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InteGRATion into
GRATeFULLness
Singing&Sounding keeps me Sound
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lekhi-lakh - 'go<<< >>>to yourself'
These six pages of SongGame 2007, together
with one page from "Closeup to the Past", provided free
space |
The Chanuka Miracle
and further down:
Ehud Manor's
song "Halevai"-"I wish" sung by the Israeli-Philippine
Kathleen in School of Music
| 2007_12_09 |
lyrics&tune:
popular I always loved this song especially |
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Little jug, little jug, eight days it gave its oil, all the people wondered: by itself it became filled [full-filled?] all the people then came together and declared: this truly is a miracle if this jug had not remained our sanctuary would not have light. |
 2002-Arnon's Ceramic Chanukiyah, photographed by Tomer during our celebration at Mazkeret Batya |
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lekhi-lakh - 'go<<< >>>to yourself'
These six pages of SongGame 2007, together
with one page from "Closeup to the Past", provided free
space |
2011_10_28-29
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En-JOY-ing
and growing with Mika and my Family following the documentation "Mika's Heaven on Earth", inserted since Song Game 2007_01_01 |
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In the face of - water in the tower and fire in the
sky - Mika with the bamboo-stick she had found on the Memorial-Hill of Shoham
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what does she prophecy?
4 weeks later it seems to me, that she prophecied what had
already begun to manifest the day before,
on October 28, 2011-the day which .... had prophecied as the beginning of
the end-times
I did not know then, that it was to be the end of our growing-together - Mika,
her mother and I -
our paths would separate as far as the paths of the actors in a family drama
can separate
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Added on October 31, 2011, when I edited
the sculpture of my togetherness with Mika:
I wasn't aware of what I now learnt about "Netzarim",
"a stronghold for religious Zionism", and am shocked.
I suddenly see this glorious setting of the sun as the sinking, sinking of
phenomena that are "not right' in Israel,
especially after I just an hour ago heard about the plans of our Prime-Minister
and our Minister-of "Defense",
for making war against Iran
and about the shooting-reaction against a shooting from Gaza, by the Islamic
Jihaad yesterday,
the lack of policy - as pointed out by the interviewed person on TV -
will not make up for the one Israeli who was killed by the Palestinians,
but may cause a terrible chain of more killings.
I'm sorry, that - instead of focusing an "what I
can celebrate in the world" - I'm voicing my pain about my country...
No! My interpretation was side-tracking me from my personal
path: The firy sinking sun symbolized the end of a five year period in my
life's drama
The religious couple who had given us the info about
the two different memorial stones, left
and we had the place of benches and tiles for ourselves, though it was a bit
dark, a bit cold.
Mika spread the cloth and set the table
and distributed the huge chocolate coin,
which Abba had brought her from Paris.
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coin is actually an old German "Thaler",
a silver coin used throughout Europe for almost four hundred years. Its name lives on in various currencies as the dollar Now see this coincidence: A day before, in a certain context, I told Mika the fairy-tale about "Sternthaler", Star-Thaler, about a poor girl who gave away her last piece of bread and last rag of clothes, and then - at night , in the forest - she was suddenly showered by golden stars, thalers which she collected in her undershirt - "and she was rich till the end of her life". In the evening, after Mika had gone to sleep, I read an e-mail from starchild Gal Mor, with the subject : "mazkira otakh", meaning that the 70 year old German woman, "about which you''ll read in Calcalist, to which I'm linking you", reminds Gal of me." And, indeed, there is much similarity between Heidemarie and my relation to "consumerism". The Hebrew article mentions the woman's website, "Give and take" , and in opening it, what do I see? An image of "Sternthaler" on what seems to be two different covers of Heidemarie Schwermer's book: The star-dollar experiment: My Life without Money |
From
the English
summary of Heidemarie's book: (she isn't afraid - like me - to write bad English....) "If you use the sticker there are some things to reflect: First: the sticker means- I want another world! A world with dignity for everyone! Second: if I use the sticker I am open for sharing with others without money (not changing any more). Third: the place for the sticker will be reflected, because there are different meanings. The sticker on a car means that I am ready to share my car or to take people with it. If I put it on the door of my house I would like to have guests in my house. A sticker on my cloth means that you can talk to me. A sticker at my baggage means you can travel with me. There are several possibilities to put it! Goal of it is, that some day we don't need any more a sign, because we are a big family and care for each other. " |
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Nov. 22, 2011, despite all my Greek studies I never heard about the philosophy called "Cynicism", which reminds of this woman's way of life. It was Boris who told me and showed me on his mobile phone, what he - among other info - learns, while working as a life-guard in a hotel |
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I told her about this one, when I accompanied her to school the next morning,
but she was too preoccupied with what was awaiting her .
