And again, the question that stayed with me, was:
How can I stop my goodness from breeding evil?
Not only in the future, but in my very present and presence?

"YHWH spoke to Moshe in the plains of Moav,
by Jordan-Jericho, saying:
Speak to the Children of Israel, and say to them:

"When you cross the Jordan into the land of Canaan,
you are to dispossess [horish] all the settled-folk of the land from before you.
You are to destroy all their figured-objects,
all their molten images you are to destroy,
all their high-places you are to annihilate,
that you may take-possession [horish] of the land and settle in it,
for to you I have given the land, to possess [yarash] it.

"You shall arrange-inheritance [hitnakhel] of the land by lots, ....
by the tribes of your fathers you are to receive-inheritance [hitnakhel].

"But if you do not dispossess [horish] the settled-folk of the land from before you,
those who are left of them shall be
as barbs in your eyes, as spines in your sides;
they will assault you on the land that you are settling in,
and it shall be:
as I thought to do to them, so I will do to you!"
Numeri 33,50-56

"OMÉEN" is a beautiful term, with profound connotations.
It signifies Moses' vocation concerning the Hebrew slaves,
whom he leads through the desert to make them truly free.

I've told about my deeply emotional connection to Moses,
the "oméen", the "nursing-parent" - in pp47 2002_08_08-10.

Not as a metaphor, but as a legal term,
another noun from the same root is used in the Ester story:
Ester was an orphan and Mordechai her uncle,
and "she was in guardianship - omnah - with him". [Ester 2,20].

The root of the semitic word produced the interreligious

which is short for saying "I trust the truth of what is said".
An "oméen" [not used in modern Hebrew] therefore is person,
whom a child trusts until s/he is able to trust him/herself.

A parent and certainly a guardian has to let go of the child,
once it has grown towards being parental for his/her life.

That's all I intended Gadi to be: the Succah's Omén.
And that is ALL.

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Rage in purple and blue retorted that if indigo did not like it, indigo should not be looking, because it was intruding where it wasn't wanted. Indigo was told it was not getting the full picture because purple and blue were blocking indigo from going where indigo was not wanted. Indigo was accused of setting itself up as some kind of an unwelcome, moral watchdog that didn't have the right perceptions of the reality of things and just sat around looking internally instead of actually being there.

Indigo was vulnerable to many of these charges because indigo was naive when these judgments were first laid against indigo. Indigo knew it wasn't getting the full picture because of how

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difficult it was to stay present for what it was seeing in the gap and feared and even hoped it might be wrong.

Fear, terror and all of the rest of the emotional problems the other colors were having began to show up in indigo. Innocence was claimed in other colors where there was not innocence, and indigo was accused of seeing incorrectly and of having its own ugly agenda that saw this way. Indigo then split into factions, each holding the polarization of the different aspects of what indigo's response was to being denied there.

Indigo began to take the path of protecting itself by giving others only what indigo perceived others wanted and were willing to hear. Indigo said it was not going to self-sacrifice anymore in the name of helping others, especially when others weren't even viewing it as help. Indigo said that since other colors were withholding, indigo was justified in doing so, also. While the heart there cared about outcome and hoped to influence for the better, rage said it was no longer going to help those who didn't receive it the way it wanted to be received. Fear was afraid to help others and get the blame and afraid not to help others and get the blame. In addition to its omissions and leanings toward only the more favorable aspects of what it saw, indigo tried to compromise and still protect itself by communicating in symbols, riddles, parables and other ways subject to interpretation by the listener.

Indigo told itself these omissions and enigmatic statements of double entendre (sic) were only self-protection from harshness, rejection, judgment, denial and unpleasant feelings being given to it by others. Indigo was not seeing, and also feeling it needed to ignore, how it was warping the truth of what it saw in these ways.[???????]

Not only was indigo increasingly splitting within itself and also away from the other colors, it was , in its efforts to protect itself, causing increasing splits in the other colors.Indigo's rage was increasingly withholding as a form of punishment and revenge toward the other colors, more and more losing sight of the repercussions of the damage this was causing, and enjoying the increasing antogonism in the enlarging splits between the colors in Creation, saying they deserved it for not receiving indigo.

As judgments began to reflect back from the reality indigo was experiencing, seeming to "prove' these judgments, indigo's rage increasingly felt that this withholding was appropriate, given the other colors' refusal to see and understand things the way indigo saw them. Indigo began to have secrets and to circle in on itself as the only ones who knew what was really going on, the only ones

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who would look at what was really going on and the only ones who could handle looking at what was really going on.

Unmoved emotion had feelings of superiority around this indigo. Indigo began to feel it was not right to tell others these things if they wanted to twist them and use them in their own ugly struggles for position and power, or even if they simply could not handle them or didn't want to know these things. Indigo , itself, was being drawn into its own ring of power, twisted by its own unmoved emotions. Rage was doing this without letting itself notice extensively enough the similarities between this and the rings of power it was condemning.

When fear tried to tell this to the rest of indigo, or tried to move the emotions it felt there when seeing something, some of the held rage there sneered at it and accused it of feeling sorry for itself and of being just like the other colors who couldn't handle looking either, and of being guilty and self-sacrificial in its thinking.

Fear was seeming to stab its own indigo family in the back because it was sitting on so much unmoved emotion that guilt was able to set in. Guilt caused parts of indigo to leak "secret" information, because fear felt that indigo was behaving just like what it was condemning in the other colors and was, therefore, being unloving and wrong to be doing as rage was doing there.

Yet, fear went along with the rage also, as best it could, because it did not like sacrificing its life in horrible ways when indigo got the blame for something.This all needs to move now as the held emotion it really is, and the judgments there need to be released from the old position indigo has held to be reality, because the healing needed here cannot happen with judgments held in place that indigo is never going to be received the way it wants to be received. What was true once, when the gap was being avoided by My light, is not true now, and it will not do to hold judgments in place that do not allow a change in outlook or position.

At the time of making these judgments, indigo also felt it had a mission to preserve, as secret records, the reality of what was being kept hidden but did not want this information to fall into the hands of misuse and abuse. I felt more connected to indigo than I did to purple and blue there because I had the same image then. I, too, had lost sight of the fact that the other colors had the same issues of distrust and of feeling unreceived, as indigo did. When I looked into the gap, I saw it as other spirits' fault and not My own at that time. In my own feeling of bond with indigo there, I did not see how much indigo tried to please Me, too, with its seeing there be-

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cause I was in avoidance of My own gap. In preserving this information as secret records, indigo could not know anymore how accurate or inaccurate it was really being there, because my light was denying indigo, too. Indigo did not know what to do then, and began to go blank in places.

Even releasing the judgments, it can still be hard to know how much and what to tell people that they will receive and when to tell them that will feel like the right time for them to receive it, given the situation We have been trapped in in the gap for so long and the unwillingness there has been to see and feel what has to be seen and felt there. Secret agendas for status, power and position have made it hard to know who to trust and who might make them talk, even if it is not their own agenda to use the information wrongly.

I have also felt it was a burden for others to know something, in case it put them in a dangerous position with those who did have revenge and power agendas. Besides indigo releasing its own judgments, others also need to help by releasing their own long held judgments that they will not receive indigo unless indigo shows them something pleasant and is always totally accurate or indigo will not be trusted. Even now, it is hard to look back without wincing at what has to be seen there, and feeling it has seemed nearly impossible without great dedication to doing so.

