I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"

Shifra was again among those proposed for dismissal.
The ugliness of this process triggers me more and more.
How can each one come out of the "confession-room",
where s/he was to propose his/her 2 candidates for dismissal,
and then intermingle with the group again?
Look into the eyes of whom I've just denounced, betrayed.
Is there anything I should do about making the organizers of Big Brother aware?

Shifra, even before she knew she would be a candidate,
was - unlike her - shattered by the way, Yossi and Einav related to her.
In the confession-room she almost cried:
"No matter , what I do, say or am,
there are people who just cannot stand me."
I so much identified with her
and I was so sad, that the monster of Ashkenazi Jews vs. Sephardic Jews
still ravages even this community,
I learnt about the expression "the Friedmannim", [her name is "Kornfeld"...]
She is the one who is relatively aware of herself,
which, of course, has to do also with her family, i.e. her ethnic background.
She doesn't believe that she is "more" than Yossi and Einav, his daughter,
but those believe they are "less", and they project this lack of selfesteem on her.
And this is, what Shifra needs to learn: that no matter what she does and who she is,
the "Cains" in her environment will hate her,
and so what she would need to do, if she were not dependent on them,
was to keep out of their way so as not to trigger the hole in their wholeness.
But she IS dependent on them as they are dependent on her
So the only thing she can do in this situation,
and I wished I could give her this information,
is to be aware and understanding of what is happening,
and - when she feels triggered-back -
to heal her own hole of "I'm not worthy"
and not project it on them.
But who on earth is as whole as that ?
Probably not even I, after all, all the healing I've done.

By the way, the assignment with those flashy garments,
which coincided with my work on the miraculous "byssus",
was about mutual dependency:
Two people - in this case Yossi and Shai -
had to move an omega above a very twisted tube,
without touching it.
Try as they might, they touched it time and again,
and every time the rest of the community got electrified.
It wasn't dangerous, but so hard, that Ranin said:
"To engage in a Jewish-Palestinian talk is preferable..."
The failing of 2 people hurt the other 7,
even if one of them was in the confession-room
talking to the Big Brother.
I was reminded of one of the parables of the ancient rabbis,
for explaining, how "All Israel vouchsafe for each other":
People sit in a boat on the sea and one is drilling a hole into the boat's bottom.
"Are you crazy?" "What do you want! I'm drilling at the spot where I sit alone!"
"But when the water will enter the boat through your hole, we'll all drown!"

When Big Brother asked in the confession-room:
"If you would get the private suite tonight,
whom would you want to share it with?"
Everyone wanted someone else, not each other
(even Vanessa didn't ask for Itai, but for someone else),
except Shifra who wanted Tzabar,
and Tzabar who wanted Shifra.
I was glad .