The Purpose  of   HEALING - K.i.s.s.
as stated 12 years ago - was and is
to help me and my potential PEERS
to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,
and - as holograms - all of Creation!
Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013
and Overview of its main libraries

[If you look for a word on this page,
click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]

I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'

pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"



The FELT days 212, 213, 214, 215 ~ of the next 15 FELT years [see linear time-line]

1 5   y e a r s  = 5 4 8 0   days   of
g e f u e h l t e - g e f u e l l t e   Z e i t   
"inmitten der Ewigkeit",
f e l t - f i l l e d   t i m e  
"amidst eternity"
from the beginning of my 76th till the completion of my 90th year [unless I'll die after all]
The feeling chosen from a day is exhibited in max. 7 lines per day since August 28, 2013
Since March 25, 2014, the only documentation of my life is distilled in "Felt Days"!!
My role in the manifestation of the Tent-Vision is implied in the biblical tent quote!
Often some "Driving Backward into the Future" is presented in a link beneath a day's song!
Nourishment refers to every outside input, which I enjoyed or from which I learnt.
Since April 10, I sculpt "Felt Day" in Hebrew, prepared for and inserted as ".png".
Names in "Felt Days" appear on top in English, so they can be found in "Search"

2014-04-07-Monday-still 5266 days

Still humbled by the message through Iris [being spared to have to learn it through "a lesson"-my planned forcing a healing on Ronnit), + by my morning-games-(book & postcard from shelf and the Ohel-verse, with the small Alef (=God self-limiting) + the "Snake-Message" 1984-01-01

2014song April: netzor leshonkha mi-dibbur


2014-04-08-Tuesday-still 5265 days

How blessed I feel - despite the depression which follows days of absence from home. Tzippi-see her 2006 with Maya, also one of the 13, to whom I reported how I feel after "the healing". "Isn't all the evil a result of denial, but there is also the law of reality: too much fire." "But when there'll be no denial, people will tell you that your fire is too much and will recede without pain, blame, shame."

song: leila, leila ha-ruakh...leila, ha-'ir aet ozni

Driving backward>below: Albert Schweitzer.


2014-04-09-Wednesday-still 5264 days

Blessed: I awoke with Ps 139, put in tune twice, in my bus in 1986: gam sham yadkha tankheni, followed by solutions to 2 worries: Elah, 26, and her dove-cat-dream: "Visit me! the first time siince 20 years!" Esther, 77, from the jacuzzi: "I did my part concerning your confused husband's driving. Now it's your part!"

: haqitzoti ve-odi imakh


2014-04-10-Thursday-still 5263 -Gadi

2013Songs, June
: Itfini skhinati....bushah

This time even the link to Learn&Live 16, written underneath the fourfold frame, had refused 3 times to appear

April 7, 2014-OHEL 68 from among its 365 appearances in the Bible

And he called to Moshe-
YHWH spoke to him

Er rief Moshe zu,
er redete, ER, zu ihm
aus dem ZELT der BEGEGNUNG.
Er Rief 1,1

Fox:" And he called... YHWH spoke:
The unusual syntax here links the opening of Leviticus with the revelation at Mount Sinai in Ex. 24:16,
the only other passage in the Torah where God "called to Moshe" , in these exact words."


I reported how I felt after "THE HEALING"
to Gadi, Efrat and Maya (since 1991)
to Tal, Udi and Itai (since 10 days ago)
to Lior (since she was 11 in 1999)
to Tzippi (since she was 15 , in 2004)
to my children Immanuel+Efrat and Micha
to my healers Yanina and Iris (since 1966)


April 8, 2014- OHEL 69 from among its 365 appearances in the Bible

and what he did concerning Datan and Aviram...
how the earth opened up its mouth and swallowed them
and their households and their TENTS
and all existing-things that were under their feet
in the midst of all Israel
Deuteronomy 11:6

und die er an Datan und Abiram ...tat,
da die Erde ihren Mund aufriss,
sie verschlang,
ihre Haeuser, ihre ZELTE,
und all den Bestand, der in ihren Fussspuren ging,
im Innern von all Yisrael-
Reden 11,6

Notice, that the evil-doers, Datan and Aviram, who competed with Moshe, are "all the universe under their feet" and "within Israel"!



I now allow myself to dream, imagining my shame if I should delude myself
About 10 years ago I went with Yanina to a workshop with Jeanne White Eagle in the Galilee. Sometime earliert Jeanne had visited me with husband and friends at Modi'in. We sounded together - it was beautiful.
And yet there, in the Galilee, I had to counter her, probably, as always, because I discerned denial of feelings...
On this day - thinking of the Thirteen, to whom I sent my Thank-you for their support of my Healing, I see this advice
"find twelve people in the world", as a lovely coincidence.
Though I, too, still cling to the symbolism of "Twelve",
I've learnt years ago, that the symbolic number in the future will be 13
(e.g. I wanted to birth 12 children, "but" am mother of 3 and grandmother of 10). Therefore: 12 tents and the fourfold Mishkan in the center!

"The book itself was written to find twelve or more people in the world who have had an almost identical vision that I received through a recurring dream that appeared over a period of more than two decades. It has to do with the transformation of humankind, life on Earth and our eventual ongoing interaction with Beings from other Star Systems. If you're up for it, I encourage you to read the book. Whether or not you're one of the twelve, you may be one of the people that is being called to be a part of the communities that will be necessary to bring the dream into physical reality. "

Twelve yoke of oxen before him,
and he with the twelfth;

Since my double stay at Mitzpe-Ramon
[March 25-26 + 28-20, 2014]
I became surer each day,,
that I now am allowed and able
to "hand over my staff"
just like Moshe to Yehoshua
and Eliyahu to Elisha.

[I know also about Jeremiah and Baruch,
but there the "handing over" is not so clear.]

So - already last week-
I graphically edited the stories
about Moshe>Yehoshua
and Eliayahu-Elisha,

I'm not "a fan" of Yehushua
and definitely not of Elisha.
What poor pupils they were!
I really don't understand it.

I ardently yearn for a "successor",
and ardently hope that it will be
Itai and Tal, the couple,
perhaps together with Udi,

Better are the two than the one
and the threefold cord
is not quickly severed

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, listen to my song

After "THE HEALING" I felt, I should drive backward to my "Hologram 1984", two volumes.
What fell into my hands were loose pages: the German translation of the snake-story.
Later, in the evening, an item in the TV news: a woman had been bitten by a snake.
This coincidence convinced me, that I should copy that incredible message of 1984,
and integrate it with the messages about "The sick doctor" and "Too much Fire".
I'm content, that in these 30 years I have not only become WHAT-I-AM
but that I take responsibility for what Being-Myself causes my co-actors.