Not only is it terror of unlovingness, our own and others, it is also a terrifyingly lonely position. Not only that, this terror has become covered with a held rage that has said it does not care, because it does not need or want anyone else, hates others for all of the reasons imprinting originally took in the position of hating all of the other voices in Creation it did not recognize as his own and thought it wanted these splits that later began manifesting.

This rage began to have power in mind and entered the power struggle between purple and blue from a denied position there. Indigo felt it could take over by not letting anyone else know what was really going on, and then, only indigo would know. As events began not turning out as indigo foresaw, predicted and said they would, distrust increased and other colors began trusting indigo even less, suspecting themselves of being set-up and played by a third-eye presence that increasingly wanted power for itself while acting superior, self-righteous, detached and above what indigo described as the power seeking of others. Indigo began to use its speaking in riddles and other ways open to interpretation so that if outcomes were not as the seeker wanted, indigo might find protec-

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tion by saying it was the interpretation taken by listeners who heard what they wanted to hear there.

This infuriated other colors, but especially purple and blue, into increasing their position of presenting as though they did not need indigo and were going to proceed with their own ideas. Indigo's rage smirked then at the images it had of how far they were going to get without indigo's insights into the situation. Failing to notice how disastrous this was going to be for all concerned, indigo embarked on a long path of denying it even had this rage and presenting only as a victim of being under-received and under-valued for the advice it had to give.

This feeling of victimization needs to move first, and then the rage underneath needs to move, for in all of its infinite wisdom, indigo lost sight of the fact that it did not want to see these things originally, either, and in not liking the emotions felt there, carried an element of blame to the other colors as though it was all their fault without indigo having any involvement in the creation of these problems other than an "I'm telling you" or an "I told you so" sort of approach.

In its looking into things, indigo began to lose track of what it really saw in a person and what it feared might be lying hidden there. IN all of this, indigo had become so focused on the rejection that it lost sight of the fact that there were some who would have been open to receive it if indigo could have seen who they were, but this was not possible in all of the paranoia and distrust. This needs to move now as terror, because distrust is a form of denied terror that does not know who to trust and feels it has no allies it can rely on.

Presentation also played a role here that was more key than its seeming innocence would have anyone believe. The more someone's presentation was liked or loved, the harder it became to believe anything "negative" about that person. In other words, keeping only what we thought was loving around us and trying to shove out the rest made for a positioning struggle as to who was the nicest and the most loving and, therefore, in the most secure postion with others, thus making it harder and harder to understand or have perspective on what might be in someone's gap.

There is an old and original terror here that needs movement. It began when the original, primordial rage was denied as even more terrifying than the terror terror was already in. Why else would terror have felt that it wanted to have something come to it for so long, but when it was rage, terror said, "Why did it have to be this way?"

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Indigo has problems in finding the responsibility it really needs to take because the victimization has been huge. If indigo had rage, it was punished for giving input in a blaming sort of way, and if it had fear, doubt and uncertainty, it was punished for being unsure and unreliable, hesitant and reluctant. If it saw what wasn't wanted to be seen, it was punished for revealing what was not wanted to be known, or for looking where it had no business looking or for prying into the privacy of others. If it did not give enough of the right and wanted kind of input, it was punished for its lack of thorough investigation and accurate providing of information. It felt used to see [sic] what others did not want to have to see, would not look at or could not see.

Indigo has not seen clearly for a long time, because the feelings that need to move there have been so difficult to stay present with that most indigo seers have given up and just moved past the pictures they do not like and go for the more pleasant pictures that people like hearing about. They have gone to the other extreme from predicting big picture events to only predicting small events, personal events and pleasant events.

The more indigo began to polarize away from the feelings around the things it was seeing, the less the Will was present there and the more it was only white light people saying these things anymore. It became almost as though the Will was not even thought to be psychic or psychically visual anymore and as though the Will people had to go to indigo seers outside of themselves to get input from My light anymore. This is because of the severe splits in indigo that told the Will side, when they felt they needed to move emotion or to handle seeing what they were seeing, that they could not handle what needed to be seen there and should leave it to the white light side, who obviously could handle what needed to be seen there.

In truth, they could not handle it, either, except by pushing back the Will side in their own color, and in doing so, they became increasingly Luciferian in the light they still had present there. They had Me with them still, but not in My loving presence. They had Me present only in My denied rage that did not realize I had become increasingly Luciferian there. I fed Lucifer a lot of My power and light without even realizing how I had done it. It is now time for indigo to notice this, because I have moved past this position and it is now time for indigo to move along with Me.

In those parts of indigo that have intent to move along with My light, there is much lost Will that needs recovery now. Given the

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feelings that need to move there, it could be quite some time before indigo feels like looking into the future and seeing what might happen there, which is not wrong since other people also need to move along to find their own heart balance with indigo and with how they want their own future to be, instead of givng the vision so much position or so little position that they do not move the feelings they need to move to have the vision the way they want to have it.

How many visions have you had manifest with some unforeseen part of it that is not pleasant? These are the areas that need emotional movement. This could be tied into an earlier statement I made which was, "Be careful what you wish for." This has far reaching implications in terms of not having moved the emotions from which have manifested the parts you have not wanted.



THE PLIGHT
OF THE INDIGO SEER

The story of the Temple at Delphi is a good example of what has happened to indigo seers, although it was the Mother in this case, when they have not given what the various factions in power struggles have wanted to hear or have stumbled onto things the power positions have wanted to keep hidden. Indigo was there, feeling trapped in the powerlessness of having images arise between the spiritual denials of purple in the temple and the interpretations the blue of the governments, which included the blue that denied red in purple in order to look blue, were going to allow.

In this case, the seer kept getting feelings of invasion threats from Rome, but what she was repeatedly being asked to look into were threats from the North and East. It looked to her like some sort of covert deal was being made with Delphi, and, she feared, with all of the Greek city states, which were polarized into different colors, by the way, but no one who was asking her to look into this was explaining anything to her. What they wer asking her to look at was giving her only pieces of the pictures, but it looked to here like the city states were fearing invasion threats from both North and East, when she kept feeling like the major threat was from Rome, itself.

It appeared to her that the Greek city states were either looking to Rome for help or wanted Rome to help rather than use he opportunity to invade Greece from the West or align with what was left of the Macedonian empire against them. With threats and pos-

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sible threats from so many sides , the city states didn't want to let anyone know, of course, because they wanted to posture strong, but it appeared to her that they did not seem to think they could unify sufficiently to defend reliably, or maybe they feared they were just not big enough to hold off so many threats at once.

The more she looked into it, the more it looked to her like Rome was going to be treacherous in the deal and not help the Greek city states so much as make them feel like they were being put in a squeeze play in order to extract a very high price for any help they might give. She even felt like Rome was causing Delphi to feel threatened by the North and East, but she could not get anyone to listen to her on that point.

It appeared to her that no one was trusting anyone here. No one was giving her any more information than they seemed to think was absolutely necessary, and no one was hleping her to understand what might happen, but all were asking her for the most amount of information she could possibly give them and were getting angry if she did not tell them what they wanted to hear.

