibility to take in how this is going to go down, and go down it is going to do. There is no way this present system is viable or life supporting for long. It is certainly not loving in too many ways. It has no agenda for saving people and helping them reach their potential, only for using them.

Guilt is most of the reason this has gone on for so long; guilt that says you cannot reveal what your real role has been here, because you cannot take the blame and responsibility that has to go

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He wanted to move so quickly into sex, and I was not sure how this felt to Me, to get so suddenly physically intense after so long a time of only finding pleasure in freely drifting with no focus or sudden, intense passion such as this. I wanted to go more slowly and ease into it a little at a time. He felt driven up immediately and not willing to hold back for anyone, especially not Me.

He was raging with a frustration of held back sexual energy, and at the same time He was screaming about held back sexual energy, He was moving toward having more and more sex all the time. I did not realize this iimmediately, but I came to understand that since He had literally moved past My light without gaining an alignment with Me,He could never be satisfied.

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I delighted in this for a long time as His punishment for moving past Me and as what he deserved for His behavior. This manifested as many diseases, too, and I did not help heal them. If any of His partners, and there were soon many, got the diseases, well, they deserved it for going along with Him and allowing Him to tear them apart in His rage instead of staying with Me.

I had blame for Him for a long time. It did not seem possible that I could have withheld My light. It looked to Me like He had shortchanged Me while I had not reciprocated. I had not shortchanged Him, so I was more loving than He was, or so I thought for a long time, but I had not given Him My loving light. I had given Him denied light full of judgment, sexual curiosity and prurient interest in this.

I had given Him My fear, too, that He was wrong and My light did not accept Him or approve of Him there. I did not notice My light raging at Him in the gap as other than justified for what He had done to Me. I did not know the origin of My rage. For a long time, He just looked like a pervert to Me who had repeatedly pushed past My light and given the Will more painful reproductive experiences than she needed, given Her delicate state.
[I just now heard again Shlomo Bar's famous cynical song: "yeladim zae simkhah" - it's a joy to have children.]

When the Will appeared to like it, I hated the Will for giving Her sexual interests priority over Her delicate condition, Her pain and all of the other things She complained to Me about when We had private moments together, which were not often compared to how often Body dragged Her into the scenes He wanted to have. Had She only pretended to My light that She did not like what was happening to Her?

It looked perverse and more and more twisted to Me. What I thought would take form like delicate, colorful flowers was now bestial, hairy and dripping with things I did not like the looks or smell of compared to what I thought was going to happen there. I was grossed out by what was happenng there and did not like the reflection that I had given sex a bad name by pulling back, disapproving and saying it was wrong. I had no idea it was going to be like that.

I split with Him there by holding My position that I was only being cautious, taking My time and trying to understand first. He did not like My light's position there but did not give His own position. He only condemned Mine. This did not help Me understand what He felt was wrong with Me and my approach. I was just moving a little slower than He was, that was all, until His urgency suddenly pushed past Me and I found Myself floating out

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with that, or guilt that says you can never remember or admit what you have really done because it is too terrible to ever bring forward. Guilt is most of the reflection you are facing now, no matter how intimidating it looks.

Terror needs to move enough to bring this forward, or rage is going to bring it forward in a way that will not feel as good to you. It all has to come forward and when it all does, there is not going to be a stone left unturned. There cannot be, because under it, denial could hide that could start the whole thing all over again. I will not have that, and no one who has had to feel all of this will have it, either. This needs to go all the way from the top to the bottom and the bottom to the top.

When body tumbled down through the chakras, he looked back up at the mother in blue and did not realize she had participated in a shove that had pushed him out of there even though it looked like he was vaulted up in blue. Body was vaulted up, but when the mother in blue could not make him do what she wanted and others in blue felt him dominating them again, they formed an alliance to knock him out of his position there and not let him know they had even done it. They didn't want him to be the one to lead this anymore, and she wanted to replace him with another and make him go down. She participated in hurling him down through the chakras and never had to let him know, because she got rid of him through others, which has been a common approach for premeditated crimes. It is crimes of passion that approach directly and let the other person see how you feel, but this was cold, held rage that planned this one, and she planned it because she saw him as plannng to get rid of her and wanted to get rid of him first.