Nor do I have the slightest idea what the coincidence may indicate...
November 24, 2011
Now Know !
I am this woman with the white hair, in her coat, with her bags (but
without sunglasses!!),
walking,
passing by ~~~~ a church and ~~~~a mall,
alone.
Except that I no longer must live on the road in order to deliver my message,
but....
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and see my coping with what was "staged" in our family-drama from October 28, 2011 onward,
as hinted at (not more!) in page and page and page and page
On that morning, November 23, 2011, I discerned the tiny slideshow image above the date on the opening screen of my computer:
I opened it full view and print-screened it in this size, though somewhere in my archive there must be the original scanned photo:
It is the only photo which shows me on my motorized bike, the moped, which I drove for at least 5 years (ca. 1965-1970)
The scene shows me behind our house at Ramat-Hadar/Hod-Hasharon, with Immanuel (4) and Ronnit (2) on my way to their two kindergardens.
Micha, the baby, had to be left alone in his bed, when I was on this assignment, except on this day, on which his father, who made the photo, was home.
[It occurred to me, what gifts - on which my present life is based - I owe to these two children:
1988: In a situation of utter hell, Ronnit visited me in my bus, then above the Mediterranean Sea near the "Countryclub-junction".
At one point she went down to the sea and from there brought back Aki Friedman, the Manager of "Man-Power", whom she had met in the workshop "Joy-Spring".
Aki proposed to me to "Learn Computer" - for free in "Man-Power", so that then I could be mediated as a temporary secretary to companies which asked for this.
I found the proposal ridiculous: "I can't sit still on a chair for an hour and you want me to work as a secretary?" But I had no choice, if I wanted to stay alive!!
2001: After some failures of adding a kind of website to big group websites, Immanuel proposed that I set up my own website in the frame of his website,
the one, for which I had found the name "empower", and which in time became redundant and now, on Nov. 26, 2011, only said: The site is under maintenance.
I begged him to take care of the technical part, but he refused: "Whatever you seem to know today, is never enough, you'll always need to develop your skills.
I prefer to take the time to teach you the basics , so that then you can always go on to teach yourself."
Computer and Internet! These are as vital for my life, my gratitude, zest and fulfillment, as food, water or sleep!
How wondrous, that the two little kids on my moped prepared the way for me!
Driving forward from the back of our house:
What image could symbolize better my 24 years of motherhood and my 24 years of grandmotherhood?
The end of motherhood was indicated, when my firstborn married - at the age of 24.
Last year I explained the coincidence or "23 years" with the fact, that during Immanuel's first year I was free to be a mother only part of the time.
But now it seems, that my decision to part from "Grandmotherhood" - the way I have lived it - can be carried through only now, after 24 years!
Since there won't be any images of Mika or of the other actors and actresses
in my life's drama for the time being,
I was happy to meet a sequence of baby Mika in "Full-Fill-ment"
in Godchannel's message,
[see
also in C.G.Jung, The Patient heals from within: images of Mika still
in plaster after her accident]
I was even happier 2 days later, Nov. 25, 2011,
when I
came across my favorite image of Mika:
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 The Star-Child on her second birthday party in kindergarden, 2007 At that time she did not yet need to "remember", what the song says: "Exactly as I am, I am right, I'm not lacking in anything, I'm whole! " |
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Arad, December 7, 2011,
see
context in "Only through your creations will you know yourself"
And in the evening - f i n a lly - though I was
scared - Mika's phone-call.
Even after 32 minutes she didn't want to part, but she had to go to bed.
