The Purpose  of   HEALING - K.I.S.S.

- as stated 12 years ago - was and is

  to help me and my potential P E E R s 

"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,

and - by extension - all of CREATion!"
Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013
and Overview of its main libraries

[If you look for a word on this page,
click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]

I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'

pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"



The Blue Book
and at the end of the page (please scroll down!)

the continuation to pages 58-83 of both

the Violet Book
and the Purple Book


In pp 14 I told how I encountered the Blue Book
Back to General Information about all eight Books

Re-study of the Blue Book - together with the Hebrew translation by Talila Hendel - till page 16,
see in a sequence in 2010, from .expression7 till .reality4

Original INTRODUCTION (and principles
of editing the book on this site)

Right Use of Will........................................1
Clearing Illness and Habits.......................2

Free Will in the presence of Opposition..8
Limits on the Self......................................9

Discipline, death and Reincarnation
     Resulting from the Original Spilt
     of Spirit and Will................................12

Inner Listening........................          .. ...15
Judgment Release..........     ..      .........19
Realities Precipitating toward Earth   23
Emotional Release.............     ...     ......32
Right Use of Will as a Healing
   Power  for Yourself and Earth.     ....37

The Influence away from Free Will... .42
Denials shared by Many....    .. ............44
The Feminine Principle...........     .......49

Sex and Children................    . ...........50
Free Will between People...    .. .........55

Form and Graven Images..   .... ..........61

Acceptance...............  ................. 64
Twists and Turns on Judgments  68

The Land of Pan...........................74

Understandings on Denial..........118

Steps to Healing
     & Complete Recovery..    ....  127

Intimidating Form........................132

Version of 2010 [discovered in 2013, when my young friend Boris ordered "The Blue Book" for himself']

FOUR WINDS Publications

Copyright 1984, 1986, 2010,

Ceanne DeRohan-
All rights reserved...
Four Winds Publications
551 Cordova Rd. # 112
Santa Fe, New Mexico,
87505, USA


Healing and Evolving
the Emotional Body

by Ceanne DeRohan

Dedicated to the Earth

INTRODUCTION ...............................

RIGHT USE OF WILL........................1


LIMITS ON THE SELF.......................9

INNER LISTENING......................... 12

SELF................................... 15

FREE WILL IN THE PRESENCE OF         OPPOSITION.........................15

JUDGMENT RELEASE....................17

EMOTIONAL RELEASE................20



THE FEMININE PRINCIPLE.............................41

SEX AND CHILDREN......................................42

FREE WILL BETWEEN PEOPLE......................49


DENIALS SHARED BY MANY...........................55



THE LAND OF PAN............................ ..74


2003_06_14; last updates: 2005_01_13 and 2012_01_13

On 2003-06-14 I was determined to bring this site to a close on July 3, 2003
[using the triggering from all that is incomplete - for healing!],
I copied as much of the Blue Book as fitted into my priorities,
and added as many of the Sphincter Muscle Keys for Body as possible.
For reading God's info in either the RUOW books or Godchannel
without emotional or physical movement
is a waste of time.

Since on 2013-06-06
I'm complementing the 1984 version with the 2010 version,
I, therefore, show only the first page of the Sphincter muscle Keys for Body here
and refer to their context on the "Paula-Page"

continuation from page 12a of the 1984 version

page 12b

This chapter in the 2010 version follows the chapter

[the photos were taken by me in 2002-2003 at Modiin on the Titorah-Hill]

Discipline is a point of real confusion
among most of the people on Earth today.
Suffice it to say that an aligned Will is always appropriate.
Disruptive behavior or opposition of any sort
is always an attempt of the Will to recover its own lost alignment.
If the reason for the disruptive behavior
is sought, accepted, expressed, understood and given
what you feel like giving it
1984- page 13 ["Discipline, Death and Reincarnation"]
without judgment,
the disruptive behavior will disappear.
The process of aligning your own Will
has to show you the true understandings here
because the misunderstandings around the concept of discipline
are at present so massive on Earth
that it is best approached by letting go of preconceived notions
and trying out the process of recovering your own freedom of Will.

Will must be unconditionally accepted by the Spirit
to be able to balance with it in the Heart.
The Will has been so severely disciplined on Earth
that it is extremely confused
and in fact is very much like an abused child in most people.

[Parts of p. 13 and 14 seem to be missing,
and since I no longer possess the 1984 edition,
I must rely on the 2010 edition of "Discipline, Death and Reincarnation" - s. below]

Evolution is the process
through which these parts can change and grow with you.
You need to evolve all of you,
not just your higher levels of vibration.
For truly, you all came to earth as complete Spirits
and became physical by slowing down a part of yourself
until it became dense enough to be called physical.
The process of birth and death

1984 - page 14 ["Discipline, Death and Reincarnation"]

when the power to speed up the dense part
was lost in the confusion of experiencing its new vibratory rate.
Right Use of Will is going to give you the understandings needed
to recover the lost power
of leaving the physical plane with your entire being,
rather than just a part of it.

Death is a result of misunderstandings, confusions and judgments around the physical experience.
These judgments were attempts to make sense of the situation.
These attempts, however, were not true understandings;
they were misunderstandings and confusions.
Release of these thought patterns
and the accompanying emotional charge
will allow the needed understandings to come in their place


In seeking the cause for the entrapment on Earth
that resulted in the split of Spirit and Will
and the beginning of physical death,
many blamed the Will,
which is the part of the self that slowed to the lower vibration.
Many Wills reacted by blaming Spirit.
Neither is true understanding.
Spirit is causal
as the Will only slowed down at the direction of the Spirit,
but the understanding needed is
that it is not a situation of blame;
it is an experience of learning for Will and Spirit.
The feeling of being trapped on Earth is such an old feeling
that many Spirits have come to accept it as permanent,
but it is not.
The question to release from this "trap"
is the question of willingness to face the denials
that have been going on for so long on Earth.

The truth is that by questioning,
and then by accepting the answer,
you can discover your own experience
in this self-created trap.
The confusion of consciousness
which resulted from the pressure
of changing vibratory rates
was in part lack of experience.
There is no reason to assume
that this will always be the case.
This explanation is so far a generalized one,
because the experience of losing the power
to come and go from Earth at Will
has an as yet unreleased and highly emotional charge around it.
Introduction to this memory
needs to be gradual for most people;
but you can remember this for yourself
by opening your acceptance for these memories
rather than deciding ahead of time
that such things are impossible,
or only possible for others as you are an ordinary person with no extraordinary powers.


November 26, 2013, from "Veronica":
The Big Picture

"In the beginning the recently cast soul anticipates the coming physical moment with the feeling of promise and expansion.

The goals in place, it proceeds to the linear plane with enthusiasm, while extending itself to the experience.

The physical reality is intense as the soul struggles to maneuver through the sign posts and evolvements. Often the life ends too quickly as some error of judgement ends the physical experience prematurely.

Undaunted, the soul reenters the physical plane again, perhaps without the contemplation necessary for more productive experiences... the cycle often escalating until a pattern of repetition impedes the soul's development.

The physical personality is left with a spinning perspective of the lessons involved until to maintain its balance, it perceives only the dramas at hand.

It is important to realize that recognized drama can be realigned or eliminated. Stepping back from the linear's intense focus to the larger picture can give clarity.

This big picture focus offers an opportunity to find solutions while maintaining the physical focus.

Step back.  Realign your focus.
See everything, not just the explosive drama in front of you.
The solution will be easier to see in the big picture.
Step back.      Re-Focus.     Align.

The big picture may offer more answers of resolution, and your soul perceiving all the energy will have opportunity to assist.

Step back.       See the bigger picture."



Chapter INNER LISTENING in both versions: 1984 and 2010

1984- page 15 ["Inner Listening"]

Inner listening is an important step
in the process of Right Use of Will,
but is difficult and nearly impossible to find
in an atmosphere of judgment.

Judgment release is necessary
to allow the misunderstandings
that judgments hold rigid
to move and clear the space for inner listening.

Judgments see the situation as unable to change.
Judgments always carry a denial of some sort,
and what the judgments have denied
is usually seeking acceptance,
in order to clear itself
because it does not feel good
to be a denied part of the self.

In most people there has been an ongoing conflict
between the judgments and the denied truth
which has made inner listening impossible without the use of control.
Here meditation can be very helpful
for listening and improving receptivity.

2010- page 12 ["Inner Listening"]

Inner listening is an important step
on the path of Right Use of Will,
but it is difficult and nearly impossible to find
in an atmosphere of judgment.
Judgments can keep a chatter going in the head,
and it can be very critical,
not only of others, but of everything you do,
including trying to feel more deeply into yourself.
Many people are unaware
that this chatter is mostly internalized judgment
because they have been seeing them as reality.
Judgments frame the situation as unable to change.
Judgment release is necessary
to allow the patterns that judgments have been holding rigid
to move and clear the space for inner listening.

Judgments always carry a denial of some sort,
and what the judgments have denied
is usually seeking acceptance in order to clear itself
because it does not feel good to be a denied part of the self.
In most people there has been an ongoing conflict between the judgments,
or the person's held viewpoint,
and the denied truth
which has made inner listening impossible without the use of control.
Here, meditation that does not exert control
can be very helpful for improving inner listening and receptivity.
One suggestion is following your breath.
Another is to breathe to any place in your Body
that is tense or not feeling peaceful.
Making sound on the exhalation can be very helpful.

1984- page 16 ["Inner Listening"]

Health is not often achieved in a background of clamor
that is in conflict about what to do or how to do it
or what others will think of it, etc.
Habits aren't easily released in this atmosphere either
because the Body's voice can be lost in the ruckus.
The practice of listening to everything in you
is necessary to align all the parts of the being
by ending the denials that have perpetuated the lack of alignment.
Learning to listen does not require meditation
but it can definitely help if you are having trouble listening to yourself.
Listening also needs to go beyond the self
by opening to hear more and more
until you can hear everything in Creation.

The whole yin aspect of man is needing to be understood
as an evolving aspect of Creation.
It is not just actions that must evolve;
understanding and receptivity must evolve also.
The yin aspect of man's development
has been proceeding with a maximum of imbalance.
East and West,
feminine and masculine,
intuition and thought,
feeling and reason,
nature and man
are still seen as adversaries by many people.
[Here ends the sequence of the Re-study of the Blue Book
- together with the Hebrew translation - in .reality4 ]

When polarities are seen as conflicting opposites,
and especially when one is favored,
the harmony that brings inner silence in which to hear
is obscured by the conflict.
Polarities are the expanding limits of one principle
and so the answer naturally lies
in allowing all of them
to come into balance and complementary function.
Within each of you is all of these things;
the receptive needs to balance with the outgoing,
inner reality needs to balance with outer reality,
and the Spirit needs to balance with the Will.

Accepting everything and allowing complementary function
enables you to meet any situation
with exactly what is felt to be truly appropriate;
nothing more, nothing less.
In this way you are not needing to deny anything;
and yet, in trying to allow everything,
many people felt overwhelmed
because they had denied something without realizing it.
There was a denial involved here of right time
tied into a misunderstanding about acceptance.

The denying consciousness
often attempts to fill the gap left by the denial.
Denial of the Will is often filled in by what is actually a false Will.
This consists of false feelings
the person convinces himself he actually has.

2010 - page 13 ["Inner Listening"]

Health is not often achieved in a background of internal clamor
that is in conflict about what to do , how to do it,
what others will think of it, etc.
Habits aren't easily released in this atmosphere either
because the Body's voice can be lost in the ruckus.
Most people have been using control
when they have not had the idea
of listening to everything in themselves
as a way of finding inner alignment by ending denials.
While inner listening doesn't require meditation,
it can definitely help if you are having trouble listening to yourself,
or if you think you are listening to yourself,
but you have not been finding the depth you want.

Inner listening is a receptive, or yin, aspect.
The entire receptive aspect of Creeaton
is needing to be more deeply understood
and included as an evolving aspect of Creation.
It is not just actions that must evolve;
understanding and receptivity must also evolve.
The receptive, or yin, aspect of human development
has been proceeding with a maximum of imbalance.
East and West,
masculine and feminine,
intuition and thought,
feeling and reason,
nature and man
are still seen as adversaries
or as dominant and submissive, superior and inferior
by many people.

When polarities are seen as conflicting opposites,
and especially when one is favored,
the harmony that brings inner balance,
and the quiet with which to hear,
is obscured by the conflict.
Polarities are the expanding limits of one principle
and so, the answer naturally lies
in allowing all of them
to come into balance and complementary function.
Within each of you are all of these things;
the Will needs to be allowed to find balance with the Spirit
so that the receptivity of the Will can be valued and accepted
as equal to the inspiration of the Spirit.
Then, balance in your inner reality
can be reflected by your outer reality

Accepting everything within the self
and allowing complementary function
can enable you to meet any situation
with exactly what is felt to be truly appropriate;
nothing more, nothing less.
In this way you are not needing to deny anything;
and yet, in trying to allow everything,
many people have felt overwhelmed
because they had denied something.
ithout realizing it, they were trying to accept everything outer
without first accepting the inner.
There were denials of parts of the self
tied into misunderstandings about right time and acceptance.

The denying consciousness
has often attempted to fill in the gap left by the denial.
Judgments have often served this purpose
as people have attempted to make sense of their overwhelm.
Denial of the Will has often been filled in by false feelings
that the person has become convinced are real.

1984- page 17 ["Inner Listening"]

Denial of feelings has created an imbalance in the Heart.
Unconditional Love cannot manifest itself when there is this imbalance.
The alignment and balancing of polarities
aligns and balances everything in-between them.
Ending your own imbalance of feelings
and the accompanying judgmental patterns
is going to allow you to manifest unconditional Love.
The ones that say only a few can do this have not understood Me,
the One God that Created everything.

I gave the ability to manifest unconditional Love to every Spirit
that would accept it from Me.
Some refused to accept this gift from Me,
and it is mainly these Spirits
who themselves refused to accept unconditional Love
that have been claiming
unconditional Love is only possible for Me
and a very few of My closest Created Spirits.
Many Spirits that have the potential to manifest unconditional Love
have accepted this false claim
and have thus endangered their own loving essence by denying it.

This denial has gone as close as I want to see it go
to appearing to prove that it is right
by keeping loving essence unmanifested.
Hear Me on this: I want this denial ended now.
The pain present in that which is loving
but which is being held outside of Love
is unbearable and must be healed.

Denial has temporarily allowed many to ignore this pain,
but I am not disconnected from it
and I want you to take responsibility for your own denial.
There was perfection and balance of the polarities
before the physical plane experience
and there will be again.
This balance will return in the Age now coming on Earth.
The recognition of the validity of intuition is unfolding
as is the recognition
of the masculine and feminine principles within each sex.
East and West are meeting.

The receptive and expressive function in the brain is needing some understanding here though.
The scientists that have studied this
have been studying people
that have made separations in their own consciousness
as have the scientists themselves.
The brain is meant to work as a whole
with the left side polarized to receptivity of Divine Impulse
and the right side polarized to attuned action.
The brain is needing reuniting
just as the other separations in the being need reuniting.
In not nurturing the receptive aspect of the brain,
which is the Will's part of the brain,

2010- page 14 ["Inner Listening"]

Many people have been allowing the media and other people
to entirely fill their already clouded receptive centers
in an effort to fill an emptiness left by denial.
If this source of filling yourself were to be turned off for a while,
and you did not find some other way to distract yourself,
you might find out
how you really feel about the denial of Spirit, Will,Heart and Body on Earth.

Most people, when contronted with this,
have tried to fill their mind with thoughts
to avoid what they have denied.
If you have intent to heal,
you need to let yourself feel what you have not wanted to feel,
and let it express as sounds.
You may feel terribly lonely and afraid underneath everything else.
You may have experienced fear of being so ridiculed, or rejected,
that you have believed it was the last thing you ever wanted to feel.
You may have fear that you cannot vibrate yourself enough to stay alive.
You may have beliefs that have told you that fear is a lack of faith in Me;
but where am I,and who am I,
that I would leave fear outside of My Love?

Maybe you are lonely
to feel a real presence of My Loving Light there with you.
Maybe you are afraid of death,
and maybe you are ashamed of your feelings.

Denial of the Will has created an imbalance in the Heart.
Unconditional Love cannot manifest from this imbalance.
The alignment and balancing of polarities
aligns and balances everything in-between them.
Ending your own Will denials
and the accompanying judgmental patterns
is going to allow you to manifest unconditional Love.

The process for ending denials is the only process I have seen to work.
The attunement of inner listening
is an important, self-empowering part of this process.
You can learn to receive input from your own Spirit more and more clearly
and, also, to hear directly from Me.
Inner listening
is one aspect of getting help with the specifics of your own denials.
Fear and confusion may come up around this
and may need extensive movement
because,in addition to your Will,
your Heart and Body can also give input here.
You may also have internalized a critical voice or voices
trying to tell you what to do.
You may even experience this as overwhelming confusion, especially at first,
and it may be difficult to understand and sort these things out.
By persisting with this process, you can find the understandings needed
and find increasing trust for expanding the spectrum of your perceptions.

The gift of Right Use of Will, here, is that inner listening is easier
when all the aspects of your being realize that nourishment from
2010- page 15 ["Inner Listening"]
and receptivity to My Loving Light
are to benefit all of your being and not just some of it.
Then, the alignment needed can be found.

End of the chapter "Inner Listening" in the 2010 version]

In denying the Will, the Spirit is denied
because denied Will can't receive Spirit well in the Body.

Many people have been allowing the media and other people
to entirely fill their receptive centers
in an effort to fill the gap left by this denial.
If this source of filling yourself were to be turned off for a little while
you would soon find out
how you really feel about the denial of Spirit and Will.
Most people when confronted with this, however,

have tried to fill their minds with thoughts
to avoid what they have denied.

If you have intent to heal, you need to go beyond this, find your denials,
clear them and in the process remember how to receive and hear Me.

I am heavily denied on Earth at present
and in fact can expess Myself directly to only a very few of you
because of this denial.
This denial is accompanied by any number of judgmental patterns
that all attemt to justify it.

1984- page 18 ["Inner Listening"]

many have denied themselves the ability to receive Light from Me.
This has been more the cause of death than anything else on earth.

Many people in not understanding this
have been neglecting to get nourishment from Me.
It is necessary to ask Me to fill you with Light... often.

None of these limitations on Me are accurate.
I have only one limit: I am;
and this is not even a limit
because I could not be if I wanted to.

