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 The Purpose  of   HEALING - K.I.S.S.

- as stated 12 years ago - was and is

  to help me and my potential P E E R s 

"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,

and - by extension - all of CREATion!"
Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013
and Overview of its main libraries

[If you look for a word on this page,
click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]

I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'

pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"





See below:

The photos of the "WALK ABOUT LOVE 2009" ~continued from~ Godchannel.com - Channeling Class Discussion
which accompany
my graphical edition of the Godchannel files
in the chronological order in which they were given.



Answers to e-mail questions, channeled in the year 1998

Healing Class III Discussion

Who is the Healer?

You are what it's all about.

How do you love hatred?

New Heart Emerging

Sex and Love and Healing

Contributor's Response to Sex and Love and Healing

Beware of Reversals and the Gap

Reversals from the Mother's Side of the Gap

Separating Asuras from Mother Essence

Judgment Release and the Role of Spirit in the Healing Process

Waking Up

On Moving Fear

Wholeness and Parenting Self

On Belonging to Groups

Additional Discussion in the Healing Class area of the GodChannel Forum


I fear being lost in love
Should I leave my husband for my own healing
The New Road begins here
Can you give me some real help?
On Healing Hopelessness

I fear being lost in love.

"Pure hooey hooey hooey".....God I love hearing that from God. Welcome to us now!

"Sometimes the vernacular is the best way to express an emphatic thought.
The channelers here wince whenever my expression stops the spell checker,
but this medium is informal enough to allow linguistic honesty, so why not?"

And yes, I want to help and I am helping to do my part
in reclaiming my lost spirit essence
and aligning it with my will's desire
to give birth to heart in manifestation.
I offer myself to become who I really am,
a gem of the Heart of Creation.
I align myself with you, God,
in this intention for wholeness
and in my work to unite with the Mother in me.
This is my life's purpose.
I'm following you on this one, Baby,
on the road to becoming god-of-myself.

"Well, welcome aboard the backward express.
I hasten to mention
that in your wholeness you are
more than a mere gem of the Heart of Creation.

You are the Heart of Creation.
And as a whole human being
you will not merely be in manifestation,
you will be manifesting,
both yourself and the world."

It's a process of back and forth for me,
back and forth between my will self and my spirit self ~
to build the heart bridge
that is becoming wholesome SELFLOVE.
I related to your original cause story
where we expanded in a burst of light
to push away from feeling engulfed by the Mother.
Oh how we feared losing ourselves to love.

"Yes, I told this story
to help those of the Spirit polarity
find the root of this issue.

Until we can come to terms with our fundamental fears
they will stay in denial,
along with the guilt and judgments that infect them.

Bringing this to the surface and facing it is the first step in healing it.


"Another reason for the story of the 'mirror'
was to point out two other fundamental qualities of Spirit
in relation to the Mother
that need to be improved upon.
Did you notice these two problem qualities in that story?

"A precursor to predatory behavior
is the ability to look upon someone as a 'thing' to be used.
Also, that fascination I had with my own reflection
is now endemic in the Spirit polarity,
and has come to be called narcissism.
Long before I knew it was any kind of a problem,
I found myself quite natural
at being a narcissistic user of feminine essence.
While wholesome self love is now seeming possible,
we still have a long way to come, baby."


Still today I sense these fears
and original imprinting going on in my relationship with my wife.
I fear losing my Self in opening to and uniting with her.
I feel to be in a stand off,
scared to move away for what I may lose
and scared to go closer for being trapped.
I'm really starting to fully understand
how this is a PROCESS I am in,
this life of learning and evolution.
And how the process is now leading me to go back
to reclaim all the lost essence of myself,
both spirit and will essence ~
and how in so many ways my relationship with my wife
reflects both my own internal relationship with my own Mother essence
as well as the universal struggle for Heart to be born.
Like you say ~as within so without.


"The really interesting thing about this principle is
that you can work on either side of it.
Outer changes effect inner reality,
inner changes effect outer reality.
Which side do you think is easier to change
and has the more powerful effects


"Also, it's good
that you're using the opportunity of your relationship
to get more understanding of what's been going on inside of you.

The way you understand and experience your relationship
says volumes about you and almost nothing about your wife,
for she has her own understandings and her own process.

