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52 days of Moving and E-volving Emotions Manual - 34th day, August 2002
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2014 |
er it's "larmin
The FELT days 131, 132, 133, 134 ~ of the next 15 FELT years
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1
5 y e a r s = 5 4 8 0 days
of g e f u e h l t e - g e f u e l l t e Z e i t "inmitten der Ewigkeit", f e l t - f i l l e d t i m e "amidst eternity" from the beginning of my 76th till the completion of my 90th year [unless I'll die after all] The feeling chosen from a day is exhibited in max. 7 lines per day since August 28, 2013 On 6 days of the week I learn, but Shabbat is dedicated to my main feeling: grate-full-ness. Since feelings must be vibrated~ wombed, each day closes with a song, fitting the 7 lines To challenge myself like that -while not knowing what will be "staged" in my personal and in the world's drama till 2028 , exhilarates me! |
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January 9, 2014
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This would be the birthday
of my great friend. Annemarie Mayer. Her husband, Reinhold Mayer opened my eyes to Holocaust, to Judaism and to Israel, but she taught me to focus on "filling the small circle", which will then expand in time. And, indeed, this I've done: 4 years alone with and in my mobile home Succah in the Desert, while still living in my bus, 3 months on the desert earth of Sinai, including 2 weeks of testing the Rihlah 3 weeks near the terminal of Aqaba-Eilat, perfecting the Pyramidal Tent, 6 months in my bus at the shore of the Red Sea, with the 4 Nation-Tent , living in my tent - like Tamir's in his - for 8 months, the "Concrete Succah" and "David's Tent Palace" in Ein-Gedi, under a triangle netshade at the Salt-Sea + sweetwater pond for 3 1/2 months, in my tent in my daughter's garden at Modi'in for 5 winter months, in my cave at Noah's shore for 4 winter months, on the hills of "Rakhaf" - both in the east and in the west - for 5 months. |
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Hasn't the time come, Annemarie,
for all these circles to expand and enhance all of Israel's desert and then all the deserts of the Middle East, yes , of the Earth? |
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"Malen
ist weglassen", Painting is to omit! when I searched for putting a link to Max Liebermann I detected a painting (1879) I had never seen , and why should a Jewish painter paint this scene anyway? 12 year old Jesus teaches in the temple. [New Testament, Luke] I see one listener sceptical and haughty, while the other feels that the child's words resonate with him. May I experience only the latter kind! |
 Craving for a daily "sign from Heaven" I also found this: "Google" sometimes inserts an image or an animation, so that I won't get stuck in the routine of opening G-mail. "By chance" I saw several TV-scenes with birds and eggs! May my eggs hatch soon |
| More to "Painting is to omit": ... das Buch "Mimesis" von Auerbach vergleicht Homer mit dem 1. Buch Mose, besonders die Opferung Isaaks. Homer gibt in seiner Odyssee jede Einzelheit, die Bibel jedoch laesst alles imDunkel. Gott sprach: Abraham! Abraham sprach: hier bin ich. Es steht nicht da, wie es moeglich war, dass Gott ploetzlich bei Abraham war, wo ueberhaupt das Gespraech stattfand, wie Abraham aussah, warum Gott auf die Idee kam, Abraham zu versuchen usw. Nur dadurch ist auch die Moeglichkeit zur Interpretation gegeben fuer alle Zeiten, Homer kann man nicht interpretieren. |
| I've never thought of this. I felt, that I was feeling vicariously what others cannot yet feel. But that I'm actually feeling what they feel right now, this has to be explored. |
From
today's group-email from "Aluna" "We have begun to see many gifts of being in unity consciousness, but we have also been blindsided by the agonizing pitfalls of being ONE with the emotions of the entire planet while the human race is still processing hard. Oneness has not been as fun as we had anticipated ~~~ but it will be eventually. Do we even know if what we are feeling right now is ours or part of the unified whole?" |
Efrat
told about Mika: In the commercial part of TV Channel 2 it is advertised, that we should get rid of discrimination and while a distorted "Ha-Tikva" , Israel's hymn, is heard, the last sentence is: "Our hope (tikva) is not yet lost." One of the scenes shows an Ethiopian child, which is not allowed to enter a kindergarden. While Imma kissed Mika Good Night, Mika said: : "It must be bitter in your mouth now!" "Why?" "because I've cried tears! That poor Ethiopian child! I cannot stand it that it suffers so much." |
While working with utmost concentration on the
"Representation of the Mobile Desert Hosting Economy",
I feel overwhelmed by the amount of images I find on "Healing-K.i.s.s.",
which illustrate the R&D of the vision.