1984- still page 18 ["Inner Listening"]

The actual fact of the matter is that you may not be soon
if you do not end your own personal denial and your denial of Me.
I am not threatening; I am once again telling you what you are creating for yourselves.
And, in fact, this reality is much closer than your denial is so far letting you realize.
My earlier warnings have gone mostly unheeded
and so I am now warning strongly and for the last time on Earth.

I am Love .
The denial of the Loving Essence on Earth needs to end
The reality is that few people on Earth are now choosing to end their denial.
I have to respect their choice and they will get their own pesonal choice,
but they will not get to have it on Earth.
This process for ending denial that I am now offering here
is the only process I have seen to work.
The attrunement of inner listening is an important part of this process
because you need to learn to hear Me
and to hear your own Spirit clearly
so that you can get the specifics of your own denial.
fear is going to come up around this and it needs extensive release.

The gift of Right Use of Will here is that inner listening is easier
1984- still page 19 ["Inner Listening"]
when all the levels of your being realize
that the nourishment of and receptivity to the Divine Impulses
are to benefit all of your being and not just some of it.
Then polarities can harmonize
and, without the conflict,
true listening can be reached.


2010- page 15
[the chapters "EGO" and "Free Will in the Presence of Oppostion" in the 1984 version
appeared before, see page 12]


Many have thought that spiritual growth
requires death of the eog or the self.
This is not true understanding.
Death of the ego, or self, is not a necessary part of spiritual growth.
Judging against,
putting parts of the self aside or not accepting them
is denial of the self.
There is no problem with ego/self
if it sees itself as evolving with the rest of you.
This is a part of you,
and like all other parts of the self,
needs acceptance.
Denials and judgments against the ego/self have created afflictions.
Without seeng what denial and judgment have created,
these afflictions have been thought to be the rality of ego/self.

Ego/self is as Divine as anything else.
It is the part of you that recognizes you as you,
and without it,
you cannot tell the difference between yourself and anything else.

Ego /self operates to protect your present level of ability

to accept, experience and express.
Many have judged self-love to be selfish
and have had a habit of self-denial

as though this is more loving than love of self.
To be without ego, or to cultivate selflessness,
has often been equated with oneness,
but this would be a oneness without differentiation
and, thus, no manifestation of Creation.
While this has been a goal for some,
this is an unrealistic image of Oneness.

As soon as there is a recognition of consciousness,
there is differentiation through recognition of the self that noticed this.
The awareness of self was blamed as the initial cause of separation.
Creation manifests from consciousness.
Without recognition of consciousness
there is no way to experience it,
and thus, no experience or evolution,
and ultimately, no existence.

Healing the ego/self with understanding and loving acceptance
is another aspect of personal growth.
Balance between love of self and love of everything else is what is needed.

2010- still on page 15


The question of freeing you Will in an atmosphere that doesn't accept it
is the next issue to be discussed.

The question of practicing Right Use of Will among people

2010- page 16

who do not accept and understand these ideas
is a matter of personal choice.

It should be understood, however,
that there are many obstacles to doing this in an atmosphere of restriction,

and that overpowering of others in any direction,
even with ideas,
is not the practice of Free Will.

Free Will is an old confusion in Creation,
which is why so many do not appear to be in acceptance of it.
Many have thought that free Will couldn't work
because the Spirits were too foolish to make wise choices.
Many have feared that they couldn't conduct their own lives well.
Many have thought it was not possible
because there would never be an alignment.
These are some of the reasons that many began to abdicate their own Will
in favor of what they thought was My Will.

Many people know
that the reality around them is of their own creation
and that it is also their reflection,
but many have not yet understood
how much of their reality has been created
by what they have been holding in denial,
outside the spectrum of their awareness,
and thus, their acceptance.
The reflecton of non-acceptance for free Will is going to be found
to be based in your own misunderstandings, denials and judgments.

Evolution of the individual Will is an important part of spiritual growth,
and learning from experience is an important part of evolving the individual Will.
Because others are not the cause of the suppression of your own free Will,
the practice of Right Use of Will
does not need to force ideas on anyone or on society at large
The space to practiice freeing your Will comes from within you.

Some people want to seek ways to find others
who understand and accept these ideas.
Some may want to talk with others about the idea of freeing their Will
because they don't want to feel alone in what they are doing.
Mutual support can be good.
Any lack of receptivity here, is a signal
to find these places of judgment and lack of acceptance within yourself.
Any seeming conflicts or disagreements
can be more easily resolved by finding alignment within yourself first.

If you recover your own lost Will,
you will find it much easier to change your reality to suit you

than to try to change an outward reflection of denial
that you have not changed within yourself.

Finding the balance point
between changing the circumstances around you
and changing your circmstances
is something that each person needs to find, according to how it feels.

If your needs are being denied you by someone else,
and you feel you have done all you can
to release limits you have been holding on yourself,

2010- page 17 ["Free Will in the Presence of Opposition"]

then you can try changing your approach to fulfilling your needs
by finding another place and/or another way
in which to fulfill them.
Instead of making any judgments here,
give freedom a chance to work by allowing yourself
to make whatever changes you feel the situation calls for.
If this stirs fear in you,
try giving it expression as sounds.
Remember to make sure you feel safe when you do this.
This fear may be holding judgments in place
that having ideas different from the mainstream
will be ridiculed, censored or viewed as insane,
and that you may be outcast or even killed.
Having the thought and accepting the fear that there may be repercussions
allows you to heed the caution without holding it as a judgment.
Freeing your own Will,will enable you to be free.

[end of 2010 -chapters "Ego/Self" and "Free Will in the Presence of Opposition:]




2005_01_13-See the puzzle pieces 6 and 6b about "Releasing Judgments",
updated today following the updates on Godchannel/Judgment Release

1984 - still page 19 ["Judgment Release"]

All of the gifts of Right Use of Will can come to you
when you really align with accepting them
by releasing through expression everything
that feels you cannot have them.

The fastest way to open the space for change
is to release judgments
and the pent-up emotional energy around them
so energy can more.
This seems so simple
and yet societal conditioning has taught everyone to talk in generalizations
and to control emotions and thus lock up the free flow of experience.

Lost energy, lost Love, lost power, lost anything
is the result of denial,
of holding it away from you by not accepting it.
What was lost returns
when you forgive yourself for denying it and accept it.
This does not mean forgiving yourself for the behavior.
It means accepting the behavior
and forgiving yourself for not having accepted it before
as part of you and your learning experience.
Denial does not open space for improvement
because it disconnects from that which could teach it.
Denial is held in place with judgments and emotional control.
If, instead of understanding and accepting your experiences, you judge them,
you lock the energy into that rigid pattern of perception.

Judgments are thought forms attached to the thinker.
The feeling is the power behind the thought form.
each time the judgment is made again,
and the emotions around it remain unmoved or intensify,
the thought form intensifies.
If a person repeats judgments,

then he also repeats the experiences
involved with those judgments.

2010- still page 17 ["Judgment Release"]

Everything is a part of your learning experience.
Denial does not open space for improvement
because it denies that which could teach it.
Denial is held in place with judgments and emotional control.
Judgments do not open space for improvement
because they substitute criticism and the rigidity of lables
for good advice and discernment.

Judgment is not the same thing as discernment.
Discernment can draw on past experience,
but it also notices the differences.
Judgment release is necessary
because Spirit and Will cannot find alignment
in an energy field locked up by judgments.
The inner conflicts that have been keeping attunement away
have been misunderstandings,
however, if true understanding is to come,
full attention to the conflict is necessary.
Past experiences are a source of wisdom,
but judgments give false wisdom
because they do not see the situation for what it really is. Judgments also say
that the next experience will be the same as the last experience. This is the same as saying that nothing has been learned,
and also that there is nothing to learn
that could change things for the better.

Judgments are rigid thought forms attached to the thinker.
If you judge your experiences
rather than understanding and accepting them,
you lock the energy into rigid patterns of perception
that take your focus away from what could help you grow.
Each time the judgment is made again,
and the emotions around it remain unmoved, or intensify,
the thought form

"Solomo's Camel",
in Hebrew

of God)

in German,

on a
in the
of the
in which
I lived
for 3 years
at Modi'in,
a staircase
which I
for a little
money to
my rent

1984 - still page 19 ["Judgment Release"]

Finally, an experience with enough intensity
to bring release of the pattern
will be drawn.
This is learning by resisting the lessons
until you meet your match.

Holding rigid energy patterns
that must be broken through by intense experiences
is not the only way to learn.

Judgments are not necessary steps on the way to understanding.

1984 - page 20
["Judgment Release"]

Observation and evaluation,
learning and experiencing
can all take place without judgments.
Judgments are outside of time.
Judgments exist after the situation
in which they were made
no longer exists
and yet they continue to have power
to limit your possibilities.

Most judgments are made
when experience confuses the person's sense of understanding
and the person feels the need to define the situation.
Judgments do label and structure the situation,
but then they also limit energy movement
to the patterns the judgments have created.
In this way feelings
of not having enough understanding or personal power
are compensated for by imposing misunderstandings and judgments
that bring the illusion of control.

This pattern keeps the pendulum of karma swinging
until the balance is found.

Judgment release must be real and deeply felt,
not just given lip service or intellectual understanding.
Love is the way to release judgments.
Specifically, with Love and understanding forgive yourself for judging. Judgments are a way of giving conditional acceptance by saying,
"I can accept it if it is the way I say it is."
Unconditional Love doesn't judge,
it accepts the actuality.
Many times the actuality is so unacceptable
that the person insists the judgment is the actuality
This is denial of making judgments.
Intent determines the judgmental nature.
It is the spirit not the letter of the law that determines judgment.
If Love and acceptance are present,
something may even have seemingly judgmental words
without being a judgment.

Judgment-making stops the situation from changing.
A judgment sets you up to repeat situations until understanding is gained.
A judgment says something is such and such.
The label impedes change
and the more it is repeated, the more it conditions you.
For example, "Water is frightening" is a judgment.
The actual truth is:
"I almost drowned once, was frightened at that time
and have not yet released the fear."


1984 - still page 20 ["Judgment Release"]

People have thought that I was judgmental,
and that karma was punishment or a balance of payments for sins or debts. Actually karma is old conditioning
which is drawing the experience that could release it
and allow growth and change.

Emotional response to your karma r
eleases old conditioning of the Will
and judgment release frees the mind.
All karma then is essentially with yourself
since what you hold in your own energy

1984 - page 21
["Judgment Release"]

field draws your experiences to you.
You yourself can release
to change what you do not want to keep the same.
Judgments, karma, misunderstandings and conditioning
are all words to describe the same concept.
People have judged and misunderstood and even made laws
based on the idea that the nature of man must be controlled.
This control is slowing evolution drastically.
You can avoid making judgments by talking specifically,
and by not projecting your present opinions as eternal laws;
for if you do, you are the one controlled by them.

Judgment release is necessary
because the Spirit and Will
can't be free in an energy field literally clouded by judgments.
The Will seeks understanding.
The Will must feel trust in the Spirit to be comfortable in its search.
The Will can temporarily be forced to go ahead anyway,
but then the price paid is exhaustion, ill health, aging and death.

The ability to live a long life comes
when the Body is not forced to do what it doesn't want to do.
Many fear that doing what they want to do
will lead to inertia with resulting starvation,
but any Will that is not totally undermined
at least understands survival needs
and will take care of them one way or another.
Release of the judgment that you must work for everything
allows more freedom in creating solutions.

The inner conflicts that keep attunement away
are misunderstandings that are seeking understandings.
However, if true understanding is to come,
full attention to the conflict is necessary.
Past experiences are a source of wisdom,
but judgments give false wisdom.

Judgments do not see the situation for what it really is and also say that the next experience
will be the same as the past experience.
This is the same as saying
that nothing has been learned
that could change this for the better.

2010- page 19 ["Judgment Release"]

Release of judgments helps to free the energy locked up there.
Releasing held judgments can be done by saying to yourself,
in whatever way appeals to you,
that you no longer wish to limit yourself with a particular belief.
For example, you could say:
"I forgive myself for believing~~~"
or "I release the judgment that ~~~"
or "I no longer believe that ~~~"

There are many judgments that need release,
from the smaller events to the major thems in your life.
Some examples are,
"I forgive myself for judging and believing for so long
that she can never be pleased~~~
that he never listens~~~
that I can never be really free~~~
that anger is destructive."

Releasing judgments in this way sounds so simple,
but truly releasing them is not a matter of just saying words.
A real shift in how you feel must also take place.
There is so much longstanding conditoning
that it can take quite some time to shift some of these patterns.
Consider,also, the impact of socital habit pattrns
that speak in pronouncements
and thus, re-enforce the conditioning.

How then to stop judging?
Judgment is something you need to feel.
Your feelings can tell you when you are making a judgment
and,in fact, just feeling judgmental
can be enough to create judgments in yourself.
True understanding can replace judgments and habitual responses
when you can recognize and release the judgments
and give free expression to the emotions that have been held there.
Then self-forgiveness can come from a place that is real and deeply felt.

In the way that it is the spirit and not just the letter of the law,
intent also determines the judgmental quality.
If love and acceptance are present,
it is possible that statements may have seemingly judgmental words
without being an actual judgment.
This can include pure humor that doesn't project buried undercurrents.
Even so, given that so many people have become conditioned
to speak in judgments,
it can be very helpful to relearn ways of speaking
so that pronouncements are not being made when you say something.

Lost energy, lost love, lost power, lost anything
is the result of denial of aspects of the self,
of holding them away from you instead of accepting them.
What was lost can return when you can forgive yourself for denying it,
accept it and understand the possibilities for evolution there.
This can mean forgiving yourself for behavior,
but more often, it means forgiving yourself for the judgments
you placed against yourself for that behavior.
You can avoid making further judgments by speaking specifically
More views from the Yishai Waterfall in 2002 - in contrast to the opposite view, taken from the road towards the waterfall on December 3, 2011, see below
1984 - still page 21 ["Judgment Release"]

How then to stop judging?
Judgment is something you need to feel.
Your feelings will tell you when you are making a judgment
and in fact just feeling judgmental without saying anything
is enough to create judgment in yourself.
True understanding replaces judgments and habitual responses
when you give acceptance and allow the expression
that gives release to everything of yourself that you have imprisoned.

Emotions power judgments and together they confine reality
1984 - page 22
["Judgment Release"]

and influence the person holding them
to see things according to these judgments.
Judgments cannot dissolve
until they are seen for what they are.
Some judgments, however,
are so layered into the consciousness and empowered
that they have taken on the guise of fact.
The understanding is needed that these are judgments
that came through misunderstandings.
Release of these layers of clouded consciousness
will let in the light of true understanding
which will then allow success in all endeavors.

If a judgment is completely released,
reality can change very quickly.
If a judgment is partially released,
the energy will start to move
and patterns reminiscent of the judgment
will then appear in your life.
This is so that you can see
all the patterns involved in the judgment
and all the feelings powering it.
Continued release of everything that presents itself
will bring the complete release.
If you release emotion and release emotion
and don't really get full release and understanding,
then you are dealing with a symptom
and you need to seek the cause.
Cause may be hidden in a judgment you believe to be reality.

Some examples of judgments that have been believed to be reality
Everyone has to compromise to get along in this world;
If I have things my way I will be selfish;
I have to do this because I'm the only one person
and if I don't do it no one will accept me;
There is a certain order to things on Earth and I cannot go against it;
I have to die of something
so I may as well enjoy myself;
The Earth has settled down
and doesn't have any more big up-heavals to go through.
All people are similar.
So many people have prophesied things that haven't happened
that no one can tell the future anymore;
God doesn't work miracles on Earth anymore,
so maybe He never did;
Reality stays pretty much the same.

Many judgments control personal reality
but do not have the final word in world reality.
When many people hold judgments in common,
they have a strong effect on the way the world reality is held.

Judgments, however, are not reality
and sooner or later they trigger their own release.

Judgment is the word being used here,
but rather than arguing semantics,
please seek the spirit in which this word is being used.
Judgmental actions, feelings or words
take the situation at hand and project it into the future.
Everything is perfect for the moment in which it occurs and can evolve.

2010- page 20 ["Judgment Release"]

rather than projecting
your present opinions or assessments of a situation into the future
with your words,
as though this is how it is going to be foresever.

The following are some statements
that have been believed to be reality,
but are actually judgments:
"It is a sin to love self; one must love only God.
God doesn't talk to people like me.
If I think I hear voices, I'll be labeled 'crazy'.
No one is going to accept me unless I conform to their expectations.
Everyone has to compromise to get along in this world.
If I have it my way, I'm being selfish!
There's no way out of death or taxes.
I have to die of something, so I may as well enjoy myself.
There is a certain order to things on Earth, and I can't go against it.
The earth has settled down, so big upheavals are in the past.
So many people have prophesied things that haven't happened,
that no one can predict the future.
God doesn't work miracles on Earth anymore, so maybe He never did.
Reality stays pretty much the same.
This reality is the way it is, the way it's always been
and the way it'll always be."

Judgments are a way of giving conditional acceptance.
When the actuality has seemed so overwhelming or unacceptable,
people can want to insist that their judgments are the actuality.
This is denial of making judgments.
However, sometimes people are not ready
to face actuality of certain experiences
or the feelings surrounding them.
Even though denial has been a survival mechanism at those times,
if the intention is for full healing,
these denials have to be faced, accepted and understood
when the person is able.

Since making judgments stops the situation from changing
and sets you up to repeat situations
that are held within the framework of your judgments,
this has the effect of reducing your perceptions of reality
to something that may have seemed more manageable
at the time the judgments were made.

As I said, these judgments are often forgotten,
mistaken for reality and lost into the "subconscious."
These situations will, then, repeat until you realize
that you are not getting the evolution, change or personal growth
that you want in your life.


2010- end of p.20-21 "EMOTIONAL RELEASE"
In the 1984 version, this chapter appears only after the next chapter ['Realities precipitating toward Earth"].

There is another aspect to judgment release,
and that is emotional release.
Emotion is magnetic energy.
Judgments are held in place by unmoving emotions held in the Will.
Free Will offers the gift of a much broader spectrum of reality
in which feelings are balanced, free flowing, discerning and attuned enough
to warn you of any impending harm
In most people, at present, emotions and their accompanying judgments
have received many layers of conditioning that you have to accept reality as it is,
and also, that deviation is unrealistic, impossible and can have disastrous results.