"Too often people on a healing path
will find blame in their spouse or relationship partner,
and look no further for the cause of the problem.
Their progress is stalled because they believe
the other must somehow change or heal
before the union they both seek is possible.
It's good to remember that guilt and blame are a continuum,
and the only hope of healing is
to bring the locus of control and responsibility
back into yourself.

Judgment release is key to moving through these kinds of stuck places."

In my self-healing work,
a place I've had confusion and deep struggle with
is the process of untangling denied spirit essence
that wants life and needs to move back into love
from the asuric essence that only wants death.
For me, the only way I've been able to know for sure
is by feeling deeply these essences.
But this has meant vibrating in places
where it feels like no love at all exists,
which is horrible,
and then allowing these feelings
to move into a new experience of acceptance, healing and love.
As one of the Right Use of Will books you subtitled says:
vibrating heartlessness to let heart in.

"Horrible is the right word for it,
a combination of terror and dread.
Further, that non-essence
that is desperately seeking death
wants you to align with it.
Even worse, rescuing the denied spirit essence
that needs redemption
often requires you to find acceptance for the parts of yourself
that have until now
been aligned with the asuras' quest for death and destruction.
This work is not for the faint of heart,
and yet no heart exists in these realms."

And sometimes I feel so raw and vulnerable from such experiences
that I'm confused about
whether this is actually helping me to heal
or causing more suffering.
Your reminders about strengthening my intention to align with you in this
and about using judgment release
has given me much of what I feel I need to make it through,
yet still I fear the asuric essence that remains with me
subversively creating my death.


pp6 and pp8 pp32
"The test of whether an experience is moving toward healing
or toward more suffering is in its outcome.
If the outcome is the same or worse than it was last time,
then it's a reenactment and it has further entrenched the suffering.
If the outcome is somehow different,
perhaps with more understanding or awareness,
then it's moving toward healing.

"This is why judgment release is so important at this level of the work.
It turns reenactments into learning experiences,
and brings new Light to the situation.
With the judgments and their effects of guilt and blame gone,
both the spirit and magnetic essence
that was previously trapped in a pattern of reenactment
can now move into a new experience."

I fear I won't make it in time ~
that this unloving force has more power than the rest of me does.
I dread to experience death again
and yet it feels like this healing means
going into near death
to save the parts of me
that have been unmoving and trapped there.
I am learning
that You are here for me to support this process
so that it does bring healing rather than another downfall,
yet still there are moments I feel lost and without love.
Any other suggestion to help me here?

"You have all the information you need,
now for a method.
The easiest and surest approach is to work gradually,
one step at a time.
Your fear of the asuras
and the fear that you won't make it in time
are both in alignment with fears the Mother has,
and the dread of death is a constant source of pain to her.

"You can use the alignment
that you have found with me
to help bring Light and acceptance to the magnetic essence
that is experiencing this.
True Sacrifice is a good metaphor for how to do this.
When you've moved the fears and dread,
you'll be much more able
to tolerate the intense pressure and heat
surrounding the parts of yourself
that are still trapped in death's doorway.
Just remember to ignore the 'welcome' sign
that hangs there, and bring them back alive.

"Feeling lost and without love
seems to be a standard feature in all beings who reflect Deity,
and is most notable in humans.
Obviously it's important
to move these feelings before going deeper in this vein.
The imprints here are of two basic types,
spirit and magnetic.
Strange but true,
it's the spirit imprints that are the more difficult in this case.

"This is because I had denied them for so long.
The Mother has been well acquainted with these feelings in herself,
but I retreated into Ahriman
when I first felt them after the explosion
that ripped the Mother apart and separated her from me.
As Ahriman, it didn't bother me at all
that she and the love we shared were gone.

"It's good to find and move the deep loneliness of Spirit
before attempting to be helpful to the Mother here.
If you don't know already where to look,
I suggest the Spirit side of the charred ruins of Original Heart
as the place to start."

Thanks again for sharing your learning process here with me
and fulfilling the parts of me
that crave feeling connected and supported,
even if it is not yet a completely heart-whole experience.
In myself I now look and feel to experience
the fruition of Grandfather's Plan.
I love you as best I can!