Everyone who was coming to her was asking her to swear to utter secrecy, which meant telling no one anything, no matter what, and none of them seemed to want to let her know they were aware of very many of the others who were coming to ask her to see for them. Some were even coming in disguise, as though they were from a different place than the one it appeared to her they really came from, and were trying to see what they could find out that way about the places they were pretending to be from. This was frightening her a great deal, and she was not able to focus very well at times.She was not being allowed to move her fear first there. She wasn't even being allowed to show it because of their insistence that she be detached from outcome and only see for them. She felt herself being put in a bind where she really didn't know what to say.

The outcome for the city states did not look good to her. No matter what direction she tried to look or how she tried to see it, it looked to her like there was going to be a great loss of the personal freedom they had enjoyed so far and of the distinct personalities that had arisen within each city state. If Greece unified, there was going to be loss of the personal freedom from centralized policy, and if they were overrun from either side, or worse yet, crushed between, she did not know what would be left of their way of life then. It was impossible for her to be detached about this, because she had a passionate love for the Greek city states in those times.

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August 28, 2012: I , "by chance", checked the website of the Channeler, Ceanne de Rohan, and discovered, that she has "redone" the book since when I checked the last time (in March 2011). Formerly she had written: "the material was so triggering that I wasn't able to realize, until lately, that the Mother had 2 incarnations at Delphi that I was experiencing as super-imposing on one another. I was just too triggered when I was trying to channel the book. Indigo will reappear when I feel that I have received it as clearly as I am able." If the book is , indeed, reprinted, I'll try to purchase it from the USA, though I don't have a credit-card. For the time being, I'll continue to copy only the orange book .
Sept.16, 2012 - So far I did not succeed in getting the Indigo book and since I've completed copying the Orange Book and even the missing pages of the Red Book, I continue to copy the Indigo Book..

If it was the North and East overrunning them, she was not sure what it would mean, because Macedonians were at least more familiar to Greeks than Romans were, but there were old personal conflicts and family hatreds that might make it very mean, and at the very least, anyone wanting to conquer another was going to take away personal freedoms, or they would not be doing it.

Having to ask for help from Rome did not look good to her at all. It appeared to her that in exchange for help, the city states had to accept becoming puppet governments of Rome who could still present as though they were Greek-run, but who could no longer set policies where Rome wanted to dictate policy. It did not look better to her, even though it might appear to be at first, and might even be worse than having Macedonia overrun them, because she saw Rome as wanting to overrun every culture it invaded until there was nothing left of it but Roman ways, Roman laws, Roman customs, Roman gods and Roman ideas. The way she saw it, a Roman army was going to invade if Greece did not comply with Rome's wishes to "annex" them by nhanding themselves over in what looked to her like nothing less than a coup. She reallly hated the way this all looked and felt to her. To her, losing the nation to another government was one thing, but losing it culturally felt like the death of everything she had ever loved there.

The head of the city state professed his feelings to be there with hers (sic) about it, but she did not like the way he was responding to this outwardly. He was partying and drinking more and more instead of paying attention to it the way she wanted him to. He seemed to want to take the last gasps of Delphi's freedom into decadence instead of, "What!" he exclaimed if she tried to ask him anything or seemed agonized over what to tell him, "worry and fret like you? Just tell me what you see. I'll handle the rest."

He was afraid of invasion, too, and did not like the price he was going to have to pay, either, but the seer at Delphi took that one point of commonality and tried to see hidden under there a real human being who had all of the concerns she had. When she saw feelings of anguish flutter briefly through him, her heart leaped for the hope that their feelings were one there and that they might not have the terrile fate she foresaw. From this position, she tried to make all kinds of excuses to herself about him and why he behaved as he did, because she did not want to let go of her hopes for the head of the city state, as though she needed to save him without him also having to do anything to help save her as he would have needed to be doing if he was a loving presence there.

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Right about then, she began having strange blank spots in her life where she didn't know what had happened to her or to the time in which these blank spots had taken place, At first, she thought she must just be crazy to think she had these blank spots or was going deeper into trance than she thought but the more it went on, the more she began to fear she was really going insane from the stress. She did not suspect the hands of others in these blank spots and took it upon herself that she was not able to handle her job anymore.

The head of the city state did nothing to help her there. Instead, he chose to drive her crazy. He especially did not want her to see that part of the price was the entire temple, and especially her. He did not want to have to deal with her response, and he did not want her to have time to run. He also did not want to just give her to Rome because he wanted to have the most powerful seers for himself, and he wanted to possess her sexually, and all the more so because she had refused him in that way.

His imprinting was not going to allow her to say "no" and get away with it so easily there. He wanted to possess her in unloving ways, then, and he had fantasies already. He hated her for refusing him sexually and wanted to find a way to hand her to the Romans on his terms, which were to be able to participate in the torture they were already inventing for her there. He even danced a little jig in anticipation, one time on the way back to his quarters, because he had lied to her and felt sure he had fooled her.

The head of the city state did not want to let her see what he was really feeling there. His motives were not the same as hers. He did not mind selling out the people.What he did not like about it was the loss of status and power this was going to bring him in the eyes of those he viewed as havng power in the world. He wanted to find a way to save face, and he wanted to be on the winning side.

He resisted and denied her every step of the way in her efforts to find out what was really going on there, how he felt there and why he was doing as he was doing, saying only that he did not have to report to her or any other oracle on affairs of state. He blocked every effort she made to probe him with her third eye there, because he knew what that felt like already and took great pride in doing it, viewing himself as stronger than her there. He never questioned his motives or looked at hers.

She was not trying to approach healing with the right piece there, either, by trying to get the head of the city state to look into how there could be a different outcome for them all. She did not

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know it because she had illusions about how many people were really going to, or be able to, change their orientation in and of themselves. She still believed that if she could just reach certain people, somehow Greece would unify in the face of all of this and be able to handle it, but it was not going to be possible. She did not know enough about the gap, yet, to know this, and she did not know anything about fragmentation. I did not know enough, either.

She was talking directly to the gap without realizing what it was, what was powering it or what needed to move first. She thought telling people what their problems really were was going to make a difference, because she made the mistake of assuming that everyone was really, in their deepest heart, motivated the way she was and wanted this information so they could put things right. She heard and felt the calling out of the multitudes on Earth for peace and help, for relief from suffering and disease and many other things. She felt that these men secretly wanted to help. Why were they not showing more interest in hearing the cries of the very people they ruled?

She was not able to let herself notice these things sufficiently there at Delphi. He was the head of the city state. He was supposed to be
[While reading about this heart-wrenching naivite of the Seer of Delphy, I again agonize over one of my own "stories" with "men of power": Eliezer Shmueli..].
above such things, just as she was supposed to be above them in the temple. Just as she feared she was failing her office in the temple, she made excuses for his failings and failed to notice that in all of the space she was giving to him for his shortcomings, he was giving none to her, and she was giving none to herself , either.

One of her big problems in interpreting outcome [sic] there was that she kept hoping that some movement or shift in the people involved would somehow keep these things she foresaw from happening. She was beginning to notice that shifts in the people involved seemed to her to have an effect on future predictions. Without quite realizing what it was that changed some of her predictions, she had noticed that some of her more dire predictions were wrong, and the more she had agonized over then, the more wrong they sometimes were. This gave her the added agony that she was not correct enough to be trusted there, while at the same time agonizing because she did not want these prediction to be true, but she had not exactly made the connection between emotional movement and change of outcome. She was still looking too much outwardly for overlooked factors, because she did not understand her own role there.

