hodayot [thanksgivings] for today

8:00
My Body, my Partner, my God
I give thanks to our muscles, which - if optimally nourished -
accomplish 3 Megajoules per day,
like a crane which can lift six tons to the height of 50 m
I give thanks that every 2 weeks half of the muscle protein
is replaced by new protein, which means,
that every 5 weeks during our entire life all our muscles are replaced.
I give thanks to you, my Body, for renewing yourself totally
every 7 years!

I am grate-full that Shabbat "keeps me"
[according to the famous teaching,
"it's not you who keep Shabbat, but the Shabbat keeps you"]

last communication next communication
see in

"and walking humbly with your God" [ Micah 6:8]

I haven't talked to you "explicitly" for 6 weeks,
but thank you for all the ongoing communication inside!


"I thank you too! Is it appropriate for "God" to say: I feel elated?"

Right now - 9:18 - I feel pressured that something is expected from me.


"Well, you had your time of rest in 'splendid isolation', hadn't you!"

Please help me to phrase a clear message which will reach their hearts!



"I suggest that you first become aware of the process
which led to this scene in your drama - from the beginning of this week."



Yes, indeed, the exteriors of the insight at Sunday dawn may have signified,
that from now on I must be very attentive to this "detail" of my drama:
that I'm living in one house with a lovable, simple family of 4, called "Cohen".



"Yes! So what did you discern after the entrance of Shabbat?"


****


You see, that it took me more than an hour to tell the story [see right frame]
and now I've only 24 minutes left, until they'll take me with them to the pool.
For this is what you let me come up with:
to skip the morning-pool and join the family on their pool for a longer stay,
so as to have a relaxed environment to talk , as well as to play in the water.


"I'm glad, you let me inspire you with this idea!"

But now comes the crux of the matter.
How am I going to tell them,
that the frightful has to be transformed into the fruitful
('yesh la-hafokh aet ha-mafri'a le-mafrae'],
and what does this mean?
Please let me hear you now clearly!



"As you have discovered already, Lior, as her little brother Amit,
are starchildren who came to this planet at this time with a purpose,
and who attracted you into their environment as a starchild peer.
Starchildren are not to expect being embedded in "mainstream" societies.
It is by purpose, that Lior was "seeded" in a class of new immigrants.

" It is there, where she will find the challenge for her creativity and her love.

"Fighting the system", as you suggested yesterday, is utterly futile anyway.
"You have to slip through the cracks",
as I told to those doing the Healing Work.
Or better:
you have to   g r o w    against the boundaries the system enforces.

" If Lior is made aware of her task, she'll make a game of it!
She'll first invite the five other outsiders and form a coalition,
which will prove their power "against" the coalition of 18.
But soon after this, this coalition will attract outsiders among the 18,
and in time
- she will turn the class into one fruitful cooperative community."




That sounds fantastic, but I have 2 questions.
What is the task of Hoshen,
one of a person in thousands, which I do not like very much
[after having played with her in the pool, and after having known her mother,
my feelings mellowed a lot!]
And how should this simple family grasp so huge a plan?



"The task of Hoshen (and you know what the name means!
see kisslog April 7 and April 10),
was to make Lior grow through coping with her friend's "qualities".
Since the bond is very strong between the two little girls,
Lior will feel supported by Hoshen and not undermined.
(As to Hoshen's lesson - this is none of your business!)
What will make the Cohens accept your understanding,
is the deep trust, which has been built between you since December 2004
(of which you got proof during the little celebration
on the Eve of your birthday)
You must be a clear channel from your heart ,
in which feeling, mind and spirit concerning Khalamish are integrated,
to their heart.
They may not "understand" , but they will "know", that this is right.
And then you'll develop a strategy for Lior's "work in her class"!



I tremble!
I hear them leaving the house to the car and come around to me.



"I am with you all! You may trust!"