Unfortunately, who she chose as allies she is going to have to take her share of responsibility for, too, because they were not nice to have in his place. He never looked that good to me there, either, but he was not as bad as who replaced him. She chose Lucifer's light over the rest of body there and gave Lucifer the fireball he needed, because she was enraged at the Father of Manifestation and saw only that Lucifer's light wanted to displace him, too. Then, when he hit bottom, she sent the Father Warriors to hold him there and not let him cross the line to come to My light anymore, either.

She did all of this by having power sex in which she was directing the energy in the ways she had in mind. She did not have the Will presence to avert an explosion in blue. She played a covert role in letting the lower chakras be hit with a fireball of light that re-

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sulted from that blue orgasm which had no acceptance for their presence, because she wanted to be the only one; an agenda of annihilation toward the rest of the Mother, hatred instead of love toward the Father of Manifestation, revenge, one upmanship (sic) and all of the rest of the unspoken rage agenda that she was holding there; the same agenda the male rage had. The agenda was not in question there; only the outcome of which one of them was going to win, and she felt she had won by allying herself with denied pieces that did not like the Father of Manifestation dominating them anymore, which she saw as empowering her to be the Mother, and by letting Lucifer take over there.

In her blind rage and jealousy, she did not see Lucifer for what he was there, only as her defender, and in that, she has major responsibility for giving Earth to him. Granted, it did not look possible to stop the Father of Manifestation's rage at that point or his denial of it as unloving, but the blue mother made a crucial difference there that has involved her in the ways for which she has to take responsibility, because she cannot put herself in the Mother position and not have enough understanding or Will presence to avert an explosion there and then claim she does not have responsibility for it, was only victimized by it and continue to hide her own secret agenda there behind the claim that there was no acceptance for any more Will presence in blue.

If you don't even let the Will have presence in the uppper chakras, how do you know whether anything could have been different there? What My light does know is that you did not know how to help in many situations where the Mother did know how to help and did it without guidance or help from the top. She only needed access and receptivity there, which is what was denied for a long time.

Another poioint I would like to make is that even though the major players in blue fragmented severely and are in many pieces, the cumulative affect of their orgasms has been about the same, even worse maybe, because of the loss of consciousness that took place in the fragments.

The idea that none of this could have been averted because of lack of experience and knowledge or it would have been is not an excuse for not taking responsibility and not even true. Quite a bit of this could have been averted by getting the Mother involved much earlier, and this is a feeling My light has had for quite some time. I had no idea how much wisdom and understanding the Mother had, because I did not let Myself know, and others did not let Me

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from Body into space.

When I noticed that even the ones who had tried to stay with Me could not hold themselves back sexually, either, and gave in to Him from time to time, I thought they were all a sinful lot, and I had many raging fantasies about what was going to happen to them then. They were often mutilated and burned as witches until most of them now innately feel that they had better not open up to sexual feelings or there is going to be a problem coming from somewhere. This is something that needs rage movement first and then other feelings need noticing there.

He gave Me no place of My own from which I could come from My own point of view. He gave Me the impression that My light did not understand His physical drives, was holding Him back and had labeled Him wrong and judged Him already. A huge split, or gap, developed between Us. Before We had time to understand more, it had gone past the place of feeling healable. My rage was immense, and later, so was My fear of impotence when He did not embody Me in those places.

He decided to attack Me and give Me no place. If there was only going to be one place, then He was going to be the One to fill it. He hesitated to attack Me openly, though, so it went into the gap. The gap between Our open presentation and the rest of Our agenda was getting larger and larger and becoming filled with more and more pieces of Ourselves that We did not want to come to light. How far into the gap it went depended upon how much hatred and how little love was there.

When He attacked Me, I began to defend Myself by hiding behind His body presence in places, trying to pull strings and manipulate His consciousness to lean (sic) in certain ways that were not against Me. I usually did this by pointing out other participants and saying it was Their fault, really. We hated these places in Ourselves and did not move love into them for a long time.