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Whenever she mentioned that shifts in the people involved might make a shift in the utcme she was seeing there, she was not allowed to say any more. The refusal to validate or even look at her feelings there did not leave open the possibiity of much of a shift on his part as a possible course of action there, and especially not from emotional movement, except from what she was able to move there, which was not much.

She had a more complete picture in mind than they had feelings of wanting to hear there, especially where affairs of state were the focal point. She was too concerned with balance points, responsibility taking on both sides and the finding of true peace. They wanted to hear about dominance and power. She wanted to take any opportunity she could to address her agenda. They didn't want her to have any opportunity to address what they wanted to have remain hidden. She wanted them to make the best choice for their way of life. They wanted to be on the winning side. It did not seem inevitable to her that Rome could not be stopped from overrunning Greece, not at that point. They viewed her as an idealist and viewed themselves as realists. She was not sure that what they saw as the winning side was the best side, and that was the source of much of her agitation there. She saw them as making Rome the winning side by not laying aside their quarrels with Macedonia's divided empire. They saw her as dreaming to think that they could lay aside these old hatreds. [Shim'on Peres' advisor , with whom we met after Peres had become prime-minister following Rabin's murder in NOv. 1995: "You are dreaming!" he screamed: "Dreaming, dreaming!" ]

The impossibility of that being viewed as even relevant by society as a whole is exactly reflective of how much most people have held the judgment in their own emotional bodies that it does not make any difference whether emotions move or not, some things are just inevitable, and all that can be done is to make the best of them. This is a major judgment that needs formal release, and maybe frequently whenever you are tempted to think it again.

She was triggered into the same feelings that she had as the monsters from Hell came clibmbing toward her on the lines they still had to her in Pangea, but she did not know it there. Her descent into an orangutan after Pan had lost her from any consciousness or memory she had regained in Pangea since the tortures of Lucifer, and her recovery from that descent had been slow and painful. And now, here we were again, with all of the same factors getting triggered in her life.

I moved so much rage, along with heartbreak, terror and everything else, over how much I wanted to avert what I foresaw coming to the Mother there at Delphi, and how much this was going to

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set back everything I felt so urgent to accomplish in Our healing. I had been urging her to approach the head of the city state as a piece of My light , and still, his piece of fragmentation would not move along with Me; still, he sat there as cold and calculating as he was in the beginning of things, because his position in the gap was not something I was moving with there, yet . I had not even seen it because it was imprinting I had not uncovered yet.

He delayed in coming to her then. When she finally told him it was her opinion that he should not go for Rome's deal but try to make a better one, it was only a subtle change in his demeanor that let her know this was not what he wanted to hear. When she said it looked to her like he already had accepted the deal, he told her she was not seeing correctly, but that if he did, it would be because there was no other course of action possible. She was so frightened then than she had been wrong and that she had overstepped her bounds and was wrong on two counts, therefore, that she did not even consider that he was lying to her and had lied to her many times before.

The temple began receiving implied threats from the head of the city state that if she felt she needed to say these things to people or to move emotion in their presence, in anyone else's presence, or around anything he needed to know from her or wanted from her, she would not have her position much longer, and neither would the head of the temple.

When he did next come to her, he implied these threats of removing her, gaining more control of the temple and taking away their funding by saying things to her such as, "Important people don't seem to be as enthusiastic or interested in seeking advice from our temple here in Delphi as they were. I think you are damaging the reputation of the temple with these things you are saying and doing. You are not telling people what they want to hear. I think you need to remember that part of the money of the temple, a large part, comes from donations given by these people."

She began to have more and more blank places when she tried to read things. She feared that it was only possible to retain the position she had by being what they wanted there. How could she accomplish her mission and be what they wanted at the same time? She tried to hold her feelings back, but the more she tried to hold them back, the more she was hesitant and faltering in her presentation and the more she was blank, because she didn'tknow how to see without her own process. The more she did not know how to trust herself or where to focus anymore, the more the top officials

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who came to her saw her as inadequate and not as what they wanted in her position in the temple at Delphi.

She had feelings of seeing Roman secret police in the city already who were not revealing themselves as such. She had feelings that some of these people were speaking directly against the temple and against her, and she wondered why no one was either coming directly to her about this or stopping them from pretending to be Greek and stirring fomentation this way. She had many problems happenng at the temple all at once there, and it all seemed by design to make her do their bidding. Right about then, she began having longer, more and stranger blank spots in her life where she could not remember what had happened to her or account for the time and began to fear even more that she was losing her mind from the stress.

She did not have all of the pieces of the picture and was mostly being asked to focus on the problems, but the possibility of an alliance with Macedonia against Rome did not look impossible to her, given what she was being asked to look at there. She was hoping to find some way to make that happen, because even though she tried to see what they wanted her to see, she could not see Macedonia as really overrunning them and felt that an alliance with Macedonia against Rome would be more beneficial to them if some way could be found to heal old wounds from Macedonia's earlier invasion.

She saw Rome as playing them off against one another to take over all of them. She tried to look at it on her own and look for more of the strengths or anything that might be being overlooked that would help. She so much wanted to help Macedonia and Greece unite that she lost sight of everything else in her life. She could not give up the idea that she could accomplish it if she were to be given any help.She was becoming so concened about it that it was beginning to consume her.

The heads of city states who came to consult her did not like her lack of detachment there.They did not trust the North or the East or each other. They did not trust her, either. They thought she was too young and sheltered to know anything about politics, and she was not sure of herself there, either. The threats from the North and the East did not feel very real to her, but whenever she tried to propose this, there was no receptivity to it. They said nothing, but they did not like what she was seeing there, and she got the feeling that she was not seeing this the way they wanted her to see it.

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They would not let her speak to the question of Rome overrunning them, nor did they open themselves to any possibilities of peace negotiations with Macedonia as she hoped could happen. She could not understand this, but My Light knew that it was because they had power in mind, not the preserving of culture. They tried to get her to change her interpretation of outcome there and even told her she was making it appear that way because of something in her own self. She could see that some even held pictures of suspicion that she was somehow being used as leverage by one city state or another to influence them by what she told them. It felt to her like they wanted her to tell them exactly and only what they wanted to hear, but no matter how she tried to approach them, they had problems with it.

Her feelings of great frustration here were growing into a rage that was increasingly taking the position of not wanting to be held back anymore. Instead of the encouragement and compassion she had had for others, she was having spells where she suddenly felt dispassionate, strident and critical in ways she was not used to feeling present in herself. She even told some of those who came to her that they had no business being in the leadership positions they had with the motives and the lack of spiritual presence that they had. Her backed up rage felt sure she hated them for that, but she did not know how much this rage was growing in her until she began to have outbursts in the temple that even began to affect her teaching there.

Since she was often in a light trance, she became afraid of not knowing what might come out of her mouth next and feared she did not know where it was coming from. If she was aware of what she had spoken, she sometimes apologized for having to deliver such a message.

Unmoved rage still spoke through her, however, and did not want to let her view its doing so as a problem. Since she was afraid to think that she could really be saying some of these things herself, she sometimes tried to say that some one of the gods must be angry with the person to have reprimanded the person in such a way, but this did not work very well when most of the people hearing these things from her viewed themselves as favored by the gods to have the positions they had.