Just now (8 AM) I had the idea, that if I have doubts concerning the insert
of an image, subtitle or composition
but don't have the rigor to let go of it, I can insert them on this page.
To paint is to omit, said
Max Liebermann!
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RECALLING
experiences towards
the MANIFESTATION of the MOBILE DESERT HOSTING
ECONOMY
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2014: My pathetic, pitiable surrendering to the advice of "important"
friends,
that a "Company" had to be set up, caused uncountable problems and
pains
as can be seen from my remark in 2002:
The lesson that has to be learnt for the Mobile Desert Hosting Enterprises:
Every group of 12 enterprises will be connected by an "Amutah",
an NGO,
but every single Ohalah/Rihlah/Pyramidion will be economicly independent!
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RECALLING
experiences towards
the MANIFESTATION of the MOBILE DESERT HOSTING
ECONOMY  "But then we felt even a bit hilarious and suggested, that we should burn the contract of the Company, and that we should do it in a special ceremony." [Desert Peace Process 2002, 4th part] |
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RECALLING 
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ENVISIONING Desert Economy Solidarity 
to be inserted in the Presentation of the Mobile Desert Hosting Economy |
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Lessons
from the experiment "Succah in the Desert" 2002_10_29
; last update: 2002_11_03
Israel's history has been following this concept. My thoughtless use of the terms "testament"
and "bequeathal" After my decision to leave "Succah in the Desert"
in October 1994,  from Desert Peace-Process 5 |
Testing the Pyramidal Tent
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 At the Terminal Eilat-Aqaba, for 3 weeks Kibbutz Elot allowed me to park on their land In front of my mobile home, Dr. David Troim and I create the 4th generation of the tent |
January 10, 2014
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Recalling Succah
From "Introduction
to a Desert Vision" "The second most important experience at Mitzpe-Ramon Though he was absolutely opposed to my "project" ["Man
will be forever the enemy of nature"] ,
When I parted from "Roibe" I was happy to have found my
match,
The day I learnt about this death,
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Exploring
I am moved
I forgot, |
January 11, 2014, Shabbat
Jahêl,
the new enrichment of the planet together with facebook photos of my
two eldest grandchildren, Elah and Jonathan 
Danke, Tamar, Seid gesegnet ~~~~~~~~~~ |
 
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RECALLING
experiences towards
the MANIFESTATION of the MOBILE DESERT HOSTING
ECONOMY From: The Ohalah/Rihlah as a Training-Space for Dreamers 1995, re-written for Gadi and Efrat in 2002 see also "Training Dreamers on Noah's Shore', also in pyramidal tents , and "Training Dreamers Economy"  to be continued |
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Discussion/Dialogue
with Gadi about the Ohalah/Rihlah Vision
in der schoepferische Menschen sich ueben, mit den verschiedenen Aspekten der sog. "Realitaet" um zugehen, bis sie faehig sind, ihre Traeume zu verwirklichen, egal ob diese mit der Wueste was zu tun haben oder nicht." (Rachel 1993). |
Since I want to experience Shabbat outside my routine,
I allow myself to blindly pick clippings from my wooden treasure-box
and create compositions, which illuminate what is still relevant for me.