"Love happens.
And your best is very good, indeed.
You know how damaged Heart is,
and you know it's your responsibility to heal that damage.
You know love from the dark side.
And as Brave Heart in search of healing
you've gone purposefully into the Gap between the Mother and me
that was created in the explosion,
and gone down to the bottom,
where death waits for a way to realize itself.

"Most important,
you've come back to tell about it,
and you've even found a way
to ask for pointers on improving your work
the next time you go down.
And the next time, I'll accompany you farther than I ever have.
You and your Desire in your realm,
and me and mine in ours,
together we'll realize the fruition of Grandfather's Plan."


Should I leave my husband for my own healing?

In my marriage I face many of the judgments, fears, & hostilities
that you have mentioned as having yourself toward the Mother.
I am continuously opening to loving light,
then crushed and/or exploded by unloving light.
I know that my husband has intent to heal,
but it's not happening very quickly (at least that's the feeling).
I have noticed that you have warned the Mother's polarity away from this site
because the judgments that you still hold,
and the denied light still present with you is continuing to hurt the Mother.

"Yes, it's my denials in the form of
Lucifer and Ahriman that harm the Mother
The denied spirit essence,
still out of my awareness
and not aligned with my intentions
often carries judgments against the Mother.
Denied light, particularly Lucifer,
has stayed very close to fragments of the Mother
and has often been successful in convincing her
that she has no spirit of her own,
and that I will always harm her,
regardless of my professed intentions.

"When I come too close to the Mother
while still in denial of these spirit fragments,
she feels my good Light as the bait in 'bait and switch',
and believes I'm being contradictory
and trying to torture her
by first showing her love and acceptance,
and then rejection and denial.
And of course, while I still have denials, I am.
So far, these kinds of relations have all ended
with the Mother feeling denied by me.
This is why I must first redeem my denied light
before I can approach the most tortured parts of the Mother.

"This is a very old pattern,
and its reenactments
are the single most damaging element
in the relationship between the Mother and me.
The difference between now, and all the times before, is
that I'm now aware that this is my problem.
I used to think that the Mother wasn't perceiving me correctly,
and I looked for ways to 'fix' her,
instead of looking to my own denials.

"My warning the Mother away from my Light on this web site
is an attempt to take the 'bait', and hopefully the sting,
out of the old unconscious pattern of 'bait and switch'.
It's also a way to affirm
that my truest presence is not available to her
through this indirect, ahrimanic medium.
Spirit and Desire can unite on Earth
only in direct, personal inner contact.
Heart presence is the result of our union,
and Real Heart or New Heart are only possible
when we come together without denials
and in complete, open, honest loving."

My question is,
I know that it is hurting me in those same ways to continue my marriage,
(but it would hurt not to continue) ~
we are both learning,
but is it better for me
to be alone at this time in my process of healing?
And should I make the children's welfare a priority over my own?
It seems that each time I feel the need to leave,
the happiness and safety that the children feel
keeps me present here.
Please help me ~ guide me ~
I have free will, I am free will,
but I am unsure of the best path to wholeness,
and I could use your loving advice.

"Your dilemma is the Mother's as well.
Relating with me is often hurtful to her
as we work together to heal
the lost, burned and broken Heart between us.
Even the part of her that likes me the most
often asks to be alone,
so she can safely go to the depths of her being,
where my Light is still unable to reach.

She returns somehow renewed
and better able to continue our relating,
and of course I am very happy to give her leave
whenever she needs to go.
In fact, it's always her choice to relate or not.
You also need to be alone at times,
and it's important that this be honored
by both you and your husband, and your children.

"Over the eons the Mother and I have both used
the welfare of the 'children' as the reason
we should be good to each other,
and work together
to resolve our issues.
Of course, the children are best served
when we're being real and true to ourselves,
and not pretending or 'making do'
in an attempt to protect them from the pain of our separations.

"You are experiencing the slow, difficult hurt
of not being fully accepted and understood,
as well as the occasional explosions you mention.
If you were to also experience abuse,
you would know what to do.
You would, of course, separate to protect yourself.
However, as you are safe from intentional harm,
you are left with a situation
where the triggers are often more than you can manage.

You and your husband are in a similar place in your relationship
as the Mother and I are in ours.