Not very mature sounding, I know, but I was not very mature then. I have learned a lot, and My feeling now is that I want to move along to help others with what I know. Whether others can receive Me or not depends on movement of the old charge about being told anthing by Me that they do not already know.

There are many out there who claim to be channeling Me, but they have had nothing new to say for so long that I must not be evolving, which I know is not true. They have old imprinting that says I had to know everything already or I wasn't fit to be God. It's absurd if you think about it, but consciousness has not been able to

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say much about how the mind pretends to think. Openness in the body to receive Me has not been much since Body split off and went past Me so long ago.

He hated Me for many reasons, but holding Him back was the main one. He felt holding Him back any longer was not right since He had been there for so long already, unable to move. He forgot that He was there as My light. He had form, yes, in that my light had form as light, but as He developed more Body consciousness that could move, He began to see Himself as something separate from what He had started out as.

As Body that could move the way He wanted to move then, He was not there that long before He went past Me with an angry judgment that I was holding back, trying to hold Him back and was not going to accept his presence as an equal to My own. I wasn't either, because I did ot like His separatist ideas and the way He was treating Me there, as if there was suddenly no integration between Us anymore.

He began to fear that I had separatist ideas of My own, separating myself from what I didn't like about Him and making Myself appear to be better than Him. He imprinted this in response to My slowness in accepting His new awareness but did not notice how much of Me was with Him already. He took that for granted and interpreted that as His own light now.

His rage did not move. His rage moved past Me, out ahead, and this split between Body and Spirit is all that is known on Earth. He left his grief and terror behind in so doing and His heart, too. He felt there was no place for Him that He wanted to have and His rage was going to make a place and get there first, before I too it from Him.

I found him insufferable in this position and so did not move to help Him have it. Thus,Iwas seen as holding back and not moving to empower Him with My light. This was not right on My part, because it gave Him the opportunity to imprint without My input there, but I was busy with My own unmoved rage telling Me I did not care what He did out there, as long as I protected My space and kept Him out of it.

I blamed emotions then as the reason we did not move past Our positions there. I felt that emotions were self-centered and couldn't see, or didn't care about, the bigger picture they were messing up. I hated the Mother for everything that was not right then, because it all looked like it was not right because of emotions that had gotten in the way. I did not blame Her in the form of the

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know, either. But now that I do know, I am not interested in others who still feel it is necessary to hold Her back on this.

That first explosion in blue was a major power sex orgasm that the Father of Manifestation wanted to have. When it resulted in Lucifer rolling out of there and down through the other chakras as the denied rage that was not moving within love in blue, the entire blueprint that his rage held in its imprinting was within it. Implementing it became blue's secret agenda, but now it was in the hands of denied rage fragments who had a lack of love present to mitigate it , only concern to hide it from the public eye so they could get away with it and not let others know until it was too late for them to do anything about it.

These fragments are mostly Father Warriors who got loose in blue, rolling out in the fireball that went to attack the Mother but rolled on out into space when they could not stop themselves by grabbing onto anything there. They pretended they had not emerged and came rushing back when the gap opened in which denied terror was pushed the rest of the way outside of My light, claiming they had come from outer space, which was true by omission and which policy and procedure they have used ever since; omit what you do not want others to know.

Lucifer commands the Father Warriors. They have claimed to defend My light but never really have. It is not My agenda they have put forward on Earth. It was originaly the Father of Manifestation's agenda in his rage to take over My light and control everything from his position, but he did not foresee how he would feel when this rage really started to move out into manifestation in the actions he thought he wanted to take there. When he felt heartsick, he denied his rage instead of understanding that he needed to keep it with him and move through it. When he would not do what this rage wanted him to do, it was happy to leave him when he denied it and rolled out of there in a fury, heading for just who he blamed for all his pain; the Mother of Everything, at the bottom of the heap of course.