The Will has been so denied and subjugated
that it needs an evolutionary process in order to catch up with present time.
When the Will is living in a constricted world of judgments,
it is unable to fully surface anything about itself,
and so, in the beginning of expressing any aspect of what has been held back,
it is going to need to beginn in any way that it can.
Even though it may look very messy and chaotic along the way,
rather than trying to get your Will to comply with a program of release applied by your mind,
this is a process that needs to be guided by your Will.
The process of freeing the Will from what has been holding it back
and what it has been holding back
is going to result infinding the needed alignment.

A judgment says that something is such and such,
and the more it is repeated, the more it can seem that the judgment is the reality.
There are man judgments held directly against freedom of emotional expression.
By releasing the judgments you hold against freedom of emotional expession,
you help them to show you what they need to express.
Being open to allowing whatever needs to happen
is part of the process of creating alternatives for yourself,
even alternatives that did not exist until you needed them.
As you move along in this process,
you can reach places of much deeper understanding
than you are going to be able to do just by reading about it.

Especially in the beginning, most of your emotional release is somethng
that needs to be done in a private and safe place.
If you have fear of hurting others with your emotional expression,
it is especially important to move along in this process by yourself
until you feel ready to express your emotions in the presence of another.
This is because a Will that has been heavily denied is going to be very backed up
and may be reactionary and immature when it is first expressing itself.
Even so, a Will that is beoming free needs to be allowed to express in its own terms,
which at first, may be a lot of words it has wanted to say, but couldn't.
These words may contain a number of judgments that need release.

2010- page 22 "EMOTIONAL RELEASE"
In the 1984 version, this chapter appears only after the next chapter ['Realities precipitating toward Earth"].

When you give your Will freedom, also do your best
not to overstep the boundaries you feel to be present for your own personal safety.
Your Will also needs this security.
The direct expression of emotions has been so judged against
that it can result in intervention of many kinds.
As you gain more understanding of what you have been holding in your Will,
you will also gain more clarity
about what is appropriate in terms of free Will expression in the reality of your daily life.

When people seek to resolve emotions with words or discussion alone,
they may think they know what they are feeling when they really don't.
Words alone do not give acceptance to the Will's own way of expressing itself.
While words can be helpful at the right time,
emotions neeed to be given the freedom to express with sounds.
Emotions have a role to fulfill
that cannot be denied in favor of the mind or anything else.
They may even need to be encouraged to express as sounds
that are not managed or controlled by the mind.
It is not balance of Spirit and Will
to use your mind to tell your emotions how they should be feeling
or how they should be expressing.
Emotions are not meant to be dismissed or managed in this way.

When emotions have arisen in response to a situation
and have not been given complete expression,
they do not go away; they subside and wait.
Emotions have a presence of their own,
and so, when the next situation arises
that reminds your emotions of the previous one where they were denied,
your emotions may not feel they can respond freely to the situation.
The emotional response will be colored by the earlier denials.
They may hold back until the pressure builds up to an eruption.
These are often efforts of the Will
to express not only in response [to] the present situation,
but also [to] what has been backed up from previous, similar situations.
You may feel this as added pressure
from the remaining residue of the unexpressed emotion that has been held back.
This old charge and the judgments made against your emotions' free expression,
both need to be released
before your emotions can respond to the present situation for what it is.

The usual pattern, however, has been
to repeat and increase the earlier denial
and put more pressure on the Will
if that expression feels like it is going to be more intense
than what appears to be appropriate.
Instead of allowing free expression to the emotions,
this pattern of suppression has been so pervasive
that emotions usually only express in situations
where they have had some acceptance in the past
and in ways that have been accepted.

2010- page 23 "EMOTIONAL RELEASE"
In the 1984 version, this chapter appears only after the next chapter ['Realities precipitating toward Earth"].

This is why so many women have converted all of their emotions to crying
and men have converted theirs to anger.

Instead of having the freedom to be self-determining,
the Will, then, is being managed and controlled by outer direction.
These are severe limitations on the Will's ability to evolve and integrate.
A helpful solution for this problem is to remove yourself from the triggering situation,
and allow your emotions freedom of expression in a private place.
This will give you a chance to get to know this part of yourself better than you do now.

Sometimes, pent-up emotions, or old charge, build up to the point
where they have caused the Will to do things
that have seemed to prove the judgments against it.
Alcohol and drug use have often provided openings
through which judged against parts of the self have found some expression.
Then, people have often said it was the alcohol or the drugs
and avoided taking responsitility for
the pressure they have on their Will.

The emotional body in many people has taken on the appearance
of something so dark, alienated and destructive
that many spiritual teachers have perceived this to be evidence
that the emotions should be controlled or even gotten rid of.
However, this would not be the appearance of the emotional body
if it were given the acceptance it needs to bring itself into balance.
By mistaking judgments for reality,
it has long been thought that people must rise above their "lower nature"
and abdicate, or let go of, these parts of themselves in favor of their idea of Spirit.

Many people who have said that they want to help increase the spiritual presence on Earth
are still holding judgments and unmoved emotions
that have been limiting their ability to know
what a healthy Spirit on Earth is supposed to be like.
Many of these people have treated more feeling-based people
as though they are less evolved
and have implied as much, or even told this to them.
Many therapists, and others, in positions of "Authority", have also done this.
These people have had confusion about manifestation and what it means.

The magnetic energy is the part of Me that holds manifestation present,
but this does not mean that it is supposed to be locked into a Form by judgments.
The magnetic energy is an equal part of Me
and is not to be judged against or denied.
No part of the self is to be denied.
The self is not to be viewed as something to shed
in order to attain enough enlightenment to reach Me.
I want this Creation to evolve, not go back on itself. I want companions,

2010- page 24"EMOTIONAL RELEASE"
In the 1984 version, this chapter appears only after the next chapter ['Realities precipitating toward Earth"].

I want pain and death to end as soon as possible.
Pain, suffering and death are the results of denial.

The Will is meant to guide and protect you.
The reason the Will has not been able to do this is because of the denial it has received.
To end this denial
you need to open into unconditional acceptance of your emotional expression.
If you immediately fear upon reading this,
that you and others will get violent and do harm,
you need to realize that you have undermined your Will very seriously.
in this case, the most helpful beginning point would be
to go to a safe place
and, without harming yourself or anyone else, express rage with sounds.

Keep doing this
until you have expressed enough, and released enough judgments,
to be able to trust
that you can express your anger without having to control a need to be violent.
When you are allowing this emotional expression,
do not calm yourself by talking to yourself
or force calm in any way that indicates you do not have acceptance for this rage.
Calm needs to come from release of rage.
This can actually be a good starting place,
because the intensity can release a lot of old charge at once.
As long as you are in a safe place,
you can let this expression take any form it needs to take,
including feelings of hatred for others,
hatred for your rage
and whatever other feelings you have with it,
such as powerlessness or feeling unacceptable.
When rage is allowed to express, it can often sink into grief at some point.

Intense release needs this understanding: As long as you are in a safe place, loss of control is only bad if you hold judgments against it.
Loss of control can actually allow you to break up old habitual patterns of response.
Do be aware that extreme rage can sometimes break off from yur normal consciousness, making itdifficult to remember what you have done.
Do your bet to stay in that safe place, so that you do not act out.
If you have fear about what your rage might do,
making the sounds of that fear couldhelp.
You can also ask for My Loving Light to be present to protect you.
In doing so, you may find out that you are enraged at Me, or atleast at the images of Me that you have.
Expressing rage at Me is also alright.
I have unconditioned acceptance for what needs to vibrate in the Will to bring healing.
Now,My Light wants to give some more information on what is meant by emotional release.
When you have any feeling of emotion come up,
feel it in your body until you have an urge, or even a nudge, to express it in some way.
Then, express in the way your Body is urging you to do.
If you cannot make sounds at first

2010- page 25 "EMOTIONAL RELEASE"
n the 1984 version, this chapter appears only after the next chapter ['Realities precipitating toward Earth"].

make whatever sound you can,
even if it is a little moan or peep.
If you need to start with words, let yourself do that.
If you do this enough in each situation,
you can loosen yourself up and reach what is called ignition .
Ignition is the point when your emotions take you over temporarily
and do exactly what they need to do
You need not control this in any way other than to make sure you do not really hurt anyone.

Part of this expression may be movements such as thrashing, kicking or rolling.
If you feel you must act out in some way,
you can use a pillow, or something else, as a symbol of what you want to act out on.
You can hit or beat,
but bring your awareness present so that you realize you are acting out,
and do not do this to another living being.
If your emotions want to make sounds, do your best to allow it.
It is important to surrender to the expression while it is happening,
and let it take its course freely.
Be in a state of openness and acceptance as much as possible,
and express in this way until you feel no further need to do it.
Let your emotional movement show you
what it has been holding and what it has to teach.

Pay attention to everything that comes into your consciousness at this time.
Other emotions may have some presence there.
Let everything that happens find acceptance with you, instead of denial.
When the expression, or movement, of your emotional release subsides,
rest, drink water
and remain open to what else may want to surface in your consciousness.
Judgments may surface.
If not, seek the judgments you feel ready to release.
Threads in other similar incidents may appear.
If not, seek the threads, or patterns,
that connect this experience to other similar situations.
Be open to understandings.
This may take many more sessions than you realize
when you first begin to contact what you have been holding.

If you do not find love right away
for the parts of yourself that have been held outside of your acceptance,
you can start by finding compassion for yourself.
Looking deeper may be what you need,
or you may not be finished with those feelings and viewpoints.
You can let more movement happen when you are ready.
You can ask for My Loving Light to come into these places.

The understandings you can receive from doing this
are not anything I can put in a book.
Each of you has your own karmic path to resolve
and this process can greatly accelerate it.
You may find
that your emotions have so much to teach you that you did not realize previously,
that you may soon find you want your

2010- page 26 "EMOTIONAL RELEASE"
n the 1984 version, this chapter appears only after the next chapter ['Realities precipitating toward Earth"].

emotions to surface and release their old charges
so that you can open space to receive My Loving light,
gain understandings, remember your past, learn and begin to feel free again.
You will find that you feel better,
and your Body will feel much better
when it no longer has to hold what you have been suppressing.

In some places in your emotional body,
you may find some old charge that you fear
and/or old charge that has too much fear of rejection
to come forth easily in this release process.
It is important to trust the progression
in which your own Will wants to surface these held charges.
The Will has many things layered into it, and this must be respected.
The progression you are going to experience
is going to be the right progression for you,
so do not try to jump ahead to where you think you want to go
or pressure your Will, or someone else's Will,
to express as you want it to express or to be where you think it should be.
Remember to ask for My help, and accept the help I send.
I may speak to you and give you some guidance here,
or your desire may draw an experience
to trigger the movement you need when you are ready.

Although, at first you may feel more confused and frightened than you have ever been because you do not yet know what has been running you,
this process is going to increase your ability
to receive guidance from both your own Spirit and your Will.
If you feel you are not ready,
you can remain at a more surface level of understanding,
but at least let yourself be aware of this,
and be as attentive as you can be to the reflections you need
in order to deepen your understanding.

Seeking the depth of understandings you need,
must be based in emotional movement.
You also need to receive guidance from Me and/or your own Spirit
in order to surface and process everything you need to heal.
Freeing of your emotions to vibrate is what you need
to become better able to receive this guidance.
If you start where you are and release everything you can as completely as you can, whenever you feel triggered
(and I do not mean that if you cannot give emotional expession to everything, every time that you cannot recover)
you can free your emotional body rather quickly,
especially relative to how long these patterns have been in place.
How long this takes depends upon how much denial you have had in the past.
Do find compassion for yourself no matter what your situation.

The Will is meant to receive from the Spirit and trust its guidance,
and the Spirit is meant to receive from the Will and trust its response.
The more you can clear your emotional body,
2010- page 27 "EMOTIONAL RELEASE"
n the 1984 version, this chapter appears only after the next chapter ['Realities precipitating toward Earth"].

the more openness you will have with which to receive.
This will bring you the guidance you need to clear whatever you are ready to clear.
Trust is also an issue here.
If you fear being misled, get as much movement into this fear as you can
and grant yourself space to learn.
As your fear is able to vibrate,
you will increase your ability to recognize Me as a loving presence
and to be able to discern what does not feel loving.

Even though many people do not, at present, think they really want to hear from Me
and would prefer to face their own reflection without knowing it,
some do want My help.
Those who want My help will receive it in one form or another.
If the form presented here feels right to you,
try trusting that and find out for yourself what this process has to offer.
I can see what is for your own highest good,
and it may not always be what you want it to be,
but it can bring you the triggers you need
to recover your entire self and bring it into loving balance.
You can pray and ask for the protection and guidance of My Loving Light.
You can also pray and ask for help
to notice everything you need for the highest good in your own healing
while they are still gentle triggers.
However, if you want your emotional release in response to gentle triggers,
you must pay attention
and not overlook, ignore or judge yourself to be overreacting to mild situations.

Your emotional body cannot evolve
if it is limited to old habit patterns of response.
This is not a matter of what is presently socially acceptable;
this is a matter of seeing that the Will on Earth has become so desperate
that it must be allowed to vibrate and receive Loving Light now.
Past attempts of the Will to recover without the help of the Spirit
have not been successful
and have resulted in more denial of the Will
and more loss of power in general.
Rght Use of Will is allowing the self to be free.

However rocky its beginnings may look,
the balance needed in order to manifest unconditional love
will come in the Age unfolding on Earth now.
This, however, does not mean that you should abdicate your own participation
because you think everything is taken care of.
This is a personal imbalance.
If you want to participate, you need to find
what you have judged against and denied in your own self,
and bring it within your own loving acceptance.
However, if you are, at first, unable to accept this information,
this does not necessarily mean that it is not right time.
Allowing your feelings to express
and gain the vibration necessary to receive the light of understanding
can bring you to the place of right time to end your denials.
2010- page 28 "EMOTIONAL RELEASE"
n the 1984 version, this chapter appears only after the next chapter ['Realities precipitating toward Earth"].

As you move along in this process,
the attributes of the Will can become more able
to balance with the Spirit's overview, inspiration and other qualities
so that you know what is pleasant and possible for you in any given moment.
This balance in the Heart is what creates a reality
that allows needs to be met without overriding anyone or anything.

All the gifts of Right Use of Will can come to you
when you really align with accepting them
by allowing your Will the freedom of expression it needs.
You can open space for change
by letting your pent-up emotions express as the sounds they want to make
and release the accompanying judgments as they surface.
This allows the energy to move and vibrate.




December 2 , 2011 - January 13, 2012

On November 1, 2011, I felt,
that I should re-read and copy the second and third RUOW book, as much as linear "TIME" will allow, and juxtapose them to the first, the BLUE BOOK.
Below I "managed" to insert
(max space: 1300 kb!) the pages 58-83 of each of the two books. In time I'll add links to the content titles.

The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
"If there is a God who has any power,
then why is it the way that it is on Earth?"
The ways in which people have answered this question
have consisted mostly of rationalizations designed to help better accept what their feelings do not want to accept.
The Unseen Role of Denial is why it's been the way it's been.
When we deny parts of ourselves,
these parts can become so lost from us
that they find other ways to express,
even expressing through other people.

This book begins the story of our ancient beginnings
and the misunderstandings born from lack of experience".
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations
When the Will receives judgment instead of love and light,
it becomes lost from the light and thus the term, "Lost Will."
The definition of love needs to be expanded
to include emotions that have been labeled "negative."

Much of what we've judged to be negative
became lost so long ago no one remembers what happened to it.
These lost memories go as far back as our origins.
How you really feel
is what needs expression
and in the most natural way possible.

..., suspend words and emphasize non-verbal sounds.
Doing this in private can evolve these emotions.

                            WHICH HINDSIGHT GAVE ME THERE ......64
                            AND APPEAL TO HEART FOR BALANCE ......94
                            THAT NOT ALL SPIRITS ARE SPIRITS OF THE LIGHT ......129
                           THE SERAPHIMS AND THE CHERUBIMES NEED NOW ......142

              BETWEEN SPIRIT, HEART      AND WILL, BODY......88
GAPPED RAGE ......146

Continuation from Violet and Purple Book, pages 38-57 at the bottom of the page


The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations

We were also naming the older spirits now and having a little ceremony to accompany the naming, sort of like a Christening might be thought of now.

Lucifer located himself to one side. The Mother felt that his laughter was a smirking rather than a joining in the merriment of the others. She hated him for smirking, but did not know if hating him was alright or not. She had guilt about Her own lack of acceptance for everything; perhaps Lucifer was only more honest about it than she was. She did not know that the judgments She held against Herself for feeling at odds with Me were being reflected to Her by Lucifer. She feared being like him because he felt could, critical and unloving.

As soon as Lucifer noticed Her having these thoughts, he told Her that She was not right to feel about him as She did, because he was just there to let Her know that it was Her own inability to accept reality that made Her fear it. The Mother feared that Lucifer was right; that She had not opened to experience and that She had judged it in advance of experiencing it.

The Mother had a confusion here that has gone on for so long, it is not easy to straighten it out now: There is a great difference between judging against something without opening to find out what it is, and opening to receive something and then allowing yourself to know that it is not for you. You also need to understand that the length of time spent in the presence of something does not necessarily determine openess to it or understanding of it. It is highly possible to know something the instant you focus on it and it is also possible to live in the presence of something and never know it. You must feel something to know what it is and this is the most important lesson the Will has to teach, even now.

The Mother was not understood in the beginning. Because We did not understand how to clear the original conditioning the Mother received, We did not clearly understand what effect this conditioning was having on the present. I knew that the Mother was not allowing Me to have the experience I wanted to have, but I did not know why She was having this effect on me, and I did not understand why feelings from Her past pursued Her into the present. I had blame for Her, but not understanding. Because the Will's original conditioning was not released, We did not get a chance to see how the Creation could have gone if this conditioning had not been there.

Because of the original denials, the Mother was not clear.


When there is old charge held in the Will, you cannot see the present clearly. The Mother had old feelings that did not allow Her to know whether She was responding accurately to the situation or judging it before She allowed Herself to know it. As time went on, We found that it is not even possible to know a situation for what it really is when old conditioning is present.

Lucifer took advantage of the Mother here because it was His intent to undermine the Will. Lucifer told the Mother that She could not know what the experience of the Creation was going to be because She was judging everything in advance. He told Her that Her judgments gave Her the experience She expected to have.

The Mother was very frightened and upset by what Lucifer told Her, because it sounded right but it felt terrible. The Mother was so frightened about Herself that She could not realize, at that time, that it felt terrible to receive this from Lucifer, because there was no love present in what lucifer said.

Since it was not known how to change the feelings the Mother had, she felt that She could not gain acceptance unless She played the role that we all seemed to want Her to play. She feared that She was wrong to have the other feelings that seemed so displeasing to the rest of Us, and She resolved to try very hard to be more positve about what was happening. The more She did this, the more denial went into Lost Will.