Not about the Desert but about the Sea:
"The Hurt Sea- February 1955",
an excerpt from an essay by Jennie Greig, then a mother of 3 children and laborer in a factory,
who hosted me for a little money in August 1956 around my 18th birthday, at Dover in England
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and saucy speed boats brimful of happy holiday makers. I see the warm
pebbles scattered with groups of merry folks. One group I recognize.
A serene quiet young woman, especially dear for this calming and enviable
quality; a plump one, regarding her petite young friend with envious
but unjealous admiration, as she lays unconcerned basking in the sun.
And now they take the plunge, there are several of them, revelling in
this break in the day's routine, and enjoying the first shock as their
sunwarmed limbs meet the coolness, striking out with a sense of confident
achievement as the water makes way for their movement. There is a wonderful
sense of companionship between those sharing this swim.Then a picnic,
communal meal on the beach in damp pleasure to follow, and the comfort
in lazily watching the children, brown and right-eyed, and blissfully
happy, needing no adult to help them pass the day. I am walking on now, so bemused am I, that I splash through a huge puddle, soaking my shoes and stockings - but have not come back yet, so do not notice it. Now, I've come to that part of the beach, where one day, for all that I love my friends, and their company, I needed only to be alone with my thoughts and solitary gloom, for my heart was heavy with a grief I could not share. There it was I swam with them and then swam on and on, and you dear Sea, dear kind Sea, gave me, in the midst of crowds, that privacy I needed so, so that I could allow those hopeless tears, held back all day, to mix with your own saltiness, to give myself up for a few moments to the sheer misery of hidden unhappiness, so that the relief of it let me swim back to the others, and carry on again, with the pain eased, and the ache, though with me still, camouflaged a little. It's fading now, the summer scene, and I'm aware again of the beating and booming and restless tossing round me. I'm wishing that someone I care for, someone who sees things in the same sort of way - a kindred spirit - could share the beauty with me, for it is too wonderful to experience alone. But I'm cold now, and I must get along - I wonder if I can ever find a way to tell any of you - my friends, the dear ones, or the darests - about the seafront today, so that you can see it as I have, and I can after all, share the glory with you? |
| "...but
she, who for already 6 years had not been allowed to speak or to laugh, did not defend herself againt the defamation, but was wholly immersed in sowing the six skirts from star-flowers, the work of redemption" |
In my wooden box, the fantastic
creation of Adam
Rosenzweig, I found this excerpt from "Sleeping Beauty" glued to an image from "The Six Swans". What touched me in both, was - and is - the combination of total dedication and courage to work for a vision, a desire , a goal, together with the surrender to "Right Timing". When the prince run to wake up the princess, exactly one hundred years had passed! |
January
1962 - Heidelberg, Germany: a drawing of me made during a lesson - by Klaus-Martin Bender, a student in the same course: "Teaching Christian Religion" 
"Ich weiss nicht , durch welche Taetigkeit Gott dereinst die Menschen wieder zusammenfuehren wird. Wir setzen grosse Hoffnungen auf Disputationen, Konferenzen, Tagungen. Aber es kann etwas ganz Anderes sein. Es wird einem gelingen, der gar nicht daran gedacht hat. Vielleicht singt einer nur ein Lied . (Josef Wittig) "Die ersten Maenner, welche diese Bewegung beginnen, werden schwerlich ihr ruhmvolles Ende sehen. Aber schon durch das Beginnen kommt ein hoher Stolz und das Glueck der innerlichen Freiheit in ihr Dasein." (Herzl, Judenstaat) |