She was not at all happy about it, herself, and tried to see it differently but could not. She examined herself there and did not think that what these men said about her influencing the appearance of what she was seeing was right, but she had unmoved im-

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prints buried in her subconscious that deeply feared they were right. She anguished over it at night and could not sleep. She became exhausted in her work at the temple and did not know where to turn.

She moved some grief and terror in private, because it looked to her like Greece was being threatened from all sides with no way out. She did not move any significant amount of the rage that was building in her, though. She was too frightened that any emotion was unbefitting to her station and that rage, especially, might be overheard. She felt herself being sacrificed there, but she had been taught to do that and believed she should sacrifice.

She kept hoping it would look different to her the next time she looked, but it did not look different, and this gave her little to no comfort. It continued to look to her like the Romans were threatening to invade and would invade if Greece did not pay the price the Romans wanted for any help they might give. If the threats from the North and East were real, she feared they still might have to fight, and she increasingly saw that the heavy price to pay for Rome's help was going to be much more than money. Besides control from Rome it was going to be in slaves, taxes, loss of freedom, and even worse things, which she could barely look at.

What she felt when she tried to look at these pictures was so terrifying to her, she had trouble even believing she could be seeing right. She feared and hoped she was just seeing pictures of her own fears. When so many came to her so many times and she continued to see and tell them the same things, unable to find any real change in the situation, she didn't know what to believe about herself anymore. She did not like how she felt there and gave herself many pressures to try to see it different.

One of the areas that frightened her was full of pictures that looked like Rome viewed the temple at Delphi, and especially her, as a plum it wanted to be able to pick. The idea of having to see for Rome was totally repugnant and horrifying to her. It looked to her like she was going to be requried to see who in her country, and other lands they wanted to conquer, would sell out to the Romans, who would seek out their own people to the Romans, what their price would be, where their weak points were through which they could be pressured, who would resist and have to be killed and other horrible things of that nature.

When she looked in her third eye at the energy configurations around these horrible pictures, she saw many men, and not just from Rome, because she felt the head of the city state from Delphi

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there , too, in some way he was hiding from her, circling around her, drooling and dribbling as they fantasized sexual horrors for her. These pictures were almost just like the worst of what she had seen in Pangea, but she did not remember that there.

She felt terrified and panicky, not just about these men, but about herself also, for even seeing such things. She feared something was seriously wrong with her and that she could not handle seeing this. She told herself that perhaps it was just the stress she was under, or that she was catching the "suspicion, distrust and seeing the worst" disease from those who were coming to her, but the pictures did not go away, and she was becoming increasingly frantic and terrified, feeling herself to be trapped with no way out.

She tried to pull herself together and act more professional, telling herself she had to put such things out of her mind because they were not appropriate things to be seeing, expecially not surrounding such serious matters of state as she was being asked to look at. She tried to tell herself that she was just making too much of herself there. She wanted to believe that she was not seeing correctly there, especially since they were such fleeting pictures that were pushed so far away from her whenever she seemed to pick up on them, but whenever certain men came to her, those pictures were there again, especially around the head of the Delphi city state and one man whom she suspected of being Roman but was acting Greek. She retreated into her fear and tried not to look, instead of realizing the import of her seeing there.

She did not know that she had a reputation as "the oracle who could not be fooled," and that the men around whom these pictures arose did not really like being told anything by a woman, were even taking bets on what it would take to fool her and were fantasizing these horrors as the prize to be awarded to whoever fooled her the most. She did want to be accurate, and if she had known about her reputation, she would have thought it meant she was respected and that she was living up to her job. She would not have thought it would cause her to become an object of scorn with a tone of "cannot be fooled" sounding as though it was wrong and bad, and she did not realize how much she was being fooled by not taking her seeing about her own self more seriously.

She could not even believe that such terrible people existed or that they even laid such plans as she saw being laid there. She was too consumed with the mission the former head of the temple had charged her with before he died, and which was heavily influencing

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her to try to impress these men with her helpfulness, honesty and integrity, to notice the trap they were laying for her there.

She thought she was smart and more than conscientious and could do a good job because of these qualities. She did not realize that to them, she was only naively playing into their hands, because that was not what was wanted there; at least, not her kind of smartness. They wanted only to use her, and the less she knew about what they were using her for, the better. They wanted her to see, but only where they wanted her to look. They did not want her to think, comment or advise.

She had episodes of intense terror that she should not have the position she had in the temple because it was too much for her, she could not handle it, she could not handle seeing what she was being asked to see and could not handle the weight of the responsibility of having to give this kind of information to the top officials who came to the temple at Delphi to seek her inner sight for their own benefit. At the same time, she had caring about the mission [sic] she had taken on there and about all the people who it looked like were going to have to be involved in this, as yet not publicly, unfolding drama.

The seer at Delphi was becomimg desperate to speak to someone. She loved the new head of the temple and feared him, too, but of all living people, she most wanted it to be him. His was the advice she would most liked to have had, but in feeling the dire consequences with which she had been threatened if she spoke to anyone, and especially him for some reason, she dared not.

She did not know where her loyalties were really supposed to lie in this case. She feared not with herself and feared what the consequences might be for him if she did speak to him. She did not know who to turn to and was feeling more and more isolated and alone, overwhelmed with feelings and images that felt like too much for her to handle all alone without any help or guidance in understanding them.

She felt like she could not handle everything that she was seeing and feeling alone, but since she was not supposed to speak of thngs people asked her to see, she spent nights pacing up and down in her room, alone, in anguish and in rage, although she did not recognize her rage very well at the time. She was wishing someone else would see something about this and come to her with it so that she could feel like she could talk to them about it and not have to consider it as a betrayal to her secrecy vows if they had seen it themselves already.

See a good website and a video about Greece and Delphi
in the History Channel
"The priestess of the oracle at Delphi
was known as the Pythia.
H.W. Parke writes
that the foundation of Delphi and its oracle
took place before the times of recorded history
and its origins are obscure, but dating to
the worship of the Great Goddess, Gaia. "

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She most hoped this would happen with the head of the temple, himself. She hoped he would feel her anguish, look into it himself and know that he needed to help her there, but he did not come, and she did not know why. That he did not come was stirring old feelings of distrust and rage, but she could not move them there. She needed to move rage and terror and did not know how. She could only mutter her fury toward him for this as she paced, and cry and fear that he did not love her the way she hoped, or he would feel her plight and help her there.

She felt he had an objectivity that should have been able to see what deep trouble she was in and feel her enough to find some way to make it all right for her to talk to him. It felt horrible to her to be sworn to a secrecy in a way that did not feel right to her, and one where she could not even mention that she had been sworn to secrecy. It even made her have moments of total paranoia in which she feared the head of the temple might, for some reason she did not know, not even be safe to talk to. Perhaps he trusted people she did not know about who were not trustworthy.

Without help from anyone, she was not sure just how to interpret all of these things, especially with all of the fear she was feeling and the fear that she was making herself too important in the mix. She had no idea who she really was or why she might have become the object of the frightening and ugly pictures surroundng those who came to seek her counsel there. She feared that she dare not question any of them regarding these pictures, either. She felt sure they would deny her heavily, just as they were already doing, and tell her she was not seeing correctly. She feared how she would look to them if they knew she was seeing these pictures, she feared how she would look if she really was just seeing her own fears, but she also feared she was seeing correctly and could not come to peace with this in herself.