See the snake-images and the snake-message in Hebrew and in German at the bottom of Learning&Living 17.


April 9, 2014-OHEL 70 from among its 365 appearances in the Bible

Lavan came into Yaakov's TENT
and into Lea's TENT
and into the TENTS of the two maids,
but he did not find anything.
Then he went out of Lea's TENT
and came into Rahel's TENT.
Genesis 31:33

Laban kam
in Jaakobs ZELT
und in Leas ZELT
und ins ZELT der zwei Maegde
und fand nichts,
dann trat er aus Leas ZELT
und kam in das ZELT Rachels
Genesis 31:33

Since "OHEL" appears five times in this verse, it's not surprising that my blind finger hit this verse - inserted on March 28 - another time today


A postcard to my son Immanuel, when he was 15 1/2 years old
There were little coincidences in my morning-games,
but more important was the surprise of a postcard,
which included an association to my daughter.
My husband allowed me to participate in 2 workshops
of Re-evalutation Counseling, in England.
Ronnit, then 13, would take part in the second one,
while during the first one she would stay with her grandmother.
Yet before that we would travel together in Germany for a week,
visit my Altzheimer sick mother, my sister's family, by dead brother's family
and end up with my mother-in-law, Franz Rosenzweig's widow.
I tell Immanuel, that his sister was "evolving" as I hoped she would...

How did I "make use" of Immanuel's maturity?
I asked him to send two documents to someone,
who was severely pro-Palestinian and anti- Israeli,
but loosened up through her experience with my work.
[April 12: see how this doc. "Turning ... into partners" came up again!]
Why didn't I ask my husband to find and send these docs?
How much did I burden by children with my "peace"-work!

Shim'on, one of 17 guests in the meeting in Gadi's Jazz-Club, on March 25, 2014
published the 5 minutes of my verbal sculpture of my Tent-Vision.
It's the first time that I see a video with myself - quite an excercise in self-acceptance!
Why is it, that I look so grim when I talk? Where is my serenity, my lightness, my smile?

See the verbal sculpture inserted on March 22, 2014

April 10, 2014- OHEL 71 from among its 365 appearances in the Bible

Now Heber the Kenite
had severed himself from the Kenites,
even from the children of Hobab
the father-in-law of Moses,
and had pitched his TENT as far as Elon-bezaanannim, which is by Kedesh.
Judges 4:11

Chaber der Keniter aber
hatte sich von Kajin getrennt,
von den Soehnen Chobabs,
Mosches Schwagers,
er spannte sein ZELT bis zur Eiche in Zaanannim,
das bei Kadesch ist.
Richter 4,11

Here "Ohel" means the entire area of a Bedouin tribe, non-Hebrews.
The English translator tried to make sense of the name "Kajin", seeing in it, as my concordance says:
'the most southern tribe of the Cana'nites', based on the not less unclear saying of Bil'am about
Kajin and Kenites in Nu 24:20-22
But how could a Kenite tribe sever himself from "the Kenites"?
And what do the Kenites have to do with
Chobab, one of the names of Moshe's father-in-law (here called "brother-in-law" by Buber-Rosenzweig?)
It's not my preference to solve these riddles now - but I pay attention to the appearance of these figures:
Kajin and Chobab,
so important in the Bible's messages!


18 days after Ronnit's birth,
this postcard was sent by a trainee of Rafael in Israel's
Development Cooperation.
It came from Berbérati,
Central African Republique.
I feel deeply touched
by the village under palms,
by those Israelis in Africa,
by the timing 1965-2014,
and most of all
by the divine way
black and white
are joined!

Thanks to the artist!

That Israeli trainee, Michael, and his wife Noga, with their child, worked on a coffee-farm.
I do not buy coffee, for in some countries the coffee-bean-workers are held almost like slaves.
But today that Esther from the jacuzzi gave me a bunch of small hotel coffee-bags as charity!

After having sculpted this, I discovered - below - the sculpture about Albert Schweitzer and Afrika ...

Today 9 years ago: April 10, 2005
"the dress of Yahia's Mother's - a sign"


I want you to enhance
and to not distort,
what the Vision of Tents
intends to evolve
the earth of the desert
will stay free and pure
and host us humans
to find ourselves.

Move to next "Felt Day" in Learning&Living Today, XVII, 2005




See below: November 8-11, 2010
Closeups to my Past, Finetuning to my Present, Nourishment for my Living -
- which enhance and enrich my experience of "Mika's Heaven on Earth"

Click! and click again to stop! And if you want to do yourself a favor, join in! Sing!
May my throat's overtone singing today - unite all my denied parts and lost fragments with me - today!

{5 - 2005_05_06}
"Learning to feel better requires that you become better at feeling"



I felt enlightened, when I read about a new understanding of the term

[April 9, 2014:
The way I "shared" my fantasy about healing the rift with my daughter
and the way I exposed my own feeling and failing, learning and healing,
to the hearts and minds of thirteen people - by asking for their support,
is the kind of "Service" I'm meant to provide at this time on the Planet]

and about the beneficial differentiation between the terms

and I felt inflated/deflated by the prediction in
"The Energies for May 2005"

From: in:

Translations into HEBREW:

2010_11_09- The new site of Starchild is now

"The Meaning of Compassion in this Cycle :
The Teachings of Lady Quan Yin through Celia Fenn"

... this message is to bring to you the joy
of experiencing and exercising Compassion
in your adventure of life on Planet Earth.
For you are here, beloved ones,
to grow through service to others.
And this service is based on Compassion.

And yet so few people truly understand the meaning of Compassion.
In literal language terms it means "to feel with" another.
Or to encounter another "with feeling".
Many people interpret this in emotional terms,
assuming that it means to feel pity or kindness.
But this is not so.

Compassion...means "to feel with" another.
Or to encounter another "with feeling".
Compassion means to see with the Heart, or to see with feeling.
- to see with the Heart means
to see the Oneness that you share with others.

And in this recognition,
to feel the bliss
of the Universal Source within yourself

through this connection and service.

SERVICE based on compassion
is not "helping" or even "teaching", so much as a "sharing"
based on the joy of common human experience.
This may be called "healing",
since it awakens in others
a sense of their common humanity

so many understand Compassion to mean "helping" those less fortunate.
And while this kind of work is indeed admirable and necessary,
it is considered to be Charity,
and is not the fundamental meaning of Compassionate Service.
Your planet is addicted to states of pain and grief and sorrow.
Your news services are filled with disaster and death,
and so you confuse emotional responses of pity and fellow-feeling with Compassion.