The background to this communication with Deity

Meital entered, handing me a half-full nylon-bag with fresh salad-vegetable.
It's for some weeks now, that she always brings some food for Shabbat.
When she asked: "Do you need something else?" I answered this time: "Yes".
She was gladly surprised, not knowing, that I had planned this deliberately.
"Yes, I want two eggs from you!"
"With great joy! But - forgive me - we Moroccans have a habit,
that eggs - only eggs, no other food - should always be given back!"
"But that's exactly, what I cannot do! I don't buy eggs!
The reason I asked you was, that I received semolina from someone
and the only way to use it, is by making a dish of my childhood,
fried "Gries-Schnitten", or "Semolina-Pieces", with milk and eggs."
"Alright then! I'll give you the eggs, don't you need more?"
I went with her around the house and waited at the gate.
When she came with half a box of grapes ("I bought two boxes by error")
and the two eggs,
I heard myself prophecying something which is utterly unusual for me:
"I won't return them, but something good will happen to you now!"
"Oh, Rachel, you don't know what you are saying! Something good!
I need it so much! I haven't been eating or sleeping for 3 days!"
And then I got involved in a drama, which at first made me regret,
that I had broken the rule of my game, which says:
"Let people know,
that you gladly receive the food, which they would throw away,
but never ask for food explicitly!"
But then, of course, I knew rightaway, that the eggs had only be a pretext,
and that I now was asked to be totally available for the worrying Cohens.

Meital told,
that they were so happy, when they found this school "Khalamish"
(it means 'flint, quartzite' and derives from Deut.32:13,
a verse which was also one of the first Israeli songs I learnt, see below: song of the day).
The first school, which they approached, was without a 'Mo'adonit',
which is an afternoon-framework for kids whose parents work.
"Everything seemed to be exactly to our liking for our first-grader Lior,
but when Lior came home from her first days, she was very sad.
Except for her old friend Hoshen she has nobody to talk to.
For in this class of 24 pupils , 20 are from Russian background,
and though the teacher forbids to talk Russian,
behind her back the pupils do talk Russian
and mock the poor Hebrew speeking class-mates.
There is also a Nigerian boy, even more pitiable, and a Japanese one."
I was just as shocked as she was and confirmed,
that this had nothing to do with being racist, of which the teacher accused her.
There is a parallel class in which the pupils are from mixed backgrounds.
Either Lior and Hoshen should be transferred to that class,
or the two classes should be mixed equally.
But all efforts, including a 2 hours talk with the director, led to nothing.
"I won't let it happen, that my girl will be without friends.
I myself have been working for 5 years now in an electronic plant,
where I am the only Hebrew speaking worker.
Only the radio is my friend.", said Meital with great pain.
"Please help us, Rachel, write a letter, or anything!"
I promised to think what to do until the next evening.

But already during the some 40 steps to my room a voice said:
"This is the wrong direction",
and an hour later I found myself watching a movie in Channel 1,
despite my plan to spend the Eve of Shabbat with the Big Brother group.
The movie "Jana's Friends" has to do - solely! - with Russian immigrants.
How was this programmed in advance????
During the - very moving movie - I became convinced,
that Lior "fell into this class" not by chance.
The only info about Halamish School
says that it stresses "Communication Studies"
both technical skills and "Developing Interpersonal Communication!"

While I swirled Lior and Hoshen around in the water,
I got more exact information:
there is another girl Oriyah who speaks Hebrew,
and a "Russian" girl - Saphir, who speaks both languages
[Meirav later, "yes because her father is Moroccan".]
There is one Sudanese (refugee?) boy, called Yack,
one Ethiopian boy, and one girl "Ravit" from the Black Hebrews.
I told the girls and later the mothers,
what a Cohen is, and how the High Cohen had a "hoshen" on his breast,
[See also kisslog April 7, April 10 , April 17]
and that one of the 12 stones, which symbolize the 12 tribes, was a "Saphir".

Big Brother Drama

08:47

Asher reads in his prayer-book.

I understood from Renin, who is terribly frustrated,
that this is the only book which was allowed into the Big Brother villa.
Another - male - participant said to her:
"Yes, and I even started to read in this book."
Renin didn't complain against this discrimination:
but what about you,
the non-religious Jews and me the Christian Arab?
She said: "Do you know that we learnt Torah".
"what Torah?"
"Nu, YOUR Torah!"
"and who taught you, a Jewish or an Arab teacher?"
"the Arab teacher who also taught us Hebrew!"