He did not foresee that he was going to get pushed out of there by the mother in blue's own unmoving rage, directing and in secret alliance with his denied rage while presenting that she did not like it. He did not think that she had the power to overcome him, but he did not notice that his own denied rage had become the power she needed when it turned against him, or that she had already been gathering as allies pieces he had denied for other reasons. She planned and worked on all of this when he would not let her in the

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council meetings and found some of her first allies among those who had also been pushed to the edges.

Some at the edges did not like her agenda there and reported back to the Father of Manifestation, but he did not believe she had the strength she really had there. He thought he was more liked than that, but there were so many splits going on in blue that were reflective of his own splits at the imprinting level that he could not really tell, because he did not know how those pieces felt when he dominated them originally.

Many of them had a secret agenda to take him out of his place and replace him with someone who would promise them more participation. When he appeared to be doing that in blue, they did not like it anyway, because he would open the council meeting with what he wanted to do, and whoever did not agree was out of there at the hands of the "You're either with me or against me," stage of the imprinting he was in there. When he evolved past that, He, unfortunately, did not take this rage along with him into that new place by moving it emotionally. Instead, he tried to include it mostly from guilt after he had alrready denied it as unloving and experienced himself at the hands of it dominating him.

Male heart in blue was her first ally, because the Father of Manifestation had made him feel pushed out, and he was her son as she saw it there. He was polarized more to My light than toward Body. What she saw was that he was not being given the place she wanted him to have there. To have more heart presence would have been good and to her credit, but these were not her reasons. Her reasons there were power. She saw her son as more powerful and as having more light than the Father of Manifestation did there, and his dislike of Body caused him to go along with her on that, but he also had a power agenda. She would have liked to put him in the Father of Manifestation's place because she thought he would listen to her more than the Father of Manifestation did.

What she did not look at were the mate feelings she had there, but heart felt them.He was the son, and she was the daughter, but she never acknowledged this and left him with confused feelings that she never helped him with. He had feelings of desire for her from childhood, and her relationhsip with the Father of Manifestation was never very happy, but she never looked at this possibility, because Mother was what she had to be. Why? I say it was because she viewed the mother position as power and the daughter position as secondary, and she wanted to dominate in that way.

p.153

Mother yet, though. I didn't even know We had a presence in that form yet. But by the time I met Her, I was already iprinted against Her.

She had no chance with Me from the beginning, because I had no openness to receive Her any more than the rest. No one was going to tell Me anything in My unmoving rage. This rage was held back more than anything else because I had the least acceptance for it. Next, terror was held back because rage terrified Me and then heartbreak, or grief, because it felt nothing was working out the way I wanted it to, and i couldn't stand looking at that.

Because I thought rage was first, ragehad accorded itself the parental position without My even knowing it. This was further bolstered by the imprint that it was the only one that knew anything and no one else did. It hated Me for not letting it have free rein and hated My other emotions for not getting out of its way and letting it happen the way it was meant to. This is rage's imprinting, and it has not moved much since it broke loose and got out there without Me.

It has to move now in more ways than one, and off of Earth is not wrong in terms of the form it has had for so long. It cannot move off Earth in terms of all the essence held there, because that would not be right place. So, getting this rage moving is going to mean a lot of essence coming in that you are going to need to balance in yourselves. Not moving past it is a major exercise in geting it moving. Rage has not liked emotional movement, because it has imprinting that this is not the right approach to take. Only the rage that is not going to move now needs to move to another planet to work this out because it needs more time.

Trapped by its own imprinting that says it is the only one who knows anything, it has to be its own idea that it should move. Being pointed out by others does not make it feel like cooperating there. It has to go away and move in private so that it does not even have to admit that it is moving at first. It has fear underneath that it might have to get off of its old position if it moves very much of this rage, which runs it into a circle, back to its old imprinting that says it can't be wrong and so on.

