The Purpose  of   HEALING - K.I.S.S.

- as stated 12 years ago - was and is

  to help me and my potential P E E R s 

"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,

and - by extension - all of CREATion!"
Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013
and Overview of its main libraries


[If you look for a word on this page,
click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]


I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'

pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill
>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"

 

 

 

 

K.I.S.S. - L O G    2 0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart

 
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My new Midrash and song in 5 languages
about the prophecy of Malachi 3, 16
["YHWH" is named "HA-SHEM"= The Name]



1

2
3


How

Learn
And



I

The
Train

 



Heal

Conditions
In


Myself

For
Creating


Into

Heaven
Those


Whole

On
Conditions


Self-acceptance

Earth
Daily
Click!


Then those who see Ha-Shem, will talk among each other,
and he listens      and he hears

yatakaalamuna     allathina     yarau'na-hu ,
va-yusri        va-yasma'

Dann die IHN schauen, werden reden miteinander,
und er lauscht      und er hoert

Puis ceux qu'ils voient Ha-Shem, se parlent l'un a l'autre
il entends,        il ecoute

 

Intro to k.i.s.s.-l o g + all dates ~ Library of 7 years ~ HOME ~ contact ~ SEARCH ( of Latin characters only!)                  my eldest granddaughter's video-gallery

 

 

2008
September 29

Elul 29
last day of Jewish year
Monday


44th day of "having died to
righteousness"

Elah to her father, "I had to wash many dishes in the sink!"
I had left 2 cups, a plate and a spoon! my righteousness felt terribly triggered,, but I was aware & controlled myself......
Actions:
pool twice, garden
kisslog, TV
with Amit and Lior
painting & knitting
Interactions:
call from Narda: "Maryam?"
skype-writing with Dvorah
call from Immanuel 'Mika oneg tzarouf'
SMS from Levi&Ayelet, from Deqel,
from and to Diana, twice
to Paz, short talk with Paz
encounters with Ofir, Lior, Amit
Parting from
my obsession
to complete

this page---
on October 22



The FOCUS of MY INTENTION TODAY

Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want, then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what may
8:00
I desire to further assimilate the nourishment of the last 3 days, until the noon-pool (13:30).
and then to dedicate the last hours before the Eve of Rosh Hashanah to driving backward
to my last experience of E'L'U'L' or "Loving Heart", in May 2003, though only virtual and short...
I desire, that from this day on a true foursome family will emerge: Abba, Imma, Brother, Sister.
and that Tomer will feel listened to & accepted & given a chance as well as give them a chance.
I desire Tamir to find real love with a woman + children while not denying his longing for a man


On this last day of the Jewish year
my beloved name-less vine,
wound around what Albert, my neighbor, calls
"Arc de Triomphe" , began to bloom...

See the Albert-Gate-message on Oct. 19


hodayot [thanksgivings] for today

8:33
My Body, my Partner, my God
I give thanks to our upright stance,
to our faculty of speaking and singing words
and to our brain which makes sense.
I give thanks to your feeling so well,

the tiny "bothers" [lips, teeth, eyes, groin] - are only contrasting this feeling!


I'm grate-full for the fact,
that I coped well with the challenges of the last days,
and no trigger points to a hole in my wholeness,
which would demand from me now to work on its healing,
at least no personal trigger and hole

(unlike the evil symbolized in the "Hostel" movie
and Tomer's strong wish that I should watch it with him).

I'm grate-full for being home in my solitary castle,
despite Ofir's sawing boards for his pergola, which is hard for my "nerves".
I'm grate-full, that all my children rely on my wish to be alone,
and nobody feels obliged to invite me for the feast.

 

"What you build , is beautiful, Ofir, but how long will this sawing-noise continue?"


   

 

   
Nourishment from Others or "Driving Backward"?

The last pages from "Tears of the Ancestors" by Daan van Campenhout


physically


195 "Of the Hutus who openly refused to slaughter Tutsis, many were murdered themselves.
An estimated 50000 were killed".
196 Amartya Sen argues that the only remedy available, and it is one we must consciously use,
is to refuse to believe the hypnotic suggestion that each of us must identify on the basis of one common denominator.
Why would each of us belong to one out of just two categories that are seen as, by definition, opposing forces?
Sen points out that each of us has a multiple identiy, and that we never are only Muslim or Western,
but always many other things as well!"
[look at what my names imply: Christa Guth-Rachel Rosenzweig-Christa-Rachel Maryam Bat-Adam...]