...................
"Loving yourself means
that you are in a healer role
relative to any part of you or the Mother, Heart or Body
that has been triggered in you.
Rather than identifying as the hurting part and its victimhood,
you can invoke 'the Folks'
and either in concert with or identified as parental Mother~~~
you open to the hurting part with unconditional loving acceptance.

"Releasing denial energy ["sacrifice" see "Practice] first is strongly recommended, of course.
The two major forms it comes in
are judgments
and the deep denial energy of the asuras.

"In the case of lost Will fragments,
it's almost always the deep denial energy,
and sometimes embedded denial energy
[folksinterview2-see "embedded"]
that must be released
before you will be able to get close enough to the part
to even begin letting her feel your love.

.....
"And too often healing and recovery attempts have been thwarted
because the intention in doing the healing was only to stop the pain,
not to be in union with the part of the Will holding it.
.....
So, the key to finding someone to cry with you
and be with you in loving acceptance of who you truly are
is~~~ unconditionally loving yourself
and all of the fragments of Self
that come to your awareness through triggers.

"As you love yourself and all of your parts more and more,
the Universe will reflect that back to you more and more~~~
until your Will is experiencing your unconditional acceptance,
and becomes free enough to move in manifesting your Heart's desires.
It's the way the Universe works.

There Is No Way

.................................................

"The voice of pain and lost desire you were channeling
was not only the voice of the lost Will,
it was the voice of denial.
Lost Will and denial energy have been together for so long
that very often the Will fragment doesn't know the difference anymore.
Before you'll be able to channel my loving Light
to the part of the Mother in pain,
you will want to release the denial energy
that has been preventing my Light from reaching her.
...................

"And I want to say that you are right,
there is no way around or through an imprint
when you are in the middle of it.
My advice for right now is
be good to yourself when you are in the pain.
Don't try to do healing work in the midst of the pain and fear.
Pamper yourself when you are not feeling well,
as you might imagine the Mother would be
loving you
and your body.

"Wait until you are feeling some degree of love and strength in yourself.
That is the time to connect with the Mother and me,
and work with the lost Will.

"It's in times of relative inner strength and self love
that you can more easily identify with the healer in yourself.
And then you can channel your own unconditional loving acceptance
along with my loving Light~~~
to the part in you that has been hurting.

"In this way your truest self,
you the human healer~~~
are identified with the strength of loving acceptance.
And you as the healer of yourself,
and therefore all of Creation~~~
are bringing just the right medicine to what needs healing.
.....

"With the denial energy gone,
the gaps inside of Self and in Creation can close.
And when there is no more gap,
there is only Us~~~
Spirit and Will finding Our union and birthing New Heart.
And finally realizing Our deepest Heart's desire...
our Heart Song of loving union
embodied in manifestation...
as the greatness you truly are."

In puzzle piece 25 Denial Spirits and Asuras,
on the date 2001_12_30-31
I analyze a British drama about
how Loving Hearts' denial of Self
and their loving deception of others
open the space for horrible asuras,
 in this case disguised as mother love.

[I read the analysis again - it might be truly helpful for the T-lesson]

The "double helix dynamics",
an expression that came to me and might not be exact
of self-denial and asura-possession

And this is the intuition:
The first step of applying my information about "asuras" must be
to carefully distinguish between the "evil"/the "asura"
and the kind of denial,
to which the evil or the asura "attaches itself".

Re-reading my verbal sculpture of the Angela-Helena parable,
I made another distinction:
The denial of Angela etc., which opened the space for Helena's asuras.
But weren't there denials in Helena herself to which the asuras could attach?

Cain has been deemed evil.
But what probably can be considered as the takeover of an asura,
was the result of his inability to cope with his emotion of feeling unworthy,
i.e. the denial of his inherent selfworth.
Evil was NOT that he couldn't control this emotion,
neither was it evil that he couldn't control the asura.
Evil was the asura.

And like humans learnt to provide their food
without the need to kill others, not even animals,
they'll learn to provide for Cain's needs
to feel self-esteem,                    to be appreciated by others,
to do something satisfying,             to belong to a community
and no asura will find a crack to slip in.

I also found a moving Communication with Deity,2002_06_16
in which I expressed my despair about understanding
Godchannel's info about "Asuras"