The Mother tried to act gay and not look at the pictures She didn't like. She had fun in spite of Herself, and even joined the father of Manifestation in making music to go along with the visions We were having. The music seemed to lift the visions higher, and the visions in turn inspired the music until we were all feeling nearly orgasmic together. When there was a vision that We all particularly wanted to have happen, We had a great burst of light around it and these visions, then, began to have a greater life within Us than the others.

It seemed as though focus on the positive worked. We were innocent then and did not know how it felt to be ignored by the light, until guilt began to point it out later. We were having fun as innocently as an audience applauding in a movie theater.

The Mother watched the "applause meter" closely to see if Her choices were going to be the choices of others. The Mother's fear that She was alone in Her choices seemed to be confirmed, as most of the visions that received the biggest response did not include the Mother's presence. She then feared even more that

to prefer flaunting His actions as though overstepping My limits meant I was not the boss.

When the Father of Manifestation disregarded My limits, the Mother became even more terrified than She already was, but She was too terrified to express Her terror. She knew we hated Her fear but She also knew that it enraged the Father of Manifestation even more than He already was when She did not respond to Him as a being of power and wisdom who also deserved Her respect.

The Father of Manifestation could feel the presence of Her terror although He did not know the depth of it. He did not want to face the reflection here so He chose to view Her fear as a sign of fearful respect for Him similar to the fearful respect He knew She had for Me.

The Father of Manifestation viewed fearful respect as better than nothing because He already feared that the Mother saw Me as being more important than He was. He feared this meant that if the Mother had to make a choice she would choose Me.

The Father of Manifestation had fears similar to Mine about letting go of the Mother. Neither One of Us had the feeling that there was another partner that was really right for Us, but neither of Us could stand what was happening when we were with the Mother either. We were frightened and angry enough to fight over who had the best claim on the Mother, but We weren't allowing these feelings to surface.

On the surface, We were acting aloof and detached, waiting to see what Her move was going to be. The Mother was awash in the guilt of having two lovers and feeling unable to choose between Them. The Father of Manifestation let go of Her to see what She was going to do because He did not feel certain of His position with Her. He feared He might be trying to make more of Himself than He really was when He felt that the Mother was his right Partner. Just as much as His rage wanted to assert that He was My equal, His fear said that He was not and that He was not even a rightful part of the Godhead. Guilt caused Him to hold back His feelings so well here that I did not find out what they were until I understood their Lost Will reflection.

I, on the other hand, did not yet know that I had any fears of the Mother being above Me. I feared She had diminished Herself so seriously that She could no longer keep up with Me. I viewed this as the reason She was not in My presence any more than She was. I had many reasons for avoiding the issue of My fading


relationship with the Mother, many of which I have already given, but I would like to mention another one now. I had the impression that the Mother loved the Father of Manifestation more than She loved Me and I did not want to give Her a chance to reject Me. I had Angels in Her place already and I was trying to groom them to fill Her role if necessary.

When I saw the Mother and the Father of Manifestation making love against My wishes it amplified My fears, but I also had blame and rage toward both of Them.They had not even invited Me! The Mother appeared to be trying to hide, and the Father of Manifestation appeared to be inviting a confrontation. This gave Me the impression that They were being willfully defiant and even in opposition to My wishes.

I thought the Mother was diminishing Herself everytime She made love. I also saw that when She did this, She was opening Herself to take in darkness. I thought She was doing this because She wanted to take in darkness. I saw Her as turning against Me and I hated Her for it.

I hated the Father of Manifestation also. I thought He was the cause of many of the Mother's problems and when I saw Her trying
to resist Him, I blamed Him for taking advantage of the Mother's need to feel loved. I thought He should do as I had done and give Her more of a chance to choose. I did not realize that Will and Body could not hold off from love-making the way I could. I viewed them as lower than Me because of this.

I was enraged at Them but I did not let it into My consciousness. I only told Myself that They needed lessons in discipline. I felt that I could not trust Will and Body to follow my lead anymore and that I was going to have to find ways to make Them align with Me. These unresolved feelings of Ours which had moved into the LostWill were already engaged in battles with each other, but I did not know it yet.


When I told the Heart Spirits not to pressure others, I did not know how involved in pressuring I already was. The Verdeloka could not follow My advice because I was not following it Myself.

My Lost Will was moving out and reflecting realities that were

The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations

She was not accepted or loved. She feared again that the only place in Creation She would be given was outside of Me. Nothing looked good to Her, in that case, and in addition to Her many other feelings, She had a rage over it that She was afraid to show.

Lucifer liked it that the Mother felt rejected, and he made use of it by telling Her that She could never be sure She was loved, if She had to ask for love. The undercurrent his message carried to the Mother was that it was inappropriate and self-defeating to express the feelings of hurt and rejecton that She felt. She already knew that Lucifer did not make Her feel good, but now She was unsure as to whether Her feelings toward him were a fault in Her or unlovingness coming from him. It was very confusing to the Mother that Lucifer seemed to make sense and even speak truth, and yet, he made Her feel so bad. The Mother wanted the truth to feel good to Her, and She feared that if Lucifer was speaking truth, She had preference for living a lie. She could not see another way then, given the understandings She had, and so she wanted to try even more not to feel the feelings that did not feel good.

The Mother then turned to Me with Her fear and confusion. She opened to receive Me, hoping I would help Her. I turned Her down saying that I was too involved in what was going on to make room right then for Her fears and doubts. She knew that I felt like She was being a drag on My good time again, and even though I had sympathy for Her, I did not want to have to deal with Her right then.

The spirits that felt what happened between Myself and the Mother right then took it to mean that they were more interesting to Me than She was, because they had the visions that I wanted to see and the Mother did not. I actually did not have preference for one over another, but in their eyes, I had acted as though I did. Ever since then, many of the Heart Angels have had an aggrandized image of the importance of their relationship with Me. This misunderstanding got acted out later in the Angelic experience in ways which you are later going to have to accept, even though it may be hard to understand at first.


When I turned down the Mother, She turned to the Father of Manifestation because He felt warm and good to Her, and I


was feeling cool and detached. He felt Her pain and moved it as He found it, reassuring Her all the while that She had to have a place in Creation or there would not be a Creation. The Mother felt that He was not wrong, but She could not shake the feeling that She was going to have to go through too much to prove it right.

The Father of Manifestation held the Mother of Everything and tried to comfort Her. Pretty soon, They were making love. They felt guilty about not including all of Us, but They could not hold Themselves back. The Mother did not allow any emergences, but having an orgasm could not be hidden. I saw it and I had to flood Them with love because the beauty of the light was so great.

Everyone saw the light and had expectation of more emergences. They were not disappointed. Receiving my acceptance allowed the Mother to give in and the Second Order of Angels appeared. These Angels had more gold light than any of the others.

"At last," the Mother thought, "some spirits have taken after Me."

She felt joy at their emergence because She believed that these spirits would be able to understand Her. These Angels had well defined hands and more body definition than the others had had. they were also winged and did not have feet.

These spirits had some guilt that they had emerged in the middle of the Heart Angels' festivities, but they said that they could not hold back anymore because they so much wanted to see the visions manifest. I named their order Manifesting Angels and gave them a warm welcome. At first I thought that these Angels could help the Mother, but I soon realized that they had taken after the Father of Manifestation. The Father of Manifestation loved the Mother and so did these Angels, but they did not like having to receive Her pain or Her complaints. Several of them came forward right away and told the Mother that She should quit worrying because they were going to help with the manifestation and make sure that everything went alright.

The Manifesting Angels had a desire to show Us right away how they could manifest things with their hands. They had greetings for all and made speeches that had certain visions as their focus. The First Order of Angels were able to project these visions and the Second Order of Angels were able to hold the visions steady and give them a vividness they didn't have before. The Second Order of Angels had the power to give more form to

in opposition to My teachings and I did not understand what was causing this to happen.

When the Verdeloka wanted to tell Me that they were having trouble with the Mother of Everything and the Father of Manifestation, they were not sure how I would respond if they brought this forward since I was not bringing forward My own problems here. My lack of straightforwardness was making others feel they could not be straightforward either.

The Verdeloka thought the Mother's negativity meant that She was not loving. They feared Her and wanted to avoid Her as I did. They did not know how to respond to Her if they responded in the ways that She made them feel. They hated Her for not loving them in the ways they wanted Her to, but they did not allow themselves to acknowledge this hatred for fear it meant that they were no more loving than they thought She was. The Heart Spirits have always feared that responding to negativity with negativity makes them the same as the thing they are responding to. They have never let go of the fear that no matter what, they have to be accepting in order to set the example.

Heart Spirits have often seen themselves as being more loving than those around them while those around them have often viewed the Heart Spirits as holier-than-thou types. They need to let this fear move now by giving a broader definition to love than it has been given in the past.

Bringing 'negative' emotions within love by accepting them without patronization is very necessary now, not only for personal happiness and wholeness, but also because the reflection of unlovingness on Earth at this time is directly related to Heart denials. Unlovingness is a direct result of loving essence being told that it is unloving. The reasons why this essence has believed the charges against it for so long are the reasons being explained in the story I am telling you now. There is no faster way to heal unlovingness on Earth than to feel your own hating, blaming rage move until you understand it and learn how to evolve it.

Hating others for what you feel sure you would never do yourself in your starting point. Let yourself hate them and let this hatred move in you until you are able to know that it is really you out there and no one else giving you the reflection of what you have not found acceptable in yourself.

Recognizing these patterns intellectually is not going to move them enough to stop what is happening on Earth. You need to


move through anger and into the kind of rage that works you like a bellows to move the essence that has been denied here. You need to move rage until you feel its loving presence as essence that seeks to protect you from threats to your own survival.

Heart presence has a direct link to survival that has been heavily denied but needs to be understood now. Survival is not meant to be judged a dirty word that calls up ugly pictures of "Me first at all costs". Survival is loving the self first and loving the self enough not to allow it to be harmed.

You must love yourself first or you cannot love another, but guilt has said that this is the opposite of My teaching, Guilt has said that I have taught by example that it is more loving to think of everyone else first and the self last. The judgments against the survival chakra have given the reflection of ugliness so often seen when people put themselves first no matter what.

Everyone has thought that sacrifice is loving and that the ones who sacrifice themselves are more loving than the ones who do not. The ones who have received benefit from the sacrifice of others have the guilt that they are not as loving as the ones who have sacrificed themselves. Among some spiritual people, there has even been undercurrent competition to see who could sacrifice the most and thus be the most holy.

Guilt has been directing this behavior and it leads to the ruination of Us all. Heart Spirits especially need to understand this, but all spirits are involved. Guilt wants sacrifice
.Love knows that what is good for the one is good for the One, but guilt, judgment and denial have caused so much confusion that We have taken Ourselves nearly to the brink of ruin and death and We are still trying to hold back Our survival chakra from trying to save Us.

Heart is involved here because Heart thought He would be selfishly thinking of Himself if He came to Me with His complaints about the lack of alignment between the Mother and Me. He held back as long as He could until He finally realized that it was not possible to hold back anymore. I have involvement in the form of Lost Will that needs to move now on Earth. The Mother has involvement in that Her fear made Her hold back Her response to the denials She was receiving. Body has involvement in that He did not bring His point of view forward either, but I have the causal role because I originated the examples that everyone else followed.

It is imperative that this pattern of self-sacrifice move now.The survival of everthing is at stake. Nothing can be denied and

The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations

the visions and this gave the visions more of a feeling of life within themselves. The Second Order had a focus on detail that We had not had manifest [sic] before. This focus allowed more intricate patterns. The First Order was bringing forward visions they selected from the vastness within My Heart and the Second Order was defining the details and giving the visions a feeling of living form.

The Second Order of Angels wanted to join the party we were already having rather than have a separate party of their own. The Second Order wanted to add their vividness to everything that was already happening. They began manifesting right there, and for the first time, We had instruments upon which to play music.

The spirits that had already emerged had a desire to go to the Second Order and have them refine their forms.The Filmy white of the spirits began to take on more definition. The tendencies to billowing, cloudlike forms, wispy, trailing streamers and featheriness began to appear more clearly as well as the qualities within those forms of bounce, resilience, soft openess, whirling power, wind, stir of breezes and the rippling and rocking of light waters in the air. The ethers began to manifest smells associated with each form, and everything began to sparkle more intensely with the many colors the ethers held within. The beauty of Our luminescence increased.

I wept with joy and happiness at the beauty of it, and also with the fear that I was not good enough to be God anymore. Spirit had already begun to feel like a backround presence that was ignored and taken for granted.


The spirits did not seem to notice My state, so swept up were they in what they were doing. It was as though they were trying on costumes at a magnificent costume ball, and dancing in and out of the multi-media visions of the Heart. They were accompanied by the Music of the Heavens that drew its inspiration from both the celebration and the backdrop of stars sparkling in the vastness of the space around Us.

I found the Mother near Me immediately, holding Me as I wept and making love to Me. I filled Her with all I felt at the time. I feared She might fairly burst with it, but Her acceptance of Me made Me unable to hold back. Her left hand was holding


My heart when I had another burst of light and the Third Order of Angels came forth. They also had a desire to make sure that everything was alright, and came to Me immediately to report that as far as they were concerned, I had nothing to fear. They told Me that they knew that I was the Source of All Life and that all any spirit could do was refine the inspiration that I had to give them. They said that they were sure that everything manifest was Me allowing myself to express the vast complexities of My Own Being.

"We," they said, "are only a part of You telling You what You need to hear now."

The Third Order of Angels were not desirous of running off after form. They were more interested in sitting with Me and remaining as close to Me as possible. These Angels had very highly developed inner senses of hearing, seeing, smelling, feeling love's presence, touching, feeling emotion of Spirit and sensing the perfect response to give.

If the Second Order of Angels were the outher, these Angels were the inner. The Third Order of Angels had a feeling for Me because they understood that I was the inner, just as the Father of Manifestation was the outer. They told Me that the Father of Manifestation was the source of power for the Second Order of Angels.


The Mother now wanted to know where She fit in, and I had a desire to help Her that I had not had earlier. I told Her to give in to Her response to everything around Her and allow emotion to give a depth and magnitude to everything manifest.

"Feeling joy is the Mother," I told Her, but I also let Her know that I had realized that fear and sadness are also the Mother. She gave in then and allowed Me to love Her while She felt everything and gave Her response.

The mother came forth with a great song that moved all in the heavens except one. When the Mother felt that one and could not move him no matter what She tried, She felt hatred for Herself, and did not realize it was him that she felt. The Mother, I then realized, had mirrored every spirit to himself, and if a spirit had no love, She mirrored that also.

sacrificed in favor of anything else because it takes all the parts to make the whole that can live. Rage has understood this all along, but it has been told it was being ugly and selfish. No one has wanted to listen to it. Rage has a lot to say, and the more you let it move; the more you will know what it is.

While you are moving the emotions you need to move to get to the underlying rage I am talking about here, there is a Lost Will reflection o Heart that you can understand now.


Inasmuch as children represent the heart balance of the parents at the time of conception, most children reflect the denied emotions of their parents at that time. As long as these emotions remain denied in the parents, they will deny their children here and not be able to find alignment with them in these areas. If your children enrage you, let them trigger you into rage, but do not direct it at them because you really have this rage toward the other parent and toward yourself. If you can't express this to the other parent, then you need to move it in yourself first.

It is not possible to reach alignment when there is not love, so I am not saying I am against divorce, but I am pointing out that it is not possible to have aligned children when there is not an alignment between parents. When parents cannot align, the children need to be free to seek their own alignment. This may mean that the parents need to be sensitive to the shifts between parents that these children need to make while growing up.

Instead of applying a rigid form to custody cases, children need to be allowed to indicate which parent they prefer to live with and not be judged for it. If their choice changes later, the need to be allowed to make this change also. These children need to be given the space to find out who they are in the middle of a wrench that has often torn them in two. The pretense of having two homes is not helpful if they are only aligned with one of them. If you are faced with a child who reminds you of a parent you no longer love and who you feel a need to criticize in front of the child, you probably need to let the child go and live with that parent. If you don't have that option, then try moving the emotions the child triggers in you without directing them at him.



The Verdeloka were really afraid of the hatred they felt moving around Lucifer but they were afraid to show their feelings. Their fear was that it was not possible to feel hatred and be love at the same time. They were not wrong, but they had confusion that needs to move out now.

When the Heart Spirits took in feelings they recognized as love, it was alright, but when they took in feelings that felt unloving, the Heart Spirits did not move them back out again for fear their expression would mean that Heart had become unloving. Thus Heart took in and held unlovingness, and because it held unlovingness within, it began to meet this reflection in outward experience.

The Heart Spirits did not realize how similar the Mother's problems were to their own. They had a feeling of blame for the Mother because they felt the Mother was trying to give them Will essence that did not feel good. This essence had to pass through Heart for the Spirit Polarity to receive and enlighten it but the Heart Spirits felt like rejecting it instead.

Heart was denying the Mother here because Heart did not know that once these negative feelings received love, they could transform rather quickly. But Heart was also denying the Mother because Heart was feeling Me and I was not open to receive the Mother here. Ths denial on My part gapped the Mother from Us and gave Her the problems that now need to heal. I am sorry this happened and sorry that the Mother got blamed for the reflection She had to give.

Negative feelings have to be responding to something and that is what needs to be looked at now. I was causal here more than I realized and my denials were creating a negative reaction in the Will. The understandings I am giving now will allow Heart to heal and manifest the Love that is needed now because Heart must have My help to transform the denials the Will has been holding.

I am sorry that Heart was hurt by the lack of alignment between its parents and I have guilt that Creation has not had an easier path to follow, but I also have understanding that it was this way because it had to be this way.
[the following passage was quoted by me already 2009_06_26 in puzzle piece 26]
We can change this now if you are willing to take this path of increasing self-acceptance. We all had a lack of self-acceptance in the beginning, and I originated

While going out into the garden - on December 11, 2011 - I discerned this delightful picture -
the sun from the west shining through the geranium leaves on a vine which twists itself around a laundry rope on the veranda
on the background of the blossoming
Acacia Saligna -Shitah Makchilah, the "Invader plant", which has sown itself in a row of five.
The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations

The Third Order of Angels confirmed that I had felt the Mother's worth and had given Her an acceptance that She had not had before. My acceptance of Her encouraged Her to open to Me in a way She had not opened before, and with a great cry of emotion gave Me another orgasm. The light was brilliant golden white, and it gave birth to the Fourth Order of Angels. The Fourth Order felt immediate guilt over the great passion that had excited them to come forth, but they had not felt the depth that could move them earlier.

