|
50 days of Moving and E-volving Emotions Manual - 17th day, 2002-07-22
|
Hours of grace with a not very communicative grandson I breathe and laugh joy and gratefulness
|
 |
 |
2013
The FELT days 67, 68, 69,70 ~ of the next 15 FELT years
 |
1
5 y e a r s = 5 4 8 0 days
of g e f u e h l t e - g e f u e l l t e Z e i t "inmitten der Ewigkeit", f e l t - f i l l e d t i m e "amidst eternity" from the beginning of my 76th till the completion of my 90th year [unless I'll die after all] "A dream is our life on Earth ...we measure ...(it) in space & time" -see 2013 songs August Nr. 4- Yes, I, Christa-Rachel Bat-Adam, want to measure my life on Earth in space & time! 4 days of feelings will be inserted on each of the 1400 pages [set up between 2001-2008] continuing with M E E M and then following the order of folders and files on my "local site". The feeling chosen from a day is exhibited in max. 7 lines per day since August 28, 2013 On 6 days of the week I learn, but Shabbat is dedicated to my main feeling: grate-full-ness. Since feelings must be vibrated~ wombed, each day closes with a song, fitting the 7 lines To challenge myself like that -while not knowing what will be "staged" in my personal and in the world's drama till 2028 , exhilarates me! |
 |
|
Fourth of November 1960-1995-2003
Rachel~Rafael love each other , Yitzhak Rabin is murdered, The David-Israel-Rachel-Code is activated
November 5, 2013- Whispers from Veronica...
|
R E M E M
B E R W H O Y O U
A R E "In the early mist of your soul's creation the concept of evolution soon began beating in a physical heart. Taking form to participate was intended to bring expansion and clarity to your energy. However, the dramas created for learning had the ability to increase without complete resolution. Thus the majestic light of your soul's creativity became distorted or forgotten in the linear experience. Every soul vibrates with a pulse that simmers in your subconsciousness awaiting release. It surfaces sweetly like a whisper of thought wishing to tumble off the tip of your tongue but never quite arriving. This often leads to frustration as you attempt to remember what you are seemingly forgetting to do in this life. "What is my purpose?" "Why am I here?" Questions that speak loudly while the answers retreat into more meaningless dramas. The desire of the soul to speak becomes louder in your head until your heart explodes in its need to express its magnificent energy. The soul, even when enduring physical suppression has the ability to expand. Often the largest opponent to this expansion is the physical belief system that is in place. It is important to remember that no matter what has occurred in your life, the soul's intention is to shine its light forth. Release the perceived mistakes and supposed wrong turns. Embrace your creativity while weaving through that maze of unfortunate dramas. You and your soul have the ability to do so. . |
Dear Veronica: I am very upset right now as I watch over my aged mother. She is very independent and wants to live her own life, but I am seeing lots of examples of her encroaching dementia, and an inability to make good, sound decisions. The situation has become more complicated by a man who is insinuating himself into her life. I am very ill at ease with the situation. How can I support my mother, and at the same time keep her safe? I know there is a lesson here, but I am having a hard time finding the positive. My mind is totally consumed with all the negative possibilities.... Please help me. Susan Dear Susan, Perhaps the consuming negativity in the thoughts of your mind are the ultimate culprit. Decide to take all the drama out of the situation for a moment. The examples are but a result of your own fears concerning your mother. Realize, while deteriorating physically, her soul is acting in her favor. The fellow in question has the probability of becoming a so called victim of her encroaching dementia. The lesson is your mother will resolve the issue with her own soulful power. Be there, as her daughter, support her without fear. Understand that not all negativity may gain a foothold in a life. By being fearful you are supporting the gentleman in question. Decide to be positive spiritually. By that participation your mother will have better opportunity to be successful. --VERONICA |
|