 





[The last passage in Daan's book reminded me of a sculpture in My Life's Harvest]
See a similar sculpture, which included more about the meaning of this contrast
between victimhood and Van Gogh's and Emile Zola's "Joie de Vivre",
versus Daan's "Joy of the world"
in Succah Diary

"In October 1963, before I left Germany for ever
and immigrated to Israel in April 1964,
my mother asked me to join her for a farewell trip
to Holland, the land of her dreams,
since she had spent there a happy year in her youth.
It obviously was not right time for me,
our relationship was strained and I didn't like Holland.
The only experience I remember fondly is this picture:

"In the Van Gogh Museum no one stood in front of it.
But I studied every detail and was deeply moved:
The open pages show no text but "Isaie LIII". Isaiah 53.
I learnt this chapter by heart, in German as a young girl
and later in Israel in Hebrew.
The chapter - one of the 4 songs of the "Lord's Servant"-
was interpreted in a way that it provided Christianity
with the theory of "Vicarious Suffering and Atonement":
'Christ died for us sinners', is the basic Christian creed.
My scholarship year in Israel 1960-61,
which was also the year of the Eichmann Trial,
shattered this theory and with it my Christian belief.
My deepest motivation for researching Jewish Thought,
was to find the livable meaning of Isaiah 53.

"Van Gogh contrasted Isaiah 53 with a book in front:
Emile Zola: La Joie de Vivre - The Joy of Life.
At least that's what I thought then in the Museum.
For years to come that contrast comforted me.
In 1986 I finally got hold of the French book and lo!
The title is an irony, a travesty, a bitter persiflage!
Van Gogh painted the Suffering of Humankind,
which Christianity hasn't eased, but often worsened.


 

 

Nourishment from Others through TV

Aachen; medical students learn to listen and to talk
(nidberu): see video of 3 SAT


"Man muss sich die Zeit nehmen, Patienten zuzuhören"
Im Praktikum lernen angehende Ärzte, mit unheilbar Kranken richtig umzugehen



"Es ist wichtig, dass man zu Patienten ehrlich ist, aber sich auch Zeit nimmt zuzuhören", hat die Medizinstudentin Britta Kühlmann in ihrem Praktikum erfahren. "Das hätte ich in keinem Lehrbuch lernen können." Studenten lernen von schwerkranken Patienten, wie deren Gefühlswelt aussieht. "Ärzte haben das Rollenbild, unfehlbar zu sein und den Patienten helfen zu müssen", weiß der Aachener Palliativmediziner Dr. Frank Elsner. "Es besteht ein Wert darin, Menschen zu begleiten, denen man nicht mehr helfen kann."


Das müsse man auch für sich selbst akzeptieren. In ihren Supervisionen bearbeiten die Studenten mit der Diplom-Psychologin Stephanie Stiel das Erlebte. Elsner hat die Idee, einen Patienten über mehrere Wochen von einem Studenten begleiten zu lassen, von der US-amerikanischen "Harvard Medical School" mitgebracht. Er begleitet diese Erfahrungen in einer Studie.
















in Lod, there are people who care about the town
channel 2

Lodfoundation-September 28
The Lod Community Foundation aims to promote a variety of projects to benefit the city of Lod and all of its habitants.
The Foundation will deal with fundraising in Israel and abroad and promote infrastructure, education, multi-cultural activities, sports, walfare, environment, tourism and co-existence.

Yesterday I traveled through Lod!
And now this report on channel 2
and the website about the foundation,
which begins its september news
with pointing out,
that this year Rosh Hashanah and Id-al-Fitr will be celebrated together!

 

Hiam Abbas - double identity -3 SAT
Friedensarbeit auf der Leinwand
Die palästinensische Schauspielerin Hiam Abbass


Hiam Abbass bei der Premiere zu "Lemon Tree" © dpa

Ihre markanten Züge vergisst man nicht so schnell: Die palästinensische Schauspielerin Hiam Abbass hat etwas von einer klassischen Tragödiendarstellerin. Sie ist eine Erscheinung auf der Leinwand und das Gesicht des israelischen Kinos. Ihr neuer Film, "Lemon Tree", kommt am 2. Oktober 2008 in die Kinos.