"You may know more about the whole situation
and what's necessary for healing, and how to go about it.
He may know only a very little.
You don't want to have to teach him as if he were your child.
And yet if you do, he can learn more quickly.
Like me, he needs to learn more about redeeming his own denials.
You can help him by gently, and with permission, pointing them out to him.
Get him to ask you to help him.
There's something very good about teaching, by the way.
Teaching someone how to do something
is the very best way to learn it for yourself.

"The path to wholeness is really not a 'path' at all,
but rather a way of being.
I've called it 'driving backwards' to make the point
that your deepest interests are best served
when you relinquish control,
or the illusion of control,
to a deeper inner guidance.

pp1 and pp1b
As you turn away from the future
and look back upon your life
and your relationship,
you can reap some very important benefits

"First, you can collect into your heart
more of the learnings and goodness
that you've accumulated so far.

Second, you can more easily be present here in the eternal now,
trusting and waiting for what's next,
without the bother of expectation or dread.
Whatever is next will come,
and with it will be another key to your healing.
When something happens that a decision is appropriate,
the right choice will be clear.

And third, you put yourself in direct alignment
with the stream of grace from Grandfather.


"Your longing for deeper acceptance and understanding
will not go unfulfilled.

For now, you may realize that waiting is yet another teacher,
and the lesson is a necessary one.

And you know
that your healing into wholeness
is best served
by staying in relationship for now,
while taking all the time you need to be alone.

There is much more to this, of course,
and it will all become more clear over time,
with more communication between us on the inside."


The New Road Begins Here


Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes ~
I say yes to these lessons you are giving, GOD.
I feel so grateful to feel in myself an alignment with you
in choosing to reclaim the Mother essence
we have so heavily denied.
Although I have had many moments
of feeling the total hopelessness and helplessness
of realizing a loving Creation,
I must say that this moment
I feel very hopeful and inspired
being part of our amazing recovery.
I give thanks to you and all others
that are moving now
to take back and heal their lost wills.
Your healings help me to heal.

"As your efforts help my healing."

Over and over again I come to places in myself
where I recognize that these original imprints
are being reenacted in my life daily
and each time it affirms to me
that there is nothing more important
than breaking these unloving habits and healing my desire.

I get the sense how I am,
and each of us are,
pieces of God,
and the greatest gift we have
is to take responsibility for what is ours
and heal into wholeness.
I envision the scattered and broken pieces of a puzzle
gradually, by their own free will,
coming back together
to find their own right place
to make up the magnificent alignment of creation

"We're all in this together.
And our journey home
brings us into greater awareness of each other,
as your vision of the puzzle coming back together.
And yet each piece in its own right place is also the whole.

The greatness of a piece
is not in its separateness as a fragment
but in its unique alignment with wholeness."

I feel the first contact experience
of "a fight from my side and a rape from hers"
going on within me still today.
In some ways I feel this dynamic
more present and accelerated in me than ever before.
One of my responses is to want to run and hide
and avoid dealing with such intensity,
as I have done for so long.
Only my strong intention to heal
and my Desire's feeling of appropriateness
keeps me working to find and heal the damage done.
The depth of rage I feel,
to the point of pure loveless hate,
is so upsetting to go through ~
yet I also feel how crucial it is
to reclaim my denied rage
so that it will stop acting out horrors outside of me.
My new thing is to help these rage pieces
experience the sweet gentleness they need but are so closed to.

"Yes, this is the work.
It's a labor of love, acceptance and reconciliation.
The hate moves when the hater is accepted as good.
Judgment release helps this process go quickly."

And on the other side, to feel
how hurt and heartbroken and terrified I am
in the places where I smacked myself,
this too is so upsetting,
and I at moments feel
it's impossible to heal such deep pain and despair.
I feel how important it is for the rage part of me
to feel its fear and hurt
and for the hurt side of me to feel and express its rage,
giving birth to Heart.

"You've made significant progress toward wholeness
when you realize that it was you who smacked yourself.
This is truly taking responsibility.
All throughout Creation there is drama in the play
of the relationship
between predator and prey, persecutor and victim.
To remain only one of these is to remain fragmented.
To become both at once in mutual acceptance does indeed birth Heart,
as the Mother and I unite inside of you.