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Her first sentence:
"I said to Abba and to Imma, that when you come, we'll make a fruit-salad together as we once did!" "Did we?" "Yes, I and you made fruit-salad!" "That must have been a long time ago". "Yes, when I was three!" "Where did we eat it, on our little table?" "Yes, on the little table in your room!" Later she said, that there was no longer "our" room. "It has become the room of creation, khaeder yetzirah", meaning a room wholly dedicated to Mika's artwork. "It's many days that you haven't come!" We counted the days: "yes 38 days!" I was led to give the exact explanation, why it would be in my home in A r a d, where we would make this fruit-salad: "There are time-periods
in a life. |
Two stanzas from the song WITHIN by Yair Rosenblum, lyrics by Yael Tevet, then 22, created for the Airforce Band in 1977 On my soul You're in control, on the subtleties in me you play when you find them in a gaze Or in one faint whisper. a movement that is hidden, a word spoken unawarely, a smile, be it quick or particular You're in those, in all of them. I am dents for all your archs .... I don't like the third stanza, |
I
asked her, if she had received my letter.  In the carefully sculpted e-mail in big letters - sent on Dec. 3, 2011, I told Mika about a coincidence: I had come from the desert, laid down to rest and thought: Why doesn't Mika sent me an artwork from "Maya's Secret"? After half an hour I got up, went to the computer, and what do I see? two artworks, which Mika had made with the help of 'Maya's Secret'! "That's called "telepathy" - do you know this word?"
An hour later, in the TV "Music-School"
for children, |
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I
came across this sculpture, (see why it is connected to Mika on Oct. 16-19, 2011) and wondered about the coincidence with yesterday's "Music-School" songs Shai (13) dedicated her song to "God with whom I talk!" just like Mika would have said or will say at that age. "be-tokh" - "Within" is the name of this love-song. "ani tova'at be-dmutcha - I drown in your image" I'm yearning for you I'm thirsty for you you are loved by me you are precious to me come embrace me in your womb you're my Shekhina-my God tune on SongSame 2007_05_12 |
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Thank you!
Such a burden fell off my heart!
Between Mika and Me it is clear now,
that - whatever the pretext for my absence -
a new time-period has begun for the two of us.
May the Israeli-Philippine
Kathleen in School of Music
with Ehud Manor's
song "Halevai"-"I wish" accompany us
| I wish that from a cloud
a bow will descend upon us, |
  Isaiah 2:4 also in the old song and in "RedSeaPartnerSHIP" 1998 
Lamentations 5:21 also in the old-new song |
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My own singing on Dec. 14, 2011
On the 40th day since my lekhi-lekh from Shoham
I came across
the song: "renew our days as of old".
I do not identify with this text, inserted in 2007, but I rejoice in the sculpture
of 2010 below that song:
December 2007 versus December 2011
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In
time I want to present the rest of a few old mini-movies of Mika in "slow-motion" [a method I used for 'Masterchef'] ! See 5 minutes of Mika's activity before sleep, 3 days after her second birthday, on Dec.23,2007 on the page which formerly was called "2006 July-August - Accident and War" but seems to have waited for this joyful scene!!!!  It took many hours to crop the tiny nuances, and then to compose them to a great sculpture. "The time you take to just be with your creations, is the time you spend in the eternal love of Source." 4 years later I created slow motion by a series of "stills": |
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 Mika decides to unite the two Shabbat-candles together with five of the nine Chanuka-candles and she blesses (expresses wishes for) each of her family and her own six years of life + 'one for the coming year'! |
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This
"celebration, which I never want
to forget", as Mika said, was the last of the many activities and interactions on Dec. 20, Mika's sixth birthday. We sat at "our" little table in what was once "my" room, It has - since "then" - become "a room of creation"..... On the table we also placed our self-made fruit-salad! Her first sentence during the first of our two phonecalls - during all these painful seven weeks of my lekhi-lakh - had been: "When you come we'll make fruit-salad!" Yet she was so enchanted by the serious candle-game, that she couldn't put even one bite into her mouth. Her blessing for Grandma: "That you may be joyful, even when I'm not with you and long for you!" The next early morning, before we parted, knowing, that we would not meet again at Shoham Mika wanted us to paint a flame. I asked her to cut a paper in the size of my I.D. card, so I could carry it with me everywhere. She started with the exterior part, I was asked to paint the part inside, and she painted the central part and wrote: Beautiful flame Thank you That you shine. |
I gave Mika two valuable gifts, of which I had thought already months ago:
A Koren-Bible with an embroidered envelope and an artful kaleidoskope.
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 Mika, great-grand-daughter of Franz Rosenzweig, From him I learnt to understand the Hebrew Bible, and because of this gift of life I met his son Rafael and gave birth to his son Immanuel, Mika's father. |
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"I am always with you"
See on the following
page:
the three images, which Gallit in the Noon-School took by her cellphone
and sent them to me, with great appreciation
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lekhi-lakh - 'go<<< >>>to yourself'
These six pages of SongGame 2007, together
with one page from "Closeup to the Past", provided free
space |