Als Palästinenserin, die 1960 in Nazareth geboren wurde und heute in Paris lebt, trägt sie den Nahost-Konflikt in sich: das schwierige Zusammenleben zwischen Juden und Palästinensern, das Trauma der Heimatlosigkeit. "Ich lebe in Paris, drehe in den USA, bin auf der ganzen Welt zu Hause", sagt Abbass. "Aber ich habe keine Heimat mehr. Das letzte Mal, als ich so etwas wie Heimat gefühlt habe, war im Sechs-Tage-Krieg, unter dem Rock meiner Mutter", sagt Hiam Abbass, deren nuancenreiches Spiel aus Bitterkeit und Trauer, weiblicher Intuition und trotziger Selbstbehauptung hierzulande noch zu entdecken ist.


Doppelte Identität

Die Absurdität des Lebens im Nahen Osten - zwischen Hoffnung und Resignation, Krieg und Frieden - hat sie geprägt: "Ich bin eine Palästinenserin, die in Israel geboren und aufgewachsen ist", sagt sie. "Ich habe eine doppelte Identität. Mich hat der Sechs-Tage-Krieg geprägt. Ich war ein kleines Mädchen, sechs Jahre alt. Da wurde unsere Gegend vom Libanon und von Syrien aus beschossen. Gleichzeitig wusste ich, dass ein Teil unserer Familie im Libanon und in Syrien lebte und dass sie wiederum von den Israelis, also den Leuten, mit denen wir lebten, bekämpft wurden. Damit bin ich aufgewachsen. Es war schizophren."


Ihre Lebenserfahrungen spielt Hiam Abbass auf der Leinwand aus: in Filmen wie
"Paradise Now", "Die syrische Braut" oder "Free Zone", die in den letzten Jahren international große Aufmerksamkeit erregten und in denen sie als facettenreiche Charakterdarstellerin mitwirkte. Ein ähnlich vitales Kino, in dem sich Privates mit dem Politischen verschränkt und das in alltäglichen Geschichten kritisch, tabulos und in ironischer Brechung die Realität diesseits und jenseits von Zäunen, Mauern und Grenzen im Heiligen Land widerspiegelt, ist auch Eran Riklis' tragikomische Parabel "Lemon Tree". Auf der Berlinale 2008 mit dem Publikumspreis ausgezeichnet, kommt der Film am 2. Oktober in unsere Kinos.


David gegen Goliath

Der Konflikt zwischen Israelis und Palästinensern manifestiert sich hier in einem ungleichen nachbarschaftlichen Kampf um einen Zitronenhain im Westjordanland. In einer Melange aus Trauer und Wut, Poesie und Schwarzem Humor brilliert Hiam Abbass als palästinensische Witwe, die sich gegen die Zerstörung ihres Besitzes auflehnt und vor Gericht zieht. "Die Hauptfigur in 'Lemon Tree' ist eine sehr einsame Frau", so Abbass. "Sie ist Witwe, ihr Sohn lebt in den USA. Die Zitronenbäume sind das einzige, was sie noch hat. Aber diese Einsamkeit gibt ihr Stärke. Sie muss keine Rücksichten mehr nehmen. Irgendwann entscheidet sie sich, für ihre Würde zu kämpfen, und dann gibt es für sie keine Macht der Welt mehr, die sie aufhalten kann."


In der West Bank, unmittelbar an der Grenze zu Israel, lebt die palästinensische Witwe Salma (Hiam Abbass). Dort ist sie tief verwurzelt - ebenso wie die alten Bäume des Zitronenhains, die ihr Vater einst pflanzte. Die friedliche Oase, die sie mit Hingabe pflegt, ist ihr Ein und Alles. Mit den nahezu paradiesischen Zuständen ist es allerdings vorbei, als der israelische Verteidigungsminister Israel Navon (Doron Tavory) das neue Haus auf dem Nachbargrundstück bezieht. Weil sie angeblich leichte Deckung für Terroristen bieten, werden die Zitronenbäume plötzlich zum Sicherheitsrisiko und sollen abgeholzt werden. Doch Salma setzt sich zur Wehr. Gemeinsam mit dem jungen palästinensischen Anwalt Ziad Daud (Ali Suliman) zieht sie bis vor den Obersten Gerichtshof Israels, um ihre geliebten Bäume zu retten. Ihr mutiger Kampf weckt nicht nur das Interesse der Medien. Auch Mira (Rona Lipaz-Michael), d
ie Gattin des Ministers, die sich in der Einsamkeit des neuen Hauses erstmals mit der Leere ihres eigenen Lebens konfrontiert sieht, wird auf Salma aufmerksam. Aller Unterschiede zum Trotz und über die streng bewachte Grenze hinweg wächst zwischen den beiden Frauen ein unsichtbares Band der Sympathie.