Dearest ones, understand that Compassion is ...
to find Joy and Peace within yourself and to pass it on to others.
This means that you will need to release addictions to disasters and suffering and dramas of pain.
Do not create them in your own lives and do not support them in the lives of others.

Rather - focus your Compassionate Hearts
on bringing ... love and the Message of Hope and Unity to all those you meet.

This is Compassion!

The New Earth will be based on the understanding of Compassion.


"Understanding the True Meaning of Joy in Service :
The Teachings of Lady Quan Yin through Celia Fenn."

You confuse joy with happiness,
and because you cannot be happy all the time
you feel that you have failed or that you are not good enough.

joy is ... produced
when the Heart and Soul [ Body, Will, Spirit and Heart]
unite in ... service of ...
the unfolding of the Divine Plan on the planet.

It creates within the person
a sense of contentment, acceptance, and serenity.
A deep knowing that whatever might happen,
it will all be for the highest good according to Divine decree.
This knowledge produces ... fortitude and strength,

even in adverse and difficult circumstances
[my circumstances are wonderful, but my feelings are not]

such as those through which many of you are now passing.
For we see your stress, and your exhaustion,
as you struggle with the new patterns of being and release the old ways.

And no, many of you are not happy,
but you can experience ... joy
in the knowing
that this difficult shift is ...
what so many of you came to the planet to experience and to work for,
and it is now a global process in which all are involved.


But happiness is different.
Happiness is a state of delight and emotional well-being
in which you feel completely without stress and anxiety.
You ... enjoy and celebrate each moment of life.
Happiness is the ideal towards which all are striving,
and it is the aim and end point of the New Earth.
A planetary society that will create happiness for all.


But, do you understand, dearest Lightworkers [better: HeArtists],
that happiness may not be within your reach right now.

There is so much chaos and imbalance as everything shifts and changes.

And so it is counterproductive to judge yourself
because you cannot be happy all the time as you would like to be.
You are processing not only your own issues and energies,
but as Lightworkers [as HeArtists]
you are often processing
the energies and issues of the Collective Mind as well

Understand, dearest ones,
that you are working as a group,
and working as a group towards collective happiness.
Within this framework,
the individual is in service of the Collective,
and must put individual happiness aside
until the Collective can achieve this state.

This may be difficult for you to grasp,
[not for me - I've always known this and always suffered this ,
and as much as I wanted to change my personal sufferings,
I never ever had the wish to not feel the human predicament.]

since your culture and your ego-mind have taught you to think of yourself only and to seek happiness for yourself.

2010_09_16; read again on 2010_11_09

But were I erred, was my misunderstanding of com-passion as "suffering-with".
I thought, that I'm not allowed to not suffer, as long as humankind suffers.
Even when my mother had a headache,
I was - in my eyes- "not allowed" to not suffer with her.
Or more exact: I prayed, that I may suffer  i n s t e a d   of her.
Now I know, that my emotion-of-suffering is not compassion.
Compassion is - in my present wording - to be full-filled with JOY,
and to radiate this to all humans, those who attract me into their dramas,
and those who don't, but are cells and organs and limbs of my Body!

But while this is still true,
it must be balanced with seeking happiness for the Collective,
for as you know, in the language of the Heart you are all One.

So what the One experiences
must be experienced by their Collective as well.


And so, gradually, you are learning once again,
how to live with a true sense of Oneness and Group Responsibility.
And you, as Lightworkers [as HEARTISTS], are showing the way.


So, dearest Lightworkers [ HEARTISTS],
do not be so hard on yourselves if you are not happy all the time,
and if you find life hard and a struggle.
Know that right now, the qualities that will sustain you
until you can create happiness in the New Earth
are Courage and Serenity.
[She doesn't say here , what feelings I have to heal and evolve, and how,
in order to achieve "Courage and Serenity"!]

This energy of quiet strength will do more for others than any assumed front of happiness,
because you feel that as Lightworkers [ HEARTISTS] you should be happy.


Be honest with yourself,
allow your feelings and emotions.
Remember that your hearts are healing
and you are having to cope with deep feelings and emotions
that    may   have    been     repressed    for    many    lifetimes.
Be prepared to share your feelings, emotions and anxieties
with those who can support you,
without becoming co-dependent or falling into victim states.

[If I apply this passage, I'll be able to love my fear and transform it into courage!]
[March 29, 2011: What fear did I mean? I don't have the "big" fears of others,
like my daughter-in-love ("earthquakes", "cancer" etc. ) or most people at these times.]


Courage will tell you that this will pass in time,
and that when the ... awakening of the planet is complete,
you will find and create states of happiness.
Serenity will enable you to remain calm and focussed,
even when the stress of the transition is great
and you feel that you cannot go on.
And Joy will be the result,
because you know
that you are contributing your energy and your light

[= COM-PASSION and Consciousness]

to the unfolding of a greater plan and in service of the Highest Good...

March 29, 2011 [context: the disasters in Japan]
I read a passage of Rilke , where he , too, differentiates between "Happiness" and "Joy",
and he, too, does so at a time of overwhelming suffering and distress - in WorldWar I.
See Letter 226 to Marianne von Goldschmidt-Rothschild on    5. Dezember 1914

The Energies for May 2005
Archangel Michael through Celia Fenn


Dearest Ones,
we bring you wonderful news this day about exciting energies that will activate your planet in May
and will continue to raise consciousness until the pivotal point of the Solstice on 21/22nd June.


... there has been much change on your planet in April.
.. a massive shift ... for many more people to begin their awakening and ascension.
By June of this year,
Critical Mass will have been achieved,
and the balance will swing in favor of the New Earth.

What this means, dearest Lightworkers [HEARTISTS] , is that your goals will be achieved.
There will be no further need for disasters and cataclysms and death on the planet.
[though I believe in "Critical Mass", which would mean in this case,
that enough people on our planet will have healed into wholeness,
uniting Spirit/mind and Will/feelings as Heart , manifesting in Body,
I feel doubtful towards that Lady's prediction~~~]

The establishment of the Goddess or Paradise Grid, ...
will create the perfect balance needed
as a platform or foundation for the New Earth to manifest into the physical plane.