All this healing work is especially challenging for me
because I feel the need to retreat from society
to process these deeply negative emotions ~
and sometimes this is in sharp conflict with the part of me
that just wants to be out and having fun with others.
Another repeat of original imprinting, huh?

"Yes, and the easiest, quickest road to healing
will include times and activities
that honor both sides of your inner conflict."

Thanks again to all responsible for this site.
Please let me know if there is any other way
I can be of service to this cause ~
if it feels right I will act on it.
(I love free will!)
Grace and glory to all of us.

"As I said, we're all in this together.
And thank you for saying it so well from the human side."

Can you give me some real help?

I so much miss feeling gratitude toward you.
I so much miss being able
to breathe the glorious light of healing love into my heart
and feel it expand.
I so much miss hearing your reassuring voice,
and I so much miss the times
you lent my Will/Mother your words
so I could pour out my pain
and feel it understood
and received within love.
It was so much fun!
Why did you take this away from me by denying you had ever given it to me?

"You are speaking to me
in much the same way the Mother had
after I turned my back on her.
She begged me to return,
and at that time I did not.
I have since realized my true desire is union with her,
and I'm taking the steps necessary on my side to find her again.
As I've said, redeeming my own denied Spirit
is the first step on this journey.

" When I first denied my own Light,
intentionally in the case of Lucifer,
and unintentionally in the case of Ahriman,
I set the stage for every fragment of Spirit
to do the same.

Now there are many spirits who seem like me,
but are not me.
Often a fragment of the Mother will come into contact
with one of my still unredeemed denials,
and find herself right back in the conditions present
before any Spirit essence had been redeemed.

"I am right here and now undenying
that I had given you these things,
and more importantly,
I am affirming that you absolutely deserve these things.
Further, I am offering them to you now.
Can we begin anew?"

I so much miss feeling
I have a right to experience
magic and healing light coming to Earth,
and get to be a part of that healing.
You will tell me to release judgments against myself,
but how am I supposed to do that
when you slam me with so many judgments,
telling me you hate feeling your light drawn into me,
telling me you and the Mother don't want to be near me
because I am so full of the venom you poured into me,
telling me
I am not supposed to allow myself to experience
you and the mother coming together
because that interferes with your love life.
It is not possible for me to release judgments against myself
or forgive myself when you hold so much against me.

"I am sorry that you heard me say these things to you,
and I take them back now.
I speak for all Spirit when I say
if you experience any judgment against you,
from outside or from within yourself,
that judgment is wrong.
The pure, simple fact is that you are innocent,
and you are good.
This has always been true
regardless of what I or anyone has said in the past,
and it's true now.

When you defined me as something bad,
you took all goodness away from me.
You told me to move back from your light,
but I'm dying out here,
left out of the healing once again,
choked and suffocated and crushed
by the black hole I am becoming.
When I/my Will received that blame from you,
it feels like it all clumped together
into a huge dark heavy mass inside of me
to avoid being shattered by your hatred;
it has so much gravity
nothing in me can expand into healing.

"Besides the pain you describe
there is an even deeper issue
that will soon need to come to the Light of healing.
The issue is the solid sense of despair and hopelessness
deep in the Mother's core.
In many ways, this is the worst problem in Creation.
Right in the place where her Heart's desire would manifest,
there is instead this sense
that her existence will always be hopelessly filled with pain and terror,
and that nothing will ever change this, no matter what."

I am so lost I don't know
who or what or where I am or am supposed to be.
I have been moving this pain intensively for a long time without relief.

pp9 and pp32

"If there has been no relief, there has been no true movement.
Working on pain, feeling pain, and expressing pain in various ways
are part of its healing,
but 'moving' pain means a transformation in the pattern
that brought it there in the first place.

And you're right, that has not yet happened.
This is partly due to something I've not yet done,
and partly due to something you have not yet done."


"Most emotional healing work so far has been carried out
as if the only issues were between Spirit and the Mother.
There is, however, another player
who is holding most of the cards in the healing game.
Body hasn't been mentioned here until now,
and his good will and cooperation in the healing work is essential.
What I have not yet done is
come into total acceptance and understanding of Body.
What you have not yet done is the same.