January
22, 1962 - Israel, Rafael's love-poem for Christa in Heidelberg. Exactly a year later, on Jan. 23, 1963, a son was born to us in Heidelberg 
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Aus
"Brot fuer
die Welt":
Wie Jesus heilte: Markus 10:46-52. Wo man das Wuenschen lernt. Bartimaeus schreit laut, d.h. er hat das Gefuehl, dass es anders werden muss. ... stoert andre.... Jesus bleibt stehen. ...Wenn einer sich unterbrechen laesst und innehaelt, schafft er die Voraussetzung dafuer, dass ein andrer aus sich herausgehen kann. Es wird erzaehlt, Bartimaeus habe seinen Mantel von sich geworfen, sei aufgesprungen und sei zu Jesus gekommen. Wer sich bewegt, wer geht, muss etwas zuruecklassen. Gesundwerden ist nicht ein Bekommen dessen, was einen fehlt, sondern auch ein Loslassen. Man kann fragen, was fehlt mir, um heil zu werden. Man kann auch fragen, was habe ich zuviel, um heil zu werden.... ICH SAGEN ... In allen Heilungsgeschichten des Neuen Testaments folgt auf die Stufe der Naehe, wo Jesus innehaelt und sich auf den Kranken einlaesst, eine zweite...Jesus fragt. Er tut nicht so, als ob er alles schon wissen wuerde. Der Kranke soll wollen und wuenschen duerfen. Weil der Kranke, 'Ich' sagen soll, fragt Jesus: "Was willst du, dass ich dir tun soll?"....Eine Therapie, in der der Kranke nicht nur ein Es ist, sondern ein Ich wird. Bartimaeus hat den Sinn der Frage verstanden, denn er antwortet: "dass ich sehen kann". Jesus bestaetigt die Antwort, indem er nicht etwa festellt, ich habe dir geholfen, sondern: "Gehe hin, dein Glaube hat dir geholfen." Jesus lehrt die Menschen das Wuenschen, wenn er sie heilt. Wunschlos ist immer das Unglueck. Das Wuenschen gehoert zum Gesundwerden, weil es die Seele und den Leib sich bewegen laesst. In vielen ....Maerchen heisst es, sie haetten einen Wnsch frei. Wer wuenscht, bringt sich auf einen Weg.... Das Gebet ist so etwas wie die Schule der Wuensche. ["Bread for the World" granted us the money for a 11 day training-seminary of "Partnership" at Nes-Amim in 1978] |
Karl
Wolfskehl Am Seder zu sagen About the plight of for ever being outcasts of the Jewish people throughout history Immer wieder - wenn vom Wanderstaube Muede wir geruht in Andrer Laube Riss der andern Faust uns auf voll Drohn Ihr gehoert nicht her - macht euch davon! Immer wieder. Immer wieder wenn in Werk und Taen Helfer Deuter wir zu andern traten liessen sie sichs eine Zeit gefallen Sperrten danklos dann uns Haus und Hallen Immer wieder wenn wir uns vergassen Selig singend mit den Andern sassen Fiel in unsern Wein Tropfen Lauge Traf uns boeser Blick aus kalten Auge. Immer wieder wenn wir glaeubig trauten Hart am Abgrund unsere huetten bauten Wankt' uralter Fels - zerbrach der First: Merke, dass du nirgends heimisch wirst. Immer wieder! Immer wieder bei der Hoelle Sieden schreien wir zum Herrn, uns au befrieden Will dein Wort nicht Wurzel in uns schlagen Endlich die gelobten Fruechte tragen? |
The
sad poem by the old Adam
Rosenzweig, Franz Rosenzweig's uncle, a wood-engraver, to whom I owe the marvellous wooden box, in which I keep clippings like these three Ich habe den ganzen Kram so satt Ich weiss ja, alles ist vergebens Das Herz so leer, das Auge matt Verdorrt das Mark des innern Lebens Mir fehlt die Kraft, mich aufzuschwingen Die Fluegel sind zu frueh gestutzt Erfolg muss meine Kaempfe kroenen Das Glueck muss unsre Waffen weihn Ich sah mich ueberall verhoehnen Misslungen ist mein ganzes Sein Wohl weiss ich viel, trag ich die Schuld Mein Wollen war stets rein und gut Nur hatt' ich leider mehr Geduld Als Energie und Tatenmut Ich schaute mehr auf mein Gemuet Als auf die Zeit und meine Kraefte Ich wollte, dassmein Acker blueht Und nicht des Saemanns schwer Geschaefte Ich glaubt, es sei genug getan Stets frei zu sein und rein zu streben Und zahlte diesen Jugendwahn Mit meinem Glueck und meinem Leben Stets ueberschaetzt von milden Seelen Stes tasten, niemals festen Tritt Stets suchen, immer nur verfehlen, Stets wandern, halten jeden Schritt Zurueck gedraengt der Sinne Triebe Und stolz auf diesen schweren Sieg Genoss ich keins Maedchens Liebe Verschmaeht ich jede Sinnenliebe Ich fuehlt, ich traeumte stes und schwieg Nun ist's vorbei, hab nichts erworben Hab keine Lust und keine Hab Mein geistig Leben ist gestoren So gebt denn auch dem Leib sein Grab |