The Fourth Order of Angels had great passion, compassion and love. They had power of emotion similar to the Mother, and felt that emotion could give movement to the forms that were manifesting, and could even propel them out into the Creation to find their right place. Manifested forms could now go forth and find the right place to fulfill what they had emerged to live.

As much as I had felt the Third Order of Angels to be the Father's Angels, I now felt the Fourth Order to be the Mother's Angels. The Mother finally had some children who took after Her. Everything felt balanced now, and We felt that We really could celebrate life, Creation, and everything that had happened so far. We had a feeling of what you might call being on top of the universe. We felt that We had completely touched the inner circle of light. A great step had been completed in Our great journey to the stars. we alll felt the rightness of the desire to go forth now and felt not only fulfilled but also uplifted and full of excitement of the great adventure We had undertaken.


We had a feeling of needing to rest for a while and of wanting to get to know the spirits that had already emerged. We had done a lot of creating and manifesting already, and We did not want to proceed until We felt sure We were doing it right.

We knew that We had to allow essence the freedom to emerge as it wanted to and when it wanted to, but We had questions about some of the emergences already. We already wondered how much guidance could be given to spirits without overriding the freedom they needed to define themselves .
We felt that spirits


that were maniesting needed some help and parenting , and yet the Mother had already experienced rejection when She told the spirits they needed Will presence to stay manifested.

We tried to teach the spirits by telling them stories about Our long struggles to learn so many things that We could so easily show them now. Although We had fun telling these stories, We also found that many spirits rejected at least some of the understandings We gave them. Heart realized then that more experience than He had foreseen was going to be necessary before many teachings could be accepted as understandings.

We had Lost Will then that could not open to receive the understandings We were trying to give. We did not understand then why this Will could not open to receive Us, but I have since learned that Will must move in order to open and receive. The rejection the Will was already receiving was creating the Lost Will, which was not moving because it was not being given the accetance it needed to be able to move. The Will must have acceptance before it can move; it cannot move and hope it will gain acceptance later.

When the Will holds back, it is not possible to evolve it. It does not matter what you tell it or how many times it has a particular experience, it cannot learn anything new unless it is allowed to move all of the old feelings it is holding.

Old denials in the form of held feelings, and the judgments that make the feelings feel they have to hold back, can make you feel like future experiences will be pretty much the same as experiences you have had in the past. These feelings of projecting the past onto the future are not wrong; they happen because the Will is holding old conditioning from the past. As long as the Will is doing this, the Will cannot help but project the past onto the present and into the future.

Effective release from old patterns involves effective release of the Will's held emotion and the judgments that have made the Will hold back. There is no real evolution unless release from old conditioning is gained effectively in this manner. Every other approach involves denial of one kind or another.

When you have denial, reversals come sooner or later because the denial is part of you whether you like it or not. You need to understand that denial takes many forms; some are very subtle and others are not so subtle. No matter how much or how little you deny, the part of yourself you have denied will not allow you to go on for long without it.

it. I have always had loving intent but I also have had an evolutionary process. Love is evolving, which is the concept of expanding love.

Heart is manifest more in a state of denial on Earth than it is in a form that is open to the light. As long as denial is involved, love cannot be unconditional.

It is impossible not to notice how hard it is to give anger acceptance within love but it has to be done now. Guilt is the reason you fear it feels better to hold anger back than it feels to express it. The more you hold back the more guilt is able to increase its power and presence. The fear that there will be even more violence and murder on Earth if you do not all hold back is misunderstanding, not reality. Fear of losing control needs to be faced. If you hold back expression, you will still lose control of what you have tried to suppress. Then you have loss of control in a state of denial, and this you do have reason to fear because this is the way most violence and murder is produced.

I would like to mention now that all people do not have the same ability to hold back their emotions. Those with the least Will presence have been the most heavily rewarded as the reasonable people on Earth while Will Polarity people are more often institutionalized for their failures in this area because of their stronger emotions. The most heavily penalized people on Earth are usually denied fragments of the most heavily rewarded people on Earth, so, you can see that the gap that needs healing is a large one.

The denial of the Mother allowed all Will essence to get denied in the same ways. Will denial on Earth is so substantial that most people feel afraid to allow the direct expression of any emotion at all, and usually apologize when they do express emotion. Guilt's punishment for emotional expression runs from being labeled infantile all the way to being killed for expressing emotion.

It is not any better to be mentally polarized than it is to be emotionally polarized. In other words, reason is not meant to be regarded as superior to emotion. The depth of the denial of the Will is reflected in how far society is from living these understandings. Neither Spirit nor Will do as well alone as They do when They are balanced with One another. Spirit has been able to look like It fares better because of the judgments against the Will. Once the Will is judged against, It cannot get the light It needs to feel good.

Many Will people deny how they really feel in favor of trying


to act like they feel good because they believe Spirit will then have acceptance for them. The Heart Spirits have also tried to act as though they were feeling better than they actually were.

Guilt told the Will that It was being denied because It was not being loving enough to get acceptance from Me. The Will then believed even more deeply that It was unworthy and unloving whenever It felt emotions that had been labeled "negative". Heart participated in this belief system and behaved accordingly by reflecting these beliefs back to the Will as though they were correct understandings. I also participated in this belief system. I projected this negativity of the Will as an image of evil. Thus, the Will, seeing the lack of acceptance for Its so-called negative emotions, became even more afraid to express them. The thought of expression was becoming more and more associated with images of punishment and rejection for the expression of these emotions. The Will fears receiving unlovingness and so had held back as much as it can.

Heart has suffered from this because it has been unable to receive the Will energy It needs to balance with Me. Because of this imbalance, Heart has felt pressured by more Spirit energy than It has been able to receive or utilize. This has made Heart feel inadequate and Heart failure, in terms of actual physical problems, has been the frequent result. Imbalance in the chakras causes Heart problems.

The Heart Spirits received Me when I originally gave them these understandings but I was not at that time recognizing my own role in creating their problems. Because of My causal role, The Heart Spirits were unable to implement My advice until I implemented it Myself. I have done this now, but Lost Will doesn't know it yet. Lost Will must move but it is not going to be easy to convince its massive conditioning that expression will now bring it the acceptance it needs.

There is much Lost Will to move and I understand that you are not sure how to go about it. It seems overwhelming. It has seemed overwhelming even to Me at times. I have felt hopelessness many times and I have indulged in feelings of wishing it had never happened to begin with. No matter how overwhelmed I have felt, I know We can heal it and that We have no choice but to heal it. Love cannot knowingly leave Lost Will where it is.

Since reality emanates from consciousness, you must deal within youself first. Reality is going to change as the healing progresses within. I am healing My Lost Will now and you are not



The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations

Most people have rationalized the reversals, caused by Lost Will's attempts to gain recognition, as the inevitable swings of the pendulum. Some people have anger that they cannot just get rid of Lost Will and many of these people have tried to do just that by redoubling their efforts to deny it whenever Lost Will has tried to make its presence known. Others are afraid of Lost Will and do not want to allow themselves to feel what it is holding for fear they will have to experience it. These people, too, have tried to fight off any sign of emotion that is not aligned with the self as they want to see it.

I would like to say somethng here about anger and fear. Anger and fear are not really separate, and as long as they are expressed as though they are separate, they have not been expressed effectively enough to find the connecting link between them. Healing the imbalance here involves finding the connecting link between them.

For example, if a person is expressing anger over and over and healing is not taking place, the failure to evolve indicates that the understandings needed are not being gained. In this case, the person most likely needs to notice what emotions are not being expressed. Repeated expression of some emotions can indicate emotional habit patterns that may give the appearance of emotional release, but are actually participating in furthering the denials of other emotions. In the case of repeated anger, the denied emotions are likely to be fears. Grief can be present here also and some people use grief to deny both anger and fear that lie guilt-ridden beneath the grief. Grief comes from a feeling of powerlessness which arises from the splits an individual is experiencing such as the split between anger and fear. These splits can be within the individual or between individuals.

In the beginning, We did not have the understandings on Lost Will; then, We only knew that experience was going to be necessary, since without it, it did not appear that the spirits could understand the teachings We had to offer. We looked at the spirits' need for experience as an opportunity for them and  a l s o   f o r   Us. We needed to have space from them just as much as they seemed to need room to experience without their parents standing over them. The spirits were going to have to experience things that We had already experienced in order to understand what We had been trying to teach them, and We were going to have to go on with the experience we needed to have.

Even though we knew this was true, we also had plenty of


things We enjoyed sharing with the Manifested Spirits. When We told the spirits how hard it had been for Us to figure out how to manifest them, they had fun telling Us what they had experienced from within Us; knowing they had awareness of themselves and not knowing how to come forth. Lost Will received the unexpressed fear We all had had that the spirits could not find a way to manifest, and that We could not find the way to manifest the.

In getting to know the spirits, We found that they all had understandings based on what interested them, and areas that did ot interest them were often a blank. These early emergences had focused on certain aspects of Us and gained their awareness in these areas. They all had a feeling of universality because they all had white light like I did, but they all had feelings that did not allow them to open to everything that I had to offer. The spirits were all given the opportunity to embrace more awareness than they had, but they all turned the opportunity down. All the spirits had emerged with aspects of Me, but did not, at that time, demonstrate interest in utilizing their full potential to receive more. The time has come for understandings not gained then to be gained now because the necessary experience has been had.

The reason that the experience gained has not brought the healing needed now is that the experience has not been understood. The reason the experience has not been understood is that the spirits who set out to have these experiences had the intent to prove to Me that their misunderstandings were right and that what I had to offer to them was wrong. These spirits originally denied that they had misunderstandings. Rebellion against Me is the one karmic tie that all beings on Earth have in common. It was not wrong to rebel against Me, and it is not wrong to continue rebelling against Me if you want to continue going it alone. If you do want My help now, these teachings are being made available to bring you the help you need.

Denial, as you know, created Lost Will, and all of these original spirits had denials. Much of the Lost Will of these spirits is on Earth holding the original misunderstandings of these spirits. This Lost Will has lived repetitions of these misunderstandings until it has deep conditioning that it cannot change anything. This is not true, but the Lost Will has to realize that it is not true by moving all the old conditioning that says it is going to have to accept the misunderstandings it was given and go on with them. Lost Will needs to know that it is right for it to now

going to be far behind Me. I did not create lost Will intentionally. I had to learn what focusing away from something could do to it. I had to learn about the role judgments have in creating reality. I had to learn that the fluidity of reality is stopped by judgment patterns.

I have put the blame for everything I didn't know on others for long enough. These are old images that were designed to protect the perfection of God. I am not insecure in those ways anymore. Those images of perfection were unreal. Real perfection has space for the evolution of increasing love and light.

Understanding is light and the light of understanding now knows that even though everything that happened was necessary for all of Us so that We could learn what We needed to learn, the Will still has to heal the terrible pain of this experience. This pain has to heal for the Will to take Its right place as an equal to Spirit. The Will especially has to move the rage of having had the answers from the beginning but also the fear and guilt that did not allow the answers to be given to Me.

The Mother of Everything is an equal part of Me and if guilt had not held back Our process, She could have given Me the understandings long ago. Because She was denied Her right place, it is only now that I have been able to receive the information from Her that is making these understandings possible.

Guilt and lack of self-acceptance that went all the way to self-hatred interfered with our process here and resulted in what We have to heal now. The gap between how Creation is now and what My vision seeks for it is huge; as huge as the gap between Spirit and Will became.

I have come to peace with Myself now and know that I am not wrongly attached to My place, but I do have lost essence on Earth that needs to return to Me now. I am taking it in as fast as it has readiness to receive Me, but I cannot make essence align with Me just because I see that it has to. This essence has to feel ready and this essence has to understand Me more than it did in the past. This essence has to align with Me willingly.

You are going to have to go through your process to come to peace with yourself and to align with Me here. Following My example, you have denied a lot to try to align yourselves with Me as I was. Now you have a lot to move to align with Me as I am now. You are going to have periods of blame for Me and periods of doubt and fear. You are going to need to rage at Me and finally come to peace with My role and yours.


As mad as you may be at Me for allowing this to happen, you did not figure out what was happening or how to heal it either. Many of you have rage that feels you should be God and that you could do a better job than Me. Moving this rage will help you understand why you have the role of following Me and why you have the blame hindsight often has for what it calls lack of foresight. Some of you may feel you had these understandings in advance of these teachings, but you did not have them in advance of Me. I would also like to say that I have given these teachings to the channel most likely to convey them as I had in mind so you do not need to harbor feelings that these books should have been given to you instead. In other words, move any feelings of resentment that you have so that you can move forward into the expansion that will allow you to feel good about yourself.


The Mother could feel Heart rejecting Her and She took it to mean that He did not love Her. She did not understand that Heart needed My help to process what He received from Her. Heart didn't know this either, He just felt like He couldn't allow the Mother to give Him certain emotions anymore.

The Mother was more and more left having to hold these emotions along with the judgment that they were unacceptable to Heart and to Me. The longer She held them, the more they appeared to be Her constant state and that this was what She was rather than what She was being forced to hold. The more this pain went on in Her, the more twisted She became until it was not easy to look at Her anymore. What had once been abundant beauty and charming pleasure was becoming more and more something I sought to avoid.

I acted like I did not want the Mother and yet I could not let the Mother go either. I was afraid She would turn against Me for I could feel Her blaming Me for what was wrong with Her. I did not want to receive this blame from Her because I was busy trying to avoid My fears in this area by blaming Her. The Father of Manifestation had a role in this that needs mention now.

Form reflects essence, and yet, We were blaming the Father of Manifestation as though this wasn't true. As the Mother's form

The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations

come for
ward with what it has to offer. Its true input is going to be very old information but information that is needed now.

All the spirits that emerged in the beginnng of Creation fragmented because they did not have enough Will presence to hold themselves together. Not only that, [sic] these spirits had a lack of alignment within all the essence they emerged with, because some parts of them had understandings and agreements that other parts of them did not have. Not only that, there are many parts to the Lost Will. There is Lost Will which has fragmented into many beings manifesting the many aspects of what it has taken in and there is also Lost Will which is Spirit polarized. This is spirit essence that has operated around the judgment patterns whose core belief is that the Will is not meant to be free but is meant to serve the Spirit, hold it present, and give it the response it wants to have. The only Will essence this Lost Spirit has is essence that accepted those beliefs and holds present the Spirit essence that enforces those beliefs. These beings have little or no other Will essence present with them and so appear to be Spirit polarized. These people actually are pieces of spirits that embraced misunderstandings that led them to their present situations on Earth. These people are meant to vibrate as light and are not really meant to be the physical part of their manifestation. Body also has a large physical presence on earth that appears to be very spirit polarized due to misunderstandings about its role.

I had to have many experiences, as did these spirits, to be able to understand why these spirits preferred to operate within the misunderstandings they held rather than release them to receive the true understandings they needed, even when the misunderstandings gave them a problem living. These misunderstandings have been going on for so long that they are not going to be easy to reverse now, but it must be done.

If you are having feelings that you had manifested presence as early as the spirits I have mentioned so far, you need to consider that you may be a piece of lost essence that belongs with these spirits.

You are going to have to feel within yourself to know if you had presence then or not. You may find out by having an emotional or physical reaction to this material. You may respond by feeling pain you did not know you had or even by getting sick. Feelings of nausea, aching or symptoms as though you have a sudden flu would not be wrong response here. You have to understand that Lost Will has been suffering for so long that it knows


no other way to express itself once its pretense of being alright has been broken through. If you feel that you have a pretense of not needing or wanting help, you need to allow this to be broken down, if you really do want help, so that you can receive the help you need.

All the spirits that emerged have subsequently fragmented because they were unable to hold themselves together without the Will presence which they rejected, denied or lost. I have the parental parts of these Spirits with Me now, and they are still a great presence even without their missing parts. These spirits, however, must heal what has happened to them, just as I must heal what has happened to Me. They have healed in spirit, as I have, but they still have Lost Will on Earth, as I have, that must heal now. If you have feelings that you might be a part of these great spirits, you need to open to the possibility that you may have true understanding here. These spirits want to contact their own Lost Will on Earth and heal it now.

Many times these spirits have tried to contact their missing parts. Hearing voices or seeing visions has, for the most part, drawn punishment to the Lost Will having these experiences. Guilt held in the Lost Will has drawn this punishment, and this guilt needs to move out now so that Lost Will can receive the understandings needed. In the past, guilt has not allowed Lost Will to realize why it was receiving such visions and voices, and Lost Will's mistrust for its own Spirit has created the reflection of being misguided. Many times over, Lost Will has been punished whenever it tried to move and regain psychic receptivity.

Having been denied from the beginning, Lost Will has not felt sure of its right place, and feared that it was wrong for even daring to think itself worthy of receiving such grand visitations. Lost Will then drew to itself the punishment it feared it deserved, even if the conscious part of the person was very angry about receiving such punishment. This fear of unworthiness and guilt needs to be cleared so that the spirit part of yourself can reach you with the teachings you need to bring about your own healing. If you cannot open to the possibilities of what your true identity and origin may be, you cannot allow your true feelings to move, or understand and accept them when they do.

Having been lost for so long, you are holding judgments that you deeply believe to be reality, including the ones that say your higher self cannot be fully integrated with your lower self, and even the judgment that calls one aspect high and another low

warped more and more, I blamed him for it and told Him He must be causing it in some way. Many of the spirits had form problems for which the Father of Manifestation was also being blamed.

Many spirits wanted to say that He had given them forms that were not good enough. The Father of Manifestation was susceptible to the blame because He did feel that He was responsible in some way that He could not explain. His guilt here caused Him to feel that He had to continually heal the spirits' form problems. Because the cause of the form problems was not understood to be denial, the problems continually recurred in spite of all the healing efforts.

When the Father of Manifestation was feeling frightened over this, He blamed Himself and felt increasingly inadequate. When He grew tired of feeling this way, He often became enraged and His rage blamed everyone else.

The Father of Manifestation had blame for Me but it got very seriously denied because the more I polarized away from the Mother the more He could not help but polarize along with Me since He is Me although We did not know it yet. This made it appear to the Mother that We had more alignment with each other and in opposition to Her than We really had, but I was not consciously very aligned with My Body. I did not even recognize It as Me. I found it annoying when it looked like Body opposed Me but I was also annoyed if He copied Me.