In addition to her emotional turmoil, the inside of her head was a mess, and she coudln't find any peace from questions she was continually asking herself such as, "And then there is the matter of what if I am wrong to trust myself and speak? What if I make another wrong prediction? How would that look for me and for the temple? What would it mean for my beloved Greece? What if I can't hold all of this within myself and I say something, or too much, to the wrong person who is not trustworthy with the secret? What if I and whoever I tell then become a security risk to Greece? Would I endanger someone else's life then the way I feel mine is endangered? What if speaking it allows it to somehow find its way to

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someone who should not hear it? I do not know everything about who talks to who. What if we are facing a threat in front of us, and they do not already know that we are amassing help from behind? What if they then amass more troups? Or are they supposed to know so that they will feel intimidated into backing down?"

She tried to shake her feelings of doom and dread. After all, she didn't know for sure whether what she was seeing was really right or not, and if she was right, she did not know for sure what it really meant for the Greek people. Maybe being conquered by Macedonia was a far worse fate than she imagined there. Given the trouble she was havng in getting Macedonia and the rest of Greece to see that aligning with each other against Rome would really be the best thing for preservng the Greek culture and way of life, maybe Macedonia really was going to align with Rome against them if the rest of Greece didn't hurry up and align with Rome first. Maybe Rome was playing them off against each other by secretly stirring the kinds of fomentation she was feeling and seeing in her third eye when she looked around her. If Macedonia aligned with Rome against the rest of Greece, they really wouldn't have a chance then. Oh, why couldn't Macedonia and the city states see that preserving their culture and way of life was more important than preserving their own internal squabbles! Didn't they care about their culture? Didn't they care about their freedom?

Oh, how she wished she knew more, or maybe she didn't! She was not a military strategist, but her heart was anguished that realistically looking at it, maybe there was no other course of action possible. But, why not? Oh, why did these men ask her to see these things and then leave her so out of the process of what they were going to do about it and so emotionally without suppport for being the one having to see all of it?

She did not want to have to second guess how to tread the shifting sands of political intrigue, hidden power struggles, competitions and old rivalries and hatreds in order to predict accurately which move would put them on the winning side, especially not when they were making secret moves they tried to keep hidden so that she found it next to impossible to have all of the information she needed. How could she make a prediction when there were so many double dealings hidden in secrecy and the veils of political intrigue? She began to think that they enjoyed the game of it all more than anything else, and to her, it was no game; it was a deadly frivolity with other people's lives. How could she explain to them that fates are not always sealed when they kept insisting that they

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were, and all she needed to do was look and tell them the answer? Appeasing the gods was what they had been trained to do, and in return, they might receive favors if what they offered was accepted favorably enough.

She was becoming incensed. She didn't want to play their games. She was not that kind of psychic, but her fear of self-righteusness was growing just as much, and so she tried to be helpful anyway. She didn't feel like she had the freedom to say "no" to any who were soliciting her seeing there and feared the consequences if she did. Why couldn't they be wise instead of power hungry, do their own seeing, and just defend and protect her the way females thought they should be defended and protected in her society at that time?

Maybe it was best that she keep out of it for national security reasons. She tried then to be above it as she had been told they were supposed to do at the temple, but its personal impact upon her continued to be heavy, and she continued to lose sleep to anguishing. This kind of mental circling calls for terror movement, but she did not know it then, and although I was trying to urge her to move emotions, she still thought talking about how she felt was moving emotions and I could not reach her well enough to get her to understand that I did not mean in words. I was feeling increasingly desperate for her situation, Myself.

She longed for the former head of the temple, who was becoming idealized in her mind as having been a father figure to her and someone whom she could have gone to and talked with about this. She wished now for his guidance and wisdom and tried to draw him to her so she could talk to him when she was in her room at night. She wished he would give her some guidance or some kind of help. Any kind of help! Even lift her to him so that she could escape her situation there, but he did not respond to her. She felt frightened then that there was no after life as she had hoped when she embraced Greek thought on reincarnation, or that he was angry at her for not doing a good enough job.

She felt she had been given her mission by him when he was still alive as the previous head of the temple. He had insisted that she take the position as head oracle because there was no one else there at the time who could see as well as she could or with as much dedication to true understanding as she had. He had specifically charged her with the responsibility of holding to the ideals of the temple in these trying times of political intrigue and Roman con-

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quest and of remaining above political intrigue to the best of her ability.

On his deathbed, he had begged her, as though he was seeing something there for her, and for the rest of Greece, that he hated seeing, to cling to accuracy in any case, no matter whether it cost her her life or not. She was greatly impressed and terrified by this experience, and it had hung over her constantly since he had died there in her presence a few years before.

Oh, how she missed him now that all of the reasons she had been hesitant to take the position of head oracle were surfacing in her! She had been afraid it would be too much for her because of her emotionality, which she had so heavily judged, and felt she needed his guidance for the balance she needed there. Oh, where was he now? wHY DID HE HAVE TO LEAVE HER SO SOON WITHoUT HIS GUIDANCE AND SUPPORT?

hER FEAR THAT SHE COULD NOT DO THE JOB AS WELL AS HE WANTED HER TO HAD CAUSED HER TO HOLD BACK AS LONG AS SHE POSSIBLY COULD, FINALLY AGREEING TO IT WHEN THE HEAD OF THE TEMPLE WOULD NOT APPOINT ANYONE ELSE. hE DID NOT UNDERSTAND HIS OWN URGINGS THERE BECAUSE THERE WERE OTHERS HE THOUGHT COULD ALSO DO THE JOB IF SHE WAS SO RELUCTANT, BUT IT WAS MY LIGHT PREVAILING UPON HIM. hE DID REALIZE THAT SHE COULD SEE MORE DEEPLY THAN THE OTHERS COULD AND HE WAS THE oNLY ONE WHO HAD TOLD HER IT WAS BECAUSE OF HER EMOTIONALITY THAT SHE COULD SEE SO WELL.

sHE HAD FINALLY AGREED TO TAKE THE POSITION AFTER LOOKING INTO IT AS THOROUGHLY AS SHE COULD AND DECIDING SHE DID NOT LIKE where it looked like the other possible head oracles were likely to take the temple, or let it go, and because of being so heavily prevailed upon by the head of the temple that she must take the position. When she agreed, he told her he wanted her to try to take the temple, and all whom the temple touched, where he wanted it to go, which was more toward My light. He did not use those words, though. He said, "Take the temple toward heart and healing, not power and dominance"

A big part of the reason she had agreed, shortly before he died, to accept the office of head oracle was because she fervently believed in him. Now she feared she was not living up to the standard he had set for her, the expectations he had placed with her or the trust he had invested in her and could not possibly do so. As My light had made her feel charged with that responsibility in original cause, in her feelings, she had been so charged again by the previous head of the temple with the responsiblity of having to heal all

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of this without him there to help, and she was feeling so unable, so very mortal and so unsaved there.