Many times, this rage has preferred to discredit the input rather than risk feeling it might be exposed as wrong. It has had little conscious mind there to help it understand that it is not a matter of right and wrong anymore. It has been so defensive that it has been sifting all input according to whether it thinks it is going to come out looking right or wrong in the end instead of looking at the input.

p.154

I had nowhere to go with My rage except outside of My love at the time, and rage has never felt included in My light because of that. I had a feeling at the time that love did not include rage. I did not think it included terror or grief, either, really, but I let it in more than I did rage. My light is not empowering rage in a state of denial by denying it anymore. It has to come in. It is only a matter of time.

It is right time to move into the nuances of emotion and find out what has been overlooked there. Whatever Our imprinting has been, we took it in and know what it is, and so, who else can take responsibility for it but Us. It is not a question anymore of who was victimized more than the next person. All of that needs to move as it needs to move.

The next step is to notice that interpretation played a large role in making assumptions and judgments. These interpretations, assumptions and judgments have been reality, and for the most part, no one questioned this.

The problems that arose from this arose mostly from not realizing that what we were going on was not all there was to the situation and was mostly just what We interpreted the situation to be according to what we knew of Ourselves, which was not much.

We viewed One another as limiting to Our own ideas of how We wanted it to be. So early we hated limits that it made my think it was not new there and that We had hated the void as limiting Us to nothingness, and that instead of moving Our fear around Our own feeling of powerlessness and insignificance there, we gained Our existence by moving past that fear into a rage that wrested [sic] past all of those feelings of being limited and held back, of not knowing and of fearing what the darkness might hold, into forward thrusting movement and light, intolerant of any limits.

Going on what we had to go on was not the wrong approach as long as we moved along to find out what else there was. In most cases this did not happen, however, because of the distrust that arose immediately upon contacting something We did not like. Distrust, as a form of fear, grew into hatred and even rage and terror the longer it went on without getting any help understanding itself.

This has not moved. There has been too much terror here that if We cannot or do not know what reality really is, we cannot know what to do or how to handle Ourselves. This terror has to be faced to notice how much of an opening this left for the "voice of authority" to step in and say that it did know. Conformity has been another way to avoid terror because, "We cannot be wrong if We're all doing it."

p.68

When heart felt feelings of intense sexuality toward her, he did not understand that his mate was in the Will polarity. He only felt the stimulation of the heart presence there as mate energy for him. She denied him in that place and would not go there with him to understand it. But something needed to move into evolution there. She could not have succeeded in keeping the Father of Manifestation there with her for long. He could stay only long enough to give his body presence to blue, but he had to move on to the other chakras, too. It is not his right place to stay in one, and when he felt held back by her attempts to keep him at her level of understanding and position in blue, it grew into the orgasm in blue that blew everything away. This does not mean that she needed to know everything, already, in blue, but if she had let Him go when He wanted to go, this probably would not have happened in that way.

Blue has a big responsibility ,too, in another way. If blue had not decided to keep purple out of there and tried to pressure indigo into working for them, blue might have had enough input to understand more deeply what My plan really was there. The heart daughter who took the mother's place in blue aligned with body and cannot pretend that she did not, and so, has responsibility also in blue not interpreting purple more accurately and expressing it with more wisdom and in a more loving way.

True mind has to be purple inspiration that gives rise to the forms in indigo that blue accurately interprets and expresses, but this has not been the case, even to the point that some people think the crown chakra is white light coming directly to blue. True mind needs purple and indigo in communication and balance, and to gain the true understanding needed, blue needs to interpret this accurately and fully when it expresses. For this to happen, imprinting needs to move out and openness needs to return. For this to happen, terror needs to move that without imprinting, people will not know how to behave because they won't be programmed properly. Blue has been on a major control trip, stemming more from their own Willessness, terror denial and loss of power from their former explosion than anything else, and they need to notice that and move around these issues emotionally, rather than try to interpret and control everyone and everything within limits they, themselves, cannot tolerated if ever applied to them.

p.69

RAGE NEEDS MOVEMENT,
EVEN IN INDIGO

Given the gap between blue and purple , indigo's postion between blue and purple was not an easy one. Purple wanted indigo to see only what purple wanted indigo to see, and blue wanted indigo to see only what blue wanted indigo to see. Whenever indigo gave input that was not what these colors wanted, they denied indigo and shut down their receptivity to indigo. Given the gap these colors had, there was not much they wanted indigo to see about anything that was really going on there. They wanted indigo to see their presentation and only their presentation that everything was good, perfect and right in their realms.