For indeed, as you traverse this difficult time, dearest Lightworkers [HEARTISTS], you are indeed in service,
and your Joy and Compassion manifests in your Hope and your focus on the reality of the New Earth.
.... This energy will infuse the planet and carry it through to that pivotal point of the June Solstice,
which will be the point of "no return" for the Planet.
From then on, what was formerly an idea or a concept
will begin to take shape or manifest as a reality - the New Earth.
[How do I wish this to come true!
But see the sad-satyric quote from the Yellow Book of Right Use of Will
in puzzle piece 46 "Love&Light&Peace&Joy???"

scroll down to the bottom of that page]


I'm adding another version of this prediction,
which came to me from the "Planetary Awakening Network"

From Pan Administration- Maggie, 2005_04_23

The last few months since the tsunami at the beginning of the year,
a time of deep change and realignment have been in process.
Everyone has been feeling the shift in one way or another,
although many may not understand it or try to push it down or ignore it,
many feel that they cannot cope.
It is bringing up everything,
we are being asked to become conscious on every level,
therefore we are challenged at the deepest level of our being

as spirit asks us to open and release.


November 8-11, 2010
Closeups to my Past, Finetuning to my Present, Nourishment for my Living -
- which enhance and enrich my experience of "Mika's Heaven on Earth"

Tomer 1995, See: My Wrestling with Tomer 2002
In 2004, while still living with his father & Efrat,
Tomer began to take piano lessons.
His incredible achievement within a few months,
exhibited at a show at the end of the school year,
made his mother demand him "back" ...
This is Tomer's 16th birthday.   I sent him this SMS at 7 AM:

And to my surprise, he affirmed it immediately with "Todah" !

Shma' Yisrael- sung by Tomer when he was not yet 9

See Tomer NOW - Oct.29, 2010 - beginning to learn guitar
By coincidence it is mentioned further down,
-in my letter to Re'u'ela on 15/8/1973,-
that his father "Immanuel (10) began to learn guitar!"

Shim'on called this rock above my cave,
in which he installed Solar Energy
[s. Rachel's List]....

November 8, 2010: a Great Insight!
Just before I remembered , that this is the 8th of November,

I had an exhilarating, far-reaching, miraculous insight,
which obviously became birthed through my retrieval
of the last pages of my "Hologram 1984", yesterday,
and in it the screaming outcry of 40 years of my life :

"How, how can I communicate what I have to say,
to partners in particular and to people in general?"

The answer is so simple, as only the truth can be simple!
NOT with spoken words!
NOT with words from your body mouth!
Not with words written by your body hands!

I suddenly understand,
why "God" speaks to us through signs:
If "God" would speak aloud - to our body ears,
we would be overwhelmed.
When it does occur ~~~sometimes ~~~to certain people,
they fall to the earth stricken as if by lightening,
like Paul on the road to Damascus.

There is the inner voice! But I may "dismiss" it!
Signs and coincidences in my life
have a stronger effect,
if, yes if I give attention to them,
or as we say in Hebrew:
if I put my heart towards them.

The message of 2005 on this page above says:
It's not about "helping" or "teaching",
it's about "sharing",
but this, too, is , in my case, much too much for people.
Even for those, who are on the same wave-length!!
They can grasp the depth of what I want to share,
but not - not at all, not at all - the quantity...

And, again, I tell myself:
if "God" would share him/herself,
people would be overwhelmed.
But if "sharing" means,
to share my very being with all that is,
just like a tree or a stone, or a wave does,
then even my ego
- which yearns that I do not waste my enegery in vain-
will be satisfied!

And as the example in the right frame shows:
with some people and for a short time,
verbal sharing is permitted and possible.....

I'll tell one, only one, of the coincidences
around that "retrieval" on Nov. 6-9, 2010

At the beginning of the agreed-upon evening phone-talk,
Lior Oren asked, how I felt.
"As always nowadays: excellent!"
"But there must be ups and downs in your life, too?"

"There are things to cope with,
and they mostly have to do with other people's pains.
I'll tell you what's up right now
And I told her, that I was angry at Tamir
and asked myself, if there was a sign that I should let go.

After a very strong - fantasized dialog with his father-
while swimming swirling in the pool in the morning-
I tried to reach Shim'on, calling, sending an SMS,
- in vain - perhaps I don't have his up-to-date number?
So I called Tamir- in vain - sent an SMS - in vain,

" perhaps I'm not meant to convey to Shim'on,
what my sounding-board is telling me
concerning the vital changes in life and living,
Tamir's parents have to make to stay alive?
Perhaps I should be content with thinking of them,
desiring for them, trusting, loving them from afar?"

After the good and useful communication with Lior
I thought: How strange, that I used just this one example
of a multitude of experiences, that my sharing is too much,
in order to share with Lior, what I begin to truly learn:
NOT with spoken words!
NOT with words from your body mouth!
Not with words written by your body hands!

For Lior is one of the very few people in my life,
with whom I'm permitted to use verbal communication!
If it's not right time, I'll technically not be free to talk,
and the procrastination of the talk always creates space-
for unexpected experiences that help her to help herself,
so that in the end I'm really nothing but a sounding-board,
a sounding-board for her inner knowing, her own voice!

What happened after I let go of Tamir and Shim'on
and my desire that their inner voice may be heard aloud
through the sounding-board which I am for them?

The next evening Tamir sent his father's phone-number.
I tried the next morning, today, on Nov. 9, 2010.
There were still technical bugs on my way,
but in the end we did communicate, and yes,
Shim'on was ready to listen to his voice through me!
And at this very moment, 14:55, Nov. 9, 2010
he confirmed that he received my email-test,
and promised, that he would write about himself.

2010_11_13 Still nothing from Shim'on. Tamir wrote:
"We'd be grateful, if you would 'nag'
metziqah my father!"





November 8, 2010 -

excerpted from Abraham’s new Getting into the Vortex Guided Meditation CD

We encourage you to make peace with everyone who opposes you
and with everyone whom you oppose,
not only because you cannot insist on their yielding to your perspective but because their opposing perspective is of tremendous benefit to you.
You see, because of your exposure to what you perceive
as their wrong or bad or unwanted behavior or perspective—
you have given birth to an improved situation.

[this is also true, if I'm not judging their beliefs or behaviors,
but suffer when realizing, how they themselves suffer
as a result of their beliefs and behaviors!]

And just as they helped the problem side of the equation
to come into focus,
they helped the solution side of the equation to come into focus, also; and that solution waits for you in your Vortex of Creation.
Through our daily meditation process,
you will come into alignment with those solutions and creations
that are in your Vortex,
and from inside your Vortex,
you will feel appreciation for everyone
who contributed to its becoming.
When you make peace with those
who differ in desire and belief and behavior
from your ideas of what is appropriate,
you do not perpetuate what you consider to be wrong.
Instead, you align with the solution side of the equation
that has been waiting for you in your Vortex of Creation


November 9-11, 2010

Just as on Nov. 7 it happened, that I was "driven backward" to the year 1984,
two days later I was "driven backward" to the year 1973.
It began in the train to my family - with reading the article, which I wrote,
i.e. worked on birthing it for many weeks - for the newspaper "Ha-aretz":
 "Academians: Receivers of Welfare
        Initiators of a revolution in the area of work?"