Today,
on Nov. 5, I see myself both nervous and angry, nervous because of several little bugs - but the song "Find your goldgrains in your puddle" helps me a lot, angry, because the men, who prepare the construction of new houses on the slope of the "Grave of Grace", are surrounding the area, and on this morning, blocked the path through the Wadi of Compassion by a fence. On the way to the pool I could still pass, but seeing what they were about to do, I screamed at the laborers. The manager promised to open a passway for me, but when I came back from the pool, it was blocked. This time I cursed: "Why did you lie to me, promise and not keep your promise. You are disgusting!" The laborers were Bedouins, whom I so much want to improve their economic and social situation! Then, when Meital came to bring me the awaited doc that confirms that I receive National Insurance, (so that Hagit, my angel, can go on fighting against the absurd dept, with which the authority of taxes is persecuting me,) she said with glee, that the religious neighbors had silenced the dog-neighbors by sending a policeman. This was the pretext for me to tell her, that now I was in for another trouble, the blocking of my path. That was stupid of me, first because she has not the slightest understanding for my need for that path, second, because I told the matter in an agitated voice and she - a screamer herself - got triggered by it. This is yet another test and training for applying my song. [See the final blocking of the path on April 30, 2014] |
 When I wanted to pass again on my way to the dentist and again to the pool, the blockage was total, and so was it on my way back. The men had to actually help me to climb through somehow. Still I decided to give the manager the new bag which I received as a gift when I paid for my annual subscription (1980 NIS) for the pool today. A bribe? |
|
INTRODUCTION p.I |
INTRODUCTION p.I |
|
November
6, 2013: the "bribe" did not help. My path was blocked by the ugly fence. When I turned to the laborer who claimed his name was Ahmed, he asked: "Don't you trust me?" "Trust you? after you've broken your promise 3 times?" This fourth time even I was sure, that he meant it. But he did NOT.... Technically I found a way around - through hard, harsh terrain. It will take me 3 min. longer and is not pleasant for my hip-joint. That's the absurdity of the fence (like that between Israel-Jordan): even a limping woman of 75 can circumvent it! More than anger it's pain that I now feel for being lied to like that. A racist belief is, that if you ask a Bedouin about the way you seek, he'll never admit that he doesn't know, he'll lie - -just to please you, not caring for how much you'll curse him later when you find out, that he sent you into the wrong direction. More racist is that I feel hurt by the "entire" !!!!!!! Bedouin community for whose empowerment I've worked so much... |
November
7, 2013: When I -coming back from the afternoon-pool - circumvented the fence a 4th time, I climbed down the Wadi of Compassion, watered my Grave of Grace, with sorrow: Am I again the only one, who does not surrender to the blocking of a public path? Then - when I reached the deepest spot of the Wadi - a girl jumped towards me. "Shalom!" she said, Ma'ayan Rubin, a pioneer among Arad's highschool students. "ani ohevet le-hashpi'a", as if saying: "I like to BE the change I want". She gushed with ideas what she and her companions and "facebookers" could do, not only to open the path, but to limit the damage of "how they ruin this desert!" On the way to her home she so often had passed my Passiflora "fence". I invited her. "It's not me, who has to become active here, it's you, the young activists!!!" I was and am exhilarated: that's how YOU fulfill my life-long greatest DESIRE, that people may be empowered by getting involved, creative, loving themselves! The same is happening with all the 'troubles' I listed in 'Felt Day 70' above! 70! If every time I feel 'bugged by a bug' I'll become a 'gold bug' -find a gold-grain, I'll be rewarded by the roundabout, gradual full-fill-ment of my highest desires. |
when I laughed about the absurdity of the security-fence between Israel and Jordan (seemingly at peace..) from the RedSea till the Eilat-Airport:
"That's what we know how to do", shrugging his shoulders.