Blue was interpreting purple, as well as anything that came up from the bottom, before blue let it reach the top. Just as much as blue was misinterpreting and leaving out whatever it did not want to have reach the top, purple was misinterpreting feelings and witholding from blue anything purple did not want to have reach blue or anywhere below that.

Wherever blue did not like purple, blue deliberately gave out information that would fuel the other colors against purple and incite them to give more power to blue and less to purple, and vice versa, until people became so confused they did not know which end was up in the struggle between church and state, between state and state and between church and church as the factions in blue and purple struggled also.

Indigo did not like this, especially at first, when indigo still felt it was important to see everything that was going on in Creation, but the more indigo did not like what it was having to see when it looked into these areas, the more indigo also began to align with the idea of not looking anymore.

In the gap, indigo was seeing many horrors that were worse than just not pleasant to look at. These things were nearly impossible to handle feeling [sic] and were becoming increasingly difficult to look at at all then. Indigo began to shut its eyes more and more to these things, and to look away, just as people have so often done when encountering similar situations.

Indigo tried to tell the other colors that there were many things going on that they needed to look at, but the other colors denied indigo, too, They did not want to have to look, either, or to believe that those things could really be going on. Even though the other colors had some direct experience of these things indigo was trying to call to their attention, victims often did not like validating indigo

p.155

It is necessary to notice more than what has been noticed. It is necessary to notice that under the reactionary anger and blame toward others and all the charges in it that say it is because of them that We are not alright the way We are and not enough, and that it is because of the voice that is oppressing Us that We cannot do better, there is a fear in Us that all of this might be true and that instead of being able to battle it out there, we're going to have to face it within.

It is not possible to move past living the repetition of your imprinting without making changes in the actual imprinting itself. No matter how hard you try, it only repeats. This is because nothing has had more power than the subconscious on Earth. It has had the most presence in the essence and the most mass in the brain. This imprinting does not lead to survival in the end, only temporarily, even if it has appeared to be a very long temporarily.

Once your Original Cause imprints, and how they were put into place, are known to you, you do not have to move along those paths anymore unless you want to, but it is necessary to move the emotion that has held this in place as the way it is, the way it has to be and always will be. This imprinting has been very resistant and defensive in the past. I hope it will not be this time.


The healing of the gap is what I see in My vision of love, and I hope that you want to see yourself there with Me. Until Indigo reveals itself,

                     Selah

p.70

by acknowleding what had happened to them because of the fear, guilt and shame involved.

Some did not like looking back or see any real reason for looking back at horrors they thought they had gotten through, now that progression of events was beginning to look like time and sequence. Some feared repercussions or revenge if they did anything outward to show they validated what indigo was seeing there. Perpetrators did not want their deeds exposed and felt it necessary to silence indigo as well as discredit it, often claiming they had not done the things indigowas claiming, or if they had, there was no course of action possible other than the one they had taken.

The presentation being made by purple and blue, to whom so many were looking for guidance, spiritual direction and understanding, made the rest of the colors feel that if they were not directly involved, and did not have to be directly involved, then why did they have to look at these things that, because of indigo's being so discredited and denied here, they began to feel might not seen really be happening, and feel horrible, when they could feel good.

Feeling good became an image of life pursued by many even then. "There is no need to look at things we do not like" they told themselves. And to the extent that you are still having to ask yourself what is wrong with that, you are still having to move lost Will to understand the role this decision not to look played in opening space for the gap to be there, in letting things go into the gap and in putting things into the gap and leaving them there for so long.

Indigo did not know what to do then, and having so many spirits deny it, indigo began to doubt itself. Indigo was not being received as it was and felt many things there. A rage was born in indigo, and was held there, that took the position of blaming other colors for making it see things it did not want to see by doing those things.         Continuation