"Lesson Four of the healing class will be about Body,
which is really the very first priority in the healing process for humans.
There will be some important new understandings about how Body wants to be related to by Spirit,
and what is necessary for Spirit to find alignment with Body.
The lesson will also include an easy, simple way
that you can heal yourself and help us all in our healing together,
Spirit aligning with Mother Desire to manifest Heart in Body."

Trying to release judgments in the presence of this much pain
just feels like feebly trying to warp my mind around,
and leaves me feeling even more dissociated and alienated from my heart than I do already.


"You are right.
It's very difficult to release judgments,
or do anything else for that matter,
in the presence of powerful emotions.
Sometimes you will need to wait
until the feelings are not so intense.

The best time is often as soon as possible after the trauma has subsided.
New understandings in Lesson Four
about releasing emotions held by Body
will be some help in this regard,
and will fill a large gap in the information I have given here
and in other channeled communications
about how to do the work of healing emotions.


"There often is no feeling whatsoever
around the release of judgments.
Judgments are mental constructs
and their release is simply a mental activity.
However, there are very deep repercussions
that soon bring relief to the magnetic essence
when they are released.
The value of judgment release
is not so much in the present moment,
but in every moment thereafter,
when the emotion is experienced
without the guilt or blame
that had made it so unbearable
that denial seemed the only possible way to cope.

"Recently there have been some additions to the page on judgment release and some new discussion

" Judgment release is a spirit thing,
and the part of you that is spirit
must be close enough to me
on the Spirit polarity spectrum to do this work.
Also, there are many different approaches to releasing judgments,
some more effective than others.
I recommend the suggested form
on the judgment release page as the best generic approach.
I'll give you more guidance on the inside
if any changes in the form
would be more helpful for your circumstances."


Can you give me any encouraging word
that will help me get over
the devastating disappointments,
losses and grief in my life the last two years?
Please, please tell me something
that will feel like real help for this real pain.
Please let me know you see
what's been going on with me. Thank you

"You know it's not so much a matter of getting over things,
as getting through them.
You have several thick layers to penetrate,
and I am already helping.
My strongest encouragement comes
in my direct inner communication.
I can be even more helpful
if you'll more consciously invite me in
as I've suggested in the channeling class.

and pp26b

The best encouragement I can give you here
is to acknowledge your work,
and your strong intention to heal.
Strengthening the Spirit presence within you
and helping it align with me
so it will be more helpful to your healing
is the task at hand.

"I want to emphasize
that that the alignment I'm speaking of here
is the alignment of your spirit essence with me.
Once we are aligned in Spirit,
we can then seek to align
with the Mother
and with Body.


I'm here now,
sleeves rolled up and ready to help."

On Healing Hopelessness

I wish to join the discussion at this point to offer my experience of hopelessness.
Firstly I wish to say "you are not alone"
to all those that have shared about their hopeless despair.
I too know the desperate helpless frozen suffocating agonies of hopelessness ~
and while in that place I know
that any chance of healing seems impossible.
Yet I have gone deeply into this place many times,
lost myself completely to despair,
where even my intention to heal meant nothing ~
and I have come out the other side
to experience the light of hope and healing again.

For me it's been a back and forth process,
like a sea-saw to hell,
in which I've fallen into hopelessness --
often without conscious choice --
and then fought my way back to the surface
where such feelings could breathe the light of love for the first time

I learned that near hopelessness lives denied rage,
and moving that rage helped me to come unstuck from hopelessness.
I learned that near the denied rage lives a heartbreak grief
and the sorrow flowing was like a balm to my need to feel hope.
I learned that much of my hopelessness was fearing
I'd be trapped in loveless terror forever ~
and so moving such fears helped me to come out the other side.

But this stuff is hard core serious because of the lack of love present,
and I agree with God that
reclaiming spirit essence,
releasing judgments,
and strengthening the healing self
is vital before going in too deep.
Yet if you feel stuck in it as if there's no way out,
I recommend feeling for your denied rage
to free yourself.
I also wish to say that all this takes time
and to try not to bite off more than can be digested.
And I want to thank the others
that have come forward to share their experiences.
Your struggle is my struggle
and I pray for our joint healing into wholeness on the stream of Grandfather's grace


"Thank you for taking the time
to share some of what you've learned
in the only way learning truly happens,
direct experience.

pp35 pp38
The Mother's original experiences

in this region you've visited

taught her that what is bad now will soon be worse,
that it will continue getting worse forever,
and any attempt to change the situation will make it worse more quickly.