 

 

Song of the Day


My lover is mine and I am my lover's

lyrics: Song of Songs 2:16 ~~~ 3:6 ~~~and 4:9 ~~~~ tune: Nira Hen



During the last two hours of the month Elul - ani le-dodi ve-dodi li


"Driving Backward into the Future"
Retrieving an actual, though short experience of

Then those who see Ha-Shem, will talk among each other, and he listens      and he hears
so as to strengthen and reinforce my desire for


October 15, 2008, I came across this page and the first insert of the Mar-Mar-dialogue
and discerned, that except for a small passage, all first letters had disappeared.
They couldn't be retrieved from the original folder of "Word" documents, since I had already deleted those.
But then I had the courage to search for backups of former years, though I had never ever made use of a backup before.
I can hardly believe it! I found the disc, I inserted it and it was no problem at all to find the missing letters in May 2003.
Re-inserting them on this page gave me a second chance to go back to "how it all started", and this gave me great joy!

2003_04_20 Subject: thank you
Dear Maryam, Christa-Rachel Bat-Adam,

Thank you for the site...,
I haven't even started reading through it seriously...
but whatever I've bumped into feels good and real,
and makes me want to cry... for no apparent reason,
except maybe that I'm not alone here going through stuff.

I think I'll be in touch
in love and light Mar

PS. I'll think about you going through Eilat tomorrow for the Sinai.











2003_04_27 Dear Christa-Rachel

thank you for responding


By "going through stuff" you probably mean: by feeling so intensely.

I don't really know if intense is the word
feeling definitely is
but sometimes it is just so absent and dead
like a dead heart
that it is intensely nothing
cold and dark
so this might be called a feeling I guess, yes
but the intensity is of my loss
the real pain
I can hardly feel, just guess
and only when intensely still and open
expressing
and listening

I do irregular checkups on the net for RUOW,
(search machine ALLTHEWEB)
although lately (last few years) my path has been more one of search
for a certain balance in expression
instead of deepening my understanding of the books
and jumping at every trigger in an over-zealous way
and I feel I'm not really ready to re-read all the books
(read them all except "Indigo"
- the 8th and last book)
in fact I really feel that after the first one
and most introductions of the other ones,
and some passages which were explanatory,
I read the material in a frenzy, not really connecting or understanding most
so i kind of 'stay in touch' with the material,
feel that I internalized most of the first book,
and wait for the occasion to re-connect -with it
sometimes I read a few pages from the godchannel to which I connect,
but mostly I also feel it wrong for me to get disciplined
and work through the pages in order of 'lessons'

maybe your proximity (Israel) once I understood who you were
made me feel that there could open in me something
that cannot be touched by words in a book
that something is being born for me here

I also wondered how come I never got to your souka bamidbar...
somehow... it didn't fit (although it's the kind of thing I would do)

And how come , that exactly when you plan to go to Sinai,
you seem to have read the (not completed) page about MY Sinai?


and also why it is that on pessach eve when I wanted to pass the border..
they didn't let me go through....,
my sons' passport picture (age 4) was outdated
and they (she -Israeli boderpolice responsible) decided
she couldn't identify him...
had to get back to Kiriat Ono..
and succeeded on sunday to replace the photograph
I found your site late saturday... [i.e. 4 days later]

all this adventure at the border was absolutely interesting...
tiring naturally
but I don't feel I've been 'triggered' in heavy emotions
by having been 'rejected' or by having been limited
it's more like being triggered into acceptation and understanding
than rage, frustration or anger etc..
or else I'm denying - who knows..

interruption - telephone

a friend just suggested the symbolic meaning of the story about the
photograph of my son
= the need for me to LEHITADKEN
[to become updated]

the world has changed
I am not the same anymore
I can feel more today I guess
I can feel in a more balanced way
less going-into-fits
accepting my limitations
not pushing too far
yes

that's it for today thank you for listening
hope I haven't overdone your invitation of 'hearing from me'

love and light
Mar













2003_04_21, Dear Mar,

Thank you so much for this gift.
Though I keep telling myself,
that it's for my own healing and growth,
that I work and create on my site,
it's marvellous to get this feedback:
"makes me want to cry for no apparent reason,
except maybe that I'm not alone here going through stuff.
"
By
"going through stuff" you probably mean:
by feeling so intensely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2003_05_04 Dear Christa-Rachel

"and for every sentence in it I could hug you."
Thank you for this hug
it seems that although I am well, healthy and quite happy most of the time
there's this part in me that is so desperate for this hug
there's a part in me so miserable for it
so sad about it


"Maybe, we should meet.
But not yet.
Feel, when it's Right Time for you,"

it is good to be in touch with someone
with whom there's a hope of a certain dialogue...
with gentleness
frail, fragile
very

this new heart
may have been born
maybe

not only will I check out Right time for me
I follow the thread through fear/threat and even more


"know that just knowing you do that so close by, helps me do the same!"
thank you for telling me

 

I also want to say I'm starting to get into it [my site?]and it feels right...