The former head of the temple had been reflecting something back to Me that I had not recognized until he returned to Me after his death there and I had not recognized how much this had triggered old imprinting in Me, either. This piece of My light held imprinting that the Mother's original holding back from emerging to take Her place meant that in some places in My light, I was nearly dead before She agreed to come forward. In that area of My essence, She looked like a child compared to Me when she finally did come forward. The reflection to Me from the former head of the temple was that in that place in My light, I felt like abandoning Her, because She had originally made Me feel abandoned. This fragment did abandon her there, because the unmoved emotion held the impression that she needed the experience to learn.

My light, in the form of the head of the temple, had reflected that to Me when he pulled back, but I did not want to abandon her that way anymore. I felt sorry for her there and tried to reach her, but I could not get through to her very well. Right time for that had not yet come, painful as it was for Me to see that there. I continued to try, though, because I did not know for sure how far she could go in one lifetime. It was a necessary part of the process, and I did not want to desert her there, but it was frustrating to be so close and not be able to help her more.

I could not say more than a sentence or two to her before her terror level was so high, and there were so many competing voices talking to her that did not want Me to be able to get through, that I felt I could not say anything more to her until she could handle receiving it again. If I did try to continue talking to her when she was not able to handle it, she discarded it in terror that she was hearing an outlandish voice from she knew not where that was telling her things that were not acceptable in those times and places.

I tried to catch her by surprise and say something to her before she could shut Me out. I was making short statements such as, "Your own intuition and feelings are right. Try givng emotional movement a chance; you now it has helped you. There is a supreme God over and above any of the gods you or Rome worship or fight over the supremacy of. Listen to Me. These other gods might be right for others to listen to but not for what you need to know."

I was trying to reassure her about her own intuition and feelings by telling her they were right and trying to say something

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about Myself there, too, hoping she could start listening to Me. I had grown very tired of hearing the Ancient Ones talking on and on to her and not letting Me in there, as though they knew better than Me when they clearly did not. They were giving her channeling that wasn't safe for her to tell to the ones they were urging her to tell it to. I could not get through to her on this, because they had her convinced that they were the gods and they knew better than she did, no matter what her feelings felt about the matter.

What I was saying to her there agreed with nothing she had been taught and she feared My messages, too. They agreed only with things she had felt but, with the lack of receptivity around her there, had judged against in her own lack of trust for herself, fearing that it might be something, even from the gods of Rome, to get her in trouble.

She feared giving out messages when it did not feel good to her to give them out and was going past her own fear because she felt urged to give them, believing her training which said it was her duty to give them and let the recipient decide what to do with them. She had detachment as her goal here and did not understand how much that was causing her love for Greece to feel pressured and confused until she did not know how to understand then what messages were only for her, what messages were safe to give out and what were not, what messages were Lucifer setting her up to get her in trouble, what were voices of the Ancient Ones following Lucifer's light and what were not, what was My light or even what was the rage that was gathering around her and pressuring her not to hold back. She didn't realize that most of My messages there were intended only for her; fearing that might be self-aggrandizement, she shared them instead.

She feared to the point of going into utter confusion about what was loving and what was not when rage was telling her she really did align with this, shouldn't think she knew better than everyone else what others should be allowed to hear and wasn't being honest to herself or her vows if she did not let it speak her truth as she really saw it there. Rage accused her of being a coward about coming forward with the truth to the point of being dishonest when she did not let it speak. She, the more her fear was growing, also feared more and more that the voice of this rage was right. She was not living up to the mission she felt she had to accomplish there; this rage did know better; she didnt' have what it took.

She had been without conscious awareness of the presence of My light for so long that she did not trust it when I came back to her.

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She needed a long time to sort things out and the presence of Lucifer's light did not help her, either, there. He confused her in every way that he possibly could, and on every level, and told her that she was making herself too important by straying into ego and the flattering voices which they had cautioned her so heavily against in the temple. She had all chakras triggered there.[???????]

Instead of just missing the former head of the temple and longing for him as a father figure to her, I needed her to remember My light, miss My light and look for My light. I did not want her to listen to the Ancient Ones, or worse, Lucifer. I wanted her to long for my light, But what was going to make her turn toward My light? I did not know that she missed Me terribly, because she showed no sign of it and wasn't even looking for Me anymore. She needed to hear about a loving God first and have reassurance that this was so, possibly the direct physical presence of reassurance.

She was strongy feeling how much she was going to miss the former head of the temple when his successor, the Father of Manifestation, was appointed. I had hopes that He and I could heal Our gap there and he, as the head of the temple could be the physical reassurance she needed there. She had loved him since they were children in the temple together and felt that he loved her, although he never said so and felt he was not supposed to, even if he did. The fact that she had so much love and respect for him made a lot of difference to her in her feelings of missing the former head of the temple, and she was glad he had the position, except that he felt more like her equal and less like the guiding figure she felt so in need of now.

He felt more emotional to her than the previous head of the temple, but not as favorably disposed toward her with it as she wished, and she feared it was because he didn't like her emotionality expressing so much of the time. She experienced him as being more kind and gentle with others than he was with her, almost as though he was protecting them from her in some way she did not really understand there, but she was hurt and angered by it, felt jealous and wondered if he really loved her the way she loved him. He was not guiding her the way she wanted him to and was not even coming to her at night anymore for private consultations.

I did not have all of the understandings I needed, but I felt I was on the right track. I was not sure yet who the parental pieces really were in the midst of all of the fragmentation, but having both of them there in those positions was important to My light. I wanted to try them out together and see how that was going to re-

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flect back to My light, It was not until then that I noticed the gap between them.

Until then, I had seen them as unified and against Me. Although I did not yet know how big he charge of held emotion really was, I did know that the held, hidden and unexplained emotion was the problem there, especially the rage that wanted to present a friendly manner, like the former head of the temple had, but still wanted to punish without admitting what it was really doing.

Guilt had taken My old imprinting so far into the gap I had not yet realized the role it was still playing there. I no longer even knew I had old imprinting that blamed her for everything, that went wrong in Creation. I was just starting to shift My position toward Will and Body then, and as far as I knew, I appreciated the opportunity to try to reach the both there. We had many misunderstandings that needed to be replaced with understandings, and I was not sure how to reach them, but I did manage to urge the previous head of the temple, when it looked like there was no one else around who could do the job as well as he could, to appoint the Father of Manifestation as his successor, at the last minute, before he passed over, as was said about death then.

He had an unmoving rage that was his connecting link to Lucifer, and I did not like it there. I did not want to co-exist with it, and it had never made Me welcome to co-exist with it I knew that I was still withholding light from him, but I was not moving My own rage about it and seeing what effect that might have on him. I was only looking at the position he held toward Me there and thought he might deny Me on any thought he did not think he liked and throw it out without looking back, as he had done in original cause. That was My excuse for viewing him as someone I could not say very much to without a reaction to the opposite direction in him and told Myself it was only because he was not ready yet for an intensification of My light. I could not say much to him, either, because when I tried to do so anyway, he did not react favorably and pushed Me back in just the ways I feared he would.

I tried to urge him to move toward the head oracle more, to help her more and to be supportive of her attempts to move the judged against emotions being stirred in her there, but I was not very successful. I tried to urge her, MYself, and when that did not get very far, either, I tried another person there who I should not have tried, but it showed Me something about the rage in the daughters that I had not let Myself notice before.