[mentioned also in "bio-testimony 3"]

It was not accepted, one more of my never-ending "failures" and "frustrations".
It's unbelievable, how relevant for today, 2010, this research of 1973 still is.......




[from Nov. 2010: the Flowers of Peace, Grace and Compassion - The New Earth Rises

I once again encountered Celia Fenn/Archangel Michael,
to my regret I don't read their messages regularly
because of "lack of time", "lack of capacity to receive, digest and apply",
but if a message comes my way as today (Nov. 9, 2010),
I'll read it and excerpt what is relevant for me.

Beloved Family of Light [I prefer my word "HeArtists"] ,
it is with Great Joy that we come to you at this time
to speak of the New Energies that are flooding your Planet
and the New Forms that are being brought into Manifestation at this time.
At the 10/10/10 Portal or Stargate opening, you ...held the space
to anchor the new energies of the Shekinah or Cosmic Mother..
that link the Oceans and the Land in a Planetary Unity as One.
Now, you are in the next phase
of giving Form and Physical Shape to these New Energies.




The energy of Compassion
creates a deep feeling of connection with fellow beings on the Planet
and a desire to support the emergence
into the Light of Higher Consciousness for All.
This, in turn, creates a desire to give form to a society
where all are supported and loved,

and where all can share in the abundance of material life.
Compassion is a gift of the Mother God or Divine Feminine
that ensures that all her Earthly Children know
that they are Loved and Supported at all times.

[If this would be a "gift", that has nothing to do with our own doing,
then why hasn't it been given from the beginning?
And how can The Mother give anything, if she's still being denied so much?]

At the 10/10/10, you passed through an energetic stargate
that allowed you to expand into Higher Consciousness.
You might liken this to the energy of a Bridge. ...
, many of you felt the need to leave situations
that were not in alighment with these new energies,
even if you were not sure what the next step would be
and how you would give form and expression to these New Energies in your lives.

At the 11/11 Stargate on the 11th of November,
you will begin to integrate these new energies more fully
and you will have a better understanding of how you should move forward
to express yourselves and your light in Love and Compassion.
You will better understand yourself
and what you need to achieve in this next phase of your life.

Beloveds, you will begin to align
with a new phase of personal growth and expansion in Love
that will also support the expansion and growth of the Planet.

By the 12/12 Stargate on the 12th of December,
you will be ready to give form to this new direction in your life.
The energies of Higher Consciousness
will manifest in New Directions for Work and Relationships.
....expect Synchronicities and Miracles in the Flow of Divine Love.


The Waves of Diamond Light
and the Next Phase of the Indigo Crystal Adventure in Light

Beloved Ones, at the 10/10/10 and the opening of the Stargate portal,
the Waves of Diamond Light coming to the Planet intensified.
These have the effect of activating Higher Consciousness
and increasing the Fields of Love and Peace on the Earth.
But, they are also being supported and enabled
by the arrival of the Diamond Rose Crystal Children.
These are the next "wave" of the Crystal Children,
and these ones are born in full Cosmic Consciousness
and fully awake and connected to the Spark of the Divine Light
that they carry within.
Their energy field sparkles like Diamonds
as they seed the New Energies into the Collective Fields of Light on the Earth.

At the same time, the Indigo-Crystal Beings [Tomer!] on the Planet
are being activated and directed into the Next Phase of their work
according to the Divine Plan as expressed through the Codes of Light.
This is the work to be Channels and Expressions of the New Energy
and to assist in creating a sustainable partnership with Nature
so that the Planet has a viable future in Peace, Love and Sustainability.

Many of the First and Second waves of Indigo Beings
that arrived on the Planet in the 1970s [Ofir] and 1980s
[my starchildren: Lior Oren, Boris, Tzippi, Gal, Dina, Meshi,]
will shift into this New Consciousness and this New Work of Love.
They will feel called to work in Groups and in Projects that support
the emergence of a sustainable and compassionate way of life on the Earth...

..... Beloveds, it is not surprising that you may feel exhausted and confused
as all this new information flows into your... cellular memories and DNA.
Your mind is not able to process this information.
The mind level and the mental body is given to process your present life experience
and to pass this information into the Earth and Soul Akasha.
......Beloved Ones, the work of the Mind is
to allow the rest of the Multi-Dimensional Body to process and lead,
and to be aware of "instructions" that come from the Heart and through the Body.
When you align with these instructions
you will flow into Higher Forms of expression
and love with Ease and Grace and Joy.....





About the same time, when I worked on this article,
I had a correspondence with Lewis Elton,
the son of Franz Rosenzweig's cousin, Victor Ehrenberg

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Lewis Richard Benjamin Elton (born 25 March 1923)
[Oct.4, 2013: I checked and I'm glad he, now 90, is still alive],
is a German-born British physicist
and researcher into education,

specialising in higher education.
Born Ludwig Ehrenberg in Tübingen
to the scholars Victor Ehrenberg and Eva Dorothea Sommer,
his (Jewish) family moved to Prague in 1929,
and from there to England in February 1939, to escape the threat of Nazism.
He changed his name to Lewis Elton during the Second World War,
after which he obtained British citizenship.

....He was Professor of Physics at Battersea College of Technology from 1964 until 1970.
As the College completed its transformation into the University of Surrey
(and its relocation from Battersea to Guildford) in 1970
he became Professor of Higher Education, a post he held until 1988.
In 1994 he was appointed Professor of Higher Education at University College London,
where he founded the Higher Education Research and Development Unit
(now the Centre for the Advancement of Learning and Teaching).
...He is a Fellow of the American Institute of Physics
and a Fellow of the Society for Research into Higher Education.
He was awarded a Lifetime Achievement award at the 2005 Times Higher Awards ,
at which Baroness Kennedy said "there is a polymath quality to this man
that points to someone interested
in educating the whole person".

Lewis Elton had visited us for the first time in April 1967,
and it was with him and my mother, who was our guest then,
that Rafael climbed up Masada, and my mother had that stroke.
Obviously Lewis must have visited us again in 1973 and informed us,
that he - a professor for atomic-physics -
had changed career some years ago.
I remember exactly, how he explained this strange change:
"I could see, that the field of Atomic Physics was expanding so fast,
that only younger people could keep up with this expansion."

I'm deeply moved by his life's path, as I learnt from him then,
and as I'm learning from the Internet now.
It seems to me, that he in a certain way applied through his work,
what I have been propagating through this article
and during my entire life, whenever I had and have the chance-
like when hitchhiking with a frustrated driver - empowering him
to get out of what frustrates him
and strive for what gives him zest-full-ness and full-fill-ment.