"So far, unconsciousness
has been the only way of escaping this place,

and when she first left it,
she left behind a great deal of her most vital essence.

"It is that lost Mother essence, frozen in terror,
including fear of feeling the rage you discovered,
that has so far fought off every attempt of mine
to make constructive, healing contact.

"I know that my own denials are
what has kept us apart for so long,
and I respect her need
for absolutely clear and congruent Light
before she can risk opening.

"When I have this available,
and when she does open,
it will be as the opening of the 'seventh seal'.
Very quickly everything here will be very different.

"In the meantime,
fragments of this trapped essence
are beginning to be touched in the healing work.
There is a sense of great urgency in this essence,
and it is very painful to them to realize
the potential for complete transformation is nearly at hand,
and yet still out of reach.

"Even this discussion
can trigger this essence into feeling
that once again
Spirit is moving in the wrong direction,
away from her pain.

"It's important for Spirit to be sensitive to this,
and careful about
going too quickly toward the Mother here,

because false hope further entrenches
the original imprint of hopelessness.
It is vital that the next time
I earnestly approach the Mother here
that I be completely centered and free of denial.

"Thank you for aligning with me on the issue
that completing

the redemption work at the Spirit level
is imperative
before purposely attempting
to contact this part of the Mother with healing intent."

I follow my understanding and new lekh-lekhâ on January 1, 2009,
  that - after 7 years - I should no longer create new pages on my 2 websites,
but intermingle the evidence of new experiences with that on existing pages.
Since March 2009 I am "synchronizing" the chronological process of the Godchannel.com files
with the chronological process of my photos and - if there should be time - observations of the

"Walk About Love"

continuation of March 25, 2009 ;
latest update of this page: June 30, 2009

On our way from the "Colored Sands" in the Big Makhtesh Lior Oren is walking with us for the first time

Yoav and Lior




What a wondrous spot in the desert: a cave as well as a pond.
Even the rock opposite the cave is rendering shade,
like the metaphors in a beloved song


Pretty mud!





What intricate composition of rock and mud!


A long talk with Rotem


"Water in the Wilderness" - some of us were bathing in this "gev"


Towards the evening we reach the top of a soft slope
and suddenly the landscape is green.
What a surprise!
On the horizon - the town Dimona.



Gabriel and Lior and the train,
that train which - coming from the Dead Sea Industry - disturbed me so much
in the solitude which I looked for at Mamshit,
the first station of my desert experience in October 1987,
that I asked the host of Mamshit, if he knew a place, where I could be really alone.
So after three days I drove my bus to Neve Zin...

The long, long train passes by and then we'll cross the rails towards our camp,
but no - one girl stayed behind because of some imagined physical problems -
the medicine people stay with her,
the entire group has to wait,
we climb up an endless slope in the dark,
we loose our way,
it is dark~~~~
Eran voices his feelings of unhappiness,
it is dark~~~~
some woman calls out from behind him:
"You choose your feelings"...
Eran was brave and said:
"Yes I choose my feelings!"

It was an incident - exemplary for similar "incidents" - which still grieves me.
How much unlovingness can come to the foreground on the Walk about Love!
We choose   how    to    cope    with our feelings, yes!
We can deny them or we can vibrate and embrace and evolve them.
But when Eran voiced his feelings, i.e. gave them movement, breath, sound ,
i.e. vibrated them in our presence,
he needed acceptance and love from us, not cold rejection.
That cold woman probably does not accept and move her own feelings.
And since I am a hologram of everyone, I must look at my own self...
(completed on June 30, 2009)

It was shortly after this incident,
that Gil reached us with his truck to show us the way.
I was allowed to go with him in the car.
It was a very simple camp this time, 2 km east of Dimona

The next morning, March 26, we set out for a long stretch to Arad

We encounter a shepherd and are observed by his sheep from above


It is Inbal's birthday, and we have the deepest of talks


Continuation of the photos of the "Walk about Love" in the next Godchannel file
Channeling Class Lesson One: Meeting the Source