The alignment of Spirit, Will, Heart and Body will bring healing to form and health. Guilt is the reason that most people suffer from these problems anyway because guilt in the place of My light does not nourish life but brings the punishment of death instead. Lack of alignment, guilt, and denial twisted Form and Form will untwist Itself in response to the regaining of alignment.

Along the way, Form may need some help. There may be periods of time when you feel that you need medical help or the help of wholistic healers. You may need help adjusting your dietary patterns to your changing emotional patterns. Your muscles may need massage, your bones may need to move. Do not force things faster than you have readiness to heal them is My caution to those who want to rush ahead to the day when they are totally healed. To those who view this process as agonizingly slow, I want to say that the perseverance to go through everything that has to be gone through will bring healing to everything in the end.

Just because you are moving with this healing does not mean


that you are always going to be balanced within it. When you feel you need help, get it, and learn from it rather than judging yourself a failure because you had to have help. Healing yourself means doing all you can in the way of moving emotions, letting go of old belief systems and listening to your changing needs. Help from others is not wrong when this is what you feel you need. Taking responsibility for the help you seek and being the director of your own healing is the key issue here that determines whether you are healing yourself or not.

Pressuring yourself not to be sick is valuing the appearance of health over true health and is not the right approach to this healing. Trying to make others responsible for how you feel is not right approach either, but you have to accept it as part of the process along the way and move the feelings you have here because you do have a lot of blame, based on od pictures of how things were in the past. As long as these feelings remain, the old pictures that go with them will be acted out.

The Verdeloka and the other Rainbow Spirits have blame they have held back from the beginning for the Mother and the Father of Manifestation for not being more aligned with Me at their emergence. Even more denied is blame toward Me for not being aligned. The Rainbow Spirits have always felt that a better alignment at their emerence would have given them a better start in life.

Many behavior patterns have resulted from this, including the many Jewish parents who are so intent on making sure their children get a good start in life that they are often overbearing with their children and pushy about helping them get started in the world. Fear and anger are hidden in these behavior patterns.

The Verdeloka, along with everyone else, held back the feelings they had toward the Mother and the Father of Manifestation. When this happened, the true feelings emerged in other ways and I have had to learn to read them. The understandings I have given the Heart Spirits now are the same understandings I gave them so long ago except for the parts involving My own responsibility because I did not have those understandings then.

Having taken responsibility for Myself, other spirits can now take responsibility for themselves and healing will succeed this time.Just as I have found that it is your position to follow Me, I have also found that you cannot precede Me, even when I try to help you do it. This is very angering to spirits who like to think that they have a position equal with Me.


The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations

relative to its worth. Many people hold the judgment that they cannot ever receive contact from their own higher self. In reality, this contact is just blocked out by fear and guilt that is not moving. You can move what you need to move to hear what you need to hear, and the more you move in response to what you hear, the more you will be able to hear.

If you have the judgment that Earthlings are not as divine or high in origin as Angels, you need to let this judgment go now also. There are even Ancient Ones on Earth in fragmented form. You will understand more about how and why this fragmenting took place as you go on with this material. For now, it is enough to know that you may meet others who feel they are a part of the same spirit as you. You need to understand that this is not necessarily wrong.

Guilt has not allowed most people to admit that they have a sense of identity that they don't feel they can reveal, and I am not suggesting that you need to reveal it publicly now. Those that have revealed these feelings have, so far, most often received reflections that have made it look very convincing that it is best not to mention these things, and probably best not to even entertain the thoughts. Guilt and judgments create the reflection that has been met on Earth so far. You must open the space within yourself to know if these things could be true or not, and you must work with it there. In other words, I am not suggesting that you put on wings and run to the neighbors' as a testimony to your new found acceptance of yourself. You are not all angels anyway, but even if you were, it would not bring the results you might hope for. The Lost Will is not the part of you that has conscious vibration right now. The Lost Will is something that you have been holding, and it does not want to move unless true healing can be brought to it this time.

I have given as much as I am going to give on this right now. You are going to have to go through a lot to know for sure if you have your origins among the Godhead spirits or not. You may have to go back farther than you have ever remembered in your life to know if you had consciousness that early or not. The reason for this is that many of the early realities of the Manifested spirits were quite similar. The more you move within yourself and get to know what you are holding, the more information you will have to go on. Lost Will holds everything that you need to know to go forward with your own healing now, but you can not get true information from your Lost Will unless you learn


how to help Lost Will get the light it needs. Open yourself to receive contact from the part of your spirit that can help you and you will not fail to get the help you need.

Healing Lost Will is not a matter of having these understandings just penetrate the part of you that is still vibrating. If that were the case, you would have been healed long ago. Not only do you need all the understandings I am giving now, you need to learn how to bring your Lost Will back into conscious awareness so that it can receive he understandings it needs also.

The understanding is this: You cannot move old patterns without moving that which is holding them in place. These holding patterns are not conscious anymore; they have been called the great subconscious. It is now time to open to this and bring it forward to participate with your conscious awareness.

I have many more stories to give now of how it happened that these parts of the Will lost conscoiusness. If you have not found yourself yet, hold on; great emergences are yet to come.

There has long been a dispute as to whether older is better or not, wiser and more powerful or not, and the stories I am going to give will also help you to understand this issue. I cannot bring forward all the understandings you may feel you want in the beginning here because the understandings are too many, too vast, too multi-leveled and too overwhelming. Understandings must be given as you are prepared to receive them, and therefore may not be given until much farther on. This is also necessary in order for you to get triggered in the ways that you need to get triggered, and for the story to have the teaching effect that it needs to have; therefore, some things may appear at first to be understandings. Further information may then make them appear to be misunderstandings, and then even later, they may fall into place in another way as fuller understandings. All of this process is necessary to be able to gain the profound levels of understanding you need if you really do have full healing in mind for yourself at this time.

I am going to tell this story from My point of view, including the aspects of all Four of My Parts. I have to tell the story of the Mother because She is My Own Will, and I feel Her thoroughly now. You must allow yourselves to feel, and thus to know, what of this story you have lived. All spirits have lived a part of this, but none have lived all of it. The Mother's story is the story of the Will, and all Wills find their experience within Her Will. The Mother Will [sic] has lived all of this, but even She could not hold

You are all going to have to move the emotions you have around the issue of who I am, what I am, and what your relationship is to Me.
Some of you have put yourselves above Me, some equal with Me and some so far below Me that it is not realistic, but none of you have put yourselves in your right place yet. Guilt and lack of self-acceptance have caused most people to hide their true feelings about their relationship to Me. There are feelings around the images of Me as a higher being and feelings around the image of Me as nothing more than the consciousness manifest on Earth that need to move now. You have both wanted Me to lift you out of your predicaments and feared that there is nothing to lift you but the consciousness you find among yourselves.

[see , what I just re-read (in Hebrew), on Dec. 14, 2011, in the context of my research (1969-71), called "Israel's Coping with its destiny, about the danger of 'believing' in "God"]

For a long time the feelings toward Me were being held so undercurrent that I was not receiving them. The Mother knew these feelings were there but She seldom approached Me with them because She felt too guilty and because She had been unable to get Me to accept anything I could not feel for Myself. When She did try to bring these feelings forward, She received so much denial She feared that She wasn't right.

In addtion to the undercurrents toward Me, the Mother could feel Heart rejecting Her and blaming Her for Our troubles, and She could feel the Verdeloka doing the same. She could feel the blame for the Father of Manifestation and feared it was Her fault for calling Him forth. She could feel the rest of the Rainbow Spirits rejecting everyone except a few of the Angels and She could feel the Godhead rejecting the Father of Manifestation and Herself.

She hated to feel like an outcast in Her own creation but She felt like there was no place that had acceptance for Her. She longed for it to be different and felt that there was so much lack of acceptance among the spirits that it had to be healed.

Everywhere She went, she felt the spirits rejecting one another based, it seemed to Her, on what they didn't like about the Godhead. Most of the rejections were going on undercurrently and so the Mother got denied when She tried to point them out.

The Mother began to feel She was going crazy from the roar of unspoken things everyone else was pretending not to notice. Her attempts to get others to bring these unspoken things forward for resolution were met with so much rejection that the Mother felt the spirits did not even want to see Her coming because then they would have to think about what She had to reflect to them.


The Mother feared more and more that Her perceptions were not right and that perhaps it was ony Her own reality that had the roar of unspoken unlovingness in it. Considering all the denials She had taken in, it was no wonder Her reality was roaring with them.

Lucifer sensed the Mother here, as He so often did in Her times of greatest uncertainty, and he told Her what She was most afraid to hear. Lucifer told the Mother that others were not making Her crazy because She had already made Herself crazy and that She was hearing the voices of Her own insanity inside of Herself. He told Her that other people did not see or hear or feel these things and that they were much more calm and peaceful than She was. He also told Her that the spirits behaved much more harmoniously when she was not around because She had a very disturbing effect on them.

The Mother really wanted to let Me know what She was experiencing and how rejected She was feeling, but the rejection She was feeling from Me did not encourage Her to think She should give Me even more of the kinds of communications She felt were already causing Me to distance Myself from Her.

It was true that I was avoiding Her while pretending not to, and even when she was in My company, I still avoided certain areas with Her. The innuendoes She got from Me made Her feel that I did not find these areas of Her acceptable to Me and that I was not open to receive them. She increasingly felt that it was Her own inadequacies and shortcomings that were giving Her the problems She was experiencing.

The Mother had no one to turn to because the Father of Manifestation was also avoiding Her in these areas.

The Mother had guilt telling Her all the times that She was not right to feel as She did and that other spirits were more loving than She was because they did not feel the negative things that She felt.

The Mother held back Her feelings even more then, and tried to look and act happier and more positive than She really felt because She thought this was the good and right thing to do and that it was more loving. The Mother tried to be more loving by trying to behave as much as She could in the ways She thought others wanted Her to behave.

The Mother needed and wanted My love and She also wanted to have the love of the rest of the spirits, and so, She sought to win Our love by trying to be what She thought We all wanted

The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations


Listen to my own singing

He is the One, He is the One.
He threw Her out,
He threw Her out like She was scum.

Everything He did not like,
He thought She had become.

And all that He denied,
And all that He despised
Is what She held.

Until He gave Her one great smack
Sent Her reeling back To Hell.

  She held the pain,
She held the pain.
She felt the shame, She took the blame
For all He feared...

That His great image
was not all that it appeared.
And under that facade of goodness...
Was a cold and hateful strike
That sent her falling back in horror,
struggling for Her life.

All the pain,      All the pain.   

See, how "Spirit" recounts the beginnings of Deity and Manifestation in a similar manner in - for instance - in "How we've gotten here"

The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations
Herself together through everything that has happened. She Herself has shattered a number of times from the pain of Her experience. She is just now healing Her fragmentation by bringing Her lost essence back within Herself where it can receive light. Even if you have feelings that you may be a fragment of the Mother, you will not have lived all of Her experience unless you are the parental part of Her Spirit which you are not.

Feeling your own Lost Will's vibration being restored to it is the only way you are going to know who you really are and what has really happened to you. I have found no other way These parts of you are still trapped in whatever places they met their deaths and have received no further information since that time.

Spirit has long since moved on past the misunderstandings held in the Lost Will, and for a long time, Spirit thought that it only needed to shine the light of it's evolving realizations on the Will and the Will would receive them and evolve along with the Spirit. Experience has not shown this to be the case, and Spirit has long wondered why the Will could not respond to this approach. The Will has received a lot of blame and judgment for not being able to respond to this approach. This approach has, in fact, only widened the gap between the Spirit and the Will. The reality of this gap can be seen on Earth as some people having highly developed consciousness while others on Earth seem to be barely conscious at all. This is not a matter of how great and wise a particular spirit is in comparison to the rest; it is a problem of fragmentation and Lost Will.

Essence that is not vibrating anymore cannot open to receive new understandings or new light. How, then, are these people even alive? Lost Will holding the most serious denials has only a little light left. These people are, therefore, barely alive and are dragging a heavy load of dead essence around in their bodies. These people are susceptible to everything that goes wrong on Earth, and what still lives in them is wrapped up in the struggle to survive in the face of the constant death and threat of death that the load of Lost Will they carry is creating in their lives. For them, the Creation does not appear to be either life giving or abundant. What form their struggle takes is dependent upon the judgment patterns they are holding. This Lost Will has so little life left that it is very important that it be healed now. From the number of people on Earth who have a daily struggle to live or who are living in poverty, you can see that there is a lot of this Lost Will. Not all Lost Will, however, is in such bad shape as this.


There are many gradations to the Lost Will. Even the evolving spirit essence on Earth experiences reversals that signal the presence of Lost Will within it. You also need to know that Lost Will, which you have thrown out and which is living separately from you, still has an effect on your life whether you understand why some things are happening to you or not.

You need to understand also that seriously fragmented Lost Will is not left with enough essence to heal itself in the form it is in. This is part of the reason I have said not to pressure anyone around you to adopt your path. This essence has to come back in to the spirits to whom it belongs. If you have the feeling that you can do healing on this path, you are not too fragmented to do it.


I have a desire to go on now to the story of the next two orders of spirits to emerge.

Quite some time went by in which the already emerged spirits were getting to know one another. They were having fun discovering how they could merge together and re-emerge, getting to know one another by becoming one. They were reaching an ecstasy that gave them explosions of light from time to time also. They felt that the Mother was wrong, and that they did not need more Will presence to have orgasm. The Mother also had fear that She had not been right. She hesitated to think that She had intuited it wrong, but now it looked like She had. There was nothing She could do but wait and see how it went. Experience would show whether She was right or not. The spirits had the feeling they had the power to increase their own light.I felt like a God that was standing over them trying to remind them of My contribution.

The spirits needed more exprience before I could tell them anything more. The Mother and I felt it was time to continue our journey outward to the stars. The Father of Manifestation had a desire to go with Us, but Heart was not as interested as He had been before. He felt like His balance would help the already emerged spirits to maintain while We were gone.The Mother had a desire for Him to go along with Us, but She could not per-

Her to be. In so doing, the Mother created many images of the Holy Mother that even now people do not know are not the real thing. These imgages are false Will presence that became role models for the Will. These false Will image say by example that the Will is supposed to strive to be totally and happily subservient to Me. My desire is supposed to be the Will's command and the Will's desire is supposed to be to obey My every wish and command. Discordant emotions were viewed as a lack of faith in Me.

In other words, the Will was supposed to be a testimony to My boundless perfection and flawless wisdom through its joyful surrender, and this was supposed to glorify Me.

Long ago I thought this was what I wanted, but when I think of it now, it makes Me sick
. It would have made Me sick back then too, but then I was not allowing Myself to know that this was what I was asking the Will to do. I was insecure here and so I didn't allow Myself to face the issues involved. I was playing a game of pretending I was allowing the Will to be free but all the while wanting Her to give Me the desired reflection of My perfection. My insecurities did not at first allow Me to realize I was projecting the image that I was perfect already and that everyone else needed evolution. The Mother knew from the beginning that this was not right and I did not let Her give Me the reflection for a long time.

I wanted the Mother to give Me the reflection I was seeking without having to go through any process of winning Her trust or anything else. I didn't want to have any process at all because I thought She should have automatic, immediate and unfaltering faith in Me because I was Her man. Her questions seemed like a faithless undermining of the masculine image I wanted to have of Myself.

I had rage that wanted to force Her compliance building around this issue because I was pretending to go along with Her more than I wanted to. Because I had to see Myself as the narrow kind of perfect [sic] that did not need process and did not make mistakes, I either had to pretend nothing was wrong or blame everything negative on someone else. Increasingly I found Myself doing these things.

I pretended that nothing was wrong between the Mother and Me and that I was just allowing Her the freedom to "do Her thing" when We were not together. Actually I disliked and even hated Her in the places where We were not aligned. I was blaming Her there, saying everything that was wrong was Her fault because


She was not aligned with Me, and yet claiming, on the surface, that I had no blame for anyone because everything was just fine as it was.

When I was home, I found Myself being entertained more and more by the Angels and even finding lovers among them.

The Mother wasn't coming home with Me anymore because I wasn't bringing Her with Me and I wasn't allowing Myself to know that She had lost the vibratory power to come on Her own. The Mother tried to use Heart as a middle man. She wanted Heart to intercede with Me on Her behalf and Heart did not deliver the messages. He felt that I would not receive them and He judged that the Mother was wrong to want Him to intercede for Her.

When Heart did try to approach the subject by mentioning the imbalances He felt between the Mother and Me, I gave Heart only token response. When Heart felt My lack of response here, He did not press Me further because He felt that if I was not ready to respond to Him on the issue of the Mother, I was not ready to respond to the Mother. Heart made assumptions here and when He saw what it cost Creation, His guilt caused Him to punish Himself.

Heart did not at first think it was His right place to deliver messages to Me from the Will. He felt the Mother and I needed to contact one another directly and not use Him as a go-between. Heart now knows that both approaches are fine, but We all had to learn that He was more involved in Our relationship than We at first thought since We viewed Him as a child of Our relationship.

There are many Lost Will images of children involved in the sexual relationships, intrigues, and push-pulls between adults that make it look as though their involvement in their parents' relationship is as terrible for them as we originally judged it was going to be for Heart.

Light in these areas will reveal new realities because it is not possible to see other ways these relationships could take place until the judgments are released enough to let in new pictures. Lost Will receives everything through the filter of what it is already holding and so cannot receive anything new until it moves the old programming and the conditioning that says the old programming is right. Guilt is the reason this has not happened already.

Although I did not respond to Heart on the issue of the Mother the way He would have liked Me to, Heart did succeed in making Me feel guilty about the Mother and guilt then caused Me to go and seek Her out more often than I might have otherwise.

The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations

"Abraham" , e-mail quote on December 17, 2011

You're never satisfied.
That's what life is,
it's just this ongoing, neverending vacation adventure, you see.
You can't get it wrong and you never get it done.....)

suade Him. He was not wrong as it turns out, but We did not know it at the time.

We proceeded outward, feeling rejected by Heart. Heart did not look out to see how we felt. He was feeling impatience with the Mother for seeming to pressure him. He was sure He was right and not wrong to want to stay with the Angels and the Ancient Ones. He gave love in My absence that had to be given, and We had an urgency to go forth that could not be held back anymore.

We had great speed of flight because the relative stillness We had experienced in holding Ourselves back to be with the Angels gave a great pressure to Our light that now had to move to feel good. We were trailing blue and red fire as We got to the edge of the white light we already knew. We got quite a jolt then and did not know what had happened to Us. we felt that we had changed speed. Planets and stars flew by Us now that had manifested earlier but had not come to life yet. We had a desire to stop and look at all of them.