On 30/6/73 I wrote to Lewis Elton…
Now I must tell you something about your last visit.
I suppose you did not realize, how awfully impressed I was
by the change of career you made out of your own free will,
especially after you told about the loss of prestige which followed it.
I am telling this story over and over again,
as an example of what a sensible person can do and must do,
if he is honest with himself and courageou
I hope, not every "midlife carreer" has to be so drastic,
but surely the number of happy people would increase
and the uneffectiveness of so much task-performing would decrease,
if your approach would become more common.

What I want to ask first, is, if this your step was taken individually,
or if you can see already something like a trend in changing not only a job
but so important a position and profession as was yours, or even more –
if there is somebody official encouraging such high mobility in occupations?

Lewis Elton answered me about 5 weeks
before I began with my first job since I was married.

(my temporary jobs until then:
at the age of 6, picking peas
at the age of 9 and 12: knitting socks or sweaters for money
from the age of 12: private lessons to pupils after school
in English, Latin, Greek, German
from the age of 13: playing the organ in church services, when needed.
Garden-work for money
At the age of 20: half a year of paid or voluntary work,
as demanded for my studies of theology. This included
- a month as a guide in a summer-camp,
- a month as a nurse in hospital
2 months as a seller of blouses in a warehouse,
2 months with people sick with epilepsy at Bethel/Bielefeld
Later, in 1963 - 6 months as assistant in the Institutum Judaicum at Tuebingen.

This "real" job - shortly before the Yom-Kippur-war - demanded,
that I function as a placement officer for academic New Immigrants
from Russia and Rumania, in two Absorption Centers,
5 months in "Kfar Yona" and 5 months in Natanya.
My own intention was to prepare myself for fulfilling my vision,
as described in this article
to create a space (a Bet-Midrash),
where people would train in finding the work,
which would give them zest-full-ness and full-fill-ment,
so that also Society would find the workers,
who would joyfully and effectively carry out the tasks,
which Society needs.

In 2004 I created a space at the Salt Sea for "Training Dreamers",
but I had to finally understand, that I am to train only face-to-face...
Yes, BUT! --- Towards my 75th birthday in Aug. 2013, I hit bottom:
All the superhuman work I did in my life
were "training-grounds" to full-fill my vocation:
becoming a pioneer of Evolution in learning how to feel.
There is no use in "training dreamers"
if they haven't trained first in learning how to feel.



When I searched for an image of Lewis Elton, this was the first which I opened

My dear Rachel, 29 July 1973
You have made me feel very humble – something that happens to me all too rarely – because you have exaggerated in your mind what I have done and then gone on to tell me about your problems, with which I am ill qualified to deal. But let me try. First to answer your question, yes I did take the step individually and without essentially any advice. If I had taken advice, I think that I would probably have been encouraged in my decision, because I have since met a number of people in their 40's who either have made similar radical changes or wished that they had done. What was probably fairly unusual, was that I was in no way forced by external pressures to do what I did, but I did it with so little knowledge as to how it would affect me, that it was a foolhardy act rather than a courageous one. If I had asked for advice, I hope that it might have resulted in a more informed decision and to that extent a more courageous one.

Looking back on the past six years, I now feel that many people should indeed make a radical change in middle life, but that two conditions must be met. (1) They must wish to prolong their active life to the maximum extent. (My horror is that I should change from Faust, 1. Teil, "Sollt' ich zum Augenblicke sagen…" to Faust, 2. Teil, "Zum Augenblicke will ich sagen…" (I fear senility and cannot accept serenity.) (2) They must have a real desire to do that new thing that they are about to do. My feeling is that you satisfy both conditions, but the second is very important and one should not start on the new as a refuge from the old – in your case, I suppose in an attitude of "leider auch Theologie" [ see Goethe's Faust in English "I've studied now Philosophy And Jurisprudence, Medicine, And even, alas! Theology", This does fit my theme!!!]

As for anyone officially encouraging this kind of mobility, there is lots of lip-service and pious talk, but little real support. If you do it, you will join the pioneers. One final warning. While you are a changing , you may be more difficult to live with and afterwards you will have less time for your family. The latter is wrong for a man and I am trying hard at the moment to undo some of the damage I have caused in this way, but for a woman who has already given so much to her family the situation is of course quite different.

As for what you want to do, I believe it to be enormously worthwhile, but the difficulties you present look formidable.

29/1/1974 Rachel in Israel to Lewis in England:
…But your letter, or rather one sentence in this letter, played an important role in this decisive period, and if imaginative letters could materialize somehow, you had received plenty of letters ~~~ You say "while you are changing you may be more difficult to live with and afterwards you will have less time for your family. The latter is wrong for a man … but for a woman who has already given so much to her family the situation is of course quite different." I know you weren't in the least aware of the important aid you gave me with this sentence.

I was never afraid, my family would suffer the minute I would go out working – on the contrary I always knew – for myself and for all the other women – that each member of the family would profit from a mother who finds satisfaction and recognition in addition to what the family is able to give. But Rafael was very afraid and in fact opposed my desire to work for a long time. And so I was over-apprehensive and concerned for making up for that selfish desire. And then came your sentence and I suddenly knew, that I had a real "right" to work outside the family, even if it would mean some suffering for the family.

This implicated, for instance, that I was very quiet, when I realized that Rafael gradually took upon himself some of the tasks, I had done before – as the preparing of two meals on Sunday and taking the children to the dentist or the guitar-lesson etc. – Without the sentence in your letter I would have prevented him from doing so, out of fear that he would some day accuse me~~~ What you told me, I was always telling other women, encouraging them in taking up a job. But as our Sages say:
No one can free himself from prison, he can free only others, and when he himself is in prison, he needs somebody else to pull him out.

As a matter of fact, none of our apprehensions were justified, on the contrary, everything worked out much better than I could have imagined or dreamt of. The job, of course, is very frustrating, if I still would seek satisfaction in the plain results of it, that is in a positive and measurable answer to the question of how many immigrants have found their jobs through my direct help. But I asked for this job in order to learn all those things about reality, which I need for the accomplishment of the task, I was hinting at (again there is no time to tell you more about it) and which I cannot learn out of books, such as "establishment", "bureaucracy", labour-market, labor-market-prospects, many details about all sorts of jobs and professions, and many human relation skills in the team-work at the "Absorption Center", in the team-work at "The Office for the Placement of academic professionals", and in the direct contact with the new immigrants. But even in the beginning, when I thought, I would never succeed with this work at a time, when there are just no jobs available and communication with the Russians and Rumanians would be just too difficult, and when I could ask nobody for advice because of the absence of all men during wartime [Yom-Kippur-War] and a long time after that – I always was happy to return to my home and felt that I enjoyed my whole wonderful life no longer only with my mind (telling myself each day: look what you have got – all those good things which most of the people want to gain and never do), but with my whole heart and being.