[I didn't find it, but see what I say in the context of a terror act against an immigrant family in a settlement despite a three-fold fence]
By the way, the phone-number shows that I was one of the pioneers who used a cell-phone!
continuation of my hike
to Salt-Sea and Noah's Cave on Oct. 26, 2013
first
page 
second page
third page
fourth page
fifth page
sixth page
I finally succeeded |
 |
 |
Can you see the edge, on which I tried to sleep, often during the hot night, much hotter than at the shore, sprinkling water on myself? I yearned for the shore but didn't dare to sleep there, because at that time an army-jeep was patrolling during the night, and in my naive report to that enemy ranger I had given myself away: "You don't have to worry, I'll sleep in that border-area, [between Israel and Palestine] that doesn't belong to anyone." "Ha!" he retorted, "I'll report you to the army which controls that area!" |
Here is a piece of beach with so much visible salt that it justifies the name of "my" Salt Sea.... the sea, in which all the not-wept tears gather... and wait to be wept.... |
 |
 |
how did this tiny oasis |
 |
 |
The track north is clearly visible here But I can't distinguish between my "old" peninsula and bay (since the year 2000) and the new peninsulas and bays, which multiply the deeper the Salt-Sea sinks |
Now I reached what I dreaded: |
 |
 |
What should I do now? I walked (remember walking is difficult even with a stick) up west todards the road, though I knew, that I couldn't climb up the slope, where the road passes across the winter-river from the Yishai Waterfalls I walked, till the river-bed became less deep and then I crossed it and walked all the way- i.e. the pathless ground- until I reached the track, which would finally bring me to the road. |
 |
 There was beauty on the way. Once I knew the names of the desert shrubs. Now I only could photographed this yellow one one the background of tamarisk shrubs. I did remember the caper bush, though only from cracks in rocks, never in such a collection. |
 Finally I reached the point where the track from my Cave joins the road Jerusalem>Ein-Gedi>Salt-Sea-Hotels. It had taken me more than an hour (instead of 20 minutes in the past) to reach this spot. Looking across the tamarisk slope and the sulfur ponds next to the Sea, I remembered, how easy it was then, to wind my way through the yet young and sparse bushes before reaching my pond. See my hike with Boris on Kaf-teth be-November (November 29) : the commemoration of the beginning of Noah's Shore. |
 |
 I crossed the road and postured myself with my stretched-out hand. The very first car stopped: A woman in fancy dress and jewelry with her teenager son next to her, one of her nine children, as it soon turned out. A very brave Arab woman from Hura [see my past], divorced from a Bedouin man, on her way to a party of the employees in one of the Salt Sea hotels (Lionardo) where she had worked for 5 years and where now her 3 daughters work... |
She drove past the hotel area to make it easier for
me to get picked up.
When I got off the car, she got off too, opened the back of the car
and she insisted to give me some of the food she had bought cheaply at Jericho
!!!
[I had just recently mentioned,
how - in 2000 - I bequeathed my electronic church-organ to the catholic church
of Jericho.
The priests told me to come and play sometimes, but soon after the
Second Intifada put an end to visits of Jews to Jericho.
I had just taken these photos and parted from this brave woman,
when another car moved to the side.
This time, too, it was a Russian couple, but elderly and from Arad.
The woman, Irena, could speak Hebrew somehow, the man almost not a word.
So she translated. What was there to translate? This was simply mind-blowing!
They told, that they had re-visited the
Ein-Gedi nature-reserve, Nakhal David,
and in it the David-Cave!
It wasn't me who started telling them, that I at
present was deeply immersed in the David story!
But it did happen, that I tried (language!) to share with them some of my
refreshed knowledge,
even arguing a bit with the man, who was, as he said, interested in the history
of the Jewish people.
I said, there was more to the story than history, that it was "mystical",
of which he laughed, of course.
When they let me off close to my home, Irena gave me a visit-card saying:
"I'm working with old people. Perhaps you want
to come and volunteer a bit?"
I didn't give her much hope... It is still valid, that I'm not to do work
in the outside world,
and definitely not with people (mostly Russian speaking), whom I cannot understand.
What a day
full of exterior experiences with people and nature,
full of memories,
mingled with some "kicking" feelings - first the "waiting",
then the "too strenuous".
And resulting in a decision (a decision, Rachel?
)
to not again take up such a hike on my own!