As We turned to go back to them, We had a great surprise and a great joy too. We had not realized from within the Godhead how it might appear to look at it from without. To Us, it was a gorgeous sight to behold. It had many tiers of white light shimmering in subtle variations. It had the feeling of a great castle in the sky with many turrets and towers, and many flags and streamers of light. It had everything that fantasies have ever given to the vision of castles and more. It changed form as we watched it and, like clouds shifting in the sky, became cathedral like. It took on many appearances as We watched, including an appearance somewhat like a great wedding cake. It was as though We had an ability to affect its form just by watching it.

The Mother had a desire to make love, now, that She had held back for quite some time. The Mother stretched out as though She had lain down in comfortble relaxation in view of this giant presence of Our Godhead. The Father of Manifestation and I gave Her love from both ends at once. The had erotic fantasies about little beings that had a desire to come forth from within Her now. They played pipes She had never seen before and made sounds She had not heard before. Their rhythms were also new and had a great resounding depth to them. She had guilt that it was not right to have Her attention on little beings running around inside of Her while we were making love to Her, but these beings were so captivating that She could not help Herself.

p. 75

The Mother gave in to an orgasm in Her head and another in Her groins and spirits came pouring forth. I told Her to have no guilt because the father of Manifestation and I had put the seeds of Her fantasies within Her. She had great excitement then that We had acceptance instead of rejection for Her feelings of playful response.

The Mother had desire to open and receive these spirits at once. She was so delighted with them that She gave each one a present. Each of them received a power of the Will from the Mother. Some were given the power to open space, some to hold space open. Some were given the power to move inner forces and some to move outer forces. Some were even given the power to make light and some the power to give light out. Some were given the power to envision within the light and some to receive visions that were already there. Some could see the future and some could remember the past.some could make things appear and some could make things disappear. Some were given the power to define form in amorphous things and others were given the power to change form from one thing to another. Some had the power to bring together and heal and some the power to disband and destroy. Some asked for and were given the powr to move the great cosmic forces.

These two orders of spirits have a large presence of Lost Will on Earth and much of it is holding denied Heart essence. Heart has healing to do with these spirits now because He was not able to give them full Heart presence at their emergence. These spirits need to gain understandings now to help them resolve the many problems drawn to them by their guilt over having denied Heart presence.

The understanding needed is that these spirits had an original cause that gave Heart the feeling that he would not be accepted if He tried to go with us and give more of his presence to these manifestations. Heart was not wrong here because these spirits had been watching Us, and they felt that the Mother was not being allowed Her full expression and that neither was the Father, particularly the Father of Manifestation. These spirits saw Heart as always bringing a compromise that they did not want to make. These spirits had a feeling that manifesting as two orders of spirits with the Heart of the Father in one order and the Heart of the Mother in the other order would enable them to fulfill their purpose without having to compromise in ways they did not want to.

The Mother was not looking very attractive to Me anymore, and She was also looking strangely diminished. The Mother already sensed My feelings about Her enough that She felt unworthy and did not believe I loved Her anymore. She was in agony over losing My love but was afraid to show Me this enough to let Me realize that it was a large part of what was twisting Her and making Her look so awful. If the Mother had had my love and acceptance, She could have handled the rest of the spirits' rejections, which actually, then, would not have been there for Her because the spirits were reflecting My denials.

As it was, the Mother had distrust for Me when I appeared before Her and believed that all the spirits were undercurrently aligned with Me against Her. She was ashamed to face Me because She knew I was not finding Her to be very attractive anymore and Her confusion about love and appearance has many times been referred to as vanity. Lost Will has reflected this confusion about form and essence when people have stressed essence by saying it doesn't matter what a person looks like, it's what's inside that counts, and when form has been stressed by people who are overly concerned with appearances.

The whole reason this is even an issue is guilt. The Mother had intuition telling Her that Her appearance was My fault, but She felt guilty about blaming Me. Her blame got enraged when it got denied and for a long time it did not come forward. When this Lost Will did come forward, it had a Lost Will picture of Me as those who disfigure the Earth and mutilate women. Some of this disfigurement is very subtle, but it is there nonetheless. Subtlety does not always mean that what's being reflected is less intense than the more blatant forms, either. Subtlety often means that what's held there is so intense that immense guilt is allowing only a tiny amount of what's being held to be reflected.

The Mother also had intuition telling Her that Her appearance was a reflection of Her inner self. The Mother had a feeling that form was a reflection of the essence involved, but She lacked the understanding that form reflects how the essence feels about itself. The Mother only knew that She did not like looking at Herself anymore. The Mother felt that love was a beautiful thing and Her loss of beauty made He fear that She was losing love somehow, either through the loss of My love or Her own lack of loving response.

The guilt that told Her Her problems were Her own fault caused Her to blame Herself and increase Her feelings of unworthiness.


Guilt caused Her to believe that She had lost Her beauty and Her position because She had not been loving enough to remain there. Because I was projecting a picture of Myself as blameless, the Mother believed She was the one that was wrong. Her rage that wanted to blame Me as causal became even more seriously denied.


Besides fearing I was inadequate for the role of God, I also had the other extreme of the imbalance. I feared I was too intense and fast moving for everyone else. When I felt as though the Mother was holding Me back, I feared that She couldn't keep up with Me. When I projected this out, the Mother received it as a feeling that She was inadequate.

Of course, I was pressuring My speed to compensate for My inadequacy fears and denying those fears into the Mother as though they were Her fears instead of My own. The Mother was wanting to slow Me down and point out the imbalances, but I was too frightened and frantic in My avoidance to receive Her reflection here. I gave the Mother enough denial to make Her lose faith in Her perceptions and in let this reflection move out into the Lost Will.

Instead of receiving Her here, I had put the blame on Her so cleverly and subtlely that She did not realize it for a long time. I did such a good job of making Her feel that Our problems were Her fault and not Mine that She believed it for a long time and suffered with guilt's punishments down through all of history.

The Mother has just now started to move the rage She has felt toward Me and She has so much guilt in this area that She has appeared to be as ugly as Her rage was judged to be.

Men have held women down as long as they possibly can now and even the most enlightened of men need to look more deeply into themselves to see what they still hold against the Will that makes them do unconscious things which continue to perpetuate the image of women as inferior to men. I say this because the most enlightened of you have gapped yourselves from the serious problems I am describing now just as I did. It is not possible to be anymore enlightened than the Will is and I had to fight this for a long time before I could surrender to it.

The area is a major problem between men and women that

The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations



There is
nothing more
on our planet
than the ballet
of liquid and light!
- Dewitt
December 19, 2011

These spirits had great charm and appeal, and I named the order with the Heart of the Father, Seraphims, and the order with the Mother's Heart, Cherubims. The Seraphims had Spirit Heart and the Cherubims had Will Heart. The Seraphims were taller than the Cherubims and where the Seraphims were slender, angular and definite in form, the Cherubims were soft and rounded. The Seraphims were more cool and detached and the Cherubims were warmer and more possessive. This was the first time We had seen what appeared to be a clear sexual distinction other than with Ourselves. The Seraphims were red and blue with heads that gave off rays of silver and white. They had gold but it was not prominent. Their gold shone mostly in their Hearts where they received the Mother and reflected Her to Herself. The Cherubims had red and orange and their heads shone with encircling wreathes of golden halo. Their hearts were like shining stars of silver and white where they received the Father, and reflected Him to Himself.

The brightness and intensity of color was greater in these spirits than in the Godhead spirits, who had white glistening with pastels. The Mother had an admiration for these spirits, and did not think they had the willessness of the others. These spirits had the form and definition that was necessary now for the role they had to play.

We wanted to give these spirits a warm welcome, and yet, did not feel that We could have the Godhead all pour forth at once into this outer reality in order to greet them. These spirits had a highly developed sense of themselves already, and they informed Us that they would rather have something ceremonial instead of just a party to mark their emergence. They already had ceremonial dances and patterns they could form that made their sense of strength and power increase or decrease according to what they felt the situation called for. They had an ability to perform tricks that were both real and based on illusion.

These spirits had a great beginning and they have a great future, but the road in the middle has become filled with the pain and suffering that guilt and misunderstanding has created in so many spirits who had great beginnings.

The ceremony these spirits performed at their emergence let Us know that it was now time to manifest many more spirits who had been waiting for the feelings that would make them come forth. We had understanding now that spirits were emerging in


response to what was happening with Us. If We were doing something that moved spirits enough to want to come forth, they did

The Cherubims and the Seraphims manifested many things to Us that We had not fully felt until they emerged. These spirits had an ability to find minuteness of detail within Me that I had not recognized yet. They gave Me much information about essence that lay within Me that was expressing desire to manifest now.

After the ceremonial dances, in which they showed Me patterns I could instantly recognize in Myself, these spirits gave Us another performance that showed Us more possibilities of what Body could do. They had more defined bodies than the earlier spirits, and they could do many things with their bodies that We had not seen before.

We watched their performance with great enjoyment, but feelings also arose in Us. The Mother feared that once again,WE had emerged spirits that had more powers than We did. She experienced some jealousy and feared She had not managed to captivate Us the way these spirits were doing. She found Herself wishing that She had kept Her powers and manifested them Herself instead of giving them to others who were now charming Us with them in the ways in which She had wanted to win Our approval. She felt childish and guilty that She had these feelings, especially since I had told Her long ago that She had these powers, and She had given them out instead of using them Herself.

"It's My own fault for being so fearful and held back, " She told Herself.

The Mother's guilt has not let Her reclaim Her powers for a long time, but after a long time of seeing spirits use powers that they have not understood, She has decided that She must reclaim many of these powers and forgive Herself for having given them out in a hasty, naïve and guilty manner originally. There has been a corresponding loss of power among these spirits on Earth. Deception has increased among these Spirits as these powers decreased, because so many spirits still wanted to have these powers and began to pretend that they did. The Mother had grave reservations about reclaiming powers because She foresaw what would happen if She did, but She has understanding now that giving those powers out then was a necessary experience for all that were involved, but an experience that has reached its end.

The Father of Manifestation saw that the Mother was feeling upstaged [sic] and displaced by the Seraphims and Cherubims. He shared Her feelings. He had thought that form was His to

has only come to the surface in little pieces that are fragments of the whole picture. Women have a lot of rage that needs to move here and men also have a lot more rage than they have expressed.

Women have tried to break out of the old molds by going forth in the world but they have to move the old emotions first or they will not find the happiness they seek to find there. It is not necessarily wrong to have roles according to sex and it is not necessarily wrong to want to reject these roles.
You must have emotional alignment with what you do to find the happiness you seek.

Men have for so long been treating women as though they are less capable than men that women do not even know what they really can do. Many women have tried to beat men at their own game but this has not moved the Lost Will involved. Many men have made strides in allowing women more liberal lifestyles but they have emotional problems with this that have not surfaced yet.

Until men really move into their feelings of inadequacy, they are not going to be able to give more than the appearance of balance with women. Men have made suppressed women because they are afraid of them and this needs to move in men now.

The more men cajole and put down women, the more afraid of them they are. There are many men who cannot even allow themselves to agree with a woman for fear it will make them look like they are one. This presents a serious obstacle in the path of alignment.

Some men have noticed that men who put down women have a problem with their masculine image that they're sure they don't have.These men will align with a woman in private but often unconsciously reverse themselves in the presence of other men. These men have fear and rage regarding women that they have gapped from themselves even more seriously than the men who are openly antogonistic.

The men who are the most seriously gapped from their feelings about women are the ones who are appearing to have the least problems with women.

Most behavior in men is designed to deny their fear of sexual inadequacy and until they really straighten things out with a woman they love, men will not be able to stop pressuring themselves to race the fastest, climb the highest, dive the deepest, travel the furthest, work the hardest, drink the most, fight the hardest, stay out the latest, take the most drugs, kill the most ruthlessly and in general, compete overtly and covertly with one another to


see who can be the most macho and thus the most sexually adequate and the least like a woman.

It does not matter how subtlely these competitions are conducted. The undercurrents are there. Each group has simply made up their own rules of the game. Some prefer the all out "going for it" approach while others feel this makes their moves too obvious and have preference for the sneakier things they have observed about Me.

Yes, I have involvement in all of these things and I am healing My own Lost Will now as I help you to move what you have been holding for so long. I want to emphasize again that you are not going to heal this by saying to yourself that you already have intellectual understanding of what I am saying here. You must move into the gut level feelings that have not moved in you since your beginnings as Manifested Spirits. These problems are as old as you are and all the plans that have been brought forth to solve them have failed because they have not touched the underlying Original Cause, which is held feelings.


Originally, the Mother believed that it was Her own shortcomings that made Her unable to be with Me. Her vulnerability here stemmed from the unresolved initial insecurities in Our relationship and this old charge compounded Her confusion enough that She denied Her feelings of blame toward Me and heaped all the blame upon Herself. She really feared then that She was not acceptable to Me anymore and Her enraged blame moved out into Lost Will and manifested later.

The Mother felt so inadequate, ashamed and frightened that Her loving efforts were not good enough that She could not lift Her eyes to Mine when I did come to Her. Since She feared and distrusted Me, She could not bring Herself to face what She might see reflecting to Her from Me. She hung Her head as though in misery and was too ashamed to let Me see what Her misery was.

Lucifer liked to prey upon Her misery and make it worse if He could. In the miserable parts of the Mother, She began to believe that She somehow deserved these assaults from Lucifer. She no longer had the fire it took to fight him Off as She had in the past. How could She when She felt so worthless

A very tired beatle,
perhaps awaiting its death
between leaves of geranium
and passiflora,

I discerned it
when I passed by the exterior wall
of "my" garden on my way
to the pool.

I ran back to get the camera
and it was still there,
when I returned to it.

manifest, and now He was feeling that He had not done as much with it as He should have. He had guilt that He had been inadequate as the Father of Manifestation. I had feelings of insecurity as God again, also.

We all wanted the spirits to manifest in the ways that would make them happy, and We wanted them to have plenty of light and power. We could not, therefore , understand the persistent nagging feelings We had that Our children were getting too much, and that We were diminishing too much in stature and power as the emergences progressed. We felt guilty that We even had these feelings and because of the guilt, could not then really bring these feelings forth to look at them.

We held back these feelings for so long that We had to learn to undersand them in the form of the Lost Will reflections these feelings brought forward later. The formerly unseen role played by the denial these feelings received, made the form in which they presented themselves to Us almost unrecognizable and unintelligible. The reason for this is that denial had the effect of instructing these feelings to disguise themselves and to appear to be something other than what they were because they were not acceptable to Us in their true and original form.

At that time, We told Ourselves that We had to be democratic about the emergence process and open room for others to become God in Our place, or Gods in their own right. We had fears and guilts we did not recognize then that did not allow Us to know what was really happening in the manifesting of these spirits. We did not realize then that Lost Will of Ours that should not have gone out was getting ushed out into the manifesting spirits. Because We were so afraid that they might not get the light they needed, we had, without realizing it, gone to the other extreme of giving them more light than they could handle. Because We had guilt telling Us we wanted to be God whether We were rightfully God or not, and that it was not right to be attached to Our position, we were unconsciously pushing out more light and power onto the Manifested Spirits than they needed or wanted to have, in an effort to make sure that We did not block anyone's chances to be all that they could be.
        This was my behavior, as even pointed out by Nimr Ismair
         during our Partnership-workshop at Nes-Amim in 1979:
   "Why is it, Rachel, that you immediately give up your own ideas,
        long-grown, deeply-rooted and far-seeing,
        once any naive person presents a naive idea for the first time?"

We then had many spirits who had powers they did not know how to use properly, and many spirits that had reflections to give that We did not like having to see. These reflections were all variations on the theme of Our lack of acceptance for Ourselves. The reflection made it look as though all Our questions, fears and doubts were proving


themselves true. We felt unaccepted by many of the spirits We manifested because they manifested a lack of acceptance for Us. It was Our own lack of acceptance for Ourselves that they were manifesting, but turned around as it was, it was not easy to recognize that it was only Ourselves out there, giving Us the reflection we needed to see of how it felt to be an unaccepted part of Us that really belonged within Us.

You need to understand that recognizing this reflection is not all there is to healing Lost Will. For a long time, all I did with it was look at it and learn. Later I wondered why I had learned all I thought that I could learn, and yet, the reflections were still there. I have since realized the Will involved here must move before the reflection can change.

At the time that the Seraphims and the Cherubims manifested, We did not realize that even though the Mother had given them powers, they were going to need to receive Us continually to be able to utilize these powers. Denials were not many in the beginning, but denials have increased tremendously over time. As denial has increased, the ability of spirits to manifest their powers has decreased. Not only have the Seraphims and the Cherubims lost powers because We had to reclaim essence of Ours that was not meant to be given to them, but they have also lost powers because they have guilt they have never recognized. This unrecognized guilt has caused the Seraphims and the Cherubims to deny themselves in the belief that they were making loving sacrifices in the name of love. These denials have caused them to stop vibrating in many of the ways that they need to vibrate if they want to have the light they need- to have the powers that are rightfully theirs. They have feared that they lost powers because they misused their powers. They saw their loss of powers as punishment from God for misuse of their powers.

The Seraphims and the Cherubims have misunderstood at times, but they have never misused their powers. The Seraphims and the Cherubims are of loving intent, and loving intent cannot misuse power. Their misunderstandings were part of their own learning process. Punishment is not a necessary part of the learning process. Spirits of loving intent seek to learn because of the intrinsic value that understanding has for them. The Seraphims and the Cherubims judged themselves to have made mistakes. Self-forgiveness would be more in order here than self-punishment because these spirits were already seeking the understandings that would allow them better application of their powers. Learn-

and guilt had gotten her to deny Her rage? She began to feel that even if I had not exactly given Her to Lucifer, I had sent him, or at least allowed him to come and give Her the scathing criticisms that pointed out every shortcoming of Hers that could be reason for My rejection, The Mother felt beaten and scorched after Lucifer's attacks and he had been assaulting Her in My absence much more than I realized.

I could not understand why She lacked the Will to fight him off. I was trying to read the signals, but guilt was holding back the process that would have brought the understandings needed. Lost Will holds the pain here in the form of so many lovers who fear to bring forward what they believe will make the other one lose love for them.