By the way, I hadn't intended to apply "the change" I admire in your life on   m y s e l f !!!!  I never really worked outside the house, so I can't change work, can I! Nor am I "running away from theology"! but I never, never wanted to use "my torah" as a job to earn my living by it. I always wanted to translate knowledge and understanding into something that makes life better for some people. I even know what that something is in my case. More of it next time. Thank you very much, Lewis! yours Rachel. [It seems, that there was no "next time"...].


Note to the letter to Lewis:
At that time it didn't mean anything to me,
that Lewis was the son of Victor Ehrenberg, Rosenzweig's cousin,
nor did I know, that he was born in "my" Tuebingen university town.
But now, after my intense work in 2008 on the "Franz Rosenzweig to Gritli-Letters" ,
I see that great family...
and I use the chance to quote a passage from a Rosenzweig letter,
which is relevant to me:

"An Margrit und Eugen Rosentock am 24. Maerz 1919 [see the letter online]:

"Ich habe ... die 10 Themen an Hans (Ehrenberg) geschrieben...
Die "Gegeninstanzen" nehme ich nicht tragisch- was ist ohne Gegeninstanzen?
und "planmaessiges Arbeiten mit Hypnose" waere es nur,
wenn die Themen Ende und nicht vielmehr   T h e s e n  waeren,
von denen man nur anfinge, um wer weiss wo zu enden....
Ich daechte mir, du liessest es in Heidelberg darauf ankommen, wie es das erste Mal geht. Wahrscheinlich stellt sich das Beduerfnis heraus, die Diskussion am folgenden Tag fortzusetzen. Jedenfalls immer nur   e i n e   These anzeigen.
Sie muss wirklich These sein
und was der Gegenstand des naechsten Tages ist,
darf sich erst in der Diskussion selber herausstellen.
Das habe ich auch an Hans geschrieben.

[my exhortation to myself in 2008:
" that must be the consequence of the mistake
I made with the Bnot-Mitzvah-girls -
that I proposed a program for more than one meeting!"]

Long before Lewis I had another idol,
who changed a splendid "career"
as a theologian and as an organist
at the age of 30:
and studied medicine from scratch
in order to help the sick people in
Albert Schweitzer.
In my childhood and youth
I wanted to follow him to
I recalled this passage in his
"From my Living and Thinking":
"Who is permitted to walk on unpaved pathes",
excerpted it at first in April 1973,
found it "very relevant" in Dec.1999
and again in March 1984,
and still on this day,
on which I copy the text from the photographed doc.

(Albert Schweitzer - nach seinem Entschluss, Theologie und Musik zu verlassen, Medizin zu studieren, um in den Urwald zu gehen):

"....Eine Wohltat waren mir die Menschen, die mir nicht mit der Faust ins Herz zu langen suchten, sondern mich fuer einen ein bisschen um seinen Verstand gekommenen aeltlichen Juenglinig ansahen und mich dementsprechend mit liebem Spott behandelten.

An sich fand ich es ganz angebracht, dass die Naechsten und die Freunde mir alles vorhielten, was gegen die Vernunftgemaessheit meines Planes sprach. Als einer, der vom Idealismus Nuechternheit verlangt, war ich mir bewusst, dass jedes Begehen eines ungebahnten Weges ein Wagnis ist, das nur unter besonderen Umstaenden Sinn und Aussicht auf Gelingen hat. ...

Als Mann der individuellen Tag bin ich seither von vielen Menschen, die sie ebenfalls wagen wollten, um Meinung und Rat angegangen worden. Nur in verhaeltnismaessig wenigen Faellen habe ich die Verantwortung, sie ohne weiteres dazu zu ermutigen, auf mich genommen. Oft musste ich feststellen, dass das Beduerfnis, "etwas Besonderes zu tun", einem unsteten Geiste entsprang. Die betreffenden wollten sich groesseren Aufgaben widmen, weil diejenigen, vor die sie sich gestellt sahen, ihnen nicht genuegten. Oft zeigte sich auch, dass sie in ihrem Entschluss durch ganz nebensaechliche Erwaegungen bestimmt waren.

Nur derjenige, der jeder Taetigkeit einen Wert abgewinnen kann und der sich jeder mit vollem Pflichtbewusstsein hingibt, hat das innerliche Recht dazu,*) sich ein ausserordentliches Tun statt des ihm natuerlich zufallenden zum Ziel zu setzen. . Nur derjenige, der sein Vorhaben als etwas Selbstverstaendliches, nicht als etwas Aussergewoehnliches empfindet und der kein Heldentum, sondern nur in nuechternem Enthusiasmus uebernomme Pflicht kennt, besitzt die Faehigkeit, ein geistiger Abenteurer zu sein, wie sie die Welt noetig hat. Es gibt keine Helden der Tat, sondern nur Helden des Verzichtens und des Leidens. Ihrer sind viele. Aber wenige von ihnen sind bekannt und auch diese nicht der Menge, sondern nur den Wenigen.
"Helden und Heldenverehrung" ist kein tiefes Buch Carlyles. Albert Schweitzer : Aus meinem Leben und Denken. S. 76-7

*) My life's slogans: "Was er tat, tat er mit ganzer Seele, darum war auch Gott mit ihm."
What he did, he did with is whole soul, therefore God was with him.
A poster on the wall in the staircase to my classrooms in school for several years.
A chassidic story: " What was the most important thing for your Rabbi during his life: "was er gerade tat" - "whatever he did in a certain moment".
I also see the list of my "jobs" on this page, above...
Also: when Efrat asked me cautiously, if I would stay with Mika, while in a few weeks, she and Immanuel, with Micha and Ra'ayah, would fly to Prague for a few days and Immanuel had warned her: "but my mother is very busy again", (meaning my "pregnancy" with the Tent-Vision) I said to Efrat: but you [i.e. my family] have always preference! )




Yom-Kippur, October 6 , 1973,     3 hours before the war, with my children
A letter to my friend Re'u'ela, the paintress,
on my 35th birthday, August 15, 1973,
while I was waiting to be accepted to my first job outside the house.
The letter epitomizes my predicament during those years
but also gives an example of what I then perceived as my joys.

I say "then", because I then denied the enormous pressure
I would feel today and did feel then
in a situation of "3 nations, 3 religions, 3 languages" together.