-------------------------

a day later [May 5, 2003]

I have read the process you have gone through
with godchannel and other healing people at PuzzlePieces/pp28.htm

very strong
thank You

It has shown me a way
an example,
a justification
a reflection
of the perfection of a small
still struggling
dream
of what I believe is "reality" (wrong word)
or something that I'm about - maybe a way of the heart-

heart-to-heart

it is so difficult to find such a path
I always find paths were I can touch others' hearts
understand/feel and even help (I'm a therapist)

but my heart feels so lonely
so unsure
so 'wrong' sometimes
sometimes others tell me I don't let them in
but when I open
they don't see
they won't enter
or rage
or attack
or deny
and I know I'm right
I know my heart is real
come in please

but be careful
don't break anything
everything is like a porcelaine crystal shop
it is beautiful inside

between awe, fear and sadness

my heart is
so untouched

and I am with anticipation at my reaction when writing/saying this
and nothing seems to be triggered

always waiting for bigger truths to appear
to fill me up with meaningfulness
little me
nothing me - untouched heart
I have nothing real to give and hope to find it in this heart

no voices, no mother
no father
and it is so easy to fill up with spirit-force new-age truths
and optimism and lift
but so wrong now
let it be

-------------------
------------------
so
I have seen your vision
and I saw your unbelief and struggle
at their reaction (GC channelers)
and their rejection of your belonging
and their talk to you in fear-filled and meant-to-evoke-fear language...
accompanied in some cases by a 'spirit-respect' approach
and giving you the same 'spirit-respect'

I have seen greatness here

----------------
feeling self
and feeling others
this is different
i think

as long as I know that the other is a trigger
a lover

but everything is so frail around me, fragile, people
or I don't really understand them and get it all wrong
maybe I get it right
and right is whatever comes out

where is my heart
how to discern between my filters and my heart
why do i talk about 'them' when it's all about me?

expectations
things to do in life
everything is always filled
by this feeling of not-enough un-finished

too much pain everywhere that is why order must be put
either to stop the pain.. or to get it as far as possible from me
so talk things thru, go through it,
open it get it to become feelable without exucrating pain
or goodby take a hike, hit the road
my neck hurts, my shoulders are tense
the inside of my right thigh is hurting

[things I write but don't fit and aren't right so I erase them and forget them]

this is it for now

thanks for permitting me to work with you
(or with who I imagine you to be)
its all very saccaded,
so many thoughts and feelings run between the lines and paragraphs...
maybe it leaves too much to be guessed..
we'll see how it all evolves

Mar

PS: I knew 25 years ago someone by the name of rosenzweig
who was very dear to me.. one more mikriut
[coincidence].

 

2003_05_02 Very dear Mar,

In the meantime, your quest
"feel that I internalized most of the first book,
and wait for the occasion to re-connect -with it"

may be answered through the page,
which I started one day before your first letter,
and I'll think of you,
whenever I continue what I've started.

More relating to your letter from 2003_04_27
on 2003_05_10

my path has been more one of search
for a certain balance in expression
instead of deepening my understanding of the books
and jumping at every trigger in an over-zealous way
...


maybe your proximity (Israel)
once I understood who you were
made me feel that there could open in me something
that cannot be touched by words in a book
that something is being born for me here


the symbolic meaning of the story about the
photograph of my son
= the need for me to LEHITADKEN


the world has changed

since when, since what experience?
I am not the same anymore
I can feel more today I guess
I can feel in a more balanced way
less going-into-fits
accepting my limitations
not pushing too far

Into what direction did you push?


Continuation tomorrow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2008
September 29

Elul 29
last day of Jewish year
Monday





Intro to k.i.s.s.-l o g + all dates ~ Library of 7 years ~ HOME ~ contact ~ SEARCH ( of Latin characters only!)                  my eldest granddaughter's video-gallery

whole&full-filled, never perfect&complete
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
K.I.S.S. - L O G    2 0 0 8