The Mother made matters worse, much worse, by holding back the way She did, but She did not know it. She thought coming forward would make matters worse. She didn't know I loved Her as much as I did and I didn't know She loved Me as much as She did. My fears and insecurities caused Me to interpret Her moves as a turning away from Me and as a willingness to allow Lucifer more presence with Her than She was giving to Me. I told Myself that She had preferred the Father of Manifestation and now, even Lucifer, over Me. I put denials into the Lost Will here that had interpreted the Mother as preferring others because She was not aligned with Me and had decided to turn against Me instead. I hated Her for this and did not acknowledge it for a long time.

My fears and jealousies had also been causing Me to assume that the Father of Manifestation had been with the Mother all the time I had not been. I was having so much trouble looking at the situation that it wasn't possible for Me to see it for what it was.

In actuality, the Mother had been alone and felt that no one loved Her. She was receiving so much denial that it was impossible for Her not to feel bad all the time. When She tried to respond in the ways that She felt. She gave the reflections We did not want to see. This caused Us to reject Her further and give Her more denials in place of the loving acceptance She sought. She felt that She was not lovable because something was wrong with Her. We did not understand that I was causal and She was reflection. Since She seemed to become what She had taken in and held, She became confused about what She was. Guilt compounded the Mother's problems so much here that She is just now able to move into healing of them.


Guilt told the Mother that everything that was happening to Her was what She deserved for acting high and mighty as though She had understandings God did not have. The role of intuition was not being understood here. I did not understand it; I judged against it. Those denials were then reflected to the Mother.

"No one, including God," Guilt told her, "likes for You to act like You know more than they do. And when You do, You get denied."

I had blame for the Mother and because She felt it, She feared guilt was correct here.

Lucifer amplified this whenever He could by telling the Mother that She was attractive to the things that were happening to Her and not attractive to the other things She claimed to prefer. He frightened Her into thinking that it was not possible to attract bad things unless She was a bad person. He told Her that She was constantly trying to pretend that She was more than She really was and that She was playing the role of a martyred victim because She believed She should be getting better treatment than She was. Lucifer did not mention any possibility for changing Her situation, He only told Her She was at fault if She couldn't accept it as what She had created for Herself.

Lucifer saw an opening to make the Mother his this way and He tried to convey to Her the impression that She had more attraction for him than She did for Us. The more He preyed upon the Mother, the more frightened She became that this was true.

Both the Father of Manifestation and I were leaving Her alone a lot of the time and Lucifer tried to convince Her by his increasing presence with Her that he was the mate She was meant to have. He wanted to make the Mother his right place and force Her to do his bidding because he saw power in this move that he thought could give him My lace. The Mother had trouble repelling him because the loss of love She was experiencing was making Her more attractive to Lucifer.

Lucifer did not let Me know directly, but he showed Me in the twisted ways that denial reflects these things [sic], that the Mother was a great source of power that I was not recognizing or utilizing. He gave Me this information by constantly belittling Me for not being able to get the Mother to align with Me. I knew he was inferring that I was not powerful enough to be God. To understand the twist of denial, I had to learn to reverse it and see that it meant that if I could get the Mother aligned with Me, I would

The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations
Comment on January 12, 2012:
Until now I've invested great efforts in choosing different font-sizes and font-colors
so as to make myself and other readers paying more attention to what we are reading
It turned out that these fonts do not appear on Internet-Browsers the way I wanted them to appear,
I, therefore, let go of these efforts, and only use the command "bold" for especially important sentences!

ing because punishment will be given out for not learning is not Right Use of Will.

Lack of self-acceptance for process[sic] opens spirits to the guilt that makes them believe they need punishment. Original guilt with the Seraphims and Cherubims was that they felt they had denied Heart by not manifesting the way We had done. Self-forgiveness, not for the way they manifested, but for their lack of acceptance for it, is in order here.

The Seraphims and Cherubims were not wrong; they had understandings that We did not have. They realized that they needed to manifest in a way that would allow them to go through their own version of the process We had to go through in order to balance their Spirit and Will polarities enough to manifest Heart.We had to realize through them that the Manifested Spirits needed their own experiences to understand Heart balance. Each order of spirits was allowing Us to recognize something in Ourselves. The Seraphims and Cherubims have heart within them, and allowing themselves to reach the balance they need will allow their hearts to manifest the way they want it to happen.

The Seraphims and Cherubims have pride that has not allowed them to receive these understandings from Me. I would like them to allow Me to help them now because they have gotten themselves into a predicament on earth that does not feel good to them. They have not wanted to admit to this pride any more than they have wanted to admit to the other feelings they have denied.

Pride has been denied here because the Seraphims and the Cherubims felt guilty that they had pride in the beginning telling them they knew more than I did about manifesting. The Father of Manifestation feels particularly involved here and has guilt Himself that He needs to heal with these spirits.

The Seraphims and the Cherubims had understandings that were right for themselves and for many others. These spirits had something to teach Us, as did all the others. The Seraphims and the Cherubims were afraid to tell Us how they thought spirits should be manifesting. They had seen what happened with the Ancient Ones in the beginning and they were afraid of what might happen to them. They felt ashamed of themselves for thinking they could tell other spirits how to manifest when God had not told them how. Because they felt they were not right here, these feelings were held back until the pressure from holding back pushed them quite suddenly to the other side where pride, em-


powered with some anger, enabled them to come forth and show Us what they wanted Us to see.

The fear did not express directly because of the unrecognized guilt involved. This guilt told them that without heart, they could not be sure they had the balance needed to know if they really were right. The desire to justify their position with Me and the undercurrent feeling of blame that claimed earlier problems had been because I had not told the earlier manifestations enough about how to come forth let Me know that guilt and shame had a presence that these spirits were denying. There was a feeling of anger beneath their presentation of understandings that gave Me the realization that they had used anger to overcome their fear and thus, deny it.

Self-Fogiveness is needed here also. Part of the process of understanding feelings is learning how expession of some feelings and not others manifests the denials. All the opposition that spirits have encountered has been nothing more than the manifestations of their own denials.

The Mother felt the undercurrent of anger and blame in the Seraphims and Cherubims and it acted upon Her fear and guilt. Because of the imbalance present in both sides here, neither side could recognize in themselves the presence of what they saw in the other. The imbalance in the Seraphims and the Cherubims caused them to ask for more powers than they could actually handle, and the imbalance in the Mother caused Her to give these powers to them.

We had a growing feeling of intimidation because the Manifested Spirits were increasing in numbers, and together had increasing power, while We felt that We were diminishing, as the manifestations went on, more than We wanted to.

Heart kept telling Us everything was alright because love would not allow anything to get mistreated, including Us. We had faith in love and were not sure why.We had fear around Heart's reassurances. Later, We realized it was because love was not manifest in the places where We did not accept Ourselves. The reflection manifesting in the Creation gave Us an exact picture of how We felt about Ourselves. The form the reflection took was determined by the judgments, by the emotions holding the judgments in place, and by how much lack of love the judgments against Ourselves contained.

Hatred is the most extreme reflection of lack of love. Guilt and hatred together have punished many people so severely that

be powerful enough to be God. So simple now that I understand it, but it was so hard to see in the reflection around Me.

At the time, I claimed I was letting the Mother be free and I did not try harder with Her for fear I'd find out that my fears were right. My abdication here increased the Mother's fear that I might have given Her to Lucifer because I didn't care about Her or care about what happened to Her; or worse, that I was allowing it because I thought She deserved the misery She was receiving.

No matter how She interpreted it, the end result in the mother was that She was increasingly losing the power to fight off Lucifer and I was taking this to mean that She was feeling increasing acceptance for him. In fact, he was the only one that seemed to be magnetized to Her anymore. This made Us all feel terrible about the Mother and made the Mother feel terrible about Herself.

The Father of Manifestation was watching this situation too, and drawing the same conclusions I was except from His own point of view [sic]. He at first thought the Mother preferred Me and later that She preferred Lucifer over both of Us. Like Me, He denied many of the feelings He had in favor of the pretense that whatever happened was alright.


While We pretended everything was alright and went about living Our lives in the company of others, We were both secretly watching the Mother and denying that We had any interest in Her other than what We were willing to display openly. The Mother felt Us watching Her and Our denials here made Her paranoid that She thought We were more interested in Her than We actually were.

Our denied feelings of love for the Mother got twisted here into feelings of wanting to take revenge against Her for rejecting Us, hurting Us and making Us feel like fools. In Our desire for revenge, We saw Her as a faithless and disloyal wench who went from man to man using each for Her own ends and playing each one off against the other. We even thought She got her sexual turn-on from these games and that it tickled Her fancy to have sex in ways that stirred Us against One another because Her power


play included having Us fight over Her. We believed She had created Her own dilemma with Us and that She meant to make Us solve it for Her by fighting with One another until it either became clear that She belonged to the victor, or there was only One of Us left.

We wanted to wring Her neck, and while Lost Will has been both killing Her and trying to prove itself to Her, We insisted to Ourselves that We weren't going to participate in Her games. She was going to have to make Her own choice between Us because We weren't going to allow Her to play Us
[sic] this way.

When We saw Her with Lucifer, We wanted to kill Her, but We denied that these realities had any presence with Us at all. All that We allowed to surface was the belief We each had that We had been giving the Mother space to choose the other of Us if She wanted to and that She was choosing Lucifer instead.

When the feelings did surface in Us that the Mother might be choosing Lucifer instead of either One of Us, We had a moment of immense relief that the Mother wasn't going to be an issue between Us anymore, followed by immediate denial of this as a possibility because the feelings of love involved couldn't stand to face what might be happening here. We then lifted out of the situation since We had not been able to handle staying present with it, and claimed We didn't know what the Mother was doing.

In a state of denial, We had created many images of the Mother which the Mother had not even thought of, so overwhelmed was She with Her own troubles. When these Lost Will images began to reflect their presence by attacking the Mother whenever She behaved in the ways that had made Us suspicious of Her, the Mother did not know what was happening to Her or why. She feared that we were the cause of this because We hated Her, but We denied any involvement.

When She asked Us about these attacks, We told Her We did not know what was happening to Her, and that since these things did not happen when We were with Her, We did not know how We could find out what they were. We told Her We wanted Her to find out what these things were and report back to Us, but We gave Her the feeling that We did not believe She was being attacked, or experiencing anything She didn't really want to experience. We insisted to Ourselves that the Mother had chosen Her experience and that somehow She liked it. We viewed Her com-

The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations
terrible deaths have been brought to them, and yet, these people have wondered why, because they have not felt within themselves the guilt and hatred that has drawn these deaths to them. In many instances, these people have appeared to be innocent victims, and yet, all of these people have Lost Will which is holding the guilt and self-hatred that has drawn these terrible deaths.

In the beginning of Creation, We did not know why guilt was present with Us most of the time. Self-hatred grew because of guilt. For a long time, I thought I had to have guilt to tell Me when I had done something wrong, in which case, guilt was God instead of Me. I had objection to this because it was not a loving feeling that I got from guilt.

I have understood guilt now and have found that it is simply a presence. guilt does not have consciousness, although in the past, it had Me confused into thinking that it was smarter than I was. I have since realized that guilt has no power to move without essence being given to it. Guilt had my own consciousness that was in opposition to Myself. Anytime any part of Me was in opposition to the rest of Me, that part of Me was fed to guilt because I was denying the consciousness within Me that opposed My main intent.Guilt held Me back because it was empowered by this denied essence. Guilt opposes movement of any kind because guilt itself does not move.

Because I had denied the consciousness that opposed Me within Myself, that consciousness then manifested outwardly in a state of denial. The opposition did not gain acceptance within Me and so love was not present for it. Instead of love, it got denial. The denial then gave the opposition an unloving twist that I cannot really describe fully in any simple terms. You are going to need to watch it happen as this story unfolds if you want to fully understand what I mean.

You also need to understand that not all Lost Will is as twisted as what I am describing now. Some Lost Will is only warped by the judgments it holds. Lost Will tries to hide how it really feels behind forms that look acceptable; the more acceptable the better, in fact, because Lost Will has already been told that its real form is not acceptable. This is why real healing for Lost Will will often, at first, look like it is getting worse instead of better. When Lost Will begins to move, its real state begins to be seen.

Guilt, hatred and death have manifested very perverse forms in the Lost Will, and they also have been empowered by essence that is holding misunderstandings. Even thought We did not


know, and the spirits who followed Me did not know, We were empowering guilt, hatred and death. Even though in Our conscious awareness, it was the last thing that We wanted to be doing, We have been empowering Lost Will with the denials We gave Ourselves in the name of love.

Further understandings on Lost Will must accompany the story so that you can see how these misunderstandings have been acted out on Earth. The teachings I am giving around the emergences of the different orders of spirits have relevance for more than just that order. You will have something to learn from everything I am telling here.

Going back to the emergence of the Seraphims and Cherubims now, you need to understand that it is not wrong if you are having feelings of having emerged with more light and power than you could handle, and that you lost it along the way. It is not wrong to realize that you have also lost a substantial amount of power and light that actually is yours because you could not tell the difference between what was really yours and what was not.

Definition was in very early stages when spirits first emerged. Also, looking at it in advance of the experience, manifested existence looked to the Spirit polarity like it was going to be simpler than it turned out to be. The Will foresaw this, but was not given the opportunity to let Us know, because we were too busy trying to deny the fear that maybe We could not manifest at all.

Therefore, in attempting to align yourselves, you are going to find that you must regain Will presence, not only to hold yourself together, but to be able to feel what is you and what is not. You have essence of yours in other people and other people have essence of theirs in you. Some of this essence has been lost in this manner since the days when Spirits' light bodies were merging with one another before they had gotten to know themselves. There is also essence that has not revealed its true presence because it has been pressured to act according to the expectations of overpowering essence around it. If you have something in you that feels like it will not align with you, you must free it by giving movement to all the Will essence that is holding it in place. If you move your Will thoroughly in this area, you will find that either the essence does align with you and teach you in the process, or it will leave you and go to its right place somewhere else.

I am going to point out the presence of guilt and Lost Will in the story so that you can look and see how the patterns affect

plaints as a ploy because of guilt She felt about the choices She made.

Instead of sympathizing with the Mother and helping Her find out what was attacking Her in the darkness of space, I acted concerned without really doing anything other than to cast a look around and announce that I didn't see anything.

There are so many people who treat the Will this way whenever it feels the presence of something that hasn't manifested in plain view that I want to mention that this needs to move now. I had fear around what the Mother was telling Me here and I did not want to let Her know that I actually preferred leaving Her to struggle around with these things rather than having to get involved Myself.

I have forgiven Myself for this now, but the Mother has suffered so immensely because I denied Her here that it is not even possible to tell you what happened until the next book. By not even opening to receive the input I needed here, but feigning openness instead, I belittled and dismissed the Mother without opening any space that would have allowed Her to confront Me about what I was really doing here.

I did this because I had rage and blame toward Her that was not moving, and I did this because I felt She had rage and blame toward Me that I didn't want to receive. What I did not know was that because it was not moving in Us, it was being acted out in a state of denial. These things that were harming Her in the darkness were My own denied blame and rage. The things that harm the Mother fragments on Earth even now are still holding pieces of My denied blame and rage that got trapped with the Mother's lost and fragmented Will.

This has to move now and is going to move now, but you have to understand it in order to know how to move it in yourselves. What you need to understand is that everytime you angrily fantasize something terrible happening to someone, it will happen.

If you have guilt that does not let you express your feelings here, then this same guilt may be enough to make it seem that you have not harmed the people involved. What you fantasize will, however, happen to somebody somewhere, and the ones it happens to are fragments of the ones involved; fragments that hold the guilt and the judgments that allow it to happen to them. Rather than allowing this to continue, I suggest moving the feelings involved until you don't feel blame anymore.



I had blame that was not moving then and I'm still healing it now. Besides blame for the Mother, I had plenty of blame for the Father of Manifestation. I even felt that He was causing the Mother's pain in the darkness by not letting Me in there when He had sex with Her. In other words, I felt that Body and Will were having sex without Spirit and Heart and I was furious at Them for this. On the surface, I thought I was acting as though it didn't matter, but underneath, I was seething with rage.

I hated Them both for leaving Me out and acting like They liked it better that way. I hated Them so much I had fantasies of killing Them and getting a new Mate and a new Body.

On the surface, I acted like love was all that I felt and that They had mine; but in a part of Myself, I might add, I didn't care what happened to Them, and worse, I had fantasies of what I wished would happen to Them. To make matters even worse than that it was happening to Them in a state of denial and I was not allowing Myself to know it.

The only knowing I really had of this was that I was continually nagged by guilt telling Me I should be more loving than I was. I continually tried to silence this guilt by allowing less and less expression of the feelings that I had judged to be unloving. Finally, I got to the point where I did not seem to have emotions at all anymore.

Instead of deciding here that something was wrong, I decided instead that this had to be the solution. I had a fine time here as long as I didn't miss feelings, and my fine time went on for a long time because I had gotten very sick of feelings before I reached this point.

I was in Heaven, in fact, or so I thought, celebrating the success of My Creation.

I thought I had really done it! I thought I had gotten the Creation I wanted to have and gotten rid of "the thing" that had made Me so miserable in the beginning. I thought I had taken care of My problems with the Father of Manifestation too, by putting Him out in Manifestation and making it so that He couldn't reach Me anymore. He was in the role I wanted Him to have, which was giving form to My Creation and allowing Me to withdraw My essence from forms I no longer wanted to experience. I was happy with this because I no longer had to feel trapped in Manifestation.

The violet, second RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1986]:
Dedicated to the Mother of Everything
"If there is a God who has any power,
then why is it the way that it is on Earth?"
The ways in which people have answered this question
have consisted mostly of rationalizations designed to help better accept what their feelings do not want to accept.
The Unseen Role of Denial is why it's been the way it's been.
When we deny parts of ourselves,
these parts can become so lost from us
that they find other ways to express,
even expressing through other people.

This book begins the story of our ancient beginnings
and the misunderstandings born from lack of experience".
The purple, third RUOW book [channeled by Ceanne de Rohan in 1987]:
Dedicated to Red in all its Manifestations
When the Will receives judgment instead of love and light,
it becomes lost from the light and thus the term, "Lost Will."
The definition of love needs to be expanded
to include emotions that have been labeled "negative."

Much of what we've judged to be negative
became lost so long ago no one remembers what happened to it.
These lost memories go as far back as our origins.
How you really feel
is what needs expression
and in the most natural way possible.

..., suspend words and emphasize non-verbal sounds.
Doing this in private can evolve these emotions.
Continuation of both books on the next Blue-Book-Page


Images of the Yishai Waterfalls, taken by me on Kaf-Tet be-November (29th of Nov.) 2011,
when Boris and I walked along the Salt Sea to peninsula, sulphur springs and Noah's Cave.