Between Micha, my youngest, and Annemarie Mayer , my much older friend
in August 1973, in our garden
Dr. Annemarie Mayer was not only "the wife" of Reinhold Mayer,
the teacher who in January 1958 had opened my eyes wide -
to Holocaust, Judaism, Israel, - and Franz Rosenzweig...
but a friend and one of my "regular" ... "Angels-on-the Abyss".

Her 3rd son, Johannes, here with my children, owes his existence to my advocacy


There is no picture of Rushdi Fadila and his family from 1973, but see later in "Partnership".
This image with the two families - taken on Pesach 1980 (Rushdi: "I was never invited to a Jewish Festival")
brings up sadness; It was the last Jewish festival, which I celebrated with my family...
I left home -forever - before Yom Kippur 1980, and Rushdi died of cancer, I think in 1990...


I'm a creature, and my friend is a creature,
I, my work is in town, and he, his craft is on the field.
I get up in the morning towards my work
and he gets up in the morning towards his work
And if you should say, I'm doing a lot and is doing little -
we are both one
One does a lot and one does little,
if only he turns his heart towards heaven!

[Tosefta-Berachot 17 a]

For many years , on Shabbat Eve,
we used to read to each other a poem or a passage
that was meaningful to the reader.
On August 3, 1973, Rafael read a poem by the political poet "Yebbi"

with a sentence on top:
"the continuation of occupation - a moral and social holocaust"
which seems to have nothing to do with the love-poem that follows:


Work in America, Report of a Special Task Force to the Secretary of Health,
Education and Welfare, Prepared under the Auspices of the Upjohn Institute for Emplyment research. The MIT Press Cambridge [the rest of the line is cut off]

On Shabbat-Eve, August 24, 1973 -
I read a chapter from Khalil Gibran's "The Prophet" [see online!]

Rachel, 24.8.73

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which yur laughter rises
was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
[2010: As much as I loved "The Prophet" once, I feel reserved today....]

In late August, yet another visitor, Almut Mey (the photographer) caused me
to walk around Yaffo - accompanied also by little Ronnit (8).
It was the day of my second interview for my first "job" outside my home,
in the" Office for the Placement of Academic Workers".

Two quotations from the same novel "Come Near", one by a husband and one by a wife.
How much unfull-filled yearning, how much superhuman pain....

Rafael, January 26, 1973 ,

"We were talking a little while ago about danger. I mean now your 'frigile, fierce, and tender,' the union we can make. But the work to be done in that village - or any place that people live - that's probably the most dangerous of all. That is where we really stand to lose our lives through wasted effort, and that is the most there is to lose. But even if, or when, we go down in defeat, it still matters how we do it - whether like Ferguson, or like Mulligan.

I'm asking you to share with me the bitter and the broken for the sake of the potential, the chance to live, to move, to be, however briefly. Two, to love this twin conscious spot in time that is us, and make the most of it, more than either could do alone. I am asking you to join with me in finding ways to put meaning into life, not just demanding that it have meaning. I am asking you to gamble on our chance to seize hold of some of the infinite resources, to cut one of the paths that will lead up and out over the open top. There is nothing more real than consciousness, and nothing more possible than its cultivation."
page 351
From mutual readings on Friday-Evenings: "a summary of all I requested from our love, but from which nothing was realized."

In bed, before we put off the light, my husband and I used to read. While I often needed months to "finish" a book, Rafael usually devoured 2 books in a week. I wondered why he was never touched by what he read.

In this case he recommended that I read what he had read, too:
Alexander H. Leighton, COME NEAR (Nortoon & Company, New-York, 1971).
a novel about a man who wanted to fall in love in a way that would still allow destiny to decide:
He went off in a little boat towards the open ocean. Yet the boat landed on the shore of an Eskimo tribe, where his view of life, love and himself was transformed (as far as I remember today, April 10, 2014)
Rachel, February 2, 1973
In a later handwritten note on this piece of paper I called what I quoted:
"The summary of my life in 1972-73",
a time of hell-deep depression
[in 2014 I learn, that Leighton and his wife dedicated their work to depression"!].

"There were moments when the return to self-awareness brought more than the realizatin that for a time I had been free of p0ain, or had had an instant of acute exhilaration. It brought the recognition that for hours I had been perfectly happy. Yet in that very moment I would lose my grip and sink again, likea climber who was doing all right until he looked down." (page 15)
"no one can live with the real pity of the earth finging in his ears. So you shut out compassion and live protected in a small globe of self-interest, with souls in agony flapping their beaks all around. " )
page 64 of "Come near'.

May 8, 1973, After I received the Ph.D. certificate.
On the first sheet of the new letter-paper,
with only my name
not as so far , with "R.R.Rosenzweig" = Rafael Rachel Rosenzweig,
was used by Immanuel (10) for sending us a message by typewriter:
"My Imma, I'm happy, and Abba, that you did not quarrel today,
You almost quarreled today, all the time I trembled. "
He crossed out the Hebrew Dr. and the Arabic Al-Doctora and the English Ph.D.
and replaced it by "Imma" and "Mama"...
[see also in bio-testimony 3, end of page]

Immanuel wrote a diploma for Imma, with images and grades for all the work and chores she did then
"Imma on Mount Sinai"
[by Immanuel]

I had allowed myself
to accept the offer of our guest Ingrid Oberreich,
to accompany her on a tourist-travel to Sinai -
it was 3 weeks before the 1973 war

Still on the old letter-paper Immanuel gave Imma a diploma for her job as mother: very good

"Each Child is Unique" , is the title of this bath-tub idyll of 1973
Today - 2014 - it is no longer an idyll , but the beginning of a sequence of abominable scenes...

"Liebste   d u   freust dich schon, dass du bist -
und ich, was soll ich denn erst tun?
Freuen ist manchmal wirklich kein Wort.
Vielleicht ist das einzig Unverbrachte und Unverbrauchbare
das Danken."

(Letters to Gritli, 23. Februar 1919, online)


May this quote from the "Gritli-Letters" create a loop of light to the theme,
with which this page started in 2005:
the difference between happiness and joy.
And yes: even when happiness is lacking and joy is only imagined,
there can always be grate-full-ness!





a letter sent to many "relevant" people in 1973,
in the all-too-naive hope,
that someone would invite me
to learn and work in some "relevant' frame-work
so I could train myself towards realizing my vision

Appendix B to "Detailed Process of my studies and work-experiences

Continuation of Closeups to my Past, Finetuning to my Present, Nourishment for my Living -
- which enhance and enrich my experience of
"Mika's Heaven on Earth"