| 1978
- my daughter Ronnit about the State of Israel and the vital need for Jews and Palestinians "to live together in this land" |
1994
- my son Immanuel, with the help of Gadi's photo and studio, created a brochure about Succah in the Desert. How great, that it's not a succah that is shown but a pyramidal tent! |
January 12, 2014
Today is the day, on which Gadi had to deliver
his curriculum vitae etc. in response to the 10 min. later I felt I really wanted to get up and
get ready, |
 The two clippings I quote below, were glued to a page of a pocket calendar of Febr. 1995. one which I found written, what I had advised the man I loved, and whom I had convinced, that despite his age (46) it was vital for his self-confidence, to achieve a driver's license. I taught him how to cope with SHAME, to the extent, that he won over even his teenager sons to support him with all their might. 
This overpowering shame, which I know, too, but to which I do not surrender, appeared in other contexts, too, and in 1998 almost put an end to our relationship (which should have ended anyway, but not because of such a pretext, but by mutual agreement, which occurred only in Oct. 1999): He was with me at the Red Sea. Our common friend, Ya'acov Hayat, also came with his family to a Pesach-holiday in "their" hotel. When Ya'acov visited at the bus, we all wanted to enter the sea. Ya'acov asked a neighbor in a tent, to carry him from his wheelchair into the water. The man whom I loved did not enter. He was ashamed of his thin arms... It was then, that I felt contempt, what contrast between his surrender to shame, and Ya'acov's strength to face his shame ever since his affliction with Polio at the age of 2. |
Spiral stairs always fascinate me, the more so a double spiral staircase! How easy is it now, to find lots of perspectives on the Internet!
[added on Jan. 18, 2014: See what the Pleiades say about the spiral in particular and other geometrical "implants" in general]
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In pyramidal tents - made of 2 kinds of netshade, -of bamboo-poles and plastic threads there doesn't seem to be a chance for spirals. And yet see what is hanging from the roof-shade above the hosting-space in the Four Nation Tent at the Red Sea in Eilat, with me and Fawwaz, an Arab host and David Morris, an American Jew, a prevented singer, whose casette I still listen to! This space is - as I see it now- a model of the "Mishkan" the hosting center of the future Ohalah/Rihlah/Pyramidion. Why shouldn't there, too, hang a wooden spiral in the center from above??? That spiral, a gift from my daughter, when I visited them in Boulder, Colorado, in 1995, is still hanging from the triangle netshade on my veranda at Arad, as it was hanging on my veranda at Modi'in and in my Cave on Noah's shore. See many images on Rotem's 15th birthday |
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I explore "Partnership2Gether"
especially the project called "Masa" They started 18 years ago, perhaps just after I left the Succayah and started to sleep in one of the mobile tent , already discarded, because of the flaws in the materials of the first R&D generation, which composed the compound, which I attached to my mobile home.  
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