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The Father of Manifestation was absorbed in his job as the head of the temple and did not like emotional disruption in his life. He loved his life there, and his new position, and felt that he was now finally going to get to do what he had always wanted to do, which was record as much as possible of the knowledge and wisdom of the known world. He was busy with many scribes, recording everything he could , and sending an additional copy off to the library at Alexandria, which he wanted to see grow into something the like of which the world had never seen before. He was making Delphi a gathering point for knowledge in the world, and many people were coming there to talk to him and to others who could record what they had to say.

He had many other duties to perform during the day also, because the temple had become like a small university with many schools of knowledge being taught there, including the religious beliefs and ceremonies of the time, music, the healing arts, which were many ranging from anatomy and herbs to music and color therapy, physical manipulations, massage, along with etheric and spiritual approaches. He was recordng scientific thought of the times, mathematics and astronomy, astrology, the qualities of the basic elements of life and how they inter-related with the Earth and the physical body, all the history that he could find, or recover psychically, and many other subjects. It was exciting for him intellectually, and he was open to many new ideas. While some of it was unpopular, that which was not lost when both of these great libraries were destroyed, has been borne out by much more modern "discoveries." Greek thought was unsurpassed in the world at the time, and he was taking great pride in making Delphi a place of rapid expansion of consciousness.

Music, mathematics, healing and history were the particular passions of the head of the temple at that ime, and at night, he was exciedly looking into the past to see what he could recover there and not into the future at all, while the head oracle was anguished, pacing in her room and wanting to know why he was not coming to her anymore.

It was because he did not like her emotional state, and imprinting was causing him to pull away from her and not even voice this to himself consciously, other than to tell himself he was too busy with the real work of the temple. Instead of feeling into her or looking at her situation there, he was pursuing his own passions with a very young woman, a daughter who seemed to be the most promising student seer, and more and more, they were falling in with

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each other to the exclusion of everyone and everything else, and of course, this slid into sexuality. She had designs on the head oracle's position there, too and was actually more interested in the head of the temple than she was in his studies, but moving along with him was fun, and she liked it.

He used to come to the head oracle often and spend some time with her in all of these ways, but not lately, and as much as she loved him, she feared to go to him and did not at all understand many of the reasons why. She had a fear she only allowed to have a subconscious presence in her that she was going to find out he had another he loved more and only let herself see it then as him not comng to her, and so, she could not feel free to go to him. When she tried, and made hesitant moves toward asking him for his time, he acted impatient and though he had way to many things to do to talk to her about whatever emotions she had going on in the moment. She backed away from him, fearing it was her dark, emotional brooding that was putting him off more than that he really didn't have any time, but in his mind, it was both.

At times, when I managed to urge him to go to her anyway, he felt annoyed and gave her only curt responses and equally curt questions with an air of impatience to leave her presence. He gave some encouragement to her ideas of emotional movement, but not much and only as long as it wasn't much. He had found someone so smiley, young, enthusiastic, admiring of him and pleasant to be around right when the head oracle seemed to grow so dark and brooding.

When he encountered the head oracle in the temple, he said things to her like, "What is going on with you?" in a tone of voice that felt to her like it was judgmental and full of held rage toward her, although she did not have those words then. She feared him there and tried not to bother him anymore, but from the point of view of the rage that was hovering around her, she backed away way too easily, and this rage soon started snapping at him in ways that she feared were going to make him reject her even more. Then, instead of just feeling heartbroken that he was not approaching her differently, she reacted with retorts such as, "I'm not going to tell you unless you approach me differently!"

One time, when he did come back to her and said, "I don't like these men who are coming to you more and more frequently. What are you getting involved in?" she raised her voice to him and said, "If you think I have any choice in the matter, you don't know what you're talking about!"

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Suspicion was rising in him that she was getting sexually entangled with these men, but he said only, "Tell me what is going on! I've seen visions of you having sex with them!"

"No!" she screamed. "That's not possible! I don't even like those men!"

"Well, you must like something about them to be seeing so much of them lately!" he said. She cried and screamed at him that he didn't know what was really happening there, and he did not, because he had not looked farther than to see, in his third eye, her being undressed there when he found her missing from her room one night. The emotional content for him was such that he did not want to look anymore and did not move his emotions of feeling jealous, hurt, rejected and even betrayed. He did not even mention it until now.

"Why didn't you bring this up earlier if you knew about it?" she said to him.

"You never asked me," he said to her. "You never asked me how I felt about anything you ever did."

She was incredulized [sic] by this, knowing full well she had asked him about his feelings on everything to the point where he had told her not to ask him anymore. She looked at him with such disbelief in her eyes of where he could be coming from that he said again, "Tell me what is going on!" but still more sternly than she needed in that moment.

He was thinking this was going to make her talk to him, but she did not tell him what was bothering her even then. She denied again having sex with these men, and the look he gave her that implied he thought she was lying made her so angry that when he said a third time, more angrily, "Tell me what is going on then!" she retorted with, "You don't know what you're asking me to do!"

When he raised his eyebrows at that, instead of managing to say that she wanted to tell him, but he was hurting her so much with this accusation that she did not see how she could trust him enough or he trust her enough, she could only blurt out, "You're just angry that they're not asking or telling you anything!"

When he turned to leave in response to that comment, she already regretted what was happening between them there but didn't know herself anymore why she couldn't manage to get anything out of her mouth that she really wanted to say. What she really wanted to say was something more like "If you already think that way about me, what are you going to say about anything else I might say," or even that she was really angry that he wasn't

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asking or telling her anything that she felt she could really respond to, but she said, "Or are you just jealous because I'm not paying attention to you and your stupid books anymore?" She really meant she was jealous, because she thought he was only paying attention to his writings and not concerned enough about her anymore to notice this in the right way.

She immediately regretted not telling him anything there to let him know how desperate for help she really was there, and he only reacted to her surface presentation, which was hardly her own personality anymore, and hardly a hint that he could pick up on there that she desperately needed his help. She regretted it more and more, too, because the next time she saw him, he was even less open to her than he had been in that moment.

She felt almost totally abandoned by him and was not able to move her rage, the heartbreak or the terror for fear that he was going to say it was the emotional movement itself that was the problem there. She felt she could not even say she was afraid, because he was going to ask her to be specific and explain this to him at a word level, which she dared not do and could not do to the depth she neeeded to there. Being able to do that would have needed the emotional movement she feared to allow herself there.

When his lack of openness toward her persisted, she began to feel even more enraged at him and said things at times such as, "Don't pressure me like this; just go away if you are going to be like that!" which he all too easily did. He pulled back, felt turned off and went well away, since her rage was even more repellent to him in his imprinting than the rest of her emotional turmoil.

When the head of the temple did not feel to her to be receptive of her emotional state, and she feared she was without his support, she did not feel there was any way she could safely express emotions in the temple anymore. Everyone else in the temple seemed only to be following his lead when, earlier, they had acted like they were more tolerant of her emotions. But especially now that there was any rage involved, she felt the reflection keenly that they were really very rejecting of her emotions and wanted to take "the sight" [???] as all that was needed there.

She was crying for help in every way that she dared or knew how to there, and they were givng her only silence and withdrawal as a response, or were saying things like "You don't have to feel it, just look at it," which they had said to her so many times, when she would be crying or quaking as she looked with her inner eye, that she really feared what their response would be if she